Shoftim - Getting Relationships Right

You're listening to the weekly para podcast with Ari Goldwag recorded with Hashem's never ending assistance in Vish Israel 5785 2025. This week's para is parim and at the beginning of our para it says you shall place judges and policemen in all of your gates in the place that Hashem is giving you for all of your tribes. and they are to judge the people with a righteous and just judgment. So the Torah lays down for us that there is a foundational concept and that is that we need justice. We need fairness. Right? In life, human beings have a tendency, I don't know if you've noticed this, we have a tendency to be selfish. We have a tendency to want things that are not ours. they have a tendency to try to gain things that belong to others and or to make mistakes to cause damage etc. And we need the the to first of all tell us well who's is it what's right? What's just what's fair? Right? There are there are rules about that. Of course there are rules that we have to pay attention to and and take heed of. And of course there's also the fact that Hashem makes sure that the money gets to whomever it's meant to get to. That's a deeper aspect of it. But we're not talking about that. We're talking about our own personal obligations in our and this is an important topic because we are right before and of course as we know yum kipper is a day of atonement and we come to we come to God with all that we've done throughout the year the things that we've done wrong in our relationship with Hashem and he can forgive us for all of that because that's a direct discussion between us and Hashem and we can come and say look we've done this wrong we want to try to be better we're going going to try to be better. But when it comes to when it comes to money that we've taken that's not ours, when it comes to damage that we've caused to others, whether it's physical damage, emotional damage, we've done all kinds of things that we need to correct. And that's something as say is that is not for. We can't Hashem cannot forgive me for something that I've done wrong to somebody else, to another human being. That's something that I need to go directly to that person. And I can't possibly do that if I don't even know that I've done anything wrong. So sometimes we need people outside of ourselves to say this is what you've done wrong and this is what you need to do to fix that problem. And sometimes we need the other person to say hey you've wronged me and bring me to court. I don't I'm not interested in that personally but sometimes it happens. And it needs to be it needs we have to want justice. We have to want what's right. We have to want to do what's right and to make sure that those who deserve whatever they deserve are receiving what they deserve. That's the concept of judges. It's a concept of policemen. That's the concept of in all of your gates is a land of Israel. And in order for it to function properly, we need to have a society that functions properly. And we need to have people doing that which is right. making sure that things are as they are meant to be. Now, there's a very interesting medish. I'm going to read to you two pieces from the medish. One is a little bit shorter and just contains a particular message which I think is important. And then the second one is a little longer and it's a little bit of a deeper message, but both messages are important and they have to do with justice and they have to do with doing what's right. And this is something that we need to think about now. We're in L and we're heading towards it's about our relationship with Hashem and it's also about our relationship with our fellow man. It's about our coming to terms with and make the mistakes that we've made and trying to correct them. We have to come into we have to come into it's a time when we are right we're trying to connect to each other so that we can serve Hashem properly make him our king. the the kingdom in order for the king to come and want to rule his kingdom. He wants to see that the subjects actually care about each other, they love each other and they're interested in each other's welfare. So this is an important prerequisite. We're a month away, you know, a little bit less from we're more than a month from so it's important that we start thinking about these ideas and how we can try to fix our issues making sure that we're doing what's right. We want to, you know, we want to come to Hashem with a clean slate. We want to make sure that we're okay. We want Hashem to give us a good judgment. And part of that is, hey, we also judge ourselves. You know, that's kind of the way things work. So, I want to be sure that I in myself am clean. So, I feel comfortable with myself. If I want to ask Hashem for forgiveness, that involves between myself and others. talking about the concept of den of judgment and he says don't make fun of it don't make a a a mockery out of din out of judgment and what does it mean so it's very interesting you know the misha says a very specific which I think is important to hear I don't know if this is true I think generally it might not exactly be the way that we go about things. But it's important to hear conceptually this idea even if it's not true. When a person comes to a court, when a person comes for a judgment, you have two people contesting whatever it is. This one says the talis is mine. This one says no, it's mine. So the first thing that the court does is says do you want din or do you want p? Do you want justice? Do you want the actual uh deciding decision? the actual decision. Do you want us to decide for you what we believe is correct in this case or do you want do you want some kind of compromise? Now let's understand the word compromise means that nobody gets what they want really and it also means that we don't give them what's just right because let's say this item the talis belongs to ruin and sh is saying it's mine so if we do if we make a compromise we're going to split it right and when we split it so one guy's going to get half that's that guy doesn't deserve it it's not his and the other guy's going to lose it's really his and he and he gets only half soara a compromise while it's nice in a certain sense cuz there's a fight and let's make shalom let's make peace but on the other hand it's not justice it's not correct it's not really true soil says this is how understand the med that alleg means don't make a mockery out of justice by saying let's find a para let's find a compromise there's a there's a minimizing of truth whenever there's a compromise and I'm not saying that in a marriage let's say where you have two people fighting that we shouldn't try to find compromise not saying that we shouldn't look for peace but I'm saying conceptually we we have to understand that when there's a compromise somebody loses out who just justice is not served and according to this opinion he brings in the misha that there's there's an opinion that you do go for shar we do seek compromise but there's another opinion that says you're not you're not supposed to seek compromise is saying don't seek compromise. What do we really want? We really want what's right. If I come into a court case, I really want to lose the talis if it's not mine. If it doesn't really belong to me, I want what's right. I don't want to have something in my possession which doesn't really belong to me. That doesn't I'm not that I I don't deserve. I didn't earn. That's wrong. says, "Why is it that you should be careful not to make a mockery of justice?" Our sages say that the world stands on three things. Notice the order here on judgment, on truth, and on peace. Which means to say shalom, peace is like kind of compromised. But that's the last on the list. The first on the list is den, which means justice, which means the correct way. It's supposed to be correct. We're supposed to do what's right. If I stole the money from somebody else and it's 10 years ago, I stole $100 or I borrow $100, I never paid him back. Justice says that I owe him the money, I might be able to go to a collection agency that and and make some kind of deal, but I didn't pay back the money. You know, if let's say they say, "Okay, pay 50." They don't expect to get their money. So, they say, "Pay $50 instead of 100." But I haven't given them the money that they really deserve. I I took their money. I didn't give it back. Right? So, let's be clear that that's not justice. That's shalom. It's compromised. They think they're never going to get the money. So, I give them half the money and they're happy. But that's not justice. D is giving them back the money. says that if you bend judgment, if you don't if you don't act with strict justice, if you don't do what's really really right, the letter of the law, we said that there are three foundations of the world. One is den. You have a world and it's standing. It's like a chair with three legs and it's standing on it's standing on these three legs. One leg is called din justice. One is called uh where are we here MS1 is truth which is clearly related and one is shalom which is peace compromise if you if you don't have den if you don't have den so the whole chair falls the whole world falls the foundation of the world is is missing say another aspect of this and they say the power of den of justice is very powerful It's very tough, which is interesting. I don't know exactly what's the difference between the world, the foundations of the world versus the foundations of God's throne. God's throne is also an aspect of how he, you know, he's the king, right? So, if he's sitting on his throne, that means that he's looking at the world and he's determining what's good for the world like a king does. King is involved in his in his uh kingdom looking down and trying to figure out what are the needs of his people. So Hashem is sitting on his that means that his interaction with us the is where God sits and thinks about us worries about us worries about his subjects judges us. So one of the foundations, one of the legs upon which the co stands is how do we know is justice is is judgment. That's the foundation of your throne. Kindness and truth come before you. And by the way, let's I mean know it's important to mention we're talking about justice. So it's easy for me to demand justice. But it's more it's much more difficult for me to submit to justice. But I also want to say here I want to point out it does say here and does say shalom and that there is such a thing as being muv let's say somebody owes me $100. I'm allowed to forgive the money. Let's be clear. I can I can give the person a clean slate and say you know what I'm the money I'm not interested in it and as we spoke about in previous weeks when I'm when I'm when I give up on the things that are owed to me by through justice so that Hashem also interacts with me in a way which doesn't demand justice. So that's important. But I'm talking about here not how I think about somebody else as far as me demanding from somebody else justice or me being somebody else for something that they've done wrong to me. I'm not here. We're talking about my obligation to my fellow man. I'm talking about my my commitment to what the Torah says, which is just making sure that I'm okay, that I'm doing what's right, that I if I have something that's not mine, it doesn't stay in my possession. And we're going to see more about that in the next. Hashem says, look, this thing of den of judgment of justice is the foundation of the world. It's the foundation of Hashem's throne of of of kingship. The way that he interacts with us. If we are just with our fellows, so then Hashem is just with us. Hashem is interested in us. Hashem takes care of us. And he employs all of these things. He brings in sedic and mishb and they all come into play. But it depends on us being if if our relationship with others is correct is is in line with the tyra. So then Hashem's relationship with us is also aligned. So it finishes off the message here and says since if a person doesn't have den properly doesn't have proper justice, if the world does not function with proper justice, so it makes the foundations of the world shaky. It makes the foundations of Hashem's divine throne shaky. So be so careful about this. This is a very important thing. Be extra careful about this. We're coming into which means the day of justice. We got to make sure we are being just otherwise the whole foundation of the world is shaky. How do we know this concept? This is something that we learned out from our at the beginning of our para which is place for yourselves which means get yourself judges and get yourself police officers which means to say I know that I don't know I know that I'm I'm a human being and I'm self-centered. I'm egotistical. I'm I have my own way. I think I'm right. But I need to appoint people outside of myself. We need to appoint people outside of ourselves to look at us and give us feedback and make sure that we are doing what's right. Because it's so easy to make a mistake. It's so easy to think I'm right when I'm not. And we need to seek justice. Not that we get what's coming to us, but that we make sure that we are not we are not doing something wrong to others. It's a different think. This different way of thinking about it's different. It's a different view of things. My responsibility to somebody else. I need to make sure that things are right. Not so I again not so I get what I what's coming to me but so that I make sure I'm giving out to others what's what's coming to them. It's a different kind of focus. But that's how I need to come in. That's I need to hear. I need to think about I need to come into the with a foundation for the world for my personal world for the whole world for my personal relationship with Hashem and for the whole world's relationship with Hashem. Important concept. Let's go on to the next concept and I want to read to you theim the is going to bring it says like this it's very interesting the king Solomon the wisest of all men told us like this listen here lazy person human beings we're naturally lazy but I want you to go you can learn a lesson from an amala from an ant. I started reading this to my kids and they're like can learn out that an ant is very quick. He doesn't stop for a moment. He's always moving. We can learn something from everything in creation. The lowliest creature, a little ant, they're busy. They're busy. They're busy. Well, is that a good thing? Is it important to be very busy? Obviously, we got to be busy with the right things, right? That's clear. But there's something to learn from the from the and let's see the puss says it doesn't have an army officer commanding it. It doesn't have a police officer commanding it. Doesn't have a a leader leading it. The ants do what they're supposed to do without anybody goating them on. They just are programmed that way. That's important to know. The M says that every single human being has within themselves all of the kas of creation beautifully. He says it every single human being has within themselves all that you find all of the power all of the the different characteristics and and abilities of all that was created by Hashem. All that is contained within every individual. So if you see a certain thing in creation, let's say you see a kul a cat is it's modest about the way that it goes about its needs. We learn from that to be modest. You learn from a fox something. You can learn from a leopard. You can learn something as can be tough like a leopard kanesher. Be light like a bird. Be be quick. We learn from the ant that nothing is telling it what to do. No one is telling it what to do. But it it has inside of itself a natural tendency to get moving and to to keep moving and to keep collecting. Now, is that a good thing to say it prepares in the in the summer its food it stockpiles in the time of of the harvest all of the food that it needs and and it's brought down here. I got to I got to read the next post. But you are lazy. When how long will you be sleeping with? When will you get up from your sleep? Right? The human being has a tendency to be lazy to be to to not want to move to not want to accomplish to feel like I can't do anything anyway. But the ant it gathers and gathers and gathers. The measures is going to say we'll see how much we see inside. But it gathers and gathers beyond its needs. like much more than its needs. Is that a good thing? No. It's not a good thing for me to gather, let's say, lots and lots of money if I don't need that money just so I can have wealth. That's not a good thing. I'm going to give it to Saddaka maybe. But there is a spiritual concept there that we can learn from. Let's see the magician's side. He brings the Why did King Solomon decide to learn from an ant to teach something to the to the lazy person? It seems like perhaps it's not the right place to learn from the the ant is overdoing it. The rabbon say that there's a few things that we see from an ant. What from from its behavior? One is that it takes it it has three levels within its sanctuary underneath the ground. The upper level the upper level so water can get in there so it doesn't bring its food into the upper level and the lower level can get dirty. it gets muddy. But in the middle level, there's a central uh area within the sanctuary. It's a kind of funny word to use for an ant antillill, but in within the the where the place that the ant lives. So there's a middle level and that's where it brings the food. So it it has a certain consciousness about the effects of being too close to where the water is and too close to where the destructive force of the of the earth is. So it places it in a safe place and perhaps it's not clear. I didn't see anything on this specific line, but perhaps it's telling us that we need to be sure that we're in the middle path. There are there are things that can can affect us on this side. Maybe spiritually things that can affect us physically. We got to stay on the middle path. Says the ant lives six months. That's the physical fact. An animal that doesn't have bones and it doesn't have uh doesn't have senu. So then it can't live more than six months. All that it eats in its lifetime is one kernel of grain and a half. But it keeps going and going, collecting and collecting. It's why does she do that? Why is the aunt I don't know why I'm referring to a she, but it's because the here it says why does she do that? Why does the ant do that? Because like maybe the ant says to itself as it were maybe Hashem will decide that I'm going to live longer than 6 months and I'll have what to eat and the mush is what it's teaching us is we'll see this it continues actually let's read inside they found a huge amount 300 core It's a huge amount of of grain they found inside of the ants ants abode. That's what King says, "Go to the ant. Learn from the ant. Why do I need to learn so much Torah for? It's not all it's not, you know what I'm saying? I'll learn about I'm going to learn about what what's going to be like in the basonus. We're not even there yet. But let's we'll learn about it when it comes. I need to learn so many different things that aren't no galamisa or I'm not even going to get how much am I going to really from what I learn how much of it is going to be applicable. I need to know so much. Why do you need to have so much information? Why do I need to do so many mitzvah? That's enough to do a mitzvah. I do I need to do a lot of mitzvah. I need to gather so much. And the answer is yes. We learn from the namala that just like it says, hey, it thinks about the future as it were. Maybe I'll live longer. Maybe I'll live longer. We will live longer. Our soul continues in its existence after the the body passes. Our soul continues to go on. And so when it gets up to shine, we got to have a proper storehouse for it. For the ant, it's a maybe maybe we'll continue. Maybe he'll continue to live. But for us, it's a guaranteed thing. It's absolutely certain. I'm going to continue to live and I need to have something a storehouse for for my soul of spiritual acquisitions, spiritual food for me to live on when I get to the next world. So, so it's very interesting. I'm going to skip here a little bit. Now, let's be clear. The ant does this without the and the ant naturally has this inclination to collect and to collect and to collect and to think about the future to be aware of its future which it's for sure not going to have but maybe it will have it. So ingrained into the ant is that nature which means as the mom explained ingrained into us is the potential for that type of thinking as well. And we see it all the time people you know collecting more and more money that they're not even going to use. They're going to leave over to their kids. They're always collecting and collecting money and they can't even spend the money to feel a sense of of of false security. But what about the real thing? That's that's a real feeling that can be used for a real positive thing. I don't need a shy. I don't need a sher. I don't need a judge and a policeman and an army officer to make sure that I do what's right and that I try to collect. I can learn from the ant just as the ant is hoarding hoarding. I also need to hoard and use that mida. It's a human mida. It's a it's an it's ingrained into the bria into the creation of hashem. But I need to use it to hoard mitzvah. I need to channel that into collecting and collecting and getting more and more of what's important of getting another mitzvah another shekele another another $18 donation another kindness another smile to somebody else another time that if I made a mistake I apologized I need to collect those that's what I have in the world to come I need to collect those. Every time I do, every time I give a shackle, every time I I say an apology, I get a little bit closer, I get a little bit less selfish. And the bigger it is, the harder it is, the the I don't know if you've ever experienced it. I have. Go to somebody. You go to somebody who you really hurt somebody or you really wronged somebody and you get that back to the you get back to the justice. If you pay the person back the money you owe them, I came back to somebody who I was a little shady. Little shady, maybe $500. I I took for myself on a business deal. And I came back to the person and I said, "Look, I I wasn't clear if it was really shady or not. We could argue about it. We could discuss it. I could The person didn't even know about it. But I came back to him and I said, "Look, I feel like I owe you this money." What a relief. What a relief that is. We need to be the for ourselves. It's nice to have something outside of ourselves, especially again in our I'm going to come back to this a lot between ourselves and our fellow man. We got to have inside of ourselves. We have that voice. It niggles at us and says, "We'd rather avoid it. We'd rather not think about it." But we know where we've done wrong. We got to fix those things. We got to be our own. We got to be our own. Just like the null has inside of itself. It doesn't have anyone outside of itself to tell it what to do. How to how to have that zizus. How to collect those mitzvah. We got to have it inside of ourselves. We got to collect those mitzvah. We got to collect those corrections. We got to collect the apologies that we owe. We got to collect all of the money that we've taken illegitimately and give it back. We got to focus on that. The the ant didn't learn it from anybody. There's nothing outside of it pushing it to do it doesn't have that. First of all, we are appointing those outside of ourselves because we need that. We need that reminder outside of ourselves. But you have that you got to listen to them. And I'm adding you got to listen to that to the inside of yourself. That's what we learn from this. There's a place them in all of your gates. And there is also the gates of our hearts, the gates of our conscience that guide us that are our that voice of Hashem that's inside of us. We got to listen to it. I want to bless you and I ask you to bless me. should help us that we should indeed be able to fix the things that we've done wrong. Look for justice that we are doing just with others. Hashem should help us to do that. Hashem should help us to collect to collect to to get heaps and hordes of mitsus and of doing what's right and of giving up our own selves to others. Thank you so much for listening. Have a wonderful Shabas. This podcast was made possible through the gracious donations of listeners like you. For more podcasts like this, please visit www.ariegoldwag.com or search on iTunes Arig Goldwag. [Music]