Shmini - Quiet Love

you're listening to the weekly paraa podcast recorded with hashem's never- ending assistance in raish Israel 5775 2015 this week's para is Pari we are at the end of the pesak the Passover holiday and in the states shabas will still be and outside of Israel shabas will still be pesak Passover however in Israel the last day of Passover is Friday and so on chabas in Israel we will rep par shmini as side of Israel so par will be read next chabis being that I live here in Israel I'd like to share with you a thought about and I'd like to connect it to what we spoke about last week about Passover about PES the concept of M mavid the two different approaches to a relationship with Hashem and I'd like to give a little bit of a hez a little bit of an explanation something I feel like I didn't clarify completely and I'd like to do it within the context of part sh the par begins where the Torah tells us that it was the eth day Shi is the eighth the eth day of the Hamish the putting up of the Tabernacle and on that day whereas the previous seven days MOS Moses was involved in the Ava in actual service within the temple within the Mish the Tabernacle on the Eighth Day the responsibility for that aoda was transferred and became incumbent upon Aaron and his sons and they took over the Torah tells us of a great tragedy that occurred on that Eighth Day which was the first day of the true and proper functioning of the mishkon that first day n AIU the two sons of AR of Aon the high priest went into the according to different explanations exactly what they did and where they went they brought a a fire an a Zora a foreign fire into the Mish and the Tabernacle without being instructed to do that and as a result they lost their lives they were burned by a fire that came down from heaven and now in response to that it's very interesting we've spoken about the difference and approach between Aon between Aaron and between mosha Moses his approach to life and his approach to reality and I'd like to do that again and speak about that again and also draw a parallel between the way that they approach each of them approaches reality and the way that we spoke about mhia B David and mhi B and we'll see that there's indeed a similarity between these two different approaches now the Torah tells us this is in chapter 10 ver2 fire comes out from before God and it consumes them it's referring to the two sons of Aon they died in front of God verse three Moses says to Aaron who this is what God spoke and saides those who are close to me through them I shall become holy and in front of all of the nation I will become honored byon and Aon is silent so in the verse we see here that the response of these two greats was really Polar Opposites mosha immediately explains what happened says that God has a plan a reason for this and there was a Kem there was a sanctification of God's name that's occurring here that Moses is pointing out Moshe speaks but Aon is silent Aon doesn't say a word Aon is just completely quiet and and what's interesting here is that the the language the Torah uses V the word v means complete not just silence but non-movement byon no movement just to think back to the mind agel to the sin of the golden cath the response of mosha Moses storms down so to speak from the mountain he sees the Jew sitting he acts he throws down theis the stone tablets of the Ten Commandments he throws them down and they break what is aon's response to this sin iron's response is non-movement also he allows them in order to buy time he allows them he stands by so to speak yes he's involved in it but it's really a passive role mosha comes down he throws down the Ten Commandments and then he goes and he tells the sons of Levi to go and to actively search out those who were involved in the Sin and Destroy them kill them but Aon again stands by theid which means Victory it's actively enforcing causing people to do what's right taking action when necessary AR Aaron's Mida is H it's giving in it's stepping back back it's letting things be okay so to speak and if we could look at it also from another perspective the concept of n which is mosha it's on the right side and the right side corresponds to the male male is active six days of the week There's a concept of the six which again we'll see soon has to do with M MAV but the six days of the week is male it's the the sin of Adam causes man to have to work that's the Tik the rectification for that for the man's side so the man's side is the right side is the active side is Mos is n is taking action Aon is on the left side he's H he steps back he's quiet he's not actively involved he just stops no movement that's AR that's Aaron and if we think about MH mavid MH as we explained corresponds to the aspect of six corresponds to the male side corresponds to action doing things taking part in the world doing things to be to move forward the Messiah process to build Israel to build the Jewish people whatever it is taking action being involved in the relationship with Hashem as we saw last week DAV King David Yehuda Judah his forebear mhia b David his great great grandson the Messiah who comes from David their action is non-action it's also Yehuda isod just like Aaron is the language of Hod is which means to give in to step back to give up Yehuda also is from lashan hod that's in the middle of yehuda's name he's he gives up he admits he stops he's quiet non-movement now hold on to the idea of Aon and mosha for a little bit I want to come back to that soon but I want to focus for a moment on a point which I'd like to elaborate on a little bit that I don't feel like I explained enough previously in last week's para podcast that point is what happens what's the difference between MH MH David what happens when one is indeed in that relationship in the space of mhia David of Messiah who comes from David does that mean that a person gets to a place where he realizes that he can't do anything I can't really in my relationship with God I don't I'm not active at all is that what happens because God really does everything Hashem is involved in everything and I can't really earn It ultimately this immense reward that hasm wants to give me I can't possibly really do that it's all going to be a gift anyway so I'm just completely limiting myself and I'm not going to take any action at all is that true or is there some action that is taken but it's done in a different way it's done with a different mindset it's done with a more of a in the same way in the same K the same direction the same gisha the same approach as Aaron as Yehuda of H of stepping back and the idea here is that I'd like to explain that the second Choice here is the idea of mashia bavid the idea of Aon the approach what happens when a person realizes that you know in my relationship with God so there's certain things that I can do and I can't accomplish there are certain things that God has to do for me because I can't do them on my own at all but what happens then does that mean that I don't do anything does that mean that I completely stop action and the answer is that no it's not true it's like in a relationship between a man and a woman so between these two people a man and his wife let's say a man and his spouse or a woman and her spouse so these two people when they first begin their relationship there's activity there's excitement there's movement you know the the newness of the relationship the freshness of it you know you've met somebody that that you really enjoy being with you enjoy interacting with so it motivates a person but the motivation here in a certain sense the beginning of the relationship is selfish as I interact with this person I get what I want I feel good about about myself it's not so much focused on love it's not focused in the way that mhia as we spoke about last week where I'm I'm doing things out of love but rather it's focused on M MH type it's I'm doing things there's a judgment here in a certain sense I'm doing things because I'm going to get something I'm giving to you because I like to be with you and I want to be able to to you know as part of the courting process the courtship I want to be able to snag you so to speak I want to keep you as mine so that I can get what I enjoy getting from you that is the the first stage of the first phase of the relationship and generally speaking in the western world that's what they call love but that is the beginnings of love and that's the beginning stages of a relationship but that corresponds to M it's the activity that we do in our relationship with God so that in a certain sense we feel like if I do for God God will love me in other words in the beginning stages of my relationship with God it starts off also in the sense of I have to do stuff I have to do all these Mitzvah I have to do all these Commandments and if I do this then God will bestow upon me his benevolence and his grace and his goodness but the the H the continuation of the relationship there's a second stage and it must switch and that's the problem in in many relationships in in the western world today is that it continues to be what can I get out of the relationship or how can I squeeze out what I want from the relationship and so there's a switch that happens and if you look in the story of Yosef indeed there's a switch in his relationship with Hashem that occurs after all of his and after his challenges and difficulties because as long as we're staying in this mode of Judgment of doing things so that I can get of being in a relationship where I have to be active in order to earn someone's love let's say so as long as in that codependency so the relationship doesn't move forward in fact the relationship breaks down and gets destroyed now what's the second stage the second stage is V it's the quiet it's it's the love it's instead of doing things in in the relationship instead of doing these things for God because I want God to love me it becomes I'm doing these things for God because I love God because I want to give to God it's like I once explained in a podcast I once thought about it that you know when two people are truly doing things a person and his spouse or her spouse they're doing things truly not for what they can get in the relationship I'm doing it completely completely for my spouse and my spouse in the relationship is doing things completely completely for me so what happens is if if I'm not doing it for myself to get anything out of it so what happens I'm gone I'm doing it for you but but there's no you because you're completely doing everything for me of course this is an ideal this is not this is not something that we can obtain this is like perhaps after 50 years of marriage where a person has been working on this all their lives but ultimately ideally I give up I'm giving to you not I'm not being a door m here but I'm I'm truly giving from a place of strength to you not so I can get anything not so I can feel good about myself not so I can earn your love I'm truly giving because I love you and I want to give to you and then when you give to me in the same way so what happens is there's no me and there's no you and all that's left is the relationship is the higher aspect of it which which we could call God God is what's left that's the the aspect of Z if a man and a woman Merit so then the divine presence is there on shabas of P we read the book of shirim the song of songs that ultimate love song Because as we spoke about pesak is the holiday of love it's the holiday where we get into mhia David David is this idea of if you look at the letters of his name the letters are doid doid and our sages tell us that dalid the letter dalid is D which means extreme poverty has nothing of his own King David is like the moon he has no light of his own he just reflects the light of God he gives everything to God and so that's the concept of David is the concept of complete quietude just pure reflection pure love I'm doing this out of love why am I why am I fulfilling the Commandments in this stage MAV why am I doing the 613 Commandments I'm still involved in the Commandments the Commandments don't disappear they continue but no longer am I doing them in order to Curry favor with God to earn something to have a merit in order for this to be taken care of God will take care of my parosa my livelihood because I'm doing his will no that's gone that will happen Hashem will help me out he will give me parasa but not because I'm doing something for him because God wants to give to me just like now at this stage in the relationship in the second stage of the relationship I want to give to the other party completely for the other party because I'm I'm in love or even even more precisely because I and the other person have become one mosu and Aon H Moses and Aaron they witness a horrendous scene horrendous the first day of that kamish the the Tabernacle is being built they've spent so much they've invested so much and they come in there and the two sons of Aon die they die and Moser Renu is quick to speak which is the Mida of Moshe which is n which is activity which is the male side is completely silent completely silent the Torah expresses that in the word v the root of the word is and me Al you have it just like we saw in King David of complete poverty nothing of his own and the me which represents the womb the womb also is the space within a woman where a child develops the female aspect is what what is she what's her her role in creating this child her role is to carry the child the woman is the space that carries the child iron is someone who he has this female quality of D of quietude of nothing this here I am I have I I don't have anything to do I don't have anything to act upon I'm just here to carry we Face tragedy we Face difficult situations and we look at Aon and we look at Misha there are different people who have different ways of interacting of relating to their surroundings to the occurrences that occur within in their dalaras their surroundings and so there are people who resonate with mha when we see a tragedy so some people need to get up and do something we Mable something to to take something upon themselves in order to to rectify perhaps or to to to make it meaningful to themselves and there are some people who like Aon or they need quiet because they recognize that the tragedy is so holy yes what mosha said is true there's a sanctification here you know we look at a tragedy for me I look at a tragedy something of some a massive tragedy like a tragedy that occurred recently I don't really want to speak specifically but we can there are so many tragedies that occur that are so great beyond anything that we can fathom and so people try to explain them or say what the take-home is or say what we can do how can we remember those who passed away for me personally I say I can't say anything I don't understand this it's it's so holy it's so holy it's so deep it's like God why did you do this I can't I can't grasp I can't wrap my mind around it all I can do is be quiet I can respect it I can respect that I don't understand and that's AR and to me as I understand it's a deeper level it's a deeper level of of viewing this reality of viewing the tragedy it's it's a silence it's a love and it's it's it's the Mida of mhav M says there's a tragedy let's let's do something about it let's fix it let's fix ourselves let's think about it there Mash who says there's a tragedy and what's the response quiet and so but what was interesting and this is how I was thinking about it as I was I was thinking about this idea as I was reading the psim as I was contemplating this idea is that this is not just true when it comes to a tragedy that we encounter in life where someone loses their life or whatever it might be as we see in this pum here but it's also true in our lives we have personal tragedies or traumas that might occur at any time that can occur at any time and I'm speaking specifically about the idea of AA person does something an AA something that he perceives when a person does an AA that a person knows they shouldn't do a person realizes and feels and senses that there's a there's a burning there's a sensation of burning of of inside of the head and there's a sensation of guilt of Shame of sadness and so the the question is at what what's the approach there do I quickly Rectify it or am I silent and and I think that sometimes in the rectification of it in the action trying to fix it there's a lot of noise and that noise can exacerbate or create the possibility for more noise more negativity and more judgment and that's connected as we said previously to the concept of mhia is the Judgment trying to be good enough for God of trying to do of trying to be of trying to trying to trying to earn God's love or earn my own love for myself and then there's a deeper way of approaching it which is A's approach which is David's approach D when he's approached as we said last week when he's approached byi and he's told that he's done a sin with B BBA his response is very simple and straightforward I sinned that's it King Saul who corresponds to the aspect of MH and I don't have time at at this juncture to get into and explain that how exactly that works but he when he is involved with a sin this the prophet Samuel comes to him and says you've done this sin you're going to lose your malus and Sh responds and says I sined but come and be me honor me he keeps talking and talking and talking it's say he doesn't stop and focus on the thing that he's done wrong and and and and just be with that that's the difference in the approach of MH m but again in the approach of mhav yes there's quiet and yes there's an admission that I can't do it on my own and I need Hashem to to do it for me so to speak but at no time does it become that I don't have to do anything or I don't do anything other way around as I step back and I say I can't really do this the the power that comes into what I'm doing instead of me trying to do it to earn God love now I'm going to do it out of love pure love for God not so I can get anything back in return but because now I'm expressing what God wants to express in the world purely without my ego without trying to get something out of it without looking for Honor without looking to earn God's love Etc so the take home for me is specifically in the area of doing Mitzvah of fulfilling God's will in the world when I mess up the mess up for me becomes a lesson in humility it says I can't do this I have messed up I need God's help I will move forward from here instead of out of trying to earn God's love or out of Judgment of myself or anger I need to move forward from here with love with silence that anger that fire that's burning within me that fire that consumes the children of Aon that is threatening to consume me and so I need to work with the approach of Aon with the quietude and then move forward out of love I want to bless you please bless me back hasem should help us to be able to walk through life to approach life to approach the realities and the fires that God sends at us and they do come and they're inevitable to approach them with quiet with love with humility with the V of Aon thank you so much for listening have a wonderful shabas this podcast was made possible through the gracious donations of listeners like you for more podcasts like this please visit www.wag.com or search on iTunes Ari goldwag