Ki Sisa - Admitting our Mistakes

you're listening to the weekly partial podcast with hari goldwag recorded with hashem's never-ending assistance in rama bishop israel 57 81 2021. this week's parachute as part of ki sisa in our parasha hashem gives moshe rabino the luhos the tablets which contained upon them the sarasota rose the ten commandments as well says our chazal our sages tell us they also had the entire torah shivak sabha pad written on them miraculously hashem this is chapter 31 verse 18 hashem gave moshe rabbenu the luchos when he finished speaking to him on mount sinai lucas the two tablets excuse me the two tablets of the testimony lucho seven made of stone supervised by the kim written by the finger of god when shall be receives we know it goes on afterwards he breaks them because the jewish people are sinning with the sin of the golden calf i'd like to focus in on what the measure says in regards to this vegetain el maisha that hashem gave to moshe interestingly actually before i get to the madrid there's a beautiful rashi here hashem completed the verse says when he completed speaking to him it's missing a letter of it could be red kick like like his bride as a representative of the jewish people like hassan like a groom gives his bride a present shalom it was impossible for mushroom to learn the entire torah in such a small amount of time only 40 days and 40 nights moshe rabino was able to indeed learn everything but it was a gift it was a gift and that's what we're going to focus on in the measure she talks about the gift let's see i'm going to read to you two parts of the matrix two different things that are two separate ideas and yet i believe as so often we find in a major when we have two concepts placed next to each other we can deduce an explanation of one concept from the other we can see that there's a common thread between them the first concept says the magis is like this opponent we find that when hashem gave moshe rabbin the lucas the ten commandments so there was an aspect of a gift hashem was giving us something awesome something so sublime transcendent and this this same gift that hashem was giving to us also should cause us or did cause us a measure a modicum of embarrassment we'll see soon obviously the jewish people at that moment we're bowing down to the idol to the golden calf and hashem was giving them this awesome gift of a relationship with him so it should bring about an embarrassment and we need to think about as we read this what is the mattress trying to teach us what is it aiming at what is the message what is the teaching that the message wants us to take out we give charity we give from the money that we've earned to others to help the poor there's there's a certain embarrassment that we should have then um i'm not going to get so into this particular concept but he says that even when we bring our tsudaka we give myself it's it's really not us that's doing it it's really hashem it's really hashem who's commanded us to do it number one number two even the money that we've earned from where did we get it we didn't really get it from anywhere but hashem himself so we think that we have earned the money we'll see this soon inside we think that we've earned the money we're giving from our hard-earned money to meister to the to tsudaka to charity why because god said so so we feel like we're doing something let's not make that mistake says the manager we need to feel a certain motorcam of embarrassment even when we look at our actions we still should have embarrassment overnight generally speaking a person has a field he hires workers he always is called an rs is a sharecropper the sharecropper works the field does all the work the land owner splits with him equally the produce okay hashem is not that way the entire world is his he's not an equal partner we're not equal partners with god in this world and in the actions that we do in our accomplishments the entire world belongs to god everything in it shall i the land is god's shall like the fruits that it produces are his whom he's the one who brings down the rain who might free up talon he puts the dew in the mornings so that everything will grow but who is it called over everything grows because hashem causes it to grow the land belongs to them the fruits belong to him the whole the whole thing we put in a little bit of effort maybe we put the seeds out we pray for the rain but it's really minimally our our produce it's really minimally ours i don't even want you to split it with me i don't even want fifty percent i just want you to give ten percent to my sir one fiftieth should go to truma to the coin in hashem gives us credit hashem allows us to so to speak take the credit at us you know to a certain extent even though we haven't done it really you know he's really done it all and he lets us keep 90 and asks us just to give back 10 percent so when we come and we give our tadaka we think oh wow i'm so awesome so great look what i'm doing giving of my hard-earned money this is a major we need to feel a lot more contrite we need to feel a lot more humility when it comes to our money because it really belongs to hashem who gave us the kayakers who gave us the talent who gave us the kishrin the concept the idea the abilities who guided us there who brought us through every step now so there's a s everything really belongs to you hashem the sadaka that we do even belongs to you we just have embarrassment now let's take a look at what's what happened over here hashem is giving right hashem is giving the luche the series the ten commandments to the jewish people and what's happening at that very moment as the manager says i'm not gonna read it inside but at that very moment the jewish people are sinning with the golden calf as we said but still hashem gives mushroom gives it velona gives us a gift of this of the ten commandments and we have just embarrassment not only that us after this terrible sin they they were covering hashem they said yesterday come here to try they said about the golden calf castle that this is this is who took you out of egypt a fierce type what a denial of the good what an ingratitude and yet that morning the next morning hashem continued to cause the month to fall they got food every single morning didn't stop just because of their ingratitude not only that the measure says they actually took the mun and they were using it in their service of them of the ego of the golden calf you're so amazing you keep giving to us even despite our ingratitude you keep giving to us even as we sin against you you keep giving to us we should just be embarrassed by foreign we see clydesdales doing a terrible aveira and yet nevertheless they're able they are able to receive the luchas are broken hashem is ready to give them if not for the fact that mushroom would break them the mice in the end the jewish people do another 120 i'm sorry another 80 days later they do receive the lucas when it goes back up ask for their forgiveness etc what is the idea i want what i want to understand is okay the mentors is just saying you know we should feel guilty is that what the mentors just saying i ask another question i would ask why is it indeed that at the very moment that hashem is giving us this awesome sublime gift of the lucas of the of the of the asera sadibris the ten commandments why are we sinning what's going on like why did it work out that way nothing happens obviously we have we have free will we have a choice but nothing happens without hashem setting things up that way you know what shall benin says we dissolve that christopher's sin because of the goal that you gave him they left him it's rhyme but it was a setup in a certain sense but sherbano didn't come back they were afraid maybe who knows what happened to him they were shown a terrible vision that he was dead why was it set up this way why was it set up this way what is the message coming to teach us what does it mean we're supposed to be of course we're supposed to be embarrassed when we've done something wrong of course you're supposed to be embarrassed that hashem is doing good for us and we don't deserve it where are we having gratitude what is the magic coming to teach us okay that's the first piece of the madrish and i want to share with you the second piece of the madrish it's a little bit shorter but i believe that within this piece of the mesh it contains profound lesson and it explains the first section it says in michele that when a person gives a gift it expands him it's counterintuitive if i give away something so i should lose there's a spiritual principle when i give away i get when i give away it expands me i'm going to try to understand why that is where do we see this mice about ma'a there's a story with avon rama it doesn't quote the entire story here it's in another place in uh in the mediterranea the story with avun rama is that he he was a particular very wealthy individual he was called a voon that was his name rama the trickster he wasn't really a bad person he was a good person why would he see a trickster because what he would do is there's two opinions and the more fortunate there in the major exactly what he did but he would do a trick in order that people should give to dhaka one understanding is that he they would be in the shul they would be all saying how much money they're going to give to the tsudaka to charity and he wouldn't say anything and they would think oh he's not giving anything we better fill it up we'd better make sure that the tsudaka receives what it needs and then at the very end he would give the amount that all together everyone else gave so he would do a trick in order that more sadaka would be given but of course in the end he had a seductive another explanation was that everybody knew that he was going to give ken negative what everybody gave it was matching this is from do you think matching is a new thing cause match it's not a new thing avon rama that's what he would do he was everyone knew he's gonna give corresponding to what everyone else gave so they would they would push themselves extra to give because they knew that this rich person rama was going to give at the end what happened his matana his giving he's giving in this unusual way the result of a person giving of himself giving a gift is that he shall be guided in front of great people so the great people of his of his town they sat him up there in the front with all of it sadiq he was a regular person still he got an amazing honor that he had rights he had won this war between the four and five kings he had won the war brought back all the shalal all of the booty all the people king of saddam says to him give me the people keep the booty he says i'm not taking anything he gave away he gave away i'm not even going to take us you guys said i'm not going to take anything not a string i'm not going to take a string i'm not going to take a shoe lace nothing a shoe strap hashem promises him that because he gave that away because of his giving away hashem hashem praises his children uses the word string in the praise of the children the jewish people are praised by hashem because of them coming up in the in the shoes these shoes because of the shoe strap when a person gives they think they're giving what they're really getting last i'm sorry the jewish people gave away they gave away they get brought more and more things to the mishkan what happened in the end ma zahu the heart so there was a giving and a giving what did they receive they gathered an expansion what was their expansion the jewish people's borders are going to be expanded rt israel is going to be much larger when the shia comes when the messiah rhymes will be expanded beyond the current borders and it's close to the fact that we gave and gave and gave to the michigan imam what is the message teaching us and how does it connect to the giving there's a giving here right we're talking about giving the giving of the luchas hashem gave the lucas to call israel the teaching here i believe the understanding the depth of this teaching is that we think there's a certain way to receive there's a certain way to expand do certain things work work hard work a certain amount of time do a certain amount of stateless and you're going to get you know naturally the message here tells us that there's a spiritual principle that's the opposite it's the opposite of what you would think when you give away when you give to dhaka when you give charity when you give of yourself to somebody else you become greater you become expanded and what's the word what's the idea i think it's very deep let me actually say hashem says my thoughts are not your thoughts my ways are not your ways in hashem's reality it's the opposite of all the things that we think in hashem's world view if a person wants to resonate with spiritual matters to resonate with hashem just the opposite of what it would seem when i give away hashem is completely a giver right hashem is completely a giver he doesn't need anything hashem is giving us commandments not because he needs us to follow the commandments he's giving it for us because we become greater when we follow his commandments hashem also says i'm a giver this whole world i don't need the world there's nothing that you're going to give me there's no honor that you can give me there's no mistress that you can give me i want i'm doing this for you i want to give to you i want you to become like me i want you also to be a giver i want you also to to step out of the selfishness and the and the constriction which is what constitutes the human experience the natural human experience the terror offers us that we can be beyond that how when we give when we give to somebody else we are squishing our own egos we are limiting our own selves we're saying that there's something else besides for us the more that we do that the more we are aligned with a higher spiritual realm and that's a real hard that's a real expansion because hashem is the ultimate expansion when we get into that place we get into a world of expansion we get into artsy sorel which is expanded it's not just the physical borders it contains much more contains much more than we see it's a spiritual principle you know i i want to come back now to the first major the first measure said that claudia's throat was sinning and there was a tremendous business opponent where we should be embarrassed we should be embarrassed because hashem is giving us the money he's giving us our sustenance he's giving us the lucha is habris he's giving us everything he even gives us the opportunity to make money and make it feel like we're doing it even though he's doing everything it's all him we should be embarrassed what does that mean but i think it's the same exact concept to the t when i give away my money i get an expansion when i've done something wrong when i'm embarrassed about the thing that i have done wrong it's the tikkun right when i've done something wrong when i've done aloe vera me me it's about me where's the leader where's our leader maisha we need we need something to lead us it's about me i'm afraid it's my fear it's about me i'm the one who made all the money i decided how much stuck it to give it's me what do you mean the food is here the money is here i could do whatever i want with it i shouldn't give it to me already i can do whatever i want with it it's very very selfish it's very very constricted velar masha's upon it means that even when i've been constricted i can escape from the constriction through embarrassment what does basis mean bushes means i recognize the truth right there's humility and there's humiliation humility is where i act incontinence with what i know to be true humiliation is where i've been caught by the truth that's what bushes says i'm humiliated but in that humiliation what do i do with it i've done something wrong i've done an aveira what now business do i have bushes i'm not i'm not talking about the kind of embarrassment that i feel and oh i'm so terrible and now i'm going to do worse i'm talking about real contrition a real sense that i've done something wrong and i recognize lo matimili it wasn't appropriate for me that act was wrong i'm embarrassed i acknowledge the truth [Music] what happens in the acknowledgment of the truth even as i've done wrong is the same kind of expansion the same kind of expansion i can get there in two different ways really there are other ways to get there too but i can get there as the magisk is teaching us in two different ways one way is by giving to dhaka giving charity giving a gift not taking anything for myself the other way is when i've taken for myself admitting that i've done wrong having gracious being embarrassed recognizing oh my gosh hashem gives me everything how could i how could i be ungrateful how could i be ungrateful hashem gives to lucas for shyness at the same moment as claude israel is sinning because he wants us to know that even when we've done something wrong there is still an opportunity with anything that we've done wrong for contrition to to use that mistake to climb up shove it sadiq that sadiq falls seven times but he gets up eight times he gets up every time he falls he gets up again and again he always gets up he's contri he recognizes that the thing he's done wrong was wrong he has voices he's embarrassed he's vicious bushes means embarrassment it's the same letters as shafter you returned if you're embarrassed you can return if you're embarrassed you're in the place of expansion i want to bless you and ask you to bless me hashem should help us that we should be able to recognize and utilize these two tools giving out giving sadaq giving charity giving gifts experiencing expansion through our what seems to be what seems to be a constriction taking away from ourselves really no entering into that place of spirituality hashem should help us to recognize that if we've done something wrong it's an opportunity it's an opportunity for us to recognize it and be humble be embarrassed feel embarrassment and recognize that it's all him all the good things that we have are really from him thank you so much for listening have a wonderful show miss this podcast was made possible through the gracious donations of listeners like you for more podcasts like this please visit www.ariegoldwag.com or search on itunes ahri goldwag