Ari Goldwag - Ki Seitze - Honest Accounting

you're listening to the weekly partial podcast recorded with hashem's neverending assistance in ramaphism israel 57 76 2016. this week's parachute is pasha's kisetse the topic for this week's partial podcast is the concept of assessing honestly are negative character traits and this is a very delicate subject i don't usually introduce the subject of the podcast at the very beginning but the reason i'm doing it is because it's so delicate and so fine important to be spoken about important to address and but it's also something which is a touchy subject it's very challenging and it's difficult for us to look at ourselves honestly to assess the places where we need to improve ourselves so i want to go in with our eyes open i want to talk about this topic i want to read to you from hidration which are challenging at first to read especially in our world we are raised brought up in the western society to believe that in order to help people we have to be nice to them soft to them never really speak about the negatives never really face those things head on but that's not the way of hazal that's not the way of our sages that's not the way the torah the torah's path is to look at things to be honest about things to face them head on to try to improve to try to change that's why we're in this time right now we're in the time of elo we're leading up in just a few weeks to rosh hashanah it's a time that we recommit to our relationship with hashem god is our king yes god is our father he's our loving father but he's also our king we have to be his faithful servants we have to do his will and it's not so easy it's not so easy to be honest where we're doing things right we're not doing things right where we need improvement it's not so easy to look at ourselves so just with that introduction it's important to understand we're going to try to take things everything that we're going to speak about to be very careful be very sensitive and yet at the same time i know that there's going to be things that we're going to speak about that are going to be difficult to hear so i've given you the warning and i hope that you stay with me it's worth listening through till the end i assure you the verse tells us an amazing thing chapter 24 verses 8 and 9 tells us something which again to our ears is difficult to hear torah tells us be extremely careful when it comes to the affliction of saras this special spiritual leprosy be very careful watch it very well and do what you're supposed to do everything that the priests the levites instruct you kashir tsivisim as i have commanded them allah says you shall do that's verse number 1 which is verse 2 chapter 24 verse 8 verse 9 zachary sasha garden joins us to remember that which god did to miriam mahanavi the prophetess miriami was the sister of moses of aaron she was the leader of the time she was one of the greatest leaders of all time she had done a sin she had spoken negatively about moshe rabino she had spoken la shanhara and as a result she became afflicted with leprosy she got the spiritual leprosy which comes when when one speaks but says remember that this occurred as you left egypt now as we read this as we study this verse the first thing that strikes me the first question that comes across is hey this is something negative that miriam did she spoke about moshe rabin about moses and as a result she received leprosy but why do we have to focus on the fact that she did this just tell us the you know tell us what we should do why do we have to focus on the fact that miriam did it and the miriam was punished and the jewish people had to wait for miriam for seven days for a week while she recovered from that sickness why do we have to focus on the negative of the sadiq of the righteous individual why is the torah teaching it to us in this way what's the significance of it before we answer this question i want to show you a majorish and then measures as we read it the same question is going to come up very difficult to understand and but it's important that we read it we face off with it because it's a challenging majorish but if we understand what's going on what the message is coming to teach us there's a very deep and important lesson especially for now as we go into this time of personal growth as we go into this time of honest assessment of ourselves the message says like this it quotes the verse back spoke negatively of her brother spoke negatively of moshe albino of moses when god came he wanted to create the woman he wanted to create eve so he was going to take a piece of adam he's going to build eve so to speak from one of the parts of the body of adam the first man so god was thinking as it were from which part of adam's body should i build the verse refers to the fact that god built eve out of a certain part of the body of adam ezio explains vaiven the word which means to build also means the same root of the word beena which means intuition god was thinking using his intuition as it were of course trying to figure out which is the right part of the body for for hava to be created from um god said i don't want her to be made from the eye of man she like rama if the essence of who the woman is going to be is from the i so then heaven forbid it could come out that she will have a haughty eye she'll be somebody who thinks of herself too greatly more than she should but let me know hezen hashem said i don't want to create her from the ear of man shalom tanis i don't want her to be someone who her whole essence is listening in a place where it's not appropriate for her to listen being nosey i don't want to create i don't want to create eve from the mouth of adam because if that's where she's created from she'll be someone who speaks too much i don't want to use the hand of adam of adam because if i use the hand to create her so then she might use her hand in an inappropriate way she'll she might steal something regal i don't want to create eve from the foot of the uh of adam shalatee pardenisa she shouldn't be someone who walks out too much and and goes in places she shouldn't go so god says which part of adam should i use to create her min i'm going to use a part of the body which is modest which is hidden which people don't see minhyer from the thigh and the mesh doesn't say this explicitly but it seems that hashem wanted that the woman should be something her essence should be the root of who she is should be modesty she should be someone who is modest not egotistical not being seen in places which are inappropriate not trying to cross out of the boundaries where she shouldn't belong but rather everything is done in a tsunua way in a modest way and the majority says an amazing thing even though this is what hashem did this is the thought process as it were that god went through in creating eve it didn't help at all is an amazing thing very difficult to understand that all of the things that hashem didn't want to happen did happen and not only that they happened specifically in some of the greatest women of all time the greatest siddiques is the most righteous woman of all time america this that god said lo every summer i don't want to create eve from the eye of adam because i don't want her to have a haughty eye chavax it says about eve herself but that she saw with her eye she looked and she viewed something which was forbidden to her and she felt that it was appropriate that she had it she looked with a hearty eye so hashem said i don't want her her to have a hearty eye but she did ever i summoned her to hate sabtanies shem said i don't want to create her from the ear of man why because i don't want her to be somebody who sticks her ears so to speak in places where she shouldn't who who's nosy and listens to things that she shouldn't be listening to but the verse tells us about sorry menu sarah the matriarch of kali israel that when the angels came to speak to abraham to tell him the news what's going to happen in a year sarah was listening she was eavesdropping almost so she was indeed doing that which hashem didn't wish every s also said i don't want to use the hand of man to create eve why because i don't want her to end up stealing what do we find it says about rakhili menu also one of the matriarchs of claudia israel but tigner rachel she stole the idols of her father laban lay ever always some in her regular should later hate pardonis god said i don't want to create her from the foot of adam i don't want her to be somebody who walks in places that are inappropriate sibba but about leia also the matriarch of the jewish people the mother of yehuda the mother the great grandmother of meshiach of the messiah what does it say about her about la crosse that she went out leia went out to to walk to the place that was inappropriate for her to go she went out of her place she was out of place so it teaches us again that we see the greatest sadegas of all time one of the greatest zodiacasses of all time a great righteous woman leia she indeed went against the will of hashem so to speak every says that god didn't want to create eve from the mouth of adam why because he didn't want her to be somebody who speaks inappropriately out of place um and about miriam the great righteous woman measure describes her as it zadekes unbelievable righteous person but she spoke out of turn she spoke out of place she spoke negatively about moshe rabbenu so we read this measure darshani the manager just begs the question what's going on what's the idea why is the medusa talking negatively about these great sadekis these great righteous individuals what is it teaching us why indeed if if all of these things are exactly the things hashem didn't want that he didn't want these negative traits these negative character traits to be a part of the makeup of the human being and yet all of these great righteous women they did all of these things these very things hashem didn't want what is the message teaching us what's the chat what is the understanding of what's going on here so again before we answer these questions i want to share with you one more madrish magish is beautiful unbelievable beautiful madrish it tells us like this this is in two pieces later measure says another explanation of the fact that we need to remember what happened to miriam kevin sharon tells us that when moses saw that which had happened to his sister he skilled severe misfollowed he started to cry out to pray on her behalf with all of his heart and soul kel na rafanola god please cure her please he said it with this great intent with this great sincerity now the measure tells us something very interesting this is there's an analogy here what's this analogous to the gibberish a very mighty person who had chains on his on his neck he had chains on his shoulders but he was able to break out of the chains he was so strong not long afterwards he saw that the government had placed those very same chains upon the neck of somebody else killed survivor he started to call out and cry what are you crying about what's your what are you getting all upset about him yet he's like you don't know nelson i know how painful it is i know how difficult it is to be in those chains how how hard it is how painful it is i had those very chains on me vanilla i know how much pain he's in so i am crying out in pain for him i see the pain that he is in so i am also feeling his pain amazing thing in the same way moshe robin of moses was crying out he was upset he he felt horrible for his sister miriam god system what are you so upset about why are you crying out so much why are you in such a sorry state i'm in the front of rabbani shalom so moses says to the master of the world to god i need i know what the what kind of pain she's in i understand it i remember the chain that my hand was in me how do we know as the verse says in exodus chapter four verse six vineyard moses also spoke negatively moshe spoke negatively about klaus about the jewish people he said that they won't listen they won't believe they want they don't want to be or perhaps they don't have as close they don't have a merit to be redeemed as a result of that hashem gave him as well he had leprosy on his hand he pulled out his hand one of the signs was his hands his hand was full of leprosy puts it puts it back in it disappears but he knew what it was to receive leprosy as a result of speaking negatively he had experienced it himself he knew the pain he knew the shame he knew the embarrassment of having spoken about someone else and receiving leprosy as a result so he called out he cried on behalf of miriam with an incredibly sincere prayer mission finished finishes often says that since moses prayed on her behalf repay sakura god cured her meenain how do we know this is true because the verse says in numbers chapter 12 verse the nation did not continue to travel until miriam had been completely cured so we see that she was completely cured and the medicine is telling us it was a result of the prayer the heartfelt prayer of moshe of benue who knew what it was like and therefore he prayed on her behalf the message tells us therefore remember what happened to me as a result of her speaking lashing hara so the message is remarkable because in a certain sense it's incriminating moshe of anu it's showing us that moses also had done this very same sin he had spoken negatively about claudius he had also received saras he had also gone through this challenging situation the shame the embarrassment the torah tells us all about it again what's the understanding why are we learning this from the greatest of all people from moshe rabbenu from miriam from all these great righteous individuals of the past and what is the message also specifically of this madrish in telling us that moshe his prayer his heartfelt prayer was answered as a result of the fact that he himself had experienced exactly what she experienced and prayed on her behalf with a true deep prayer so when i read these midrashim and i was faced with these questions i didn't have a clear answer i didn't have a clear thought to resolve the issues that i brought up that have you know that we've spoken about but then i saw rashi on the pussic itself and the rashi was so clear so incisive that it became clear to me that that was the shot that was the underlying theme of everything that's going on in this in this majestic verse says in the first passage the verse before we even speak about miriam just as he should be very careful when it comes to the negative when it comes to the leprosy be careful watch out do exactly what the kohana with the priests say whatever i commanded them that's what you must be careful to do rashi says what's this being careful about what are you being careful about amazing thing a person looks at his skin he sees that there's a white leprosy that's on his skin he sees it and he's oh no what do i do i have to show it to the client maybe i can get rid of it maybe i can push it away maybe i can cut off the skin or something so that this this saras will be will disappear rashi tells us rasheed says don't do it the passage is telling you be so careful do not look at the baharis do not look at this leprosy as something disgusting do not try to remove it don't start up don't mess with it just leave it as it is and bring it to the cone bring it to the priest who's going to tell you exactly what to do exactly how to deal with it what is the puzzle coming to tell me what why is it telling me this why can't i touch it why can't i do anything to it why can't i try to remove it you know just get rid of it the pasuk and rashi they are telling us something amazing just so deep so beautiful and that is that when i look at my skin a person looks at their skin and they see that there's leprosy there it's not just a simple you know leprosy like we have today a person who has some kind of sickness it's a spiritual sickness as we said at the very beginning it's something which reflects on a physical level something that's wrong with the person on a spiritual level he has a stain on his soul as a result of the stain on his soul it's manifesting on a physical level on his skin the torah is telling us don't remove what's on the skin because you're just getting rid of the symptom and you're not getting rid of the root problem if you look at this and you leave it and you bring it to the priest you bring it to the client who's the spiritual person he's not just a doctor he's the spiritual doctor he knows what the problem is on a spiritual level he's going to give you direction on a spiritual level how to get rid of the spiritual problem don't look at it superficially don't look at it as a physical issue it's not just the physical issue every physical issue the torah is telling us is a manifestation of a spiritual problem most specifically by tzaras it's a manifestation of something that i've done wrong on a spiritual level and if i want to truly fix my spiritual problems i need to look at the problem i can't ignore the problem and i need to be willing to look at it even though it's painful even though it's something which you know i look at it and it's disgusting to me rashi says don't look at it and look at it as something disgusting it's not disgusting it's not ugly it's just something that's there it's something that needs to be fixed it's something that needs to be looked at corrected properly gone back to the root taken care of uprooted at the root not just superficially but if you just remove it superficially and you think that you've taken care of it you're making a big mistake the torah is telling us don't make that mistake and i think that it's not a coincidence that the torah is teaching us this in the context of mira manavia one of the greatest people of all time the greatest leaders of the jewish people the greatest prophetesses of all time miriam the sister of moshe the sister of aaron specifically her look she also she also made this mistake she also spoke out of turn but she didn't just ignore it she didn't allow herself to to to just cut it off she didn't remove it she didn't get upset at it she didn't find it disgusting she was honest about it she took it she dealt with it she did what bana said you have to go you have to be hidden away for a week you have to wait until that spiritual illness is healed if a great person like her could admit that she's done something wrong and not find it repulsive certainly i regular person regular human being can look at the things that i've done wrong just look at them as they are without finding them repulsive but rather recognize that there's something wrong something i've done needs to be fixed on a spiritual level and that's what dementia she's doing going through each of these great people eve the first human being the first woman that ever existed she also had something negative and it created a great sin a great sin resulted from it but still we look at that and we say if she could do that and she could also do chuva she could also repent if rocco could do a certain thing she could also do this thing leia could do this thing these great individuals the greatest people of all time the greatest women of all time had these negative traits that's human that's the human condition even these great people could do that type of thing and yet they could look at it and we can look at it and we don't have to look at it as if now because they've done something wrong now they're the most horrible person ever no all the way around even the greatest people make mistakes and if we can be honest and say look the greatest people make mistakes and they don't let it destroy them we can also look at ourselves and say that we make mistakes it doesn't have to destroy us but we do need to look at it and we do need to be honest about it and we do need to look for what is the spiritual solution for it and i think it's just remarkable so beautiful that even moshe rabbenu looking at his sister moses looks at her and says she's done the sin i also did the sin i know what it's like i i remember it happened to me too i also experienced that shame and i'm gonna cry and i'm gonna ask god to forgive her i'm gonna ask god to heal her of her spiritual sickness and i think that the measure in telling us that this is where we see that we need to remember what happened to miriam it's telling us that it's not just that we need to see what happened to miriam but we need to see also what happened through moshe rabbenu the way that moses approached it and now he recalled the things that he had done wrong it's easy to look at someone else and say oh look they've done something wrong i'm going to remember that i also did the same thing and that's going to help me pray on their behalf that's a great hadith it's an amazing novelty that's what shall be teaches us and if i can admit that the thing that i see in someone else is the same thing that i have wrong if i can admit even the greatest person has done this sin and i can recognize that i have this inside of myself that is what the torah is trying to teach us that is what the message is for now we come we you know it's only a few weeks until shashanim kippur it's only a few weeks until we have to face off with ourselves face off with the reality of how much we have brought hashem to be our king in the world how much is hashem how have we how much have we truly been servants of hashem servant to our true ideals of who we believe we're supposed to be and that honesty the the sukim are telling us the message is telling us that honesty is possible only if we can look at it and not be disgusted by it and not try to rip it out but rather look at it honestly go to people who are spiritual and ask for their advice how does one uproot the spiritual malady that i have how do i get rid of the spiritual problems the spiritual destruction that i have caused how can i uproot it at added source how can i truly do juva how can i truly repent torah is enjoining us to remember that which hashem did to miriam and also that which the what was the process for her purification how is the spiritual sickness removed what method and the answer is by looking at it honestly not being shy not shying away not being afraid of it looking at it honestly and admitting it seeing that this is something that even the greatest of them has hashem should help us that we should be said we should merit to be able to admit our faults to admit the places that we've done wrong both in our relationship with hashem and in our relationships with others if i can come to somebody else and admit to them that i've done wrong and i'm committed to changing what an amazing spiritual experience that is what an amazing spiritual effect it has on my life and on all of my relationships should help us to be able to admit those faults to admit the places that we need to change that we need to to go back to the roots and try to understand how we can become greater people thank you so much for listening have a wonderful week and wonderful shabbos this podcast was made possible through the gracious donations of listeners like you for more podcasts like this please visit www.ariegoldwag.com or search on itunes ahri goldwag