Emor - Gratitude for our Lot

You're listening to the weekly partial podcast with Ari Goldwag, recorded with Hashem's never-ending assistance in a rubbish in 2019. This week's parsha in Chutz L'Aretz is parshas Emor. And in Eretz Yisrael, we've got Behar. I'm going to speak about Emor. I like to share with you this thought from the end of the parsha. And it's a beautiful idea which I came across this week while studying Madreigas Adam, the Alter of Novardok. The possuk tells us Vayeitzei ben Isha Yisraelis u'ven Ish Mitzri. The Torah tells us the story of the Mekallel, the person who cursed Hashem, chas v'shalom. And so he went out, this this man, the son of a Israelite woman went out. And he was the son of an Ish Mitzri. He was the son of an Egyptian man, okay? So his mother was was Jewish, his father was Egyptian. Toch benei Yisrael, he went out amongst the people of Israel, the children of Israel. Vayeinatzzu ba'machaneh benei Yisraelis. Yish v'ish Yisraeli. So there was a there was a conflict of some sort, which the verses don't specify exactly what it was. Vayikov ben Isha Yisraelis es Hashem vayekallel. He took God's name, and he cursed. Vayavi'uhu el Moshe. And they brought him to Moshe. U'shem imo Shelomis bas Divri l'mateh Dan. His mother's name was Shelomis bas Divri. And she was a member of the tribe of Dan. But his father was an Egyptian. Vayeni'chenu mishmar k'dei she'yishalu es Hashem ki fi Hashem ki kilel. Because he had used God's name to curse, and our sages say that he actually cursed God. So in the end the Torah tells us that he had to be killed because of this terrible terrible thing that he had done. Now, what was the story exactly? What happened? What was what was he all upset about? So Rashi gives us some information. First thing that he tells us is that this person, this man, was somebody who uh his father, who was this Egyptian, it was the same man that when Moshe Rabbeinu came out, he saw the Egyptian striking a Jew, so he killed the Egyptian. This was the father of this young of this person who had come out and cursed. That's information number one. The second point of information which we receive from Rashi is that what was the issue exactly? What was the fight about? What was Why did he curse? So, the answer that Rashi gives is that what had happened was his mother was from the Shevet Dan, was from the tribe of Dan. But, since his father was not Jewish, so the way that it works is like this. When it comes to a person's Jewish identity, so the halakha is Jewish law states that of course some uh Jewish man is only allowed to marry a Jewish woman, and a Jewish woman is only allowed to marry a Jewish man. If for some reason somehow it occurred heaven forbid that a Jewish uh man married a non-Jewish woman or the opposite, so then if the mother is Jewish, the child is Jewish. And in this case, so the mother was Jewish, but when it comes to a person's tribe, when it comes to the identity, the place of the of the person in Klal Yisrael, it goes by the father's side, the mishpakha is avisa avisa. That's the general principle. So now, if a person has a non-Jewish father, so he doesn't have a tribal connection. Even if the mother is, let's say, the daughter of a kohen or the daughter of a Levite, so that child will not have the status of a kohen or a Levi, it goes by the father, so he just has no tribal status. That's the that's the halakha. What happened with the Mekallel? So, he came in and he said, "Look, I my mother is from the tribe of Dan. My mother has a yichus. My mother has a familial line. I want to I want to place my tent amongst the people of Dan. This is where I want to place myself. Now, there was a Jew who saw him doing this, meaning a someone whose father was from the tribe of Dan, and said you can't place your tent here. You need to place your tent outside of the Machane, outside of the encampment. It's very interesting because to the modern ear, this might sound like something that's not politically correct. However, what we see here is an amazing thing. First point. We see that I'm I'm sorry, before we get to what we see, the result was because of this fight, so the the man who had no Jewish father ends up cursing with the name of Hashem. And he ends up being killed. Now, what's the what was the what's the concept here? What's the idea? What's the lesson here of this story? So, first of all, we see number one, we see that that every person has a place. Every person has a place and it's defined interestingly by the father's side. It's defined by the tribe. Every person has a certain purpose within the Jewish people. We've spoken about this in the past. And it is often ascribed to or or it's defined by the tribe that a person is in. Right, each tribe had its own flag. The flag denoted the special quality of that tribe. So, if a person wants to place his tent both literally and and you know, figuratively in a certain location, that means that he is he connects to a certain purpose. But, the person has to re- be aware that in order to be connected to that purpose, to be connected to that tribe, they actually have to have that connection. They have to be honest and real. So, when when this person who didn't have that tribal connection tried to place himself amongst the tribe of Dan, even though his mother was from Dan, but it doesn't go by the mother, it goes by the father. Okay? So, he made a mistake. He had to place himself outside with other people, let's say the the the other you know, people who were gerim, who had become part of Klal Yisrael, it doesn't mean that they don't have a place, they do have a place. But, their place is not within the tribal uh the specific particular tribes of the Jewish people. They have their own place, they have a significant place, of course. Torah says that we are to honor the ger. We have to 24 times the Torah says that we have to be careful with the feelings of a ger. We were gerim, we were strangers as well in Egypt. Right? But, l'maaseh, the place of each person there's a particular specific place for each person, physically and spiritually. And what we see over here is that when someone tries to enter a place where he doesn't belong, right? When when someone tries to enter into a place that he doesn't belong, so then the result is a dangerous one. They could end up coming to curse Hashem. They could end up having to be killed as a result. Now, this is this is the story of the of the Torah, but I think that it's true to a great extent for each and every one of us. And we need to understand it's so important to understand that that it's possible and and it happens to us often that we could believe that we're supposed to be in a different place than we are. We fight with Hashem, as it were, over what's going on in our lives, whether it's what's going on with our spouses, with our children, with our communities, with our level of honor, with the amount of money that we make, all of these different things. So, we also fight with God, as it were. We get upset at God when it comes to these issues as well in our personal lives, of feeling or sensing that uh perhaps it's not fair what God is doing to us. Perhaps the place that we have in the world is not where we're supposed to be. Hey, why is God doing this to me? How come I can't plant my tent in in the Why did he curse at God? Why didn't he get upset at the guy who was doing that that was saying to him, "You can't be here?" Because there was something true about it. There was something uh objectively true about the fact that he couldn't be in that location. So, he cursed that guy because he was angry at his lot in life. That's the higher that's the pshat. That's the even the simple understanding of what's going on here. And you know, reading this we can think and take to heart about how it applies to each and every one of ourselves, this issue, and how we can deal with this issue. And I came across this week an amazing piece as I mentioned from the Madregas Adam from the Alter of Novardok. I want to share with you because it's very beautiful, very powerful. Okay? He is talking about the story of Yosef Hatzadik. And he says an amazing insight into the story with the brothers. And he says an amazing insight which helps each and every one of us can help each and every one of of us come to terms with the reality because we would all wish, myself included, that we should we should have this thing. We should have that thing. We should Right? Things should be more the way we would like it to be. Especially when we see others who are who are perhaps more successful than us. You know, it sparks within us a desire for something that we don't have. How is a person able letmaded to come to terms with the reality of a person's situation and and the fact that Hashem hasn't made him exactly God hasn't done my will, right? I'm trying I'm striving to do God's will, but God hasn't seemed to do my will, right? So, how does a person come to terms with that? So, he points out something amazing. I'd like to read this inside. This is in chapter Darkei Chaim. This is at the end of the fifth chapter of Darkei Chaim in Madregas Adam. Meishavum Mitzrayim va'ad sheshamu mipiv ani Yosef. From the time that the brothers came to Egypt until the moment that they heard from Yosef, they didn't know all of the whole the entire story. They were not aware that they were standing in front of their brother Yosef. Until the moment that they heard the words, "I am Yosef." They had numerous questions about the way that this this Egyptian ruler was dealing with them. First of all, they didn't understand all of the confusing things that were going on. Yeah, all of them actually so many people came, they knew this. Many people came and weren't accused of being spies. Only they were being accused of being spies. Second of all, this Egyptian ruler asks them to bring Benjamin. It comes out your question of him and was so strange to them. What does he need this the the other brother for? What does he want from this? Third of all, they should have known When they found that golden goblet in the bag of Benjamin, they got they they they were they were extremely afraid. They didn't know how to judge the entire situation. And the questions kept coming until they heard two words, "I am Yosef." The moment that he revealed to them that this was that it was Yosef talking to them, so called questions All the questions were gone retroactively. All of the all of the um All of the all of their suspicions melted like snow. And immediately they understood that the entire the entire story, all that Yosef had done to them was for their benefit. And as he explains, what was the benefit? Because Joseph knew that no matter what, Benjamin was going to have to bow down to them. It was going to It would have It would have extended much further if Joseph had hadn't hastened the story by doing all these tricks in order to bring down Benjamin. The thing would have taken much longer if it had happened on its own. So, that's why he explains it was for their benefit. Okay? So, what do we see from here? An amazing thing. And this comes back to the point that we were speaking about. A person can complain about many things. He could say that, "Look, everything that's happening to me is terrible." God is trying to to to to upset me. He's doing things to bother me. Right? When we look at the story of Joseph, we see his intent was not to bother them. His intent was not to hurt them. His intent was to to to move the story faster. His intent was perhaps to bring them a tikkun, to bring them a rectification through it. That they should stand up for the one of the sons of of Rachel Imeinu. Whatever the understanding of it is. But it's the exact opposite of what the person thinks. The person experiences all the troubles in his life. And he thinks, "Say, I'm not getting what I want. I'm not as rich as I want to be. I don't have the kind of car I want. I don't have this. I don't have that." Hashem just wants to bother me. Hashem is is out to get me. Has v'shalom, heaven forbid. But it's mamesh the exact opposite. Says the Alter of Novardok, we we have to be careful not to judge things the way that the things seem. Because all we see is the present. We just see this moment. We can't connect the past and the future. We don't know how it's going to be. We don't understand our place. We don't understand our purpose in life. Think about the the Makol, right? Is it his fault that his father was Egyptian? That he didn't have a Yachas, he didn't have a connection to a particular tribe? It's not his fault. But he has a certain place. Hashem reserved for him a location, specific location that's meant for him. Right, there's a Halacha as an example that a non-Jew is not allowed to study Torah. He's allowed to study the parts of the Torah that have to do with him, right? There are Sheva Mitzvos Bnei Noach, the seven commandments that apply to Noachides, to non-Jews. So, they're allowed to study those laws, but other parts, the things that don't have to do with a non-Jew, they're not allowed to study those things. But we find the Gemara says that a non-Jew who studies the things that have to do with him, the things that are specifically for him, so they're that non-Jew is considered like a Kohen Gadol, he's like the High Priest. The High Priest is a very holy Jew. He's able to come into the Kodesh Hakodashim, the Holy of Holies. When a person does what they are supposed to do, when they are who they are supposed to be, without trying to be somebody else, it doesn't matter where they are, if they have a if they're within the tribes, or they they have a different location that's outside of the the 12 tribes, it's not important. That's just his holy, it's all the way inside. If you are who you're supposed to be, if you are able to accept the place that Hakodash Baruchu has given you, not just accept it, but maximize your potential within that place, so then you've reached the highest levels. You're in the Kodesh Hakodashim, in the Holy of Holies. So, a person thinks, person doesn't understand, doesn't see the whole picture. Hashem sees the whole picture. Hashem knows what's going on. Okay? We can't connect the past, the present, and the future. We don't We look at the present moment and we see, "Oh, things aren't the way I would like them to be." We don't know the whole picture. Hashem knows the whole picture, the whole way that it's supposed to be. And Hashem is the one who has placed us in this position. A few of you should have made a mistake volumes is the author of the even somebody who's on a higher level and a higher spiritual level. Nevertheless, such a person also doesn't really understand the true reasons. Why is it let's say that that person became a Rosh Yeshiva? Why didn't I become a Rosh Yeshiva? Why is it that that person has had a certain success in certain areas of Torah learning, but I haven't? Or that person is successful in working on his middos, perfecting his character traits, but I haven't been able to overcome them. Right? A person can be upset even in spiritual matters. But a person needs to know that person needs to know that that each person has his place, his tikkunim that he needs to to rectify. His purpose in life, his special things that he needs to accomplish. They weren't able to figure out what was going on in this story and what was the intent of this equal Egyptian leader, who was actually their brother Yosef. You have so many questions come up all of they had so many questions for for an extended amount of time. And then when he said, "I am Yosef." They understood that everything that had happened until now wasn't just an Egyptian ruler. It was their brother Yosef. It took on a completely different perspective. It wasn't someone who was cruel and out to get them. He was somebody who was having compassion on them. He wanted to hasten their redemption so to speak. He wanted to hasten the completion of the fulfillment of the dreams. Okay? You see points out here we shouldn't think that what Joseph was doing was in order to get revenge against them. That wasn't the idea at all. But rather as we explained it was in order that that that the dreams be fulfilled. Okay? Yes, we will never have an amazing teaching from here. We could have a situation we can we can experience a situation where we're going through something in our lives that seems like the situation is terribly terribly cruel, terribly difficult. Why is this happening? It's problematic. You look at it from any side you can't figure it out. The truth is that it's completely the opposite. It's completely good and it's all Hashem's compassion on us and so we call it sudden and really it's for our ultimate benefit and we don't realize it. The person just sees a superficial view of what's going on. Excuse me, if you would just have a little understanding, a little insight into the inner aspect of what's going on it would explain everything. If you would see that point you would see a completely the opposite. Okay? That's the story. He expands on he talks about it much more. I'm not going to get into it completely. But I but I want to share with you something that I thought about when I was discussing this with a good friend uh as we we looked at this together. And that is that and I spoke about this in the Be Talking podcast and I like to speak about it again because it's very powerful and and it's inspiring me right now and I want to share it with you. And that's the concept of gratitude. I read recently in the Betachon Weekly, which is a a weekly ex divrei Torah on the parsha, a booklet. Beautiful I beautiful divrei Torah. If you're interested in Betachon Weekly, you can get it at [email protected]. And it's not connected to me. It's just something that I've that I'm enjoying and I would love to other people to get benefit from. He mentions there a story. This is Rabbi Yudel Mandel of Lakewood. He says a story that he met a particular person who was learning in in a kolel and he said to him, "I have no problems." "No problems? No nisyonos? No challenges?" "What's your secret?" And the guy said that everything that he does, his whole relationship with Hashem, everything that he does in his relationship with Hashem is about gratitude. Whenever he davens, gratitude. Thank you, Hashem. Thank you, Hashem. Thank you, Hashem. That's the focus. It's thank you, Hashem. How can I How can I recognize all of the good things that are in my life? And I was thinking you know, what if what if when the brothers had experienced this challenging situation, they had come down to Egypt, they'd been accused of being spies. They had left behind their brother Shimon. He had been incarcerated. They have to go back to their father now and tell him that they can't come back without Benjamin. What if they had said, "Hashem, thank you that I have food in my bag and I can feed my family." What if they would have said "Thank you, Hashem, that I'm I'm capable of traveling from Egypt all the way back to Eretz Yisrael. I'm healthy." "Thank you, Hashem, that my father Yaakov Avinu is so He's He's very old, but he's healthy." "He's 130 years old, but he he's he's well." "Thank you, Hashem, that I have a a beautiful family. There are 70 Jews." "Seven We have a beautiful nation." "Thank you, Hashem, that I have the money to be able to pay for this food." "I don't understand why you, Hashem, have made this challenging situation, but thank you, Hashem. I know that every single thing that you do for me is good for me. I know that this situation somehow I don't know how, but I know that everything that you do is good for me and this somehow is good for me as well. Imagine that the brothers have been able to say that. You know, obviously it's easy for us to say that cuz we we know the whole story. But they were inside. But what if they had said that? What would have happened when Yosef said, "I need Yosef." So when he said that, they were completely embarrassed. It was It was a total shock. But if they would have said all along, imagine. And again, I'm not saying this is Hashem Atina. We're talking about Sadiqim Gedolim, tremendously righteous people. But I'm just trying to bring out the point. If they would have all along said, "Thank you, Hashem. I know this is somehow for my good. I don't understand." It wouldn't have been such a shock when he said, "I need Yosef." And it wouldn't have been They wouldn't have had It wouldn't have been such a You know, it wouldn't have been the same situation. It would have been a completely different situation. They would have been able to let him out dead, to come to terms with it much more. And I think that this is a tremendous lesson for each and every one of us. And I'm trying to incorporate this in my life and I and I encourage you to incorporate it as well. So many times we think, "Hey, it's not fair. Why did Hashem do this? Why did God put me in this situation? Why did he Why Why this problem? Why that problem? Why Why am I not as rich as? Why don't I have this? Why don't I have that? How come that person has two cars and five homes and I How come that person has purchased their home already and I I'm still renting? Whatever the Whatever the situation is, whatever it is that feels like it's not fair. Why has God done this to me?" What if I switch it around and say, "Hashem, I know that everything that you do is for my good. Thank you for giving me this challenge." What if I start noticing, "Thank you, Hashem, that I'm healthy. Thank you, Hashem, that I woke up and I'm able to breathe. I'm able to walk. I'm able to smile. I'm able to open my eyes and see. I have a beautiful family. I have a beautiful spouse. I have a beautiful My parents, they're there to support me." What if I notice all the things in my life that are so great? And I say I shall I know that this is also even the challenge that you give me somehow are to help me. Somehow are for my benefit. What what an amazing what a different life I would have if that was my approach. What if the the Mekalel instead of saying, "Hey, I belong over here. I'm my mother's from Dan." And instead of cursing at God, he would have said, "You know, I belong in my place. I belong where I am and there's a special thing that I know I shall I don't understand why. I wish that I was here. But I know that I shall put me in this place for a different for a different purpose. I have my special purpose. Yeah, I might not have the Yachas. I might not have the not have the lineage. But I but my mother is from Dan. I'd like that to put me over here, but it doesn't. But it's so where I am there's something for me to do there. I have a special and important and not just important, but it's just as holy as everybody else's purpose. Amazing thing. What if he would have thought that? What if he would have turned it around and looked at things positively? It would have completely changed the picture. He wouldn't have ended up in this place of destruction. The result of not being happy with what we have and where we are and our special lot in life. Looking at somebody else and wishing that we had what someone else had, the result is destruction. I can have a type of a covet. Might see us out of the world. When a person is jealous of others, when he desires something that he doesn't have, when he when he's running after honor and higher social status, those things pull a person out of the world. Because they can never get enough. Really, they can never get enough. It's always about what the other person has. But you didn't need it until now. It's it's it's human. But it's very immature. This is the most mature amazing approach. It's Hakaras Hatov. It's saying, "Hey, thank you I shall for what I have. Thank you I shall for my challenges. I know that even my challenges are for my good." I want to ask you to bless me. I'm going to bless you. I shall help us that we should be that we should merit to be able to look at things positively, to have gratitude, to work from gratitude, recognize all the good things that we have, so much good, so many blessings. Hashem should help us to recognize that even the challenges and difficulties, the things that we don't have, those too, that it's possible to thank Hashem for those things as well. And all all that we don't even understand how, somehow, we have we can have a faith the faith and the the bitachon, the trust, the assuredness that those things, too, are also ultimately for our best. Thank you so much for listening. Have a wonderful Shabbos. This podcast was made possible through the gracious donations of listeners like you. For more podcasts like this, please visit www.arigoldwag.com or search on iTunes Ari Goldwag.