Bitachon 74 - When Hashem Says No

you're listening to the 74th edition of the be talking podcast we've been talking about be talking for a few years we started this podcast in Hashem or the shem's help and one of the topics perhaps we haven't addressed as much as we could or perhaps even as much as is important and must be addressed what happens when every talking doesn't work what happens when we it seems not to work we have to be talking and we trust in Hashem and we don't seem to get the results we desire not only that it seems that Hashem is saying clearly no not only that Hashem is saying no for sure not how do we understand this type of situation you know on the simplest level of coursework was our father and God can say no a father says no a good father knows how to say no to his child in the right way perhaps in a soft way perhaps in a tough way depending on the situation how do you understand it when we have to be talking about it doesn't work I want to share with you as just in the states where Hashem I had a few jobs I flew to first to New York then to Silver Spring Maryland and rock Hashem came back yesterday back to Arts Israel and my experience throughout this time of course there were many situations of incredible singing that I did about Hashem was uh successful the concert we had a concert and we had a beautiful Shabbos in Silver Spring and gave a sheer on Shabbos everything really went very well but along the way and we can think about why perhaps it's because anytime we're facing a challenge in parnassa so in order you know we got to pay for it we gotta go through a certain challenge in order to receive what we need going to America my experience has shown me getting there on the return there can be challenges coming to Earth Israel is a challenge in and of itself so many people about Hashem are having that experience making aliyat arts Israel the challenges that are part of that Etsy sales Nicholas so we have this experience as we come back and as we go there and that was my experience and I like to talk about it I'd like to talk about some of the thoughts that I had in thinking about be talking and then thinking about when Hashem says no what are what is it what is the message how what's the what's the correct approach how can we receive that without feeling like Hashem is uh you know he's a father sometimes we get upset at our parent when our parent does something we don't understand so what's the proper approach what is a way to think about it I'll just share with you as I was going through this trip so numerous challenges came along along the way first challenge was I was trying to rent a car and the price was at one point a certain amount and at another point which is when we actually rented the car it was even a much higher amount I I bought a phone in order to be able to use this phone in the in the states as soon as I got to the states the phone didn't work went through a hole back and forth with the company from whom I uh get the service from they said it's not their problem it's not the SIM card it was the it was the phone itself it's not supported in America had to get a new phone actually in the process I filmed last week's be talking podcast before I actually got the phone that was gonna work properly and do what needed to be done for me and then when it came to getting to this to from from New York to Silver Spring I waited online for a long time in order to rent a car cut it a little bit close I expected to be an hour an hour early to where I was going to be singing ended up being just on time which Hashem was just on time came back from from the whole uh experience in Silver Spring and a very uh rough return let us say ended up in the airport in Paris for the entire day supposed to have an hour layover I was delayed didn't make the didn't make the connecting flight was pushed off to a later flight to an afternoon flight with LL got to the LL desk turned out that the person who had transferred me to the LL flight didn't do it properly they reserved me a spot but they didn't ticket me so I was still on a different flight a later flight at 9pm instead of 2 45 PM ran back and forth in the airport balagan like we say in Israel balagan didn't make the flight was really upset but wasn't meant to get home by eight o'clock at night originally I was supposed to get home by 2 30 in the afternoon 8 o'clock at night didn't work out the flight that I ended up on was a 9 pm flying seven nine am flight ended up getting home instead of at 2 30 in the morning at 3 10 after three in the morning but Hashem made it home safely 423 in the morning but it was clear throughout these different situations in each of the different details I don't need to go into it you know all the way but it was very clear that Hashem was saying to me no I watched as on the second flight the LL flight I watched this they said to me the flight was closed somebody came in who was a gem customer that's what they call it and they actually opened the flight for him to get on and I was sitting there not able to get on they explained to me there was no seat for me there was a seat for him but no seat for me but the question is I'm not coming here to complain has to Shalom I'm coming here to try to understand when Hashem shows specifically Hashem shows us that the answer is no Hashem shows us that the answer is no to me the answer is yes to somebody else you see somebody else more successful than you and you see that the successes that you want for yourself for your family Etc it's not coming it's not coming the way you would like it I would like it so what's the approach how do we think about it and you know Hashem is so kind he's so gracious he's so loving that inside of this of the story inside of the situation he sends the answer and on that flight on the morning flight the Air France flight which came in late on uh Tuesday morning there was a family there from Eric's Israel an Israeli family and I had seen them before I got on the flight I saw them on the flight didn't speak to them too much but I said hello oh we're on the same flight we missed the flight together when we got to the to the later flight to the nine o'clock flight at night so we were both there together waiting on the line together and I started to schmooze with them and it turns out that the father of the family they were on a sabbatical in America he was a professor he's a professor and he taught in in Washington state I'm sorry in Washington DC I think or in the area and we had a whole conversation and he was a very optimistic person and everything about him is like you know it's going to be good it's going to be good and I told him about my song they weren't really familiar with my music I told him that my son today it's gonna be a good day I told him about amakan and a nice conversation and he said to me you know we always have to look at situations and we need to know that it's going to be good in the end it's going to be good and tell me a story of how he had been in a certain place he was there with a spiritual teacher and when he got to this place in this place there was some kind of gate and he closed the gate and as he closed the gate so the gate closed on his thumb and ripped his the top of his somebody to show me his thumb his thumb was fine that was his story happened a while ago but it ripped through his thumb and he had incredible pain in most intense pain he was like 10 minutes of incredibly intense pain and the people around him were all empathetic we're so sorry what can we do for you and and this is going on and his spiritual teacher came over to him and said to him one line he said which means this is a gift this is a gift when we have an experience of intense pain we haven't experienced where Hashem is saying no Hashem says no we want to get there we want to get home we want to be with our family I've been away for a week I want to get home I don't want to miss this flight I had to be talking that my flight that first flight would get there early and the second flight would be a little bit late open the window but that's not what happened might be talking didn't work so to speak maybe it was a lack of you talking on my part or maybe not maybe it was a lesson or maybe it was just you know in order to get to that place in order to get to receiving the Parana session wants to give me in order to get back to Earth Israel the place Russia wants me to be a place of Greater spirituality a place of Greater closeness to Hashem a place of Greater revelation of Hashem being in our lives I have to so to speak go through the ring of fire go through a challenging situation of azimatana it's a gift it's a gift and a conversation on the first flight as the first flight that I went on on my way home we were sitting on the flight and it wasn't moving we're waiting we're waiting and we're waiting and we're waiting we're waiting wasn't yet our turn we ended up going back to the gate in order to refuel because we were waiting for such a long time that fuel was used up we needed to to refuel or Hashem you had to have enough fuel I was talking we were able to get up and I was talking to somebody who I met on the plane nice young man coming to learn in Yeshiva here in RC Israel we had a conversation we talked about but talking and talked about we talked about the they'll be talking of the authors of verdict the other kinds of be talking absolutely talking it always works that's what I said you know but he said to me it's kind of ironic he said to me what happens when it doesn't work and I said no with the altar of of without talking to the altar it always works it must work there's no such thing as not working that's what I said and you know in the irony of it or perhaps Hashem wanted to teach me this lesson so I could share it with you as well and the irony of it maybe doesn't did not work like I said maybe didn't have enough you're talking but you know if I would have this conversation again with this young man perhaps we would we would have a different conclusion as to what is the message or what is the approach right because it's disappointing you have phobit you know hashan's going to answer your Tila and Hashem does not answer your in fact Hashem shows you I'm gonna I'm not gonna give you seat Ishmael or you're not gonna get it it's not going to be the way you want it to be you're not going to get that which you wished for so to speak what is the message what is the approach indeed when it doesn't work out and I what I understood from the situation I want to understood from this person who gave me the gift who gave me this message of it's a Matana is that indeed and and the feeling that I had you know after I missed the the LL flight where I had run across the airport and run back literally getting there for what I thought was going to be just in time but watching that plane take off without me the feeling that I felt even as I was crying literally I cried because it was it was very emotional it was very um it was very emotional the feeling that I had though was that Hashem is here Hashem is with me Hashem is taking care of me and Hashem is saying no that was the feeling that I had and I feel like that was the gift that was the gift that this guy was talking about this professor was talking about the gift is that sometimes we experience an intense situation and be talking part of you talking and working on me talking is that we need to know that indeed Hashem does answer artifice Hashem does respond to our wants our wants and desires Hashem does give us what we want and when we have that experience so the experience is ecstatic it's awesome wow look I trusted it in Hashem and I got what I wanted I got my needs I got the thing that I wanted and I needed I got the parnassa for my family I got the we got the we were waiting for we got the refuel we were waiting for we got the Cure that's ecstatic and that's awesome but there's also we then be talking and even I think perhaps perhaps we could say even within the alternate virus we're talking Hashem sometimes says no and in that now is also a closeness you know we know that Tish above is called a moate it's called a time of meeting connection between us and Hashem and it's a time of the base of english's Destruction and it's a time when we discuss and we talk about the Crusades and the Holocaust we talk about all those points in time Hashem seemed to abandon us rashem said no so to speak to our dreams and aspirations and our request for salvation we've talked a lot about the fact that when we have been talking we get to Salvation and I was looking actually at the next section in Hashem quoting from Ghazal and it's all about Hashem saying yes so he didn't want to read from the safer today because I wanted to bring across this message I wanted to bring it home and I wanted to encourage us encourage us because a person can come to Earth Israel a person can you know have every great intention and move here and they need to know you need to know we need to know that there's a there's a ring of fire a ring of fire that we need to pass through just had a conversation yesterday somebody who just moved to artists throughout amazing Seattle the last moment her husband got a job her child wasn't working so well in a particular school where they were in and the Manila was recommending they go to a different place in Chicago and they realized hey if the point is mishana Maka mashana muzzle change the place change your luck so to speak they had a dream they've had a dream to move the Earth's Israel and they were able to make the dream a reality with hashem's help but I said to her and I said I don't wish this on you but you should you should know you should be ready prepared for the possibility that you have to pass through a ring of fire and cisrael's nickname spearing you have to know that we have to know that we also have to know sometimes it's like I felt or I wanted I felt I said to them I'm going to be on that flight the flight that I didn't end up on I said I'm on that flight I'm on that flat I'm supposed to be on the flight and he actually looked and he said you don't have a ticket I did have a ticket there was a ticket in the computer Etc we don't always get what we want we don't always get what we want even with be talking we don't always get what we want and we need to recognize it's important to see sometimes Hashem does say no sometimes the thing that we're going for we think that we're supposed to have it's not what we're supposed to have and remember I don't know how many times I've shared this experience I'm sure I have don't remember how many times but a few years ago a few years ago it's been a while already but I was asked to be on a Israeli television show called which is basically a star is born this kind of real life competitions I was asked to sing there and I didn't I didn't even get through the first round I got through like the initial stuff where you have to to see if you're going to be on the show and then I did the tryouts on the stage incredible pressure live studio audience in a big Hall and I've got up there and I sang I sang my heart out I danced my heart out and nothing to all the judges gave thumbs down all the judges gave thumbs down and it was such an intense difficult moment it was such an intense difficult moment and I and I saw that the answer was no Shen does not want me to go through a path of being on TV and breaking out breaking out into the Israeli secular Market are people who have done it you know there's Jonathan Roselle and there's the shirei bow there are people who are from and they've been able to sing for a broader the broader Israeli Market the secular Market it's not me that's not who I am that's not where I'm supposed to be I thought it was seem to be the signs were sending me in that direction seems to be Hashem was sending me in that direction but that's not where I was supposed to be you know so it's important to know I thought I was going to be on that flight I thought I would get home by a certain time I thought I'd be on the first flight I thought I could make that window so many times it's worked out at the last second sometimes Hashem says no sometimes the signs are no and sometimes we don't get what we want we don't get what we want in the way that we want it I wanted to be home at 2 30 in the afternoon I got home at 4 23 in the morning I wanted to come home and have the Fanfare my family welcomed Me Home the hero has returned the the man has returned from his hunt he's returned with the with with dinner to eat dinner without me I came home at 4 23 in the morning everyone was sleeping you know things don't always work out the way we want it to we it doesn't work out our vision and I knew I was thinking you know while I was inside of it and I'm thinking about it after I was thinking you know I'm gonna get home and it's gonna be fun I will I will arrive back in there in Cicero I will be home I'll be with my family I'll enjoy them we indeed had those hugs the coming home hugs in the morning and here I am back in ernstro all's well that ends well as they say but along the way I need to remember and I offer for you along your journey as well working on be talking and on our relationship with Hashem it's a gift it's a gift even in that moment there was another family another family Israeli family who who also they had some kind of thing with their luggage this that I don't know exactly the whole story but I offered them what this other person said which is it's a gift you know it's so easy to complain it's so easy to focus on the negative it's so easy to get caught up in it let's receive the gift let's think about the gift of the situations which aren't what we want why are we talking seems to not have worked Hashem says no let's recognize that even that situation is a gift from Hashem thanks so much for listening see you again next time