Bamidbar-Shavuos - Destination Within the Journey

you're listening to the weekly paraa podcast recorded with hashem's never ending assistance in ra Israel 5775 2015 this week's par parid and this coming Saturday night M shabas Sunday Monday for those outside of Israel as well is is the holiday when we celebrate the receiving of the Torah and ASAS points out the parid always comes out right before the holiday of sh it's the par that we read the shabas before sh and the question is why nothing is by coincidence oral when they set up the way that we read the Paras they set it up with specific intent the parallel that is clear that rnas points out the thing that we see in this para that's connected to is the concept of counting it's also there's also another theme which is which is important to look at and that is the concept of the midbar that it was in the wilderness of the Jewish people they left Egypt they're on their way to Israel and they have to pass through the Wilderness they receive the Torah in the wilderness they're counted in the wilderness the Torah specifically points out that this is where they were in the midmar in the wilderness when theyed the Torah and when they were counted and so we have these two important points we need to try to understand perhaps a little bit to try to go into sh with the lesson of the parid what is that lesson what is the concept of counting what is the idea that hasm counts the Jewish people and as the mfor explain as explains the counting wasn't just an arbitrary it wasn't done at an arbitrary time wasn't done arbitrarily but it was specifically done at a time when God was going to be he was going to place his divine presence upon the Jewish people so that's significant why does Hashem count the Jewish people before he's being before he places his divine presence upon them the counting was also done right before the Jewish people were to receive the Torah there was a counting as well there as well at Hari at Mount Si there was God revealed himself he brought a relationship about between himself and the Jewish people and that was predicated by this counting so what is the idea of counting also we know and that's the parallel that's part of the parallel is that we're counting up to we counting 7even time 7even seven weeks from PESA from Passover from the from the Exodus from Egypt and we're getting up to the day of the 50th the 50th day which is when we receive the Torah so there's this idea of counting also interesting it's it's important to point out is that the Torah points out that the to that the counting occurred when was this counting done it was done in the month of the month of ER is the passageway between Nissan and San is when we leave Egypt when we have pesak the Passover and ER is the is the month in between beginning of s which is the month we're now is when we receive the Torah now that month of er which is in between is specifically pointed out as the month when the Jewish people are counted what's the significance what is the idea of the month of er as it's represented as a time of counting of the Jewish people and as it's represented as a time of counting between pesak and Sh from Passover and the receiving of the Torah we spoke at length in previous podcasts about the idea of seven and the idea of eight or the idea of 49 which is 7 * 7 and idea of 50 the concept of 50 going back as we said by Yo going back to that original state going back to to who we truly are and we we find that the concept of a and the concept of 50 are referred to ASAS sh is called us a stopping we count for 49 days the way express it our sages Express it is count and stop Count 49 days when we get to the 50th day we do not count it's not counted we stop counting there's a stopping of movement also in regards the the last day of of sukus the eighth day that concept of eight is it's called it's the eth the stopping what is the idea of stopping we count we count we count we're walking through that desert for 49 days and then we stop we come to our Cena we come to mount sa and we stop counting we stop Movement we stop walking we stop journeying so there's an idea clearly here of journeying of movement of counting and there's an idea of stopping how are we to understand this idea it's also interesting that General speaking and this is something that points out generally speaking counting is not necessarily a good thing hasem specifically says that there's a certain way to count it's only by using the the everyone is ter everyone contributes a half shekel and then they count up these coins but the counting directly is not done says we don't want to count because we don't want their to be any kind of destructive force that's Unleashed as a result of counting so on one hand on one hand it seems like counting is not a good thing but on the other hand we see that Hashem specifically counts us and as Rashi points out as kazal say counting indicates love when I count something it shows my love for it I'm enumerating each and every detail of all the things that I have I mean and you know I'm counting my children I'm counting there's a counting that shows it's a I count money it shows that I'm I'm affectionate toward this thing and it shows that each one of these things is significant so it's very interesting that we have ACC counting which is negative and we have a counting which is positive and I think it could be as we look at these parallels is we look at the parallel between the counting up to the receiving of the Torah and and the journeying of the Jewish people the movement so there's this parallel as well a person can Journey but if the if the Destin ation that he's journeying toward is negative so that journey is not good the journey itself is is bad but if the direction that a person is journeying is toward the promised land is toward Isel if the person is journeying if he's counting not to create separation between the people not to say this one is has his thing and and you go off on your own but rather the counting is for everyone to understand the Mala the the advantage the good thing the Great about each each and every one of us if the counting is towards Unity if the counting is not to separate the pieces but to bring them together then that counting is a good thing but now the question that I would like to present to you and we need to think about is what is which is the better thing is it the movement is it the counting or is it the stopping is it being in a state of flux is it being out of the place where I'm supposed to be is it being in that wilderness or is it being in Israel is it being in Exile and and yearning for Israel or is it being in the place is it is it each one feeling like there's something different and that everyone is so different or is it the wholeness that whole thing that comes together is it that when when the Jewish people act as a unit and hasem is masem places his divine presence upon the people which is the greater thing now what's interesting here is that we see that it's necessary it's essential the world was created only in order that we go through this journey we have to be in this place in fact Ras says the only place to access the only place the Torah can be received is only in the wilderness you can only access that highest light as rabman says he says is the Y is the the Falling Down is the is the highest is the highest manifestation of that upper place of that rising up and it's a paradox but within this place of movement somehow there's a space within the movement which is non-movement there's a space within the journey which is the destination there's a space within the separation which is connection now what do I mean it sounds very uh you know esoteric perhaps it sounds doesn't really make any sense but if you think about it there's actually it's very clear it's something that we can see very clearly when I it's something that we actually said before when I am moving when I'm journeying for the sake of journeying let's say I'm just traveling to travel that doesn't have the same power as traveling to get to a location like we said when I am counting just for the sake of separation that's not as powerful as counting to get towards that full amount to get towards that completion now what happens when I'm counting what happens when I'm journeying and I'm going somewhere I'm counting one two 3 cuz I'm I want to get to 10 I'm counting to 10 as I count the number one as I count the number two as I count each number contained within that number is the number 10 when I say one one you know I said I said when I started I'm counting to 10 so you know this is not just one this is one of 10 I count number two this is two of 10 and it's the same thing interestingly when we count during the week we count we count this is today is the first day of the week the first day towards chabas every week we count and so what happens is within my counting within my counting of the number one is arresting I'm counting today in in my first day of the week in my Sunday I'm already thinking about chabas that means that I'm drawing chabas into my Sunday sh shabas I'm drawing my chabas into the second day I'm drawing that rest the the work that I'm doing today is about resting really so that when I get to the seventh day I can stop when I'm counting towards 50 each and every piece of that number is really there's a stopping I know I'm counting here so I can get to a point where I'm going to stop I'm moving I'm journeying so that I can get to a place to a final destination where I'm going to stop within every step as I'm walking towards Isel as I'm walking towards Israel every step that I take contains within it Israel every step every count every every time that I'm getting there I'm getting as I move closer Within in the movement is non-movement within the counting is the completion where I stop counting Now look for a moment at the place where this occurs where does it occur it occurs in the midbar and it occurs in midbari comes in the Sinai desert this entire Wilderness is named after a mountain Hari Mount Si it's named after the the mountain which represents humility which represents a giving up of self which which is where the Torah is given the Torah represents a giving up of self a non-movement as we spoke about last week the Torah represents who I really am letting go of all of the movement of all of my opinions of all of what I think is reality what even what I think of as God's will letting go of my belief giving that up for something higher for something deeper which is who I really am which is the the little quiet voice of God which resides within me it happens specifically in the midbar because that Journey that Journey if I want my destination if I want the place where I'm going to be a place of wholeness a place of Love of of standing and receiving the Torah of having a true relationship with Hashem that only happens in the wilderness the journeying happens through this time through this month of ER it's just what is the character of the month doesn't have a holiday really as but even those are just stop ways along the journey they're just they're just T they're just bus stations so to speak so the month of er itself is is just about journeying doesn't really have its own character so much even P sheni it's doesn't it's just a makeup for something that happened last month l b is just one of those days along the the the count up to Shu it doesn't have its own character it's a Wilderness in time the the mid BARC is a Wilderness in space and I walk through that Wilderness I journey through that Wilderness to remind myself that what's the destination the destination is that 50 is is a seras it's stopping and each step I take I got to stop you know I think think about it I'm walking through this midbar through this Wilderness and and what is the character of this Wilderness nothing can survive here I can't make it I've I got to stop I got to stop and realize the grace of Hashem it's only because God loves me Hashem is bringing down this miraculous Mana he's giving to me this miraculous well of Miriam the water I'm drinking is miraculous where is it coming from it's not even coming from me it's coming from someone else's Merit and it's somebody who's you know the the Merit of Miriam she was somebody who is completely involved with the cloud throughout her life she was involved in caring about the entire Jewish people she gave herself up for the greater good so there I am in that Wilderness in that midbar and Hashem is counting and the counting itself is a counting because we're heading towards trying to understand the entire picture of the Jewish people and that counting represents the fact that there's a greater picture and there's God wants to manifest on the Jewish people in order for Hashem to manifest you know you look around at the world where's Hashem manifest it's easy to see Hashem manifest in a tree it's easy to see hasm manifest in an animal those things they just do what they're supposed to do it's only the human being through the human being's ego that resists defies doesn't allow the will of Hashem into the world so I look around and and I see Hashem is Manifest there and means that the divine presence is going to be manifest after he counts us and everything is in the place where it's supposed to be everything is in that state of 50 that counting somehow within the counting is a non-movement because the counting is towards that place of non-movement so the counting itself paradoxically is non-movement the journeying itself through the midbar through the Wilderness is through a place of non-movement through a place where there's no life life is not possible there and that's how we get from The Exodus that's how we get from from a place of slavery that's how we get to a place of serving Hashem of reflecting the highest aspect of the human being possible instead of serving the idolatries instead of serving man instead of serving all of the tiis of Egypt the the desires the physical desires as they were so entrenched in in that place now we're moving into a deeper Place into a place of just reflecting of being who I'm supposed to be of just being in the place of hashem's Will and that happens through counting but it happens through counting towards recognizing that the movement that I'm doing is to get to a place of non-movement so that even the movement itself is non-movement I want to bless you and please bless me back hasem should help each of us to be able to reach the destination of this journey that we've gone on in the last 49 days should help us to reach the destination and to recognize that we keep journeying and the journey can have a character of destination if we keep in mind the journey is about the destination we can have that that satisfaction of the destination even as we're moving the journey itself can be something powerful if we're going somewhere and that is kept in mind as we're getting there should help us to be able to do that to be able to continue to to receive the Torah to stand at Mount Si together with love for each other recognizing that each one of us is so powerfully important and that we're all part of a much greater hole and that each of us has power because we are part of that greater that greater hole thank you so much for listening have a wonderful chabas and a wonderful Shu this podcast was made possible through the gracious donations of listeners like you for more podcasts like this please visit www.wag.com or search on iTunes Ari goldwag [Music]