HOME AND HEART FOR FAMILIES IN MEDICAL CRISIS

He actually coded on Chavis. How are we going to manage? What are we going to do? >> But we didn't know what it was for a year. >> And the doctor tells me we might have to intubate. >> You don't know what you're going to do, where you're going to go. >> Should we listen to that doctor? Should we listen to that doctor? >> First night of was a regular night. My wife had headaches, but she sent me to learn in shul. The headaches were getting so bad. That second day, I called at Salah and they took her into the hospital. when they found out that there was bleeding on the brain. >> My wife was seeing blurry. So she went to the regular eye doctor. They looked into the retina and they saw something was off. So they sent the wife to the retina specialist. He sent us for an MRI. 3 days later we came out. That something is there. We don't know what it is, but we didn't know what it was for a year. >> I was regular like regular typical person that was immune gene. That time finds she pregnant with twins. 20 weeks in, we found out that one of the kids have it's called a ginapalisol. Our local doctor said like it's too much for him and in already 20 weeks sent us to chop. 31 weeks she went into labor and now we know this kid was really medical. It was a really rough 24 hours once it was born. He actually coded on Chavis. He had a six-minute code. My sister had a brain tumor. She had fever. This was not shabas. She was complaining. And then Tuesday night she started feeling like chest pain. 5 in the morning she was like no I'm going in. At one point the doctor said we might have to intubate and then they did it. >> We very quickly realized that it's not something that even though we're a wonderful big capable family there's a certain expertise that needs to come with it and that's when we reached out to Kapay and they just took over. I say at some point while we were trying to have a normal life was just a very big struggle the logistics. So meals you can get from here, you can get from there, but at home it's just me, my wife, and the kids, she's just limited. She can't do so much. Family is one thing, but to go take volunteers, this, that, it was not what we typically would do. My son came home for good. Finally, we could care for our child that was in the hospital 14 months and we felt stuck. We can't care for him because the other children are jealous. We want to give them their attention. You know, they went through so much also and we just life was not working out. >> I don't like to rely on other people for help. I never imagined it was what it is. Kapime started in Lakewood about 5 years ago. It was run by a wonderful couple and for a few reasons they weren't able to do it anymore. My wife was helping families and she's like we can't just let this die. It it has to exist. She called the Kapahim office in New York and said listen you need to help me out. Maybe you take it over. My wife's like me take it over. So they convinced us to take it over and we've been running it since then. >> The main thing Kapay does is they they think of all the details. Our kids were a lot neglected and Kapay comes in and makes them feel who they are before Yant for this sending them stuff. These little things make a big deal for them. >> Helping with the kids, the homework, it's the feelings. It's it's that the kids shouldn't have trauma more than the basic uh news what they're getting. >> Two weeks ago, my son was again in the hospital 2 years old already. He's active. He's playing and he's playing with the same forks and knives that he has from the room kapim hairs that were in the hospital. Within 24 hours, he got a box of toys with the toys made him feel better, like he has what to do and he's calm. And once he's calm, a lot of things went back down. Each family has a family coordinator and that family coordinator coordinates with the cooks and they get them customtailored meals to what the kids want. >> It's love. It's not uh it's not food, it's love. You know, someone comes to to do our laundry for us, they ring the doorbell, leave it, and walk the other way. Last time only with love. >> The cabin is another thing that is an incredible thing for the families. There's activities. There's a teen program. There's a tween program. Program is for the younger kids. >> There's food. There's these great counselors. It's welcoming. There's camaraderie. There's fun. There's games. They had a great time. They come back. They're ready to unwind. They go to sleep. It makes the difference between survival or or falling apart. >> I have four kids. Two boys, two girls. In the beginning, they wouldn't even like why we're coming here. We didn't want my kids to know that it's because mommy's sick and you're the mommy has a boo boo in her head. And this is just just to keep the kids happy. >> There's a homework room upstairs where they can do homework with the with the volunteers. There's a library upstairs. There's an exercise room upstairs. We have another room that's used for the for the team program for the girls. And we also have two showers on some of the children when they come here, they're given their showers. When they come home, they're ready to go to bed. They're in pajamas and ready to go to bed. >> My kids come home thrilled and that even when there is stress because of the appointments or my wife after s after she had brain surgery, she was out of commission. My kids didn't feel that they were missing for K. He felt that they had more. just to be able to concentrate on decision- making and doctors and appointments and just to to talk to wife just to to lay down. >> When somebody's sick, everyone's knows, oh, they need to be taken care of. There's somebody there to make sure they have supper. Somebody make sure they have a bath, clean laundry to go to school tomorrow. >> We don't even realize these small little things for children is huge. little presents, little things before Yantiff, taking them out, making them feel important. These little things really, really build these kids. >> To run a house without when the mother's incapacitated, it's just brutal. It's just totally brutal. It's just brutal. You can't It's just how much could you do? How much could you, how could you, how do you manage? >> Most of the people that bring the shops, ring the doorbell, I come to the door, their back is already turned towards the car. >> The families without kapai, they don't even realize how much dysfunction they're going through. It's the unseen victims. after the whole thing by coming back I was so depleted and my wife is still recuperating and that was when kapim still continued on >> any support that's given at that time is of the highest caliber anyone who partners in such a thing supports it and volunteers discuss his English >> mention mine and as oh she's home is good yeah it's okay fine once like everything's back to normal and drift away but kapay I think realizes doesn't stop then kapay brings the mother back into the house >> kapay was a lifesaver a home away from home >> especially a family that that's going through life and death situations I don't know how they could do without kapay