ASIFA 2021

[Music] [Applause] foreign greetings from the 25th annual asifa lativas coopers ezra of raccoon county this year's asifa is exclusively dedicated to a new program called the aim habanen fund this is to help single mother families in our muncie community tonight we will bring to light the plight of these single mothers widows divorcees and women that are waiting for their get together we will show an unparalleled display of avas hessed to the most deprived members of our greater muncie community after much studying this subject we found for reasons unknown that universally there's very little exposure concerning this critical issue therefore we deemed it necessary to go virtual in order to bring attention to achieved israel nationwide it was just a mere few weeks ago that we sat on the ground and mourned the destruction of the base hamikdash we read the echa which was authored by yemi yohan novi as he described in detail the pain and suffering of the exile from our homeland yamiyo hannavi opens his lamentations with the words [Music] the base of mikdash is burned to the ground millions of jews are exiled or murdered hunger deprivation desolation is rampant at israel is deserted the shrine as we have known it is gone beneath israel yerushalayim is desolate finds no other word to depict the scene only she was like a widow or as the meadows adds husbandless the epitome of aloneness is the woman without her husband the day the amanda gets up from shiva or the day the divorcee receives her get in many instances she becomes the mother the father the breadwinner and the homemaker she makes kiddush and abdullah alone she conducts conducts her sader alone she becomes her son's gamer tutor alone she builds her sukkah alone she must register her children yeshivas and camps alone her children are alone shabbos meals alone jumped of meals alone lighting hanukkah candles alone yes alone alone alone tonight we must all declare to these families you are not alone never alone we are here to support you with all your needs i would like to hand over this mantle to rabinochem siegel of the famous nakham siegel networks who will serve as our master of ceremonies of tonight's most informative and vital event [Music] hello everyone and thank you to rabbi mashinsky and simcha herbsman and the presidium and board members of kupat ezra for again including me in this important and worthy program i will be encouraging you all through this hour to support kupat ezra at the website coupofezra.org and this year we are asking that everyone pay special attention to the aim habanem donate link at koopathezra.org and by dialing 1-888 mitzvos 888-648-9867 in every one of our communities around this country and around the world we all face the challenge of single mothers and their children it's a subject that's essentially taboo we don't discuss it much tonight we will discuss it and with representatives of different communities from around the country we must do everything in our power to spread the word about the situation that single mothers and their children are in and discuss how we can help them up next is our round table discussion about this very topic joining me tonight is a distinguished panel three individuals who are going to help us understand the situation in our communities rabbi jose first is executive director of the chicago hesse fund welcome rabbi first rabbi danielle drandolph is clinical director of my extended family which is founded in flatbush and is now in many different areas of our community welcome right randolph and rabbi mordechai newman director of behavioral health services for hamaswig of rockin county he is here as well thank you for joining us right newman we're going to start by asking each of our panelists to describe from their vantage point the situation with single mothers and their families the specific group that aim habanem is helping rabbi first what can you tell us about this situation single mothers is a very painful topic to talk about it is extremely neglected by many and people don't aware people are not aware of the gravity of the situation whatever reason a person became a single mom is not our business but the bottom line is they are a single mom and they are struggling because they don't have someone to talk to and their kids are struggling that means that most cases outside just about all cases there is serious therapy needed for the children that they suffer another issue which which lays on a bigger load is that most parents nowadays is a two breadwinner family and when you only have one bread winner and they have to juggle the job of being a parent and with the whole load of bringing in paranosa it is almost impossible to run a normal life and people feel that well they think it's their their own fault they just don't think if people would realize that these people how much they need the help and how much would be the center of always of their attention that they should try and help out a little bit more would make a huge difference in their life it's not going to fix the problem but it'll be a nice band-aid to the situation that they know other people care about them and we should point out we're here in rockland county but you're from chicago and you could attest to the fact that many communities around the united states and the world are facing this exact same situation in their own community correct rabbi randolph what can you tell us about what's happening with single mothers in our community sure so first of all thank you so much this is a wonderful opportunity to speak together with so many refined people um i found over my years at my extended family that single parents like i first said come in so many different shapes and sizes and they're coming from so many different places at my accented family for example we we deal with single parents that are either divorced who are almanas who are who have a a spouse who is in prison any situation where two parents aren't living together in the home and what i found is that while you can't paint a broad stroke across the whole entire community of single parents but some of the things that i found that have applied to most of the single parents that i've talked with and i've tried to help is arranging a house is isolationism is feeling like they are separate different and like right first said as well the the whatever they're coming however they're coming to us why ever they got divorced or however whatever circumstances led them being single parents is not we don't get involved in that we don't ask that question but the children really really suffer when there isn't a community or individuals community and individuals i should say who are there to help and support the parents because single parents are really left holding up a tremendous load without the support and help of a spouse so the children don't have who to take them to show the the boys don't have abu subunim taken care of obviously financially they're at a major disadvantage it's very very hard whether it's tuition we have found that parents are not able to pay tuition single mothers struggle with that and then unfortunately some children are getting kicked out of school because the parents can't pay the tuition the mother i should say so all around there is this general feeling of a tremendous weight without enough of a foundation to hold that weight it's a very big burden reba newman from your perspective what could you tell us about the situation so first off to echo on what we heard there are a lot of different dimensions to this uh there's of course the financial piece there's the actual piece of someone being that the logistically taking the kid to schule and so on for myself being a father we know that you know sometimes we need to coordinate the mother is home the father's home someone goes out it's just it's very difficult to imagine running a smooth ship with with kids and and just a single parent doing all of that especially yamtiv comes and whatnot more specifically where i come in usually is with the mental health piece um as a licensed clinical social worker a a part of a big chunk of my private practice is with individuals who are coming from single parent homes and more professionally at hamaswick we run different programs that are catered not specifically for this population but we do have a lot of people who fit this description there is a tremendous mental health component that comes along with someone who is with with a single parent home whether there is an actual underlying mental illness which is part of the equation which which caused some of this or even without any official mental health diagnosis just by virtue of someone growing up in a single parent home the support the extra support they need the guilt the shame the awful bullying that comes along with it the support that the mothers need the entire household all of the kids the mother all the entire system needs to be guided and supported by professionals and sometimes by support support groups or outings for the kids and so on when this happens when we have this in place it makes a very very big difference when we don't have it in place either because logistically it wasn't set up or because they couldn't find a good enough therapist that takes their insurance whatever the reason or because of stigma whatever whatever the reason is when it's not set up properly we see it and we see the results and it's heartbreaking it really is heartbreaking our panelists have described isolation and loneliness and how these mothers go through their day and their week and their month with a big burden on their shoulders and the question now is how do we help them well one answer is pretty obvious there's financial help that is needed and needed desperately that's one of the reasons we're all gathered here tonight to plead with everybody to help with the aim abundant program and to make it financially viable but now the question is what other remedies some of which we've alluded to already can we do for these children and these mothers in our community or by first we'll start with you when you think of remedies things that the community can do what comes to mind well money is definitely a good first oh yeah but it doesn't solve everything but i think caring and showing you cure makes a big difference i've seen people that when they go to elvis upon him they always call the neighbor to have situations take their kids also whenever they're going on an outing they they they always just take somebody with send extra coogle over shabbos extra supper just a showing you're curing even if you don't have the money for it but there's caring makes a big difference in these people's lives we are thinking of you one of the most important messages you can give to anybody in a situation like this but especially and by showing thinking of them they feel they can open up to you as well which is also a very part of the mental health part which people can feel they can open up to people sure and we talk about finances and making sure to get as much as much help financially as possible to these mothers but what you just described doesn't cost a lot of money would you just describe it exactly just about reaching out um rabbi randolph what comes to mind when you think of how we can help solve this problem sure so what comes to mind for me is what i hear a lot from people in the community and i know we have amazing organizations that are helping this population many of them think of it yeah and and the the thing when it comes to organizations that organizations are packaged in a certain way to try to help as many people as possible and it's not always perfectly focused for each individual and there's not really a way to to deal with that on the institutional level but when we talk about individuals like i first was saying when when when people on on a person-to-person basis are able to step up and recognize that there's a neighbor there's somebody in the show there's somebody somewhere in the community that needs help i've heard from people who are worried they're nervous to to talk to to go up to to to in any way bring to light that this person is a single parent and they think they're doing a hesed for the person they think oh i'm going to remind them of their of their pain i'm going to remind them of their suffering i'm going to remind them of their single parent and i always tell them they are reminded every single day of the challenges of their lives they don't need you to remind them but what they do need from you is support and help and to be there so if people can can move past that that that nervousness that worry that anxiety of coming to somebody and reminding them whatever that means but to to offer like a very first said as well the the other subunit who's going to take the boys off of zuban um a ride somewhere parents single parents are constantly wondering how am i going to get the kid to and from this place or that place after school activities uh a malamae that they that they sit with after school these things are just the basic day-to-day things and to think about that what does my neighbor need what does my harder need what what can i do for them and to and to go and approach them and it's okay and a smile and uh and it's okay to talk about it it's not taboo it shouldn't be taboo and i think the more that that happens the less the isolationism is going to be such a factor for some of these single parents rabbi newman part of your expertise is therapies and consultations for children so that they can open up about these issues when it comes specifically to the kids what remedies do you think our community should be aware of so first of all i think there's a lot of education that that is needed that we need to infiltrate in the communities basically in terms of uh not to feel stigmatized so so there is the part where we ask others not to stigmatize those who do have it and then we ask the children themselves the families the affected families not to be ashamed not to feel guilty and when there is a service available go get it don't be ashamed if there is a trip that such kids from such families are privileged to go to jump on the wagon don't say no i'm going to feel marginalized you need the support get the supports it's that simple there are services available sometimes people are just so overwhelmed that they just blank out when they think of what services uh i can't apply the different forms red tape so there is something in the state of new york uh where a care manager can be provided for someone who is eligible and someone who has medicaid anyone who has some kind of a mental illness mental illness can be adjustment disorder uh with a little anxiety which anyone who goes through a divorce qualifies for that um there is this care management program provides a care manager which ties it all together provides services each each child can have a care manager the mother could do or if it's a single father the single parent can have a care manager who's there to be an advocate for them and to link them to community services to social services eligibility services and that's a good start there are clinics that have very good programs in addition to therapy available for free again sometimes the care manager can help in initiating it and advocating for them there are of certain services available for free it's not going to solve all problems but it's a very good start we've been emphasizing the fact that kupat ezra felt it necessary to literally open up a division specifically for the single mothers and their children and it's one of the things that we've been emphasizing all through tonight and we'll continue to do so throughout this entire campaign who would like to address that specific issue of why it is necessary to literally separate this type of fund to literally separate this group of people in our community in order to emphasize just how much help they need i'll jump in so i happen to sit next to rabbi mashinsky in shul and sometimes you know when there is a case that comes in which has any kind of mental health element he'll ask me i will consult will try to come up with a resource and it just kept on happening again and again and again and usually it's tied to single parenthood and it's just something that happened and i don't know what the national statistics are i don't know how all that works but it's it's on the rise it's definitely on the rise and copenhagen being a triage center where people call when they're not sure what services are available right on so many services and issues people will call right right so they reach out to robert michinski and we worked on numerous complicated cases where let's say there's a parent who goes off to there or whatever it is where or one of the things i do is um with court custody cases supervision all of that that's another whole piece that they have to deal with takes up a lot of time and resources so through that it was it was basically realized that koopas ezra has stretched itself thin and they really need a separate division just for these cases right right randolph what about the uh the last year the whole covet experience that must have put an additional layer of pressure on on every family but specifically this group as well yeah it certainly did and you know everybody was feeling isolation isolated during kovitz so isolation on top of isolation and just to add to the point about the financial aspect of it you know the the obvious sata shava from all single parents is that there's a single breadwinner in the house so right off the bat you're going to have a much higher percentage of single parents who are struggling to make ends meet and i think that's probably a really big one of the big reasons why i think ezra or any organization should have a special a special unit or designation for single parents because it's just almost across the board unless there's some special support that comes from the family a a wealthy family member something like that otherwise typically single parents struggle financially and certainly throughout kovid as people were not working and and there was a tremendous amount of depression we saw with my extended family children were again the isolation really comes through where they just felt totally disconnected we did all kinds of all kinds of zoom programs for kids over the course of that time which all mechanical can say but we did programs we did programs for children throughout kovid and you couldn't really connect that way it was very very hard to really connect with the kids but i think that parents single parents in particular over the course of that period of time i felt a tremendous amount of pressure being home with the kids alone i experienced a lot of single single mothers who told me the father won't take them because he's afraid of kovid or vice versa it goes both ways single fathers have a similar plight just to stay on the record but stuck for months and months and months alone with the kids without any outlet without anywhere to go without any extra support so that added a huge pressure on the family structure whereby first just like um kupat cupadezra is a triage center here in rockland county you can relate you're sort of a triage center with the chicago headset fund for a large community and one where people of all backgrounds are coming to you for help the last year i would assume the demand for you for your services and for your help just went off the charts the demand for we well the since uh we have very good governments they're giving a lot of food to everybody that's true and a lot of unemployment so we stepped in a lot where the mental health part and we started doing new initiatives helping on chicago trying to help out more and more kids that are suffering from anxiety and depression because we saw that it was on the rise as after discussing with all the schools and came with different initiatives to help out but it's definitely a huge problem which we don't see going away tomorrow and even food and government helps sometimes people need to know how to get it and where to go and they'll call you and say you know we're desperate for what's being offered we just don't know how to navigate it right right exactly how to navigate it is right i want to thank our my first rabbi randolph and rabbi newman for joining us tonight and all of you please respond to everything they said how by taking very seriously the situation they've just described us how single mothers and their children need a lot of help financial and other help in our community in rockland county and in many other places but tonight we're asking you to support coupon ezra and specifically their aim habanem fund which goes to the mothers and children who are in this type of situation let's make sure that tonight coupon ezra has what they need for their annual budget and that aim habanem gets off to a tremendous start financially so they can help everybody who's in need the entire panel and i thank you very much now we'd like to present to you the world premiere of a special music video done by nattie brody specifically regarding the aim habbanim fund copenhagen has identified the most pressing need amongst their recipients there are a growing surging group of single mothers that are overwhelmed bringing up their children raising their families without any [Music] support mommy dear tell me please why it is that you cry and when you notice i'm there wipe the tears from your eyes then you smile let me say it'll all be okay but i see how you worry and struggle each day the house is dark cause you're at work when we come home [Music] and i ask for your help you sadly reply i should try by myself [Music] is it hard for you mommy to be on your own is there someone out there who can see mothers and children who cry [Music] corpus ezra has launched a new initiative aim habanem to support those single mothers separated divorced and almonds that are struggling to provide for their families under a mountain of hurt of pain of neglect they need our support mommy dear i can't see that you're happy today there's a check in your hands for the bills we must pay and a man with a smile spoke to me for a while said he'd be there for me like his very own child how [Music] we [Music] may they always be [Music] is an anchor of support for these mothers it is a first stop to call for help when they feel alone neglected and without any resource in the source of our bringing light and joy to these single mothers may hashem permeate our homes with light and joy knock us from our children that we all so desperately [Music] in each [Music] may they always be happy for as long as failing [Music] what an inspiring and beautiful video after seeing that you're probably asking yourselves what can i do to help coupon ezra what can i do to help the aim habbanim fund well for a donation of ten thousand dollars someone can adopt a family and take care of the annual needs for people in this challenging situation but there are also other ways to help there are smaller donations that are welcome and necessary in order to help these families for a donation of 100 you'll be providing milk and diapers and basic essentials for a family for a donation of 360. you could take care of the gas water and electric bills basic utilities for a family each month so whatever you can afford every single donation will be used to help these families in a very practical manner a hundred dollars milk and diapers 360 for basic utilities and if you can afford ten thousand dollars you can literally adopt the family at that rate and help them all year round we ask that you give now go to coupon coupon ezra.org you'll see on the home page a special link for the aim habanem fund that's the fund that we've been speaking about and featuring all night tonight as we beg you and we ask you to reach deep into your pockets and support the families the single mothers and their children who are in desperate situations and need a lot of help you could also call 1-888 mitzvos that's 888 648-9867 and give your contribution over the phone all we ask tonight during this annual asafa is to give give what you can if it's a hundred if it's 360 if it's a thousand if it's ten thousand give what you can please keep in mind the special canvas painting of hayan konievsky that's available at the one thousand dollar gift level and for one hundred and eighty dollars you'll be receiving the art scrolls special edition for coupon ezra from heimkoniewski ontahilum and you can dedicate that donation in memory of somebody or in honor of somebody whatever it is that you'd like to do for coupon ezra all we ask is that you give and give generously make tonight a great success plus the great success that we need in order to keep coupon ezra going but the plus gives some more to make sure the aim habanim fund gets off to an amazing start and that we help single mothers and their children all year round at this time it's with great pleasure that we introduce our first guest speaker businessman and award-winning international keynote presenter and author of the book leopardology please welcome kivy bernhard hi my name is kevi bernard and what an honour and a privilege it is for me to be able to share with you a few words today regarding this incredible organization kupas ezra what a phenomenal organization that was built in the 1959-1960 era by rabbi michinski and mr sam nusbaum phenomenal organization helping over 800 families a year with some five six million dollars of budget requirement and what an opportunity we have to be able to participate and to share and to engage in this incredible mitzvah of providing for all in an abundant and a prosperous way it struck me as i was thinking about this here are two individuals rabbi mashinsky and mr sam nosbaum that identified a need saw that something needed to be built had to be raised from the ground and birthed into the world and dedicated time effort energy and money to do so [Music] and as i was percolating this and as i was thinking about it i was in awe of that which they took time out to build they identified this as a need and they said this we will build and so they have into what is today and i'm just thinking this the world has literally turned our lives upside down covered tragedies things collapsing in front of us the world is telling me that that which we have collectively built over decades perhaps even millennia is not standing the test of time there is an ingredient in there there is something that was left out of the engineering design process perhaps on a spiritual perhaps on a metaphysical level that needed to be in there that was not in there what is that thing what could that possibly be i ask this is it possible that we built houses but not homes we built families but not relationships is it possible that we build businesses that transact but they are void of sensitivity and emotion is it possible that we build customer service that doesn't serve as customers is it possible that we've engaged in human resource all resource no human is that possible and if i dare ask could it be just possibly that we have engaged in religious observance cultural ritual and pursuit that is void of spirituality is it possible that while we know god we don't actually have a relationship with him is that possible is it possible that we are transacting culturally in torah amidst us but we are not engaged in a meaningful purposeful beautiful loving fun relationship with him many years ago i was speaking at an ing conference at the mgm grand in las vegas and as i came into the sound check in the late afternoon they introduced me to a gentleman tall gentleman whose name was mr raymond berry and the meeting planner called me aside and said that's the celebrity hall of famer mr roman berry and being the good south african i am we're the only sports we play and recognize is the game of soccer i said uh fascinating what is that and she explained to me that he was a famous footballer in 1967 played for the baltimore cults and then coached the new england patriots and made quite a mark on the game i was honored to meet him and i came over to him and i shook him by the hand and i said my honor pleasure to meet you mr berry and he said the same the meeting planner explained to me that he sat on the board of one of ing's largest wholesale distributors and went on to share that this event this evening was partly a farewell to him as he retired from his commercial activities but she told me that he was famous actually not so much for his commercial pursuit but in fact for his evangelical activities and a devout christian man who's involved in a lot of evangelical activity and i acknowledged that and i said that's fantastic my pleasure to meet him i went on and i did my thing and concluded my platform and a fascinating thing happened as i came off the platform and went to kind of take my seat back in the ballroom mr berry stood up and as i walked towards the table i was sitting at he opened his arms like this [Music] as if to embrace me forward and encourage me to give him a hug and i did and he held me aside and he said to me the following words he said kivi it is no mistake that god sent an orthodox jew to put me into retirement and i said mr berry my honor we all serve one god [Music] and here's what mr berry said to me he said that's true kivi but the jews have a secret and i said a secret what's the secret he said they have a thing called a jewish mother [Music] this is an age-old secret because the jewish mother [Music] is that mechanism that is responsible for embedding and imbuing this deep deep relationship connection that we speak of the spirituality the fiber the magic of relationship that speaks well beyond the transaction speaks well beyond the engagement of a cultural ritual that soft tissue that connectivity that relationship that love for which it is actually all designed lives in the hands of the mother of a home and what an incredible honor to be able to announce to you and to share with you this huge effort that cooper's ezra has embarked on with the launch of the bonim project that specifically focuses on upholding and supporting divorcees single mothers they are unfortunately a reality in our community and can often feel extremely isolated and sidelined from mainline activity in the community here is an organization that is taking time taking tremendous effort to identify this and to deal with it in a very healthy balanced organized way that is full of love and compassion to bring these people support to bring these mothers the opportunity to imbue their children with this dynamic of spirituality even though the circumstance of their home might not be fully complete or perceived as such what a beautiful thing to support but as we step away from the detail of the message perhaps we can give some thought to the larger message at hand we have an incredible opportunity as we rebuild our lives the world around us our communities our organizations our cities our synagogues and our homes and our marriages and our relationship with our children there is an ingredient that was missing historically which is why things have collapsed around us now is the time to identify that and as we rebuild let's make sure we sew that in let's make sure we cement that into our organizations our schools our schools the brick and mortar is all good and wonderful but what does it feel like what does it leave me feeling after i've sat in your classroom after i've come to your boardroom after i've had a meeting with you after i had dinner with you while i sat at your shabbos table what does it feel like because that is the space and the place of deep connection and relationship may hashem bless us all that we are able to take this wonderful amazing opportunity we have this breath of fresh air that hashem has given us to now re-emerge and build with joy and with passion and simcha and i simply leave you with this a key absolute must that has to come into your new building design my business partner and i always share simcha is not negotiable [Music] the kupat ezra annual budget is five million dollars they are helping one thousand families with that budget and the number of families each year continues to increase kupat ezra needs to designate 1.8 million dollars to help 180 single mothers and their children over the next year if you've designated a specific amount of money to help us tonight a specific sum to give to kupat ezra i ask you and we all ask you to please double it or triple it give more we want to make sure that the aim habanem fund is as strong as possible and the money that's necessary to support single mothers and their children in our community is there for them think about all the things that you know about what kupat ezra does for those 1 000 families in the community that they help all those services are continuing but now we are giving special attention to single mothers and their children that's why we need you to support kupat ezra like you always do but then to give even more to stretch yourselves a bit more so we can continue to add services and help more and more people in the community next up is our div please welcome rabbi naftali of yeshiva torres david of muncie the rambam in hilhes madness anime tells us kolbner if a brother is not compassionate to his brother who is going to take mercy on him the rambam interjects madness annie with a plea from the heart [Music] is our family for over 60 years corporate has been extending their hand each month distributing checks to the most needy in our midst there's a family that grows quantitatively each family expands but a family has to expand qualitatively too and corpus ezra our extended family is growing qualitatively with a quantum leap forward with the establishment of aim habanem ema bonham is here to take care of those single mothers in our midst that are crying for assistance crying for help they need the emotional support much more even than the financial support they need a steady resource that is there to support them as they raise their families on their own the gamora baba basra in daffy udallah shares with us a fascinating story there was an individual by the name of binyamin hatsadik we don't know which town he lived in but in the town that he lived he was the gabet's doctor of the town and he distributed all his money each day each week to the most needy and a woman approached him a woman with seven children a single mother and she said panaseni give me pannasa and he said the coffers are empty the cooper is dry and she said to him if you don't give me pannasa i'll die i have no other resource than you. and binyamin that sadik said to her even though there is nothing in the koopa i'll be mufana's you meesha lee come to my home be part of my table a short while later the gemara tells us that binyamin at sadiq was deathly sick and there in the bathroom shall mila the malachi mala the malachi morim stormed the heavenly tribunal and they came before hashem and the gomorrah tells us they said to hashem how can you let binyamin had sadik die wasn't he mufannus that woman and her children calamatsil nephesh akhas misroyal kilu kim oil molly one person is a whole world miyab the gemara tells us immediately correlates our dino they ripped up his garden and they allocated for him another 22 years the gemara is sharing with us something very beautiful and very deep this pinyamin was distributing to dhaka for many years so much so that attached to his name was the word sadiq he was recognized as a taddic but there is tsudaka and there is tsudaka there's a time where we can allocate resources to other people financial resources and there's an extra middle something very crucial and very critical where we actually step into the poor person's shoes and when benjamin zadek assumed personal responsibility for this woman it was coraline zardine my friends we're on the cusp of ello we're about to approach rosh hashanah and we're begging hashem life takes on many forms yes we are alive yes we want to be nichthav in a safer but there's a quantity of life and there's a quality of life we want to live connected to the source of life and the secrets to which we're going to be given the quality of life the true joy of life is dependent on this very nakuda [Music] this week we read passas ray re-es [Music] and deposit tells us towards the end of the parasha the secret of how we can experience hayom hayao medina on rosh hashanah rather than klala deposit tells us when it comes to yanta it comes to yom tovim we're in a state of joy there are four segments that surround our family table our sons our daughters those that are close to us our employees and then the pastor enumerates another four segments those needy nato the leviathan and rashi tells us hakodesh porho is sharing with us the secret of how we're going to access the source of bracha hashem says there are four around my table and there are four around your table around my table there is the levy the gear the yosom and most difficult of all the al mana that is surely alone that has no one to turn to and in these four segments if you take care of mine i will take care of yours because we're one family and if you recognize bonnie at if you're my children then i'm you'll be might i'll be your children we'll be together one family i want to share with you in closing the words of the meshach beautiful words that he tells us he shares with us in pasha's emma in the sukhum that talk about rosh hashanah we find the cycle of hagim described the mitzvos of each yontav described in pasha's emma and there on rosh hashanah we find vayidaba hashem al-musha leim hashem says to moshe dabal binayi israel layman a day of reckoning a day which is going to establish how the whole year is going to progress and the mesh asks why is rosh hashanah established a day of judgment here at this particular day the first of tishrei there are different rosh hashanahs that the mishnah reckons out and rosh hashanah could well be and maybe better placed around pesach time why was it established the day of judgment on rosh hashanah the first day of tishrei of course this is the hayyom harasolam the day the world was created but deposit tells us much more he says because the passage before where it ends the mitzvah of swoosh interjects with one possuc after telling us that there's a day of schwarz there's a positive that tells us about madness when you harvest your fields and this rosh hashanah is the time of harvest where every farmer is bringing in his crops [Music] you should leave for the poor for the gear for those that don't have sources of support leave them the droppings the clippings the payer the corner of the field ani hashem elokesham says the mashrachmat this posik is placed here because this is the way that we will secure for ourselves a good bench to your a true and if we look in the words a little deeper we can read it a little bit more because the true madness and him here is of course we can give to another person but we take credit for that gift and in the interim the honey is compromised receiving it but like she called matt nassarim is given in a manner that the arnie doesn't know who the benefactor is he's truly a recipient maintaining his dignity and deposit tells us more only and the word taser doesn't just mean leave it there in the field for him but it's from the word provide him secure provide him the emotional support feel for him truly care for him be standing at the distance and rejoicing that he has what he needs to make his yantaf wonderful and then ani hashem alokem and we have the mitzvah of rosh hashanah what a beautiful messer and my brother raboran salzangasund added a very beautiful thought because the gemara at the end of rosh hashanah tells us on rosh hashanah imranai we are enjoying to say before hakodush baruch used to coronate him as our king and the ignorant says how do we know that from where do we know that we have to make baruch who are a king and surprisingly the gemara brings this pasuk ani hashem eloke i am hashem your god make me your god but one second this pasuk is talking about madness and he missed the passing before rosh hashanah and this comes to teach us that no rosh hashanah begins securing for ourselves a good year begins when we take care of the ani and the gay [Music] and if we want to think critically and honestly which segment in our community needs our supports emotional moral support more than anyone else it's the single mothers because they are truly alone we like to defend ourselves we like to psychologically ask why we like to rationalize why we're not there well we have our reasons we don't want to get involved it's hard we have to give an extra measure of emotional support our job is not to ask the whys it's to be wise because when we transcend our rational mind and we're there the bunch of them says if you're one family hashem says you're my family and i will secure and guarantee for you a good bench to you and so as we read this week in the parasha the beautiful words boku tells us to give charity to gifts when there is amongst you and evil treat him as your brother he's the one single brother he's like your brother he's like your family he's one with you perceived it doesn't suffice to open up my hand and provide financial support there's the letter of the law and there's the spirit of the law there's the quantity and there's the quality not so in titan give but give more than giving give the emotional support and aim habanem is opening up not just the financial cooper but it's welcoming the almana and her children to our table so that we're one with them and we can provide a true source of emotional support for those in our community that need it the most and with that deposit guarantees us in this merit will be to a sh vachasimatova not just be inscribed in the book of life but to be hosum to be one with hashem locked in the source of bracha and will be zohar to a year of nakas simcha at the website kupatezra.org with the special aim habanem donate link that's where you could support the new and urgent initiative that helps single mothers with their needs from basic living expenses to therapies and medical help and programs for children who are in these delicate situations give generously there are hundreds of mothers in our community who are trying to do it all on their own they need our help desperately please give now to aim habanim ezra.org and 1 888 mitzvos tonight we have a special offer special gifts for each donation of 180 you'll be receiving a special art scroll edition of reviews you can dedicate and have printed in the book a special dedication in honor of somebody or memory of somebody 180 dollars and you'll be receiving this special edition of the arts girl ravhin kanievsky onto hillen for a donation of one thousand dollars you'll receive a special gishlai canvas of reviews donate now a beautiful gift at a thousand dollars a wonderful gift at 180 dollars we need your help we need your support please give now ladies and gentlemen you've just watched an incredible hour of the kupat ezra 25th annual summer asifa every one of you i am sure wants to give and give generously you want to make sure to keep kupat ezra going and you want to make sure that in the brand new year aim habanen and the aim habanem fund gets off to an incredible start we need your help coupon ezra.org coupoffezra.org there's a special link on the home page for the aim habanem fund coupon ezra is an umbrella organization with so many services and so many stuccos going out in so many directions to so many families but now they have designated a specific amount of money just for single mothers and their children give give to kupat ezra give to amhabanim give twice if you need to give double the amount that you thought you'd originally give just to make sure that both the organization and this special fund get off to an incredible start in the new year i pray that all of us have a wonderful new year and i pray that kupat ezra has to close its doors because they won't be necessary anymore but right now they're very necessary and they're very necessary for the community in general and for single mothers and their children please give make tonight a great success my name is malcolm siegel thank you so much for watching thank you for being part of this incredible stucca and thank you for helping cooper fezra and the aim hubunam fund flourish in the brand new year i would like to take this opportunity to thank and congratulate all the participants in this year's asifa planning and execution especially my dear friend and partner of simcha herbsmann this tireless dedication to our koopa his devotion knows no bounds i would also like to thank him and his wife for sponsoring the commemorative tehelem that will be distributed in honor of the appearance of leia mashulin we also would like to thank the members of our round table panel rabbi first rabbit randolph and rabbi newman for the insights wisdom and ideas how to bring our imah abundant fund to greater heights also i would like to thank at this time our guest speakers rabbi naftali reich and rabbi kivy bernhard for their impassioned speeches i am sure that the virgin has i would like to congratulate you on your masterful performance as our master of ceremonies may your obi-wan to a life full of simra and nagas and as the saying goes health and wealth and time to enjoy it lastly i would like to thank our audience that took the time and interest to partake in this most important dasifa with your outstanding generosity will be able to help our single mothers and their families we can alleviate their pain and help them to bring up their children and see much nachas gazunta as we've recited in the in halal yesterday mikimi may offer dull may all these families be zaika to happiness and joy may we all merit the shechina yerushalayim heritage royal and clay israel never to be alone and never to be forsaken with the imminent coming of mashiach ben haider of the amendment [Music] you