Ari Lesser - Kosher Meat - Shemini - 2013

Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/arithemc Download this song: http://arithemc.bandcamp.com/track/kosher-meat Lyircs by Ari Lesser 4/12/12 I don't eat animals not my style It's been that way for quite some while But if there came a time when I changed my mind I would only dine on the kosher kind No camel, hyrax ,or rabbit meat They chew their cud but got the wrong feet Don't eat no pig rolling in the mud Spilt hoof but he just doesn't chew his cud I don't endorse eating donkey, of course Serve your husband horse and that's grounds for divorce Giraffes are kosher but how the heck Do you know where to shecht on an eight-foot neck I keep the laws of kashrut, my jaws Don't touch no flesh from a beast with paws I don't eat no bear, no canine dogs No weasel, porcupine, or hedgehogs No feline cats, no mouse, no rats No creep bloodsucking vampire bats No monkeys, and no chimpanzees And I won't eat you so please don't eat me I don't eat animals not my style It's been that way for quite some while But if there came a time when I changed my mind I would only dine on the kosher kind I get sick just thinking about carrion picking Buzzards and vultures, I'd stick with the chicken Got no craven for ravens and crows I'm saving my appetite if you're serving those No penguin wing, and no emu leg I don't want no scrambled ostrich egg No parrot, no matter how you prepare it Spare it, I'll just snack on a carrot Take a bite from a bagel but not from a seagull No kite, no hawk, no falcon or eagle I'm ona diet where I stay away From all kinds of raptors and birds of prey No fowl like an owl, with the big eyes staring Won't see me tear into the flesh of a heron No piece of stork on the end of my fork Cause that white meat's kosher like a piece a pork And I don't eat animals not my style It's been that way for quite some while But if there came a time when I changed my mind I would only dine on the kosher kind I don't eat no creepy crawling things No lizard legs and no insect wings No slithering snakes, and no wiggling worms Crawling round on the ground getting covered in germs I'm no anteater I can't stand bugs No spiders, no centipedes, no slugs I'll pass on the cockroach, thank you, please I'll take some honey, you can keep the bees No scorpion with the poison tail No escargot, I don't eat snail Never had frog legs like they do in France I wouldn't try that treif if I had the chance No amphibians, no reptiles No salamander, newt, toad, turtle, crocodiles Feed me chameleon, I think I'll scream And my face might turn from brown to green Cause I don't eat animals not my style It's been that way for quite some while But if there came a time when I changed my mind I would only dine on the kosher kind I'd only eat sea food with fins and scales No walrus, dolphins, or humback whales No seahorse, sea lions, sea snails No crab legs, no red lobster tails No manatees, like the Japanese No nasty sea urchin sushis Sorry, I don't do calamari Squid and octopus isn't for Ari Peanut butter, no jellyfish Put one in bowl and I'll break the dish No prawn, no krill, no shrimp, I still Never had crawdad, don't think I will I don't make my meals with Moray eels No oyster, shellfish, or elephant seals No great white, hammerhead, when I swim I shark might bite me, but I won't bite him Cause I don't eat animals not my style It's been that way for quite some while But if there came a time when I changed my mind I would only dine on the kosher kind