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Are You Chasing Your Tail In Life? - Ki Setzei - The Parshah On Fire
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The Ben Sorer- the Wayward son, is by far one of the most dramatic and puzzling mitzvos in the Torah. We take a thirteen year old who ate a little too much food drag him to court, label him beyond repair and we stone him to death. Why? What did he do wrong? Aren't little thirteen year olds merely immature hungry kids who will one day grow out of their childhood food obsessions? Why are we stoning them to death? The answer might surprise you.
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[Music]
if you were to rank the Mitzvah of the
Tyra in order of most dramatic and
seemingly
inexplicable the Mitzvah of the Ben the
wayward son would certainly be at the
top of your list the Tyra commands
parents to drag their overly gluttonous
son to bezden into the Jewish court at
which point he is warned to stop his
gluttony and he's lashed for not doing
so and if the son refuses to change his
ways the entire town convenes and Stones
the boy to death now this Mitzvah is
strange for a lot of reasons all the son
did wrong was overindulge he stole some
cash from his father to maintain his
habit of excessive eating and true he's
not exactly squeaky clean this guy and
he probably won't end up Mar in the
local rabbi's daughter but how does this
warrant his death doesn't stoning a
13-year-old boy who likes to sit around
all day and eat seem a little harsh
isn't that what teenagers do they sit
around and eat doesn't the rule book of
teenagers consists of basically three
rules stay out of trouble survive
puberty and eat so this boy got a little
carried away and he'll be obese like the
rest of the world okay so what's the
great spiritual
sin secondly why does the Ty go out of
its way to say that the entire town
should be there watching his death when
as we know the tyor doesn't require such
communal involvement in almost any other
punishment if the Tyra wants the whole
town to watch a sinner get punished with
the hopes that the onlookers will be
inspired why does it require it here
more than any other place and thirdly
the tah according to the gamor and
sanedrin da Al Al requires the parents
of the Ben to be exactly the same height
and have exactly the same voice these
are conditions that are not physically
possible why does the T require this why
require something that is not
possible and fourthly the gar says that
this food crazed little boy doesn't
actually deserve the death sentence but
since we see in the future he will lead
an inqu iniquitous life we kill him now
while he is still innocent we put him to
death under the pretext that better he
should die now merely as an overly
gluttonous person rather than later as
something far worse now let's take a
step back for a second since when does
the Tyra command us to play God and
determine who is beyond repair and who
is not what happened to chuva what
happened to repentance what happened to
the concept of people changing their
ways the law of than C only applies to
13year olds the last time I checked most
people don't act the same same way when
they're 13 as they do when they're
35 why are we killing a gluttonous 30
13-year-old for the sins he might one
day commit when it's far more likely
that he's merely demonstrating teenage
immaturity and he one day grow up and
smooth himself
out but the cherry on top of this
surprising Mitzvah is The Bold and
puzzling statement in that same gamar
and San hedrin it makes the entire
subject scream for a deeper explan a it
states that a real Ben serer never was
and never will be the criteria required
to put a wayward son to death are an
impossibility and the tah merely wrote
the mitzvah for us to learn and receive
reward for learning it it's an it's an
impossibility it's only there purely for
us to learn conceptually and receive
reward for learning it huh does that
make any sense what is that supposed to
mean the Tyra wrote mitzvos that are
impossible to fulfill just to give us
something to learn don't we have enough
things to learn does that mean the Tyra
for the same token could have written a
recipe for pumpkin pie merely for us to
learn and get reward obviously not there
is clearly something embedded in the
Mitzvah of Ben s that despite being a
practical impossibility contains a
practical lesson of great importance so
great that it is one of the only places
in the entire Tyra that the entire
Community is charged with taking notice
the question is what is that
lesson so there's a passage in this Zar
which changes our perspective of the Ben
entirely
the says that when the tah talks about
the Wayward Son it is actually a parable
for the Jewish people as a nation
falling away from Hashem it is Hashem
giving us a loud and clear and dramatic
warning that if we fall too far into
gluttonous and indulgent Behavior he
will see fit that we are removed from
the midst of the Jewish people Hashem is
the parent and we are the Wayward Son
the the Z is basically saying that
Hashem is warning the entire Jewish
community of the dangers of
overindulgence and the catastrophes it
could bring the T doesn't mean that
there will be a 13-year-old boy who has
identical parents who have the same
voice and the same height who drag him
off according have been killed for
overindulgence no no no it means that we
as a nation should be extremely cautious
to avoid excessive boorishness and
overindulgence and we should take note
that it is something that Hashem from
early on in our lives wants us to have
no Parton now the question that becomes
is what in fact is so terribly bad about
food Obsession and Indulgence there is
no overt sin that one does by engaging
in such Behavior okay okay so I eat a
lot so I'm very into food you could
still be fulfilling all 613 Mitzvah why
is this the one sin that the tus singles
out as the pitfall the entire Community
needs to avoid aren't there other sins
which are far worse like murder and
idolatry and adultery or other character
flaws which are more pricu like anger
and laziness and
lust so perhaps the answer is this
idea when thinking about our lifelong
battles with the Yara the evil
inclination we often conjure up thoughts
of getting tempted to say something we
shouldn't or look at something we
shouldn't or close our goras or badmouth
our competitors and so on but rarely do
we think of the tactic that is perhaps
used by the ad Sahara far more often
with far more
success the vast majority of Torah Jews
do not struggle whatsoever withholding
themselves back from murdering someone
the same is true with bank robbery or
idol worship the Yater Hara doesn't
waste his time exerting energy trying to
claw us away from Hashem by tempting us
with those sins the Yahara uses a far
more successful tactic to claw us away
from Hashem it's called The Power of
distraction the average toru has a
pretty solid defense mechanism against
sin but few of us have won against
distraction the Y Zahara exploits this
greatly he makes us so focused on
anything and everything that we design
Our Lives leaving little time left for
Hashem sinning is not the opposite of
getting closer to Hashem not getting
closer to Hashem is the opposite of
getting closer to Hashem the way to have
a great relationship with hasem is not
by merely living life sin-free the way
to have a great relation of Hashem is
having a great relation with Hashem by
thinking about him by talking to him by
crying to him by learning his
wisdom much like the opposite of a great
and loving marriage is not a scandalous
marriage riddled with abuse and leading
to a messy divorce the opposite of a
great marriage is a distracted marriage
where each spouse is distracted by all
the glittery things in life that
relegates one spouse to Second
fiddle there are several ways to
distance oneself from Hashem sinning is
one of them but Chief among them is
giving up our mental space to anything
but Hashem taking the precious real
estate in our minds and giving it out to
the buzz and the glitter and the glamour
of the world the majority of us are good
people some of us are great people but
we also like food most of us love food
we also love our homes we love
remodeling them talking about the
renovations and then remodeling them yet
again we love sports so we talk about it
and we listen to talk show host that
talk about it and then we listen to talk
show host that talk about the talk show
host that talk about it and then we
listen to the game we love swimming and
working out we love clothing we love
keeping up with the music we love the
seemingly NeverEnding stream of
increasingly fascinating news all of
these things are inherently harmless and
can actually be used at times as great
Outlets refreshing ourselves to remain
energetic in our service of Hashem but
sadly they can also become huge
distractors in our spiritual climb often
hindering our growth without of us even
realizing it the dangers of obsessive
Indulgence is that it masquerades itself
as innocent permissible activities it is
precisely the permissibility that makes
it so dangerous for far too often the
obset becomes an addictive monster that
chokes a person's godliness right out of
him not that it makes us have a bad
relationship with Hashem it just makes
us not have one at all one can make a
good argument that more than the dangers
and the Damage Done to the Jewish people
by overt sin is the Damage Done by
well-meaning people letting life get in
the way of life and allowing the
indulgences of the world to pull them
down from the spiritual Mountain that
they could have have been on the idea is
so hugely Central that it is literally
ingrained into our very bodies a primary
Covenant which exists between us and
Hashem is forged through the Brisa or
circumcision you ever wonder how we know
where to perform the brism nowhere in
the entire Tyra does it say where the
Brisa the circumcision should be
performed maybe it should be our pinky
maybe we should circumcise our left
earlobe maybe we should cut off the tip
of our nose
so the ra the ran
in cites the Rak who says that the
reason why a bris is performed in its
true location is because hasm wants us
to take the place on the human body that
is most associated with Indulgence and
pleasures and make a covenant between
ourselves and him specifically there we
are establishing for the duration of Our
Lives the preeminence of spiritual
Pursuits and to this end we circumcised
our greatest symbol of
pleasure why is the act of taming our
thirst for Indulgence the greatest
representation of the Covenant between
us and Hashem why precisely is that
what's first and foremost in the life of
a Jew eight days in and immediately we
must enforce and drive home the need to
tame our quest for Indulgence why the
answer is that the desire for pleasure
gets in the way of our Dynamic
relationship with Hashem more than sin
gets in the way we get so caught up in
the pleasures of this world that Hashem
becomes second fiddle of course we show
up to Davin and we learn and we give to
ducka and we shake the Lula and we light
the manura but we often get far more
excited about the schs kiddish and the
Kaneka donuts and the summer pool party
and the midwinter vacation and getting a
new couch and getting an even newer
couch Hashem wants our relationship to
be about taking this awesome exciting
wondrous world that he created for us
and filling it with him uplift it all
not to shy away from enjoying the world
but doing so as a means to develop a
relationship with Hashem to be focused
on spirituality to the point where one
finds it wherever he goes it should
occupy one's mind the most allowing
worldly Indulgence to creep in can sink
the ship
entirely a wealthy businessman was once
driving his new Ferrari down the street
when an old dilapitated
Pontiac sped along and crashed right
into him the impact was so great that
the doors of the Ferrari literally blew
right off and the businessman Furious he
scrambled out of the car and he angrily
screamed at the other driver you idiot
look what you did to my car the driver
of the Pontiac looks at the wealthy man
with a sh a face of shock sir sir we can
worry about your car later your entire
left arm has been ripped off the
businessman look down to see blood
dripping from his elbow and gazes at
where his left arm used to be he then
lets out a heart-wrenching cry no my
Rolex my Rolex is
gone the mitv of the Ben reminds us to
put spirituality back into spirituality
to place Hashem at the Forefront to take
pm and Kana and pesak and Elevate them
from being days of hin and donuts and
brisket to days of bonding with Hashem
to take shabas and ensure that our
relationship with Hashem is what's
dominant and not the craze search for
another piece of potato C
when we internalize the lesson of the
Ben serer We Begin rethinking our
priorities perhaps we don't spend enough
time on spirituality Perhaps Perhaps our
Quest For Pleasure and adventure takes
up too much mental space when we rethink
our priorities we can change we can
become more wholesome people we can then
realize how foolish most of our worldly
Pursuits are and how much more
meaningful the pursuit of hasem is ever
since my youth I had a desire to try
real glacier water water that didn't
have to travel through any pipes and
water that didn't need any filtering
water in its most pristine form so one
year I took a trip to Alaska and with
with unparalleled magnificence and
natural wonders the likes of which are
found nowhere else it is truly one of
the most beautiful places on planet
Earth and I encourage all to go see it
so on one day of my trip I finally got
to do what I dreamed about and I hiked
on a glacier the Matanuska Glacier
wearing special shoes I ascended this
bohemuth mountain of ice and it was in
utter awe of its sheer Beauty and
uniqueness and then the Moment of Truth
occurred the tour guide brought me to a
little hole in the glacier that was
shooting out a small stream of water and
the tour guide looked at me and said you
see that water over there that is
pre-industrial Revolution water that is
water never affected by the oone layer
that is water which people from all over
the world come to try would you like to
try it you better believe I want to try
it I told him so I bent down and I cut
my hand and I lifted to my mouth and I
made a br and I took a drink and do you
know what that water tasted like do you
know what this water water that I
dreamed about since I was young water
that I was told was the greatest tasting
water on Earth water that people from
all over the world come to taste you
know what it tasted like like the water
that comes out of the tap in every
Kitchen in
America all of us have a choice we can
either spend our lives chasing Pleasures
that dominate our every move or we can
stop and drink from the Fountain of God
that is Flowing all around us
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