An Amazing Life Lesson from an Amazing Rebbe - "This is What R' Rockmill Taught Me - By R' Botton

I love my students as much as I love my children difficult thing to say but they're part of my life and I want to thank them for working together with me to become who they [Music] are r abam rockmill spent more than 50 years giving of himself in this institution or he was a mentor special person in his community with his friends with family with people that need help everywhere that's the type of person he was he was a serious person a strong person he was a throwback to a time where we don't have that kind of people anymore he was real he was real in a way that you don't see that type of realness he wasn't afraid to say you made a mistake but at the same time he wasn't too busy to be there to help you figure out how to solve that mistake how to fix it very special person so I want to just share one story from our interaction when I worked for him um I think it's a beautiful story important lesson which I live with and repeat many times to other people so now you'll hear it and hopefully it'll spread in his name this is what R rill marwell taught me so I was new teaching in the program and RAB Ral gave me an unbelievable lesson an unbelievable lesson when I was starting out to make sure that I didn't get confused what I'm there for I didn't get confused what Essence is it all about what's it all about what am I there for am I there to give a nice idea over or am I there to help that student that needs help that wants wants to a connection that wants to solve his problems what am I there for is it to give over a piece of Torah only or is there something more to it and he said like this he said tell you you're going to come and you want to give over a piece of Torah you want to give over a nice nice vort H and you know that's important but years from now years from now what your students are going to remember is not necessarily the idea you told them what they'll remember is one thing which is more important is did you care about them if they felt that you cared about them and they matter to you then you'll make the impression you need to make then then it'll work if it's just anide you're trying to pass over to them then then they'll understand that and it's not going to work that's essentially what he told me that it's about letting them know and of course it must be genuine that you care about them whether it's a program with people that are recovering from issues because of foolish teachers that they had to go through before they got to us or whether it's a program for the elite it's not just about passing over information that's what he taught me now I'd like to add to what he said not that it needs any addition he knew that this was the Ms and the truth because he lived it you know the Torah that we learn is not an idea to learn it's an idea to live and he lived it he learned from experience that that's what's the most important thing and he didn't need a proof and he didn't need to go and find a a great Rabbi that said so because he knew it from life from his own and I agree I'm not arguing but I would like to share a place in the Torah we could find the same idea because I think it's going to add so much appreciation and so much Beauty and power to what he said because nothing speaks stronger and more powerful and more loud Than The Whispers of Hashem that you can hear through the Torah so let's listen up when Hashem decided it's time to write the third book of the Torah the book of vayikra which means that God Called to Moshe when Moshe was comprehended that he God wanted him to write vayikra the word vayikra he said he wanted to voice his opinion and his opinion was that he preferred not to write byra essentially he was trying to negotiate with Hashem we'll give it a very soft term you could call it argue you could call it being difficult you could call it negotiate he was saying Hashem I would rather not write the word vayikra because VRA is a very special word now I'll introduce to you what VRA means if you haven't seen it yet Rashi helps us and tells us VRA simply means you matter you're important and I care about you and that's a unique term that the Angels use because the angels in that Heavenly realm where everything is so beautiful and so clear there's an intrinsic value that each Angel has for the other and an affection to the other and so the Angels use this word byra and Hashem wanted him to Moshe to use the same word byra because it implies that Moshe was important Moshe mattered Moshe was loved and cared for by Hashem in every dialogue that was always present but Moshe being humble does not want the Torah to publicize how special he was he was after all the humblest of all people and he said I'd rather just write the word V without the alar is means like a from the word mikra it just happened Happ it just happened that Hashem happened to be by me and gave me over information he wanted the more simple term that did not imply all this greatness all this appreciation from Hashem to Moshe all this love and affection that's there so Hashem if I permitted sorry if I'm permitted to come into this conversation I would like to explain the way I feel the conversation went Hashem heard moshe's complaint and said I I take note of your suggestion and therefore I'm going to tell you write the AL of the word v smaller smaller you could say that that's a represent presents moshe's humility but what in fact does that alive that smaller do in this story it's a beautiful ending to the story I'll ask you a question who wins in an argument if if you're arguing with hasm who's going to win Moshe kind of argued and who won that argument so I'll show you why Hashem won because said I take note of your wanting to put V but I'm telling you put V but as a note of your objection we'll put a small Olive there and what happens every child that comes to learn the Torah when he gets up to this third book byra and reads that word he sees a very cute cute baby Olive I'm sure on a for five-year-old that's cute very like wow what's that and he's going to ask his mommy his daddy his teacher what's that small Olive doing there and he'll be told that that small Olive is there because mosha was so humble that he did not want to write the word but and therefore there's a small Olive so what happened in the place that Moshe humility caused him to want to take away the olive hasem puts a small Olive and that is exactly the place that everybody learns how humble he was and how great he truly was and so who won that argument MOS hasem Hashem wanted because the place where he wanted to hide his greatness is where we learn about his greatness okay but I want to go deeper than that that is a cute way to you know solve that issue but I want to go a bit deeper and ask this why was it so important why was it in fact so important for Hashem that there be the word v there and notar what's the big difference let him let him agree to Moshe for the sake of humility so here's where I think Hashem tells him like this it's important humility you're right humility is important and your humility is most of all important because you're The Giver of the Torah and that has to be with humility but there's something right now that's more important and even your humility it's more important that the the world out there knows that you matter to me that you were important I didn't just give you information I gave you information but I cared about you and you had intrinsic value to me you weren't just a mailman handing over my words my my wisdom you're you were you were like a child to me and they have to know that the people the world has to know that for two reasons number one when Moshe understands that how important it is he understands that when he goes to teach God's Torah to hashem's people to the children the Ben Israel that they have to matter to him as well because it's not just information that we're passing over so mosu then will teach B and he'll care about them and they'll be important to him and when they learn it from Moshe they will teach it to their children and their students and they'll care about them and they'll be important to them and it will be an unbelievable passing over of personal beautiful information of gods but that comes with caring and connection not just the information and that's the whole foundation of life hill says it in a few words don't do on to others what you don't like on to yourself if I matter you matter and more importantly if you matter to me then what I have to say to you will matter more and so it's not just a piece of intellect it's a piece of me that Hashem was offering Moshe and so too with Moshe he was offering a piece of himself to his students and Ben Isel and so on and so on and that was more important than than the humility of Moshe because without that we become University professors and students that are just regurgitating and passing over our own information and we could drop dead tomorrow and nobody would care and so this is this is something I think we all need to internalize and live with it's not just the idea of knowing what's right it's about first of all doing it living it but it's also about the idea that we are real people with real feelings flesh and blood and we need each other we need each other we need to care about each other otherwise we're just all alone in our own bubble World nobody wants to be alone God says from the first day of creation it's not good for man to be alone he made him a helper someone to help him that he can help and that they can matter to and connect with and share this beautiful world that Hashem gave to us in all its wisdom share it with love with connection and every communication you have with people there's an intimacy there and if it's not there we become robots just mumbling jumbling words out of our mouths there's a connection there's a we matter to each other it's personal and that's how we make this world a better place by making the people around you better and by making real connections