The Secret to Fearless Parenting

A lot of parenting nowadays has become just finding out what our kids are up to. Just finding out what they're doing wrong. And then I know you don't know anything. You know the worst thing this kid did that week. That doesn't mean you know anything. For the parent to create that space, they also need to have a relationship in order to allow that space. And no matter how many parents I work with, no matter how much I see in my own parenting, the child that I have a deeper relationship with, I am less worried about. I am less scared about. Anytime I get the school call and say, "Oh, they got into a fight or they got into this." I'm not as worried. I'm not as afraid about the kid that I have a relationship with cuz I know that kid. It's not as scary. It's not as worrisome. How does that relationship though develop and get built? It's like dating them. If someone were to propose on a first date, it would be inappropriate. It'd be insane. It would be a crazy thing to do. Why? You don't know this person. We're asking these kids to be as vulnerable and honest with us when image to them is everything. Because just proximity does not equal personal connection. Just cuz this kid has been living in your home for x amount of years does not mean that the two of you have relationship. In order to have a relationship, relationships are built on stupidity. Just silly hanging out, having fun, being around that kid you as a parent already have an in.