Talkline Hosted by Zev Brenner with Rabbi Zvi Gluck on tragic death in the Jewish Community

welcome back to the program I'm Zev brener and we have a very special broadcast tonight as I mentioned at the onset of the show is that uh over 77 people uh that uh that are over there that uh 7 77 young men have unfortunately lost their lives since Russia Sha of this year uh because either suicide or drug overdose a terrible terrible situation so uh we are going to be examining that tonight and in just a moment we'll be speaking to T Gluck from the amudam organization he's director of their group they do wonderful wonderful work and trying to work with people trying to work with families but I think one of the biggest problems is we have to educate ourselves our community uh to what is going on uh Jake do we have t on the phone I know he's a should on the phone okay so we're going to be getting him on the phone right now and fact will be calling will be uh we'll be calling him um and you'll be able to call in tonight with your questions in just a moment as well and our number of course to call is 1888 NYC radio that's 1888 NYC radio that's the number to call us and uh yes uh so and that's the number to call and you want to email us Zev talkline communications.com that Zev talkline communications.com an excellent way to get through and reminder of course we're week nights with you on wsnr 620 on the am dial and uh we look forward to communicating with you if you haven't done so please join us on Facebook on Google+ on LinkedIn uh also a wonderful way for us to keep in touch with you with our broadcast our programs and uh we'd love for you to be in touch with us on a regular basis okay I think we're going to be establishing contact right now fre Glock and you know what I believe we have it's we'll patch him over here good how are you H goodev how are you sorry a little phone issues here not a problem by the way I had the pleasure and privilege of seeing your esteemed father at City Hall at Gracie Mansion the other day at the celebration for Jewish Heritage in New York Ator by Edgar G always a pleasure to see him in you're carrying on his good work with your community activities so thank you for being with us Shu shov and thank you for having me and thank you for those warm regards want to begin of course on a sad note I I was in burrow Park the other day when I was told that a young man 22 years old committed suicide on Wednesday I know people are visibly upset about that let's look at that and then unfortunately another tragedy on Thursday you're dealing with this on a day-to-day basis just tell R so what amum does and let's look at the tragedy that took place this week so there's a couple of things amudam as an organization tries to do Crisis Intervention and help guide people to receive help and services that they need um and part of what we've been doing under the guidance of our is to create better awareness so that people can get the help before it gets to uh our doorsteps um so to speak and I just want to mention that you know when it comes to publicizing these types of things it's actually a it's not so simple and I'm just going to say this there now because I'm sure some of the callers are going to have this question there are studies that show that sometimes publishing publicizing these matters may be harmful and there may be copycats and people that may try to do things uh because they hear that others have done it and then there are studies that show the other way uh that publicizing these things will help to bring awareness and ask people to reach out and get help um I'm not a clinician I don't know which one is accurate I know personally when I do send out m emails or when we do do awareness events or interviews such as this we do find an influx of calls of people seeking help and that is really the purpose of why we're trying to do this is to bring publicity not necessarily to speak about the individual cases or the that are no longer with us but if we can use that as a uh you know springboard to get others to know that there is help available and there are resources out there that they should want to do so and by the way I know every time you're on the air you always tell me a lot of people call in afterwards to get help and that's the reason why we have you because we have to educate people about it and there are people who need help may not even know there's a play an Avenue they may think they're alone uh in their problems and when they realize that there are others that are out there in a similar situation and there is relief and help so I think that's important for some of them that unfortunately in this kind of situation absolutely so let's look at what happened this week un fortunately two tragedies took place one Wednesday Thursday let's look at what happened and then we'll analyze what's been going on since Russia sh of this past year um so on the case that happened on Wednesday unfortunately where a young man you know is no longer with us I have to be honest I do not know the specifics other than what the media is reporting uh this is not someone that we were involved with you know either on treatment or on Therapy Services but what we do know is that a young man is no longer alive and no longer with us to share his pain and see what help could be done obviously there was something there the following tragedy which was the next morning or early afternoon rather is a uh young boy that uh was found of an apparent drug overdose um and this has been unfortunately a very common phenomenon it's been happening I mean just so much and we're hearing about it and we just made the decision to no longer allow this to be swept under the rug you know the families are suffering siblings parents spouses children whatever it may be and we need to do whatever a little bit we can to help because of the sensitivity of those issues I would and I know this from dealing with our place where they've had young people also unfortunately lost their lives with drug overdose and drug abuse where sometimes parents themselves have trouble grappling with that and going to a funeral and been participating so you can imagine outside the family it's a lot tougher dealing and grappling that some of the issues that affect General Society also unfortunately affect us in the Jew new Orthodox Jewish Community as well right I mean I'm gonna what comes to mind is the story that uh the great R shalamon has said many times where he said that he was once walking down the street in yush and there was a child that was injured and somebody picked up the child to run to a hospital and a woman walked by and said what's going on here and someone said oh a child you know got hurt and the woman said oh you should have a Ru Shala and as she got closer she noticed that this child was her grandson she started screaming my Meo my Meo we need to save him it's my Meo and that's really what's happening here and that's what's happening here in a regular basis every time we hear about story the story is irrelevant always thinking as if it's somebody else that poor family but we're not internalizing it and saying this can be one of our own and I think in order for us to really be able to do that is we need to understand the awareness and there's a lot of it and we can discuss in detail some of what should be done for prevention but if we really feel that each and every member of our community is our own family which we should then maybe will be able to take the appropriate steps and it'll be in every case my mayoral as opposed to just somebody else's now let's look and analyze some of the fact and we'll get possible solutions at least to try to mitigate the circumstances are the majority of the cases that you're dealing with the 77 since Russia shun are they drug overdose are they suicides are there other issues let's look and see what exactly is transpiring so I'm not in my office as you know I'm actually Upstate so I don't have all the data in front of me on my fingertips but of the 77 most of them were drug overdoses or alcohol related um and then there was a you know a sad larger number of you know suicides as well but most of the debts that we're dealing with is part of this growing uh drug epidemic that is plaguing our community as so many others so drugs is certain important issues to what people now are we also dealing with people depressed are they these people who have evicted molestation are they dealing with some other personal issues that making them turn to drugs what uh because it's not just somebody just using drugs and overdosing there's sometimes other reasons as to why they're using it so you hit the nail on the head more often than not and I'm not going to say 100% of the time but certainly a large percentage people that turn to drugs or people that turn to suicidal thoughts and even carrying it out have suffered a very very serious trauma when they were younger sexual abuse is certainly on top of that list but then you also have madine such as bullying in schools physical abuse severe emotional issues uh you might even have people that have certain learning disabilities and because of that got bullied in school and then turned to other things so there's really a lot of issues that are going on at once and we keep you know in the community beating around the bush instead of trying to tackle it head on but I I'm it's I'm sad to report that yes sexual abuse and molestation is definitely a large percentage of these issues unfortunately I remember there was one young man who came to our studio number of years ago and he was a former member of the sakaa community by the time he came to me uh he was full of tattoos I don't believe he was as observant as he once was um but he was a victim of sexual abuse and that really changed his life and unfortunately he took his life because dealing with that not everybody's able to Grapple with some of those issues it's a very very tough situation everybody is different about them we have to be able to deal with this problem and working with those that have been abused and give them the support that they need um and a lot of times they need a lot of support um and for people to feel to empathize with them if they feel that there's just them against everybody nobody believes them I think that contributes to some of them can be suicidal right so I'm going to actually quote um what Dr schy Zimmerman said recently uh on a you know we did a um speaking engagement uh and there was a whole bunch of speeches for rney had spoken RAB Wallin and Dr Zimmerman and Dr Zimmerman was into something that we've then heard from I believe coined initially which was he would like to change what they write on death certificates from being overdoses drugs or suicides that they should just write the word shame because he says most people that are suffering because of the shame that's involved in it are not able to get the help that they need and therefore that's why they're suffering and that's why they're going down that spiral and I think it wasel salant that had said nobody ever died of hunger they died of Shame and because they were too proud they didn't go out to get the food for their hunger so I think it's something that we need to remove the stigma you know especially with sexual abuse but really with mental illness as well and with other issues we need to remove the shame remove the stigma remove that whole component and then people will be able to seek professional help that they need and they'll be able to head towards the right path of recovery has the stigma been is it something which people in our community are willing to Grapple with to deal with when somebody says I need help I've been abused I've been um been in a bad situation with my family I'm being beaten I just don't feel comfortable I can't be at home are we receptive to that message so it's definitely getting a lot better I mean and there are a lot of resources available for people you know that have the helps I mean just as an example you have relief resources that you know provides referrals to therapists you know mental health professionals treatment plans you have organizations such as mask you know ourplace madreo uh the Manan and Lakewood AR naava I mean you know and there of course amudam but there's so many out there the stigma is definitely being broken and the community is definitely more aware of it but we still have a lot more to go I can't tell you how many times we get calls for help from people and they're always starting off by saying but nobody can know I mean I'm just going to give you an example just recently somebody reached out to us for help their child was a uh unfortunately a victim of sexual abuse and it then turned to a lot of other issues addiction being the bulk of it and needs to go to a very specific treatment program that can treat the addiction and the severe PTSD from have being sexually abused and this is very costly program so we were able to get them you know A reduced rates some scholarships whatever help even get the insurance company to cover some of it but there's still a very big expense and when I was sitting with these parents I said listen we need to reach out to people that you know you know we don't have unlimited funds to pay for these things we need to try to raise it and there is a family member in this person's family that has some money and this person's absolutely not willing to reach out to anyone they know to help because of the shame so and this happens all the time I'm just relaying one story where people are scared to reach out because of Shame and that is why people can't get the help they need so that is what we're trying to break we're speaking with s GL he is director of amudam and we're looking and analyzing unfortunate situation over 77 people have committed suicide or been victims of drug overdoses since Russia Shana just the number of months ago of this year when we come back we want to get your questions welcome back to the program I'm Zev brenon fre luck director of Amud and with us we're looking at suicide within the Orthodox Community 77 since so unfortunately murders suicide not murders suicides uh drug overdoses since Russia sh this year we're taking your phone calls one8 NYC radio 1888 NYC radio email us via talkline communications.com I will we have Rabbi lighter from Muny Rockland County shu to your question for its fre Rabbi ligher are you there yes yes go ahead your question with s Glock yes um could I inject some optimism Al be it at the risk of being a bit premature with regard to the segment of the suicides that are due to molestation I think that in part the battle is not as hard as some people think it is and that's because if we would just take the cases of the known molesters that basically everyone agrees or I've been molesting kids for many years and we go after them full force and thereby put the enablers of those molesters on defense we would be able to make a dent in the molestation crisis that's in part responsible for the epidemic of suicide at least at least at least that segment and that's not so hard to do it doesn't take a whole lot to get the seor aware and opposed to the enabling perpetrated by certain Ron and that are keeping the well-known molesters on the street what's your question with s Glock what do you want s Glock to do what's your question for him well is is is that a realistic strategy in his what realistic strategy through the W is isn't it realistic instead of at least to deal specifically with the segment that that's um due to molestation uh to focus instead of focusing on on every molester focus on the known molesters go after them full force and thereby put their the strategy should be to go after the no molesters full force okay T um your response to that so our answer as follows first of all the majority of molestation occurs within the confines of people's homes immediate family members and close family friends so that's the largest percentage that we're dealing with obviously of course if they unknown perpetrators we need to do whatever we can to make sure that they're not able to perpetrate and hurt anybody else whatever means necessary so agree that step up to the plate and be aware and accepting of these issues and dealing with them and but I will tell you that we're certainly getting closer than we ever were uh but that is a very valid point yes I mean because I think that is a big gap in the anti- mation strategy I think there's a a lot of simple things not being done without any good reason for it that in just maybe because people aren't focused on it but that one strategy would be employed effectively with Focus I think we could make Headway where it's not been made for years okay I think uh he said that that was a good idea and we appreciate your phone call thank you thank you we going to take some email here's an email question from our listener and she wants to know with all due respect how do we know that the statistics Mr Gluck is publicizing or accurate and not exaggerated to promote his cause can they be independently confirmed or do people need to take his word to believe them so do that as follows way to prove it to you because most of of people that passed away are not will step up to the plate and say it happened to their loved one because of the same embarrassing fact but let's assume the number is only one that would you want too much but we know from the main 19 of these cases that have been publicized by the media so let's assume whatever reason I am fabricating numbers which sadly I'm not and I have no reason to um every death is too many anyone can even have that type of question means they don't value the human life of even one person so I find that email to be a little bit unacceptable to be honest with you but I guess it's a legitimate question to find out how you got your numbers so well the numbers came in either through uh people that were friends with the various cadas the medical examiners offices cases that we've dealt with people that have called us telling us few months since we started track and actually giving out the numbers of other people that have called us whenever they about case so that we can keep the statistics accurate we're able to use it to provide uh awareness and warning to others so whether it's people askk or you know organizations on our place that contact us when they know about these issues and a lot of these we know about from our vast Network between the cover the police department the medical examiners offices uh and things of that nature BC writes kudos tolu for tackling the sensitive issue of suicide in The Firm Community does r luck feel that some of these suicides are results of pressures being put on these victims who simply can't handle the pressures of being forced to live a life that they simply doesn't suit them but are forced to do family and Community pressures unfortunately that's me for and that don't do it um tough question those that have you know suicide notes have detailed things of that nature in it um but but just to remind the listeners the bulk of these deaths are drug related so let's just keep that in mind as well I know some of media Outlets are using you know the word suicide to be able to create highlights but we need to remember the underlying and and and the larger cluses as well but we certainly feel there is data to suggest that a lot of the people dying from either of these are you know let's see if we can get a little better connection so we're going to break we're also going to hear the latest news from Israel continue our conversation with s Gluck doing an outstanding job with amudam dealing with tragedy in our community you just heard about 77 people unfortunately lost their lives due to Suicide of drug of Overdose since the beginning of the Jewish year since Russia sha uh 22769 19 25 1925 and it's fre luck is our guest so we'll get to some of your emails right now here's AI Ruben writes from the Lower East Side of Manhattan he goes Shabu to both of you Zev great show as usual the only way things will change is when s luck has his own weekly radio show on as many Jewish stations as possible so that this great s can get and bring his precious message get his precious message over to um hope to Yeshua and as many people as possible why doesn't he have the amudam hour on the air so Zev give him air time on the radio where all and and once know also bad drug over those only male where are the females it's fre so before I answer that question I just want to go back to the original email that I responded to because when we spoke off here I feel I may have come across a little strong I got to be honest I am extremely emotional about these issues and I take it very personal I understand that a lot of the people don't know what's really going on and that's why we're doing these awareness things um but sadly the statistics are true and and sadly we are losing way too many and that's why we're doing this so I do understand that the person that wrote that in doesn't know so I just want to take a moment and say I'm sorry in case I came across too strong um as far as the female so again I'm not in my office I'm Upstate but the numbers are approximately 60 60% % males 40% females uh in dealing with the issues that we're talking about so I don't have the exact numbers I have the exact breakdown at work of how many are from what and over what time period and uh we do this again or whatever I can get you those data or if somebody specifically wants it we can email it to them as well and yes we'd love to see to we do a weekly radio show on these issues it's certainly very very important so AI if you or anybody else can get any people to back it up please contact us and we'd love to see it on I think can be important very important to provide a really vital community service so AI good question here's a one from duid and queens the fact that we have lost 77 precious nishas in such a short period of time is heart rendering Yash to RAB GL for all the amazing work he and Amud do I'm wondering why we're pumping overdoses with suicides is it because we can't always tell whether an overdose is a suicide or because we feel that overdose and suicide has had the same causes or some other reason so the simple answer is because we decided to make a cut off at the age of 35 years old and just figure out how many people are passing away we weren't looking to break it down we're looking to make awareness um yes it could be many times that the overdoses may have been suicides could be not most overdoses we know are accidental people that were clean their body built up a tolerance to whatever drugs they were using and then I just to give a simple example somebody takes a lower dose and then as they become a bigger addict they take higher and higher dosages then once they get sober their body builds up a tolerance again to what would have been the lowest dose but if they relapse they sometimes go back to the most recent those they took which their body can no longer handle and that's a fatal and lethal combination and that is why they pass away so we call those accidental overdoses so the real reason is I don't know what to do I know this is happening I know if we'll lose our kids I know that 77 in 10 months is ridiculous it's an epidemic it's a MAA so we're just out there saying help I don't have the answers I really don't but I know that what's going on now is not helpful I do want to just share with you have a quick story which is one that keeps me going because many times people call me and say you're crazy you're screaming too much you're too emotional you know you're never going to change it so I got to just say one story and I'm going to try to make it quick Zev um we're familiar with Rabbi X from Daria shum right sure does amazing work as well right so there was a story that for many years um people that had children that were born with this horrible disease called TX were sent to special taxs Ward which would be considered modeled you know modern day pain management till somebody passes away there was really no cure and the ward that had the most of these was in Kingsbrook Jewish Medical Center and there was a waiting list for two to three years to get a child into that Ward well not too long ago Rabbi Xin got a phone call from the management at Kings Brook Jewish to come down for an event and when he got there the event was the closing of the ward Rabbi Xin through his awareness through his programming through his genetic testing was able to effectively shut down a ward because there was no longer a need for it I know we're fighting a a really tough battle but we're not going to give up we're going to use stories such as Rabbi exin to give us the ability to go on do we need more prevention programs we do do schools need to be better prepared how to deal with all these issues rabam and teachers need better trainings we do do parents need to be better educated to know what to do when these issues happen to their kids absolutely there's just so much out there that needs to be done and there's a lot that is being done bar organizations like Torah M have really been stepping up to the plate organizations like the safe found Foundation madreo mask so many others they're really doing it of course we had Amud are doing our part as well but we can't do this alone and we don't have all the answers and at this point I'm screaming for help I don't know exactly what that is and if people could get involved in whatever way they can we need to deal with this issue let's we have a few moments left where do people contact you to help to get more information to be involved I mean the easiest is content look at our website www . amm.org or they can call the amudim office at 646 51722 but I do want to be very very clear rev it's not so much about contacting us obviously that would be a good start but if people have resources in their own Community they should get involved with them as well they should just reach out and see what can be done there's so much out there and a lot more than any one organization can tackle okay here's a quick email uh joose of Rights goats for you go you're doing a phenomenal job people in the community don't realize that for every so-called successful suicide there are four other attempted suicides any comment there we're dealing with the ones that committed I'm sure there are a lot of that contemplated that reach out for help and some of them are help correct like I can say that about suicide really more about drug overdoses almost every time we deal with a fatal overdose there are people that Reach Out friends and family that say we have others that have the same problems they don't want to end up like their friend can we get them help can we get them Services now the truth is I'm going to be very very blunt and bold these Services cost a Fortune of money and and I I sort of coined the phrase last week and I should be forgiven for saying this but apparently funerals seem to be cheaper than rehabs and treatment and that's why it's so much easier once somebody dies to raise the money to bury them but when they're begging for help people just aren't there stepping up to the plate and we need to just urge people that each and every life is valuable more than anything else and people really need to get more involved okay we're out of time let's give out your phone number one more time we apologize others we couldn't get to S luck director of amudam wonderful job how can people reach you again one more time so the phone number to amudam is 51722 two and our website is www. amudim a M UD m.org thank you TW luck for the important valuable work that you're doing the mysterious s devotion that you have we look forward to having you back we look forward to those numbers dropping not increasing so thank you absolutely Z let's we all got to do our part and with help from above and help from each other we can try to make sure that we don't have to worry about telling another family that they lost a loved one especially make sure you tune Us in 24 hours day talkline communications.com our 24 a listen line 401 34734 extension number one with to thank you Jake behind the controls join us week nights wsnr 620 a.m. from 7: to 9:00 p.m. and online 24 hours a day Shu thank you once again for listening to the talk line Communications Network I'm Zev brender shalom