Special Message For Victims of Abuse - Rabbi Avi Tenenbaum

Welcome everybody. A good Arab Shabbos. My name is Rabbi Avi Tenenbaum and I'm speaking here from the well of Chana, the mother of Shmuel Hanavi. I hope you could see this. Okay, this is the well. And Shmuel Hanavi himself is buried right above us. And I'm sad that I have to make this message. I spoke to a number of rabbonim and gedolim here in Eretz Yisrael this week and they said that it is absolutely necessary that we use our influence to encourage those who were broken by sexual abuse, whether it's by Chaim Walder or other people, to step up and to get the help that they need and the respect that they deserve from our community and to be brave enough to talk about what happened and to take care of business and to lead a productive, healthy life and we need to encourage them to do that and this is our responsibility to do that and to make our community a place where the people who were hurt ad haya's side in the deepest places will feel comfortable to talk to a professional, to talk to a rav, to put perpetrators behind bars, to receive therapy, and maybe even to have the will to live. And you know, Chana was a broken woman. And when she got her salvation, it says in the sefer Shmuel that she said a prayer. This is a famous prayer, tefilas Chana. And a lot of women who are watching this probably learned about that in seminary. And it says in tefilas Chana makeim me afar dal, me ashpa'os yarim evyonim, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu raised he raises people who are in the dust up and people who are thrown out in the trash, in the ashpa'os, he raises them to very high places and restores their dignity. And that's our avodah and we're here in this world to emulate Hashem. I'm speaking with a broken heart. I feel like crying as I say this. I know many people who were sexually abused and I meet these people all the time and people who were abused in other ways as well. And they're pagua ad haya's side, broken in the deepest level, that people who don't intimately know these people or who didn't have it happen to them will never in their life understand what that even means till maybe they go to the olam ha'emes and it's revealed to them. And it says in the Gemara that Rebbe Yossi, the son of Rebbe Yehoshua, once went to shamayim and then he came back down. And Rebbe Yehoshua, his father, said, "New son, what did you see in shamayim? You were in a very special place and probably privy to inside information. What did you see there?" And Rebbe Yossi said, "I'll be honest, I saw that all the people in our physical world who I thought were really chashuv, special people, they had a very low place in shamayim. And all the people who had a very low status in this world, who people just ignored like the passuk we mentioned earlier, they're in the trash, they're trashy, they're low, they're they're they're they're they're silent, no one notices them, they were in the highest places in shamayim, oilam hafuch ra'isi. And so Rebbe Yehoshua says back to Rebbe Yossi, "You saw not an opposite, confusing world, you saw a clearer world. That's really how it is." And so we have a message for people who were abused, who are being abused right now. We have a message for you that we care about you. We believe in you. And I know that some of you don't even have a will sometimes to live. And doing the smallest things is extremely challenging. Eating, brushing your teeth is a battle. Nothing comes easy. And then there are times that it's easier and sometimes it is harder and there are times in our entire community where we have the most painful, heart-wrenching events one after the other that maybe rubs salt into your wounds and makes you scream in agony. And the worst part of it is nobody understands and nobody's there to defend you and give you a voice. I It's very hard for me to say this all without crying and interrupting the video. I have to be honest. But we want you to know that you're in the highest places. You're in the forefront of our community. You're in the greatest places in shamayim. And you may look not that way. You may not even act religious or feel connected to Yiddishkeit. You may have changed the way that you dress and the way that you behave all because of things that people did to you. And we get you and we understand and you're part of us. And we are extending a hand to you. We are extending our understanding to you and we want you to join us. We care about you. And you can be part of us and you're brave and you're courageous. And what has to get done needs to get done for your sake and for other people's sake. And so we need you to be brave and to be strong and to feel comfortable and supported that we're going to listen to you. There are people in our community that care about you. They care about what you have to say and if you need therapy, get therapy. And if you need tools to learn how to live with more quality of life and to put life back together from the chaos that was caused by bad people who did things to you, there are great tools and there are organizations and there are rabbonim and there are survivors and there's a whole group of people that will reach their hand out to you and take your hand and you're not alone. I had to change locations cuz some wonderful people are coming to be tivel here erev Shabbos. Just to continue and to finish. Some of you have it easier and some of you have it harder. And some of you barely have a shred of will to exist anymore and especially after the difficult things that you've heard from our community. I want you to know that a lot of people go through that in life and you're not by yourself. And they have experiential wisdom and strength and hope to share with you. Find those people and find professionals and find rabbonim and find the parts of our community that understand you in an and and support you. I remember one of the hardest times in my life that there was a quote that for some reason of all the things that I learned and all the things I ever heard, this gave me a lot of encouragement and it doesn't have to mean that it will for you. But somebody once quoted, "It's not about how hard you can hit, but about how hard you can get hit, but keep moving forward." And it's like life is in the ring with you in a boxing match and you've been beaten over and over and over and over and not believed and not listened and swept aside and thrown into the trash. Thrown into the trash and shamed for it, too. And we're here to emulate Hakadosh Baruch Hu, me ashpa'os yarim evyonim. We get you. We understand you. We care about you. There are resources for you. And if you want to win the fight, it's not about how hard you can hit, but about how hard you can get hit, but keep moving forward. Be resilient. Be strong. And why should you? You've been through so much. But know that life is a gift and life is precious and it's not ours to take. It's the biggest mitzvah for some people in this world just to stay alive. And I hope this video reaches them. It's pikuach nefesh to get up every day and just be. That's your mitzvah. That's your lulav. That's your tefillin. That's your Shabbos. That is the greatest mitzvah that you can do in this world is just to exist. And we're holding your hand and we think you're very brave at the forefront of our community. We wish you a lot of success and we're going to pray for you in our hearts. That's nachas.