Pillars of Chesed

foreign [Music] welcome to this wonderful evening of unite to heal in support of amudim I have the honor and privilege my name is Rabbi Rafi lipner I'm the rav of a schulher sharifila as well as work in the uja as the senior fellow of strategic Jewish enrichment and because this is amudim I'm honored to be standing here next to two amudim two pillars of the Jewish people one Rabbi Grossman who has done work which is literally unbelievable in transforming what was once just migdala amec the valley into mgdala or a valley of light with the unbelievable ability to transform a community with just 18 people turning into 6 000 and more and we've been seeing heitner who a little boy in New Zealand eventually making it to the mainland over in Sydney and then coming over to Toronto and is in his own unique and quiet fashion transforming the world through his generosity and philanthropy we're just going to have a candid conversation uh this evening it's an honor for us to have you with us and it's an honor for me to be able to be sitting here in this room with both of you so sorry for myself to a certain degree what happens at the end where you are now started somewhere Rabbi Grossman it's uh no secret what you've done to transform the Jewish World The Narrative Israel and Beyond and perhaps maybe you can take us through how it all started I've been born sixth generation in you Showtime and I grew up in my home that all speakers are undecotted the Western Bowl because my parents and grandparents they grew up in the whole city and they used to be connected with the Western Mall between 1948. till 1967 you can go back to the old city because Jordan takes over in every jewel is living from them coming the six day ball 1967 before the Evolve everybody thinks that Israel is finished because five nations attacked in one time Israel Egypt Iraq Lebanon and John everybody that has a passport left Israel because the thinking finish God makes a miracle in six days Israel succeeds everybody come close to Cairo to damesco in Lebanon in the most important Take Back The Old City you show life was two weeks after evolved the 10 o'clock in the morning the hour may open up the gate jaffogate 100 000 people waiting to go in to see the cotton I was between the hundred thousand people I was my age 10 was 22. running to Dakota coming to the cotton I can explain the feeling is like Michelle you know no votes explained I stayed there I cry and I say to myself what can I give a thankful to God for these miracles ten days before everything everybody thinks he's finished you step in the cotton what is the most important for God the most important is his children God created the whole world but he says mind kisses are Messiah in this time was the worst city in Israel crime dogs many many hard cases I control right bye but this is the fact was like very very bad I decided I will leave you with your name leave the hasidim my father was buried holy men of big Russians I will go for one year but until myself and this Hulk place to walk with the youngsters This Is My Mind I was very close to the level I go after them you know hasid is doing only what the Rabbi says yes come to my mind I want to give a gift for Hashem thankful I want to go says go and you will be success thank God my wife is ready that I go it's also a big miracle because the big Dynamics and soldiers in this time they lived there they're ashamed to say they leave them I come to McDonald's I was naive come from you know every building is a shiver a caller that albertora you know mayor Sharif I come I never think that it's not exist I ask somebody who is this colon what can I find the youngsters to send the Disco disco I never had disco in my life I go to the Disco Yeshiva I come in and I see pull them in the middle of the day girls boys dancing great blog they see me coming past you know uh shots they showed that somebody died I look for Kadesh for Minion what you're doing here I say come here I leave you shall I I want to be with you you my brothers I decided to live with you together I can't believe but for this moment became like armaged between me and the youngsters I used to go every night to the Disco it may have my apartment in Canada and then when I at my apartment there and then the apartment my apartment became the Disco Friday night in Charlotte coming in and then somebody tell me my brother's in jail I say your brothers my brother let's go visit your brother I come to Detroit 400 prisoners I go in I can't believe you know you never have Moshe Jacob Jewish boy is in climate I go to the Head from the jail and say I want to come twice a week here to learning many business I don't ask for money I want to volunteer I started twice a week to learning Pilkey about you know about this is easy stories the prisoners to learning they see that this prisoners that in this program they started to behaving much different much better and little by little they became very famous by the way I go only for one year for volunteer I'm stuck there thank God 54 years and until right now sitting here may have been all present in Israel more from thousand prisoners every day in all prison in these programs every day every every prison in Israel you have a place that landed calls me Russia we have hundreds of balichube they say that is the most success program 80 percent don't go back to Jain from this walk in Jane in the streets and in The discus common understanding what happened this is Jewish boys why I understand these kids never receive love never the civic education if he will take him at the right time but the 10 11 and give them love and give him education they can't be their best kids rabbis lawyers doctors from this idea I started Miguel o in 1972 with 18 boys today made more from 25 000 graduate and this make a revolution the evoking many boys and the girls in the streets make little by little that the whole city change themselves so the EM that's that's unbelievable um you know the impact you can read about it in the book the stories that happen but it's amazing because it's not just like one day it all happens on its own but it's amazing that your journey started with something I occurs at 12 of seeing a miracle and almost like I'm hearing a call from a college worker that there's Allah you got to start moving and doing something I'm sure your story is unique in terms of you know how you why you even came to Toronto of all places to land but more importantly uh you know how you became such an OA Israel and an Oscar in Israel and see it as your really your life's work at this point just to find a way to be able to give and help Claudia Soul no matter who no matter where well my story is substantially different than or by Grossman's um but the yadashem was always visible my story is a a very unusual one I see myself as sort of a post Holocaust child and both my parents survived the war and their families were decimated completely wiped out my mother only had one sister who survived a partially very young and to just to show you the time and the distance my oldest brother was born in Krakow Poland in 1940 end of 1945. and my brother Yitzhak and I were born in Wellington New Zealand so my parents wanted to get away from the Holocaust my mother still had in a that from her parents that even the stones in America a trife are not Kosher and believe it or not we were sponsored to the Red Cross to to go to New Zealand they found an uncle in New Zealand who sponsored them and the other Hashem was always there it was always visible my parents realized that to bring us up and there was tremendous mysterious Snappers my father had started built built up a business in New Zealand and he became very close with a robin in Sydney or Vidalia Hertz overshorn who ended up becoming Russia Rim we had tremendous rabbis in Sydney and he convinced my father to pack up and move to Sydney and um the story just keeps on going on so I grew up in um in Sydney um I went to a to Mariah College which is a mixed primary school and my robe at the time felt that I should go to a non a non-jewish high school which is not mixed he felt for a teenager it's not the right place to be in a mixed environment and I ended up going to volklift boys high which um I think if anybody's read at Harry Potter it was like a um mini Harry Potter Harry Potter I don't know but it's a it's a it's prefects and caning and and it was like you know School ties and uh it's the whole the whole nine yards of a of a different time but um I it was a small group of there was a very very small island from people but I was always very proud of it we used to wear little caps nobody did and um I was always proud the fact that I was different I knew that we were different and my parents always supported us and sent us off to Yeshiva in a time when hardly anybody did and we were there for many years and he sent us off to Cultura which one of the most famous rabbonim unbelievable numbers of one of the leaders of our generation of noivert with Dalia Eismann the people that came out of Cordova the rabbis and they come from Australia and to be influenced by it and to have parents that supported me and I saw what it is in a serious Snapfish for Yiddish kite I saw it in my parents I thought in my father and um they sent you away there it's not like today yeah you have to understand that in the time it wasn't a time of mass travel it was the time where um you we send error grams all the time we I didn't see my mother once for a stretch of two years and and my parents were comfortable um it just wasn't done we were road all the time we communicated I never it's interesting Robert Grossman is talking about The Six Day War and I was unfortunately I can't have to be unfortunate the time period I was there for the Yom Kippur War which was a very very difficult time for Israel trying to reconcile the number of losses and and the feeling of high that was left over from The Six Day War so there was a substantial change in Israel but I never left I never even thought of it my parents I don't know why when people look back why didn't you leave my parents never thought I should and I was in Israel and why should I leave even though the situation was for a time period was quite uh quite dire anyway I I don't know the whole story of mine seems so unusual so I completed several years there I went back to Australia I qualified I was meant to be a dentist and in Australia you couldn't there's no undergraduate course you go directly into medical school or dentistry and every year I had to reapply there's no deferral and the average Mark kept on getting higher and eventually I was rejected for I wasn't accepted at the Dentistry school maybe so I said to my father I said you know my father said study accounting so I said to him every full as an accountant my father said if that's right so you'd be the fool also I mean um but he understood I wanted to go into his business and he said no you study first have a degree what you have studied nobody can take away from you and as a result I qualified and I went back to learning I went to England and I sat down the coil where I met my wife from Austria not Australia um I always say the Matchmaker thought I said I want to go from Australia and he found Austria instead of potato um we end up getting married in London I was learning then and my wife's sister got married in um in Montreal to one of the one of the children of rafirisbrong we came to the wedding and I came to Toronto in the spring at the nicest time and I had a job offer and I was offered a job here by Aaron Frankel who also was an amazing philanthropist and I after one of the largest Encounters of Sandy hofstadter I was in charge of the account and he said to me one day he says Bern you're not an accountant you're a businessman you're an entrepreneur and he encouraged me to go into business and first business actually did not succeed and he actually invested in that business and then another business arose which was partnering with jungle Feldman who's actually being honored now by the coil here and we started off a business I never ever had dreams of Grandeur of huge dollars and we struggled for many many years but throughout the time for some reason burnish line was giving a taking us in a certain direction and five years ago we sold our business for a unbelievable amount of money so I thought again as my obligation since the burnished on them has had so in such a circuit which route brought me from Europe to New Zealand to Australia to England to Canada and I need to give back and so I try to support Thomas this around the world I try to obviously support all the meister's in Toronto and I try to become involved personally my parents were believed were very much of the belief you know do work ethic just don't sit down do help try to do things to change and um thanks my parents and abonish line them I have this close to be involved in so many meisters and I had the pleasure of um of meeting of We Were Meant to anyway we ended up meeting up in Myron I at this time I went I had the outside to my father and I have a friend of mine Dove cook who's a Big Mac Cobble he was my class and I went to see him and then I wasn't sure should I go to migdalaime question I go to mayron I said make as a building or you know I can always meet Roy Grossman so I went to mehron and who do I meet in Iran I mean to my Grossman so um wanted us to meet so um the whole story is one is a story of verbena directing moving the pieces without us being aware of it but the most important what he says is give back if somebody remember the receive then you remember that you need to give back if you think that you build this you big yourself you know the sea from somebody also this is you know understand that you need to give the old idea from Judaism [Music] you receive somebody something say thankful you have other shall call me though your bread the whole idea from blessing is that you understand that somebody that Karishma who gives you and you need to thank him you understand that you receive but the part I think that we can focus on for a second which I think is is unique uh with both of you is the unconditional giving to any and everybody I mean I've heard a story I'm a blessed with eight kids I don't remember most of their names within a couple of seconds on any given day I've heard that like every 6 000 of those kids you know their name what's up with them how they're doing and repencian you know they very often people say okay this is this is my project or this is my community what I support and uh one of the amazing parts of your reputation is that it we're all part of kalists like we're all part of the same where do you attribute that obviously strong the time when people say avas Israel to Lithia is to live obvious Israel like that no matter who and where they come from where where does that come from I think the the point is if you believe that you live for God you say every day in the morning I thank you God that you created me for you I know if you remember that you live for izano his honor is that you leave also for his children I want not to take the time I say my Roshes one time that was a father he has two children in Israel one is one is is Rich one is full and there's a son in America the father sent a letter to his son the rich man in Israel he lives in kisaria he says your brother is going to be Mary come to the wedding take also your brother that lives in McDonald's and everything what he will spend for mine honor I will give you back this is the father writing to them this son became a letter you're going to take his wife to a boutique in in biod in ice clothing the kids the Nice Clothing for themselves but his brother can let them know this and this day we're going in the plane to the wedding but you don't buy also for his wife or his children the clothing and everything only let them know this day is coming to formulas go from airport to America Kennedy Airport the father and the old khatanic his mother the old debating first come up the the wife is Boutique the kids the fathers this is why children are beautiful then come up the underwater you know looking very bad father became shame what can he do to the Sun finish the wedding this son from kisaria waiting for the check is you know how much cost me the boutique and the other thing about them the father says you're a bigger boy you will both Carlton you will pay back says but you promised I promise you yes show me it takes the the letter let's say them let's let's read together that's it what he says everything what you will pay for me for my honor I will pay you back if you will think of mine I know he will also take your wife the brother's wife and the kids and do everything what you spend for you one I never promise you that I give you back you need to take care of my old children and and the two is every Jew is connected with God I say every time not not exist a religion is not religious right left every Jew as I can stay for hours explain you to show you to the left guy if you come and speak them to the right words he is a feeling they're connected they will do everything and this is our system our soul means that you love Hashem if you love Hashem you believe that you're living in this world is to make then you understand that every Jew is important you need to give your life for them do you have anything to uh I know I wish I could say I had I went to the top you see this I met the biggest but I think it was instilled in to me from my parents um my father was always trying to help other people constantly giving loans to people and giving loans to our Bonham and he had an attitude I once asked him I said do you expect to get paid back this line he wants me to learn to Rabbi he says you have to understand when I make a loan and I don't mean this against rabbis but he says when I make a loan as far as I'm concerned it's a donation and if I happen to get the money back then it's uh then it's a plus but I don't make it in order to be so I I was instilled with the idea of of helping my father was intensely zionistic after after the war as was a lot of people affected by what happened and yet when they told the silent River came to Australia my father was one of the first to go and support him who ideologically was obviously very very much to the right my father felt you have to do have to help and it was instilled into me from a very young age so I've never questioned the need to do that I think it has to be instilled in you as part of your I'm sure everything else reinforced it but it's all from my from my parents I want to say because you remember to give mine on my father also I grew up in Jerusalem they all apartment is 70 meta seven all men are machine is very small 10 kids 10 kids and 70 metal in the 50s arrived in Israel the yemenis no immigrant from Yemen Israel government in this time put them in a rosheim they have not money to build them homes they build them tents you know they stay in the detains vintel called they come with many kids and they stay in the sense my father my mother take a little a little cow and go to them and say if you have not a place for your children right now we have a place in you should I if they bought five kids bus besides them and I fought three years I sleep with two yemenas in one bed in one bed and it was a better eyes in the bed because you speak this is today you can have 20 20 what you call the rooms and if somebody comes to you and is afraid that you stay you stay when you go you need a taxi to leave to live he has no place in a 70 metal in the morning move ten kids more five kids but in terms of the concept of everything seemed like oh this was the natural path um was there a moment at any point where you're just like you know what there's there's just too many things out there and it's too difficult and you know you know that we say you know in plural but I like to be someone who's always on for other people and there's so many needs and I'll never really you know make the difference that's necessary there'll always be more or in terms of I can't imagine the obstacles you had to be able to get into you had to learn how to dance at the Disco you had to figure out how to get through jail systems in governments and people that were probably you know against you when you came in there saying we don't want that was there a moment through any of that Journey where you felt in a very real sense you know what like I just don't you know I'm done or you know maybe I'll take a different path everybody has their moments but the Evolve all this isn't the sereness this is testing God test you the whole thing is not to give up I have your example here is sitting is coming a special Isaac I met this boy when he's 14 years old in Montreal no father very problem so very hard and it was very very important to make it Allah I make and with him himself I go through many things and today is a big teacher and he's a vocal there's only one example of course you go to very hard things sometime comes but every time you need to a husband can say try again try again try again in the new success I find azerbai Grossman said different stages of Life have different ucinas there's a sign of poverty and I I think in a certain way I know it sounds the more difficult one is the Nissan of Aisha bashiras it's um it's I have boracashema agave stalker who helps me out Marty Meyer and um I said every day and every day I'm challenged for example do I give a lot of money to do I give some money to a lot of moisters or do I choose a few key ones and give a lot of money to them and hardly anything to everyone else these are all the sionists I have every single day I have necess when I sit down and the people know that I can I can give large money so everybody comes to me and and has dollar signs in their eyes and and it's it's a challenge it's a challenge to hold myself back and then they become a bit rude or abrasive and minus Zion is to smile and uh and uh and not to it's a challenge and every single day when I sit down so but I make a point what I try to do is I've got my garbage stock over I try to go through every single case when I'm in town I try to see every single person and a lot of people tell me that it's um I should not do that and I should give it over to the gov it's a Docker and just meet the Russian shivas or the larger institutions but I think it keeps you grounded when you have a simple person that's coming and has to make has has problems at home and some of the issues and minus sign is I I can't I can't listen to them it's painful and a lot of times that every morning I I they walk away I said I hope he's lying because the the stories that that the the the lives that some people have the challenges in wives and children and financial difficulties I just overwhelming am I my heart goes out to everyone and I'm like how much can I can I make a difference and I try to but that's a challenge in this sign it's a daily test and it doesn't get easier it's not like you know suddenly oh you know sort of every day and they're burning some sin somebody else that will somehow test me in a different way and so so maybe we have time for one more question I think uh you you know in many ways I think that the generation of the 20s and the 30s and the kids like when they come in and I know that when you get involved you like to bring in the Next Generation as well I think that's you know one of our most important challenges and opportunities as like you know Hashem you both look in your 40s but uh you know years have been going on and we have the Next Generation that's coming up what's the advice that you can give as people are thinking about whether they really can go ahead and make a meaningful contribution and not not everybody's story you know will look like yours and everybody's on their own journey and uh you know we believe that every single individual has a role to play in the investors unfolding plan what would you say to you know a 20 year old who's starting to figure out like what am I going to really contribute to Claud Israel what's the most important thing for me to keep in mind I don't know if you can say something clearly everybody else is time that he has he can do something he can do something his neighbor his friends is is formerly he he lives in a place that living he can understand that people needs help in spiritual and physical if he will kill he will think what can I do and when everybody can know everybody the whole idea is to teach him don't live for yourself remember that your life is not only for yourself God created you for ambition and if you will have this feeling your everyday like your consensus every day you will have a chance to do if you want to do but there's actually you will find a way all I did teach yourself that you understand it the Judaism is was like Robert says love you brother like you love yourself if you're put in and then you will find everybody the very 12. there isn't much I can add I think um every person and whether it be in the religious or secular at that age of 20 years old has that challenge of 20 or the 25 or is it a curling amount of 30 where do I go from here in life it's uh and you have to I think this comes back down to Bitter and you have to understand you have to say will be there for you you can't plan your life you can't the boyish lineman if you would have asked me um you know 45 years ago that I'd be sitting here being interviewed by you I would have said you you know and you're not there's no way it's possible so you have to have the token tell people have the token and a bunch will you'll find a path it will become visible not always is the first thing you do successful and that in itself is a lesson not being not being successful is also a lesson there's also a stage I started again this you know this business when I was 39 40. so I mean a lot of people would have said you know at that age I would have never expected a completely new Direction and for many years the first many years we were struggling I mean everybody you know I tell people was a 25-year overnight success but everybody today wants instant success that one talks about unicorns and you know after one year you're worth a billion dollars that that is the challenge that people realize that takes time and don't expect everything instantly and banish line will show you have the token and you you'll find your right path in life honestly we could sit here all day you know from lessons of be talking realizing Atlas and Chloe's role I think on an evening tonight with unite to heal I think this is really bringing both of those together it's an evening where we heal and realize that Clyde's role needs help and we unite around that and realize that everyone no matter where they are and this is what omudim stands for no matter where the person is who they are what background they're in everyone has challenges and needs and we're blessed to have amudim pillars like you and our community who understand that and we're blessed to have you support such a wonderful cause on such an important evening thank you for joining us and uh I hope we can get together again I know that you didn't anticipate somehow that one day you'd be sitting being interviewed by me like you said but I know that I didn't anticipate ever being in the room with uh two gentlemen to Rob Raven Robinson heidner like both of you that's my honor thank you thank you thank you foreign [Music]