Ep. 65: You Want To Be Shpitz Chabad? with Rabbi Zushe Winner

He's standing online and as soon as the person is going to come out going to give him a sign go in he tells him as soon as he comes out go in and then as soon as the next one online would go in so mean the person's waiting line by the door by the muza standing and he's waiting for someone to leave he's next I used to love to watch the faces add in the idle upon him it's mameish he can You going make have watching the guy be on his neck. I'll give you a dma to that. Watch the faces next time. Watch the faces of the people who are writing the settle. It's inspiring just these people writing putting a paper and they're thinking what they're writing now to the Reba has a their face is a different it's a different person this week is the yard site of the Reb's mother Sakana as a day comes closer I would like to bring your attention to Ken Kana Kana was a fund established by the Reb to assist women and girls with tuition for education in to learn more about this. Stay tuned later on in the episode for more information. If you've been enjoying this podcast, please like and subscribe so that others can enjoy it as well. In addition, if you've benefited in any way from a monk podcast and would like to give something back, you can do so today at their.org/donate. I'm Yasi Cayman. Welcome to among an ongoing faban about life as our vibrant connection with the rebba and inspired living shaped by the way he teaches us each and every day winner. How are you? >> Okay, thank you so much. It's a pleasure to have you here and let's get right into it. Who is Rabi winner? Where were you born? Where did your parents come from? have the winners come to labavich. [sighs and gasps] >> My uh parents, my father was and uh in Europe and uh for several generations there was over there in Slanim and uh he's holocaust survivor. both my parents Holocaust survivors. uh he was born in a city called Mir famousa still exists near New York and he learned to mir but in Mir there were two uh communities there was shul was bigger uh Zman Shazar's family Davin over there he writes about it in his autobiography and it was also Islam and my father's family who were several generations already there was uh when World War II broke out a lot of the mere yeshiva went first to VNA and ended up in Shankai and my father was still single so he went with them >> he wasn't learning in the ministry >> he wasn't learning he learned for he learned for a couple years in yeshiva He also learned there was a yeshivan besides the yeshiva had their own yeshiva and he was uh he was learning over there also and uh then they he left when the war broke out he left he left uh Poland his family lived in Warsaw they were born in Mir but Mir became After World War I, Mir became part of Poland. This this enabled them to move. They were business people, wellto-do and they moved to Warsaw and um World War II broke out. He was in Warsaw and he escaped Poland. He went to Vilna. And there's the the well-known story of uh miraculous uh escape how they left from uh VNA through Russia to Japan and then to and then to Shanghai and he was he went he was part of that whole >> which is also part of the labavage story also. >> Yesim lab of a big chunk also took that route. He he knew some who were there tak in in Shanghai and some of the rebies in Betrid also knew him from uh from China and then he made his way here to United States. So that's the background of my father. Eventually we moved to Kan Heights and >> he got married here. >> He got married here after the war and he sent us Shiva. >> So where was your mother from? My mother was born in Mkach. uh it's was Czecha Slovakia but really it was um Hungarian and her family also for many generations were also you know and >> so actually um her from she was born in Mukkach and from her mother from her her side her parents were a few generations Mukachidim her father her father was from Hungary was he learned in he got uh what they call it from but they were really a lot of a lot of Hungarian used to go to Tans to Poland Galitzia and then one of the Tanz sons became a reb in Hungary so they're really tanidum So which is a it's less canoi type of more obviously and so on but they were also he used to travel every tok um with one of his sons. So yes there were both my father and mother were from families and this idea of sadikim and being with strong >> them. So they lived in they got married here in America. >> Yes. My my mother was in Oshwitz and she survived Oswitz. She survived the war. Uh much of her family was killed. Her mother and sisters were killed in Ashwitz. A father in a different camp but she survived the war. After the war she came here and that's where my father and mother were introduced and uh they got married. >> And where were they living >> originally? They lived in Williamsburg. So I was born in Williamsburg and uh then my father was a businessman here and uh and uh they eventually moved to Crown Heights. It was called then Crown Heights for a while. It was called Bet Star. You're talking about Park Place and Norins. to only on the other side of is >> the other side of Parkway. In that area um eventually there was in the apartment houses that we lived in there was there were a lot of who lived there the Pinsons the Lipkars the wine garden Wilhelm uh and there was Bab had a had a big community over there other schuls. >> So you already said that you went to Bedford and Dean. How did your parents decide to send you there? >> That's a good question. Um my father was as I said family and he was born in Mir is really it's today Bellerus which is a litfisher type of uh setting the real old school Russian litfish yiddish and um he got to know Labavich. He got to know Labavich from even in Europe. He got to know Labavich >> in in in Poland. >> In Poland, he heard about it. He got even more to know in in Shanghai. But also he had an uncle that became a labure already in Europe. Uh Shamshin Zilstein. He is buried near the oil. His wife that that which is my my father's aunt. She was a vener. She's in the first row of the women's section when you go to the oil. The first row you see and uh they became I think still in Russia, Poland. They originally slaughter but they became lababer and and they came here to the United States I believe before the war and uh they they were they lived in the Crown Heights. He used to be uh by the but more he was more active by the so he knew about Lavich >> your father >> my father also it was known that Labavich is mid neff and um he he believed and he said this to some people I heard that in America to to stay today. We take Yiddish in America. There's Yiddish, big Jew, yeshivas and Kashus and Jewish community is flourishing. But you have to understand the people who lived before the war. America was Medina and to keep Yudishkar in America. There were a lot of um siblings and family members from uh the best families so to say families even that when their sibling or relative came to America they lost it. So it was biscious yiddish in America was sort of say biskas and he believed he said some that the kindavich I think he was also give me influence following aimer saying that and repeat um you know that when the will who broke out. There was uh an agreement between Stalin and uh >> Hitler >> and Hitler and um they split Poland. The Slunder Reba then and his is yeshiva was in Baranovich. That section was taken over by by uh the Russians. That Russian took over that chunk of Poland. All the that were there knew that's big trouble because everyone heard that in Russia they closed all the yeshivas they they they fired all that abundant from their positions and shocked them. It was big problems. So everybody knew that. So now that Russia is coming into Poland that's that's going to happen. So at that time there was a reba they called him the youngerba because his father died relatively young and he was maybe 20 years old about when he took over but he was a big oid and they respected him. uh when the Russian army came into Baranovich, he he wanted to speak to a Yiddish uh soldier or Yiddish Russian officer what's really going on in in in Russia as far as Yiddish. So the Slan say that uh they found a soldier and probably an officer and they they brought him to the says new what's going on it's with the guy says they closed everything the sh the everything everything is closed so he said is there anybody still left so yes still in Russia are snafish they're holding they're still holding So the Slim said I Lavich you know like wow Lavich so this was known >> yeah interesting it's called even though in one of the story where they have it they took out the word labavich but I seen earlier edition >> what did they replace it with um the only way that you can stay from Russia is near the >> okay >> but he actually said, "I Lubavich." Um, and so he knew about this for sure. >> Your father >> because he was my father because he was in touch. He went to VNA and he and some other wanted to bring the reb to VNA to take them with them in their journey, but he didn't want to go. Um so bottom line is so is is so he believed in that. Uh he also saw the rebba as you know realb and he he wrote to the rebba and uh so he sent us to babisha and it was also convenient. I used to walk from parkplace in nor to bedadine. It was a 10-minute walk. It was relatively safe. Later on that the community, the neighborhood changed and it was a lot of crime and um but at that time uh we moved there and he sent us to >> your mother was okay with this as well. >> Yeah, she was. Yes. I mean and uh you know you know after the war they're interesting happen like my father is my mother is Buddh it's two different >> right >> it's not only dialects but different mentalities and personalities and there are a lot of labav families married families families >> but it sounds like you were living amongst Labavich so she was okay with that also and your parents are >> first of all when we moved to uh Crown Heights there were not many from people around us and actually my mother was not very very happy >> about living at Crown Heights >> about moving Crown at that part of Crown Heights was very not Jewish >> not from >> not it was Jewish but it's actually not not and certainly not in our block and she was upset about this because We had lived in Williamsburg in the heart of Williamsburg where you see you know from a hidden passing by Shabas and weekdays different a different different uh atmosphere [sighs] and um she wanted to move back. So she she she told my my father that she wants to move back. I mean I was just a little kid two three years old at that time but that's what she told me. She wanted to move back and she went for a walk with uh probably I was in the carriage. She went for a walk to to Eastern Parkway from Parkway to Eastern Parkway a few blocks. Then she walked and she foundab from they knew about they heard about the so it was a name. So she says to him I want to talk to which is [laughter] interesting but that's what it was. Is he talking in the 1950s? She wants she wants to go to about talks about because she was brought up in a home there this and they give you advice and braas and now look at this. So she uh so she says it was Rabbi Groner. It was a bak I don't know exactly when he got married. It was a it was very young the 1950s early 50s. And um he tells you can't just go into the Reba, you have to make an appointment. She made an appointment and she goes into the Rebus and she tells the Reb that she's upset. How should she deal with it? Her husband moved from Williamsburg to Crown Heights. Apparently, he needed because that house that they own, they own a house in Williamsburg on Ust Street, 146 UT Street. and uh he sold the house to use th that money to go into business to go into some kind of a business. The bottom line is she wanted to go back. She complains to the Reb and the Reb told you don't go back. >> The words the way she said it all gate >> we don't retreat. >> We don't retreat. which is interesting uh hashkov in life you know it's a good translation we don't retreat >> um so what you what you should do is tell ask your husband that he should publicize that that you're living over there babu was two blocks away there was a Hungarian issue a block away but the black was not Jewish she he said tell your husband to publicize and this side of Crown Heights. This that side of Eastern Parkway was already a Jewish community. A lot of Schuls on Crown Street and Montgomery Street, President Street. There were schuls uh and um publicized it in the schuls, hang up little uh notes and uh and that's where you'll get you'll get people to move over there. And that's what he did. He made a deal with the landlord. These were um >> your father did this. My father made a deal with the landlord. He told the landlord any MTS tell me I'll find you a tenant. And uh that's what it was. As soon filled up those three they like fourstory fivetory apartment houses. Each floor had two apartments or big apartments and it was like three or four such buildings a row with one landlord and sigavar a community and you had um so I said our neighbor was uh Lipkar and then Pinson then upstairs was Wilhelms and then next door was wine gartens then there were Hungarian >> and that stayed like that until like The neighborhood I guess changed. >> Yes. So we left. My father was nif. So we moved shortly after that to Bar Park. She had a brother in Bar Park. >> One second. So your father was nif, >> right? >> How old were you? >> I was 10. >> You're 10 years old. You became a you were a Yasum. >> Yes. >> So you ended up moving to Bar Park. >> So you moved to Bar Park. >> But you stayed in Bedford and Dean. >> Actually I did. which is interesting. Um, I stayed in Bedford and Dean. Um, so I'm not I'm not sure what year we moved, but not long after that. Maybe a year or two. I did stay in Betine. How did I get travel to Betrandine? I do remember uh that I stayed in Betine. I used to travel by bus, two buses from Barra Park to uh to Bedford and Dean until uh Betford closed or we moved to Ocean Park and that was much easier. So >> So I have a few questions. Was it I mean if becoming a Yasum and your father not being there a lot of things changed. So is that like a given that you're going to stay in Bedford and Dean, you know, or like things change, you move into a new community like is there is there some something that happened then? >> Um that's one question. >> Yeah. You have four cautious. >> We'll start with one. >> So all right. So it's a good question. My mother, you know, was was already of the Reb >> of the Reb. Um, and for example, when the Reb said to she was pregnant and asked for and the Reb told her, you should put before Benin in a girl's push in a girl's yeshiva or school. like and she she told my father that. So, uh say it looks like you're going to have a girl in >> a girl was born. >> I was going to say I think it's an unusual the stock before. Yeah, we know. >> Yes. >> But the the girl institutional clear that's why she told me over they told to give it to a girl. They knew already Mustam is going to be a girl. So she had two boys before before the girl. Um yeah, leisa and um afterwards also looks like my father and mother did go to I know that the Reb told my father that he should learn two hours a day to learn two hours a day um which was hard for him. He was taken and he knew how to learn and he learned the he had a shalah that looked pretty well used and he had so he he did learn but two hours very hard for him because so here you're talking about a holocaust survivor he was very bright and successful in business Uh, but he was running everything himself. Then he bought one apartment house in in what was called in Spanish Harlem. Then another apartment house >> real estate >> real estate. And he was managing everything from the house. He didn't have an office. Everything from the house. He had a study where he learned over there and it was it was a study and his office and the business office. Everything from that uh room. Um, of course he had contacted lawyers and accountants, but he was running the business from his house. Then he would go to Manhattan to to the to the buildings, but he was running from the house. And you have to say, so he's new at all of this. So he's very busy. His head is into that. And the Reb says you have to learn two hours a day. So this is uh two hours a day. Um, so that I do know and I also know that once they was supposed to they were supposed to go in and they went but my father was apparently not there. My mother then went in alone and the Reb asked her about her husband and he asked her does your father learn every day? So she said yes he used to sit going to study and then the said two hours he asks the reb asked my mother two hours she didn't answer first of all she don't look at the watch second of all it was very sure and I heard from others that uh the told you know businessmen from that type of background. People who learn, people learn and big business people that they have to learn two hours a day. Seems to me almost like >> seems to me almost like the Reb was looking out for your father that like he has this background background this European background and now not to lose himself in in the American way and like and to learn >> 100% 100%. I think that's what he liked about the rebba and bubavich that nuda because he had that attitude of for America. He had that because I saw a letter there was a letter from the rashiv yeshiva they wrote a letter to America to do something to get papers for my father bal all those all those people who were in in vna or in Japan some of them got smikas other paperwork they didn't get to send to America to get visas they were trying to get visas And so there was uh the the rashivas of of uh the yeshiva in baranovich they were actually liter people who were related to the tells to the ts of rashas and they gave him a letter. So I have I have the letter the original of the copy from derk savad maybe he sent a copy to americanore and never went. So they write about my father that he has um he would be great for America because he has a strong das and amuna that would be very good for American youth. So he had that that nuda you're bringing out not to be swallowed up. So he did have he had a strong for example that he told him so that you know this is what we call he had that very strongly not for this or that and the third thing >> and it's part of what like >> I guess it's but he saw but this this certainly uh he he he note took note of. >> So you were saying that your mother was in without your father, right? So that I think you were trying to weave into um how you're staying in in Belf. >> This that was later. Um so she went to that was when he was when he was alive about learning two hours a day. Um you know in parentheses today you have a lot of uh programs for Anash and not and uh there's other programs of um the light paying money to be part of a learning program which is which is uh it's it's a lot of people wants them to learn wants to learn but they pushed it you know today two hours doesn't sound so much. But for people who just came to America, just they're less than 10 years and and they're trying to figure out America and and they're making new moves and business and so on. It was uh it was a sacrifice. It was a lot of time. Uh but Lima is is something central like you said, it shapes you not to be caught up in the laz and other things. Um after my father was nifter um so the the the Reba actually wrote a letter Ashashana greetings to to my mother. I don't think he before that he sent her ashana letter to wish her to wish a good year. >> Your father wasn't like coming to Fabrangans. He wasn't like part of lab. >> Um I think he came to some for bringings maybe occasionally. What? He never became a lab. >> Um I don't know. He certainly wasn't a card carrying lab, >> but he did write to the Reb Shilas, you know, there's old Shila that he he writes about it that he had a Shila about the building. They bought a building with a partner. Partner was an Israeli mass a big apparently he wanted to uh invest in America and he trusted my father. Um so he he they bought a building bash and in the contract it says that they should uh that they will give stock before taking profit. They give 10% stalker before taking profit. So my father wrote a shila to the lava. This is how he writes to his to his partner. I had a shila and I wrote to the lava. What was my shila? They bought a building. So they had to write invest a certain amount. Then they bought it on a mortgage. In the mortgage there's two parts of the mortgage. One part is to pay interest. The other one is a mortization. Amortization is you're you're taking you're you're getting more of the building. you're taking off the loan. So since they made a commitment to give 10% before profit. So what's is there a profit? So interest is for sure expense. So every expenses all the expenses of the building of course is not profit. But what about the payment for paying the loan and taking more ownership? That's the principle. So that is that is part of the prophet. So what did he give 10% als from that? So he said I wrote and said we should count the 10% the from the from also the payment of the principle and that's what we're going to do because we have to go with >> I saw such a letter that he wrote his his partner >> so card carrying or not but he's listening to the rabb >> not only he he asked he asked >> I saw sometimes that the rabb >> and he writes because that guy was a was a businessman he's an Israeli you know Israelis think that whatever they think but uh he says we're going And we're going to go whatever says, right? >> I saw sometimes the Reb told business people to give um whatever percentage of the noi of the business. >> Uhhuh. >> So it's different, right? >> Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. Okay. I hear what you're saying about >> I saw a few videos of that. Okay. >> Okay. Continue. >> Videos that were made here or >> Yeah. Videos of the footage. >> Footage. Um so there was a Yakis. It wasn't just he was also he believed also in in in the there is there is I knowishim and everyone was giving the letters and or $60 or $6. So there is a a letter from the Reb to him from to my father thanking him for his wishes my father gave him for the letter there were a lot of people >> who wrote it wasn't that bigish but there is also receipt from $60 was a special fund that the had generally uh the receipts If someone sent money to to the rebba, they were going to receive from because that was the account. Sometimes the money would go to a special account [clears throat] and it was a different receipt from the lishkash. So remember this was lishkash was a special account for specialus that the rebba had. So there was a Yakis. He also uh sent me for a while to so I was about two years in was just beginning and it's a no English bet had English and he got to know some people from from um he sent me to for two years. I'll tell you the whole yeshiva was maybe 60 70 kids. It was um was just started. It was on Eastern Parkway where all the T building is now. There's a a building where the playground is now. There used to be a building >> house >> for a house for a while. Kahas had their >> like a little building. Yeah. In the corner. >> Kahas had their had their swarm over there. Mhm. >> Uh but before had this from over there had a that was the whole two two floors over there. those and he sent me over there which there were mistab families in maybe two or three maybe two or three myself and there was a molan was not in the south >> Virginia >> in Virginia I believe then there was another one a freedman I don't think he stayed in labavich but he had to be someone who really believed in in America old. I mean it was really old and there were tests. It was old and old. So he have okay to have an appreciation from old old uh but I was there till about 9 years old and then he he put me back into Bedford couldn't be because of English because I went to English in Bedford third grade English uh but he had a um he was an honore by Musta the first dinner of olava but they did there there's a picture of it there was a Mr. Ganellis was was there they have >> and the wine >> the ganelis wine it's another another person and aer >> where were the honores um I did see uh he used to lend money to the mikl title bam I saw some promisary notes from titleb to my father made it to my father so it looked like he lent the money for the pashtas And uh and there were promisary notes from that he lent me money and it was nifter and my mother asked the rebi what she should do with >> so yeah you remember saying that I just go like cuz she got a sha letter after after >> I'm just telling go back to my father >> so because she said that >> was he a labaturer did he become a labavature So he was strongly tied. My point is he was strongly tied. He had a near his uh bed a table. He had a table he learn before he wanted to fall asleep I guess was learning something. So there was which is so to say so to say and there was a small Tanya that he had. So he his connection he took very seriously. >> Right. So your mother is about the promisary notes. So the Reb what she do is rebuild this. Yeah. So Reba told her it's beus for your for your for your husband if you just let it go. >> Really told it'll be for and I I saw them later on. I remember I saw and this that so you're asking about it seems to me that it was a stronger he I remember he came out to the leva >> the rabbi came to >> yeah so that's not so it was not so uncommon >> then >> and I don't know who arranged it cuz my father my mother was totally broken I don't think she made any arrangements >> he passed away suddenly >> he passed away suddenly he got sick with a stroke. He lasted a few days and it was nifer. Um but there was bakan to labatur you see he had a sh with and his kids went so the hearse did pass 770. This I remember but there was a kdish that we learned this year. This year we went to past year um they were publicizing the y of label growner. saying his his base. So writes over there um that uh of the is going to the oil and he's he goes out with his bag to the oil to the car and in front of 770 is a hearse. A Levia is there. The Levia was my father's Levia and he asked Groner um Alfal Vner questioner wasn't sure was Vner or >> Vinner >> but Alf he knew him I mean there was between my father and theb and he said he went to the he said to him he took his bag the car. They opened the door to the car. He took his back, put it in the car and he went for the Levia. He he he went. Then he had to go back to 770 to wash the hand and to go into the zal to do the the seven vinams. Then he went back to his room, went back to the car to go to the oil, which is also very interesting because usually when the Reb was in a certain mode, especially going to the oil, holding the bag, >> that's it. >> That's it. But it wasn't it. He put it in the bag. He put down the bag and he and he walked the I didn't know that. Yeah. But this I saw in the in this yman. But I do remember as a kid sitting in the in the the car that he uh that the came out. I mean I was a kid I knew. >> Um so what what else what other what other interactions did the your mother have with the about like it sounds like she was going to the with her questions. So did you discuss about raising the kids, running business? >> The the business fell on her lap. She was not a business type of personality, but there was not much choice cuz he was managing the buildings himself. So for a while, she took her brother along with her to help her go to the buildings and collect the rent. And um was sp mostly Spanish Harlem. So it was not such a great neighborhood but it was prasa and um she had questions about her business. She always asked the Reb and she always make to the Reba and I remember going as a kid with her inas and she would cry to the Reb you know she used to bring in a handkerchief and uh she sat down in front of the Reb's desk and uh she would tell the Reb this and tell the Reb that the Reb would give her braas and advice and uh I would see standing on the side by the windows right between the window and the desk and she's talking to the Reb watching and Groner's coming in. So Rabbi Groner's job was to watch the Reb's time >> move it along >> to move it along. So she's coming in behind my mother and the Reba goes like makes just a motion with his hand that he should he goes out second time >> to to leave her >> to leave her. So there there was Kir that remember they got from the rabbi >> that she felt special. She said that she thinks a special kov is because of the following after my father was nifa. Uh this my my brother's bitzvah year was about was that year or the end of that year and they get a letter she gets a letter from Shallay Slanim uh rebuilt itself after the war was killed in the war and uh Slum rebuilt itself after the war and there was a slot yeshiva and my father also started getting involved they they wrote letters to my father he's a slimmer family from Europe. His father was a was a was in the in Warsaw and they were for generations that so my father started sending money to he especially was into so he paid supported to to reprint two slan in his role. So he um so they sent a letter that no he's a son of Rhina Mishbak for generations they want to invite inviting his son to come to son of yeshiva after his bar mitzvah and they're going to take care of him that he doesn't have to worry about anything they'll take care of him because he was a he was a supporter of he was a slim mishb so what you going to do? So she took the letter to the rabbi and she asked the rabbi she says show the letter to the rabbi and she asked the reb what should I do on one hand her husband was serious and they're inviting his sons so I think he asked her what do you think she says I want children by me so bottom line did says about yeshiva. He knew that. >> So the asked your mother what does she think? >> I think so. >> And she said I want him to stay. >> Of course. >> Yeah. >> So said let him stay. Bottom line let him stay. So she felt the fact that she asked the Rebba what to do, put it so to say on his lap and the Reb was the one who made the decision that appreciated that the the the sons remained in Labavage because of that decision to put it to Rebba and and they stayed in Labavage. So she felt that the rebba was sort of say her because she did get him from the there was I remember which which day was the gave out was I think is my it's a purple booklet the gave out my that that evening remember much later yeah >> yeah much And so she didn't go from Barak. She was very old because she lived in Barak. >> She lived in Barak. [clears throat] >> And she my brother went my older brother for himself. They became a she went to 770 like everybody in Kanites. And he took a m and you know the line is rushing. So he takes a line and goes v and theb said [laughter] he says for wow. So we did we did some research that night maybe three or four people but they were more >> I think we gave them some >> they gave they says this is for your father this is for this but she was uh you know you didn't And uh my brother goes by and he says for the mama. >> No. >> So I still have that that we wrote it in the thing. Vin does for the mama. >> So it's time you stayed in bed for the the rebas. >> Yeah. >> Fully involved in this >> 100%. So you're talking about the also the the end of that year by of which is towards she got a letter I don't think I don't think he got after that she got letters regularly I don't know uh I didn't even know about that letter somehow it ended up on uh these um they sell they sell >> an auction >> at an auction It's an auction. Someone sends me a link. He says, "What's your mother's letter? Is that your mother?" Bluma. Her name was Bluma. And it says, "Vina, is that your what? You're selling letters." I said, "I never heard of that letter. I never saw the letter in her house." Somehow someone >> somehow I can't say what's going and it has kish signature and it's l so it makes sense that he would send her a letter to to be m so to say for someone else I also heard that that he asked the mosquito to the ven oh >> so it was it was kov >> amazing >> but you didn't know this when you were a kid >> about what? >> Oh, and I guess maybe you recognize you saw her client. >> Some of this I knew. Um [clears throat] I was I was there. I was I was a kid. Um so it's very it's very interesting. It's beautiful. So maybe we have to talk about you a little bit. So you're growing up in this environment bed in Crown Heights. What is like um what's your early memories of the I mean there's like parades there's uh probably maybe can maybe you can tell me a little bit about those early years from your viewpoint of of of the so I was a a kid I learned about shisha so I a little bit and sha of course there ever was something central >> so let me ask you a question that's just like I guess a hakda to what I what I asked you. You knew your labavaturure. Was that a process? Was there a moment? What's what's the story? >> Do you know your labavaturure? >> Yeah, I think so. >> It might be an embarrassment, but uh >> um so me was bittas. Well, uh I'll share with you some things. I mean, as a kid, it was you know this is this is my this only thing I know. Yes, I knew my father was a Islam. I didn't wasn't didn't wasn't so aware of how much he was he was connected to Slim. I knew about it. I didn't know until later on when I saw letters and I realized that he was quite connected in the whole family. But he didn't talk to us about him or about um anything. He wanted us to learn. His was to learn. To learn to learn was very of him. This had an impact in my life that he wanted us to learn that he he was from the only parents who went to bed to talk to the rebies how their kids are doing. >> Very modern, >> huh? >> That's very modern. >> He was he cared about it. Mhm. >> Other other kids that learned all the and in Bedford remember that the only one who came really was your father that he was interested you know in in our line he also hired for us Bakarim to learn with us and this did have an impact on my uh later on as growing up I was I was just 10 years old was nif and you know you're all alone you have to make decisions you can do whatever you Not really but it did have impact that he wanted me to learn had an impact in me really I could say to to choose the d of of learning ta as something important and I'm saying this because I think sometimes parents don't realize how much um of an impact you can have on your children and this is uh you know it should come across to the children no matter what age they are that limit is important to you even though it may not so to say be so obvious that they're listening maybe you're going to think they're not listening what's a difference but it does have an impact that may come back to the children I've seen years later you you know, as they're growing up, you know, they might get busy with other things, but it comes back to them this this this idea. >> I spoke to a friend uh who told me that um his father isn't no longer alive. He passed away recently, but he said that when I was a kid, my father would learn with me because I hated it. But then I missed it. not not after he passed away like like when it's when it was gone like I missed it and he was basically telling me that how he has a ratson to to to learn and he's like crediting his father you know that value that his father instilled in him so >> you're saying about learning with him had an interesting so there was mbus shabas in 770 evabas so I used to go from bedford and dean no from park place walk to 770 it's a to uh for Shabas. All the kids were up upstairs in the Zo. I can imagine was not so many kids and I think it was Rabbi Goldstein. Yel Goldstein was leading the ceas and uh and he says whoever can answer this question is going to win a prize, a small prize. So what was the question? He opened up. So if you can tell me how many kilois is here, you win a prize. That shabas and the shabas before my father was telling me there's 26 kilo because this the dus of the I got it. I was 9 years old, eight, nine years old. [gasps] So it's stuck in my head. So he opens it up for maybe 10 seconds. Opens up the the sid. I raise my hand the back 26 26 you're right. I come uh now. So it says go to the principal and yeshiva was Rabbi Tan and uh was 11. No I must have been nine years older back in Bedford. So he asked me how did you taken know my father told me gave me actually was a small prize >> but uh yeah so um yes that impact is very important >> so so you're saying that your father was my question was about you know that you're >> that you're lavish was that was that like a decision or not or that was like a >> yeah that was a later on when I was in in uh in Burough Park. We moved to Bar Park as I said. So I used I still learned in in so Bedford already for a while I I learned in Bedford. I used to take a bus, two buses to Bedford every day and it was really bad neighborhood and it was a lot of crime and I had to keep my eyes open from the right to left taking those buses and then the yeshiva moved tan lamemed to ocean park which is much easier to go from my house in Barak to park. You go by bike sometimes. Um so um so it became much easier at that time uh I used to be shabas in in bar park and I s down next to my next house we lived on 55th street next to my house there was shul and yeshiva so I had I made friends with some of the kids my age 16year-old 17 year old kids who learned different yeshivas And then why would theb walks by they jump and why they adore the rebba and all these questions and that why only Tanya only learn and so I used to we had this interesting um discussions and I wanted to always to answer them you know the to answer I'm a and and I would always look for an answer to answer them about and about um and why so there's there's and so I would I would um say so why don't you learn says okay I'm gonna I'm gonna read Shim. So I I bought Miss Shim. So I'm reading through Mic Shim and on the bus. This was this was I was still in uh in bed. So I had I had 45 minutes to an hour a day each way. So I used to learn on the bus have a lot a lot of time. So I think I had this is sh I'm reading it one pic another pic it's a muser and it's about you know steps 15 steps to and I had already learned already I was I was learning in betas So I was really getting into this idea of I was talking I wanted to I wanted to understand why why I'm so how does Allah work I I think the motivation for my learning was to know why is learning through learning so it's it's or what we're doing in this world and also how to get the structure to understand it to understand it. So really you could say my motivation to learn this was part of what's made that you understand and you feel it and so I started learning some of the and he is hacking me with what are the why not so I came back reading It's telling really it's it's a it's it's a safer if you want to reach so you take these steps fine. Okay. So it's about my the feeling you come learning learning is reach your the feeling you have learning is what you could do for the what's the you know it's a different type of uh feeling so you're asking me about if I felt like a lab at that stage I would these people were asking me questions and I wanted to okay it's a good question so I come back to him he says wrote but deeper safer and the real light there are deeper so get me [laughter] so okay I fine the aim of of >> we're getting into we might as well learn because it's going to be treated it's going to be treated properly. So it's so >> okay there's deep resp from from but they started telling me but they don't learn that either the se I was 17 maybe that that year >> this is 17 >> yeah so um >> so that's how like this is developing >> yeah but you know I just want to say you know today people I'm not going to look at any other photo that says we don't The the Reb said also isn't you know which is which is true but sometimes you see the himself was in other >> well there's a lot of things that theb quotes constantly like from yes >> that says from >> yeah but is There is brings and there's a story behind it in so he brings from I think that but then he says also he says and he calls for in Clay that he writes about the mileadis. I mean obviously was reptic he was from the big uh gadas in Poland. Glad that my father in his library he had a few copies of different he had he had thin mostly he had a and gladly had also he had what'sa in the section the reb quotes he was a god will be his soul and in his dreams he dreamed [snorts] so he dream so he writes over there that this and this this night he had a dream the kasha rabo and in the dream he was mash of the kashand rabo And the morning he writes in the dream he says God I thought it over and I have another ter that is a good he writes his dreams. So the Reba I don't know when he saw it say for this if he saw in Europe or here in America was reprinted in America my father had it not and which he had you know other people are big fans of which has his dreams and not only that he quotes it. He wrote the the the ones who the the vad and he tells them check check the and they didn't have nearby it was reprinted in America they didn't know if it was reprinted so they sent a baka to a library to go check out those libraries in Manhattan go check out with CCA if not stuck at the quote. It was a little off, but he told me that it was off the but it was a quote >> he tells him to check out the lion and then they put it in there was printed you know they never made fun of >> so what's tak the right approach because inite do only or mainly learn >> whatever and then >> themes says by theb and I I could say this when people say what's so special about so I wanted to answer them logically not this week we will commemorate ves is the yard site of the rabb's Father Khan, one of the initiatives that the Reba began after her passing was to establish Ken Kana, a special fund that enables and helps Jewish girls to be able to attend a yeshiva or Jewish educational seminary, yeshiva school, etc. To this day, the fund assists both people that do not have a Jewish educational background that are seeking to become part and enroll in an institution for girls but don't have the necessary funds to do so. This fund enables them and helps them get those funds so that they can attend yeshiva. And it also helps people who did have a Jewish education but their families cannot afford they're attending a yeshiva or a seminary. The fund helps them be able to do so. At the Fabian on Vish on the yard site, the Reb would often remind and encourage the attendees and those that were listening live via the hookup to donate and take part in Kana, which is in memory of Rebana. And as Reb mentioned by most and by many of the other mag of the other funds that the Reb would mention at the those that wish can write and send in their name and their mother's name down and the Reb will mention it by the you can do so this at magbus.org m a gbis.org and you can click on the tab for Kana and there's an option there to mention your name and your mother's name as a donor to the fund. All of those names will be brought to the rabbis. This is something that we can do to honor Rabbi. It is something that we can do to honor the RBA and it's something that we can do to enhance and help the education of Jewish girls which however important it has always been is more important than ever. have a good >> is godless in you know the question then and it was the question then was was common for who's the godl I remember in swan lake in the koff's >> camp half of swan lake counselors you had you the um you had kundala was a counselor And there was was a coco and there was a bunch of the night activity director once. >> I don't think it was but he was a >> he was a rabbi. He was a muhamad. >> He was a malam. He was a he was a he was a bent his father was friends with my father >> from from Shanghai >> from Shanghai or Poland. I don't know if I'm where >> I remember his father. My father was you know literature type of and when I was in camp in in Swan Lake >> in Swan Lake I was already I was a Yasum he was of me he was talk you know he was he was he was et was but that's the crowd that was there so I remember I remember in Swan playing pingpong. Who the god? This was saying this that other was saying nob was was going on and this was going on in the whole world in the so I could be you know and then and I'm trying to it's I'm trying to explain it. So in his you see he was tak and his elite you know they were misnum they wanted to sway him against theb from bra and even here and he wouldn't budge he was a toy is like type don't interested in any politics is it that's it. So but the so the his limit before those tenant You know there was you know you heard about it. There was tinus underbro but you think and there was tinus. writing. Okay. Sadic was already rebed it and the writing what's and and it's nigabola the reb showed bas and everything that's if you see in the beginning of these and when they were printed he writes I was commanded what do you want for me I was commanded to do this That's that's the reason and it was >> by the way by the way it's interesting we barely ever you ever see anyone using that that >> yes no no no that was you only find it over there >> yeah all them was >> to command >> means I was commanded >> because he's he's saying I it's not my idea All right. Some I wouldn't do it. >> It's also very interesting because this is basically the theme of the one of the themes in the is the component of >> so it's all one thing. So this you know this is one of the points I would bring out you know it's the and the and the all-encompassing the all-encompassing you know godless and so you know having these discussions with others made me even stronger so to say if if if you want to use that term Um this idea of the broad um emphasis of limit the really wanted to impress upon us as well is enough just and so the Reb really wanted us to have a broader cook vision and scope of it. How do how do I know? Because look at the mimus that the writes for the he sends us on the letters. He sends us everywhere. Yeah. Muslim. Yes. and uh he's not sending us to but even even the sort of to say you say it's a broad not just it's it's it's this page and this is >> I was just reading a this morning >> yes >> I was I finished reading it I read the >> right >> it's >> okay so I have a I have a I remember the spoke about I believe it was a Pikti the used to come out now about now was then was another edition and then sometimes was a third letter but usually two letters certainly in the in the the years in the lit I think it was uh a niss so b it Uh the beginning of this wrote a letter then this another letter which was a ham. You see the skesh of the yum kesh and it was I think it was abran or or theb writes that in the in the so he received a kasha that it says in the mik of this and this how it this med. So the said if you take a look over there took the a this or this med or this if you g to this farm and take that out and look it up you'd see that over there this right and then he said the following He says, on the issukas you'll gain a lot of ideas. >> So first of all you should >> first of all you should do it because you'll gain a lot of >> first you should when it says look it means to look it up. >> You should go look it up >> and first of all you're going to gain what's the what's the purpose of it first of all What does that mean? >> What does that mean? You tell me what that means. >> Someone else is having himself. He said house. Listen to that. Wow. If you that means if you're going to look up that med or that because the said a orion so okay the people ask what's the you wantb you want to learn the you wantb you want theb if you look take a It says or >> Yeah. >> Mhm. >> So you're doing it. So So the Reb has a big deal. So, so now so therefore I'm saying the whole cook was a much broader cook of of heard from the early so to say those who learned in by the and before and when the started saying his all different type of different style of than so one of them once told me he said he thought that and Nigla especially Nigla because the devil's boillet in the nigla it's going to be garandish you know and it is to a certain degree uh but but that's really the is expectations and the broadness of it is something that we have to take uh >> to live up to. >> Have to take more seriously. >> Okay. It's for sure. But I have a this is the true obviously this I mean obviously but thank you for being but I want to go back about the broader learning. I met a guy I guess but he was like you know I don't know he had he was like you know so he's he was talking to me after he's like he says so I guess he was watching my face my facial express I didn't say anything so he's looking at my facial expressions he's like how come I tell the like it so you're saying that we should learn Just uh for the record, um that um they touches because they show everyone what they're what they're doing, their life and he's done something else and there's seen underneath. So, but also in I saw which is very interesting um right of Tanya. So they reprinted the they made Tanya Hashum uh which is an awesome uh safer and I was you know this time around I was learning a lot of using it a lot and noting of different you know Tai which very inspiring and I told this to the my problem with this is the the earlier edition of the Rebana You could see the mockerb would write where and there were different and tai that you knew this is directly from the rebba. So now and the is that they have in this new you don't see necessarily what's t from the rebba >> it's all one >> it's all one they combine other but when I but what I like is I want to see how the rebba learned this why I bring this up >> why I'm bring this up because in the in the original which they printed said he has over there on. So he has a list of Delhi who said and one of them is and he brings a mo from the he also has of those symptoms. brings from the but I found it interesting so like this he brings well hold it simp is not so you see is looking at all these and he's keeping the list of and one of the list is so But he's he has it in the list >> but >> and it's also Kabak he's counted he's counted as in Kabala >> so that he's from the day that simp is is is not so he's bringing that [laughter] okay but he's keeping in the list not which is interesting I think it's revealing I'm not sure exactly what to do with it. >> But I have a rebuttal. >> I don't This is not what I think. I'm just saying like >> someone someone could say >> it's not if you look if you learn it's all based >> but the is doing since it's part of the will support or from other >> fine >> like always calling this not so many other quotes maybe there are others but it's not that specific quote likes very much it likes that quote also >> I understand you know you're asking practically speaking uh there first of all there's so much and this and this times question is you know yeahid and the printed everything he was everything he got his hand printed Print print print right you know then there's and then there's he wants to in so okay I'm not saying that you know make a say there learn but sometimes it comes your way >> right >> it comes your way it's okay and if it comes your Hey, you see the Reb did uh >> you can ask the same question like is it not whatever. >> Okay. Yeah. >> Something about that >> that I think he said maybe I think >> it says that he knew I think he knew right. >> Yes. But there's other and also I think learned from Zind. >> Okay, this is great. I want to move back to we'll we'll do a little more story and then uh fab we'll go we'll go back and forth. So, so you were telling me about the early years early years around the praise and >> I I would say my one of my early memories impactful memories and I don't even remember when it was and what age it was but I remember it had an impact by a fab when I was a kid. [laughter] Like even if I would come to you know And uh yeah so that's the that's a very important even as a kid the impression that you know the rebba is talking in with MS and uh and this is you know it's the zach that's from I would say from the earliest memories um I I think I was an early terror then. So there was probably there was a bus taking us from Eastern Parkway probably to Park Place and the Reb would walk sometimes to 770 probably was 12:00. He's he's walking from his house to 770 on Eastern Parkway was in front of that apartment house by the corner and and so the whole bus was mama Saka is piled by the window on the side facing the driver's skin is going to tilt the bus and what are we looking at? We're looking at the Reb walking and what do we see? The Reb is saying words. He's walking from his house 70 and we would start singing. They would notice a Shiva bust. He go like this. Um those from the earlier memories so besides the you went in with your mother. I mean you had this >> I don't remember details about uh he asked me to if I prepared anything for mitzvah he asked me to say something I don't remember what I said I think it was maybe the pilps he gave me um I remember on the day of my bar mitzvah I was in 770. It was the was ding for the was in the summer and it was a small island upstairs that was by the table behind the rebba. Uh that was done for he was constantly putting his hand under the talis fixing the knot behind the head that >> the casher which I found interesting because they don't tell the the mitzub or anyone make sure your cash is in the right place the rabbi during the would be when I was behind him I took note there was he was making he was touching The kesher should be in its place behind it. Everyone that looks in the front, it's behind the before the hairline, above the hairline. Um, so you went after you you were in bed for for for Yeshiva afterwards. >> Then I went to park and then I went to Newark and then I went to some. >> So you had all those years you had all those years. I had this um I had different >> Let me let me ask you a general question about what was the whole thing of for then like there was a called I don't know why they didn't reprint it. Yes. Everything that's there already is reprinted in different places. But I think put together special person different and letters. So there was once there was a Picid is to analyze yourself make a of where you're standing and connect with the so I would say we were taught that to take very serious would all the mashim um would emphasize. This is a time when you go to the reb and you and you make is beforehand. Um and to open yourself up to the Reb and ask for guidance and to be a better to be a better Were there specific things in this menu that uh you can share you know uh is a personal experiences >> I asked this to every guest and they all say yeah okay >> I know >> you know why they give you the same answer why >> because that's the answer [laughter] the answer so Um so what I'll give you the right um so there's different bakim and part of the scene the scene over here and and there's different bakim who had different were on different levels so you could have a bakar and this is because we used to bring together so I'm going to give you about the scene and about different bakim to give you an idea of of how this this works and we used to forang and sometimes to forg about our own and uh should I go into and not go into and so on. So um so first of all was struggling with the which is which is common and they of somewhere in a different Indian is that says it's >> I didn't hear such a mashka >> um I didn't I didn't hear such a such a printed >> okay where is it printed >> printed >> I saw it in a in a printed form okay >> I understand I'm saying it's not and it's okay it's fine >> um so some people were struggling the more than others other people although they were struggling with the didn't want to bring it up to the rebba about their issues with the so they would rebar of um and other people with taka they weren't struggling so much with the and their questions were were in and limud and in others with the issues of um uh one of the common things what the told bakarim was that when they go in the street they should And some oius some people after would write in the of the would some people didn't write or some people didn't the wasn't ma I know someone the told him he should learn that when he goes in the street he should he should unblitus Some people he didn't say on >> this means you don't like start like mumbling like >> Yeah. Today you can do that cuz everyone's on the iPhone. >> You can listen to you can listen to >> today people are mumbling. >> You can mumble. Yeah. >> You the first time I was driving a car and when it started this whole thing and I'm looking the guy on the side of me he's screaming [laughter] and f to realize that he's on the phone. >> This a few years ago right? >> Yeah he's on the phone that me he's in the car and he's on the phone. So, so one verse told um when he's in the street and this was more to do that you're in the street, you're exposed to the street. So the cup is full. Um then he show he would um so this was was quite common in this nuda. Uh but again going back to sur the reb I'm sharing with you different friends we would discuss He said in under other words >> transfer the >> transfer the you talking about he said you saw so that >> channel it >> channel it channel your I think this was says so this is a thing um and that I know there was a discussion between two two uh and it gives you an idea about the bakarim. So they they had ga I don't know if people bothered by Gver today. It bothers him that he has ga now who has ga. So I mean there's a spyus that's boasting [snorts] but then it's because he has takus. So he writes to the rebba he has ga So both of them and this is this more or less same one and answered it should motivate you and so on as a motivation. The other one he answered as So explains that your mile are a gift from so you didn't make yourself smarter than anyone else. You didn't make yourself a lucky >> nothing to be proud of. >> Yeah. the guard. So, so one person he tells to use the other person he tells how really there's no point in there's no there's no having so you ask everyone it's of like it says in those of the um there people who ask you know uh I know someone who is the rebba about he feels he's a he was a vuva but he but he he became a 77ur a guy with with kashus he still he still is using his kashus bavich and um but it was about chuva you know from the from the from the hippies. I don't know if he was a hippie but he was >> that era >> that era he was out he was totally out and then he he uses kashis and he's number 770 top 770 so he was trying to m of family or other people and he feels that he's not successful I was very frustrated this told Um I don't know if this was the lion but the was the mitzv of didn't say you have to do your part if you're going to the and the is for you to do your part >> on you >> it's on you if you're going to be successful that's that's not in your hands >> so therefore what you're doing is but that's not you to make a decision if you was successful and not self and not successful therefore therefore you didn't do the you did the um Bak was saying they're saying about what's the difference between I don't remember the lush and the the of the beginning and of so personally I thought this was he was trying to impress But maybe maybe I'm wrong but you know uh >> asking such a >> yeah maybe it bothered him you know maybe >> maybe it really [clears throat] bothered him >> maybe it bothered him. So used to say that you did to say >> you should open yourself up to the you should say things that you wouldn't tell your closest friend. So that was >> whatever it is >> whatever issue whatever I mean obviously you want you want uh you want guidance you want >> um you know used to say a story that there was this is still in Russia before that uh and those in the earlier years they weren't m of everybody Especially a person who was a big especially let him stay where he is. >> Let him stay where he is. But he saw he was making. So they used to reach out to him as so there was a a guy was not a but he had a bunch of mileas. So they saw a person they would if they saw was a they would look for what a way to so you know >> [laughter] >> A lot of people even in my generation a lot of people in this are from homes because of to be a better [clears throat] that's that's what people you know he's not going to find you not for of the so that's what people this guy heav he had good lenin and he ded [snorts] and they couldn't find anything which they could so to say sell him that he should become a >> that you're lacking in this area >> he's not lacking in anything like this. If it's mid this, you know, you and if he's person and you tell him, you know, you want to know a way to be is going to teach you how to make yourself, you know, the story is but his >> there's no selling point. >> There's no they can't think of anything. So whe whether it's right or wrong. So one says let's call this person. says, "But now I'm just giving you an example about the scene is that I don't think the Reb would be very fond of this type of a but I'm giving you an idea. So you talk about you're coming to the Reb to open yourself up to the Reb." um that he should make he should make you know on a different and a different level that wasn't >> amazing I like what you did here I asked you about yours you're talking about everyone else's it's good >> about and Indian >> and Indian >> speaking of uh yeah so No. >> So the whole scene is the scene. Um we used to fast the day you went to we used to fast >> from the morning till [sighs] I don't know and and uh we felt that it's you know we felt it and so this was till 9:30 the door so I was mostly upstairs, certainly American Bakra. Then after 9:30, the door would open from the Z to the lobby where the elevator is. So you could see people coming going for guys would still be learning it. So they would be learning or they would see what's going and then the door of ganed was also open cuz people were coming to the waiting room for was in Ganak. So there's a bench in ganed and people would sit there. Families would sit there and I used to like to watch the guy who's next on line to go in. So growner or whoever was in charge at night mostly growner would people there should be less waste of time. So let's say there was then he would line up a few bakim would go in and out. Usually a bak used to be in there a minute a minute and a half and if they read the talle then they would leave them will give a braha and they would [clears throat] leave. So next online there's a baker let's say that I would know he's standing online he's standing by the muza right right over there and as soon as the person is going to come out going to give him a sign go in he tells as soon as he comes out go in and then as soon as the next one in line would go in so mean the person's waiting line for his next by the door by the muza standing and he's waiting for someone to leave. He's next. I used to love to watch the faces and stuff a upon him. It's mish. He could be he could be make have watching the guy on his neck. I'll give you a dma to that. the other this summer I think maybe before the summer I was in the oil and I'm waiting for someone supposed to I'm waiting for someone and I'm in the room where you write your p they call it today so people are by a table and they're writing and I'm waiting and I'm looking at the people who's who's there and I I was inspired Why? Watch the faces. Next time you know, watch the faces of the people who are riding the settle. It's inspiring. You have different people. You have old and young from not from Anoshim and they're riding their settle and you could see a certain adite and they're thinking what I'm now writing to the Reba just these people writing putting a paper and they're thinking what they're writing now to the Reba has a their face is a different it's a different person it's different person and I was going around the room. I never It's 30 years since uh yeah Kiml Thomas and I and I never took note of it. I never was watching the people but here I'm waiting and I I thought of it. It's really madik and it shows the power of the moes that the effect that it has on people who are there writing their their tetle they're in their in their in their moment of truth in their mo of truth that's may you know I was thinking this is something like that that of your etum. >> You could see it today. >> Yeah, you could see it today. You see the people how they're uh I don't know what they're writing. Everyone's writing different and everyone's probably writing different things. I mean some do some someone's sick some think but that this is a place where the truth the truth there's MS kadusha I'll you know it's the effect that that the see and the the reb is having on all these people. >> Yeah. >> Yes. You can see I was thinking that this is similar to what I used to see with people on the next but is there so to say is their moment of truth. >> Okay. Appreciate that. So let me move a little. What do you what can you tell about you mentioned a little bit with but in general uh >> and Bedford. So the truth is in Bedford depending on which class you have some uh in bet who who uh who did that who he was he accomplished more and some class he didn't accomplish as much. Um I I came close to Nabiel you know the truth is in the he he didn't give a shi for many years for one reason or another reason he he was in betford which you're talking about 16 top 17 year old bakr he didn't give a share it was But he didn't give a We gave for one reason or another. He didn't give a sh in Tin Lammed. The Shiva moved to Ocean Parkway and they decided they want Elim there. to say the the Shiva in in Ocean Parkway and and Bedford Bakham is to learn their two two till about 17 18 years old. Then they would go to Newark for a year or two. Then you went in 770 and there was hardly Australia had but generally there was no other. So that means Bakum used usually were in 770 for four years three four years maybe five years depends how old you were when you had 77. Um so they wanted to make a ru they decided they're going to bring to the bakim 770 bakim who already in 770 a year or two I think so they bring bakim from 770 would now be so to say or really was a class and what was the attraction the attraction of was going to give them to So that's when started giving 20 year old 19 20 21 year old. So that started lamemed and tak of ocean parkway used to come once a week give nigla. So this was like a branch of 770 was in and this h went on for for many years till like as the nuns when uh nunbak moved to crown heights but this went on um [clears throat] that year with this that level was now giving to 770 after I went to 770. So I came for a year in Ocean Parkway and Rabiel was mi and I was really taken by the of his till then people talking about the genius his memory he has a photographic memory after the for five hours he goes it and makes a memory memory memory But the ofel and the go in in in amus and hava and hb of this was not what what people were talking about and what people appreciated but this here was ngala I mean people who knew and close to him knew that and he's always considered ily even as a bak. But then you saw his and his and before he spoke he gave a sh for a few months and then he went into And I was totally taken by it. I wrote his shared him down and and we used to go to his house just me me and another two friends. There were guys usually in his house was uh his his nephews were there especially Yasi Rabasi Panis Yasi was there. These are older than us. But since he was Elsa and he told me to come to his house, so we used to go to his house Thursday night before he started going to Burough Park. We used to prepare a question just to get him to talk and he'd spend a few hours. Sometimes the were there already, sometimes not. is to people don't really appreciate and it's important for it to be said but he wanted us certain other and we went to his house to learn them out of the curriculum and we asked to give us a in in right I remember there's a there um about what's in the different reasons for for Tommy Habria. So this begin and then [clears throat] so there's there um is if there's a reason so then there's a reason why you're so if there's a reason why is a bit how much you understand and there's a reason. So, but if there's higher than a reason, so then you're just doing it because there's nothing to you left. The is garnished. There's no part of you that is being convinced you. So it's so small heart on the bottom that the between the reasons is going to affect are the so he told us a story. So he told us a story like this but in in in Russia so was there appointed men to be mamesh he was he was a bak then still a big a big lon and was that he should and he was very impressed with which is another story. So was very impressed with asks. So he gives him the if they see the year is theim if the which year was the I don't know upon him he gives uh he gives the whole question of the time I don't know which was and which meeting had with him it comes back a day get to later. And he tells it. Now this is a famous line from Brisk. The brisk is not to understand the reasons for anything to do to understand what is everything. So it's it's a famous lineis this the way they are you not understand why what is it not why is it the other is to understand why everything but was always Because so his line meaning said tells us the gates of the >> there's there's a there's an after doesn't felt just telling you. So these are in yanim that uh >> yeah this is and he after we used to learn he says sit for another two hours on the couch and tell us >> it's funny because I sat through very long in I guess >> you heard this >> no no but I sat in long for example yeah so so he he his His was so so number one he did mourn from us he from us it's not the tes I'll take you over it becomes your it should reshape your mind you should see things the It it should be in a way that you see it in your head and you feel it. But the is that you're applying it to yourself. You see you learn this you should apply that it's of think >> that was that was one of things I'm I'm trying to bring you out to you that Rabio wasn't just this this he wasn't a mascul in the what's called amas kiloas was another land or it's it's so to say uh intellect ual pleasure or intellectual acrobatics that a person who is a mascul enjoys orid because he's a and he enjoy and Um, so the Reb, you know, speaking about the of the et. Soidusbid to reshape you. So we didn't hear from him much about feel I can't remember escapia we were younger already in Bedford you know he was one time we were talking about so to say watch your eyes type of ver >> not about ketchup or ice cream >> about ketchup and ice cream um yes and I got close to um years later to the last two years he sees me in front of I think I was coming for he's standing outside of his house he had a with him all the time as if I have something still left for what I wrote 40 years ago. I did have a few things. Most of it got lost. So I brought him, you know, copies of some stuff that I wrote out still pieces of paper floating around in. So I was looking at it, you know, to remember and the Must asked other people as well because he wanted to refresh. He he told me that his his uh later years and also he really enjoyed teaching in Yiddish and that crowd >> the American crowd later on it changed to >> I mean he was you know that till the last minute all you needed to say is >> he can slap him he's tired and he's slept him but seek. So, um I have to appreciate that. >> Yeah. Um so, back to you a little bit. You also had counselor in camp, right? Mentioned Swan Lake before. >> Yes. That's Swan Lake. I was >> You mentioned Swan Lake. >> Yeah. Yes. So, I was I was in camp. I always held that um you know camp is is the Reb's camp and uh I had talent for it. So I I I was two years once a head counselor and I was a a co-head counselor was in I think lamealid gim we were with rebalitzki who was the head counsel he I was the assistant counken uh daled I was a head counselor co-heads was itken was there was also there on the head staff and you have Uh they have to at the end of camp the seder was the end of camp was by the reba and um the reb would wait for the is usually 3:15 was min but the camp is coming so the camp try to organize to be there not to him's schedule but it's traffic and you're coming from upstate and you know there's a few buses. So it usually wasn't 3:15 and the Reb would wait when the when the camp came all came down 770 and sat down in the benches and they would tell the reb would come down and then the camp and the would camp. At the end of the that the head counselor would give the closing address to the campers and that and in front of the Reba and then everyone would go home. That was the end of camp. So by Ali to be the speaker to speak in front of the Reba they prepared a whole speech and it was already ready and usually the title of the speech was you presenting with all the points of I think that year we started started and he said put that in because from that so we mentioned that and then I was listening into the whole dash was every two minutes without my over there and at the end of the I prepared of course the speaking from the very nervous I wrote it down and the I have the I said and the last words were and with the we're going to have good >> that spits >> sounds not spits >> it's regular Yeah, we have and really we're going to go give a later I say those words is listening to the whole thing of I didn't see the reb's face listen because I'm looking standing there talking to the thing the Reb is on the side and the Reb is looking the whole time peak and the Reb says to me I said, he says, "Zog, he's telling me to say so I don't know what to do." I wasn't I was just like shocked. So I think I said again and is going to give us and he said again. So that I said and and now already is already screaming and may [laughter] and so I said I said the >> Yiddish by end I said it in Yiddish. >> So that was one experience. >> What's the moral of the story? >> What's the moral of the story? No. What's the moral of the story? I didn't mean to spit anything but you know I think to me at least was a message you know the campb wants to emphasize and and you want the Reb's camp. That's the message the Reb is giving. That's the message of And don't forget that. Don't forget that. And um you know, you have The Reb often said it to me. He was telling us, you know, And the is I remember the I mentioned before the discussions I had with and the whole they their problem was the exaggerated connection the way we have the how come when the rebba walks on the street everyone's jumping off the street and the way they're making away from the rebba and everyone's running away there's Look at no one else does that. >> Among is brought to you by we live in a chaotic world. A world where for us is au we do not have the ability to hear and see the on a daily basis. Yet we know that theb is very much with us and is alive and thriving more than ever before. one needs to only tap into it. Provides you and your family with the tools necessary to tap into all of this. Whether it's the monthly magazine, the way it all began, whether it's their hair books, their hair online content, and so much more, men, women, and children throughout the world benefit and use these tools on a daily basis. Whether it's children enjoying the children's magazine that comes along with the regular deer or enjoying the children's podcast. Whether it's Bakim in Yeshivas receiving the dehair, whether it's girls in high schools enjoying their hair club in their local high school, people all over the world and from all walks of life enjoy and utilize these tools and take advantage of it. If you're not already subscribed to the monthly magazine, do so today at deher.org. That's der.org. The hair is a dynamic organization which is committed to continue providing these tools, grow on a constant basis, and do all that we can to help this effort. Barakashem, it takes a lot of resources and finances to make this all happen. You can be part of through your financial support as well through visiting our website.org or through contacting us to setting up a meeting. Thank you very much. Enjoy the rest of the podcast. So I said, "Must there's a reason. Mustad, there's a reason." And when the Reb walks, so but but I wanted >> You're saying that it's a gut reaction, but you wanted to explain it. >> What What's Taken? The gut reaction. >> Mhm. I mean, you weren't there, so how do you know what's what's what's the gut reaction you're saying? Of course, it was a gut reaction, which But it wasn't fake. I said, "Because everyone's running. I'm running." Maybe there was some losers, so to say. Everyone's running, so I'm running. But it was you felt presence of Kusha. >> Mhm. So I remember telling them says the problem is you know maybe you should be running off the street you think he's a state so actually literally rolling in the dust with the reb would be there they would bust over there they want to hear they'll be rolling in the dust by the rebb's feet the hair of art from theb how come you how come nobody does it you have a Either either you don't see that in them that they're worthy of rolling in the dust or they talking not either either it's your problem cuz you don't see it you because you have a problem. There's a So the you know the [gasps] you know there's there's doing what the reb wants you to do to speak the law. for is the name tell me. So I'm telling these guys, so how come how come we feel it? You don't you have a problem. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> And again on you >> the sh is in either either he's he's he's he's that >> and you then you're then you have a problem. You're not you're not you're not dova properly to to to him or he's not that. >> Mhm. If he's not that, so what do you want? What do you want from us? What's I heard more than once. What's he say? It's he's bottled up. He's he's he's just he's just bottled himself and therefore no the isb is nothing my so big. That's bigness. That's bigness. The whole of the is he's nothing. He's he's just he's just says I'm nothing. I'm going to be through me. That's why it's called because because because he feels on nothing. What was the doing? He didn't live himself budgeted $2 billion $3 billion worldwide budget. He slept in this small tiny bed in seven in his room with books around him. Where did he eat? What? What? [laughter] Who's se the last few years he's in his he's in his little room with I don't know how wide that bed was >> if they abused it also. >> Huh? >> There's usually there's usually on the bed. >> Yeah. It's two hours they used to the bak waiting outside would hear neglas. They knew got up like it wasn't more than two hours that he was from one he didn't he was no mitas giving out dollars who miss Israel everyone as What's that? And because it's, you know, there's there's me. >> So you don't have so it's not you're saying it's not even to say it because why do you need why do you need to say that? No. No. The reason was >> I saw I saw weird on huggers today. people write like they they're engaged. They're writing these lines like uh you know what I'm talking about. >> No, but I don't think it's to write to say all the things that are not uh >> not the I'm just to bring out and the way he taught us I didn't mean anything uh I said because we we wanted we wrote is emphasized as it has to be. There's a reason there's a you know um you know there's this in the way to connect to the sadic is through a so there is this of aa you know and and the rebba has to us so yes you know the wasim I was going to say the whole You know, how does how does this work? It's a sh, you know, how does this work? You know, you know when after so there was the guy today also. So you have an apartment and the apartment is a dining room. What are you supposed to have in the dining room in the walls of your apartment? A picture of the Reba. So you need a big picture. Big picture of the Reba in your dorm room with a bunch of people small picture have a picture of now you have to have a nice picture with a frame. So the question over here is so there was a Vassan and if you go into someone's apartment and you see a picture on the wall you can tell who gave the kala the picture. If you can tell if the friends of the gave the picture or the friends of the kala gave the picture how could she tell? No, >> I don't know. I never heard of this mimic. Yeah. >> Yeah. No, that's about the picture myself. Friends, the friends used to buy. >> Yeah. >> So, if the friends and you can tell who which friends the friends of the because they want to give a picture, I give a picture. So, friends want to give a gift. You a picture of the Reba. You give a gift so you can tell who gave the gift. If there was a serious picture of the reba the friends of the six there were serious pictures of the famous pictures in the room if there was a smiling reba so he knew the friends of the kala gave the picture so which is the real rabbi it's one rabbi it's one rabba Okay, that's very tightful. Everything is like we have to unpack each of these things. We can we can remind more and more. So you be mentioned. So what happened byass? >> Uh what happened? There was a band, there was music and we danced. >> Yeah. But how do you get engaged? >> How do you get engaged? How do you get engaged? >> Very good. How do you get engaged? You have to ask the You don't have to ask the You have to ask the That's You have to ask the Why do you have to ask the is not what you have to do is you don't have to do nothing. You don't have to do anything. What's have to >> Okay, very good. [laughter] Thank you for the hakdama. If you want to ask the Reb, >> you have a brain, you ask the Reb. >> Oh yeah. So you have to say if you want to have a [laughter] >> All right. So really it starts so yeah should you start in so so so we used to write in if you wanted so to say so it was an opportunity you could write in so it boiled down to two right so you have different so down to two hats and one was who I who I actually married and one was um another hat which had my but I wasn't sure about wasn't sure about something there I don't know what how express it but I wasn't sure. So I wrote this name first my my resonance name first and then the other name but about the second one I'm not sure you know if it's Gansson Masim. So he circled what I wrote I'm not sure and he he uh made a line to the first one and he wrote cause you're not sure therefore >> you're not sure. So I was buddy China. So we went a few times and I and and and went a few times then. Uh yeah. So you know how we proposed? >> How >> you want to hear a really interesting way to propose? No. >> Cuz I hear there's different ways of propose and it's a whole propose, right? So a propose means you ask her are you ready to write into the reb that's like a wow thus is proposed only if you are smart are you ready to write to them proposal and we're ready to write to So we wrote it to the Reb's proposal. >> It's not will you marry me? >> No, it's not. It's not [snorts] proposal proposal. Are you ready to write to the Rebon? So then at the end we wrote we wrote to the Reb and um so Ashhat was Rabbi Groner Groner himself. He was a neighbor of my over there on president in Udica area and so he gave the answer was him I think. >> What year are we talking about? >> Lamemed V. Mhm. Lamemed and so so I got we got an answer. So I got an answer that is since since she's a Basin which I didn't write that she's a coin because I didn't know he was a coin or not. was not part of the >> it wasn't on the resume. >> It wasn't on the resume. It was not to the anything but I discovered that she's a bas. >> Yeah. Yeah. I wrote and which is which is Yeah. brings a should then Um which is uh which is at that time was uncommon. >> What was the lion? >> Common lion. >> Yeah. >> You sure about this? >> Yeah. Now um that was the way we the way. >> So I think I have I think my parents have that mind from Lami. >> Okay. Land day >> the year before. >> Okay. So but but uh >> it was changing then basically >> it was changing then. >> Mhm. >> I don't know if it's exact exactly. We have to check. >> Yeah. But it was changing then. But some of my friends who that time that more or less in those months >> had or something. >> So depended. Right. So, and I never heard that that was an answer. So, I took it very to heart. You know, what does it mean? Maybe it was, you know, all things. It's a lotion in the in the letter. It's a lion that the letters the letter of the does >> how you say that to >> but so you know has to work on himself so and this answer is a whole and I thought it was then another person also got such an answer. So I took this very seriously and um yeah so that that was the the >> you took it seriously sorry >> um by the uh before we went to before the it's not two months later or a month and a half later before the so the first the kala go in with theim and the reb gives a a to all of them and then go out and give a letter to the rebb and the reb to so I asked my rabbis that I want to the After the Reb gives the bra to us, she should leave. I want to ask the Reb something personally and I gave it settle about this answer. I said I don't remember exactly the lion that I wrote but I took it very seriously. What does it mean? >> Like, >> you know, how seriously is this? >> Is it what your dilemma was? Cuz you didn't know what it means or cuz like it wasn't a regular answer like what was your dilemma? >> I'm not I mean >> Yeah. You're saying I mean >> I think there was also different I think I think like there there was like >> no I didn't know >> but there was I think could be yes. It rings a bell such a but so so he told me as >> sir um so says that zikar is right. It's kilu. My question was, do I know? I don't remember my question about kilu was the response was >> how do I know I'm fulfilling it? >> How do I fulfill it? and I was and I was I guess I was I took it very serious. And he says as he used the word >> like >> he didn't say what's yes I thought about by >> or is it mean then right now by the reb >> I didn't they made they printed a a a flyer recently about what I said. I didn't put it in there but said [snorts] so is the so is you know that's what he So the so by the by the minute by then there's the was two weeks later I don't remember by the shabas of the there was a if there was a um I guess was bays so there's a so the would give a bottle of smear to the office and then the reb would give out the bottles to the >> bring to the reb directly. >> No, he brought it to the office. He brought it to the office and then he will bring down all the bottles and then >> I think there was a time when >> it could be directed. >> I I don't think so. And then the Reba So he went to the Reb with a cup. the poured into my cup and he says to give it out a little now to make before on Shabas for the weekday and the rest is and then he hands me the bottle. When he hands me the bottle he looked me in the eyes and he says that he's using the lotion. >> He said he didn't tell anybody anything when he gave the bottle. He's like he's telling me, you know, you were into that, right? >> And you Yeah, he had brought it up again. So, Kilo, don't worry about it. I got it. And you got it. And it's good. Oh. Um, yeah. So after went to Ky after was in Ky was already going for Yad finished then it was going to and then suddenly the printing base and he gave the to make on Um Fabian he said a whole that was what's the prince B and it's a new and it's a gilly doesn't want to put any names to anyone who's the people used to work in the print or or used to prepare the the name was in it that says no there's a gill he doesn't want to put any names there it's too intense So, no names, but there's going to be printing it and he's going to give um he's going to give uh uh he's going to give um to Prince and he also wants of so after Rabiel goes to me and he says the coil should make that wants the coil should make So who's in then was to to be the so to say it was me and from he says go to to groner and he's going to give you instructions. It looks like um the goner asked who's sh to be in charge of this. So I was a kind of um as a also um also the recommended ask once in a while which choose a Russian because he wanted the Naz Russians but uh okay but um We >> Russian parents you mean? >> Yeah. Russian also came from Russia. >> Oh >> yeah. >> Um so he asked us go to go to the runner. So we we thought we're going to in the ky they're going to do we're going to we're going to make we go to the runner >> divide and conquer that was the plan >> not divide it's not conquer it's not divide it's to make it faster you know >> so we go to runner we have a shil because there's already made on all of the of that was already printed And for example, the first time they printed, they all did they cut and pasted everything that the Reb wrote in in that he made of of the took that out and I put it in print in the back of so why don't we just do that? What does he want us to do? He says no. He says also have made. So he says no that's not what he has in mind. Because the rebl what the reb meant but that means is that when theb made so he was a lot to v but it would it wouldn't cover everything that's invol so the only things which are of such uh universal emphasis that in the big picture of all of the he quoted he cited but if you're making only it should be more specific okay so we started asking kite who's shak basically it boiled down to me and um wrote a couple be but really it was boiled down to me and we just divided base I did like five six he did five six in the beginning we weren't sure what how to make it so we made a of one or two we sent it into was very pleased and he gave a bra and um he gave us a nice um the reba Uh then we got a they started printing iron base but we were working with photographs copies of what the rebba took of the >> fre was the I think it was the also the rebba said by the reb gave him to watch >> he knew when he don't make copies it looked Looks like it was those copies that he gave to us because it was a it was by then the Xerox was making cop machines paper on paper. Those were photograph copies. He went to a photo photographer to make a picture of every page. That's what that was. Was not so thick glossy, but it was photo. Must spent a lot of money on that. Mhm. >> And that box he gave us to to to work on. So we worked on that. So that was about a half a year, three or four months. >> Wow. >> We're busy on iron base. >> So give his own you see that's what it is. Yeah. >> Yeah. Also the numbers he had numbers on each page in pencil look like the handwriting. >> You guys understood this. Yeah, I guess. >> Yeah. No, we saw we saw that that was >> amazing. Crazy. >> Wow. So you you went to Karakis before you you're here, right? You had a you had >> Yes. So it was after hearing those um to so I I asked should I continue or should I look for the said look for at the same time I asked to look for and what should I look for you as yeah all that possibilities So that means >> whatever is more practical. So I ask what does that mean? He says you have a you're asking clistic question what what I should do fine. So you you're ready to do all possibilities >> to tell us what's possible. >> Who said that? Who said that you have such an offer? You have such a possibility. answer questions about. So, so the Reb, so um soon after that comes to me and he says, "What? They're starting a new car and you'll behave." What's the Yeshiva? like this they started opening new yeshivas at the time. I think Miami is was earlier but they opened then in in New Haven and in Seattle and in um Cincinnati maybe also the opening city. What's opening in yeshiva said 10 like no and you're going to be there. So I wasn't sure I was more in 77 the last two years was in more I was into Nigla earlier very heavy into Nigla but uh this was this was uh but then I was a kind of I was really focus so bottom line is should I So, so I asked him, you know, he was say Yeshua. I says, you know, I was a kind of but he remembers me also from before I was also into Nigla. Bottom line, he says he thinks it's it's a it's a good idea. I'll do okay. They wrote the Reba and the Reb gave us braa and I asked I'm not sure and I I said I ment says um he underline what and say yes said and he um so we went to Karacus I wanted to first travel to Karacus to see what it's like right sounds normal yeah so you want to hear something not normal I went without going. We went blindly to Caracus. It's not such a pretty city. It was a good community. It's not the that's there now. But uh it was of a community. There was half a there was prosperity over there. And we accomplished a lot in there. the the bakim and the perman and Mrs. experiment but uh I wanted I said I wanted to go see it to travel there but uh the said you know they started the yeshiva the balatim are going to it's better if it just comes as a fact >> surprise >> no but he had involved the raonim >> the raarashi rabbi brener of the yeshi of the karakas ashkanazi community and of from the community they were on board but it looks like they didn't ask the they wanted to bring it looks like Brener was a that's what he told me was a with the said you know you should make yeshiva in Karacus it's really came from from the rebba told Rabbi Param you know the reb suggests I make yeshiva what about And perman wrote to the rebba and the rebba looks like approves it wanted it and he came to meant like and says I need but apparently it was much better for theas if we come down without so that's what happened so wrote to the you have to be crazy not to go there and the says you should listen to the alasar. So like a good boy I listen we went there over there it wasn't so posit inner city but we were there for seven years and um did you and then when you end up coming back to New York that that thing was finished so right away you end up in Brighton the beach. No. Um, >> how did you get I mean you're you're I think you have a also is a sh like you're like you're part of a you're also like how do you get all these like that's very unusual. How does that how does that happen? >> So uh so was the um the Reb. So I was doing a bunch of things and then um there was a vadum a flap >> and the president talking when he came back to New York. >> Yeah. Yeah. Asking about the this the different hats. >> Yeah. >> And the president was Rabbi Bamza Bamzer. Of course. >> So, he says, "I would like you to become a vice president." >> But this is You're living in Crown Heights. >> No, this is when I was already I'm skipping. >> Yeah. >> I hope it doesn't confuse you. You'll be able to handle it. >> Yeah. Well, >> you're listeners. You're listening for sure. So, uh, so what happened? So, he asked me to become a vice. So I tell him I'm I'm my my plate is full. I have no So he says the Reba. So the Reba answered me, "Yeah, you should do it." The Reba didn't stop. Everybody should do more and more more and more and more and more work. Soon after that, I couldn't be with together. >> So knew the Reba, huh? >> Oh yeah. Soon after I asked the Reban, how do you handle how do you have the Reb? >> I asked the Reb. >> Yeah. >> Because there's so many things that I have to do. >> Yes. You have to have that's not an easy thing. So the says you got to the second time I had at least the second time I had a I asked and he wrote on the paper you got on the set he wrote you got I was standing very close cuz I wanted to hear see the rebel were by the desk I was standing and he's there sometimes you couldn't see his his his face cuz his hat >> there was looking at I was looking at it settle go like this you read it settle fast so I stay mish close by the desk and I could see he's writing on my tetle your guy to matsa years later I asked my grooner is there a file of [laughter] he says why you asking I says because I saw the right on my set he he wrote your guy to he had a pencil used to write it. Why did he write it? So he just told it to me. >> Mhm. >> He says the took her to the I heard later that others told me that the Reb wrote on their settle >> things >> things. So think about this. So it makes a lot of sense that he took it to the aisle. >> Is that right? Where else did he take the set of that people wrote the either with he tore out stuff and other stuff he sent to the incinerator. >> Mhm. >> It was private. So he's writing on it settle. He got to masa. He told me he got to he's not giving me the settle. So it makes a lot of sense. And he took it to the oil. And by the way, I I was a few times watching the rash he would read sat people sent him but he here what's going on is by he answered the thing and he's taking it to the think about it wants his answer also to the >> exactly and I I know other people also So at least ask a for something and he says give him an answer. So it's done and the Reb is taking that to the oil and by the oil he's bringing it again. This person is there and he was by me and he said and I told him as I'm saying this I'm thinking you know >> cuz he he he really he's taking with him to doing it again. So you have to implement it. >> I'm just saying also. >> Mhm. [sighs and gasps] >> He took his stuff also that he already answered and he already said and he took it to the aisle spending hours and hours by the >> So you were in having yet? [sighs] That's that's that's for a different finger. >> By the way, when you left Karacus, you like knew that you still you need to find the different like it was clear to you that you need to find a different I know some people that left. So I don't know they settled in Kites. I don't know. No. So I'll tell you this this is also a very important um so that's all came for uh for Brighton beach so I I had started writing my silk I started writing it in Karacus I started not because I'm interested in per se Zh I I wasn't happy with the with the cautious of the meat in Karacas and there was an older a Hungarian there and I figured if I know how to I I could it's going to be a different with him >> can have an influence >> a stronger influence because I didn't like some of the things that was going on bottom line I learned the when I learned So besides I was learning I think when's going to have a chance to learn properly and aspe there's a lot of lomness. So my really is saying and I found a lot of lness and I started writing it and we used to send to the Reb and I sent to the Reb and about 15 20 pages that I typed up about this is also what I'm working on and the Reb answered me um I told this is what I'm doing. I don't think I asked him clearly but he said >> if they think what they think of what I writing >> if they should >> and if they're if they're even then you should publish those if there's a suffic and they're even so then be be to publish it I didn't write much I just wrote maybe on one simmon or a simil I continue work on that that's and uh during that year about that I was between karacas and then I was focusing on finishing that safer and that's what I so the most of the was then this took took a few years till I decided I'm done with it because I was busy with other things and pile was printed off. It was published. >> It was published by Kohus and uh when I sent in my the galley so to say the first um printing page printed pages I sent in about you know about a sim or two to the Reb that uh ready to print it. So he said wasn't complete. So this was like a big thriller that means satin red he said redi and he he says t that was like a big thrill and then when it was printed I sent it in and it's it's now behind the rebba's desk >> in the reb's room >> in the reb's room in the it ended up in a in a bookcase behind on the left >> right behind the reba >> which is uh I I guess it's special. >> Yeah, sure. >> We're talking about >> So, >> you're saying so um so then there was a sats of uh Brighton Beach. I wasn't sure if I want to go, don't want to go. The Reb encouraged us to go and I was offered to uh send in a resume and the Reb writes I didn't get I got to send in a resume and maybe go for a proba. So, so I said, "Oh, this is in the bag." And the president of the at that time was a lab, Dr. Broner. >> Mhm. >> And he had been in touch with what he think about this to take care by winner etc. Went to shush and lost the vote by two two votes. This was like possible such a thing. They say there was a boiled down to two candidates. The board of directors didn't like the way the other candidate was negotiating with them. He says come back out to us and the rest is the same. >> My my question was >> so so was dear about so I came to me and I saw this as >> Mhm. Because I'm pas I could find pasa if I was a businessman I'm not there for pas I saw this especially the the my some of my friends like and others went on the told them the first choice is becoming a in in a community is not the way it works in America but that's but I saw this other especially the was encouraging me so I was doing the bottom line is in Zion I think or was the first but I wasn't called it was already the second I called every I'm doing I want to go to the I said but you're not what do you mean I'm not I'm doing the no you're not working for you're not working for You're not working and it's not only you who asked there's other and others in in America wanted and they were not invited. I was very upset. So I was not upset. I'm not here to be a job. I'm here to do. So I wrote to the Reba a letter. I I should open up my guts. I never wrote to the a page and a half. A page like this 8 by 10 a page and a half. I used to write small notes to the take this time that from from yeshiva from I wanted to go on and really we were we were t piped up you know pumped up to go to bringing ms to go I wasn't to go when we wrote and settle as we went into settled together we're ready to go every day was going sent us we're in and asked for volunteers to go to a lot of my friends went to we also volunteered but we weren't chosen to go to then we went to Karacus then over here the only reason I was interested in in in this is the gave me and I saw this is so and I'm doing the and just because I'm doing the and because it's not under there for some reason cuz it bothered me. It hurt me. [sighs] So answered one line. So I went to Mosquito sent me to New York is Dascin. I went to David after some negotiation he appointed me in my neighborhood >> besides the in the neighborhood. >> Yeah. first you're anyways I said so I was telling listen in my neighbor alone there's this there this 50,000 100,000 yakas had 20,000 yakas has the over there before I came then I came down and then tb came down so you you have someone to put over there in my neighborhood you have you put in my neighborhood I'm ready to take responsibility for Okay, but you're already busy and yes yes your yes your yes your yes your yes your yeshiva bottom line is listen I'm going to I'll eventually hire somebody else to help me I'm taking responsibility I'm going to raise money and do pool so bottom line I became but that's a very important point I asked I told the I'm doing the work and then I'm the didn't tell me The didn't tell me tell me that I'm don't worry about it or my eyes you're said. This is a you can't make yourself to beh you want to be good and the said everybody is yes we know that and anybody whether you're or a businessman you're doing the is to a certain degree you're tak but but this which the made of which is t foundation of this is has its own way of working and it's to be the not to be a rabbi in >> not enough to be a rabbi in so itaka made a corporation and I raised funds And I started doing pulas and I and I sent into that s proved me to be in my neighborhood and that's how it started. Now I have ready my son and another son and uh it's Kazak then another son in adjacent neighborhood a daughter in another adjacent neighborhood and um so they took it to a whole different uh >> but you're saying that for >> I think the moral of the story is that right yeah but what what what was the convict I guess it could have gone either way like you if the would have said you Is it going right? >> Yeah. >> But he said no. He's saying you have to do the extra step. You have to do the extra. >> No, I have to go through the system. >> Right. >> He he said this there's a system, >> right? >> What is he sending to meas? So I go to to so I bumped into after the sa I just bumped into rebinsky. So I had spoken many times to masque which which is mel could be either mascus or melik. >> So it's and >> has there was under mascus not under meal. >> Okay. Whatever. Yeah. >> That's already he bumped into. And I says I want to go into I want to ask about says says don't waste your time New York City is under you have to go to so I didn't go to I didn't go to but I I met the years before that as a bak I used to I I my mother used to go into also he would advise her different things it's another discussion >> okay winner this has been amazing and your males. So we can be sitting here for many many many many many many many hours of I think stories that we can talk about. So really appreciate it and uh you should continue. I don't I'm not understanding how you could be a fundraising and and I don't so maybe offer you'll give me some tips how to juggle different things. Thank you Rabbi winner. Amen. Amen. Thank you very much.