Ep. 18: The Children Who Were Raised By The Rebbe with Rabbi Mendel Scharf

You know when a person's home, his father's home, his parents are home, this is where they feel like, you know, this is where they feel comfortable and this is where they feel at home and this is where they feel that this is their place and this is they have a feeling of belonging and they know who they are and they know what they are and they know who is there for them. So the habit did that for us in 770 on a regular daily basis not from time to time. I'm Yasi Cayman. Welcome to among an ongoing faban about life as our vibrant connection with the Reb and inspired living shaped by the way he teaches us each and every day. How are you? >> How are you? >> Doing well. Okay, so let's uh get right to it. Um, so I know you in a different capacity that Barakashem I guess I'm a Talmud of yours definitely definitely learned more than one thing. So uh definitely legally. Um but before that I obviously knew right like the rest of Labavich who you who who you were because uh I mean I wasn't I was alive. I don't know if I was around, but anyone that was around and als [Music] Je did a very nice uh video about it few years ago, but uh I don't know actually in the we in the magazine we've been featuring this whole year in the Lebanon column and now we're moving on to starting and there's actually just right more than once we we the shs have been featured in that column just because it's disgusting what happened those years um there's a picture of your brother's dollars right and um just now I think it's in L magazine there's a picture of the of the of the three boys, you, your brother, your two brothers by the Anyway, so I guess we could start off to uh just talk about how that happened, what happened, and uh take us through that very special that uh for some reason that we probably don't understand you to have and you still have with the Um I I think at this point we can say it's almost but for for me it's not because it's article part of life maybe a very part of life. Um so um it's how did it start? It started from the Reba. Now maybe I'm not it's not all the way in the beginning, but it's just something that I didn't um I for sure didn't remember and I didn't see until just mamish a few days ago, maybe a week or two ago. And my brother sent me a little clip. Um in those years when the Reba would give out dollars after M which was uh became with a time even more but it became almost common that the Reb would give out dollars after sometimes with the if it was a there was for sure dollars after the but sometimes the would give out dollars without a um and I always knew because I remember that we were always the first ones or almost always the first ones to get the dollar. We were the first ones on the line. The gave us a dollar. Then the would give a dollar and Jimmyari a dollar. Or maybe I have to sayari a dollar and then whatever the line would go whatever. I just figured that I pushed myself there which is probably the way it was. But um I just saw something which for me was a very um it was very special to see it even though I didn't remember it at all. And I I don't I don't remember it. I just saw it in the clip. I think it was the came down to give dollars. I think the and then the went down to give dollars and they brought down the actual that the used for the for the to give out dollars. The truth is I'll be honest, I didn't watch the whole video. I just see them bringing down the second which the usually used for the so that's why I'm assuming the set that night we could check it out later and we hadn't come maybe I didn't know that was going to give out dollars so we were just like standing in the regular place by the go right right off like in front of the and the stood to give out dollars and we weren't on the So the hebab turns around to find us. We were right behind the and the gave us a dollar. The gave my brother a dollar. Give my brothers a dollar. The gave me a dollar. And then the turns back around to give everyone else a dollar. So um how do I say it? I I felt a little, you know, this is the way the way the way the Reb wanted it to be. So really that's um that is what happened really in a certain sense not in a certain sense completely um it wasn't like a plan thing that we're going to stand by the reba um it wasn't a thing in those days that a person who was a yum stood next stood near theba to say kadesh it wasn't the way it was afterwards there was a few there were a few And um the didn't not much yas from the towards them by I mean whatever by by it was like very bullet I don't know if you maybe going to cut this out was like the didn't pay much attention and by shapiro was a little bit you know that the exception was actually in tin b was le pines the few times before that they came they got unbelievable um I don't remember if it was once for sure once maybe even twice when they were by the actually gave them so I remember the rebba actually gave them in middle of the faban from the rabbi gave them and um it was it was then also the father was sitting behind where the kanim would sit and the gave also to him from the to wine from the but um wanted us to be there. Um >> can you start from the beginning? >> The beginning mish the first thing that I remember very specifically myself. So, so what what what I'm saying what happened your >> what happened was that in the beginning of noon that um my father passed away um it was on the shabas the was on Sunday which is obviously um I went to 770 but there was no we were we stood all the way in the back there was no nothing that I know about nothing that I saw I heard things but I don't know about them as a fact. Um the first thing that I could remember specifically clearly because definitely already between a few times we stood near the not necessarily all the way where we would stand afterwards for the next two and a half years but we definitely stood there and I remember being there and I even have some pictures of that time but I think the gave out dollars every night between noon and I I don't remember which night but one of those nights um the gave me a dollar like after ding the g after mariam the gave out dollars and I went to get a dollar and the gave me a dollar and the looked at me when the gave me a dollar which was always the way it was the gave the gave a smile that was um you know one of those very very special smiles that the he would And I remember I was I was not even I was not even 8 years old. First of all, I remember it very clearly. But I remember at the time it lit something inside of me. It did something to me. It it lifted me up. Um I remember and we came home then my mother wasn't in shul for that dabing. My mother I should say ala shaleim and um she were your mother just passed away. >> Yeah my mother passed away on test s that's about two and a half months ago. Um so I remember going home David Hassel had taken us 770 David Hel is a cousin of my father and um I remember going home and telling my mother about he's the he was the teacher >> he was the teacher it could be he's still a teacher I don't know what he does now >> he was a teacher for many many years >> he was my teacher okay >> oh he was your teacher also okay he was he was a cousin of my father, not a first cousin but like second cousin or something. >> My father is from >> my father is from um so I remember like coming home and telling I mean it wasn't the first time I went by the I had >> I was going to ask were you by the a lot before this? Yeah, I I I I would I would hang out not puns, not not anywhere. If I would compare it to after Shaun, it would be almost zero. But um I we we went to dollars, we went to the I remember being at the Zish Shabas with my father. Um I would stand next to him at first and then I stood I went to the kids' place when I got a little older. Maybe a little older means like six, you know. So then I already went to you know I was I was ready to go away from standing near my father. If I stood near my father I mean those years I was like you know it was my father stood between the whole squish of 770 and he didn't usually hold me. So I was between the singing >> where's the kids place by the >> the kids place is on top of the be on the rabb's on the floor on the rabb's left is where I used to sit sometime I used to sit from shab some people sit on the right eventually most people didn't really sit on the right um that lasted for a while until I uh okay we said there's a certain an individual which we're not going to name right now who stood a little bit behind Rabakov that's very near the children's place because he had a cheer >> also on the left and this individual had a way of commanding sometimes you know he would lose it and sometimes in an extreme way even relative to 770 and I don't remember all the pin but one time something happened not with me directly was with someone else but I was too close to him so I told my father I'm not going back there and I went back to standing near my father um I remember being Friday nights by David um whatever I mean obviously rallies like parades um dollars I mean we were there um I have a dollar from dollar that's the first Sunday dollars at the ga dollars so I don't remember getting the dollar but I know I was cuz I have the dollar. Um I mean we went by our bison were actually upstairs the three boys the bri were upstairs in 770. That was the seda. I guess that was to say I don't think it was something unique that only my parents did the police itself not the was upstairs in 770. So um by by um he was born um you so 8 days later make the it was on a Sunday I guess he was born on a Sunday so it was on a Sunday and the rabbi gave a dollar because it was on a Sunday so right after the bree which was in the z upstairs that's where the bri was the actual bri so right after the brief we went to get a dollar from the rebba Um, and Abby, >> yeah, >> your father, could you tell me a little bit? I know that your father was very involved with Mu Hudi. I just re recently came out a video of him giving a speech at 770. I don't know if you saw it about Miy. Was that like that was like a passion project? What was that? Yeah, it was he was he was he came as a >> he had a job, right? >> He had a job. It wasn't his >> Mhm. >> Um he came he came it's not what I heard from him because you know it's from what I heard from others. He came to the Rebal that means when he came and it was the truth that the Reb spoke very very strongly about Yehudi and became much stronger I think a little bit later and he got very like he got very taken by it and he wanted to do something about it. So he got he got involved and he had a he had a very big in writing and he also had a sometimes in talking to people. So he would write articles and he would speak to and I remember he brought the um one of the to our house professor a shaki um >> yeah bigassid I mean he was he was proud >> you say your father your father your father is the one that connected him to to the rabbi you're saying is that what you're saying >> I don't know if my father's the one who connected him to the even though he did once like introduce him to the dollars. I'm not sure if it started with my father. I don't know and I don't really have anyone to ask. But um >> Shaki was a a >> Yeah, he was a and he fought for the against everyone else. I mean he wasn't like >> he he didn't get any popularity for being >> for being connected to the so yeah I mean I I was always I I I always I mean the was our whole life was was the house was we always spoke about the was always everything revolved around the what the said and what the did and you know this was um >> and both my parents were very very >> Oh yeah so I want to ask you about your mother also I understand your mother bloomfeld and send there's a lot of from the to her to her father >> the grandfather >> her father her father >> what was that about >> and he was in Brazil >> hard to know I'm not sure what I know that he lived in he was he lived in Brazil he didn't live in Brazil to be but eventually became the of de janeiro apparently was influential position and I think the rabbi did a lot of things through him. >> Was he a lab? >> He was I mean he became a lab. >> Okay. >> Um he I don't even know. I don't think he had a beard when he got married. He was >> Oh, he's American. >> I mean he was an American but he eventually landed in America. I think he was originally. >> Okay. I think but yeah he became a lab he married my my my grandmother was a lababacha from the beginning my grandmother was a few generations in lababich um but uh he had some from the rabbi he had many letters from the I don't know much about that that's the truth and um my mother also had you know she had a longer yidus as a by the Reba and um I don't know all the at this point because I don't remember everything but I I I know that the Reb had told to keep out an eye on my mother and that you know whenever my mother needs something she should go to >> but she was learning ink >> and she was learning ink this is in that in you know in that around that time >> um she had a very she was she was obsessed with the in a very simple words in every way from all the way from the first time she saw the um so yeah but this so back to this time that the gave the dollar in it wasn't the first time the looked at me it wasn't the first time that I looked at But it was very different and it um the reaction was very different and um the it was from that moment that the Reba pit lifted me up and lifted up my whole family um in a very practical um tangible way. Um, sukisin I would say is like the big turning point if you if it has to be defined that way. Um after davening we were there for the davening >> the first night the first night of sukus is exactly a week after after my father passed away was also on a Friday night obviously and after we said kadesh and then the rabbi would say was the said every night sukus and on yum it could be tough was the first time it could be not so so you know I can't know for sure but definitely then they extended because they can't use a microphone on on shabas and yam they extended the back of the bim um it should go more towards more towards the back of the sh not all the way back but like a good few feet more in so The Reb should be more when the Reb says the Reb should be more in the crowd. So that was like an extension to the BM and Reb went to say the and they were singing in probably and we although by Davening we were actually closer to the women but then >> you already started ding next to the Reb right away. >> Yeah. Yeah. I I don't know how that happened, but we were dabbing >> saying Kadesh, whatever. >> We were saying Kadesh. I don't know if we were all the way in that corner or near the corner. Um I don't know, maybe it was just with the regular kids. I don't even remember. It could be I was just standing in the kids' place. But either way, once the rabbi was saying the everyone would come into the where the kids would stand and >> where where is that? That's right in front of the kadesh. That whole area in front of the kadesh because everyone searched forward. So here they have >> it's a test. Yeah. Because it's it was closed. It was you know it was closed on the one end of the there was a table then there was a table going all the way down till the wall >> was always like that or they thought >> eventually it was always for sure from it was always and then you had the wall is like is the whatever either way that's that's what we called it I don't know if it's really >> the was it was it was closed off I mean >> Mhm. Um I remember it not being closed off in the mess but in these years it was closed off at least I think so maybe it started in olive for sure y if it was closed off either way I was already all the way pushed back like past kadesh or by kadesh I mean this obviously is not taking more than 120 seconds but leel um actually saw was um I looked up and I saw that the label growner was running down the steps of the the of the bimma and there was like a clearing that opened in 770. People didn't make room for people. That wasn't one of the things that they did. So I didn't think it was anything to do with me. But within a second I knew it was for me obviously, but it was a little whatever. And then I was with my brother. The Reba had obviously wanted us to come over and we came up the B and we sat down on the floor right next to the Reb's feet next to the stand and the Reb looked down at us and the wased very strong. encouraged made with his hand. Um that's how we used to say made with his hand. Um a few times they looked at us very strong and that was it. From then we were always there and you know if we missed or we weren't there then uh would would look around to see where we were. So we we really got the message that we need to be there. Um whether it was the you know my mother figured that the night of it's late at night we shouldn't we don't have to go that's but looked where we were. So that was the last that we missed. Um the you know Shabason. That's the first Shabas. Um, we didn't, my mother wasn't going to slept little kids to Shabas till we're going to come for 10:30 for but the when we got there we were told that the was looking for us. I mean expected us to be there. Um my just recently my brother um asked my mother like how did you do it? You know the mamish the only reason why it was able to work. The only reason why it happened was because my mother slept us there every single day for at night in the morning. We were in yes and but every single night from sometimes it was hours the went to the and we didn't know when the is going to come back by every by every anytime the came to seventh sabi we were there. So so my brother asked her just recently she was already not well like like what what was your thought process? I mean, you're a mother of little kids, a three-year-old. I mean, everyone knows what happens in the house at at night. You have to put the kids to bed and you have little kids. It's not a slept the whole family out every single night and the everything it's not a it's a very complicated Indian. So, like what were you thinking like what was the process? What was the you know? So my mother said that I didn't think the Reba wanted. So that's it. So that was really it was a very clear message from the Reb that the Reb wants us there. But this is only from like what I mentioned when we were not there but maybe more in the from the in the strongest is from when we were there. The Reb um would look at us a lot during the evening and the Reb would look at us to say amen and would say amen like in a way that you know the would slowly mouth the amen because the we couldn't hear the singing. women were down and especially a lot and my younger brother Shalom who's bamish 3 years old and there was just a a tremendous you know it was a tremendous um attention attention is not the best word but it was a tremendous attention that the Reb gave us and the Reb um made us feel that we are that we belong that we are part of the you know we're part of we have an identity we have a we have a foundation we have a we we are we felt like we're the in the very simple way and that we have someone who's looking after us and someone who's taking care of us and someone who's paying attention to us and someone who cares what's happening with us um And really, you know, it's very in a very gashmistic sense, not a very sense, in a very very gashistic sense. And um um it became like we knew that I mean the but we knew that the is the should do that for us. It was like it was it was mindboggling but at the same time very very quickly it became very very natural. In other words, it didn't feel like like this is shouldn't be happening. Yeah. This is the way it is. I maybe it's not so nice to say it but I I I felt like the king of 770. I felt like you know I could go where I want. I could do what I want because the is is the sometimes, you know, it also for sure expressed itself a little bit negatively. But um that's what the rabbi did. I'm just I'm I'm only mentioning it because I want to bring out what the habit did for us and to what extent it impacted our psyche, our general feeling as as as as just as people, you know, um the the a person needs a needs a you know when a person's home, his father's home, his parents are home. This is where they feel like you know this is where they feel comfortable and this is where they feel at home and this is where they feel that this is their place and this is they have a feeling of belonging and they know who they are and they know what they are and they know who is there for them. So the habit did that for us in 770 on a regular daily basis, not from time to time. When I um I actually found myself recently have my kids in and I wanted my my young son to say amen. So I found myself uh like tapping him on the shoulder and like mouthing to him like a thing. I got that from I saw from the videos how they have this guys. I realize that's a that's a way to do it >> just yeah I mean the truth is there's no question that it hap it for sure happened sometimes that the looked at us and tried to say with us and we didn't even realize that the was looking at us not a question >> yeah go like this and then you know would look and you know often the would catch our attention sometimes not but we knew that the was always looking at And this was also by the Fabian also. There was a say there things that happened. No >> by the Fabian. Um the Reb would give um by basically by every Fabian the Reb would give a piece of cake to my brother Shalom. Um it was usually either by the niggan before the first in those years and raised the would they would start with the niggan would make kdish they would start with the niggan and then afterwards theb would say the first. So the would give Shalom a piece of cake either by the niggan before the first and sometimes by the niggan after the first. Um but the sham was the one who got the piece of cake every week. If it was yum, then it was a piece of kala by the If it was um it was a piece of muz cuz that's what the had it was it was um it was it was um it was it was it was m And yeah, we said but that was regular that was for that was everyone. Um and then we would stand there by right there by the in place. They would put a stander there by in front of the beam that was on the reb's right when the would sit by the would put a stand and the would would go there was right ahead of the like a few feet in front of the Reb. And um throughout this time uh so also you went every Sunday dollars every time. >> Not not every Sunday. So most Sundays we were ina but in the summer so in the summer of Shinon we went for every Sunday dollars because there's no day camp on Sunday. So we go to sh and then >> in the summer. >> Yeah. And then we would go they get a dollar from the um or other times that there was no school. [Music] just sticks out for specifically um we was also on a Sunday and there was obviously no for so now when we would get Sunday dollars so obviously can't just go by getting a dollar so after davening we would go they would lock the room after the shah they lock the dollar room, what's called the magnet room. That that room right when you walk into 770 in the main building, they would lock it until the he would come out to give out dollars and then they would unlock it. So we were always in that room while it was locked. Um from after sh would come out and that we're talking about. And so also this option is the um is the and a few days after was Friday in Thursday night and Friday the gress in theb's house and this was Sunday a few days the day that night was. So the came out to give out dollars and we were obviously standing right there to get a dollar and the started speaking ah instead of giving out dollars the started speaking a um it was a short for a few of a few minutes but it was as if the was talking to us because we were standing right there. Um afterwards the people who gave and mentioned about and um I don't know why but in if we didn't go anymore on Sundays even when there was no I'm not sure what if there was a specific reason or my mother just felt that was not the way we should do it. I would go sometimes, you know, even even for sure, you know, I would after was over, I would sometimes decide that I'm going on the line and getting a dollar, whatever. I would go upstairs over there. I had my ways, but but um in general, we wouldn't we didn't go on every Sunday for a dollar. Um when they have whenever we give about a dollar after davening we would um we would go get a dollar obviously give a contras or a so then for sure we would go and um so I saw that um so this whole thing of standing were there any was there anyone else so your place you stood was in between the b and bma was anyone else there or was just you you >> no not usually regularly there was no one else there >> so >> you know yeah >> yeah go ahead now I I I what happened by the when you finished kadesh because that was that's actually that was in tish that was an L at that >> I saw that you put it I don't I remember it a little bit differently but >> so I remember >> but um I remember that it was right after the came into sh I should look at the video because there's a video of it and right after the came into for that's be the first that we weren't saying kadesh >> so you weren't there for >> we were there for ma >> the last kadesh >> that was the last kadesh that ma there was a rally I think for campuna finishing Um and actually we left a very rare thing we left in middle the was still in 770 cuz we were making a in my house with a that day and it had to be done before. I had actually gotten a bottle of mashk from the on the shabas before for that. >> You went up to I was up already but yeah I got a bottle. I can actually show you the month >> the whole story. >> Does it say the story? >> So the would give out mashka for people who are making a faban or some sort of event like that. You know the didn't want it. There's a whole about it but they wanted it to be forans really. And they say that the would pour. >> So the would open up the battle or sometimes the would pour from the bottle into the from the into the battle. And I always used to like to watch um the little bit the red uh the wine going into the bottle of Mashk. It had like this nothing significant. It's just like what I used to get caught up as a kid. I mean sometimes there was a lot of battles. So it was it was already not so red anymore because the wine turned into mashka. >> But then and then the person would announce what the event is. >> So the would then pour from the battle into the person's cup to say and the would close the would close the battle. This is all the way filmman base and they give the battle to the to the person who was taking the thing and then the person would announce the 770 why he's why he's doing the and they would always invite the angadish [Music] you know so I had prepared a few lines to say you know in I don't remember now anything of what it was what were the words even though I like repeated it and I knew do it by heart backwards and forwards. Um the pale um the gave me the turned around. So I was standing already right here. Most of the people get it from over the table. I was standing in the right. So the turned around the gave me some mashk in the in the cup. I said and the gave me a piece of cake because I was a little kid and Mashk is a little uh sharp and the then gave me the battle and I was supposed to make the announcement. Now I wasn't very eager to make the announcement and it's a very busy time is giving out mashk and people are announcing. It was not a very massudic situation. So I figured that I could get away without saying anything. So I went to the I went to the side around label growner to stood on the other side of label growner because label was there to help with the bottles and I figured I'm I'm I'll I'll be good stopped giving out the mashk and the turned around and the waited for me to um make the announcement. So obviously at that point I said my announcement and um then when I finished the rabbi went back and continued with it was already almost over and that was the that was a very big thing >> among is brought to you by we live in a chaotic world a world where for usim We do not have the ability to hear and see the on a daily basis. Yet we know that the is very much with us and is alive and thriving more than ever before. One needs to only tap into it. Provides you and your family with the tools necessary to tap into all of this. Whether it's the monthly magazine, the way it all began, whether it's their hair books, their hair online content, and so much more, men, women, and children throughout the world benefit and use these tools on a daily basis. Whether it's children enjoying the children's magazine that comes along with the regular dehair or enjoying the children's podcast. 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Um you know in a year a little bit more than a year later before my father's second I again took a battle for a faban and this time I don't know what we think the first time someone suggested that we should all go to the so the poured all three of us a little bit of mashka in a cup and the gave each one of us a piece of cake the closed the bottle and gave me the bottle. We said to the we went back and I was I was going to pull the same and I did this time actually successfully the didn't turn around and and tell me to uh to um you know stop everyone for me to give my announcement. >> Mhm. >> Um I have my why but you know that's what happened to Pale. [Music] that would not be you know that's what happened but either way back to so there was a so we left 770 when the was still saying the to the camp and um either way we came back from and from what I remember it was after the was already in the sh I should really look it in the video. Um, a certain individual came to tell us that we, you know, we should come out of that little corner because I don't think he explained anything, but I understood, you know, we finished saying kades, so you're done. Um, it was a very big >> You're already there. The guy, this guy pulled you out. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Even if it was before the came in, we were already there. I think the came in, but I could check. We could check later. Um the feeling was a terrible feeling because what does that mean for for any for everything about me and everything about I mean it wasn't just like a technical thing you're standing you're standing there means that you have a place not that you have a physical place means that you belong if you're not there anymore then you're on your own it was very short in the end but it was a very frightening I I remember at the time it was very very frightening. I was with my two brothers and I was like trying to take whatever. It was a very frightening few moments and the turned around the was looking the was looking and if I remember correctly looked all the way around so he right away told us it was very clear that we have to go back. >> The ex was was but >> the never happened. I mean I'm assuming that plainly said to this plane plainly you know after what's called you should tell time to make a say there with this >> yeah um there was definitely people who wanted it to be over there was very clear I' I heard I heard enough uh you know this doesn't have to necessarily be published but I remember in um inves one of the insh Um things were very crazy at the time but whatever I'm not going through all the but um there were mish being I guess because for the not to to have more space at some at some point like the mish I think they shut down the whole kid side at all even on the left at least maybe by certain and either way so um they wanted I don't know I guess it was shagal's father whatever they the shagaliff stood over there was standing next to me by If I bring in rice, but if I bring another right and one of the bad um basically kicked them out and sent them flying and the were like telling him like why are you doing this? So he said I would even send away the sharps but the he is not going to be happy or something like that. Like in in other words, it was not um it was only wanted it. It wasn't necessarily that everyone around everyone else around wanted it. Obviously, the didn't uh didn't have an issue with it, but you know, people who had different different positions, >> right? >> Um but um Lee, that was it. I mean, Mr. Well, the prayer of the Heb continued to look at us and the Reb continued to say, "Amen." You know, there was definitely there's no question that the first kufa after my father passed away, there was a much stronger like literally to pick you up and to elevate you and to uplift you. The you know call us the really could you say the word invested in in in connecting to us and in lifting us up and in you know to make us feel that we're not by ourselves. >> Something happened my dening. something happened in my dening. I remember very little, very vague of it because I didn't really know what was going on. Recently, like a few years ago, my sister told me that she actually saw it from from the vibes. >> Your sister's upstairs. >> What happened? My sister was upstairs in the vibers in the Eastern Park revor. So, she could have she had like a very direct view. She said that the reb was tough was or I'm not sure which one. And by by by the turned all the way around and they say that the was going to take us under the rabb's palace, but who knows? But then when Groner saw it, so that turned around. So um he took us under his talis and we talked whatever for a few years we went under his talis for for >> and during during these years >> it was really hard to know. Oh, I know people said that I remember people at the time said how much was going to take you. Some people actually said you were under the stalis like people like thought that >> the way I heard is that like maybe like the like >> so that's what my sister said. That's what my sister said. >> I heard >> that's what my sister said. She think >> the looked like picked up and then ran away. >> Maybe the was just being Miss that right. Anyway, I was never under the Yeah. But the rabbit definitely made sure that we were under a talis if you know that's for sure. you know what could have been what was the you know we could speculate as much as we want but um speculation is just that the speculation >> right >> but the habit took care to make sure that we had a talis to be under um you know there was not >> and during those years um also by by that was right in the first month >> yeah it was just a little bit after a month the HB was one month. This was you the dial. It was on a Sunday. >> So your mother came the dollars with a scissor. >> My mother came to know with a scissor. And when we came by the Reba, the Reb turned to label to get a scissors. >> To get his own scissors. >> Apparently the Reb had already told Label to prepare a scissors cuz the Reb was expecting him to have the scissors. He had a he pulled out. >> He had in his pocket the scissors. >> Yeah. an arm. >> She brought a she brought scissors. >> She brought a scissors and she was giving the scissors had his own. >> Deba had it already prepared. You can see it on the video. I'm pretty sure. >> Yeah. But what's the whole say with it happens sometimes that people I guess if some usually not labb used to always as far as I know for many years the would always um do the [Music] >> would do it but but >> not this will bring their children to have at some point the stopped it. >> Mhm. I even heard a story that um it could be probably the but that um um um I think it was the son that was going to have after the stopped it. So he wrote to theb that you know although the is not doing it anymore maybe um in he wrote and that he shouldn't be shouldn't be different than his brothers, you know, they shouldn't be like my brothers did it, I didn't. Added one wordim, he shouldn't be different than the rest of his brothers that just like all the other are not going to have it. So, he's also not going to have it. >> Okay. Like I I heard from one of Mayor Harle's children. I don't remember which one. Maybe it was Mandy told me that a few years ago I met him and he said I think maybe heard from maybe a different either way that the when it was his so his father to cut the hair and his father brought the grandfather like Mayor Harlick's father. >> Mhm. >> So they knew that then the was going to do it. Right. >> And did it >> did happen there's a p there's a picture by >> Yeah. So in the later years some people did it. >> I think if you figured it out and you did it >> if you just did it you did it. But we my mother actually I'm pretty sure my mother asked in advance. >> I don't know who she asked. >> But she definitely like she it wasn't like >> she didn't just arrive. It was definitely and we know that the you could we knew that the knew that we're going I remember I don't remember the but I remember that it was like it was it was you know it was um it was it was happening you know it was it was it was pre-arranged that we're going to go >> how is the to your sister because she wasn't there by the vill but um >> so my sister definitely um it was in a Um but whenever it was by dollars she would get special attention from the if she didn't come to dollars the asked about her. I remember one time um I think it's an I didn't remember the date until recent I think someone found the video so I think it's an Alf um I went for dollars after on Sunday and I went with and my mother wasn't going to go for dollars she was together with Shalom and my sister outside like by the driveway going to 770 so we went by dollars and The Reba gave me a dollar and then the Reba called me back and the Reba asked me where is your sister? I was so mful. I was I lost like I completely lost my composure and I started think you know and then I turned around and they decided that they're going to go get a dollar. So as I turned around because I was like just so then they were coming in from the door into the gat into the dollar's room into the magnet room from that from the hallway near the z. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So I said oh they're right here. But um I remember one time I don't know the I remember one time from time to time we wrote letters to the Reba. >> I was my my next question that I wanted to ask you was that I know that you wrote to the Reba and there's answers and things I wanted to ask you about. >> So so so I don't remember what it was and maybe I never knew it. Maybe it was just a private thing but the um my sister had written to the Reba. Now, usually um the way it would work, we would give in the the letter and then like when there was an answer from the Reb when Groner would come in with the Reb, he would give us the piece of paper with an answer written on it. Not not the he would rewrite what the Reb would would give the answer and whatever that was always. I mean, even if it would be an answer to my mother, an answer to my sister, whatever, he would give it to me and I would give it to my mother. I wouldn't read it myself. I don't even know if I would be able to read the handwriting at that time. Either way, the So, I remember one time we got home from Davening May at night and we got a phone call from Moscow grown or cold. I mean, you have to understand if if you got a phone call from Moscow, it was like earthshattering because it only means it's something from the heaven. It's not nothing else. And the Reb, my sister had written something to the Reb and there was an answer from the Reba for my sister and the Reb wanted that my sister should come to 770 to get the answer. So I remember I mean my mother didn't know what to do because what do you do? But she left us home and she ran to the car. She drove the 770. >> How old is sister >> then? >> Maybe 10. I don't know. Let's say 10, let's say. I mean, I can't know exactly because I don't remember the date, >> but it it's not not older than nine and not younger, not older than 11 and not younger than nine. So, whatever. And that's it. My sister went, she got her answer, she came back home. Um, it could be it's very likely that it wasn't so much that there was like a private answer that she had to get in her hand. I think it was for the yakas for the for the what's the word in English for it? You know what I mean? Know the it it like it does something to you. The called me to get the answer. You know what that means? That's like you know you hear the stories of like the Reb did certain things because people started having doubts. Does this really know me? Does that really know who I am? Does really know what's going on with my life? And the Reb would do these >> like the story with the say >> that doubted if the knows who he's signing all the letters to, >> right? All the same thing and punk that guy went by the rebba and the rebba asked you get did you get the letter yeah >> yeah I mean there's many stories like that exactly that's an example and and um like the subtle things the reb would do to what was the point I mean is to connect to you and to make sure that you feel that that you know there's a connection that you know that >> I think I think the same thing. I think that >> I saw I saw there's a dollar there's a video of dollars of my uh in-laws. There's a few interesting things but um they they my in-laws lost they lost a child and Teldon and afterwards by dollars label tells the Mrs. Helden on his own didn't say just like uh that's a a you know that that I I saw I heard this is also very I thought it was that um so there's there was a ber all the part is not but it's substant there was a ber uh who um with Mamish he he learned in Manchester in the late MEMS I think and he was push a big Mid and he spent sat a whole day and learned he would sit down in the sh downstairs and he would learn and learn and learn and learn I think even he got a rest sometimes by maybe he didn't learn it of whatever it is he but he was very very into the learning And he was by the fort and he went by dollars and the gave him a dollar like as the line is just like flowing. Nabi gave him a dollar said I don't think gave him a second dollar. It was like with a dollar gave him a dollar. No one said anything there. No one spoke gave him a dollar. I know. Basically, one of his friends noticed this and one, you know, they have like some of the they have a few videos of the dollars. It's just like not aim just like the dollars going like just everyone walking by dollars. Not uh >> Oh, it's like a >> not not okay. >> I don't know. 10 years ago, let's say it was >> Mhm. >> 15 years ago or something. and his thought like the Reb gave him a dollar and said and he like he knew the from and then >> like he rewinded it maybe like I'm imagining because I knew he was always learning and he met he met him afterwards and he said like this happens he said yeah for sure he like no one wrote to the about it no one spoke to the about it do we get a name over here or no name >> I don't know he's he's a no um I I think the name is Um I think push could be push he you could track him down. You can ask him. >> But the point is that this was what >> I think there's more than one. I have to figure out >> there is more than one but you could find it's not so hard to find out. >> But um it's a good story to put in the head, you know. >> Yeah. There's a lot of aspects of the story that you can focus on. >> But um >> was you're also you're a mashia of Bakim. So this is >> an important story in your in your work for Bakim. It's an important story for us and then it becomes important for the um how did I hear I heard um I wasn't there but I heard that there was a discussion by one of the how do you um give over the to your children and how do you make your ch what do you tell your children that they should be and you know such and that was the of the conversation. So one of the there said what do you tell yourself? What do you tell yourself? And that's the answer to what you tell your children. In other words, if it's a problem, then the problem is in yourself. There's no problem in yourself. You'll figure out what to tell your children. >> Yeah. But yeah, it's important for to have these stories and it's important to um remember the reason why we know these stories and the reason reason why we hear these stories and the reason why the um in other words says the the mosh from the bas it's very clear from the Reb that the that it's not only about um that the Reb it's always about the individual fully but it's never only about the individual it's always I think it's always about what the individual is going to do with it what the Reb wants it to be to affect another person and another person get giving a So it's that means the gives you a dollar which means that you givea that means someone else is already impacted >> the story about this I think we had it on the podcast already >> someone mentioned it think he asked the maybe was this maybe had said it he asked the why was like years into into him being involved he asked the like what did I do to such And the Reb said it's what you will do. >> There's a from and the Rabbi speaks over there in the about the idea of in his from the concept of MD. So the speaks a whole but one of the things the says in the there part of a >> right so if a person if a person is going to let's say um say I'm the the the leg of the behemoth so then it's only the leg or the value of the leg but if a person says he's going to be makdish let's say the heart of the behemoth the life of the animal depends on the heart so then it's not only the heart it's the entire animal >> animal So the same thing is when cashios thebah says the rabb speaks about on the side of the so when the writes to the rabb the says and you're asking for one specific inion whatever you're writing because you're asking let's say for something so why are you writing to the says even you think you're only writing about one specific thing but why are you writing to the what's the connection to write to the about it the reason you're writing to the is because the is So as soon as you're writing to the it's you're recognizing that you are completely connected to the Reba in every aspect otherwise why are you writing to the Reba I'm paraphrasing obviously then the Reb says the says when the answers you the is not just answering your particular little detail or I don't think says little maybe your particular specific that writing to the Reb about and the Reb is answering you. The Reb is looking at your mit and the Reb is answering and giving you for everything else that you could do and that you could accomplish and that you could reach and the Reb says what is that? So there's nothing that the does which is only for now and that means that that the all of these and all of these stories is is is a for us to learn and to understand what is hisash to um in other words first of all that there is a hisash I think that's the first there is a hiscash What does there is a connection the is connected to you and you are connected to the there's no connection then there's no hisash then then then what am I doing here the first thing we need to actually realize we don't have to feel it people like people like to speak a lot about feelings feelings are very iffy they come they go they feel this way they feel that way you all know about feelings Yeah, even to the people who are the closest to us, the our feelings fluctuate. It's not about feelings. Feelings don't determine. It's about fact. They don't define. Yeah, very good. It's a better word. It is. It is his connected to each and every one of us. The is it is to the every detail that happens in the life of every that's that is the does notice you the does realize what's happening with you and does recognize what's going on by you and cares about what's happening with you that is that that is and the reason is very simple because and the explains certain things in such in a way such simple basic um um words and and and and that it's the Reb is the Reb is the cup and the cup is the mocker for all of the so the is the cup and we are the is the head we are theim we're the feet that means that there's not only a connection there's a very deep connection and that connection starts before before you do anything, before you say anything, before you worked on anything. There's such thing that's not it's not an iss having a shy if we announce that we don't have a shyus. Now we have to strengthen our hisash. If we know that there is a if we know that there is a hisashos now we could work on theashos. We could develop the hisash. We could live with the hisash. We could make it that it permeates our whole life and that's our job as to be to the but it's not to create a connection because there is a connection. there is a connection and I think it's one of the reasons why the says in the in the in the famous letter of the says that that this is something that you have to really bang your mind into this idea that who is all of the hash for us. That's like the beginning. It's the beginning. It's the foundation. And it's something says every especially must know. It's not okay to think that the ish even though the is or all of those beautiful things the says in the beginning of this letter says it's it's true that theb is all of those things but that's not the and it's not okay to not be aware of the because if we're not aware of the then we don't know what his kashus is and then then it becomes very hard to navigate what it means to be a all of these stories are really just an expression just as in like it's meaningless but they are an expression of the his cash from the connection I'm going to say of the connection that the rebba has to us and of how the rebba holds on to us and how the pays attention to us is aware of what's happening by us. So that's really the point of all of these stories and all of these um anecdotes and tidbits that we hear. We have to like stop and think so what do I see here? What do I understand from here? What comes out from here? >> Mhm. In other words, just like it's that if we hear a story that the Reb was to in a certain way, you know, especially we hear in the first early years, every got a certain thing and a certain a certain expression that the said about the is we understand like we don't it's almost so posit that yeah every who goes out that what the said about the [Music] even if the said it to a particular when theb said everyone knows that it means the is with every single well theb only said it to one that statement that the said to the one is a that becomes the foundation of what we know of how the is with every single um are the do you find that Baham today have an easier or harder time with this with knowing this act. >> It's hard for me to know how Bahim felt. >> Um I definitely think that uh >> meaning I mean you're one of the people from the Yuds that had that had it live. Um, I definitely think that um that that it's more that it's much more difficult today. Um, and um I think that sometimes we gloss it over and we either we assume or we're afraid to think about it or we're not sure what to do about it. But I I definitely from my little corner of where I speak to and have a with I definitely feel that it's um it's it's a challenge and it's a difficult thing. Um I think that um for sure when it for sure when it comes to the you know to feeling it and experiencing it um it's it's very difficult and I think that they sometimes have not they I'm not like saying that there's a problem with them but I think it's natural like they have a certain um natural um feeling or assumption that we don't really have it and this person who stood in 770 he really has it you know I don't have it I'm sure that when he stood by the rabbi he felt like this and I don't feel like that and then they try to understand why don't they feel they're not sure what they're supposed to feel and that becomes a very first of all it's very subtle and it's very very difficult God I I walk I went into the oil and I didn't feel anything. How many times did say that? How many times I hear that from how many times did ask so how could be today when we don't see the when we don't see the rabbi coming into and I'm not talking about as having this question from a person from who who he's you know spending his days you know playing and running around I'm talking about who are already 16 17 18 19 20 they've been spending years and years learning and fabanging and davening and they could spend Shabas by the and maybe a few weeks during the year by the and they still struggle with it. It still bothers them. It's still, you know, it's it's there. It's there. Um, now the answer is that you you could become a today the same way you were able to be a then I definitely think that it's more difficult today. And I don't think that um we benefit from saying it. No, it's not harder. It's just the same. It is much more difficult. We are in golus golus. So they say no it's not of course the definition of golus is that it's a definition of hell and is that it's more difficult and there's nothing there's something wrong with not acknowledging that it's more difficult it is more difficult but the method is the same it's the same the same and it's the same that we need to to the Reba because a person who stood by the Reba had the to see the Reba and danced by the and the didn't become a automatically he then had to make a choice is he going to be aid in other words is he going to be not is he connected to the of is connected to the is he going to be become aid or is he going to you know be lazy and go to sleep and maybe a lot a lot of people made that choice. Um now easier it was easier for a few reasons. There was it's just like a very practical reason like you could almost feel like a without doing anything because I was there and I saw and I danced and I sang and there was a new liquor that came out. There was just like a certain and that that that creates a certain even if it's a little bit superficial. Superficial doesn't mean fake. It's a professional use but but um but you know and besides for that you know there's no Shil if I heard the say I heard the say and I just now saw I was by then and I was and and and and I saw the dancing and and I was out of this whole universe that could give me a very strong boost and that could definit definitely make it very clear um how to go about things but a is definitely easier than the now but the Indian is the same the Indian is the same the same things all those things that we see in the in all those things that the says in the especially in but really throughout that how do you strengthen your isash and and through living by the but to implement what the Reb says in your life in your life means sign practical the dos and the don'ts to learn and to learn and so on and so forth and it also means um maybe even in a deeper way it means means to your [Music] your attitude towards a you're for sure but your attitude towards another and towards and towards the whole of doing that your whole your whole life is changed through that's Theb didn't say it about in other words the when when when theb quotes from that wasn't only for afterim that was for in what we call when we were able to see the and when the came out to fabian and sat for hours with us which is another thing that we don't even so much appreciate enough to say how many hours theb came to spend with in the past that the none of the did this would come and sit for hours no with I mean you have some fabians that are six hours I mean this is mindboggling telling we're like almost used to it like oh the only fab for two hours and puff on like as if it's like two hours but but in other words it was like for four or five hours on the shabas afternoon in adoption we don't we don't even we like because the in in in the reb in that that that that didn't happen before and it was almost like the Reb was wanted to spend time with I'm saying and wanted to spend time with >> yeah I heard a recording from in later years maybe I don't know some he's talking I heard I heard a recording him And he says this that theb giving out dollars. He says the wants to wants to know wants to know the crowd. The wants to be with the crowds spending time with us. >> That's what he says. That was that was his explanation when it was happening of dollars and everything. But it's but it's it isn't a normal thing and even look you get the later years in every opportunity and and for sure the hours that stood on for the for the day after give out dollars or the day after to give out dollars to the children. The fact is sat with the children for rallies and for like parades. We were so born into it. Of course gives what do you think? You know, I almost thought that this is like, yeah, this is what does. But anyways, the point is when it says says in the letter that seeing the is not enough. Theba is not talking about pione is talking about the years that we were able to see the in other words my point is that his cash didn't change and the way to become a kusha didn't change it's more difficult we're in a hasta it is more difficult and we have to sometimes put in more effort and we have to be a little bit more stubborn and We need to you know we don't have the we don't have a lot of the mak which is a very powerful thing but how to become a kusha the same way we were always able to become >> so my question so I'm thinking about what you're saying so um I would say that one of what I do basically with my life which is which is essentially what we're doing is helping people with to give them tools to to to for this of this it's obviously not the only tool because and whatever but this is one of the tools what we're doing here right now is is part of that the ch the the challenge I sometimes I look at like the bird's eye view you know of claus anash just because I'm all I mean I think everyone should care about the claus an uh not that I'm trying to interact with with anash and uh hopefully have some type of influence so the basically what I find is that they're very You know there's also this has been said so many times and it's true that because it's harder it's a harder it's much more deeper it's much more real that's why you have that know more than people from and more connected to that I'm saying this is all fact um the hard part is that since it's an there are certain people that just don't do it but they're called and they the the but they're not doing it. They're not looking for it. They're not trying whatever they didn't have. They didn't have it. They didn't get that value from their home or whichever sh they went or whatever they and um so sometimes it's like okay so the same crowd is is always engaging and looking and trying to enhance and and become more more connected but then you have a whole bunch of people that aren't. from side you see that without us without us doing anything's influence in the world is stronger and more than ever was. So it's not a question it's a question in um to that that in my mind is just something that in that today is there there's there's um it's a problem. It's a problem. So I don't know if you deal with this because maybe the bakim that in your yeshiva are the ones that are baffa looking for it then I I don't know maybe maybe it's not your but ultimately I don't know if it's a question I I guess it's a it's either a question of what to do or or how or meaning there's a certain thing that was before which was automatically everyone's I don't let's say Mashiach I was talking about Mashiach and if you're a lab you're part of it you know even if you're not you know what I'm saying like like like everyone and today you know it's not always like that obviously at the core it's like that people people like uh the shamas are connected the and it's more than the shamas it's you know it's their life choices So how I'm just I don't know if you if you know how how is that addressed one of the integral components of being aim and whether it's orim these days give us an opportunity to connect with our to connect with each other and be better. What is the story behind each of these days? How did the Reb commemorate and celebrate these days? And most importantly, what are the lessons, the takeaways, and the action items needed for each of these days? All of this and much much more are answered in the new set recently published by Our Days is a journey through the Kabad calendar in story meaning and practice with over 700 beautiful glossy pages with elevated content, beautiful, beautiful photographs. You, your family and friends will enjoy and live with each. This book is a must for every labamature home, for every schul, for every school. It is a perfect gift item. This will not collect dust. It will be used day after day, month after month, year after year. You can have the set. Go to.org/ org/our days. Order your set today and start living with. >> I don't have the answers to your questions, but I would I would say two things. One thing I would say is I'm not saying one is first, one is second, but one thing I would say is what does it mean? It means that when you taste it, when you taste it in the right way, it is the most fulfilling, uplifting and elevating thing. How do you get a guy to learn that? That what does it mean that you successfully got a person to learn? You didn't successfully get a person to learn. Even though I tell that a lot of times you haven't got a person to learn until he learned and push felt that it's gishmak to learn it's pit enjoyable. I want to do it more. It's really really if a person tastes what it means to actually really be aid that your life should be according to the according to which is one thing obviously and the more you apply it and the more you make changes because of it and the more you connect the more you write to the more you know that when you're writing to the you're able to write to the about things that are happening in your life s personally which is extremely important in Sai in the way you interact with others whether you are on or even if you're not on and you're spending your extra time doing or the people you meet on your business, you do with them you it's feels good. It feels right. It feels it feels it feels it fills you up in a way that nothing else could. In other words, but this is that's that's that's one thing. Other words, a lot of times we haven't we haven't tasted it. Now, how do you taste it? that that's that's the question but but that's one thing that I think is very important. Another thing is to to really um I think it has two points but would often mention that you should go out to a yid and tell the you're and when he realizes and recognizes that he's a then that will cause him to make a change because his identity became clear to And when his identity is clear to him, so then he's it doesn't take overnight, but then he could slowly start setting up his lifestyle and his life choices and his life according to past. If we could find a way to in a constant, not once a year, you know, before And there's a big you know it has to be in a more constant to bring out for especially for that you have a reba not that you know I'm part of the lab has a big and there's a big and there's and and noavich is lavab but the all of you have and you are connected to the Reba and what you do matters to the Reba and makes a difference. There's a famous letter the Reba writes about the the the the wants to go to college and the Reb writes them one letter before that you know if you go to college you're slapping the Reb with you to college. Now even before we go vita just a powerful concept here you're so connected to the that if you make a choice to go to college you're sleing the reb with you to college that m you better not go because you're slapping the to college the is so attached to you that if you go to college you're slapping the reba with you to college that's the tone It's very different. Then the Reb continues in the next letter. The Reb says, "You didn't answer me, but if you're going to say a very scary thing, okay, I don't want to have it with me to college, so I'll let go. I'll let go. I'll let go so I could go to college." Says, "If his cash would be from you to the so then you can say that." But the is holding on to I think is it could be I'm wrong but for sure very strong the is holding on to you very tight. So you could leave go from today till tomorrow. You're you are someone who theb holds on to. You are someone that the Reb is looking out for and the Reb is holding on to. So you can't run away from being the you could run away from living as the skinn which means the is always looking out and waiting and and it works the opposite way around also. If you make a foolish choice, then you're slapping the with you in that choice. And that that's that's an that's a fact. That's not if I'm very very and I my eyes this way. I have nothing against your eyes. I'm not I'm not litting it. And if I learn and if I'm by every and if I say a lot of so then I from the and then whatever I do matters to the and then I have to behave like a normal human being and I have to be aid. Every single member of Anash, by extension, I think we could say it about every single Yid, but every single member of Anash needs to know this as a you're a person that the Reb is holding on to you. You're a person that the Reb is thinking about. You have a connection to the Reb in a personal way. You may not do anything about it. You may not invest anything for it. You may almost never think about it. But the Reb is thinking about you. Your is the is what it means that the so that means we have to tight it up. you, me, him are a from the that means that's the end of it. There's no how much I did, how much I didn't do. Now, it doesn't mean it's not a discount and therefore I don't have to do anything. It's actually just the opposite in the way that looks at it. Not only I need to do something about it, I want to do something about it. I think so many of us end up feeling like, "Yeah, I'm and I'm very proud of and for sure I'm going to say I'm Kabad and I I'm I'm going to stand with the of Kabad and I don't like when when when people speak against Kabad and I'm so proud every time there's something about Kabad, but it's not me. It's Kabad." So then whatever then I could really say I want to enjoy life. I'm not saying because it's not enjoyable but it's because you also have an if you're only a goof so then it's enjoyment but you also not only also is you know I want to just enjoy life. If I want to have a good time and I'm anyways not this big mush may as well just have a good time and I'll support I'll I'll I'll support I'll support the yeshiva I'll support the program of people becoming connected to the but it's before you start it it's already personal and if you'll allow me I will add one more and this one more nikuda is I think that Things became so distorted. I'm going try not to go on to anarant. Things became so distorted by the time we got to top. There's there's from the I don't I think it's like maybe I don't remember the says about the people who mix in to their things to their ideas and therefore it has a kernel of truth and therefore it sells doesn't say the lion it sells but that's the concept you know you can attract people to it because you put in some real this so there's some mis there that all the is that we find in the really it source is in and that's why it holds water so things became very distorted and because things became very distorted I think people are not truly aware of what is the and what is the of And I think sometimes very sincereim I've seen it so many times who are really like they're mikush and they're devoted and they want to do what's right. They just don't know. They think oh yeah this is the way we do it in kabad. This is like this is the kabad way. I mean if I would have another two hours I would give you 20 examples. But my point >> I just saw an example the other day >> that what I debating if we should get into the nitty-gritty. I I'll give an example. >> Okay, give an example and we'll see how far we go. every someone everyone's sending around I don't want like but anyway someone's sending around everyone's sending around pictures of uh basically a labure person female holding a gun part of the IDF and uh very nice Israel you know and we know that how beautiful it is >> yeah we we actually wrote a whole article is with and then and the gashm protecting millions of yidden. I mean this is amazing. It happens to be that TRA and the Reb believes that having women in the army is actually since it's not allowed according to it's putting at risk millions of Jews because it's not being done according to and I see very good people just like sending around I mean happy I mean like do you know that this is a problem and the spoke about this and and advocated that it shouldn't happen and and said Deba said that that that that from the >> it's putting people in danger because it's not because it's not the army is not being done according to the that's a good example. She's like >> that's a beautiful example and it doesn't come from it could come from a place support and this is so beautiful and this is so amazing and yeah the fact that it's paraded is actually a good point. These things become paraded. ran a podcast it becomes podcasted and it becomes yeah this is the way it is and I heard it from someone who was on the baba I mean I'm not saying I heard I'm saying like people say what do you mean this is >> I mean there's there's unfortunately many many examples about this and and it so what happens is that becomes a third very big very I think very um significant leg in this problem. In other words, if we're not standing on strong of basic of basicis of basic of the then we can't be strong in we can't we can't have the proper guidance and we can't have the proper the the the the wall the gate that keeps us in the right way and keeps us um very firm and very courageous and unapologetic. But we don't know. We don't know. We don't know. You know, I've been asked um I've been asked to to smartphones, unfiltered smartphones. I've been asked by by by by labers labeer girls you know should what was the nus of the question should we be was something along the lines like this the nus was should we be uncomfortable that the girls who go to bakov the nat lab girls um you know have a higher standard regarding have a different standard regarding the cell phones or no we should be very proud this is who we are and this is the way we do it. So I said, "One second, hold on a minute. What is the labavich? What is the labavich hashkaf about having access to the internet?" >> Open access. >> Yeah. Open. Open access to the internet. Oh, there's even a question here. Okay, now it's a little bit different in that area. Same question came up with. Same question came up with. So I answered when it comes to a obviously but obviously we're talking about a proper when it comes to a should be very proud that we wear the said and not and we have to be proud and strict about never being in public with only but when it comes to say that we maybe have to learn from them sometimes. My point isn't that we have to learn from them or from here. My point is we don't know. Sometimes we just don't know. I such a strong from the I don't think it's the only time the but for me it was like it literally changed such a big shift in my mind. The Reb says in I think it's parasion it's in that um and the speaks about it's like a middle of a whole bunch of things like are like you got to learn it to know it. Um the says that it says byum it says it both means donkey. So this is what the difference such a it just it it shifts it sounds subtle but it makes such a massive difference in our approach to these says when you say the word it rather reminds us of the >> you have to work with it. You have to work with it. You have to transform it. You have to use it for a hashem. It's not about destroying it. It's not about breaking it. Everyone knows that. And that's like a fundamental part of and it is. It is. But then the says by bum it says why? Because Bum's donkey was used by Bum for a for points out. So what does that teach us? Says what happened to Bum's donkey? Bam's donkey was killed. So the says when do we say if it wasn't yet a for you? If you did not yet stumble, if this whatever it may be was never a stumbling block for you in your so then the attitude is but if this is that you already stumbled upon it already caused you to do something wrong it already caused you to go away from that's so then we don't say Then we say you have to kill it. You have to destroy it. That's a very big difference that changes literally changes our whole understanding I think of of yet nothing is and everything is we just have to use it forem no not everything not everything everything is potentially even though even certain things needs to be it's its way of is to destroy it but but and and even parab things which which does have the potential of being used for forem if you stumbled on it then you you need to destroy it you don't need to use it forem says I don't know if there's many other times the says this but it's it it's after I saw it was like it's so like makes so much sense like it's not aim but we have such Uh so that's what I'm saying. when things become so you know you use a kernel of what the Reb says and you apply it to a bunch of things and then we make and then we p don't know and is the what is the education and what's the outlook and approach because you know we we either because things are taken out of context either because things are twisted a little bit. Some of these subtle things you twist it a little bit and you are way offline. So I think if we would put these three things together, I don't know what's the right order. If we put these two these if you sit and let's not start with a full hour. If you sit and you find a simple for a half hour, just watch the get it with subtitles, close the lights, set up a half hour without your phone and watch the saying any about anything. You're not ready for a full 5 6 hour. That's fine. But you'll see that it's it does something to you. Listen to the Reb speaking. Go to sleep. put on listen to it's a different do start doing little things have a sed of learning not learning as in rattling off have a sed in learning and absorbing from theb orment from theb or from theb choose whatever it is that works for You either do it with a do it with a but do it like in a real way in an intense way. Even if it's for a short amount of time, learn it, absorb it, think about it. Take it through your day. Make it make it make it a point like have it. You could have it on your calendar, a reminder three times a day or once a day or three times a week where you're like a reminder at 3:00 in the afternoon to go back and think over what I learned this morning or I learned yesterday morning from the is and what what does it mean to me and and and what could it do for me and how does it apply to me and how does it apply to the way I make decisions or to the way I run my life or to how I I speak to my children or how I interact with them or how I do my or how I talk to my so that's then remembering that we belong to the Reba we're connected to the Reb in a personal way you are connected to the Reb but the whole of Babage doesn't exist the Reb looks at And the third thing is to push it. Let's get back to really the basics of what the Reb of what the Reba says of what the Reba holds of what the Reba teaches of what the Reba What type of lifestyle in in in in simple words that that we use today. What type of lifestyle does the Reba advocate? Not what does it feel good today and what's popular tomorrow and what changes after tomorrow. It's set. It's clear. It's focused. It's guided and the Reb is holding your hand. Reb's holding your hand. I remember there was one of the when I was learning in Marstone Rabbi Rabbi Bransonsky who's now in Colorado I think was then the Mashg. So he was fab one of his fabings. He fabanged up a few times, not many times when he fabish very. [Music] So I remember he was fabing and like it hit me. He said, you know, you could try your own path. No, he had a he has a he has like a he has an interesting way of bringing something out like you could try your own path. Go ahead, try your own path. Go your own way. You know, maybe you'll be But he said if you go and is you have a guarantee the is the way there's no doubts there's no questions and you will be m you will be m and that in itself will help you I'm hesitant to use the word but will help you feel connected will help you feel part of it. Not feel part of feel that you're connected to the because the affects your life. I'm not even talking about this in affects your life. The teaches you is guiding you. Reb is helping you navigate your day-to-day life. And it's so available for us right there. Could you imagine the Reb could help you navigate your day-to-day life? It's right there. It's right there. It's how do we have it in the [Music] I think that would even in my life if I would be more focused on that more often it push it would I think it would make a a very big now at the end of the day everyone ask and yeah someone could just say you know what I I >> and never >> and every everyone has besides from me. But but the point is as a side note and everyone has and that means everyone stumbles but there is stumbling and there is making it a that this is okay very very different very very different >> we're saying that I want to be honest because I gave it to them so many times you know I'm going to be honest and given given to him all of the time. >> Exactly. The rabbi says that that a person says that what's the a person could think that I'm being a hypocrite. Theb says I'm being a hypocrite. So therefore the I don't think the expresses it this way but it's the opposite. You're being a hypocrite the other times. Who are you for real? That's the story of the >> what >> the Ah yeah yeah yeah >> he came to and he says that says why are you wearing your your business clothes say I stopped wearing it when I came to labavage I stopped putting on the clothes when I came to because I decided you know who am I fooling I'm fooling the said I thought you were fooling the world when you put on the business clothes >> exactly 100% % but this really goes back also to this of just one more of the of the parading and advertising the the the um the the the pictures and the I did this and I did that. In other words, it becomes that's how slowly you know the first time someone sees it and the 10th time someone sees it they're like oh and the hundth time is like yeah this is what we do. How did the rebba say? Theb says in theb says that the politic if you say a very big lie theb refers to theb says from fromb refers to from from Germany that >> yeah that that was one of the that was a Nazi slogan. >> Exactly. You say a big lie very very often it'll be accepted. It'll be accepted. Now I I think most people are not malicious. I I think most people don't do it. I really believe that most people do it because they really believe in it and and that's part of I guess that's makes it I don't know if it makes it more sad or less sad but I don't think people are being malicious but the pameish you know that and that really could lead us to another thing if if that is we have to be careful what are we what are we allowing into ourselves? What are we absorbing? I mean, this is really a whole conversation for itself. But, you know, how many hours a day? Okay, there's the hours of the day that we have to we have to I'm not talking about how many hours a day are we absorbing and can move on any part of and how many hours a day are we absorbing from to what's called Yiddisha magazines to downright goes books and and and and and and newspapers and and what's weighing it you know so like where do we expect to end up this is like just basic even like yeah I want to be big but you know I have some typus okay but what what's what do you think is going to be ga >> if you're spending this amount of time what >> it's mathematical equation. >> Yeah, it's a basic math. Exactly. It's basic math. Even an can figure out this math. I don't know if today you're allowed to say that. Right. Was proud to be who doesn't know how to read and doesn't understand math. Whatever. Today you have like >> that's why created calculators >> for >> Yeah. >> But my point is that we have to be aware. It's not like an extreme. or you're listen extreme nothing extreme about it. If you want to be a certain type of person and you want to live a certain type of lifestyle, you can't shoot yourself in the foot and fight against what you want to what you want your goal to be. If you want to amass millions of dollars in your bank account, you can't have a hole in the bottom of your of of your of of your what's it called? >> Of your safe where the money is falling out in the bottom of your wallet because then it's not going to hold the money. >> You can't you can't do it. You can't you can't have that. You can't have that. It just doesn't work. And how do I know it doesn't work? We all know it doesn't work because come out and see. You just have to open up your eyes. You just have to open up your eyes. And especially that today it's mameishad. There are so many okay the highest caliber of vocabulary or not but there's so many. First of all, you have so that's you know and and it's entertaining. It it has good other words you don't have to sit and learn. You could read it. >> Plus you have so >> general the things that we things that we do that's what we're trying to do >> when you're not learning you exactly or you have the new I didn't get it yet but I saw a few things few pictures of it the new about the days. These are things that we could read. >> Mhm. >> Plus, you have so much even if you can't read it in the in the original in the lang there's so much from in English from Rabbi. There's so much to read in English. It's a lot a lot of that you could push it absorb and read and learn and and and take into you and that fills up your mitsas. If you're going to fill up your mitsus with listening to this person and listening to that person, it's not a question. Is it allowed? Sometimes is this allowed? Is this is this like is this is it is it is it notes? You have to look at best a very big amount of it just makes us it ruins our moose. It like says about it ruins the mahus of the person. It just makes you makes you and at worst it brings a lot of gokite and that for sure doesn't help to being a in other words a person can't sit and invest his and his in in in in just plain kite and then wonder why don't I feel his you know, ask yourself, what are you even saying? Are you serious? There's something missing in in the basic understanding of it. >> And this also ties into what you're saying before about uh phones maybe don't have access to the whole >> Exactly. that that that will help you nodding. >> I think that's what the the first person I think the first one to make a ton and to make a hab and a was not sat the made two very big takis in the early years of the nas. One was not to have a television not because every single thing on the television is bad. The same which tells us that we should use the television to spread theite says you you're not allowed to have a television and it was a big fight and it was a big every American from home had a television. You hear it. I mean today you hear sometimes a rash will will will slip out of his mouth a television program he watched in the 1950s and 60s or 70s in the rabbi was one of the muham and the second thing that was a very big muham by theb was it's not like oh it's not the way to make uh to to to to ask something to to say that this is not allowed. No, it it's actually very to do that. But there's a subtlety to get because it's MS then there's a subtlety. It doesn't mean that we will not use the radio to spread Tanya. Although my eighth grade graduation Rosenfeld and gave a whole speech about this. He says, "Well, we were at a certain point going to kick out every kid from school that had a television told us not to." His point was, "Fine, we're not going to kick you out, but this is not this is not fine. So maybe >> I'm not talking about kicking anyone out. I'm not talking about this. >> Fine. You This This was uh very important words that you said. I just want to backtrack. Okay. We'll uh close this tab and go and >> go back to the old tab. >> Yeah, we'll go back. Um could you tell me a little bit about things that you wrote to the Reba in those years? So I know you had a few very a few interesting answers from the but minus. So the truth is most of what we wrote to the Reb was um most of what we wrote to the was like in a like um a report card from school. um test grades. Um we always wrote before Nissan to the you know writing to the that we took a certain Nissan obviously it was all thanks to my mother that we did it but she told us to do it she taught us to do it and um you know writing to the um I think I I think even writing to the for the not I think I'm actually quite certain we wrote to the letter no for the is have I don't know if the words were or whatever it was but like a forb's birthday >> the whole debate because the would think those that sent him >> there was like a debate by when I was a bak at least like so does a write a tob like I don't know >> okay it's it's it's a good it's a good question but I was a kid so I don't have to way I don't have to weigh in on it um and the truth is almost every not almost I think every single thing we wrote to the we got a response from the I remember we definitely I definitely never wrote anything to the before my father passed away it definitely became more natural to write to the after everything the was doing for us and that's just a fact um the would almost always give an answer mish um even if it was a short answer. Um, I once wrote to um I wrote I wrote a letter to the together with my sister. We wrote we sent it in together. It was like a joint letter. Um the and it was just a a question. When is Mashiach going to come? I think like we're talking to my mother about it and my mother said she might just write the ask or something like that. So we that's what we did. So it was around it was it was actually around the time of an alf and um the answered I I'll read the I'll read the that's my sister You going to translate? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let me just read the whole thing then I'll translate. I should read line by line and translate. >> Whatever you want. >> I just want to get the whole, you know, you get leavonov. is underlined. We didn't get any was like rewritten by label growner. Now we got it managed within a few days. We got it around. I mean was quite busy and we gave it in maybe a day or two before and that means within a few days this was like some emergency question to answer this but for the Reb it was so in English the answer is so again the question is when is Mashiach going to come so the Reb's response is Hashem concealed the time of the coming of Mashiach that's what the catch When Yanke and then the Reb explains when Yanke wanted to reveal to his children when Mashiach will come, Hashem concealed it from him. as is said over in the Reb underlined the underlined as is said over or as is told in ask I will mention you by the scene by the so that's uh I should have this answer so I'm going to you know Do you remember what you felt then or what? >> I felt like a million dollars and that was it. I didn't feel anything different. Other words, it was no I mean now I could sit and uh you know learn in the the answer and call me ways but at the time even though I felt this I mean anytime we wrote to the responded so why should the respond to this? I would have liked that the Reb should tell me exactly when Mushia was coming, but I don't think that I thought that the Reb is actually going to tell me that. It's not what I I remember thinking that way. >> I was I don't think I was disappointed when I got this answer. So speaking about when Msiah is coming um the whole experience which obviously for every till today is uh is uh you know we're not over it like you said it's a but did you feel did you feel Gash me is like different than I don't know your friends or other people. >> How could I know what my friends felt like? >> So don't talk about your friends. Talk about yourself. >> Is it going to help anyone to talk about it? What I felt at the time? >> What you feel now? >> What I felt now, what I feel now is going to help anyone. In a very gash music sense, it was much much more difficult for me than than after my father passed away because the pale very shortly after my father passed, you know, by the time you know what hit you, the habit was already literally there to hold us. to catch us. And um it was very after I you know after it was very it was a very big roller coaster and um I was really I mean It affected a lot of things. It affected my learning. I mean, as a kid, even I'm saying it affected my grades. It affected my behavior. Was like a little wacky for a long time. Maybe it still is. Some people will say um you know after after Giml Tamos and you know we started going to the a very regular basis and from the beginning and when the says the lotion I didn't see the lotion till many probably many years But there's the lotion that the says that when you go to the you have to be aware of the fact as it was just the attitude or what's the approach and what's the thought process and I guess also what's the of of going into the is the afternoon you're going to the you're going to the going to the means you're going to So I didn't know that uh that sentence from but I was a young kid. I was not even yet. It was almost but that I knew and I felt from the beginning. And the truth is that's how I go through my days and my weeks and my months and my years. is either when I go to the haba or if I write to the that's my lifeline that's how I you know for me I would if I would be if I would if I would have the ability I would uh I would every week or two or three I would fly to the I would spend 10 minutes by the oil and I would go back home I everything would top of that is is just is um is icing on the cake. I don't want to say icing because but saying everything more than that is is is beautiful but just to be there to go into the oil or to stand right outside the oil then I could continue moving on with my life. Um so that gives me that's what gives me my stability. Um, I don't know what other people do or don't feel, so I can't answer that part, but I don't know if it, you know, if we I I think that we have to, you know, if Ab would appreciate what he has when he goes to the I don't I'm I'm my default line is but the same thing would apply to a younger man and the same thing would apply to and really not only but I for the most part I deal with so that's my natural but if we would go if we would appreciate what we have when we go to the and we would allow ourselves to appreciate it then we wouldn't have this disappointment. I think a lot of times we go to the and we have a certain expectation that we're going to feel this and we're going to feel that we're going to become sadikim. We're gonna and then we go in and for the most part very often it doesn't necessarily happen. Now you hear stories from people from the that you brought from house from they come to the and they're and we come in and we come out and sometimes it's okay. So that could be a different uh conversation of why it's like that. But if we would just have this what the says in the so you just if you would just think for two minutes I just had the opportunity to go into the Reb. I just had an opportunity to give the Reb a letter or a pan. I don't know what you would feel but it would be meaningful. You would appreciate it. It would be special. But we can't allow ourselves to appreciate that because we have this idea in our mind that we're supposed to and we didn't. So then something must be wrong and and something's wrong with us and and and and if we allow ourselves to appreciate what is then maybe we could experience it in a different way and maybe we could experience it in a more real way. doesn't only say it as a fact. The says that we need to know before you walk into the you need to stop. Even if you go a thousand times, maybe asked if you go a thousand times, you need to stop and you think then you walk in. You don't have to cry. You don't have to get emotional. You don't have to get yourself all worked up. Just simple. If you would know that you have the ability right now to walk by the Heb's room and the Heb is going to be in the room, but the door is going to be closed. How would you feel standing right outside the door? Even if you're not able to see the which I'm not saying is oh not a big deal at all you would feel it's a whole different Indian the says that that's what it means when you go into the allow yourself to appreciate that allow yourself to recognize that. Okay. So, I understand that uh you you are going to the for the Shabas and so am I. So, [Music] >> amen. before Shabas. Should I show you the battle that I spoke about before in the story? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I'll show you the battle and then I'll show you two things that are very special. >> So, one is the battle from the Mash. This is the battle that I got from the by that time. I got two bottles, but this is the first bottle. This is the bottle from Elshin for the for the Fabian that we made for my the father. And I'll show you another thing and that is I've I took over the years like two or three napkins that the Reba used from the and this is one of those napkins. I actually cut it into four pieces and I gave you know for my four siblings my three siblings. So we each have one one piece of it even though I sto I was took it off the table and it's written down used this napkin. You can actually see where the rabbi used it. So that's uh that's the Gilway for tonight. If you come to Sher Al if in Detroit, you get to see all the stuff that I have. There's more. >> Yeah, of course there's more. There's always more. >> So, how come when I was with you in the you were in the z you didn't show it to us? I didn't have we didn't get now. That's all now we I show every year to my we make and I bring that all now I have have from the and from the whatever different things the is the is that we should live as of the should literally impact the way we live in the most simple basic way in the thousands of choices we make every day and take it from for [Music] I mean [Music]