Amazing Questions About God From Hollywood (26)

[Music] thank you for coming it's been a interesting last few days uh today we'll do um for special for yov may give him some Miracles that we're learning today give him a miracle revive him so he could live a long life full of give [Music] toid um um and all of will have um last week we had a uh one of the uh Things We Said in the sh on Tuesday as we identified that the says that when a person goes to he sanctifies aem's name but when a person misses a t he misses a t because he's tired because uh he wants to hang out with his friends because of some other nonsensical excuse watching sports or or anything that's really not uh not real let's say that um the says that is disgracing Shem sh and they use a PUK use a PUK from the par that this is a person who he disgraced the Tor and it tells him a person can bring a lot of damage to their life by simply missing a andom is not something that the speaker wants this is not something that Hashem wants this is not something that anybody wants but in the world that we live in today people simply don't understand that is M the difference between life and death if it's a quality shoe which is rare to begin with but if you have a good sh that's giving you and you miss it it could be the difference between life and death in this world and the reason why is because right now the vast majority of people that are speaking to the public are also dangerous to them too they also dangerous like for example this some people still call him a rabbi but he speaks to the public every day he speaks to the public every single day on his channel on his YouTube on his Facebook on he sells a ton of books he speaks to the public every day and every day unfortunately somebody Falls for his trap and listens to his nonsense so today somebody sent me a clip of him speaking to the public where no other place other than the gate par ra a Orthodox Rabbi is speaking to the public and trying to give them he saying yeah woe to freedom and to all types of whatever St that he says I couldn't really listen to just my ears lose their ability to listen after a while and he's speaking to people from a gay parade now if this is not I don't know what is I have to relearn the entire Tor whatever I did learn a little bit that I learned and unfortunately you see that every day some clown like this appears comes out of his Bush every day comes out of his cave and infest the nation with their one guy today with from the gate parade last week another speaker was was shown hugging the women in the lecture Orthodox sh after the lecture he's giving you know hugging the women taking pictures with them putting it online so I'm not going to tell you why because it's not necessary I had at least at least 150 reasons to cancel the lecture today if it was up to me I'd cancel it but the problem is is what I was learn I learned is that it's not up to me T is not up to you T is not something that you're supposed to give yourself a choice oh maybe today I'm going to learn maybe not oh maybe today I'm going to teach maybe not t is not one of those things food is one of those things food is one of those things you can say ah maybe today I'm gonna eat maybe not what do you mean they you're gonna be hungry okay say hungry big deal big deal you're hungry you ever see somebody die after not eating one day no we fast every year few times few times we fast every year nobody dies after one day fast nobody dies after two days fast we don't have two day fast but the point is is that food is something you should give up on before you give up on a food if it was up to you breathing should be something you give up on for a day and not but what do we know we think sh T is something nice to do gives me some for the week gives me some power for the week so I know a few I could share with my friends I can share with my kids I can say I was there when a person thinks that a t is optional the says his n could be cut off why not because hasem wants to punish him but because he has missed the point of life he lived 30 40 50 60 70 80 years and he missed the point imagine somebody's on a soccer match people like soccer they're watching these uh these uh people running around with the ball day now with the what is this what Wimbleton what's it called World Cup okay so they're running around with the ball each guy makes a zillion dollars and everybody's excited so imagine who's the best player Messi Messi okay new Messi imagine Messi decides to make a mess instead of Messi what does he do messy he decides that instead of going and shooting it into the goal he's going to just play in the corner by himself with the ball then he pass the ball to him he going to pass the ball and he's going to play by the corner so people are going to try to take the ball he's going to pass them and the tried and he TR to go back to the corner though and try to get the ball again no no he passes him again but he goes back to the corner 90 minutes that's how long the game is Right 90 90 minutes he's just with the ball in the corner no one can take the ball from him at the end of the game he goes oh I win I win what you win what you win he goes I win nobody took the ball for me you idiot that's not the point of the game the point of the game is to put the ball in the net it's not for me to keep the ball no but I was good good for you though you were good we lost the game without because of you we waited however many years for this world cup for you to score we pay you a zillion dollars a year for you to score you little short guy what' you do you play with the ball in the court you missed the whole point the whole point you missed when a person thinks that going to that's a real when he thinks that's optional ah maybe I'll go ah maybe I won't go I'm kind of tired I'm kind of busy I'm kind of this and I'm kind of that he has missed the point he has not gotten the point of the sh that that sh could potentially be saving his life and most likely it is something has to happen during that sh something has to be said during that sh that could save his life but unfort I see sometimes people tell me that they go to they go to a certain Rabbi for five years and this Rabbi for nine years and this Rabbi for two years and this Rabbi for a zillion years this Rabbi since mosu they go to these rabbis and I see I look at you look two seconds you look at a person say this guy's this guy is secular what do you mean how are you going to for 10 years and you're still like this I'm not talking about because he's wearing a t-shirt I'm not talking because he's wearing a t-shirt I'm talking about because he hasn't even realize he does not that he's obligated to wear he still think he has an excuse oh no but if it's not Four Corners if it's not Four Corners you don't have to to says it to says if you have four corners you have to wear it if there's no Four Corners you don't have to wear it and he thinks he can use that in sh he thinks he can use this excuse in sh because technically it does say that and he actually thinks he is one of those people that can use this excuse that means he hasn't learned a single thing why because the page 25A says what when is it a sin when is it a sin not to wear tiit says no if you have four corners you have to wear tiit oh so so it's okay I wear goes no you have to wear why you have to wear because because when when is a decree from shamim whether it be go Magog or be a bad president or it be some IRS laws or whatever it is the first people the that the goes to is the people don't wear it doesn't even say the first people it doesn't even say the first people it goes after this people doesn't say that it says the first people people don't wear TI Why is it notab why of course he's doomed we don't have to go after him first the guy that's not wearing is the guy that's looking for a he's looking for some Comina to get in oh no I'm going to get into ganed you know with the uh with because I went to sh once a week people are playing with fire and simply don't understand that it's fire but that's because unfortunately part of the reason part of the reason is the fact that we don't know what's kosher what's not Kosher what's important what's not important and many times we spend our days many times we spend our days deciding our own life or death based on something that shouldn't even be a choice shouldn't even be a choice if I told you listen breathe or don't breathe you can spend even a half a second thinking about it no learning tah is more important than breathing now is says in all is the average person was given enough in his head enough conscience in his head enough abilities in his brain enough wires in his brain to reach the moon but decision making process and the ability to think and contemplate that he has can make any average human being Jew or Gentile or doesn't make a difference every single person can recognize that there has to be a Creator that's a judge rendering each man according to his actions meaning if a person does bad he gets punished if a person does good he gets reward even though some people called this something different they have different names for it they called karma they called all types of other names bottom line is everyone knows that there is something controlling the world that if you do good you can get good you should get good if you do bad you get bad without tah without just the fact that you're human being the awareness of the awesome Divine judgment and the subsequent reward and punishment is the beginning step in our service of hem may he be blessed page 24a says kak came and unified the entire Torah into one principle the king kakuk in essence UniFi the entire to made the whole to into one sentence what's the in one sentence will live by his faith now this is a very famous sentence that the the secular people like but instead of saying they say is that's why I almost got confused used to be say is is means a person in his belief will live now the average person thinks that each person has could live with his own belief you have your belief I have my belief you believe you have to wake up at certain time in the morning and go pray I believe that I don't have to wake up a certain time and pray I could pray whenever I want you believe that you have to learn toah all day I believe that you can learn to maybe once a week you believe that uh all types of things everybody's own beliefs like the he says listen even though I have different beliefs than these homosexuals this doesn't call them homosexuals it calls them LGBT or something like that because it's politically correct they call them homosexuals because that's really what they are that's not correct anymore you have to call them a acronym LGBT because he may be a lesbian may be a gay he may be by he may be uh tamic bomb I don't know whatever the T stands for he may be he may be who knows what he is he's LGBT he's LGBT he's not homosexual cuz that you know telling people what they are so the thing isai is that he says I have different beliefs than them religious beliefs but it doesn't mean that I can't be here oh so you have different relig you you have different beliefs but you can't be oh so this is this is a perfect example of a person will live with his own beliefs why because the is the person his beliefs are based on him he's a person what is he he's a person he's a flesh and blood he came from a uh a putrid drop he's GNA end up being eaten by maggots what is a person big or small doesn't make a difference but that's not what the PUK says the PUK says aad a righteous man lives by his faith meaning that if the sadik has faith that hasem will judge all of his deeds then he will fulfill the Torah and thus Merit a life in the world to come these are completely two different worlds of definition one is saying you have your belief I have my belief that's the average person translating this uh interpreting this verse the Torah says it's completely not even that it's not even close to that what is it means that sadik he's gonna live he's gonna live to Eternity because his faith in hasem is going to cause him to fulfill aem's will meaning he's not going to ever put him yourself in a circumstance where learning or not learning is an option it's never an option learning is the only option just like breathing is the only option learning to is the only other is the only option there is no option other than learning there is no option there's nothing else how often every day how much as much as humanly possible what if I don't have time that's not an option to not have time there are other things in your day that you don't need call it what you want eating sleeping all the other stuff you do during the day whatever it is that you do social media everything everything else in your life is disposable everything learning to is not why because that's your life now unfortunately it's very difficult to come to this understanding completely it's very difficult why because we have a lot of freedom from Hashem an enormous amount of freedom from Hashem to do what we want leading us to believe that we have the ability to make the right choice more times than not and whatever we're going to do it's going to be okay like Hashem is going to cover cover for us like if we don't learn he's going to have somebody else learn for us if we don't do somebody else will do for us if we don't give somebody else will give for us how come we don't say if we don't get married somebody will get married for us and if we don't eat somebody else will eat for us and if we don't make money somebody else will make money how come we don't use it for that it's because a yet is the one that's giving us this excuse a is the one that's telling us no no learning somebody else going to do it go to sh somebody else will come donate somebody else will donate doing somebody else will do all the things you're supposed to do and put yourself in a situation where there's no choice you have to do it says no no you have a choice relax don't listen to this Rabbi he's it's crazy it's crazy relax get your time take your time one day at a time you learn today enough enough what you learn 10 minutes bro it's more than me I learn only five minutes today you're better than me meaning we're competing with other you're a loser so therefore I should be a bigger loser but when it comes to money it comes to business it comes to all the other stuff that yet wants us to do one woman's not enough we need two women one marri is not enough we need to get married five times one job is not enough we need to work 18 jobs 29 hours a day all the things that yet wants us to be consumed with we do extra so the says unfortunately this General awareness of faith that Hashem will judge all of our Deeds even though we all have the ability to know it every human being you me you everyone here the go the Jews everyone Hitler has the ability had the ability he had the ability to know that one day he's going to have to pay for judgment for it he thought he's doing a Mitzvah so he thought he he's going to get judgment good judgment that's how demented his mind was but it's the same demented mind of every rash no rash thinks he's a rash by the way the guy that's that's a rabbi from uh from Canada that signed up to Dancing with the Stars with his with his wife he thinks he's doing K he's GNA dance in public with the woman with the raban and dancing with the stars and he thinks he's sanctifying hashem's name he's showing that the Jews can be like everybody else but every day we say to so which one is it that we're not like them or that we want to be like them which one is it you're lying to hem every day a rabbi he's 150 pounds overweight him and his wife they sign up to Dancing with the Stars they're going to dance on National Television this is the generation that we're in this is what we're in now he knows the difference between right and wrong but he has somehow been perverted his mind perverted his mind to think that what he's doing is right so all is says the general awareness of faith that Hashem will judge all of our Deeds remains hidden from us even though we all know it it's hidden from US Concealed in the depths of our heart where devoid of a of conscious awareness of the fear of judgment unless we devote ourselves to till the soil of our hearts through the expansive thoughts of M without making this effort our general faith in the coming judgment does not send his tendrils over the bodily passions to bind them with the constraint of fear the particulars of our conduct do not emanate from the general principles of faith safeguarding us from the most obvious transgressions we constantly succumb to principal transgressions that reach to the heavens endless transgressions of speech countless unethical business practices and worst of all the neglect of Torah study in short there's no soundness in any part of our body so despite the fact that Hashem gave us and every single human being on Earth the ability to know what he means by meaning that there's a de there's a there's a judge there's a jury there's a judgment everyone knows this one day you get rewarded or punished everyone knows this without contemplating this on a regular basis through thoughts of M to doing a person simply takes th that information and puts it in the garage of the Soul puts it in the addict of the soul and now there's an empty space he has to replace it what he replaces it withy with nonsense his own personal beliefs his own personal beliefs yeah I'm allowed to be with her yeah but she's married yeah yeah but she's not happy so he manipulated his mind to think just because she's not happy he's now gonna say no no I'm GNA make her happy but she's married though according to no but she's not happy that kind of means she's going to get divorced another guy tells me no no I'm allowed to I'm allowed to to play poker said why are you allowed to play poker why it's gambling no no it's not gambling it's using it's using the uh you know it skill I said yeah but there partially gamble no no I'm going to prove it to you that it's not gambling and he has manipulated his own mind to make believe that gambling is not gambling why because he's the one doing it if he wasn't playing it you'd look at it from five miles away says what are you guys do in gambling but because he's doing it he's manipulated his own mind to think it's not gambling same thing with the guy that's going with a married woman same thing with the guy that's cheating his customers same thing that's in a lending business many people are in a lending business apparently there's an infestation an infestation of Jewish people that have got into the lending business over the last couple years lending money to other Jews with interest which the Tora says he has no share of the world to come they said no no but we sign the we sign a you could take that that allows you to charge 20 30% interest roll it into a piece of paper and take it to the toilet with you that St sky is worth nothing unless unless one second unless that says that the actual lender owns the business it's not alone show me one story like this it has to be the actual loan part has to be interest free let's say it's $100,000 being lent 50,000 interest free interest free meaning whether you like it or not you have to return that money but 50,000 you return the other 50,000 the other 50,000 there's no interest at all it's a stake in the business it's an ownership in the business in the meaning you get a piece of the pie but what if it blows up what if it goes to nothing you know a lot of business goes to nothing what happens Investments go to zero the 50,000 goes to zero that's a real show me one like this on all of theseis all they're all 100% interest no no no I I I'm getting interest because he's gonna make money that yeah that's alone but they said yeah but the rabbi signed off on it yeah he's going to be in Gomen right right next to you to going to be certain chapter there's the division for the lenders division for the borrowers and there's a special division for the rabbis that signed off none of them have the lender the borrower and the rabbi has signed off no one Hasa and this is an infestation in a religious Jewish world I had a guy B CH at least 5 10 years the other day asked me are you allowed to lend people money with interest I thought I thought maybe so I asked them to ask again Ask me repeat maybe I'm or something cuz this is Rule 101 in Judaism this is the beginning this is like you know Shabbat lending it's the beginning it's the beginning of Judaism every not the non-jews know the non-jews know that's why you go many of these uh non-jewish organizations they usually have something called some of these places that they have this in Jewish communities a bank they have even though it's a non-jewish non-jewish organization but the thing is though is that has parked inside our to such an extent that he's manipulated our emit he's manipulated our emit to think that we are allowed to do things that we're not allowed to do and our actual sad has changed definition the sadik that lives based on his instead of us understanding it like the actually says he's going to live to because he has faith that hasem is gonna judge him instead we say no no meaning his own personal belief whatever is good for him he's going to do whatever is good for him he's going to do everyone's going to do whatever is good for them for each their own they call it in in a goish world for each their own Live and Let Live there's no such thing as Live and Let Live in Judaism you're not allowed to Live and Let Live that's we have so with that being said you had a question in regards to the go ahead so two question but very quick so recently I was doing a business transaction we needed cash quickly I contacted this soal religious people from New York so I said look I need so and so this much money and uh I need it by within a week you so so much and uh he says well it's 20% okay and this guy supposedly is religious for 25 years okay he says um I he can't charge interest against the law he says who told you that I said well you you've been to ra M's lecture own he's like yes okay so did you listen he's like yeah but he's like they didn't say anything about as soon as you sign the paper it's fine I said yeah as a business owner but you're not going as a business owner all you are is getting the money back right cuz we don't want you as a business owner we already have three people on the LLC that's it can and the guy's like no no no no no listen I've been doing this for 10 years what's the question what I said to you know what it tells me a rabbi in Jerusalem Ben I Brock I said but Bank when I BR in Jerusalem he said no no no no a Sho has a f thing sign off on it and it's perfectly legal he says it's the most religious sector I'm like I know what it is I've been there what's the question why do these people keep getting rewarded the deal did not go through at the end because I knew the right answer from you from ra M because that's the right way to do the business yeah well I don't get it what but like why and and these people just getting wealthier wealthier wealthier wealthier and bigger well I mean the thing is as far there's two questions one you're asking asking why is he doing it and we just explained it he has a just like you have a just like I have a all of us have a Sinners we have plenty of sins we have plenty of all each one of us has our own some people have for sex crimes some people have yet for money crimes some people have yet for other things everybody has a if people truly understood what Sal said over here they would never sin a single sin in their life before they would contemplate whether it's even worth living past the sin said that even even the most average of average human beings knows the difference between right and wrong and so do you meaning you have no excuse when you go up to sh you have no excuse you have no EXC you can't use that excuse when go up to sh you cannot use that excuse oh I have yet and he's also telling you in the same paragraph he's telling you the fact that you know it is good problem is you're not going to have it here in your mind unless you study it on a daily basis unless you study it on a daily basis unless you study mud unless you do every single day and if you don't you're risking losing youra now a lot of people love RAB Shalom a he's a uh well-known speaker from uh uh talk abouta wrote a very well-known book um garden ofuna and B CH for many years and has a huge following B has a fantastic tal Nam Raa bro very very well-known speaker is now most people they see RAB Shalom Mar and they see oh he's like a nice little old man he seems nice he always talks about having he gives me gives me Good Feeling gives me good feeling yeah I read part of his book you probably skipped a lot of it because in his book he says some things that are nice that for the average person that doesn't want to do Chua but a lot of things for the person who doesn't want to do Chua who does or does meaning he says the whole issue of reward and Punishment it's it's in his books all of them but also I heard him say he repeated a part of the Z and ass sure that he did something time ago I only saw five minute clip he read a part of the zor teaching his students who he goes by the zor a lot he goes a lot about you know talks about the zor cabala and so on people love cabala people like kabala more than like people like cabala more than they like Kash they think cabala that's uh that's the Torah they don't realize that if they actually even had the the most minute connection to real cabala one of the angels from sh will come down killed them on the spot because part of cabala is you're saying the names of the angels and the angels like hasem says to us in the book of Exodus after the after the sin of the golden calf Hashem says I'm going to have an angel lead you I'm gonna have an angel lead you I'm not going to lead you anymore he tells Moshe I'm gonna have an angel lead you but don't sin because he's gon to kill you Moshe said no no no hasm if it's not you we're not moving from here why not what do you care Moshe what do you care Moshe knew that Hashem wasn't kidding that the Angel's not kidding meaning the angel does not have the tolerance the patience that Hashem has for us the angels are pure and they have no tolerance for sins so when people go go to the real MIM they get something called the Kam and the Kam has different names sometimes it has the names of angels now if a person is an impure person if they're an impure person they shouldn't wear that Kam they shouldn't even touch the KEH they shouldn't touch anything related the cabala they shouldn't look into the zor why because some parts of the zor in cabala says the names of these angels and if you say the names of these angels in essence you're commanding them to come here if they come they see you in your impure self with your wasting seed with your shabat with your with all the other stealing and lending money with uh with interest and all the stuff that you're doing they kill you on a spot they kill you on a spot we actually have stories in a few other places the comes comes to um uh uh and he says to him uh he shows you want me to show you one of my days shows him no he shows him oh go get such and such he mentions a certain person's name go get such and such he tells one of his workers one of the demon workers go get the N of such and such he sends the he goes to the little demon goes to this kills the person brings him back goes no not this one I didn't mean this one I meant the hair cutter says to his employee says no you brought me the the wrong you brought me the I asked for the hair cutter not the truck driver so says to him wait wait wait why don't you bring the back goes no once I take it I take take it it's mine once I take it I take it it's mine it's it finished it's mine what do you mean but he wasn't supposed to die if he wasn't supposed to die a wouldn't let it happen if he wasn't supposed to die AEM wouldn't let it happen a person did something he was on a 50/50 he was on a 50/50 H somebody plays does Skips Skip shab skips skips skips everything he with like it's like he has he has time hasem says oh time's out that's why a person needs to know there is a de there is a the average person knows this but unfortunately he's not going to put it in his mind in the front of lobe of his mind unless he's studying T unless he's studying the real Tor on a day-to-day basis and doing doing instead of spending all of his time going in the middle of the woods talking to Hashem about about requests that he wants from hem instead he should start doing and say to I'm sorry that I haven't fulfilled your requests people are too busy asking for Hashem for stuff what about fulfilling what he said so for all of those people that like cabala just know that if there's a small chance that you're actually dealing with real cabala most likely you're putting your life in danger the good news is that most of the time it's not real cabala because most of these so-called cabalists that give special sh to women are not real cabalists at all all they are is all they are is people like to look at women that's all they are they have no idea what cabala is they have no idea what one% of what cabala is so the people that are looking for shortcuts there's no shortcuts if there was I'll be the first one to teach it what do you need three hour shoes for just give teach people a shortcut do one two three you're finished once my career is finished okay I'm going to go back to Wall Street there's more money in it so it's important to know that there's a cure there's a cure for all the illnesses in the world it's called Tor it's called Tor but that Torah only works if you put your life on the line for it if you make it so important that you know there is no other choice there's no choice do I learn or not learn do I go to or not go to that's not a choice there are other choices do I eat not eat do I get married not get married do I have kids not have kids those are choices that you shouldn't make those choices you should actually make the right choice you have kids you get married you should eat you should breathe those are the choic those are technically very important choices you should make those choices but if you have a choice you have to make learn or not learn that's not a choice why because it is is what you're saying should I live or die that's what you're saying should I live or die who would pick to die were you suicidal so you had a question anything anything the cabala thing you said or the uh children thing I don't know I don't remember all of them oh okay well say to close the question is how do we raise children in today's society a society where right what do you do what do you do so sh said in that sh I forgot to mention that he saw inim said when it comes to when it comes to wasting seed people simply don't understand the magnitude of it whether a person is wasting seed on his own wasting seed with a woman that's not his wife Aya or so on people don't understand the magnitude of it and he says that Rish says in his that a person that waste seed can find a way to fulfill all of the MIT and when he goes up to sh they're all cancelled if he has wasting seed on his hands all of his mitv were cancelled it's as if he didn't fulfill them why he says because he missed the he missed the most important he missed the most important why that's his connection that's his connection to Hashem because if he has a connection to hasem that means he's afraid of him he's first afraid of him and he's eventually going to get maybe is going to get to love him but if he's wasting seed that means that he's not even afraid of hem at all he's not afraid of hashem's even the smallest punishment that Hashem can give him if he's not afraid of Hashem he has no connection to Hashem his connection is completely false and all of his mitv are completely false and therefore they all get canceled as if it's a as if they didn't happen now teaching this to young children in today's generation is a must is a must they don't like to teach this to even adults even to teach this to adults they don't like to teach that wasting seed is a very big sin people feel uncomfortable teaching themselves about it like oh you know it's not really comfortable it's really personal it's my business business it's intimate it's this it's that oh yeah so how come you watching that woman half naked on television is not intimate how come you watching uh the garbage on internet is not intimate spare me the uh the the excuses if you really thought of it as an intimate issue you wouldn't be have the problem the Torah is for everyone doesn't matter if you're seven years old like the sadik over here or you're uh 7 years old like you people you're what 35 only the point is Torah is meant for everyone and Torah is custom made for everyone whatever it's going to come out of the Torah your n is going to absorb it the way your n can handle so the first and most important thing uh the first and most important thing is to understand that you cannot under any condition under any condition make a shortcut when it comes to learning tah or when it comes to teaching tah there's no shortcuts there's no more there's no political correctness there's no oh this is appropriate this is not appropriate there's no such thing you cannot decipher the difference why if it's in the Torah you have to teach it and the things that the Torah says don't teach trust me you probably don't know them anyway you probably don't know them anyway and of course some of the people say yeah but it says in the T that when it comes to specific issues concerning you shouldn't teach two students shouldn't teach more than two students yes it does say that but it doesn't mean that literally what it means means is that the intricate details that are not mentioned in the Torah that are obvious but are not mentioned like the issues between a husband and a a father and a son and a a daughter and a father those types of details doesn't go into the details there's no reason to teach it it's a number one and number two it could give you a lot of perverted thoughts so usually teach it with a small focused oneon-one uh type of uh situation so the person is never in a circumstance where you're not talking to him because you're talking to somebody else and he could uh have enough time to start thinking craziness about what you're what you're saying when it comes to basic wasting seed and all types of sex crimes in the tah you're obligated to teach this stuff you're obligated to teach again one thank you so so rule number one as far as how to manage in this world is don't limit the Torah of your children don't restrain it don't limit it trust me when I tell you whatever his or her little can handle that's what they're going to get from the sh even if the sh is about something that uh is a big deal he's not going to get what you understand what's the proof just look at people that learned when they were kids and then they went off the and now they're trying to come back and do Chua so when they were kids they learned they learned about Noah andm destroyed the world and there was neim there were giants and there was all types of things they learned there were 10 11 12 years old however they were then they went off they made all the sins but now in their 20s 30s or 40s they decided to do Chua so what do you do with them you tell them listen you have to start learning again he goes no no I already know from 30 years ago you don't know anything you you start again if they listen because they're really interested in doing CH they come back to you tell I can't believe that I never I don't remember all this stuff I can't believe it says this I can't believe it says that I can't believe I can't it's it's all all of a sudden why because it's not that the Torah has changed it's that your can handle more now it's the same tah it's the same story it's the same commentary it's not that you forgot it's that when you were a kid you could only your n could only handle a certain amount of Torah that's specific to you that's what makes it Divine it's not a math book so the first rule that I would tell you is do not restrain your kids and the type of learning don't decide no no this is for him this is not for him this is for him this is not for him this is for her this is not for her if it's in theat if it's a basic if it's if it's the basic tah with Rashi commentary teach that's the first thing that already is going to teach your kids at a very very young age already at six years old your kids should know the difference between death and and and life already at 6 years old your child should know that Hashem can kill a person person you should know that why if hem if the person if the kid knows hasem can punish that kid's gonna have a little so before he does crazy things gonna think well can punish me for this and trust me when I tell you it's much easier to get the kid to be afraid of hem than you as a parent if the kid's not afraid of hem he's definitely not gonna be afraid of the parents he's definitely not going to be afraid of the parents so first and foremost you have to teach your kids the full Tor because that's the only way you can actually get them to have the second thing is is that like you said you can't close their eyes you can't put them in a box and expect them to stay in that box for the rest of their life I know this is a custom for a lot of people in really religious communities in Israel and some other parts of the world but many of those communities have more problems than you can imagine imine because what happens is they enclose their kids for years to their young age 15 16 17 18 years old they close him in and then at 18 years old the kid I he gets married or he just grows up and he gets a job or whatever the case may be goes out into the world he starts realizing that there's more than just the four walls he's been acclimating to his whole life and he starts seeing there there is such a thing called internet there is such a thing called a woman there is such a thing called you know clubs coffee I don't know drugs and all of it hits him at once and he does not have an immune system for it what's an immune system an immune system is when a person builds it through pain it's something that you build through pain it's not something that's just built on its own one of the reasons why you see a lot of the a lot of the medicines they give the kids when they're you know the immune shot immunization shots even though a lot of people are against it and because they cause a lot of sickness but there are basic ones that you have to give your kids like polio and other things like it you have to give your kids whatever is standard whatever is normal you're supposed to give your kids you don't want to give them anything you want to take the chance you know if you have realuna fine if you just think because it's poison then it's not fine if you have reala that hm runs the world that's fine don't have to take any of the shots but if it's just because you think that they're going to kill the kids or something like that they're going to turn that's not amuna it's just because you live in a conspiracy theory and that's Nota you should give your kids the shots so whatever standard not nothing above the standard but point is is that these immunization shots have a little bit of sickness in them there's a little sickness in it why because in order for the body to turn on the immune system to build an immune system to build a defense system against a certain illness it has to know that the illness exists it has to know that the illness exists once it knows it exists it's going to start fighting after it fights for a little while it's going to know how to win after it wins if it comes again I'm gonna kick its butt right away why because last time it took me a little it took me a week next time two days I'm finished with you third time you're not even coming why he's trained already there's immune system trained and that's why the immune system of an adult is much stronger than an immune system of a baby the adult has gone through many sicknesses through life so this is immune system that's physically the tells us actually inat some things that we didn't even know until nowat says 107b says one who traps a snake on Shabbat if he's involved with it so that it will not bite him he's exempt but if he wants it for his own use for Med for medical cure he's liable teaches that if a snake comes to bite a person and he's just defending himself catches the snake defend himself to to so he doesn't get beaten says okay it's not a sin you have no problem it's not trapping you're not trapping the snake because you're defending yourself you're allowed to defend yourself not like the Lefty liberals think that the Jews though are not allowed to defend themselves we're allowed to defend themselves if a snake comes a Palestinian comes you have to kill him no problem but if you just want to use it for medicine you're catching the stake on Shabbat for medicine purposes not allowed so here we see that the gar over 2,000 years ago knew something that we only discovered 40 years ago what that the Venom of the snakes can be something that's not only poisonous to kill us but could also be used for medicine this was only discovered in 1971 in the in the modern era and was approved by the FDA in the 198 81 or 1984 as we talked about last week's U wanted to show you just another example that to has the cure for everything cure for physical cure for Spiritual but the Torah also tells us this cure this cure part of the way that it works is that you have to build an immune system part of the way that the Venom the Venom will have less of an impact on a person is by use of Venom training the person there certain people that actually a few professionals that have actually been used themselves as as as the test as the test tube how he said let the snake bite meat just a little bit put a little they injected themselves with a little bit of Venom to build an immune system against Venom there's one particular guy I think he has I maybe 150 or 200 different types of Venom have gone into him he's the only guy in the world that's lived with that much venom he has an immune system that's built he's built himself to fight against Venom that's physically though spiritually it's not that different it's not that different but very different how it's not that different in a sense that you need to know that there's a Venom there's a poison out there it's very different in a sense that you're not allowed to go touch it you're not allowed to put the little Venom in you just to see what happens when it comes to spirituality you need to educate your kid kids that there is a right and wrong in the world you need to teach your kids there is allowed and not allowed there are things that we do there are things that we don't do but you have to give them as they grow up you have to give them a little bit of substance you can't just say no no no their whole life and expect them to understand it even if they understand that at five six four years old at seven 8 nine and 10 they're going to start asking why know and if you don't have a real reason they're not going to listen to you anymore so a person needs to know that education means that you have to increase the amount of disclosure you have to explain to kids why is it not allowed now you don't have to necessarily tell them why it's not allowed based on your political beliefs or based on your uh you know on all the real details that an adult will understand sometimes just simply saying hasm doesn't want you to do it is enough as they grow up tellem doesn't want you to do it and here's the reason it says in the verse over here and provide him a source that hasem this one that he's afraid of since he knows himself since four five years old six years old the same hasem that he's already afraid of hasem said no why because look Hashem says and you have that means you have to learn T you have to learn to if you if you don't know T you can't tell your kidm says no why because you don't know yourself so to just close the kids in the room and assume that they all going to grow up to be sadik just like that it's not going to work not in the world we live in today because unfortunately in the world we live in today you don't have to walk away from the house too far you're not a mile away from the house you already have a casino you already have a uh prostitution house you already have a nightclub you already have a liquor house you already have something that's against theem your kid's going to walk away a mile from the house at some point he's going to go to the store he's going he's going to see kids somebody in the school is going to have an iPhone somebody in the school is going to have a magazine somebody in the school is going to have something you have to teach the kid something so how do you do it you have to tell the kid already first and foremost teach him the full tah with no disclosers regardless of what they teach them in school regardless of what they teach him in school you yourself have to make sure the part of the teaching is the parts that no one wants to teach the scary parts that hasm actually kills the generation of Noah and it's not that you just went to sleep they didn't go to sleep killed them why they're Wicked I see teaching to his three-year-old kids threey old kids no he gave me a sh we did a sh about G three-year-old kid was right next to us 3 years old I was crying the kid wasn't crying strong so a person needs to know when it comes to to don't hold back don't hold back Hashem knows is to he knows what the N can handle he's only going to allow that to absorb what it could absorb an adult and a child could sit in the same sh the child will understand one thing the adult will understand something else next thing is when it comes to the world around when you see your people that are not doing what Hashem wants and the kid asks oh how come she's wearing a mini skirt how come she's wearing a pencil skirt how come she's wearing a you know our hair is out how come how come tell them oh they uh they're they're not doing good they're making a sin or maybe they don't know it depends on who the person is and then so on but if it's a person that you don't know and it's far away and you're not going to have a relation you can tell them no they they don't know or maybe they're making a sin maybe nobody told them some kids say okay let me go tell them some of these kids are much Bolder than us they're going to oh let me go tell them hey lady you're not allowed to walk around with no clothes lady so to to be bold like some of these children so the thing is though is that you have to tell them something you have to just saying yes or no is not going to work you have to give them substance you have to give them substance the another thing is is that you can't just close them and just say okay listen the kid's not going to have technology in his life ever he's not gonna have a phone he's not gonna have a game he's not GNA have a TV he's not gonna have a this he's not gonna have a that he's not gonna have anything he's going to sit in the house the his whole life no you have to teach him how to there are certain things that are allowed if you can teach him how to teach in the Kosher Way and there are certain things that are not allowed to say that a TV TV is not allowed is right why because TV you're gonna put cable and the kid's gonna watch cable and your kid's going to turn into a you don't want to invite the go into your house for dinner but you're gonna have one talking on a TV all day that's obviously not a good idea that's what used to say he says people don't want to invite go to their house for for dinner but they have one talking on TV all day Jobing Jing all day in the house obviously this is an obvious thing but to say that you're not going to have anything to show them to educate them like some type of screen it could even be a TV screen or computer screen to use for educational purposes that's a mistake why because a lot of the schools today use these tools schools today I when not even just talking about homes and so on we're not even talking about people that are teaching their kids on their own homeschooling and so on I'm talking about just schools schools today use these tools because that's what the people want unfortunately and they want technologically advanced teaching so they use these screens to show different teaching they want to put uh I don't know a certain type of program to teach them about animals or or or different things in the Torah so they're going to see this stuff exists they're going to see that there's a screen out there that projects colors and videos and numbers and so on and to just say it doesn't exist is a mistake you're lying to the kid and the kids's just going to take yeah my dad's a liar why he says TVs don't exist I know it exists I saw it when every Tuesday in school so to just just make the kid make the kid you know live under these false false false teachings that's not a good idea either so what you have to do is again this is not easy at all it's easier to say it from here it's much easier to say it to do it's a different story especially for the wives it's very difficult because they have to deal with this stuff but you have to teach them what allowed what's not allowed first of all cable is not allowed ever there's nothing good on cable especially because cable has Freedom a freedom that a child does not know how to use the child does not know how to discern between right and wrong between what's allowed what's not allowed when he has the freedom to flick the channels oh this is sports this is news this is stock market this is nudity this is movie this is more nudity this is movie this is more every channel is a kid cannot determine the right and wrong so you cannot allow the kid such Freedom if you're going to put something on a screen whether it be a computer screen or iPad screen or tablet screen uh phone screen any digital screen you have to review it first you have to this is a lot of work for women a lot of work for the for the for the for the the the the mothers bless them they're going to raise the kids a ton of work why they have to watch every stupid show to see if the guy is a atheist if he thinks he came from a monkey if he teaches about you have to teach him why because if he's going to give the kid the complete freedom to go you know it looks cartoonish let him go watch and then you start seeing the kid doing the cross sign on his on his on his chest all of a sudden in the house like where did this come from oh it was on uh Stevie likes wonders what where is Ste it's the show you bought me IMA what show I buy you oh you see the show you on eight minutes into the show that you are too lazy to watch the guy is teaching the kids to do out a cross on their chest so first you have to you're going to teach them something you have to review it you have to review it so you want to review with the kid review with the kid and as soon as a a certain part stops is there's immodesty there's Christianity there's any type of idolatry stop delete the kids start crying let them cry till next week it's better they cries now than you cry so you have to review these videos you have to review them you have to second thing about the videos you have to limit the amount of stot that you will let your kid put into their mind 90% of the videos have to be educational 90% 90% have to be educational teach them numbers letters t there's a million different ways today of how they teach them to these different shows if you're already going to use this tool to teach them they're going to teach them ALB they're going to teach them ABC and teach him about animals I teach him about a lot of programs C stick to the cartoons by the way because with the real people it's very very difficult to find modest people I'm serious once in a while you have decent people but it's difficult to find you have to go to a lot of programs to find something kosher most of them don't know how to wear clothes themselves and so they're not going to teach your kids how to wear clothes so cartoons is easier cartoonish figures most of the time it's it's much better but if you're already going to do it you have to make sure that it's educational it's not just uh Spider-Man and Wolverine fighting each other and uh and then the guy with the skateboard that steals Dennis the Menace and then uh the I this is from Mike my days I don't know if Dennis is still alive maybe he's probably old now uh whatever all these programs you have you don't 30 years ago hold Dam I have all these programs that they have for kids a lot of them I remember I see that they have these programs with with dogs and with cats and with uh spaceships and all that stuff every kid needs every human being needs a little bit of nonsense you can't just have your kid be unless he's a special gifted child you can't just have 100% seriousness all the time 24 hours a day no he needs a little bit of nonsense in his life okay so limit it to 10% 10% or the like close to it you don't have to hold me to it as far as the exact number you know your child but don't start making it 5050 50% nonsense 50% uh tah why because you're Canna have a half a religious kid 50% nonsense is already too much it's already too much if he's he's if he's watching dogs and cats 50% of the day he's going to turn into a dog or a cat he's going to turn into a dinosaur in your house instead of saying AB to you what's what is that that's what you learn yeah dinosaur tyrannosaurus Tyrannosaurus Rex if that's what your kid's doing at the dinner table it means he's watching too many dinosaurs so you have to limit it you have to limit it you have to limit it I know he wants to watch or she wants to watch the other stuff I have kids too and they cry also and they want to watch the stuff that they're not supposed to watch but that's what that's the difficult part you have to let them cry sometimes after a while it makes a little easier there's a lot of with enough search there's a lot of programs that you can watch that are Kosher and the good news about kids is that they can watch the same thing a thousand times a thousand times so even if you don't have much of a budget there plenty of things for free and on top of it you can watch the same once you find something good you can watch it you good you're good for a week every single day at least four five times a day with some of these things so but you have to watch them first you can't just give the kids the freedom to play with the remote or play with the thing to just go freely into it because it's dangerous it's too dangerous but to just say it doesn't exist that's a lie the kid's going to wake up one day is going to say Aba Ima Liars there's a world Beyond this world I like the Torah it's fun but now I want to see what's in the rest of the world so to Simply say that uh you know closing the kid and expecting him to stay within those four walls in our generation it's just not possible it's not possible even if he becomes a he's gonna to be a today and to get your name out there you're going to have to use technology whether it's YouTube videos or it's a uh or it's audio or it's a writing books or selling your books All Tech you need to use technology it exists so to just make it pretend like technology doesn't exist it's just silly it's simply silly it's more critical to teach our children right and wrong I don't believe in this this uh this move that they have in some communities where as they see a person with an iPhone they take it from his hand They smash it on the floor first of all that's stealing first of all that's stealing and that's 100% stealing why did you 100% steal because you're assuming that he's looking at inappropriate things on his phone but you're assuming that he's not ker when you yourself are 100% not ker you're 100% doing he may be doing it so there's no permission into to just take somebody's stuff because you're assuming that he's making a sin with it now of course to most people they shouldn't have these phones if there's no real need for it if your only need for an iPhone or one of these smartphones to go on Facebook then of course you shouldn't have one but if you're going to use it for some purpose from good purpose and you have the ability to determine right and wrong and you have the ability to control right and wrong then there's no problem with it that if you're using it for real purpose to do Kyo to to for your business there's no problem with it but that's the thing people pretend like as if technology doesn't exist and we all live in a box and for the most part that doesn't exist in the world today at some point people going to leave the box and they're going to get all of the sicknesses of the world to hit them at once and they're going to completely collapse there's more risk there's more risk in that type of person where you expose all of the sicknesses of the world all of the Sodom and Mor world that we live in today you expose him to all of it at once rather than expose him a little bit at a time when he's eight you teach him that there's a screen that he could learn Al on when he's 11 or 12 you teach him that there's I don't know uh he could press on the screen to do Al or something when he's 13 14 he knows that there's a Aba has a phone and ABA uses the phone to learn tah or ABA use the phone to uh do his business or to call Ima so she doesn't yell at him whatever it is he had there's a phone that exists you teach him things and other people do the wrong thing with the phone AB says no we're not allowed to do those things with the phone ABA teaches the kid right and wrong IMA teaches the kid right and wrong which is timec consuming annoying and so on and so forth but that's what you signed up for when you had kids that's what you signed up for when you had kids if you don't want to do this with your kids don't have kids do us a favor don't have kids we don't need more Hitlers in the world to give a kid 100% Freedom you're killing him to lie to the kid and constrict him you're also killing him because eventually you're GNA let him loose and he's going to let loose who knows if he's ever going to come back home it's too much risk so we can't pretend that this stuff doesn't exist so everything within reason you have to when they're they're young and even when they're old and as long as they're under your roof you have to double check everything there's no such thing as privacy a kid does not have privacy you only has privacy once he has once he's not a kid anymore once he lives in his own house once he lives in his own house or she lives in her own house with a husband that's when they have privacy there's no oh no he locks the room there's no lock the room there's no locking the room you live in my house there's no lock in the room there's no lock on the door the father should always be able to enter the son's room obviously everybody should respect each other's uh privacy and not be Psychopaths but the point is that the kid should not be in the room for 3 hours in a row no one knows what he's doing I can tell you what he's doing they call me and they tell me they have a lot of serious problems with wasting seed that's what they do for three hours so same thing with the girl the mom should always be able to enter the room with no problem there's no private you live on a house on a roof there's no privacy these these these these liberal mentalities of no the kid is 13 she should always have already have her own room and her own privacy yeah she's probably going to get pregnant by the time she's 14 with her own privacy so we need to understand There are rules in the Torah the rules in the Torah are going to give us a certain guide what to do what not to do you are obligated to teach these things what to do what not to do to your children not to the children once they're adults it says and you have to teach this to your children meaning when they're children children you teach them right and wrong now when they're 18 19 years old you finally tell them what happens between a man and a woman the kids about to get married on the you tell them oh by the way you know you guys are going to go to the now you tell me I'm 19 ABA I'm 20 ABA I'm 20 now you tell me uh you have to teach this to your kids it's uncomfortable but you have to do it so we can't act like we're we're living under a rock because the world world is unfortunately a very very uncontrolled Sodom and gamorra world so the only way for us to have a chance is by developing an immune system a spiritual immune system with unsensored tah with teaching our kids the truth don't uh sugarcoat it Hashem doesn't need your help uh with restricting what our kids see don't let your kids go anywhere they want just because they want to or just because they're crying control control it has to be a controlled environment but not a control to such an extent that you're suffocating them controlled they can't go everywhere they can't play with everyone which leads me to my next point if you want to do kiru because you love Hashem and you want to get people to get closer to Hashem that's fine that's a good thing it's a Mitzvah but that does not me give you the right to sacrifice your family you cannot bring asav to your house I don't care how much you love AEM if your brother your sister your father your mother your best friend from childhood your boss your neighbor if they're asav if they're still if they're still walking around half naked if they still don't know the difference between right and wrong you're not allowed to bring these people to your house you have no right to bring these kids to your house these people to your house and definitely not with their kids no the kids are going to play together Shalom the kids are going to play together you G have asa's kids playing with your kids you expect your kid to be sadik you have no right to put your kid in danger playing with as you have no right to put his in danger you might as well send up to public school if you're going to do that what do you think they what's the teaching in public school is only half the problem the fact that they teach kids that they all came for monkeys is only half the problem the other half is the kids so you're going to bring your secular brother sister or cousins friends into your house they don't know right or wrong they're going to play with your kid You're expect your kid to be sadik why why you think your kid's Yakov let me tell you something he's not Yakov Yakov was already 4,000 years ago only one of them you kid's not yov stop lying to yourself he does not have the ability to decipher he's still seven 10 11 12 years old do not allow him to play with as and expect him to be yov you have no right to do this you're going to destroy him meaning your kids are going to have less friends but they're going to be alive spiritually alive so they have to have friends because you as parents can never be their friends you're never going to be their friends they don't want you as their friends you're not cool you're losers in their eyes really is when once they get older you're old you're someone told me one time you goes you're old you're like 30 or something right I said I'm older than that but I'm not you're like 30 or something you're like old and the kid was like 15 it's like you're like old already like 30 or something right to Kids to Kids somebody that's 30 or something is old you imagine you're and you're old like 30 or something he tells me the 15y old I felt like I was I felt like I was old so I'm giving trying to give tells me old it's old 30 or something so the stuff that stands in your mind imagine so the thing is though you can't be your kid's friend so you have to have a friend it's this takes little effort if you send him to school cuz you have a kosher School in your community then it's a little easier to make friends a easier to make friends usually there going to be at least one decent kid in the class that's friends with your kid see how they play you have to monitor it carefully to make sure that the kid is not like an undercover asav to make sure that his parents are not teaching him that the Reby is really mashiach or he's God or something like that and he's going to start teaching that to your kid you have obviously monitor who they're friends with it's just because they wear a ke but does not give them a uh open entry do whatever you want in my house also they have to have manners just because they have a keepa and they they don't they're not Messianic doesn't mean that every Sometimes some of these kids that are religious uh they have no manners whatsoever they break half the house they start going into your fridge so again you have to it's it's difficult it's annoying but this is life this his life this is what we have to do so you have to give your kids friends you have to give them friends which is very very difficult I can tell you for myself my own personal situ it's very difficult very difficult to find friends for kids but they exist they exist in the world especially once the kids go to school and so on um give them some people to socialize with also limit that you don't necessarily need to to to be out and about all day every day few times a week once twice a week whatever it is something reasonable uh and again keep them busy keep them busy keep them busy with doing mitvah keep to busy with learning T get them involved in what you're doing give them chores to do have them contribute into the house make them Partners make them feel significant make them feel like they're they're doing something to contribute to the house don't just make them oh you're the kid you just you're just you're going to only know once you grow up don't be one of those parents no no only understand once you grow up no no teach him something that he can understand tell him something that he can understand yes he doesn't understand what the mortgage means he doesn't understand what the mortgage means but explain to them something he can't understand find a way to be creative with your kids communicate with them communicate with your kids don't be one of these uh parents that only knows their kid after the kid went off the only after a disaster hits now you oh I really loved him what really love him you haven't met him until he was only 15 years old when you first met him communicate with your kids communicate with them talk to them listen to them most importantly see what they say what's on their mind what's bothering them why is he so quiet how come he never talks how come he stop talking for the last two weeks what's bothering him what's the matter talk to him don't be friends with them don't misunderstand this do not be friends with your kids they're not your friends if they're your friends they're going to be little Hitlers they're going to end up not respecting you not wanting to listen to you because friends are friends today you're my friend tomorrow I don't feel like you're being my friend they're not your friends do not be friends with your kids don't tell your problems to your kids oh you know I'm stressed out right now you know what do you think don't ask him what he thinks you're the leader you're the lion lers and ask the Cubs what do you think should I go hunting or no what do you mean Aba who's gonna go hunting if it's not you so yeah again these all easy to say it's very easy for me to tell you all this stuff it's very it's very hard to do very hard to do but you have to this is the stuff you have to like tell yourself over and over and over and over again this is the stuff you have to keep tell yourself over and over again to to to get yourself to protect yourself and your kids because it's a very difficult world and if you don't build a real immune system to protect protect yourself and your children and your family it's all it could all be lost in a second every family has a problem today every family has one kid or one neighbor or one cousin or one grandson or one this or one that that has a problem every family today don't be one of those families it's difficult you have to cry a lot you have to pray a lot you have to do a lot but if you're really busy serving hem and you get your kids excited about serving Hashem not just going to the synagogue but learning and doing what you learned and putting implementing what you learned and and practicing for Shabbat on Tuesday and cleaning and shopping and doing stuff like fulfilling the mitvah together they're not just little uh things that are in your house you get them involved then you're going to keep them busy they're more excited about doing mitv and they're living it they live a life of Tora they live it but if they're just people that just live in your house and eat non-stop then don't be surprised if they don't want to be there anymore and they want to start playing with their iPhone on the part that's not allowed and they want to be on a computer that's not allowed and all the things that are not allowed and last but not least is the most important don't be a hypocrite don't ask your kids to do something you're not doing why because that could break the Whole Thing Once the kid has determined that his parent is a hypocrite all bets her off he's never going to respect him again he's never going to listen to him again specifically on that subject don't tell your kid go to synagogue and you haven't gone for a week don't tell your kid you should learn you should really devote your life into learning and you haven't learned One D in the last year don't tell your kids to do stuff you're not doing you want the kid to do it show him you want the kid to care about toah you care about toah no but I'm busy making money okay so he's goingon to be busy making money too whatever you're going to do he's goingon to want to do she's GNA want to do if you care about how you look that's all she's going to care about too the little six-year-old is going to care about how she looks if if IMA is in front of the mirror half the day fixing her wig the little kid's going to be fixing her real hair at six years old too if FEMA is looking at uh skirts that are right above the knee the little girl girl also wants right above the knee everything that the parents do the kids are going to want to do don't tell them to do something you're not doing which means you have to start doing chuva you have to start doing chuva if you want your kids to beik you have to start doing chuva you have to pick their friends you have to pick what they watch you have to pick what's what these windows they call eyes are going to inake you have to pick all these things but most importantly you have to do the same thing for you you have to do the same thing for you if you're going to watch garbage on on the internet when no one's watching don't expect your kids to be sikim one day they're going to catch you and you're not going to know they caught you until they 25 years old a lot of these parents like oh I don't know how my kid I don't know how my kid fell off I don't know what happened I don't know my kid fell off one day when the kid's grown up he's got a he's got a wife he's got kids and he's having a be beer with ABA instead of du he has a beer with ABA he's like you know what let me tell you a story ABA let me tell you you know I used to like something happened what what happened son I'll tell you don't get offended ABA you know when I was 11 you know I walked into your office one time and I saw and the ABA didn't know for 15 years that that's what happened you know how many these stories exist this promised this in some someone that desecrates hashem's name in hiding Hashem punishes them how by making it go public you your your sin is going to be disclosed to the whole world why your son's going to do it he's going to do it in the open how did he start why did he want to go into such a business oh saw you watch a video one time in your life one time you watched it one you don't have to watch it every day one time in your life you watched it one time in your life you let the open with you opening the door yourself okay that one time hasem says okay that's what was on the line so most important things is not to be a hypocrite we have to do chuva ourself by doing chuva that means we've gotten to the point that we realize that Torah learning it it's not an option it's not an optional thing it's not maybe if I have time or I feel like it or I'm not tired that's not one of those options you start getting to a point where you realize it's life or death if it's not me it's not me my life or death it's my kid it's my wife it's uh my uh grandkid it's my daughter somebody's life's on the line for this Shield somebody has to be why or else it wouldn't exist it would become a purposeless you so this is what we have to understand we do Chua and I think it becomes a little easier yeah yes that's why it has to start when they're little uh it's yeah of course right so if if the parent starts early enough when they're kids when they're babies that IMA runs the house and you put the fear of God into the child that you cannot go against the parents it makes it easier not easy makes it easier where even if the kid wants to pick once IMA says no it's no once the kid has a fear of God when he sees the parent that's it and sometimes they get too comfortable with the mom so the mom has to use the special special powers what I'm gonna tell your dad and kid like oh give up okay so that's a normal situation where you've taught the kid from birth unfortunately many of us have done Chua later on in our life and our kids already grew up and they're already eight and nine and 10 and 12 and 14 and 16 and the ship of discipline has sailed far far away so in that particular case me much of what I said is either impossible to to uh to use or very difficult at best if the kid's already a teenager 14 15 16 years old to start monitoring what he watches is virtually impossible so here you have to start treating the the the the kid as if he's a b Chua you have to go straight without controlling it you can't control what he watches you have to outright teach them right and wrong and explain to them why this is wrong in every way you have to obviously learn it with them and you have to convince them that this is wrong and this this is right if you haven't done it so far you have to learn with them you have to spend time some of your learning has to be sitting down with your kid and teaching them what's right and wrong all over again and showing them how disgusted you are with this wrong and trying to do your very best to convince them that it's wrong and again doesn't necessarily mean that what I'm saying is going to work it's much much more difficult to get your kid to do chuva at 14 than at four so in that case you have to convince them with something else you have to convince them sometimes with money you have to convince them sometimes with gifts even if they're four years old if you have to actually says it if you have to convince your kids to learn t with money good a Mitzvah it's a mitvah to convince your kids with money to go learn t with gifts or whatever it is to go learn to no problem even if you have to bribe them do it seriously do it pay your your kids to go learn to if you have to it's not a it's not a it's not teaching them anything bad show them that there is a reward they don't understand what Gan Eden is they don't understand what Gom is 100% like you do even we don't understand 100% what GED Gom is they understand immediate reward so give them an immediate reward give them a quarter give them 50 cents if the budget allows gives them a give them a whole dollar for uh you learn here's a dollar and once every few months after they saved enough dollars you could take them and buy them uh something or maybe buy it on the internet so you don't have to go to the store uh and uh and uh buy them something with it but the point is is that uh once they're young it's much easier once they're older then you have to do a little more bribing but most of all you have to interact with them yourself if you want them to learn you have to learn with them you want them to do you have to do with them don't tell them listen go build a Suka you go build a Suka go learn you learn oh but it's good it's t oh it's good for you they want to know that somebody else that's bigger than them both in size and in age is doing it so if you're not doing it they're not going to do it so it takes a lot more convincing once they get older it's not impossible but if you get your kids excited about it then and uh and you apply all of the things we just said un sensor toah full force no you know you make it you're number one thing you're not a hypocrite you're doing all of it you want them to be modest you're modest you want them to beim you're sadik and so on and so forth then they'll do it it's never easy it's never it's not easy when they're two it's not easy when they're 12 but it's obviously easier ones they're younger but always teach them that you run the house it's very very important for a kid to know that the parents run the house and that the kids are never ever ever allowed ever allowed to get involved in a discussion between ABA and IMA never never allowed to get involved in a debate between ABA and IMA never never ever allowed don't ever ask your opinion if if the parents ever have a uh you know they make the mistake first of all you should never get into an argument in front of the kids that's already no no but it happens in life it happens if it happens and you've already made one mistake and you argued in front of the kids don't make the mistake much worse by by getting the kids involved or even worse by asking the kids their opinion who do you think is right don't you think he should do this for me don't do this don't kill your kids like that because that's what you're doing you're killing them being a kid now they're becoming another parent now there's three parents in the house you're making you're turning a kid into a parent now he's going to get involved in every every discussion he's going to start giving you the opinion of what he thinks you should do with your job and your boss and the vacation and in the finance plan and then in the Investments and your stock broker and he's going to start telling you everything you're you're killing his childhood and you're also killing your marriage kid is not allowed inside the parents discussion you want to have a discussion separate your kids start telling yeah but IM I think oh you think the don't get involved in my marriage you have no idea what it's like to be ABA ABA is right you just don't know it yeah but you said he's not right to me he's not right to you he's always right to you is always right to you is like God to you IMA is like God always right to me it's different story it's the difference between us you don't understand you are 12 you're 14 you don't understand don't get involved in my uh my marriage make sure the kids never feel comfortable enough to start telling IMA and ABA what they should do with each other this is a mistake many many people make and what ends up happening is that the W the wife now has six husbands all four of our sons are husbands now what's five husbands so point is you cannot do this to yourself you're ruining marriages that way so again all of these things are easy to say hard to do but you have to do them each one is a critical point that you don't do it it's a heavy damage yeah no no one says they have to be in the house all the time sure sure I didn't say leave them in the house all the time just most of the time right so right so I said you should have friends homeschooling unfortunately is becoming more and more common because the schooling system today is an atrocity uh you don't know if you're sending your kid to a school if it's public school it's 50% chance he's not coming back home why is it probably shooting no this is not an exaggeration right now in the United States we are averaging more than one shooting per week more than one shooting per week in a school in America more than one shooting per week so far this year okay so it's not a joke it's not like I'm not I'm not mocking it there's nothing to mock about it's a reality right now we're averaging more than one shooting per week and almost one shooting per week since 2009 you're send to public school hold on what you're saying in general to people I don't understand the difference of public school and and and religious school regular school in general just so you know 50% chance he's not coming home just because of the shootings now if you're a Jew if you're a Jew sending him to public school you're just declaring him dead already why it's better the Kid die than go to public school because what you're doing is you're going to send him to the go that are going to tell him that he came from a monkey and he's going to come to you he's going to tell you that you're a monkey because he came for monkeys and that you should go get him some bananas and that uh and that he doesn't want to believe in God and he wants to eat bunnies for breakfast and he wants to uh hang out with the pigs and he wants to be and he wants to be a football player when he grows up and he wants to put earrings in every ear and every hole that he has and doesn't have and he wants to already have a girl that acts like his wife when he's 14 years old and all those things and that's what you're doing to yourself by sending the kid to public school it's better off that a Jewish kid died then go to a public school I'm telling you this outright that's what the Torah says it's m you're actually sending to get to the gam that's what you're doing so public school is not an option it's not an option because physical death 50% chance spiritual death 100% 100% so now if you're smart enough let's say you live in a community and you're lucky too you found actually you live in a community that happens to have a decent Yeshiva you're what you already have in this world you're already getting your reward in this world already if you have a decent Yesa in your community you're already getting reward why because unfortunately many of them are not decent many of them just say Yesa decent it doesn't say as many plac that are not decent but there are some that are if you have a decent Yesa system invest in it as much as you possibly can even more than the tuition again if you have a decent Yesa in your community listen to this carefully if you have a decent yes in your in your community and you're sending your kids there you should pay more than the tuition more why don't ask for discounts ask for discounts from the supermarket ask for discounts from uh from the gas station ask for discounts from your wife doesn't feed you as much so you get skinny don't ask some discounts from Yesa why because right now a decent Yesa a holy Yesa is like finding a million karat diamond in the middle of the street if you have a decent Yesa system spend as much as you can into it invest in it why so it gets bigger so you help if you have decent teachers you have a decent sh don't ask for discounts like some people ask me for discounts they're millionaires they make a few hundred, a year they're asking for discounts you is something wrong with you they're saving your kids's life every single day you're asking for a discount it's like asking a doctor listen can you uh give me a discount on on the bill sir you you're getting chemotherapy what what what discount was saving your life you're getting chemotherapy you want a discount too don't ask for a discount from a good Yesa unless you can't afford it if you can't afford it's a different story then you're not asking you're you're you're you're you're begging it's different story different story but if you have the money give them even more I'm serious give them even more contribute to the community now if you're unlucky like many of us and you don't have a decent Yesa either because one of the teachers is really not a teacher he's a rapist or because uh they teach they teach that uh the Torah is not provable like this one Yesa in in Florida that the principle of the Yesa says that the Jews don't believe in miracles and the yam was tsunami he's a principal of Yesa in in Florida the yam Su was a tsunami because he saw it in the Discovery Channel and and the likes you don't have one you have one of those types of yes then you're not allowed to send you kiss to that Yesa if the ISA teaches the kid that the rebi is God or the mashiach or they teach them that uh you know that modesty is no longer applicable or that the Torah is no longer applicable or that if it doesn't agree with science then it's not really Torah all types of things that are against hem you're not allowed to send your kids there not allowed to send your kids there you're not allowed to put your kids at in at risk hoping they're going to make it because it's difficult for you difficult difficult move you're not allowed to put your kids at risk so in that case you have to homeschool which is difficult to say the least but at least you know that your kid's going to be uh a koser Jew so in that case that means that you have to spend extra time picking the material of what you're going to teach them what you're not going to teach them that means you're going to have to spend extra time teaching them yourself one of the parents can't work so which is not necessarily that's a bad idea anyway you have to have should have one parent at home anyway you don't want to have two parents at work all day and the kids at home all day and there's no parents and kids the only time they see each other when they're sleeping you want one of those you don't want one of those so you want to have a situation where the uh you're going to pick the material the curriculum invest a lot of time into it invest a lot of time into actually teaching the kids sitting down with the kids learning with the kids pretending like you care actually caring eventually uh if you can't do it then maybe get somebody else to do it maybe get a few people a few neighbors together and make your own little school you want she wants every three you know two people three people in the community and that way also you're making friends the kids could also learn with each other they're Lear with each other they're interacting with each other and you have they're both you're killing two birds one stone but you can't eat it he not go you kill with this stuff so that way it's again it's difficult difficult it's not impossible but that way you have socializing now as far as Beyond School socializing again as long as it's a controlled environment as long as it's a place where it's not a place that's outright going to create major problems now when they're really really young you have a little more freedom you have a little more freedom for the wife to go take him into the uh I don't know park or something like that but don't ask the husband to go to the park don't ask the husband to go to the park don't ask the kid that's above 13 years old uh to go to the park why because you're going to look at the ball they're going to look at women you're looking at the dogs running they're thinking something else don't ask the husband to go to the park don't ask the don't don't do that to the husband don't kill your husband so you have a little more freedom when they're little kids you want to I don't know you want to go to the park you want to go in I know I don't know these slides and stuff all these different things fine no problem you have a little more freedom but don't ask the husband to go to all these places with you because you want a family day and even if you have a family day to some of these places again and has to be limited you cannot expect the husband to go to the boardwalk and expect him to come home the same because even if he's a sadik going there he's not a sadik coming back so you have to limit it you have to limit it I mean Unfortunately today especially when uh people give themselves excuses to not wear clothes you have to limit it generally as the G told his wife in his he told them when he left for Israel in those days when you left to go out of town there's no guarantee you're coming back it's not like planes like today one plane you're on there for a couple hours you're in a different country those days you had to go and just traveling took months just getting to your destination took a few months and it was very very difficult and many of them didn't make it just the journey itself was difficult so every one of them would write a letter to their family as if it's like a last will in Testament so the you could find it on the internet for free it's a letter of the writes to his wife he says I saved extra money for you to pay people to go and even do the shopping for you so you don't have to leave the house see I say a special savings I made in those days 200 years ago when people still wear clothes I saved extra money so you don't have to leave the house so in general if you could leave the house less I personally recommend to leave the house less you want to take the risk and go to Every uh store you can whenever you have an opportunity you can do what you want I'm going to tell you my recommendation you want to go to a store you want to go to things that are unnecessary when today you have the convenience especially in America to order things want to go to the store go to the store you want to go to the mall go to the mall you want to go to Gom go to Gom do it's it's your business I'm just telling you you want to try especially as the man you want to try to do everything you can to protect your eyes especially if you're GNA do everything else we talked about until now which is learning T because once you start looking at things that are not appropriate it's very very difficult to retain the T that you learned so why learn two three hours you're going to lose it anyway is noal no it's not just a waste so try to limit it and the wives do the husband a favor do the shopping do whatever is necessary order even if it costs an extra 10 20% doesn't make a difference it's better to keep an A and limit limit how much you go outside and even if you want to have family day try to even contain that that you know where you're going the destination point a point B Point C Point see we're going from here here here here finished we're not just walking in Wonderland not knowing where we're going and we may end up in a really bad neighborhood like nowhere you're going and again you got to protect your it's very difficult people that don't protect the are bound to get hurt if you just walk around into the world careless then guess what careless will come to you also you walk around careless in this world it's going to come home one day you know you're going to see a divorce one day you're going to see a kid off the de one day you're going to see non kosher and you're free why you were careless careless happened also in your other places in your life so don't think that you could just no everybody's gonna figure out on their own because that's exactly the opposite of what our T said t said don't think that every person is entitled to their own opinion that's not Tor T is the sadik needs to have that AEM will give him reward or punishment and because of that he's going to have yeah well it depends on depends on the parents some parents excuse me some parents some people in general are expert teachers they're fantastic teachers they're fantastic storytellers and they know how to connect to everyone and they have a special bond with their kids that's rare most people even if they are good teachers still cannot connect to their child throughout their entire life they could only connect to their child at a certain section of their life so that's why even theim even theim would send their children to other they knew like for example kamki Shalom sent his own son the president of kamki he sent him to his friend who also he sent him to his friend to go learn with him why but you yes but he's my son my son is not going to learn from me the same thing he's gonna learn from a stranger so yes it is a very good idea to at some point send your children to go learn under somebody else uh but that's again the stages to the learning when they're young when they're really really young if you could do it on your own and you're good at it then do it if not find somebody else that is instead of buying an extra dress a year then spend that money on getting an extra tutor a year an extra tutor every week meaning nowhere to minimize your expenses so you could actually live the T the dress you don't need the shoes you don't need the car with the with the uh navigation system you don't need the child's n you need so if you have to walk three miles a day so your kid has a that's protected it's fine but if you have a car and you don't have to ever walk but your kid has no then uh what' you do with it so invest into learning learning is very very important for a Jew learning is very important for a person in general now you shouldn't only limit it to uh just uh just a k and just a uh you should teach them some basics of secular studies like math and language math and language English Hebrew Wherever You Are uh teach them the common language teach him some math and uh some basics of you know day-to-day musar stuff I mean in general you're going to learn it anyway but language and math you don't need to teach him too much as far as a uh uh science I mean unless you want unless that's something that you actually know what you're talking about in um but the core subjects that you must teach them meaning that there's no way that you cannot teach them is science and language I'm sorry math and language math and language is a must you must teach your kids how to speak how to read at a right and more than just Hebrew more than justes and you must teach him how to do math many times I see I meet young kids in this generation that actually went to school but they don't know know it right they literally don't know how it right they so used to text messaging or typing they don't know how to write handw write they don't know how to handw write or they don't how to spell don't know how to spell it's horrible kids don't know how to spell or they can't do math in their head you tell them listen what's * 9 oh hold on a second they take out their phone you don't know how nine times n you don't know nine time n really that's what we got to this gener nobody knows N9 time 9 is 81 by the way nobody knows any math nobody knows any math in their head you should at the very least as a human being know at least every number multiplied by itself up to 12 minimum minimum as a human being you should know every number multiplied by itself up to 12 12 * 12 144 at the very minimum you should practice to do math in your head why because this teaches you how to think how to think fast how also at one point you know how to give change get change conduct your day-to-day business people don't know they just you know they go to a store they just give you a bunch of money here take what you want from it I want the whole thing all they just they give the guy credit card why you giving the guy card maybe he's overcharging you maybe this maybe that they don't know how to convert currency they go to a different country they go to Israel the guy says oh it's three and a half shekels per dollar oh wow so I get one shekele for every three dolls like they don't know how to convert you have to teach your kids math you have to teach your kids math you have to teach them language you have to teach them language anyone doesn't teach the basic minimum they should send it to school then because you're doing a worse job than the school you have to teach them how to speak how to read how to write and you have to teach them about math you have to teach them math if you don't know it then you should get a tutor to and today for secular subjects there's free there's free tutoring there's free there's many videos on it there's many stuff on it you could learn math you could learn English you could learn a lot of things you're going to contribute some time you have to know these things an uneducated person is a person that's walking blind now in this world knowing T is critical but to be a you cannot only know Rashi and to andu you have to know also what's going on in the world you have to know how to read how to communicate with people basic stuff so when it comes to teaching your kids you have to know where you have to know your own limitations you have to know your own limitations you have to know if you have communication skills you have to know if you have temper problems you have to know if you have patience you have to know if you know what you're talking about you have to know if you have time you have you have to know yourself if you can't do it then you have to find somebody that can but doesn't give you a right to not do it just because you can't do it you have to find somebody else doing it you know either that or send them to school but you have to you have to teach you have to make sure your kids come out of your house educated because an uneducated Jew is m a disaster to the world so it's uh it's a huge huge task with enough prayers enough tears because of the we succeed yes go ahead keep asking it's good questions no save price about course go ahead say say it say it say go can't just doesn't it's not so easy I said it five times it's not so easy I know it's not so easy I have two kids definitely not so easy they cry they complain they don't want to do it they don't want to listen I get it they fall asleep they don't want to go to sleep yeah it's it's of course yeah they're not uh little robots that just do what you say of course it's it's it's it's very very difficult but when they ask the St of kki his father they asked them for how is it that you the your son is also like it's not common actually the even says it's not common for a uh sadik to assume or to even have a son that's also a giant you would think it is common he's sadik his son's gonna be sadik no you shouldn't assume that so they asked him even the Torah says that it's not common sometimes it the opposite happens David has AB Shalom David having AB Shalom is much more common than theid having scho maybe that's the secret behind having a lot of kids at least you have one scho so how is it for the that you have a son and he's he says you see your the guy picks up his s he looks so yeah see he goes yeah I have the same one only difference is mine is full of tears bottom line everything I said to you is all it's all nonsense unless you cry over your kids every day everything I said to you could throw it in the garbage unless you cried to hem every single day without an exception for hem to help you everything is nonsense why at the end it's all I was referring to what's your effort so you don't help asav become asav what's your effort so you don't help asav become asav in reality even had to pray so he doesn't have asav but he had even AB had is it happens we have to if if that happened to them we have to pray double to uh to make sure that we don't at least help them become asav so you have to do all the things that I mentioned to you restricting them giving them a lot of T giving them a lot of love a lot of attention listen at least double the amount you speak especially when they become teenagers and they like to hear themselves talk sometimes they just want you to agree even if you don't agree the point is is that yeah it's very very hard it's not easy it's not but always keep the distance you're always the parent if there's respect if there is the respect where they realize you're the parent and by respect IE fear respect is just another word for fear if they fear you because you're the parent you have a chance of having a little Yakov come out if they don't have respect it's very very difficult now sometimes you're can to have a kid that's outright just he's a good kid good very very smart but it's a troublemaker some are troublemakers some kids like to play with fire they do that's their nature some kids like to play with birds and they want to see what happens when they twist the bird's head off they just want to see some kids like to take the little the the the Grasshoppers and just take off the limbs off the off the grasshopper to see what happens they want to see what happens to does it do you know the shabat says that if you have if you have a uh a grasshopper you should know that after it rains the grasshopper doesn't move when it rains grasshopper doesn't move why it doesn't move Rashi says Rashi says that's because the grasshopper doesn't have any eyelids so becomes blind after there's rain so here we see again that the toah had M scientific knowledge of the Venom of the snakes 2,000 years ago or even the eyelids of grasshoppers 2,000 years ago or n at least 900 years ago at the time of Rashi T has everything but at the same token we have to learn this is some stuff you could teach your kid that's taking off the grasshopper into little pieces you can teach them this stuff but the point is some kids are troublemakers they want to do they want they're experimenting with everything they're experimenting what's going to happen if they throw the rock against glass and the glass happens to be your window uh what's going to happen if they jump into the puddle and they don't really know how deep the puddle is what happens you know the kids experiment don't lose hope because the kids are troublemakers in fact it's quite the opposite many times the talk about themselves when they're children and many times more times than not they were talking about were big troublemakers one child was such a troublemaker that everybody knew him the whole neighborhood knew him at one time this uh this guy decided to saw the kid and decided that he wants to just slap him for no reason T slapped him in the back of the head so little kid smart he was young six seven eight years old smart but he knew he was outmatched this guy's a giant little amalik what is he going to do he like oh here he takes out a coin out of his hand he goes here so the doesn't realize why you giving me a coin go oh you don't know oh this is the this is the Mitzvah of the Jews that if you hit us today is the Mitzvah today is a holiday that any any Jew you hit has to give you all of his money has to give you all of his money so the go is like really keep the change kid he goes and he waits for the richest guy he waits for the richest guy the the big the big Rich Jew in the neighborhood waits for him outside as soon as he's outside T he hits the rich guy the rich guy has bodyguards the bodyguards take the guy start beating the out of him and everything they take him to the court they arrest him the Jud says what are you doing what are you you hitting Rockefeller what's the matter with you he goes what do you mean it's it's the holiday what holiday goes It's the holiday of the Jews that if you hit them they give you all the money and the judge like who told you this goes what do you mean the kid and he says the kid everybody knows the kid yonathan told me yonatan bring yonathan over here the judge says they go find little Jonathan Jonathan happens to happens to be waiting outside the courtroom happens to be oh you guys want me okay he comes he goes yeah I can I help you you need my help and he says to them yeah I can help you and they say you told them that it's a Jewish holiday that if you hit a Jew you give him all the money he goes yes your honor I did why would you say such a thing young man and he says to him well your honor you see this Amal over here he slapped me in the he slapped me in the head for no reason and I knew that if I went to you and I went to the police and I filed a complaint no one's going to listen to me so I knew that the only way I could get your attention as if he hit somebody else first so your honor I'm finally Acclaim he hit me too and this is RIT this is r one of the one of the biggest giants in Amy's history one time these uh pastors Christians used to like messing with them so they came to town and uh they wanted to have a meeting with the now back then they weren't like today the the the Christians weren't like today back then they'd either kill us or they torture us one or the other today they're pretending to be us today the Christians are pretending to be Jews they call themselves Messianic Jews or Jews for Jesus all types of nonsense they're Christians 100% they don't keep anything not even the Ten Commandments but anyway one time that one of these pastors popes whatever it is and uh comes in a room and he sits at the end of a long table like this she's on the other side so the uh Pope says to him tell me what's the difference between a Jew and a dog she says the table the table between us was sharp he was hard sharp and witty but he was so sometimes there's a big in a small body that's what ra says is a big and a small body even ra himself he tells me some of the stories he was a child I said I can't believe it's you go sometimes it's necessary for the little big to be in a small body it's necessary for them to be a big they use all that they use all that strength to become so don't lose hope just because the kids a troublemaker many of them are troublemakers you have to get their attention it's a little more difficult to get their attention but once you do you can make them a big big kids in general have a shorter attention span need constant stimulation need constant attention constant affection in reality it's no different than us adults it's just that they don't pretend like we do there's no falsehood in the kid he's going to tell you outright if he think think something about you so that's it but again all of this stuff is hard very hard to do and even if you do all of it if it's missing a prayer to hasem it's worthless so add all of what we just said add prayer with tears from the mom and the dad and you'll succeed but again remember if there's hypocrisy in the house the whole system breaks if there's no love in the house the whole system breaks if there's no God in the house the whole system breaks every one of these pieces that I told you is a foundation it's not like a another floor it's not this is not a building one floor off top of the other this is all Foundation meaning if one piece is missing the whole thing collapses if the Mom is walking around with a minis skirt don't expect the young kids to be modest if the father is a thief at work don't expect the kids to beik and so on and so forth the whole thing is a foundation everything is a foundation everything is it's a domino effect and this is going to force us to do CH and that's actually one of the one of the prophecies that's going to happen at the end of times before mashia comes the page 49b says that before mashia comes the kids are going to help the parents do Chua the kids are going to help the parents do Chua this is one of the ways any parent that wants their kids not to go through the same difficulty like they did and do cha during their adult life which is extremely difficult will help the child by making sure that they do all of these things and investing into the child when they're kid don't wait for the kid to be 15 before you invest into them I have a few students that did Chua later on in their life once they already have their kids already teenagers very difficult not impossible but very difficult and those cases you have to spend more one-on-one time with them learning together in those cases where the kid's already a teenager pretty much the only thing that's uh going to get their attention is if you learn with them and you're going to make it fun if you're a little par when you learn with them and you're not fun and you're you're boring and it's a you're yelling at them constantly then expect them to hate the tah and you but if you're going to watch a she with them and you write notes and they write notes and you compare notes and you talk about it and that's what you talk about all the time and that's what you get them to talk about you get them in interact interact make it as if this is your thing together then you have a better chance but if they're studying alone and you're studying Alone and You're Expecting both of you to arrive at the same conclusion you're wrong they're 16 and you're uh 46 you don't have the same mind you don't have the same so you have to be more patient with them it works but again without none of this stuff works what else out where is that so when they they're going to ask you sure sure I'm not exp not what we want then they can learn from that but if you never go to no I'm not saying I I exaggerate a little bit in as far as like don't leave the house I generally try not to leave the house but obviously I come here uh and I take care of whatever business I have to go if I have to go to court or I have to go to the doctor or I have to come here or I have to go to Sho I go meaning don't be one of these you know you know those little uh flies that goes everywhere little butterflies that every two seconds they're out of they're always out of the house you're never at home don't be one of those butterflies you're constantly everywhere okay go where you have to go if you have to go to the store go to the store if you have to go to the gas station go to the gas station if you have to go to somewhere go that's not a problem but only go where you have to go first of all second of all is that with the kids also is that you want to teach them so sometimes you want them to be involved in the chores so you bring them to the store with you and when they you see you pay attention to them more than you pay attention to the groceries and you see that something got their attention a half naked woman got their attention the kid that with a uh cross on his neck got their attention or with a certain haircut got their attention you bring that up you say yes that no one ever told them it's not allowed you could tell them after you could tell them then whatever you have obviously you know your kid and you know how he's going to react or she's going to react but you could pinpoint at certain things and teach them from their experiences from paying attention to them of course shopping is now going to take four hours instead of two minutes but that's that's what that's you know what you have to do um so yes you want to build their immune system in a sense by teaching them right and wrong teaching them what is not allowed what is allowed she's wearing that because no one ever told her that she has to wear clothes or no one ever told her that she's supposed to be modest or maybe she doesn't understand what modesty is then you take the opportunity and teach your kid why modesty is a good thing uh and why uh you know the Torah teaches this and no one ever taught some people to lie and you teach them why certain things are not done by other people and you give them an explanation for everything you have to have answers you have to have answers don't ever be one of these parents that says I don't know don't don't be one of those parents that says I don't know because I could tell you there was somebody that somebody that I know very very well that told me one of the reasons why he was never really like he never took the direction of being religious is because he asked his parents questions and they always told him I don't know and to him as a child it didn't make sense when he asked them where there dinosaurs in the Torah he said I don't know I don't think so what do you mean but there's bones in the museum we went in school took them to a museum they saw bones he doesn't know that 99% of the bones are fake he doesn't know 99% of the bones are fake he doesn't know most people most adults don't know 99% of the bones in the museums are fake they found one bone they made the rest of the figure so oh yeah we found a dinosaur what dinosaur you found one bone and uh you found a tree and you made you made pretend like it was a bone and now you painted it white and uh you put 900 other Bones on there and you made a whole because it goes in a movie with you it's fake a lot of these things are fake oh yeah we found uh eight different species for the horse no you didn't that's eight different species none of them are related to the horse it took them 50 years to admit this stuff they had in a museum the gradual uh Evolution from this one thing that looked like a horse which it really was a cat to what is today's horse they said oh it's gradual evolution in reality admit took them 50 years to admit it's all eight different species that work on four so the thing is though is that the kid is gonna ask you these questions if you tell them I don't know I don't know I don't know one too many times he's gonna say no one knows anything everyone's a fool and uh and that's it I'm just going to make up my own mind I'm going to search for my own truth meaning you have to do chuva yourself you have to learn yourself in order to save your kid you cannot walk around empty minded and expect your kids are just going to take your word for it oh God said so where I don't know but he said it somewhere don't be one of those parents I know somebody really well that said literally one of the things he used to ask as a kid where is this where is this how come you don't know and he told he said I don't understand how do these old people you're old you're 30 years old already like 30 years old you're older how do you not know how do you not know cuz for a little kid age his age asking an adult question if you don't know it doesn't sound right to them doesn't make sense that you don't know how do you not know you're like 30 years old to them it's like you might as well say a thousand how do you not know so if you don't know you see you know what son I don't know but let's go learn together turn on that computer turn take the book do something and go find out go learn together good question son Let's Go learn together you have to go learn the kid it's important enough for them these questions that the kids ask could be the difference between life and death because for that kid you think it means nothing he's going to forget it in five minutes you're right he's going to forget it in five minutes but in 10 years from now he's going to remember it again he's going to remember you don't know and once he remembers you don't know ah he probably doesn't know anything I'm going to go out with that non girl then so you have to educate yourself education is critical for all of mankind even more so for a Jew even more so for a Jew so you can't walk around in the world being ignorant than expecting your kids to survive so as far as the part of the reason why you have this education system is because you yourself need to know the difference between right and wrong because yourself are custom making the immune system if you don't know the difference between right and wrong how you going to tell the kid once you know the difference between right and wrong anytime you see something that's wrong you going tell the kid that's wrong we don't do that at home Jewish people don't do this yeah but he's Jewish too yeah he's Jewish that doesn't know he didn't learn the whole Torah he only learned the first couple of pages you learn we learn we do the whole Torah he only does some things we do everything we want to be real you have to teach your kids to want to beik how you want to be a sadik if you want to be a sadik they're going to want to be sadik what do you think it's a coincidence that every uh every uh family that the father's a doctor the son's a doctor also the father's a lawyer the son's a lawyer the father's an insurance salesman son's an insurance salesman or the daughter's an insurance salesman or doctor or lawyer it's not a coincidence kids naturally want to be like their parents every house that has a parent doctor child doctor parent lawyer child lawyer parent accountant child accountant every else if not all the kids then at least one of them if the parent wants to be a sadik kid's going to be one sadik you have to invest you have to invest in yourself you invest in yourself the kids are going to be okay you don't invest in yourself you're putting everything on the L what else no they have to sleep in the in the Sho anyway doesn't make a difference yeah five minutes into the Sho they'll have as sleep go ahead keep asking Al absolutely absolutely there's certain kids absolutely there certain people that need people there's certain people that need friends they need it they need recognition they need socializing they need people to be next to them they need to share emotions share experiences they need friends they have always five six friends they always have uh these dinner parties they always have these guests they need it they have a and then have have two brothers like this that uh they need they need people around them they like it then you have me I'm fine by myself I'm just fine as a matter of fact most of the pain that's been on in my life is because of people uh my relationships with people don't don't end well for me uh they just that's just the way it has been uh doesn't necessarily make me anti people uh obviously I'm doing this for a reason but in general I don't I'm fine if you put me in a cave by myself I'm perfectly fine in fact it's preferred uh and my wife is the same way if we don't have to leave the house for three weeks a month two month forever same thing we were in New York same thing we are in Florida same thing everywhere we both have a very similar personality if we don't have to leave the house like we must must have to leave the house we're not leaving like we have a similar personality where we feel perfectly fine as happy as can be for us a vacation is to be home to be home with each other other little kids now got the books got that's it home perfect some people they can't stand being home they they they they're tortured at home even for sleeping they have to go out they have to go around they have to go shopping they have to go to the mall they have to go to their friend's house they have to go in the street they have to they have to they have to so there's different people different people different uh you know just like you have your fingers all different people are different um my father said this all the time your fingers are different people are different same thing with the kid same thing with the kid so some of the kids are going to need a lot more interaction they have a lot more energy they need a lot more interaction they want to play with other kids and some kids are happy playing by themselves they you give them a little box of Legos they go in a corner three hours solid it's like they just finished the shots they finish the shots they finish the the Lego they're good different people so of course you have to know your kid you have to know your kid there's a uh you know and you have to influence him towards the right direction in both aspects on one hand you don't want necessarily the kid that's antisocial where as soon as somebody comes next to him he starts flipping out because he's been alone in a cave for the first six years of his life so the first person he ever saw he thinks it's like a he's trying to attack him you can't have one of these kids that and make the kid think it's okay that no one's allowed to touch their stuff because if the kid is too into himself he becomes antisocial and it becomes dangerous dangerous for his person personality where anytime somebody else wants to interact with them he starts attacking them because he doesn't understand what why they want to why are they here why are they touching my stuff they just want to play with you why do they want to play with me because you have enabled his personality in a negative way so you can have the kid be too into themselves because then they can have character flaws as they grow up makes it very difficult for them to get married makes it very difficult for them to work makes it very difficult for them to to to to be around the world so I prefer to be by myself by choice I don't have to be you guys are all next to me I'm fine I'm not flipping out you know I like people you guys say you know talk to me for 5 hours after the sh I'm not telling you guys listen I already had overdose of you or anything I'm perfectly fine with people it's a choice it's not a it's not a it's not a flaw where like I'm like uh allergic some people are allergic some people must are very very antisocial where they feel uncomfortable in the presence of other people they start acting weird saying weird things being weird they start doing things just to get attention just to see what happens there's one guy that once in a while comes to the Shure he always asks about so about uh about um what is it uh serial killers he just met the guy he goes so what do you think about serial killers you just met the guy and he's already asking you about what do you think about serial killers immediately and not a normal person thinks you're a serial killer you're going You're trying to kill me now aren't you yeah you're a sick you're going to try to kill I have to get out of here I have to get out of SOS SOS SOS s got to go R your own good for gotta go yes's dangerous buddy yesu is dangerous some people are dangerous to themselves this so you can't enable them they're antisocial and by making them like that you're enabling them same thing on the opposite the guy's extra social and you always make sure there's 87 people in the house that's not good either why because life is not like that people are are not always going to be there for you they're going to let you down they're going to be busy they're going to move on they're GNA die they're gonna whatever move things are going to happen you can't get the kid used to always having people around them so you have to know your child you have to know where they stand you have to know little this little that balance balance that's why you're the adult they're the child you have to have balance and again it's it's easier said than done but nonetheless you have to do it but this all of it as far as all of these uh things is by paying you're going to know them by paying attention to the kid you see what moves him you see what moves her see what influences them what influences her you see it you see the kid you see that when they uh when they're around other kids they bloom or they become a little hermit you see you see how they are see once there's kids in the house or the kids in the playroom he goes in the corner he's hiding okay I get it well he's shy and if he stays that way then you realize okay this is a personality issue I have to work on this I have to get him used to being more social if it's just in the beginning because he's shy and then later on he starts playing with the friends that's fine it's a normal thing it's a normal thing but that's where you have to pay attention you can't go and drop them off at somebody's house play date baby consider and you have no idea whether your kid's good or bad or he hit everyone or he didn't hit everyone you can't be one of those you can't be a a parent on autopilot parenting is not an autopilot sport you have to pay attention to your kids and a lot of the times that kids go off the whether in a secular world where they go into drugs and violence and so on or in the uh religious world where they go into drugs and violence and the like um it's sometimes not all the time sometimes it's simply because they didn't get enough love at home they didn't get enough attention at home um and love doesn't mean muchi muchi muchi every two seconds you hug oh I love you I love that doesn't mean love love means you listen to them you listen to what's what's on your mind why you down why you crying why are you moody why the long face why why like talk to them and takes time takes time so it's uh patience is a must and uh good wife is a must and patience is a must what else parents were divorced parents that are competing for a child's affection simply hate the child parents that are competing for a child's affection simply hate the child because they like it themselves too much once you take yourself first and you care more about how you feel and how the child makes you feel that means you care less about the kid that means you care too much about taking revenge against your former spouse because he or she wasn't the perfect spouse and was so bad you had to leave them after X amount of years and now all you're doing is you've already made enough bad choices now all you're doing is torturing the kid for it the kid's already tortured that he's coming from a broken home to torture him even more because he doesn't love you as much as you think you should be loved or he's not paying attention to you as much as you should be paid attention to is completely unfair why are you torturing the kid now of course sometimes this is subconsciously and unconsciously people do this without realizing they think that their way is better than the husband way is better than the wife's way he's a he's a he's aad sadik you know everybody thinks their way is different again if the people have done chuv themselves then they'll know exactly what to do they'll know exactly what to do they'll know that in reality in this world today in this generation to Simply have a kid keep Shabbat is already plenty is already more than enough it's already if you have your kid keeping basic level keep shabat keep keep keep the basic minimum he's already showing you more than enough love more than enough love just by keeping those basic level me but you want on top of that you could destroy the kid you could destroy the kid so yeah parents need to understand that kids that have their own personalities they have their own mind if you give them a reason to love you they'll love you regardless of what the the opposing parent is doing if you give them a reason to hate you they'll hate you regardless of what the opposing parent is doing you don't need to fight for it there's no need to fight for it it's just a uh you have to make sure that simply the kid fight for them first meaning fight for them to have a good to do good things once you do that half the battle is already won even if your relationship is hurt through the divorce because the kid chose the other side for whatever reason or another if you spent enough time to make sure the kid stays with to eventually they're going to come back anyway assuming that you're on the assuming that you're okay but if you did chuva only after or they didn't learn to Li in your house don't expect them to hate you don't expect them to like you expect them to hate you you know so I mean it's a again I mean you made your bed you're going to sleep in it it's uh it's a sad situation but uh that's why in in Judaism it's not so easy to get a divorce you know the the the the raban is not so quick to give people a get they try multiple times to influence the parents to work out their problems there's only uh one particular issue where they say it's a get almost immediately almost immediately which is if the wife refuses to go to a mik if the wife refused to go to a mikve in many cases it's an automatic get it's an automatic divorce why because without being intimate there's no marriage even if it's a uh they already have kids doesn't make a difference without intimacy there is no marriage even if they weren't active to begin with and all the all the excuses you give under the sun doesn't make a difference without a mik there's no marriage you're only roommates Judaism doesn't look for roommates Torah doesn't look for roommates looks for husband and wife other than that everything else you could work out if she violates Shabbat if he violates Shabbat if uh they don't learn tah she doesn't learn tah and so on everything else you could work out to a certain amount of time not forever not in perpetuity for a certain amount of time they give oh try for another month try for another six months try for another year a certain amount of time but if a woman does not keep modesty by not covering her hair with a or does not cook kosher food for a husband or does not go to the mik these are three reasons of why the says you can find a divorce with a g with a without paying her the uh theba but even the first two as far as koser food and modesty you give her time to do cha with mik usually in most cases not all cases in most cases that's no time she doesn't want to go to m right no marriage but of course the rabbi that knows a student will tell him wait or not wait like uh there's a famous that had to wait five years for his wife to do CH but his Rabbi knew that he could wait he could wait and she was worth it and he ended up waiting and she was worth it but this is not common advice common advice is usually divorce right away cuz they know that most people can't can't wait most men can't wait next yeah people ing mind espe children good sometimes they have those questions but they don't address their parents because they're not sometimes comfortable to as their parents but still they go out there and for these you know answers so is there like a like age group where parents should approach their children or is there a method that you know you know the you know put in place like should approach them age and how it's done if very good question is there an age to teach certain things and I'm assuming you're talking about sex I'm assuming you're talking about things related to the uncomfortable stuff that no parent wants to talk about t t also means also means instructions in instructions to live instructions to succeed in business in marriage in raising children in everything in life if you remember I said earlier that hasem is so perfect that anything he created has a signature on it the tah has a signature init beginning of the Torah if you look at the first verse in the tah first verse in the tah the first three words saying Keim because I'm repeating it the last letter of each one of the words spells the word emit emit meaning truth that's the signature of God so one of the other signatures of God is that the Torah as I mentioned to you before does not change based on age group the same Kash is taught to the sixy olds the seveny old year olds the eighty olds and the 80 year olds everyone learns the same sh yet the six-year-old the seveny old and the eight-year-old are going to be able to learn and absorb one specific thing from that Torah whereas the 80-year-old that's been learning it already for over 70 years is going to be able the same PUK the same verse the same Rashi the same everything his n is going to be able to understand something else now the beauty of the Torah is that hasem is going to teach you the instructions for everything throughout the entire tanak so parts of the tanak will deal with business parts of the tanak will deal with the laws of intimacy parts of the tanak is going to deal with the laws of stealing between God and man between man and man and so on and so forth meaning that through this stories through the laws of the Torah You Are by default going to be able to teach your child these things and every year you're going to be able to teach them the same thing but just a little bit more why just a little bit more because it's the same thing he or she is going to be able to understand just a little bit more when you're talking about a zav or a Zava or B or betah or all of these things and ask who's this s oh it's a wayward woman who's this Wayward woman what' she do oh she cheated on her husband or how'd she cheat what she cheat on Monopoly how'd she cheat if your house is full of Tora he's going to understand how she cheated she went with another man she had two husbands oh not allow two husbands he doesn't necessarily need to understand at six years old what she does with a husband all he needs to understand is that two husbands no good and that's what he understand that's good enough him at seven something else at 8 something else so the same T is instructions for you at 30 same thing for the one at 8 and 9 and 10 and so on so if you do not censor the Tora that hasem gave us you're not going to have to ask those questions of when should I teach them why because the t is going to do it for you the Tor is going to do it for you through the Paras through the commentary through the sages through himself in fact you yourself will learn certain things you yourself are going to learn certain things about all these things and you understand why when hem says that I put my sign it wasn't just to to look cool so show you that with every every I'm showing you I did this I did this why because that par is relevant to you now 3,300 years after I wrote it 5,700 years after I wrote it 3,3 energ is after I gave it to 578 78 years after I wrote it already or before point is is that a person needs to know person needs to know that knows your troubles and that's why he gave you the Torah because that's the instruction to fix him that's the instruction to fix him he wrote the tah with black fire on White Fire 974 Generations before he created the world with this in mind with this in mind the fact that you are going to have to teach your kids subjects you're not comfortable teaching them especially when it comes to arot which is a problem that the rambam says is in every human in every family in every neighborhood in every Kaa in every community in everywhere arot is everywhere every Community has an immodest woman every Community has a prostitute every Community has a no every Community has someone cheating every Community has this he says every Community it's not like oh no no you're only goingon to find it in Miami no you're also GNA find it at B you're also GNA find y you're also going to find it everywhere that's why he gave us the D that's why he gave us so we can fix it so we're not part of it but the problem exists the problem exists we're not hiding from it the questions are there we have answers next we'll have a another sh on Tuesday night uh the breast of and uh will continue our series at that time amen amen [Music] [Applause] [Music]