Weddings "Sof Chodesh". The Origins and History

[Music] welcome back Rabbi Dr elzar brat it is a pleasure to be with you once again very nice to see you last week in person thank you for coming all the way toim for the grand CM on sasham with Rabbi Resnik we had two beautiful suum last week in ER Isel one Rabbi Rosner in bees and a second one with Rabbi Resnik in yush check them out go to the old Da app and website you should be able to find both of those Yim recorded so last episode Rabbi dror brought the one before we went through the we were discussing what day could a person get married we talked about getting married on Friday so even though we start above a CA we're going to dip back one more time into Sash and do an episode on what time or what days of the month could a person get married those who might beish may have a minut not to get married second half of the month we'll talk about that and some other interesting stories and anecdotes regarding getting married during different times of the month different times of the year BR how are you today okay so we want to again thank an anonymous sponsor Anonymous sponsor um who has very generously dedicated this Shear this discussion and we hope it will be his for him and everybody else in need during these times so BR what do you have okay so basically like this the as you said there's a minig and we're going to discuss the or the sources for this Min and discussion all about it is some people only get married in the first half of the month whereas the second half the month they don't get married now like everything else there's a topic a ton has been written about when I began I did not realize how much could even be written about it and the ramifications of it and I hope to touch on some of it today as I like to just point out in the beginning of um Su thisum there's a lot of information out there I'm not trying to accomplish and say everything but the most spectacular collection of material discussion can be found in the classic work this um and we'll get to discussing a little bit more about that the famous work the set of volumes massive volumes collecting truis literature onar has a lot of material on this more recently RAB learner and his and most recently in his has a very nice piece all these materials helped me but there's a lot more to add to them some of it will be discussed today okay now so first when one opens up to in azzar the ra says these these words Vu we're going to see as a key words to keep in mind one should not get married only when in the beginning of the month while the is full now in the parentheses over here in the you'll find it says the and says now number one the which we already mentioned on ezar was only published in our generation a few years back by it brings down that the source of this R is the ran which we're going to discuss and based on the B okay now number one piece of information is then general not so well known but these parentheses are mostly na from the Rama and thus it's not necessarily K read so much into parentheses you have to be very careful imbal has a whole nice article which he published in yesh a few years back fine now but if you do go to you'll find that the says which will get to mean explaining what those words mean so we see that the already talks about in okay says the over there to start then if it's something that's against you should not rely on but then the says don't seek this out again where the pry say TR ran now looking in the dark you find again ramban and there it's not what's going on here so without getting into great over here a lot of people bring it um the question is which it seems they they is the real Source because way back it was it happens to be today we have a it's also but there's a whole discussion behind this and this is a way had identify the sources of great of in the early generation such as the and the mar that they sometimes relied on the their libraries were the and the way the had was the but this is a boring discussion after for now okay now but what's going on of here do you does one have to be careful about it n you could read it again translating is always a key thing some people have a minut not to get married but is it is no and what's the reason behind it anyway so just to keep in mind is a in which says I'm going with the translation of Kaplan do not act on the basis of Omens do not act on the basis of auspicious times which means astrology so we know this is basically this is what deals with magic and signs and all types of stuff now what's the source and what's the reasoning behind this so the ran was mistak attributed to the Raj but brings it down that's how had it and that's how most people there's a ton of TR literature they had this ramban and the question is going to be how to understand the ramban and to be M as we know ramban one of the greatest in every word and we're not going to do every single aspect today but but in the course of a massive piece of his a TR ran we don't have that many tras that survive but it basically says it's not a problem of and then the ra says they would do of a king on By the Waters too they did this the was done only in the part of the month when the moon is full it's a and then he goes therefore further on in the piece he says um now so question is but is it should you do it or not so then he says which I said we're going to get to explaining what that means shortly then he says then he says not to do it CH M it's not a m to observe and to be so concerned about it just if you want to know is there a problem of Nik no and in this the Su of Nik which there's a ton of literature about there's something known as something if it's done for for a good Simon then it's not a problem so this is done as a good Simon there's some type of thing that in the that the certain period of the time the moon the T and the masle and all these types of stuff fine so now the now who brings this down but if you stop over here and you go back to the when the so it's turning out when you look in the which we know when you learn you're not supposed to just learn there's a CH or the that's what we brought with the Rama or or the it's not so simple the ran doesn't say not to the ramban just says that if one does it because they're concerned for whatever reason it's not a problem of it's aim but not that one has to so it it sounds like there's a there's a very big shift in what's happening over here if you look in the ran as quoted by the whereas when it gets to the r and the M what's happening it SS more that you're supposed to and as I said the key words is going to be very important shortly now I said that there older had to learn the ramb very carefully R ran where thean already had these this um which Our Generation got these few blot with this piece on Sedin to the actual material of RA but already early one of the earliest had many manuscripts he had this and there's we said already and there's all these materials we're not going through um because this will be way too time consuming but incredible he also brings down this R says it his is not that to do it any okay so he has a piece where he talks about which we'll get to shortly but he says he's talking about and then he brings in all the then he says people it's a s he's playing it down we know we bring certain foods everyone eats all these it's a it's not a problem of which is a whole massive discussion not for now but the point is he's not saying that you have to do it he's coming to explain as a defense for that it's not a problem then a basically the point is that if you're doing it with the major because you're scared and everything then then it is possibly a problematic like okay was asked about this about it and he says he says says call um to have this so he says so therefore people when they're getting married um it's it's not a problem of it's a Simon similar to what he gives us an example or by we do it's a not to not to build into this too much says to push off and not do it let's say to wait another mon month okay now now in general obviously the topic of is a massive we even have we might get to talking about it more about but the point is already is's a group of that take it very serious and a group of that say no there's no such thing behind ma one of the early m before the r even so he was we we actually mentioned him a little bit in the suus of dat lines and in and all these different um astrology astronomy he was a big expert and he was a trem in the DAT laa his stuff that he said was very n so it turns out there was a a letter that was published from manuscript about 100 years ago a little more where he wrote to and they discussing it seems there was a planned on a Friday and all of a sudden it came to a certain period of time and and the Shila he's it got pushed off and the Shila was at a certain hour if there's a problem of because at that time there's a problem with Ma so he ends up writing because of that he gave his this and the point was that this goes back to the first topic which we're going to return to shortly momentarily about our topic of marrying on Fridays we see there was even a sh and he was pushing it off handling it because of so he has a whole behind the Su of what's known as astrology but that's what um that's what he says over here hold on one second now but the ra is very very famous for in a massive letter of his a beautiful letter K to read where he talks about that there's nothing behind astrology it's terrible there's no there's nothing behind it don't be scared of it and it's nothing says he went through the there's nothing behind it just to point out art SC recently did a tremendous job translating various materials of the rambam hopefully they're going to continue with V with publishing more materials of the rambam so one could see they did a beautiful job translating this letter of the rambam with materials in the back about it where they have AUM of some other about okay now what is this does this play out in answer is definitely does number one which I'm very fond of which is about sleeping on shash everyone knows you're not supposed to sleep on during the day why says the because your ma is going to sleep whatever that means so therefore he brings which we don't have whatever the story is another thing this is a a topic you probably are familiar with they I think are about this um about this also with making KES on Friday night and which hour do you make KES on Friday night B possibly how you understand again it's t in the power of Ma at this time okay people know with the brings down from says not to be mtic but again we see ma playing out and there's many other examples now in this that we mentioned the M talks about says also something called what does it mean so should know that for many people even didn't even know what abbreviation B and whatever they had to me explain what it means it turns out we don't start on Mondays or Wednesdays and what's the whole story behind this so it's again this is mish in the same with the ma that we're speaking out from this same ramban the ramban brings down over here um when he's talking about the is the same thing if you could if it's a or if you're taking it very seriously then it's more of a problem now what's the story behind we're not going to go into just to mention has a massive AR about it tracing various early makus and then to mention a incredible Schneider in a also has a nice about it and it really we're gonna see it plays out into our now but the point is um that in the which is putting them together and not only that the ran has them in the same thing when he's explaining it and he's talking about it so there which we actually mentioned very briefly when we spoke about if you could learn says that there's a that for then there's no such one does not have to be concerned to start on a Monday start on a Wednesday the only concern was okay but even if there is a concern I'm saying okay fine interestingly enough there's a moral and chabas which seems to say that normally you might be for things that are um aspect since it's so then there's no of or of getting of pushing off the to do it only in the first half of the month okay now interestingly enough the gr so the gr turns this brings cabalistic makis from the from various pieces in the to to give makus for both these Halas of and um the the marriage aspect I don't understand anything about this inan so I'm not going through it but others try to explain a little bit but in a different piece in the B he downplays it completely over there Ina he brings down a few different garas night things that he says they're all done for a Simon and that's why it's it's and he even to the thing we spoke about originally the first year of these three which was getting married on Wednesday it's a bra the BR of do was on okay now we're going to get back to understanding a little bit more about this soon but interestingly enough says that the taka his son got married in the second half of the month me say was not concerned with this so even though he brings some type of from okay now when I began these um this series which is basically two other episodes before this I began with AA what happened like this the mishna talks about which day is one supposed to get married and the mishna says Wednesday is the day one's supposed to get married so I already pointed out that the has a dealing with it and he says interesting people are so nervous about different about when to get M but he says people bring down there's no from the say people don't care about the da to get married on which is a mish which is a which is a so me to say is looking at it if you have a if even even when you're concerned with a Simon go for something that is a in thear Okay now what's going on with this ra what's and already pointed that there's a if you really look at this very carefully there's even a St what's the St so like this basically a lot of times when you learn they could pull out the great that we had they pull out some different places and they could show that it's not so simp the story is not so simple they like to make life complicated as they say so look looking in it says there's a known Min we don't get married after so ask what are you talking about you can't get married after that period of time anyway because of the or the there's no why does even have to mention it and okay so obviously very interesting um okay point two is a different everyone knows you could get married when is what is the what does the say that one could get married what do you mean you could get married how could you get married is this issue of the Rama and now so right away we're not g to go into all the different things there's all different hand in later which month certain months might be different than other months okay possibly there is M for such a thing okay now but the one of the great which we will be devoting a whole episode to him is so one of the classic works that he wrote on is known as the however you want to call it so it also has his notes on over there what does he say he points out notice the words what's this word so he points to the the so he says like this brings down while they're talking about if you make not mther but the other Dal do one does want make a or in TR about it and in there the r talks about his language when he wrote his safer and he says like this when I say and I don't say there's a big difference that that's the what comes out from this which is BAS on made it his business throughout his work to bring down every TR that was important relating to somehow many of the TR so already with that's how you can answer it up that when the when when it says the in in evanz over here about the getting married and the second half the month is not saying that one has to as I said if you open up the Raman which is the marar it doesn't say one has to it says if you do if you're mockit about it you're not going to have a worry about why not because you're doing it just for a so that's not a problem especially if you go with let's say with theal and others that that it's it's a special heter over here for these type of things when at night but in general is the ra couraging one to do it no if he was he would not have used the he would have used the that's what based on we're going to see more about it two minutes so a f he has a about it he also says such a thing he the and he because he also was bothered by this thing and he rather goes with the which was that um you know when you're having a choice of picking which sigul so to speak should you pick definitely pick something that's mentioned the gar okay we're going to fast forward I'm going to come back to the rest is like this I said the has over here so in general theed he's born 1832 till 1904 great writes this encyclopedic work called now he's so he's in close contact with the VAR but he's also in contact with tons of even that no one knows anything about how this happened how he was it's it's incredible what the story behind this work is but he quotes on tons of topics but it's not only that he quotes and stuff how did he have in these for places that he lived all these far and then he was in contact with them and he's getting tras back and forth so the was a very big is a big entry in his one so nice amount of material in one volume of his but but this topic for some reason was very interesting to him and he was in contact with different and he was getting letters about it and he wrote about it even before he published his his he published an article I don't know how many articles he published one of them was in a journal a journal interesting Journal called he publishes a whole article and the whole deal is about this and he basically does come out again that it's a serious thing one should be mockit about it now it seems that there's all different aspects pages in The about with all the different and different things we're not going to go through it obviously but at one point interestingly there's it seems there was an article written in the Hat news paper and this article he doesn't even say who the person was this person basically was suggesting that this this Mish no for this Min based on his way he understood AAR and the piece ofar um and then this person concludes at the end of his article this whole and but he goes even further this year this which I'm going to see in a moment and he says based on the words N and the garus we see obviously it's not meant to be done it's just that did it so Ra's bringing down a minute that people did now so the over here goes by not to rely on newspaper articles and just because someone does it you know any Joe schoke could write their article and their opinions it has to be checked he has a whole about relying on stuff found the newspapers he doesn't tell you who this person is this person was obviously a very interesting yid his name was yov rman we're not going to go into discussing his fascinating interesting history maybe a different time but anyway the point is this over here has a mass of dealing with all aspects of but the problem is we already just said himself says this CL now turns out is aanus which knew about about it and I said this he was updating a saer so he wrote about in one place and and then as wrot he wrote a journal article about it then he updates it in the later version of but not all the pieces are found sometimes when you're reading a piece they'll say over there then you go there and you won't find it so whatever it is the the the point is like this there's a garus that says when it says the following words there's one is one type of thing sometimes it says and then there's a different which is now then thear explains when it says then it says when the person who says we do what does that mean we and then the says so what is the words it means we do not teach this publicly it goes Case by case means to say we do not even teach this to individuals if one acts like that it's okay so mean to say like this what they what everyone points out from this gar is that when it says that um when it says it does not mean that that's the as rashash we already spoke about that whereas if it says that means so now going so this language that's also even by even as far as by the so this is a massive conversation whenever you want whenever you find and what the word there's differences that's what's coming out from here massive in an article published in all about this which means is because just because you find something that they did it doesn't mean that that's the but it comes out over here that when it says it does not mean that youan is supposed to do it it means to do it so now if we go back to our when the says or says it in the he doesn't mean you should do it it means start to do it and ra said you want to know if there's a problem of to do it say there but not that you have to do it so this is mish a game changer and how to understand what the words means it it changes Mish goes from either it's a mish a real serious thing to a not serious thing anyway brings down this okay we're not going to go through all the pro dealing with all different what he really means with all these different things this is way before there was all these search engines crazy his hisas his everything okay going further on but what's going on over here I said there was tons of literature about it there's tons of tras about it each person brings up different things some of the some of the RI that we just discussed already so there's a l he once devoted an episode to to the so I mentioned at the time he one of the things is that he had a journal he publishes in 1854 an article from a at the time who has great difficulty understanding the ran what's going on and already then writes a whole article to explain the r and the ran when he says to say it's a whole he even had to understand this R in what part of the month what does mean deals with this and then he later on publishes it in a chuva but it was already a article in his journal now I just I'm I'm gonna go um one more chuva one main more chuva and then we're gonna go um okay the chuva is like this rad has a fascinating Chua on the topic and he also goes with this that I'm saying that it's not such a big deal he says so he also goes with the same and that's why the and interestingly enough he says that's why the only brings it down and he doesn't even bring it down in the brings it there again and then he says not only that he says there's no remas in the gar for such ating so it's not a big deal to do it but then he says I even that it's clear like the way we're learning which is that it's not a big deal how do we know there's a in we know falls down the second half of the month what's even the de why should there be a what do you mean like this thing they only got married in the first half of the month there shouldn't even be a discussion says the never knew about this minute so the point is that according to he's over here he brings the r from um the H of the getting married in yav the same R and he basically says according to that it's you don't it's not the is not telling you have to do it okay fine he to the talking about ITV he talks about and he has some other Nas very interesting Nas over here but the point is then he which is a lot of times the the guy is um 20 years old or even older so then it's POS not to wait anything every minute counts and whatever things that are going on with it's much more important to get married as soon as possible so then it everything else um um goes away okay he says about it based on the okay very good so we see here also taking a very um he was one of the great greatest Hungarian after the someone that some people if you asked if you went over to a good Hungarian Y and they said what do you think says on the they would say of course he holds to get married after in the second half of the month and here you see completely different okay fine now just to mention a few ideas briefly and then we'll get to the to the end basically like this The Story Goes Like This there's as I said numerous numerous Tris I can't go through all them just to mention has a beautiful has a and his is built he's also one of the great Hungarian he goes through and he argues on various points okay who I've mentioned a bunch of times in recent times has two chis were published from manuscript recently also about it he's more I think Mel and but he deals with it also on a different aspect which is trying to understand what's behind it that people do this this is to in the relates to the meaning of Tash kaparis these are minhag that they require their own he interestingly says there's no problem this aspect whatever the ma are is it's not an issue as far back as Italy it seems in some people in Italy were scared about it in my sa I'm very very fond of the from 1707 also from the Germans seems that people were concerned with it and since we don't always get the quote from such a safer in such a in such a context the so everyone knows him for being a yid that wrote the historical incredible work based on his incredible udus and the battling the masum in its own right but he has letters and letters in general are fascinating so M cook published a whole volume of letters of his a manuscript and someone asked him this question what do you hold about getting married in this period of time z um so he basically says it's a Min people that were mockit about it yeah but the r is not saying again the same that was saying all time and he says if you look carefully at the ra and and everything the whole point is not that you have to do it and especially in places that don't do it and someone basically was asking about getting married at a specific time he said don't worry you could get married it's not a problem Rus also said um has a piece in where he also says even though yes there's an inion behind it but don't get so nervous about it okay now just to quote two you have to have on the other side so the other side one is if he brings down yes possibly not but it's he really goes with that it's a very serious thing and one should be nervous about it shockingly is I found the following from it's quoted a lot um in different there must be some other pieces of about it but in is a footnote and he says interesting L which plays a role in general which needs a lot more clarification he talks about it someone asked him about the gr and he says yeah the gr but then he says it's good the he seems to be taking it that something is up once it's in the and bringing it down it already has some type of weight which is very interesting it's not something um um requires if there are other things sh says such a thing we see him m is going um taking it much more serious okay um one three more Yas about this and that's we'll finish up and that's as FS number one so brings down the again inzar and then he says as F if you look in the more recent Farm they also bring down other there's other Mar claims that go with this thing but then he says if that's in the gar and it we don't we see every no's doing it so don't so don't go crazy about this then he says and he says it's just so we see again this is how they constantly look at what goes on in the Gar so now we're going to close out with one last Mar and through this marak we'll sum up what we did in these sh also that is Raa Feinstein Raa Feinstein is going to go similarly with this last Raa Feinstein was asked when the the previous episode we discussed what is the place one should get married could one get married in a SOA was asked so we brought down in last episode that Suddenly at a certain point in time it becomes very serious according to a lot of people not to get married in a getting a in is problematic but the problem is we showed and the Rama brought down even shame mins to get married under the stars the problem was we pointed out then the ra it sounds like taks so what's going on in shs not in shs make up your mind so we had a way how to understand the where he says about getting married in shs and really you should get married under the stars now SOA was asked a was was told if he do basically a was was nervous that he's going to get fired they wanted him to be mad in a Sho so the guy was nervous they told him if he don't show up you're gonna get fired SOA was like what's the story is the guy should he should he be be M he's have to be in a SOA said could what the answer is like this say OFA that this whole concept of a under the sky is a it's not he's not gonna [Music] consider based on which was the first year that we spoke about that what yes it's but it's not it's not AAR and not only that he holds he has to because A's job is to make sure the is done properly so you see over here learning all what are you talking about this is not there's no gar for this he's show he's also obviously learning up to ra what about so to recap over here to understand a little bit more and I'm going to explain what says with theer basically and this is how we'll conclude number one we gave the the first year I I had no idea when I began this that there's any connection between these three topics I was thinking of topics to speak about that relate to possible interesting things I came up with these three ideas turns out that Beyond T is surpris you how endless and deep it is and turns out they M all related the first Su which we spoke about was was about getting which day of the week to get married so if you learned the garas of the first sugus andas it sounds like this's a specific day one should get married Wednesday and then there's even aspect and it might be aspects with bezin and all these things and then even is a there's even a br so to speak the things that people care about we brought in the already then and AR is also saying they're not Lea they're nice things and they're gamar things turns out at some point in time which we traced a little bit it switches and people got married Friday not only that we have the whole story with raama had to marry someone off on chabas turns out even on Friday KAS there's even aspect that one could marry with music played by a guy so we see that all of a sudden something shifts so there was a schoola from the gamar and go as the plua says goes away people don't care about it the second Shear which we discussed was we are to get married so we mentioned some people said in the should be outside but there's no early M for it we pointed out not only that it turns out over here in this tra brings if you look in the rashan me to say where did they make the indoors in times of and he says we brought in the we spoke about the last episode says that has to be that the that the mar Min who's the the has to be his coming from the says ra what are you talking about it's not it's not so and the point is that why had to do what he did and changes the mining so we said when you look here from the doesn't spell it out but the is the cause of Reform so what happened is a Min the the original original Min according to over here was when did they do it and where did they do it indoors and in shools not only that what people don't realizes is one of the only people that explains why one should do it indoors because in there's earlier M there's a I think it's in the maybe that St brings down and K bring down but that that says this already buter who everyone uses him to say against having a in because has a whole understand the that we spoke about versus the mar andus and everything like that no says the what's his name um he comes up with the whole thing and and the point is not only that brings in but he doesn't make a big deal about ITA says it's clear that was what's going on says does not play a role in getting married people want to know today in America could you get married in it's not powerful enough that people do it in the churches it's not like them so so this gets into a whole sh of what is anyway do you go according to shes what do you mean where the where the Christians ding you going say you can't d a sh either SOA goes with he Mish going against thiser but it's interesting like thiser is aware that he's doing something interesting over here and how he's learning the ra but point is without going any further just to conclude is like this there's three independent sugas and they're all related and this there's it that's what it turns out they're all related and if you go with the of Raa backwards from Hungry which we know by by the schs he was very that you cannot do it in a but over here and the point is how to learn up when it says n does not necessar you have to keep in mind this it does not necessarily mean that that that's what one is supposed to do it means that people did it and is explaining why it's not a problem but not that one has to do it so one does not have to get married in the first half of the month that's what comes out according to this there's a strong mum for people to get married in the second half of the month yes there are p and there's more truths that we didn't mention that say one should not get married in the second half of the month but that this concludes our episodes on for now and um some of the stories behind it in okay wow lots and lots of information and I'm sure as you say you could continue down this Rabbit Hole very very far but as you also say you have Rus and you'll hold off for now correct correct correct rman on my Rob always says there's a of on on the listening to your speech also absolutely and uh you have to be on that exactly exactly okay you wanna pull out a safer I give a brief uh book review so we'll do something very quickly I just on the spot it didn't prepare but I just see I'm looking to the we spoke about the so I'm going to talk about that the his life is obviously fascinating so about 20 years ago a book came out called and this is his in mapping out his life which we said he's born in the early 1830s discussing what's interesting over here is here we have aard God who ends up being a r in different places until he gets back to Isel having close contact tons and T dozens of letters plenty others Berlin others his work from and he puts out this this encyclopedic work that has tremendous tremendous impact so this m is called sh so interestingly enough this is a Hungarian M and we're talking about Hungarian things they published this book on I don't know if they publish any other books on or even L people maybe they did but mostly Hungarian they also published two volumes of that they collected from all different places so if one wants to learn all about to Sayed here is a great place to learn about him okay thank you very much and looking forward to hearing from you again very soon thank you again for the sponsors anybody would like to sponsor an episode please reach out to myself sched m.org or elzer gmail.com questions comments feedback criticism all that is welcome in any form thank you very much