Vayechi: Trying My Best

Dear friends, welcome to this week's virtual dasha. This week we have the incredible privilege of parish and complete safe and bracious and the parish is filled with so many incredible and beautiful exchanges. Remember just last week's para the family of Yakavinu was finally reunited after more than two decades of separation. Yakavinu has the privilege to live out his final years surrounded by his entire Mishbah. The brothers reestablish a sense of brotherly love and harmony. And the para also contains a number of dramatic just conversations between Yakov and Yseph. It starts first when Yakov tells Yoseph, I'm going to die soon and when I die, I want you to bury me in Eriskan. And even though again in the city of even though I buried your mother by the side of the road, I'm asking you to take me back to our ancestral family plot. And then right after that [clears throat] the Torah records a very strange exchange. The Torah says this is in chapter 48 verse9 saw the sons of Yseph and he said who are these kids? Who are these kids? Said to his sons, these are my sons that Hashem has given me in this bring them to me and I will bless them. And the are incredibly strange. What do you mean that Jacob is asking Yseph, who are these boys, your sons? Remember the para began has been living in for 17 years. He knows his grandsons well. Kazal go into great lengths to teach us the beautiful relationship that existed between Yakov and the sons of Yseph and Yakov's grandsons Manasha and Ephraim. Again, of course, you know the story of the dramatic story later on where he switches his hands and essentially says that Ephraim, the younger one is going to become greater than than Masha. What do you mean a who are they? How how could he be asking who his grandsons are when he knows exactly who they are? And Rashadesh says something very interesting. Rashi says that Ma was going to something different. Rashi says Jacob was getting ready to bless his grandsons and suddenly ultimately the removed the divine presence removed itself from to the point that Jacob was unable to convey. Why? What happened? So according to Rashi something amazing happened that saw prophetically that man and Ephraim would have some less than pious descendants. Rashi says Ephraim would have descendants by the name of and who again were kings over but unfortunately again individuals who did not follow the ways of Hashem and introduced much corruption and idolatry. of Mimash. Nasha would also have his share of unscrupulous unfortunately idolatrous offspring. So Yakov is getting ready to bless his grandsons and then he sees that they're going to have this less than pious progeny and suddenly again he can't bless them. So he says to me the who are these boys or who is this is not going it's going on their offspring. Yakov sees the offspring, the unfortunately less than pious offspring, and he says, "Oh my gosh, who are these people? Who are these future generations? I can't bless." To which Yoseph responds, they're my sons. They're my sons that has given me with this. What's the this says that Yseph took out the marriage documents. you know he married and he took out the marriage documents and the and father listen I married my wife in the proper legal way I married my wife with the proper documentation this is my wife it's a legitimate marriage maybe you think that this offspring is due to something illicit that I've done it's a proper marriage it's a proper home you know I've I've done I've done what I'm supposed to do and therefore says fine bring them to me and I will bless them even with rashi it's hard to understand what's happening and says something incredibly beautiful. He says to Yoseph, Yoseph, I can't give your sons Abra I can't. I can't. After all, why could I bless your sons when I see their progeny? Literally Russian is very strong over here. Jacob says to Yoseph, I see that your sons are going to have descendants who are going to be the word Russia is a very strong word and I I hesitate to use it by by any Jew, but just we'll tre the is saying they're going to have children who are going to be evil who are going to be evil. So Yakov says, "I'm sorry. I can't bless your sons. They're going to have evil progeny." And Aman says, Yoseph says back to his father, "Father, what would you like me to do? What would you like me to do? I was sold. Now says whether you know whether whether or not Jacobu knew exactly what happened to Yoseph and how he got down to Egypt is a big mlo amongst the comment. But understands it like this that what Yseph essentially was saying to his father was you know father I was stolen from your home. I was sold as a slave as a piece of property. I was essentially brought up in the immoral, decadent society of Egypt. And despite all of that, I did whatever I could to maintain my personalistic purity. I did whatever I could to go ahead and be your son, to be a son of Yakov, to uphold our Abrahamic values, to be someone who was worthy of being a son of Yakov. And I married a good woman and we had good children and we built a good home. And that's what he says to his sons to to his father. Dad, these are my sons that Hashem has given me in these circumstances. I didn't choose these circumstances. And maybe had I not been plucked away from my family, maybe had I not been stripped of my clothing, my dignity, and sold as a piece of cattle, maybe had I been brought up in the beautiful shelter of your home, maybe had I continued to receive your past the age of 17, maybe had you chosen my maybe had my children had the opportunity to sit on your lap from the time that they were babies, maybe maybe their progeny would be fully righteous. But Yoseph says to his father, "Dad, I didn't have those choices. I never had those choices. All I'm able to do in life is to take the circumstances that are given to me and make the best of them. I didn't choose this. I didn't choose this life. I didn't choose these circumstances." You think when you say, right? You think Yoseph's ideal job was to be the viseroy in Egypt? No, it wasn't. It wasn't. Even with all of his dreams, that wasn't his dream job. You think if given Yoseph the dream between fame and wealth in Egypt versus growing up and staying as a normal son of Yakov in his home that he wouldn't have chosen, staying in his house, staying with his family. Of course, he would have. But he says, "Dad, I didn't make the choices made the choices for me. And I have one simple job to take the hand that is dealt to me and to maximize it. These are the kids that I have that has given me in these circumstances. Maybe they would look different. Maybe their offspring would look different if I had a different life narrative. But alas, I don't. I have baz. This is what I got. And so I can say to you, Father, confidently, I took what gave me and I maximized it. Father, I tried my best. It says and he says, "You're right, my son. You're right. You did your best. And your best is beautiful, and your best is incredible. and you maximized your baz your circumstances. I can't ask any more of you. Can't ask any more of you. Bring me your sons and I will bless them. And teaches us such a profound lesson. It's really two lessons. [snorts] Well, it's two lessons that are one lesson which is often in life we don't choose the hand that is dealt to us. Kadesh who asks of us is to try our best. That's all. Just try your best. We erroneously think that sometimes we're held like an expectation of perfection. Or sometimes we make the mistake of comparing ourselves to other people without recognizing that that other person's life circumstances are so vastly different than my own. better or worse doesn't m just different and doesn't ask me to be perfect and doesn't ask me to be like Ruv or Shim or Leia Yehuda alleshu asks of me is one thing to take your bazette to take your circumstances and to do your best that's all places all of us in that baz in those circumstances that he chooses for us in those circumstances that he visits upon us and that shall never asks us for perfection. Never asks us for anything that is beyond reach just asks us to try our best. Yakov doesn't want to give a braha because he feels that his grandsons had not lived up or Yoseph maybe has not lived up to some elevated heightened almost pedestal-like expectation. And then Yoseph, Yoseph, the son has to teach his father an important lesson. Doesn't need me to put myself up on a pedestal. He just needs me to take the bazess circumstances, the circumstances I've been given, and to try my best. Jacob hears this and he says to his son, "You're right. Bring them to me and I will bless them." And says, "Do you want to know where blessing comes from in life? true blessing comes from when sees that we're trying our best. Now, you have to be honest because sometimes I say I'm trying my best, but I'm not. Sometimes we say we're trying our best and it's really just an excuse to absent oursel from putting in more more initiative or more action or or a little bit more effort. Is this not the most beautiful thing in the world? That does not ask me to be perfect. He doesn't even ask me to be great. He doesn't ask me to measure myself up against any other person. He just asks me for one simple beautiful and holy thing. And it's the same thing that he asked yatic for. Just take your baza circumstances. Just take the circumstances that I've created for you in life and try your best. Yoseph did it. Yseph tried his best. And amazingly enough, for the young man who became an old man who tried his best, he's forever known as Yosephadic. Yoseph did it and created a beautiful life for himself. May we be to try our best and find situs, find righteousness, holiness, and beauty in our lives as well. Wishing everyone a good night of Shabas and a beautiful Shabas Kesh.