Nitzavim/Vayelech: Vulnerable and Ready

Dear friends, welcome to this week's virtual dasha. This week we have the incredible privilege on this last shabas of the year through the double pars of and in parabu continues not just giving not just giving guidance for but also telling them about the dynamic of the human condition which essentially can be summarized in one simple thing. Inas they call it forward and backwards, ups and downs, peaks and valleys. Such is the nature of the human condition. Sometimes we think it's a result of us doing something wrong. If only I did everything right, then everything in life would be tranquil, would be uniformed, it'd be complete equilibrium. But Mosh informs us that's not the nature of the human condition. of a show of the ups and downs, the peaks and valleys. And says this in the beginning of parliament chapter 30 verse one when all of these things will occur to you. And again says listen in life all kinds of things are going to happen. There's going to be there's going to be but specifically in times of adversity and sometimes again you'll find yourself in the midst of adversity. You'll find yourself in the midst of exile. You find yourself surrounded by hostile alienations. And what will you do? And here Mosha introduces another once again a cha motif there sometimes in those moments of distress when you recognize all you had and all that you lost when you'll recognize the squandered opportunities of life instead of losing yourself losing yourself in despair you'll pull yourself together and you'll pull yourself back to you return back to such a beautiful message of hope that even when the Jew finds themselves elves in the midst of despair, in the midst of sadness, in the midst of heartbreak, we don't lose ourselves in that sea of sorrow. Instead, we pull ourselves back together. We pull ourselves back to says, "If we escape, this is in 30:6 literally translated, Hashem will circumcise your heart, the heart of your offspring. to love to love with all of your heart, with all of yourself for the duration of your life. And the most big is saying is also Hashem sees the path you want to take and Hashem will help you on that path. So therefore, if you choose the path of if you choose the path of return, if you choose the path of spiritual rehabilitation, just know you're not going down that path alone. who will help you is is our partner in whatever we want to do in life. Especially when we want to do good things in life. If Hashem sees that Hashem sees that inner will, he will amplify it. He will help us. Hashem will circumcise your heart, which on the most basic level seems to mean you want to engage in that journey of personalistic spiritual rehabilitation. Hashem will absolutely help you along that way. Incredible. Incredible. says something, excuse me, says something so beautiful. He explains the following. He says, I want to quote to you. He says, first of all, he's intrigued by this idea of will circumcise your heart. You know whenever it comes to matters of spiritual growth and especially when it comes to matters of chuva that's you know the says controls everything except for the fear of heaven which is in the kazal telling us that hashem literally controls everything when it comes to your own spirituality when it comes to your own spiritual growth your own spiritual maturation that's in your hands that's in your hands so what does this mean that Hashem is going to circumcise my heart first of all what what what is this whole circumcision of the heart what what does this mean? And says something so incredibly beautiful. He says, listen to these words. If a person allows himself to feel the pain of his sins, that's the meaning of the circumcision of the heart. If you allow yourself to feel the pain of your sins, because as long as the heart is uncircumcised and closed off, you can't really feel what's happening inside of you only. It's only once you go ahead and you circumcise your heart there's an opening in my heart then you'll feel your pain and then through the pain then you'll have real remorse and that sparks the way to telling us something so incredibly profound. We go through life with so many blockages. We build so many walls. Why? Because we're scared of making ourselves vulnerable. Because the moment I make myself vulnerable, the moment I engage in real introspection, the the moment I try to peel back all the layers and see like what's happening inside here, what's happening inside me? We're so scared of that process. Why? Because inevitably what we'll find is sin. What we'll find is disrepair. What we'll find is spiritual, maybe emotional dysfunction. Now, we forget. We'll also find a lot of great stuff. We'll find so much beauty, so much holiness, so much good. But we're so scared to introspect. We're so scared to look what's under the hood. We're so scared to look inside of ourselves. We're so scared to peel back the ara, to peel back the obstruction, to let down the walls that we go through life never experiencing the full profoundity of introspection and never experiencing what it means to become a real bala. Ramman says the first step in coming closer to the first step is coming closer to ourselves and the first step in coming closer to ourselves is allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. Not vulnerable to anyone else but vulnerable to me self vulnerability. Reflexive vulnerability. Do I make me vulnerable to me? Do I allow myself to see who I really am? We all project a wonderful image to the world. Right? We're good at that. And it's not hypocrisy. It's the human condition. It's the nature. I have one identity outside, one identity inside. There's a person the world knows and then there's the real me. And we're so so scared to get to know the real me because I'm so scared of confronting all the things that are in a state of disrepair. And the says the only way to grow in life is if you're willing to circumcise the heart. If circumcision of the heart, right? Cardiac circumcision. Being mal circumcising the heart just means making yourself vulnerable enough that you could see who you really are. And when I say who I really am, I'll find a lot of beauty, a lot of good. But yes, I'll also find a lot of disrepair and a lot of dysfunction. But don't be scared because if I find it and if I made it, like the Reb says, it means that I could fix it. But the process of true cathartic change and true cathartic growth only begins if I'm willing to circumcise my heart. If I'm willing to let down the walls, if I'm willing to look at me, to look what's under the hood, to see what's really going on. The Reb says if aes sees that you're willing to engage in that true personalistic vulnerable introspection, Hashem will help you along that way. He'll help you doesn't mean that Hashem is going to do the work for you. But if Hashem sees that I'm willing to circumcise my heart, I'm willing to take down my walls. I'm willing to introspect. I'm willing to make myself vulnerable because I want to see who I really am. I want to see what I really am because I want to be better. I want to celebrate the good and build upon the good and I want to fix the stuff that's broken. If I do that, the says is going to say, "Okay, I got you. I'll help you along with that process." But then there's something else that happens because remember what does the say will circumcise my heart and the heart of my offspring. What what is that? The Reb says, "Listen to the words of the rabbi." He says something so beautiful. He says, service is something amazing. When I circumcise my heart that has an impact on those around me, it has an impact on my children, an impact on my friends, an impact on my community, or stated in a more plain way, when people see that I'm willing to make myself vulnerable to me. First of all, it encourages them to make themselves vulnerable to themselves as well. And then we altogether allow ourselves to make ourselves vulnerable to each other. We build up so many walls because we're scared to make ourselves vulnerable. We're scared. I'm scared to put myself out there in relationships. I'm scared to put myself out there to other people. And so, Rabbi Aman says something so incredibly beautiful that if I'm willing to make myself vulnerable to me, just start with me. Introspect Ashanesh circumcise my heart. Look under the hood. Let me see what's happening with me. Then that creates a spiritual energy of vulnerability. My children will start to do that with themselves as well. My friends, my community, and then the process grows because once we're willing to make ourselves vulnerable to ourselves, willing to make ourselves vulnerable to each other as well. And the moment we make ourselves vulnerable to each other, wow. Wow. That's where a comes in. That's the space where is built because the moment the walls come down, the moment I get to know me and it's the moment I get to know you, says the rabbhat. If I could begin the process of circumcising my heart and making myself vulnerable to me, to myself, that creates a spiritual energy that will encourage others, my children, my family, my community to do the same. And the moment that we're all in the vulnerability space, the personal vulnerability space, that's the moment we can make ourselves vulnerable to each other. And that's where the magic happens. That's where the atos happens. That's where everything beautiful happens. But it all starts from a willingness to circumcise your own heart. Comes from a willingness to bring down your own walls. And once that process starts, there is no telling where it could lead. And this the truth is is the process of so much evil. You know, interestingly enough, one of the and one of the hints to is because the process of is the process of vulnerability. And it starts just with one simple thing. Me being vulnerable with me, me really looking at to me, me bringing down the walls of me, me circumcising my own heart. And then from there, so much beautiful dynamic spiritual energy happens. So sigon brings down. That's one of the reasons we build a shaash is to commemorate the bringing down of the walls of because life successful living is all about bringing down walls. We construct walls around our own heart. Bring it down. Bring down the walls. Circumcise the heart. We construct walls separating ourselves from other Jews. Bring down the walls. We create walls and levels of ara between ourselves and our family members. Bring down the walls. But you can't bring down the walls with other people until you bring down the walls with yourself. So dear on this shabas last shabus of the year we have one simple aod simple yet complex. Bring down the walls. Circumcise your heart. Find the time to be alone with yourself and to see what's under the hood. What's happening with silverber? I mean fill in your own name there. What's happening? What's happening in my life? Who am I? What am I? What's going right? And let me build on it. And what's going wrong? And what's dysfunctional and what's broken? Let me be brave enough to finally tackle it. And if we can be vulnerable enough to circumcise our own hearts and vulnerable enough to be just good with ourselves and to look under the hood, that'll impact our family. It'll impact our community. Suddenly, walls upon walls, hearts are being circumcised everywhere. And that's where the aus begins. That's where the unity begins. That's where the magic begins. But it all begins with us. Was willing to help us along this journey as long as we are willing to take this courageous first step. May this be the shabas of beautiful cardiac circumcision. May this be the shabas of bringing the walls down. And let's see where that beautiful tidal wave of spiritual energy takes us as individuals and takes us as a people. Wishing everyone a good night of Shabas and a beautiful Shabas kesh.