Acharei Mos/Kedoshim: There’s Always a Little Left

Dear friends, welcome to the Zigger's virtual draw show. This week we have the incredible privilege to read the double parshios of Acharei Mos and Kedoshim. And I want to draw your attention to a beautiful possuk in parshas Kedoshim. The Torah says, in perek kuf tes, possuk tes vav, chapter 19, verse 15, "Lo sassu avla ba mishpat." Literally, do not pervert justice. "Lo sissa pene dal lo sada pene gadol." Do not play favorites. So again, the parsha is the Torah is talking about the beis din, to the dayanim, to the judges on a beis din, that when you sit in that courtroom, when you sit in that beis din, you have one sacred task, to adjudicate correctly, adjudicate justly, do not pervert justice. How do you avoid the perversion of justice? Don't play favorites. Don't favor the poor person, don't favor the rich person. And then the possuk ends off by saying, "Be tzedek tishpot amisecha." Literally again, with righteousness or with justice, you shall go ahead and judge your fellow. Now the Gemara understands that that last phrase is a continuation of the previous part. For example, the Gemara says, what does it mean "Be tzedek tishpot amisecha"? Judge your fellow righteously or justly. So the Gemara says, if one of the litigants is standing, they both have to stand. One is sitting, they both have to sit. They both have to have the same amount of time to present their arguments. So the Gemara understands "Be tzedek tishpot amisecha", judge your fellow favorably or justly, is a continuation of don't play favorites. Do not favor one litigant over the other. Incredible. But then the Gemara goes on. The Gemara says, "Davar acher." Another interpretation of "Be tzedek tishpot amisecha", another interpretation of you should judge your fellow with justice or with righteousness, the Gemara says, "Have ei dan es chaveircha le kaf zechus." Give your friend the benefit of the doubt. Literally again, "Le kaf zechus", if you can imagine, a kaf is like a scale or a weight or a measure. So if you can imagine again, you have a scale, you have two sides, right? One one is one is righteousness and one is iniquity or liability. Always judge your friend "Le kaf zechus." Make give him the benefit of the doubt. Make sure that his side of righteousness is always heavier in your eyes than the side of liability and iniquity. "Be dan le kaf zechus." Give people the benefit of the doubt. This is not a chiddush. This is something we all know. But I think we would agree that at often, this is probably one of the most difficult things. You know, there's a there's easy ways to apply this. There's a classic case. I see my good friend Reuven walking into a treif restaurant and I'm going to say, "Reuven, Reuven, Reuven, what happened to you? What's going on?" Okay, so calm down. Maybe he's going to use the restroom. Maybe he's going to ask directions. I realize that is a dated example, asking directions. Now I always everything else Google Maps. Okay. Hey, he went to ask directions, he went to get a cup of coffee, he went to get a soda, whatever it might be. Just "Be dan le kaf zechus." But dear friends, are there not situations in life where we see people do things, we see people act in a certain way, say certain things, or they act or do certain things to us, and there's no like silver lining in it. It it is what it In other words, a person did something objectively wrong, objectively hurtful, objectively terrible. And yet we have this concept of "Be dan le kaf zechus", of giving people the benefit of the doubt. But what how is there benefit of a doubt in a situation where what the other did is so clearly, unequivocally wrong? So perhaps you could say, maybe "Be dan le kaf zechus" doesn't apply when someone is objectively wrong. But if you notice, the Gemara doesn't say that. There's there's a possuk in the Torah, "Be tzedek tishpot amisecha." Judge people righteously, judge people with tzedek, with righteousness, with justice. And again, "Have ei dan dan es chaveircha le kaf zechus." Judge people favorably. Give people the benefit of the doubt. But how do you do that in difficult situations where clearly the behavior was so wrong? And Rabbi Nachman, healing of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, again in Likutei Moharan, something so incredibly beautiful. The Rabbi says, he quotes the possuk from Tehillim. David HaMelech says in Tehillim, "Od me'at ve'ein rasha." Now again, literally translated means a little bit more, all right? A little bit longer, and there will be no evil. The parsha is David HaMelech is referring to the Messianic era. And he's telling us, "Yidden, hold on. Hold on. We've been waiting for Mashiach for so long, but "Od me'at", just a little bit longer, Mashiach comes, evil as we know it is going to be vanquished. Evil as we know it is going to be eradicated. Evil as we know it is going to disappear. "Od me'at", just hold on a little bit longer. "Ve'ein rasha." And ultimately, the rishus, the evil in this world that we see, that I have to contend with every single day, will no longer exist. Rabbi Nachman says, that's incredible and that's beautiful, but there's another meaning to this as well. And the Rabbi says, in that little phrase, "Od me'at ve'ein rasha", teaches us how to relate to ourselves and how to relate to others. The Rabbi says like this, all of us make mistakes. And I would say most of us, if not all of us, make some pretty big mistakes. And the greatest challenge in the aftermath of making a life mistake or life failure is that you begin to look at yourself as a failure, as just like "Shivrei Luchos", just broken. I'm just I'm just broken. I'm just broken." And sometimes, tragically, we look at ourselves as the sum total of our mistakes. What am I? I'm the guy who made this poor decision. I'm the guy who made this wrong turn. I'm the guy who missed this opportunity. That's who I am. I'm the guy who messes stuff up, because look at my track record. Look at everything I've done or I haven't done. And the Rabbi says, there's nothing further from the truth. Yeah, we make a lot of mistakes. And those mistakes definitely compromise us. But the Rabbi says, no matter how many mistakes you've made in life, no matter how much you've messed up, "Od me'at", there's always a little bit more of me "Ve'ein rasha", that's not corrupted, that's not evil, that's not bad, that's not broken. There's always a piece of me that is still spiritually intact, that is still holy, that is still beautiful, that is still incredible. And the Rabbi says, that "Od me'at", that little bit little bit of me that "Ve'ein rasha", that there's no evil, that's what gives me the ability to rebuild. That's what gives me the ability to start over again. That's what gives me the ability to say, "Okay, I've messed up big time, but at the end of the day, I have still what I need. That "Od me'at", that little bit, in order to restart the flame, in order to restart the process, in order to rebuild. All of us have an "Od me'at ve'ein rasha." All of us have a little bit that's not corrupted. And the Rabbi says, the same way that I have to believe that for myself, I also have to believe that for the other. That when I see someone do something that's not good, and I see someone that does something hurtful, whether it's hurtful to me or hurtful to others, the Rabbi says, the way I have to look at that person is, "What you did is really bad, but that act of doing something bad does not make you in totality a bad person. Because I have to believe that you also have an "Od me'at ve'ein rasha." You did something really bad, but there's still a piece of you that's beautiful. There's still a piece of you that's good. There's still a piece of you that is holy, that is spiritually luminescent. So the Rabbi says something amazing. Yes, there are times in life where you give people the benefit of the doubt. The benefit of the doubt means, "I know you said this, but did you really mean it like that?" Or "I know you did that, but did you really mean to do that?" Or your action looks like this. And there are times in life where I can't come up with a proper positive narrative or spin on something that looks negative. But the Rabbi says, in those moments, when someone who I care about, or I love, who is close to me, or someone who is not close to me, does something that is objectively wrong. Objectively There's there's no two ways about it. There's no silver lining. There's no positive explanation. My avodah is to look at that person and say, "Even though" you don't have to say it to them, it's more to yourself, to say, "Even though what you did was objectively wrong and bad, I believe with all of my heart that you still have good inside of you. That that negative act does not define the totality of who and what you are." The same way, that says Rabbi Nachman, that we have to apply that standard to ourselves, cuz if we don't apply that standard to ourselves, after our the composite total of our mistakes in life, we're just going to curl up in the fetal position in the corner and rock back and forth lamenting all of the terrible mistakes and missteps and the failures we've had. But I believe for myself, "Od me'at ve'ein rasha." I believe that I know all the mistakes I made. I know all the missteps I made. I know all of my failures. No one else knows my failures like I do. But despite that, I still believe "Od me'at ve'ein rasha." There's a piece of me that's uncorrupted. There's a piece of me that's beautiful that's waiting to come out. There's a piece of me that I can use to rebuild. Same way, I believe that about myself, says Rabbi Nachman, I have to believe that about the other. And that, says Rabbi Nachman, means what it means to be "Dan le kaf zechus." "Dan le kaf zechus" could sometimes mean giving someone the benefit of the doubt, because what I see is not necessarily what's true. And what I heard is not necessarily what was meant. And what I perceive is not necessarily what's actually unfolding. Sometimes that's true. But sometimes what I see is what's actually occurring. Sometimes what I hear is what's actually being said. And sometimes the other is doing something objectively terrible and bad. And in those moments, Rabbi Nachman says, pause. Look at that person and just tell yourself, "Od me'at ve'ein rasha." My friend, my spouse, my parent, my child, whoever it is, may have done something really terrible, but I'm choosing not to define them by the totality of that mistake, by the totality of this event, because I believe there's so much good inside of them. And even if I don't believe that there's so much good inside of them, Odz ma'at ve'in rasha, there's at least still some good inside that person. Rebbe Nachman says that's how we have to look at each other. That even in those moments when we mess up, when you look at the other, see the good. See the good. I I can't whitewash the negativity. I can't go ahead and just pretend like what you said you didn't say or what you did you didn't do. You said it. You did it. But I believe that this negative thing that you just did doesn't define you. Just like I have As like I failed and I still have good inside of me, when I see you fail, I have to believe that you still have good inside of you. Rebbe Nachman says that's what it means to be done the kav v'choson. The Rebbe actually says, if we could learn to do this by others, then in meherut Hashem we could do it for ourselves. So Rebbe Nachman posits that maybe it's easier to do this for other people than it is to do it for ourselves. So whichever way it works, whether it's easier for you to start with you and then apply that same standard to someone else or it's easier to start with someone else and apply it to me, the Rebbe says this is what we have to do. We have to learn to see the good in each other, even when we see the other fail so miserably. Even when the other's actions are clearly wrong, abhorrent, and even hurtful. I can't define the other by the negativity that they've perpetrated. I have to be able to see or at least to believe they're Odz ma'at ve'in rasha. There's more to you that's still good. There's more to you that's still beautiful. And if we can apply that same concept to others, we can apply it to ourselves as well. I know I fail I fail every single day, but I believe that no matter how big and how bad the failure, Odz ma'at ve'in rasha, there's still more of me that's uncorrupted. I have it and I have to believe that you have it. And dear friends, during this period of Sefirah, where the students of Rabbi Akiva were lost, "Mipnei shelo nahagu kavod zeh lazeh." They did not exhibit honor one to the other. Whatever exactly that means. Cuz these are great men. These were great men, the students of Rabbi Akiva. But one thing is clear, there was a breakdown in how they treated each other. There was a breakdown in how they interacted. There was a breakdown in how they viewed one another. This is the time of year to work on our relationships. People hurt us. People upset us. People offend us. That's just a fact of relationships, a fact of life. So you could choose to define your friends, your family, and your loved ones by their failures and by the hurt they visited upon you and write them off or in those moments of stinging interpersonal pain, but I could say is what you did was wrong. It really was. And sometimes even inexcusable. But I know there's more to you. I know there's more to you. I know there's goodness. I know there's holiness. I know there's beauty. And that's what I'm going to choose to focus on. Because when I look at you, I see your Odz ma'at ve'in rasha. No matter what you've done to me, I see at the end of the day there's more to you that's beautiful, magnificent, and spiritually luminescent. And if we can apply that standard to others, then in meherut Hashem we'll be zocheh to apply it to ourselves as well. That even in the aftermath of awesome life failure, we won't give up on ourselves. The same way we don't give up on others, we won't give up on ourselves. And I'll believe about myself, my Odz ma'at, no matter how badly I failed, there's more to me, a lot more to me. And if I could just dig down and find it in meherut Hashem, there's no telling what I could accomplish. Odz ma'at ve'in rasha, the secret to success in our interpersonal relationships and the secret to success for our personal development. Wishing everyone a good night of Shabbos and a beautiful Shabbos Kodesh.