After Hours with Rabbi Yaron Reuven (36)

[Music] now I'll just open up for you guys to ask some questions yeah about the rabus how it possible to get type of knowledge years ago K exactly and uh there is I actually heard today from my raav that the nephew not nephew the grandson the grandson of radya said I don't know exactly when he said it but he heard it himself from radya when he was alive that there was a time during his life when he was younger that he would finish the entire sh every month the entire Shas every single month now if you finish the sh once every seven years you're great you finish the entire Shas once every seven years you do Dai wonderful it's a phenomenal accomplishment you've actually achieved something in your life Shalom says that a person should really have a celebration every time he finishes one Duff one page you should really have technically you should have a celebration because you've actually achieved something in your life by completing a single page of gamar to such an extent that there was one famous story not too long ago previous generation two generations ago at the time of the RAB Moshe Feinstein there was a retired professional boxer Jewish boxer that had a son who didn't want to be a boxer but instead wanted to be a sadik so one day he comes home with a and keep from his Public School and the father wasn't exactly pro-jewish or Pro anything he didn't like it so he showed him what does it feel like to get punched by a retired boxer the next day The Boy comes to his robab he says if I come home again with a the keeper he's GNA kill me this time he says listen try it again if you see that he gets mad again just take it off for I'm just kidding just kidding I just want just joke AB just kidding just just just prank I know you don't I know I didn't remember from yesterday I felt you yesterday I know I know just kidding but maybe he doesn't do anything so the young little boy little simple cute little holy boy does what his Rabbi says he comes home with the ti with the keeper his father looks at him the boxer the retired boxer looks at him nods ah and lets it go from that point that little boy continued to learn Torah on his own became went to in those days you were able to do it without getting a second mortgage and eventually became a moved away to Y but he always kept in touch with his retired boxer father and would send them newsletters Torah newsletters so one of these news letters the father read said that the K says that uh or the yeah I think it was a Kish wrote once that he doesn't believe that there's a single Jew in the world that will ever complete their life without finishing one page ofar so the father this St out in his mind he asked his son he goes I don't understand who first of all who is this Kish so he tells one of the Giants of Giants and and so on and so forth he goes okay and uh what is this Gar so the son explains ohar is it's it's this it's that you go so what's the big deal of finishing one page go no it's you know learning it's important you have to you know okay so I'll do it why should we let him down this kazun guy why should we let him down I want to learn one page give me a give me AAR I'll learn one page he goes no it's not so simple I'll get you a teacher okay so he got him a teacher now this retired boxer didn't exactly have the brain of a mathematician he had the brain of a boxer they got punched one too many times so he was not exactly the best student but he went through it and went through it and he would forget everything he would learn moments after he learned it it took him an entire year to complete one Duff of one page ofar one year for one page not one not the one page a year at the end of the year he walks around head high chest out feels like a little mini mosu he calls his son he says listen son I want to have a party I want to have a party to celebrate me completing the page the da says ABA usually there's celebrations if you finish a like an enti tractate could be 30 pages 50 pages 150 Pages whatever it is different there's the me which is 30 pages approximately there is a which is 64 Pages 65 Pages something like that there's Shabbat that's 155 Pages 57 Pages something like that there's different sizes one page is you don't usually celebrate for one page I want to do it he says I want to have a party go SC ask the rabbi so the son said okay I'm going to ask who I'm going to ask I'm going to ask RAB MOS Feinstein do I'm going to call the biggest Rabbi in the world ask him a question M Feinstein was very accessible you had a question you just all you needed to do is call Feinstein all you need to do to be a Jew is have his phone number that's all you need to be a Jew why there's a question he'll answer didn't make a difference what time what day what didn't make a difference he calls Feinstein I'm sorry to bother you but my father just he's almost UH 60 years old he just completed after a year a year of studying every day every day studying every day he completed his first da of gar first page of gar and he wants to have a celebration no different than the celebration you're supposed to have when you entire sh like a wedding big celebration supposed to Happ when you finish the sh what should we do for the M Feinstein says he should have it and you should tell him I'm coming hold on a second the phone dropped wait wait no no no my father it's one page not the whole shot it's not he goes he should have it the celebration and tell him that I am coming I'm coming to the party they publicized this the ad the biggest Rabbi in the world the America's Rabbi The Real Americans Rabbi is coming to this party this a page not page the biggest Rabbi in the world's coming so if the biggest Rabbi is coming who else going to come everyone else is coming all the other bigger rabbis are coming everyone comes the biggest the biggest the biggest this one the all the biggest rabbis in the world come to this finished page they had thisin said this one said everybody said something it was a big KES kashim hundreds and hundreds of people unbelievable and that night the B died and Mos Feinstein said at his Alva at his funeral he came to his funeral he said some people buy theira with one Duff he came to the world for only one purpose it wasn't to be a boxer it was to finish one Duff he finished it he completed it he completed his T so now we understand from here that everyone has a different tun whether you're gonna be ra Moshe Feinstein or you're GNA be Amos or you're GNA be Aron or you're gonna be the boxer that's all in the hands of hem but in reality every single person has has the ability the rambam says to become their own version of mosenu each one of us can reach our full potential as far as as far as wisdom hasem has a verse in the Tora he says I give who does he give to says to those who love who does he give wisdom to to the people that love wisdom to people that have wisdom why do he give it to the people that have wisdom shouldn't he give it to the fools if they're fools he gives them wisdom they'll become W wise no why give more wisdom to the ones that are already wise he goes no if they're already wise that means that they've toiled and toiled and toiled and tried and worked hard to gain their wisdom because they like wisdom if they're fools it's because they don't like wisdom they like watching sports they like watching movies they're like making sandwiches they don't like wisdom so even if I gave it to them they wouldn't know what to do with it so why should I waste it on them he gives wisdom to the ones who chase wisdom if you study at night instead of watch movies if you go to sh instead of going to play baseball if you actually look for the Hem will give you wisdom he can make you Feinstein he can make you a mhu he can make you as great as you are supposed to be but obviously you have to do your own but in regards to how much of a genius you could become that honestly it's in your hands because it's all based on how much you earn through your toil what you end up getting obviously hasem decides but why you would get it is based on how much you try if you're spending every minute that you have chasing wisdom then Hashem says oh it's a worth worthy investment for me to give you even more because you know what to do with it but if you waste your time then why is he going to give it to you and that's why the says that after a person dies AEM sends him three Mal he sends them Three Angels one Angel is to give him a to say why did you do these actions why' you do this why' you do this why' you do this why didn't you do this why' you do this why did you do this a second Angel is going to tell him every word that came out of his mouth why did you say this why did you say this why did you use too many words why did you waste your time why did you talk to her why did you talk to him why did you just say hello why did you have such a conversation and so many a lot of why you use these words and the third Angel is going to ask him why did you waste time what time did I waste look between there and there between the trip over here to over here there was six minutes why didn't you uh say some was six minutes six minutes you aren't doing anything you weren't trading stocks you wen't buying bonds you weren't building houses you there was 6 minutes in between I know you're busy you build a company and so I got you okay yet 6 minutes over here why don't you do something you had eight minutes over here why don't you do something you had three hours over here why don't you do something what a third Angel is going to come for every Rea what's Rea moment every moment ask you why why why did you waste this Rea why did you waste this moment with waste hours and days and weeks and months he's talking about an angel is going to come to us say why' you waste this moment what kind of answers we gonna have what kind of answers we gonna have oh I didn't know I didn't mean it do over do over so that's it's important for us to accept rebuke because that's the way we're going to fix our mid the wicked wicked character traits that we have that like to waste time that like to waste lives and like to waste money and uh and actually started doing Chua just like every single real Sage said in history every single one of them whether you want to call the Reb from Lich or rabv orad or raash or MOS Feinstein all the way back to mosenu if they're known if they're accepted they said exactly the same thing that I've been telling you for the last four or five years no different no more no less same exact thing why because they all fulfill the of give give truth whether it hurts or not is their problem you still have to give it to them can't sugar coat it can't change it nothing you have to give it to them next question same price and sayses now does that mean someone who is's thinking in a moment about a that he learn right and [Music] thinking yeah to him meditating in that moment that's it's learning to learning to is not uh talking all learning toah is contemplating a lot sometimes you can contemplate on a certain sug for for weeks is a complication that you're learning about how they arrived at this particular truth even if you know exactly what the is even if you know exactly what's and what's and you have the explanation in front of you sometimes you still don't understand how they arrived at it you could contemplate it for weeks for months for years depends on how difficult it is and how deep of a thinking you are so yes at the point of a person is to sanctify aem's name the says is to sanctify aem's name every day sanctify aem's name all the time and part of sanctifying aem's name is in public part of it is to in private of course how do you sanctify him at the very least the prerequisite is to think about him so how do you think about hem the same says you're not allowed to think about what's in heaven and what's below Heaven you're not allowed to think about what's above the heavens we're like how does hem look like something what are the Angels there like you're not allowed to think about things like that why because you're going to get to certain complications and doubts and confusions because you're still human and you don't have the ability to understand what's happening there so even to think about it is not a good thing to do it's not a good thing to do but the same thing is that to think about things that are came before this world and so on it's not a lot of people like to because it's it's mystical and it's mysterious and it's cool and so on people like to talk about things like that but in reality these are not things that are going to help you in your life the things that are going to help you in your life is how to connect to hem by learning his Torah so when it says think about Hashem it doesn't mean think about Hashem by think about what does he look like if it says he has no image what is he thinking now if he says he if he's not talking to me but he's talking you know like all these weird thoughts that people have that you know I have also but the point you're not supposed to so what does it mean think about Hashem think about hasem means think about his word think about what you read today think about what you heard today about Hashem even if you didn't read and you didn't hear anything you can think about Hashem simply by looking at his creation if you're anywhere in the world doesn't make a difference if you're outside or inside you don't need to go to the woods to think about Hashem like some people think that the only way to think about Hashem is by going to the Woods by going to Nature no you can think about hem sitting at your desk and just simply look at this screen that's empty that has nothing and look at all the pixels and realize that all these pixels technically look like they're to you they look like they're solid but in reality they're not solid why they're all made out of atoms just like anything else and the atom is 99% empty space and even the nucleus within the atom is also 99% empty space but yet Hashem in essence makes it so that you think it's something solid because if you punch it he's going to make sure you feel that it's solid but it's really not solid it's really empty space the point is that there's like a it's like a figment of our imagination but it's not imagination point is you see that how complicated the world is he say nothing is greater than you look how many things you created you know everything you did with wisdom whether it's the cat or the dog or the fly or the or the mouse or the uh you know the sky or the computer or the women or the men or the organs or the whatever a piece of bread a person that's complete if you're a certain place you're not allowed to learn T so what do you do what do you do let's say for example if you have stomach issues and you you spend a lot of time in the bathroom some people should say a with full why when you say is the blessing for when you come out of the bathroom people that have it good where they only go to the bathroom for two minutes and they get out they forget that they should do the blessing of better than they do better than they do why they should thank that they're able to go to bathroom in such an easy way not painful Pleasant all the waste comes out of their body and so on but people get used to good and they forget that they got good but sometimes people have digestive issues stomach issues and actually a lot of the sadim throughout all of history have had major stomach issues it could be actually a from hasem that the says that a person that has stomach problems is guaranteed not to see gay because having real stomach problems is like having Gom in this world but anyway sometimes there's certain people that are in the bathroom for a long time not because they want to not because they're just hanging out over there because they're in the bathroom so what do you do what do you do if you're someone that cares about hem you know that you can't learn to in the in a uh in the um bathroom but at the same token what do you do listen you could still do something useful what instead of doing nothing instead of I don't know reading some magazine you're not allowed to read you could read one of the magazines you are allowed to read that's about nature or if you have I don't know a phone you don't have one of these magazines already you could watch one of these uh How It's Made show there a How It's Made show I remember in the Discovery Channel How It's Made and it shows you how stuff is made whether it's cereal or desks or planes or whatever or grass you know how they use it for gasoline whatever there's a million and a half different things and once you see how amazing the creation is how hasem created the world with nothing lacking everything is resourceful everything can be used for something amazing even things that you look at them he like ah this must be a waste this must be like an error in creation what can you possibly do with this next thing you know this is fuel next thing you know this is is a uh I know it's a jackets this becomes a what's called I forgot what it was I saw something recently I heard from somebody something that comes uh some type of uh mesh something from Bugs I forgot what it was but they use this specific material for bulletproof vests like the last thing on Earth that you could ever imagine they get it from the so the point is the creation is so amazing that hasem literally created an endless World an endless world so you could actually enjoy the creation even in the bathroom not that it's ideal but I'm saying even if you're there at the worst place you can still do something useful meaning that when you go up to sh tell you why did you waste your time what do you mean I was in a bathroom you can still do something useful in the bathroom you can still do something useful the point is is that to think about hem is something that you could always do you should do uh and you can do if you're doing it through his words of Torah then that's ideal because then you're thinking about the things that he said you're thinking about what he wants that's the most ideal situation in creation if it was worth it for hem to create the entire universe the entire Cosmos everything between everything in it out of it before it everything just for you to have that thought not the whole world to have that just you to have that thought about in it was worth it for to create the whole world for that that's how pleasant it is for him for you to think about him in his Torah so if you do it that's the most ideal situation next question the ramb says that a person only sins because he gets bored but what kind of sins did he make when he gets bored the worst sins there is which part of it is also wasting seed adultery and anything relating to anything relating to sex crimes he does because he's bored why is he bored because he does not have he does not have the thoughts of wisdom in his mind meaning what's wisdom what's is wisdom is Torah meaning that if you ever find yourself to be bored just you know this is just a uh side teachings if you ever find yourself bored that means that you're not learning enough toah that is the clearest sign there is that's like a stop sign the size of the Equator that hasem is giving you oh you're not learning enough T you thought you're learning enough T you're not why if you learned enough T you would never ever ever get bored never there would always be something in your mind that's Tor which means if you ever find yourself not you know bored that means you're not learning enough Tor andm is telling you that in that message and that's what the rambam says that there's a consequence to it what's the consequence that boredom will lead to sin because that emptiness has to be filled with something if you're not going to be filled it with with wisdom you're going to fill it with desires with lust specifically so that's already I'm telling you this is specifically something that's a warning sign for all these young kids that find themselves bored almost 24 hours a day a lot of the young kids always tell me I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored so that's why I'm sinning and a lot of the young kids have found my lectures about wasting seed very helpful but the common denominator that's a problem for all of them is that they're bored constantly so I tell him that you could you should learn T he goes yeah I go to Yesa I learned T said you're not learning enough he goes how much more can I learn I said until you're not bored anymore a lot of the times the stuff that you learn at school even if it's Yeshiva it's not things that you're you're excited about and you're interested in and if you're not interested in it then it's not really going to be a uh you know help you with your boredom and with your issues with your and so on you have to learn Torah that you're interested in if you're interested in learn if you're learn interested in POS learn POS if you're interested in gar learn gar whatever you're interested in you have to learn something you're interested in because what you're interested in you'll want to do what you do is going to make you not bored it's going to make you interested to continue doing it if you don't do it is's a very big risk you're going to continue being a sinner so with that being said if you find yourself bored obviously you need to learn more tah now if it's just simply that you're in the bathroom because it's a uh you're there and not because you're bored in general you shouldn't stay in the bathroom for an extra minute longer than you're supposed to because it's an impure place you shouldn't be in the bathroom for an extra minute more than you're supposed to once you finish the bathroom don't stay on the toilet for an extra 15 or 20 minutes or a half hour because it's fun and it's quiet and your kids are away and you're hiding from your wife and you're hiding from your boss yeah know it's fun to hide in the bathroom but in reality it's not it's not good spiritually because an impure place don't hide in the bathroom uh as soon as you finish your business get out and if you're healthy that should be within a short period of time if you're not healthy then you know whatever it is uh but if you're there and you know yes you're allowed to check whatever your stock portfolio if you want to check your stock portfolio but in reality you know you should find a uh you know you should find better things to do with your time than check your stock portfolio um because I don't know how many times can you have to check your stock portfolio moving up and down the whole day what are you going to do about it thinking what could you do to fix it you can't do anything that means you don't have a strategy that means you don't have a strategy person has a strategy doesn't look at a stock portfolio every day like you said I'm bored sometimes Bo okay board we have to then we go go to option A go option a board we go to option A go board means we have to learn to now there are two types of uh we're not going to spend more than a minute on this there are two types of people that are in the Market some people are Traders some people are investors the Traders look at their Investments 24 hours a day all the time because there's actually meaning to it they have to make a trade they have to take action the investors if they're real investors they don't really look at their Investments more often than once a day if that much sometimes they won't look at it for weeks and the reason why is because they're investing which means that they don't really care what happens every day the market can blow up for all their care they still want to have an ownership in the company if you're pretending to be an investor but you're still finding yourself looking at your portfolio every single day and that means that you're neither an investor nor a Trader you're just confused you stay out of the market next question no that's that's I just describe most people that in a stock market this is not for you specifically this is most people in the stock market especially today because the market is so bullish and it's gone up so much and every idiot in the world made money in it and all the smart people in many cases lost money it's it's been an it's an upside down world even in the upside down world people that are notorious for making money lost money in the stock market uh and people that are not all of them obviously many have made money and people that are uh are actual idiots and don't know anything don't even know what a share actually means what a derivative even means what a uh anything means uh what a shares B shares they don't really know much about the stock market at all yet they made a fortune in the market because and they think that their Geniuses so in reality you know this this this happens in every bull market and eventually they all blow up but we don't wish anybody bad we just that's just a reality of how life works either way if you're already in it my little two minutes of telling you about the stock market no more no less is you should get out you should get out you should do other things with your life uh start a real business do something more useful with your life it's uh it's at a point where it has no logic whatsoever to it next question or we're going to continue tomorrow I can ask more question if you already hear on this can learn so can somebody do chuva for wasting time is the question bottom line question is can somebody do chuva even more so for anything not just wasting time for anything for murder for wasting seed forat for cheating for lying the says in uh I think it was it's all is I think it's letter number 32 33 um as long as a person is alive he's alive for a reason and the reason why he's alive is because he can do chuva the moment a person arrives at a stage that Hashem sees this person cannot do chuva either because he simply can't he's already on a road that he can't return from he's made so many sins it's just going to get worse from here and there's just no way to recover it or he has refused rebuke he can do chuva and hasem sent him the messenger to help him do chuva but he said no no I'm not interested I I'm going to go and uh learn something else I'm busy I'm this I'm that so it's not that he can't do chuva he can do chuva but he refused an opportunity where hasem sent him a rebuker and he refused to listen to the m those moments Hashem can literally decide to end his life why because his life has officially lost its purpose which means if you are here in front of me that means you're alive if you're not you're kind of scary because I usually talk to people not ghosts but if you're you're alive and you're in front of me if you're watching me on the internet and so on and you're alive and you're kicking that means that hasem is rooting for you not only is he telling you that you can do chuva he's telling you that I have aai in you that you can do chuva and that's why I give you your life back every day regardless of what sin you made whether it's wasting seed or wasting time whether it's Orem anything you've done in your past if you're still alive Hashem is telling you outright you have my signature to as a verification to know that you can do chuva depends on their chuva it depends on their chuva if their chuva is complete there are two levels of chuv one level of chuv ch ch is when you're you're doing chv purely out of fear of hem because you don't want to be you don't want to be punished you don't want to go to G you don't want to go to a hot place it doesn't end you don't want to go to not the first one second one third one fourth one fifth one and definitely not the seventh one you don't want to go to any part of Gom you don't want anything you want just good good that means you're a normal person but that level of chuat turns all of the sins that that person made that he you know into shog meaning unintentional sins they're sins nonetheless but they're unintentional which means that they are much much lesser sins much much lesser punishment if at all but but there is a oh let me correct that there is punishment for everything it's just simply that it's much lesser punishment there no such thing as no no Dean for any for any sin you get rewarded for your you get punished for for a but there's a higher level of CH the higher level of chv the ideal CH is a chv out of love what's a chv out of love a chuva is out of love where you not only are scared of being punished but in reality you're also doing the chuah because you fell in love with hem you fell in love with Hashem you see how amazing he is how grateful we should be for all the wonderful things he gives us he gives us a wife he gives us kids he gives us food he gives us money he gives us a house he gives us air he gives us eyes he gives us taste he gives us everything it's so amazing he's so amazing I mean it's just amazing just thinking about hem for a moment if you don't fall in love with him there's something wrong with you I mean he's so amazing how many amazing things he gives you gives you so much good that it's so easy to fall in love with AEM now once a person has falling in love has fallen in love with hasem and now is MIT are not only because he's scared of punishment but also because he's scared of hurting the relationship that he has built with hem that she has built with hem so now she's putting a not just because she doesn't want to go to Gom and be burned but rather because she knows she's a is she knows that a is walks around with a crown she knows that a is is only allowed to show her hair to her husband she knows that a is is Holy she knows that has to represent Holiness to you because you be holy because I am Holy she knows she's a representative of hem and she wants to express our love of hem by our actions he wants to express his love of hem by his actions he's not going to go play baseball or watch baseball he's going to go learn Torah why because that's going to connect me to Hashem so now such a person has got to such a wonderful level in his life that now he's falling in love with hem every mitvah he does is not only a mitvah but also he's turning his previous sins into mitv not only they not sins anymore not only they're not accidental sins or intentional sins they're now turning into mitv all of the wasted seed that he did in his life before he knew he's even a Jew is now turned into a mitvah the guy a weak as a high school kid killed a civilization now turn into why he fell in love with how wonderful is his life now everyone is going to have a balance some section of their life is going to be from fear and Al hopefully one day it's going to be love too to say it's only going to be love you're in la la land you're in a you're a sh you're a drunk person there's no such thing as only love there's no only love in in in in the world there's either fear only or fear and love there's no such thing as only loving Hashem which means that there's going to be certain things that are turning into shog there's going to be certain things that turn into MIT needless to say once you fall in love with hem your life is wonderful because you know that you're connected to the truth you're enjoying every moment of it even if it's difficult so a person that's alive is not alive because he has a heartbeat because the calls a dead even during his life even though he has a heartbeat a wicked person is considered dead even during their life what's alive alive the Torah says is a person that's connected to hasem but not connected to Hashem that he created in his mind connected to AEM that's real AEM that's AEM in the Torah so that person is alive because he knows that he needs to fear him and he's aiming or she's aiming eventually to fall in love with him and to turn in every single opportunity in order to express her love to Hashem meaning to such an extent that even when she makes kala for Shabbat she's not making kala for Shabbat because her husband likes it she's not making kala for Shabbat because she has guests coming she's not making for Shabbat because it's nice and it's tasty and we're saving money from the store no she's making Shabbat because hem likes it it's the honor of his Shabbat she makes a cake for Shabbat because hem likes it not that he eats the cake for all the fools that think no because it's the honor of Shabbat honor of Shabbat is honor of Hashem she makes good food not because a husband likes it only but because AEM likes it because good food also the Ben says is also another way to sanctify shem's name on Shabbat and so on and so forth all of the me what she does she buys the dress not because she looks good in the dress but because this dress is modest and this dress can sanctify aem's Name by a is walking around with a modest dress we'll finish with this Shalom one day was walking and he saw on Shabbat he saw that there is a store that was closed on Shabbat and this time there was a lot of in in Germany alone there was almost 90% assimilation marrying the go and so on he saw finally there was a store a Jewish store closed on Shabbat he took the lock of the store and he kissed the lock the biggest Rabbi in the world took the lock the lock metal lock of a store that's locking the store on Shabbat he gave it a kiss says L why you kissing a lot he goes this is a clees this is a tool of Holiness why it's closed on Shabbat that means this tool is helping the Jew keep Shabbat this is turned into the same thing ases this turned into the same thing as all of the the that you have that's clees you're Sting's name with a piece of metal or with a piece of leather or with a SE T if you know how to use it everything can turn into to KES everything can turn into Holiness if you don't then everything can turn into Tuma into impurity any other pressing questions how about so I understand thatting of fixing is one of hard fix I strategy for that sure so the the same rambam says that in regards to wasting seed it's considered according to the although the train pass so the calls wasting seed the number one sin in the entire Tor um the sad part is is in our current generation of motivation speakers and coaches no one no one really wants to speak about this subject openly with the exception of a handful of English-speaking rabbis uh very very few in the English speaking World in Hebrew does much more but in in English very very few are willing to talk about it openly and publicly and teach the public how terrible it is to such an extent that many Orthodox Jews simply don't even think it's it's a sin even though the actually says it's the biggest sin the rambam says that the reason why people we seed is because they have an empty brain meaning that they don't learn T and they're bored very easily and a human body that's bored a person that gets bored has to occupy his time with something and usually the natural inclination for a person is to waste seed is to make some type of sex crime to such an extent that the rambam says that the only reason why hasem actually created the body is in order for it to generate seed in order to bring children to the world but in essence the only real purpose of the body itself is to create seed but for Kusa now how do we know that this is the natural inclination of a human being during the time of the bet mikdash the first one we learned that hem destroyed the world theem destroyed the BET mikdash and nearly destroy the entire world because of a because of idol worship so many people ask the question is it really possible that they wa worshiped Idols like didn't they see Miracles every day don't they realize that Hashem runs the world don't they realize that hasem is is is is is going to punish them for it so thear actually says something extraordinary of course is knew that all of those Idols even the ones that were able to actually do magic even the idols that were able to heal people that hasem instilled power in them even some of the idols that the mid says were able to move and walk of course knew that it was all Hocus Pocus nonsense so why would they worship them because they knew that as soon as they're viewed as idolators they would now be allowed to make sex crimes they know that as soon as oh you're Idol worshipper ah the heck with you I'm not even don't even come to the shoe don't come to the shoe no I'm not inviting you don't come to the shoe Idol worshiper don't come to I'm not inviting you to the shoe once you're Idol worshiper you're don't come to the sh please they know once they're viewed as Idol worshippers the rabbis is not even going to talk to them anymore so they go out with the with with the hookers then they go out to the script clubs then they can go out with married women why no one's going to tell them any and that's how took over it was all for what to go waste seed it was all for what to go out with girls not allowed to go with and so on and so forth this we see this is this is our Tora so what do we do what do we do with is so strong so first and foremost the same ramb also says you only thinking like this because your mind is not full enough of tah so first cure the first cure is really the only cure what is it you must learn more T if you're learning 15 minutes a day double it half hour you can't just go from 15 minutes to nine hours you have a job you have a wife you have kids you have responsibilities and also your n cannot necessarily take nine hours overnight so whatever you're doing now double it 15 minutes do half hour half hour do an hour an hour two hours two hours dble do more more that's one two make sure that you're evaluating your Torah and that it's Torah that you're really interested in three if you're learning most of your learning from lectures like this then start picking it up a notch one of the ways to pick it up a notch is by also learning from books too another way from from picking it up a notch is treating the lecture as a book and by that I mean do what some of you have started doing recently start taking notes don't go to a lecture like you go to a movie don't go to a lecture like you go to the park bring a notebook write down notes write down what happened oh he said this oh the page here why and then you could go over your notes later on you don't have to write down every single word the speaker said just bullets of different things that you like that touched you he said things for an hour two hours 3 hours if it's me and he said things maybe you got out of the three hours you got three points 10 points 20 points write them down write them down go over it treat the lecture like a book like you would highlight in the book highlight in the lecture now that lecture that same two three hours you've spent on the lecture has just pick up pick picked up a lot actual aspect it became better why now you're learning not just being entertained some people go to and they're entertained for 20 years still 20 years they go to still violate Shabbat still not modest still curse talk like a truck driver still all this stuff what happened cuz it's entertainment for them oh yeah I like the way you speak who cares if you like the way I speak did you do what I said did you do what hasem said so if your predominantly your learning is from lectures then you have to pick it up and by starting to write down notes aside from that also obviously start learning from books always have a balance it shouldn't only be lectures by the way it should also it shouldn't only be books either because sometimes you're going to get more fire from a real good Shure than you are going to get from a book so it always has to be a balance so your Torah has to pick up that's number one the next thing is is that in order for a person to not waste seed he has has to protect himself there's two things that he calls eyes and they are the windows to his says a person should watch their eyes in the morning so sin does not come to them at night Sin meaning evil evil meaning wasting seed if a person does not watch his eyes and he looks at every girl that walks whether it be on the Internet or on his on his phone or on the street or at his job or so on there's no way that he's going to be able to fix his bit why at some point even if he's not sinning with a girl he's going to sin on his own so the problem is that if a person does not fix his issues of watching his eyes he's G to have very very hard time to watch his bre so it's very important to the person to start watching his eyes and looking away now of course you have to make certain eye contact or just some type of contact when you're talking to people but you don't have to stare you don't have to stare so unless you're in a meeting with just one woman that's your client or something like that even then you don't have to necessarily stare and look at them regardless and this by the way this has nothing to do with whether they're pretty or not they could look like a horse for I care it doesn't make a difference your does not decipher whether she's pretty or not like some people think oh no if she's ugly then it's okay I can look at her no it's absolutely not the ra actually says such a person is considered a fool to think that just because she's ugly or old therefore it's not going to trigger your yet that's a person is a fool does not care if she's 99 years old as a matter of fact somebody just sent a video I couldn't believe it I could I couldn't watch the video I just saw the preview of it and I saw a picture of the two people one guy 30 years old I don't know where he's from what nation he's from if he's Jewish not Jewish I don't know what he is he's 30 years old and his girlfriend is 93 years old 93 or 98 I don't know she's like I don't know I think I think she knows uh I think she knows like K I think she knows kak n she's 90 something years old he's 30 and the picture of this thing is they're like hugging and kissing like they like love birds oh you saw this Facebook oh okay there you go I couldn't believe my I me this what the what what is happening to this world I think that the generation of Sodom and gamorra is come on God they're much worse than us they're much worse than us God no come on no bring the hell hem bring the hell sir what's happen so that's the thing so a person needs to know if he's not watching his eyes it's not much there's not much success he's going to have that's uh he's going to have some limited success but not a lot of success because if he doesn't watch his eyes at some point he's going to S even if it's not voluntarily he's always going to have thoughts and he's just going to live in torture because remember what enters your eyes enters your mind what enters your mind doesn't leave so if you're going to constantly think about the girl you saw at the store or the girl at your office or your customer or your cousin or your this or you're that because you looked at her and she kind of cute and she's kind of this and she kind of that okay just so you know you're both going to be in Gom together cute and along that time while you wait for Gom to be put on fire for you especially while you're waiting you're torturing yourself you're to you live a life of torture why because it's constantly in your mind it's in your mind it's in your mind it's in your mind she won't leave you saw it once in your life she's not leaving how can you get it to leave you have to replace that thought with t once you've learned a lot of T those thoughts never leave by the way they're always there they just what you do is in essence think of it as like a garbage disposal okay so now your thoughts this thoughts of girls that you had accumulated your whole life from all the G neish that's in this world from the office and the pornography and the internet and all that garbage that we've accumulated through our life before we did chuva that's what you have in your mind now you start bringing T Purity this doesn't go away it doesn't ENT it doesn't exit through your ears so what happens to it it just you bring more and more T and now it presses on it it presses on it and now this goish disgusting stuff goes in the back and it's replaced little by little replaced more and more it's replaced with Torah so yes maybe randomly you're going to have the occasional yet that something from the back shows up hey I'm here once in a while you're going to have one of those even if you're learning toah but at least it's once in a while not 24 hours a day so you're not tortured all day thinking about girls so that's the thing for women don't understand this because women don't have this tun they have a different T they have to carry us in their stomachs for nine months so the point is that a guy needs to understand if he looks you're finished you're finished you finished this is why I tell people if you live by the beach you're finished there's no way to do chuva on the beach there's no way to do chva on the beach why every day you go downstairs everyone's naked you could be the yavitz you could be theid yav yourself himself everything with the tri with the this with the that oh okay naked naked naked naked naked what will you blind yourself what are you going to do one of theim in the one ofik got to such a point of he never looked at a woman in his life yet says can I test them can I test them Hashem says you're wasting your time so can I test themm can I test them you're wasting your time he's CES he's never going to look can I test them or no he says go you want to test go test him he goes he appears to this I forget his name all the time he one of the people in the huh possibly I think you're right K so now so now he's actually over there and the yet pierced them as the most beautiful woman that ever existed immediately looks away so now think like me just shows up on time leaves on time no no he's on the other side now he's now on the other side so he see oh he's so now he realized there something going on over here there's a woman on the right there's a woman on the left there's no way for him to avoid it he tells one of his student as he's closing his eyes son can you go bring me the little things that we make for the cooking little perod they make sheim you make the little barbecue can you bring the the skewers give me one of those please give me give me a couple of them but make sure you heat them up on the fire I need them now when the Holy talim the students of the rabbis they not like you guys ask 900 questions of why I have water and not cocacola they don't ask any questions what do they do they do whatever the rabbi said because they were rabbis I'm just a student now they go there he brings a little skew with now it's hot as lava this thing is red here the rabbi takes the two of them and puts them in his eyes makes himself go blind why to avoid sinning once in his life was in such shock he fell off he fell down he fell down ran upstairs what happened to this guy what did you do to me why did you send me this I didn't send you you want to say it by yourself it's not normal it's not human he doesn't belong on Earth I told you you're wasting your time I told you you're wasting your time now go go to him go to and tell him that I'm gonna heal him the angel Rael appears to the raav he's like oh I'm here to heal you no no no no tell hem I don't want to be healed because I don't know if I'm able to withstand the test again the Mal Rafael the angel Rafael goes back up to Shem says he rejected he's not interested in your help AEM because he says uh he's not he doesn't know if he's able to withstand such a test again Hashem starts laughing and enjoying his creation and he says tell my son that I promise him he will never have that test ever again he sends the angel and he says hasem promises he'll never give you that test again says okay then you can heal me that's a lover of hem guys that's a person that loves hem forget just about his kadus and the Holiness of this person how much Torah he knew and so on that's a person that really loves hem he loves him so much that he doesn't care about having eyes to to care about just for us to uh you know not be cheap anymore and not be arrogant anymore not be angry anymore Forget About Eyes basic basic human nature so the next step is to make sure that a person watches his eyes if you watch your eyes then you're watching the windows the windows that enter your soul if you're watching your eyes and you're filling your brain up with with Kus with tah then you've already achieved most of the battle most of the battle the last part is critical the last part is part that's both required for both your chuva in regards to make you stop it become more successful and also in order for you to repent for the previous sins because you still wasted seed in the past and that is to do kiru whether you want to do kiru directly by speaking or giving out CDs or paying for them or whatever it is you have to do something to do kiru to get other people to stop because that makes up for the sin that you've made in the past plus once you get involved in kiru on a regular basis then your prayers and your request especially when your request is to do the will of hem has VIP treatment in in sh because as the Prophet Jeremiah says if you bring a precious person from a someone that's a lugard meaning you help other people do CH you will be like my mouth whatever comes out of your mouth if it's a prayer I'll fulfill what hasem says so doing kiru is a critical key to success of course in wasting SE Chua as well as any other CH but especially in wasting seed since in this generation there are more than one two three four five or 10 rabbis that are that say this is the T this is the tun of the entire generation to such an extent the Z kados says that at the generation of mashia the tun will be wasting seed to such a point that the yet will prefer to give people the thought and the idea that they are actually that they're actually people that know a lot of Tor and he will even help them he will even help them learn Tor go to go TOA write a book do all these things do all F fill the entire Tor except continue wasting seed the yet will help them do that why once they waste seed none of their me count once a person Wast seed all of the all of the that he generates from shab all of the other things all of that power all of thata is now used as fuel for the Satan every one of his is now a for the Satan why that's the that's that's that that is the Covenant and that's what the Z says the point being is that it's very very important and you can do it you can achieve it have helped a lot of people stop it it's not easy and of course for all you single guys you have to get married stop wasting your time stop being too picky stop looking for uh Mrs America stop looking for sah menu find a woman that's decent that could tolerate you and that's also nice and is Holy and is willing to be modest and that's it you don't have to find Mali you also don't have to wait until you're 90 years old or 35 years old or any years old as soon as hem send you somebody go whether you're 20 or 25 or 35 or 45 don't be one of these people say no no I'm not ready where are you not ready what do you mean you're not ready no I don't have a million dollars yet okay who says you're ever going to have a million dollars who says that my the woman that hasm wants for you is going to wait also for you what you think he's going to make a way because you want to wait people think that hem Works according to their tune he dances around their tune as soon as you have an opportunity as soon as you find a holy woman a holy B is go don't waste your time you you're missing life you don't understand how important it is to have your other half without having a wife you're an incomplete Soul you're an incomplete soul don't be one of these idiots that's waiting to test out this field and and date for for 10 years before he decides to get married get married do what you have to do bring children to the world B I'm telling you I'm telling you something that I never knew myself before I had kids I thought I understood what love was because I led my wife a lot and I still do more today than ever before but I never understood what love really means until we had a child because when you love somebody you love them you care about them they're amazing if you have a healthy relationship you see the other person as literally yourself you see him as the other half of you but when you have a child when you have a child you literally see something different what's different for the first time in your life you actually start caring about somebody else's life not that you care about them and hopefully they're doing good and you like them and their character traits and if they're nice or they're not nice if they're generous or not generous or if they no no you actually care about whether they're alive or dead like you actually start checking the baby like oh he's breathing okay that's it that that that gives you pleasure the fact that you know that your little girl is sleeping but and she's breathing and she's good and she's happy she just eat a little hot dog and a little French fries and she has a she just fell but she's okay and she's jumping up and she smiled says I love you ABA and you see the little cute little girl going like this like her mommy on on Shabbat with the candles little two-year-old going like this with the candles and you see what the twoy old with 30y olds don't want twoy old unbelievable you see this little holy little thing it's like it's so amazing AEM it's so amazing it's so amazing how you created such things and you give it to me then you understand what love is and then you look at your wife that gave you this child say now I know I love you you gave me this too that's the thing you're staying single for what what to be miserable oh I didn't find the one what there's no girls in the world they ran out of people they ran everybody has a except you of course there's girls it's just that people are too picky people are too picky they want they think they're too much they think they're the best they think they're better than everybody else no one's good enough of them this one's too old this one's too young this one's too long this one's too short this one's too fat this one's too skinny this one's too smart this one's too this one's less all this nonsense baseless hatred for absolutely no reason whatsoever if you really want it Hashem will give it to you if you really want it if you don't want it why you looking why are you looking so that is the system of how to strategically stop wasting seed learning Torah watching your eyes get married and and do kir that's a a foolproof system of course once you do all of this you'll succeed you'll have not only a full of success but you'll also have a CH of CH full of love you fall in love with hm because you'll see all the wonderful things he gave you yeah yes so when you have when a person has a uh a wet dream if you call it in uh that is a sin but it's not the same sin as a person doing it on purpose whether with a woman he's not allowed to be with or even with his wife in an inappropriate way or by himself that's considered M that's considered a purposeful sin but when a person just simply goes to sleep and it comes out because either he had a dream or some type of uh thing then there's a way to to a to stop that as well number one watching your eyes that's what the gar talking about says when you watch your eyes on a consistent basis eventually those dreams will stop also says that you must sleep on your side to start the night at the very least some people say the whole night but even though you don't have control of yourself but at the very least you must sleep on your side you should start with your left side and then later on turn to your right side do not ever sleep on your back and do not ever sleep on your stomach to such an extent the makes law from Mount if you see your fellow sleeping on his back you must you're obligated to wake him up obligated to wake him up just like you're obligated to tell him that he's not allow to drive on Shabbat you obligate to wake him up hey you're sleeping on your back why because if he's sleeping on his back his chances of wasting seed during his sleep have increased drastically he's become a danger to himself even unknowingly so you to wake him up or if you want to push him to the side better to just simply wake him up in a nice way hey buddy get up for a second get up what what happened no no just checking and tell him listen you have to sleep on your side and that's it you're actually helping him out you're saving his life because it's still a sin even if he's sleeping it's not as great a sin it's not as Grave of a sin but it's still a sin now if a person has has built has learned and has built first he's going to watch his eyes then he's going to watch his sleep pattern how he sleeps he's going to start training himself it's not as comfortable to sleep on your side as it is on your back but you'll manage you'll live trust me it works you won't die no one ever died by sleeping on their side no one ever died by not looking at girls no one ever died by not as a matter of fact they lived they lived for much longer so you can do it you can sleep on your side and you could watch you breathe that way and then you will see that eventually the recurrence of these dreams that causes you to uh become stimulated uh will cease they'll be become less frequent in the beginning they'll go from being once a week to once a month from once a month to once a quarter once a quarter to maybe twice a year and eventually they'll stop hopefully cease all together cease all together uh but that's assuming that you've done a lot of chuva if you've done a lot of chuva then you are going to be very very happy with your share because once a person is protecting his breit he has now made himself a vessel to get all of the good from hasem directly he's no longer wasting any of the good that hem wants to give him hasem wants to give you shefa shefa is goodness is good now he gives you good in all forms he gives you in money a woman uh jobs kids and so on now when a man waste seed he takes all of the good that Hashem gives him and Sh he throws it in the garden garbage so all the money that hasm wanted to give you garbage the wife that he wanted to give you garbage he's now gives it to somebody else the uh the uh the kids he want to give you garbage they're abortions now the things that all the things that he want to give you you are self-destructing them why because you couldn't control yourself for 5c pleasure now once you actually stop you do pasu I'm not going to do this anymore I'm going to sleep on the side I'm going to watch my I'm going to do all these things I'm going to try it doesn't work overnight not no one's perfect but you're doing everything and eventually you get to a point before too long that you've officially stopped doing it on purpose and definitely eventually you've stopped even unintentionally then now all of a sudden you start seeing there's no more bounce checks in the bank all of a sudden you're seeing you found a all of a sudden you're seeing oh wow she had a kid my wife had a kid they thought the doctor said we couldn't have kids now we have kids how it's a miracle no it's not a miracle it's AEM running the world everything's a miracle now all of the she all of the goodness that hem gives you you are now just accepting it like this give me give me give me give me you don't have say give me anymore why he's giving it to you constantly and you're now no longer wasting it he was giving to you anyway but you were wasting it now you're not wasting it so you get to keep it you get to keep the wife the kids the money the everything all the good all of a sudden your mind works and you start understanding the Torah all of a sudden your mind works and you start getting and everything starts becoming better you become happier you become healthier andm a lot of really good things happen in your life yeah as a what is theer procedure to in about Jewish people are supposed to go to aan I someone that uh can connect them to a uh appropriate woman in today's world there's something called a shid resume as sad as it sounds that's unfortunately where we're at uh people are so picky they are not even willing to meet each other unless they meet specific requirements almost like a job hunt even though it's ludicrous ridiculous and so on this is the world we live in going against it is not going to help you so might as well just go with the flow there's certain battles you just you know got a pick uh so you make yourself a shid resume you put a decent picture of yourself on the resume uh you are honest about yourself you don't have to write a Milla of uh you know 16 pages one page is enough nice picture of yourself don't put a picture of yourself uh you know on your car that doesn't belong to you don't put a picture of yourself on the beach to show off your cubes uh don't put a picture of yourself in an in modest way very simple head shot just your face the Le less is more here whatever you want to put your your your a little more than just your face you can but again remember it's a uh it's not ideal your face is enough be honest about yourself have some decent references that actually know you don't just write yeah I know R yashiv why I read his book in 1988 like what how do you know this Rabbi oh yeah I know ra keski how do you know yeah I went to see him one time three three years ago so he knows you don't like what come on people need to be realistic with themselves put a reference on your sh someone that actually knows you can vouch for your character whe you know if it's a family member it should be one family member and maybe a couple of other people that are not family members that are not biased and be honest with by yourself what you want is very very important Define what you want if you don't know what you want don't write a shid resume don't go on a shid if you don't know what you want you're not ready for a you have to know what you want you have to know what you're attracted to you're not the basali you're not the Ben don't pretend no I don't even need to see her if she's religious enough for me you're a liar there's no such thing there's no such thing in a in this generation everyone is obligated to see the other person to see if there's chemistry there everyone if you think that you're not you have to have a different Sho it's called mental institution everyone needs to be attracted there's no such thing as not attract no no I I just need to know that she's religious I just need to know that he's religious I don't even need to look at them that's nonsense that's nonsense there's one person in the history of am that was allowed to do it and they said specifically no one else is ever allowed to do such a thing you have to see what they look like and that's it there has to be attraction even more so in our generation of wasting seed nonstop so the point is in a second point is you have to write a shid resume you have to describe briefly briefly one two three sentences of what you're looking for funny smart 59 or less or more or you know blonde hair blue eyes whatever basic things that you're looking for without being provocative or disgusting uh you know being be you know always realize imagine this is your daughter and someone just s a shid resume for you for your daughter don't just think about yourself oh no that's I'm being honest I'm being honest so I want to I want to make sure that I want to know what broad size she's going to have like people are disgusting that perverted thoughts remember this is going to be your daughter one day someone's going to give you a shid resume don't write perverted things write kosher things be a kosher person so but this is the reality of the world today people are just have no idea what to write what not to write or they write a sh resume the name the address the number uh his height his weight and he's religious that's it this is like a this toilet paper why because every rejects why because he's so picky but he didn't write it so you have to write who you are you have to write what you're looking for you have to put a picture on it because everyone is going to be judgmental of how you look regardless of whether they're religious or not and you are also going to be judgmental of how they look you have to be real you know realistic and honest about your own religion iOS it and what you're expecting and do not do not expect to find someone that is so much better than you meaning if you are six don't look for tens if you just started keeping Shabbat don't look for somebody that has a relationship with uh the lineage of DAV and has a tenant religiosity like be normal be le don't know where you stand Hashem will give you exactly what you deserve the page 2A the beginning of the says a person gets exact exactly what is whatever his actions are is what hasem gives him if he's a r he gets a immodest woman if he's a tadik he gets a modest woman why because if he's a tadik is's going to get a modest woman because if she's modest then most likely she's righteous if he's aash then he's going to get immodest woman why because if she's immodest then she's definitely not righteous and she fits him cuz he's a r also so that those are things that you put you put in a resume and you give it to a most of theim do it for money be prepared to pay the money usually it's a based in success ratio uh sometimes you know you're going to feel like oh wait you know the I gave it to him and I'm already waiting for a month and he hasn't given me anything yeah he has a million like you so so be smart give it to a bunch of them don't give it to one there's no excl it's not it's not a sports agent there's no exclusivity here give it to a bunch of them whoever finds you the mate first good give it to your Rabbi also give it to your friends give it to whoever knows you and can vouch for you and says listen if I know somebody give my sh resume that way you've put your you put yourself out there and most importantly do CH and pray for hem to help you pray for hem to help you get this shidu because if hasem helps you then you'll succeed and you won't have to be tortured being alone until you're in your 40s and 50s like some of my friends I have some friends that are still in their mid-40s and one of them actually just got closer to 50 and he's still single still looking for the right one unfortunately looking at clubs and pubs and in Cuba and in the uh Bahamas and all of these Resorts that's where he's looking for the right one so he's gonna continue looking continue looking every week is a different right one so that's a person that's going to be lonely and most likely uh you know miserable for the rest of his life don't be one of those people there's a lot of them today so with that being said you go toan they're professional whatever you have to obviously be honest with them they have to be honest with you in regards to how much it cost don't expect anything for free don't expect anything for free can take anywhere from $500 to $1,000 to as much as $15,000 for whatever it is it is pay it because according to you're not allowed to get married until you pay the if you married then you're just a thief and many times there is a uh you have the payment has to come from both sides both the woman and the man so you have to know what's the deal don't find don't get the find fall in love everything is great and then oh how much is it oh it's 10,000 I can't afford 10,000 too bad you can't afford 10,000 go borrow the money so the point is you have to know what's going on ahead of time don't be a fool you same way you ask how much the car is before you take it out of the lot ask is it a th bucks okay I can afford a th bucks if it's million dollars I can't afford a million dollars whatever it is be honest expect them that's it that's the way it is um but you only have to pay once their success not just for them sending you emails of people uh that's it but that's that's the appropriate way yeah so you said that that don't wait until you're not until you're ready to as possible when you know the person that you actually you know what you're looking for so my question is how do you so let's say you don't know what you're looking for will it come to you that you will know what you're looking for or God will give you that knowledge depends on your level of chuva uhm will give you exactly what you what you deserve it's mid it's measure for measure so if your chuva is real and you're protecting your breed and you keep Shabbat and you're honest and you're developing and you learn M and you learn T and so on and so forth then you are doing all of the prerequisites in order to get a kosher woman and a kosher woman is going to be given to you that's not only kosher in action but also is is pretty in your eyes it's pretty in your eyes he's not going to send you a little Gargamel with horns coming out of the sides and just because she's modest everyone can put a garbage pill on top of themselves and be modest but you have to be attractive you have to have children with these people so the point is is that of course Hem Hem is merciful meaning he's not only merciful in a sense that he's not g punishment and all those things also merciful where he gives us the ability to enjoy his creation he's merciful by giving us taste buds so all the food doesn't taste the same imagine all the food in the world tasted the same imagine there was no colors there was only gray everything was gray imagine everyone looked the same there was no face differences what a miserable world it would be okay so that part of hashem's mercy and love for his creation is to give you beautiful things so if your chu is real you'll get a beautiful woman for you specifically and that's it she doesn't need to be beautiful in everybody else's eyes if you're looking for a woman that's going to be beautiful in everybody else's eyes then you still still haven't done chuva you haven't begun step one but if you've done chuva and you're looking for one be beautiful in your eyes and good in your eyes that's it you've already won the lot you've already won everything that you possibly can but again a lot of people look but they're looking in the wrong way they're looking the wrong way the wrong the wrong places the wrong everything it all starts with chuva it all starts with ch when you do chuv will help you with everything else in your life whether it be children or a wife or a husband or anything else it'll come exactly when it's supposed to sometimes you think you're M you're ready to do something you think you're ready to get married but Hashem says no you're not ready why you still need another five six months of XYZ a few other experiences I'm going to send you over these next five six months you need those experiences in order to be ready as a wife you order to be ready as a husband you need those experiences so yes you think you're ready to be a wife but you're not going to be ready until you go through this you're not going to be ready a husband until you go through this so and sometimes people get uh much faster some people blater the point is that the more a person connects to AEM the easier his life becomes the easier her life becomes because then they're not going to Hashem with complaints ohm how come you didn't give me this how come you didn't give me this don't come to hem with complaints why because they know that everything is everything is a free gift anyway everything is a free gift anyway the fact that you're breathing is a free gift and that's what said you pray to hasem pray already with the mindset that you don't deserve anything and everything that you're getting is free everything in essence is undeserved but he's giving it to you anyway yes we're here ask for anything know right no you should ask for thing okay so let's elaborate no let's elaborate a little bit more about prayer so says that a person should not rely on their own their own merits to think that they deserve anything in the world we just read that from the so you should not think that oh I deserve this I deserve this because I learn x amount of time and I protect my breed and I'm modest and I'm this and I'm that so therefore I deserve this don't ever go to AEM with a bill why you don't deserve anything so first and foremost understand you don't deserve anything nothing zero everything the fact that you exist is already more than you deserve me you everybody so that's one don't come to Hashem and say oh I did this so therefore you owe me this false he doesn't owe you anything once you have that then you already have a good understanding second thing is realize that whatever you're asking for he doesn't owe you so if you ask somebody for something because they owe it to you there's a way of asking in essence when they owe it to you demanding give me ZEM give me this why work for you when you feel like he owes it to you the way you're asking is almost like demanding it's almost like commanding it's almost like o we've changed positions we've changed roles you became the master and you have a problem when you're asking because because you asking because it's a free gift because you realize you don't deserve anything then what is telling you I'm begging why I don't deserve it but please where else am I going to go please I don't deserve the kids and the wife and the food and I don't deserve anything but where else am I going to go you're my you're my God you're my father you're my everything I love you please Hashem help me so you're asking not because you deserve but because there's no place else for you to go at that point oh wow what a wonderful prayer you have my son my daughter you want something I'll give you I'll give you two just stop crying just stop cry I'll give you anything you want stop crying I love you why because now the roles are right now the roles are right now you have a good understanding and you can pray for anything you want but of course evaluate what you pray don't pray for a baseball team to win like if you're already going to spend your time praying just think about it you're talking to Hashem you're talking to the King of Kings if you are going to talk to the president of the United States what are you you gonna talk to them about a baseball team you have nothing you've run out of words that's what you're G to talk to him about you going to talk to him about a baseball team is that really what you're going to talk you going to talk about the stock market really that's what you have meeting you have a five minute meeting with the president of the US the president of Israel the president of Hamas the president of whatever country you want whatever five minutes you have with them that's when you can talk to about the bombs you can talk to about the stock market you talk to about the that's what you can talk weather oh it's nice outside so what it's nice outside tomorrow is not nice outside that's what you're going to spend your five minutes with the president that's what you're going to do no right because you're smart you're not going to do such a stupid thing so why are you doing it with hem why is spending your five minutes oh Hashem please make my baseball team hit a home run so the guy next year can make a bigger contract and make more money he's not going to share with me and then and then he can go to a different team and then I'm going to hate him because then he's going to beat the team that I like like what are you praying for at least spend your time praying for something meaningful pray Hashem give me AIT give me the truth clearly in my eyes hem give me AEM give me a z hhm give me a son give me a daughter healthy give me Health give me Comfort give me give me give me something meaningful I could do something with I only have five minutes with you hem please I'm not going to waste it give me and but aside from that also say thank you don't forget to say thank you start with thank you then ask so that way you're gonna spend your time in a valuable way in a valuable way talking to hem you're can ask for things that are going to connect you to him and of course Hashem is going to give you not just what you want but what you need more so what you need than what you want because many times we don't really know what's right and wrong many times we think that we need something that Hashem knows is bad for us and schl actually prayed to hem to not fulfill our prayers for things that are against our own interest even if we want them so if somebody prays for Allah of money and hem knows that this person if he has a lot of money he turn into today's tomorrow is just add a million bucks to his account so SCH prayed a special prayer to hem to not answer those prayers if he knows for sure that that person cannot pass that test don't give it to him don't give it to him so you could pray for whatever you want hasm is going to give you whatever you need but the point being is that know that you should spend your time in a very useful way talking to hasm he's the king of kings don't waste it yeah right so I just want to clarify that because you said a couple and ar anding oh I'm sorry I'm sorry I misspoke yes sorry I misspoke that's so it says you should be careful with your with your words so yes you are supposed to ask forem for everything every single thing that happens in your life whether it's to get to the store on time or to get to the appointment on time or to uh to be healthy or to watch your eyes everything you're supposed to talk to hm in every aspect but that's why I say every aspect meaning something that's useful not every aspect where people take it too far where they start asking for stupid things which I would all do respect to those people that like sports it's a completely Greek mentality that's considered stupid to to to wait there in front of a stadium of 50 60 70,000 people waiting for a rock to hit a piece of uh a piece of wood and and cross over another place and that's what you're praying for listen the fact that you enjoy the sport good for you you want to enjoy the sport fine you enjoy a bunch of people kicking a soccer ball or kicking a football fine enjoy it that's one thing that's already a that's already a lack but now you're praying for it too you understand what I'm saying whatever you want to want you want to waste I don't know everybody's allowed to waste a little bit of of time in their life because there a in the world you want to I don't know waste 10 minutes a half hour of your life every day or every year or whatever it is to watch one of these nonsensical things there's never a permission to do it but if you're already going to do it do it that way but don't pray for it you understand there's a difference is that that that's when it turns into fanaticism that's when it turns into and and you want to you know so that's the thing a person needs to pray for things that are meaningful that's that's the point but in general yes you should talk to hem about everything in your life but that's how you also monitor whether the things in your life are meaningful or not if every time you're praying to hasem you're praying for him to give you a bubble gum then obviously there's a problem with your life it's not just a problem with has it's a problem with your life your life is full of bubblegum but if if you're praying for different things to whether it's to make Thea or to make a Shabbat good or to make your husband happy or to make your wife happy or whatever it is or P or kids or health or so on it's fine no problem what the purpose of your life is simple purpose of your life there there's a general purpose and there's a there's a um uh individualistic purpose general purpose for all of am for all of creation is to sanctify aem's name for the Jews sanctifying his name begins with doing everything that it says in the T so you have to look at the tah and see where you're at in comparison to what you're obligated to do if you're a non-jew then you have to look at the Torah and see what you're obligated to do and see where you're at that's a general that's a general a uh requirement for all of creation individualistic is something that's more Dynamic it changes at times because of age because of the time of your life in general if you're already fulfilling the first one your general obligation then your individual obligation is going to be easier to see why because you're going to see where you have hurdles where you have difficulties and usually the things that are most difficult for you are an indication from Hashem that that is part of your ultimate purpose not necessarily the ultimate purpose for you cuz your ultimate purpose may change over time this may just be a preparation for the ultimate purpose but indeed those things that are the most difficult for you to fix are the ones that you need to do so if let's say for example a woman is willing to keep Shabbat willing to keep kosher everything but she cannot be modest she wants to wear uh mini skirt she wants to wear clothes that are a second layer of skin she wants to be that way then obviously it's difficult for her to do it but that's her tun that's what she has to fix if a guy is a very good at learning he's very good at praying he's very good at this he's very good at that but he Wast seed but he steals a little bit but he uh whatever other sin he has he looks at places he's not supposed to look or he gambles or he cheats or he lies whatever it is and it's difficult for him to fix it then that is more in line with that being his purpose meaning is is is part of his bigger Mission the most difficult things are the ones that are the reason why you came as a reincarnation because that's what you weren't able to fix or you didn't succeed in fixing your previous Carnation uh but as you grow and as you overcome certain tests Hashem will give you other ones that he didn't give you at that time because you simply couldn't handle those tests until you beat this level meaning a big difference is that when you play video games and you know when you're a kid like I was in a secular world we had little video games and every video games has levels now if you start with let's say this 10 level you start with a seventh level you're not going to be able to advance it all why because a seventh level already requires a certain skill and a certain weapon and a certain thing that you have that you don't have right away you're only going to get those things if you've passed the first seven levels so to skip those seven levels is you know it's not good for you so Hashem is not going to give you those bigger tests until you pass the smaller tests and each time you pass a smaller test you now have an opening a door for the next test and the next test and the next test and the next test and little by little you become more and more righteous closer and closer to Hashem and more complete as a human being complete as a Jew and that's the ultimate purpose for you in this world is to become a complete person and of course if you're paying attention to hashem's word then of course he's going to tell you how and who and what and when he doesn't have to speak to you in words he could speak to you in actions you'll see oh regardless of uh you know of uh whether I know or don't know oh right now I don't have any P problems okay so that's not the issue right now I don't have any house problems okay so that's not the issue right now my only issue is that I don't learn a lot okay so obviously that's the issue you fix your learning and all of a sudden gives you a new test and you have i p problems so says okay now you have to use those learning that you had to have to have that the par problems will go away that'll fix it and after you overcome that test then all of a sudden you have some other tests so the things that are not so difficult for you right now doesn't mean they're never going to be difficult for you the things that are easy for you now doesn't mean they're always going to be easy for you the test of life is dynamic as you go through time you'll have different experiences different difficulties and those difficulties are life people that are looking for easy life are simply looking for death there is no such thing as easy life doesn't matter how much money you has doesn't matter how much anything there's no such thing as easy life easy life means death means you're in a 3X six that's the only thing it's easy but even then it's becomes more difficult anything else let head up tomorrow night we are somewhere I think the other I don't know which place we are I'll just I'll look at the past like you do I always make the mistake tomorrow we'll finish the m in 520 and uh find out what what else can we learn about while we can learn about debates for sh for not for sh and so on and so forth but amen amen [Music] [Applause] [Music]