Advice For Highly Sensitive People

hi Rabbi hi I'm quite new to your channel to be honest and uh it's my first time calling in into any podcast okay can you believe I've never I've never call I've never called into a podcast so you have more experience calling into someone no I've never so you have more experience calling into a podcast than I do so I'm GNA follow your lead what's up yeah what's up talk to me so don't being straight into my topic uh last week I mentioned in the chat that I am a I've been identified as a highly sensitive person it's a new term that I've personally never really heard of until last year yeah HS highly sensitive person yeah yes exactly and uh I mentioned I have trouble throughout my life until now as well with feeling very intense emotions sometimes don't even know what to do with them and uh I did watch a few clips of your shorts about it hence I found out of your channel okay um so I'm just wondering what advice would you have for me to [Music] um I guess to manage through my life with being a sensitive person first of all to continue doing what you started doing which which was educating yourself that's how you found my channel you were looking for information about this and it's a blessing that this information even exists today cuz once upon a time and not so not so uh long ago there was no information so continue educating yourself um but you know I spoke about to a caller an earlier caller about about self- advocating self- advocating is just so so powerful um like I'll give you another example cuz you talk about highly sensitive um you know like let's say I don't know if this is a particular issue that you have but like you ever feel like a social outing is is is just overwhelming not for any particular reason just like it's your social battery gets drained and it's like you just need to go be back by yourself and you're a Fortress of Solitude absolutely okay fine so self- advocating is knowing how to communicate that in a way that other people can choose to accommodate or not in other words sometimes we force ourselves to do things that we really aren't comfortable doing and we end up paying the price and the people we associate with end up paying the price it's like when you're a people pleaser and you make too many commitments and then you let people down so you know when you say yeah sure let's have plans cuz you want you know you want to be nice and then the reality is you're going to go out there and you're going to get drained and you're going to start being a grump or you're going to act weird and then then what was the point so self- advocating is so big it's like you know what I'm really up for getting together for coffee for a half an hour is how's that sound to you and if the person's like getting together for half an hour not even worth it it takes me a half an hour to even to get to your side of town okay no problem no problems then we don't have to do anything no problem and no no offense like I'm not offended hope you're not offended but self- advocating is really important just be realistic about what you're comfortable with and and be honest with yourself and be honest with others that's that's a huge thing that's a huge thing and um right and I've been trying to implement that more throughout bits and pieces of My Life um and I I suppose this is the latter half of my question because uh I'm also trying to explain my more sensitive side to my mom and my husband for instance because they're the two closest people in my family to me um sometimes I don't feel or think that they truly completely understand what I'm talking about but more on the cognitive side they do understand but not quite on the emotional side and I understand that uh TR to force them or change them or whatnot but I hope that they can understand a bit more feel a bit more sometimes of how I feel and I do try to verbalize as much as I can give them a full of picture so uh yeah that's uh that's another part that I I probably want some advice as well yeah okay they try their best the cater yeah yeah ah relationships are tough relationships are tough and and especially if you're a sensitive person um yeah we had a call a caller earlier who I was mentioning that concept of a neurodiverse marriage where she's neurodivergent her husband is neurotypical and thank God it sounded like they were happily married but um you know relationships are are tough for everyone but especially when the two people are going two different speeds and on two different wavelengths and have two different ways of processing reality and two different levels of of of of of energy and two different levels of what they're comfortable with and it's uh it's tough listen all I can tell you is what I said before about self- advocating the more clear you can be the better uh clear doesn't mean obnoxious it doesn't mean like you're bossing people around doesn't mean like you're tell well this is the way that I need ad uh it just means being honest now until you know what your needs are you can't even be honest so like I mentioned to you continue educating yourself because the more you understand yourself the more you know what your needs are and then step two is now be honest about it and I really think if you just continue to understand yourself and communicate your needs honestly that you you will reach an understanding with the people who are close to you in your life and this is all very new to you like you're telling me you you really just this is like the past year that this is all happening so there's a there's a very steep learning curve and uh you're still you you're still learning you're still finding your way but just continue to seek knowledge seek Clarity be gentle with yourself that's a big thing be gentle with yourself and accepting of yourself um push yourself to grow but don't break yourself never never be right or shame yourself um just be respectful and gentle toward yourself and and be honest with others and be gentle with them as well yeah I think I think those are helpful I love how that absolutely really helpful and I love how you put where um the analogy of two different people going at different speeds yeah my husband actually recently got diagnosed with ADHD so it explains a little more sometimes he's not neurotypical so you're both weirdos but you're two different kinds of weirdos Hashem has such a sense of humor exactly okay it's going to be great you're going to figure each other out and you're going to figure out how to communicate your needs there's going to be an understanding and it's all going to be great it's going to be great don't worry fear not thank you so much my pleasure really my my pleasure and my honor okay I have other calls coming in one second one second yeah hi are you calling in right now okay try again on that number that I gave you oh actually wait can you call me back in like no one second no no on that other number that 516 number wait can you call me in 15 minutes is that okay okay um one second Michael welcome Michael's on the show Rabbi how are you bem thank God how are you doing I'm doing very well well glad to hear it hi Melissa welcome hello hi there hi thanks for having me on tonight it's our pleasure welcome to the show thank you Rabbi great to be here hey there how you doing uh doing well longtime listener for some caller thanks for taking me hello hey there you're on the air we'd like to extend a special thank you to mle Simon and 9x9 tech for powering this call-in show and making it possible for us to connect with our amazing audience 9x9 Tech offers a one stop service for all your communication needs along with personalized Tech Solutions catered specifically towards your business visit 9 by9 tech.com today that's 9x9 tech.com thank you mle and the team for your incredible support hey this is shase tab you were just watching a clip from this class if you want to get the full context the full class that this clip that you just 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