Advice for an Extreme Introvert | Letter #30

good evening and goodyumptive happy birthday to all of us it's you know of Nissan and this is our 30th and final letter not our final letter ever because surely we will continue learning egress but our final letter for this preparation for you and hopefully the letters that we have studied until now have helped us to spend this day in a in a fitting way and to continue in through the night this is our for some of us this is our yudal Nissan fabrangin so welcome to the unofficial on my seltzer okay uh before we begin I want to dedicate tonight's class to a good friend somebody who is a big fan of this initiative somebody who loves the rebe and loves learning the rabbis Torah and gets special enjoyment from sharing that up his title with the world mayor Eliezer Ben razor Rifka and his wife Masha that's uh my friend uh mayor schmuckler from Los Angeles and we are wishing him a happy birthday specifically all of us should have a happy birthday and specifically my friend mayor schmuckler should have a happy birthday okay let's jump into tonight's letter Hashem and by the way you're wondering why am I wishing everybody a happy birthday um maybe we'll talk about that at the end of tonight's class but yes today is everybody's birthday okay the latter here is from the 19th of ello that is writing to a woman because it says blessings and greetings foreign I'm hereby acknowledging receipt of your undated letter that I would always know which the date was of the letter that he received and if it wasn't dated the devil would make note of that in which you write about your mats of ruach mats of ruach we have here translated psychological state which is a good translation you could also say your mood your temperament your emotional well-being so apparently um this woman wrote to the web about how she's feeling and she wrote about a specific issue that she's having regarding um you know in 1959 when the letter was written I don't think they would use this language but in 2023 you might call it social anxiety um you might call it a case of being an extreme introvert and uh that's what she's telling the rabbit is her struggle and let's find out more foreign I believe I've already written to you many times who is this lucky woman to whom the rabbit has written many times can you believe that not just once many means more than once so we don't know who this is we don't know the name of the person who received this letter but she was very lucky she got many letters from the rabbit so I know you could take that as like sort of a Sharp critique I've told you this many times but I'm more distracted by the incredible Merit that this person had to receive repeated correspondences from the Revis so to me that's grabbing my attention a little bit more than that I've been saying hey I told you this already at any rate I told you many times that according to my opinion and I have seen this in reality it's very interesting by the way sets this up as something that is verified by experience um you know there are truths that we receive especially a a believing Jew uh who believes in the not only absolute validity of Torah but that all knowledge and all wisdom is contained within totah um there is a place for making an argument based on Authority it's how they would refer to it in terms of rhetoric um and and to just invoke the authority of Torah and say this is what Terror says it's interesting um when that's not the argument when the argument is based on um empirical evidence albeit not you know scientifically uh analyzed I guess you would call this anecdotal evidence but anyway it was interesting to me that the Reba says that this is my opinion and it's based on something that I've seen many times and by the way I don't know what a an adequate sample size would be if if we were looking at this scientifically but uh how vast do you think the lab is anecdotal experience is in other words just from the letters that we've learned this past 30 days we've gotten a glimpse into the and I'm not I'm not even talking about the the spiritual stuff how the dev is connected with every single nashama I'm saying just bidas just from the very uh on a very simple level how many lives did that interact with in a in a very close manner so if the Rebecca says I've seen this yeah that ever has seen this you know that has a a a large sample size of uh people and cases to to draw a conclusion from okay call of them here it is everyone that's strong that's a categorical statement Cult of them not comma Bene Adam many people no call on them every person Yates him in a cloud whatever doubles down without an exception [Laughter] you know sometimes you read a letter that the devil wrote to somebody else and you say could it really also apply to me I mean it's very interesting how that answers a person but could I apply it to me you know who knows there's different types of people different personalities different situations so maybe it maybe I can't necessarily extrapolate something that I've told somebody else uh to me in my situation but here that ABBA says everyone without one exception okay so I guess it does apply to me and to you and you and you and you and to all of us okay what is it what is it is inherently social is by nature a social being a social creature okay that is human nature we are innately um bound to seek out and to require human interaction to be a part of a society can move on like although as understood it is not equal by everyone that's important to understand of course there's a spectrum of course there's a a scale not everyone is equally uh social however this is what I'm understanding I think it's very fairly clear that as wide as that spectrum is even on the extreme end like if you have on one end someone who's really really really really social and is constantly uh seeking out interaction with others maybe someone we would call today an extrovert who's energized by a human interaction that's on one extreme and then you have the opposite extreme even that person on the opposite extreme is still a social being in other words that I was saying there's no such thing as someone who's truly by Nature a recluse and a Hermit who can really live in isolation doesn't exist even the extreme and I don't think I'm at the extreme but I'm pretty close to it so I'm feeling this letter right now I mean I I mean I learned it already I prepared it before I taught it to you and uh yeah I could definitely relate to this on a personal level um you know sometimes I do think what do I need human human interaction for like today I was at the aisle most of the day where else should I be at off Nissan got back from Mexico this morning it's so good to be back in Soul word Studios isn't it so nice to be back here um but it was great Shabbos in Mexico City was great um and actually I mentioned in my class last night matsushabis at the hotel of Mexico City I said and maybe I'll see some of you at the aisle and then today at the oil actually a friend of mine uh should I mention who it is from uh Penn come out on campus at the University of Pennsylvania so he came over to me and said my son wants to tell you something he's standing next to this his son and his son says you said last night on the share that you might see some of us at the aisle so I I heard it and now I'm seeing you so came true uh at any rate so I was at the aisle all day today and it is hard for me it's very crowded people come over and they want to talk and they want to interact and people say nice things in fact it was pretty good for a laboratory crowd I don't think I got any negative critique you know Laboratories like that you know the vouchers are a tough crowd so I don't think I got any negative feedback all day it was all positive stuff but it's tough you know it is it it takes a lot out of me it takes a lot of energy out of me to have interactions with people so so I'm feeling this letter at any rate so the debit says every human being is a social being by Nature without any exception and although there's a a scale um even the extreme person who needs it the least still needs it okay if somebody attempts to live or to conduct themselves in a way that runs counter to that nature now I think um yeah I think that you do know that this is one of the Reba's um themes that there is such a thing as the way that a human being functions and when we try to override that we cause dysfunction there are many examples of that one example I'm thinking of is a letter that we had earlier in the 30 days where the devil said that people who have talents need to use them and if they don't use them uh it causes dysfunction so people need to be social even the person who needs it the least still needs it and if you attempt to conduct yourself in a way that runs counter to that innate need what's going to happen uh moving Shazam maybe Lee day it is the rabbit calls it here in Yiddish complications you know that is complications and the like in other words dysfunction you're gonna cause yourself problems you weren't built to be a Hermit and if you try to live that way even though social interaction is hard for you you're going to actually cause yourself problems arvos now for those people for whom for whatever reason it is difficult for them to mingle among other human beings in other words they have this basic need the need didn't go away however at the same time it's difficult for them when they are meeting that need there is no other advice I I really I'm struck by again the categorical statement that ABBA doesn't say here's anatsa a suggestion you might want to try this that ever says this categorically if first of all categorical statement every human being needs social interaction if you try to run counter to that you're going to cause yourself problems God forbid if it's hard for you there is no other solution than what is it there's the uh there's no other way than the way you learn how to swim the only way to learn is to do it to go into the water you could not have a swimming teacher write a bunch of uh sentences on the chalkboard maybe even write some diagrams show you some pictures and then say now swim the only way to learn how to swim is by actually going into the water and doing it even if you stand on the riverbank well I didn't go into the water but I'm very close to it I'm smear us to it the olive leak bites you have to jump into the water the osbadelic melee very interesting term here then automatically automatically automatically Indian you're going to start to learn how to swim and then ultimately you're going to learn it you're going to be able to do it it's very interesting if you go into the water I mean obviously with supervision and it's done safely and all that but you will automatically begin learning now that doesn't mean you'll automatically be good at it it's obviously it's it's a process but the minute you go into the water you already start learning it's very interesting as long as you're standing outside of the water you never begin learning at all but once you go into the into the water you immediately automatically begin learning I mean I'm not saying that you're good at it yet takes time but the learning process at least has begun the minute you enter the water and and whatever doesn't say this explicitly but I I'm I'm thinking here that it's the Marshall the metaphor that I was using obviously it's not about swimming it's not telling you to swim this is a marshall it's a metaphor for learning how to socialize the neighbor said it's a natural thing for a human being so it's sort of like something that happens through exposure automatically like there's something innate within you or instinctive even call it uh that will be engaged but it only it will only be engaged if you go into the situation which forces you to uh to summon up disability so it's very interesting you cannot study uh how to socialize you know how many videos there are on YouTube about social skills and learning how to talk to people and how to socialize and how to have charisma or maybe you don't know because you're not an introvert so the algorithm isn't surfacing that kind of content to you but the algorithm knows the chase Taub is an introvert so every time I go into YouTube It's surfacing this content how to not be absolutely socially inept I get that content all the time okay it doesn't work it doesn't work so those views those those videos have a million views but that's not how to learn how to be social the way to learn is to go hang out with people just like I presume watching videos about swimming isn't going to teach you how to swim but going in the water immediately initiates the the process of learning how to tap into your natural ability to swim you ever seen them throw those babies in the water crazy the infant swimming lessons it's wild I I'm not such an expert in this but so don't do this based on what I'm saying but yeah they they say babies naturally swim they put them in the water like little infants and they swim naturally I I guess though if you wait too long then they don't do it naturally or as naturally then there's a whole process where you have to like learn it more methodically but uh at any rate yeah this is this is our nature and you have to put yourself in the situation and engage that nature okay yeah so all the thinking while you're standing on the riverbank and you're analyzing and you're agitating and you are want another synonym you know I bought the world's worst thesaurus Not only was it terrible it was terrible it was the world's worst thesaurus and perseverating he's standing on the riverbank thinking about swimming how and what and in which way are you going to learn how to swim doesn't help a bit Alabama the only way to learn it is in the water so this woman is talking about uh well that I was going to say clearly in a moment but she's talking about uh analyzing how to become more proficient with dealing with human interaction and that I was telling her that all of that analysis is for naught because that's not how you learn how to do it you only learn from experience so here the devil says it pretty clearly in fact the devil says it so clearly that I've apologized this first for being blunt I think we can learn from that as well so I want to apologize first in advance for about what for what I'm about to say Cain Who bediak Behind again this metaphor about the swimming is exactly your situation is in your latter you bring all these pros and cons back and forth arguments for and against about whether or not you should be in a situation where you're going to have to deal with people but your whole chocolate your whole analysis that you're doing you're doing it from the privacy of your room in other words it is completely removed from the actual situation which is the only place we're gonna actually learn anything and increase your Proficiency in this area so you're sitting in your room in isolation and you're having a whole discussion back and forth yay or nay about socializing it's it's inherently unproductive the number says I I and I apologize for saying this for pointing this out moving the gamposhit IV Musa it is understood and obvious that my intent is not to give muscle you know it means to give most you know uh ethical critique and I think that's also very important because a lot of people tell you well it's good to give Musta no it's not always good to give him a sec I mean sometimes it could be but that I was saying to my not my intent to give you a monster I'm not trying to preach to you I'm not trying to point out to you your your weaknesses that's not what my intent is that's not why I'm telling you this okay so then why is it ever telling her this let's find out Ella but rather Palm foreign I'm trying again remember at the beginning of the rabbit that ever said I've told you this multiple times in the past so that I was saying I'm trying again by the way just uh parenthetically you know what it says about rebuke a Filomena palmen because the hazal asked why is it a double lotion it's like a double rebuking issue rebuke so because I'll say or say just say it means a philome upon even a hundred times so here's award from the rabbit that when you do have to rebuke you should do it so subtly and so soft and gentle that even if it'll take a hundred times before the person even detects the message you should be ready to commit to that slow gentle process the long term rebuke not the hit him over the head with a mallet on the first attempt type of rebuke okay but I was in the middle of saying um I'm not trying to give you more sir but rather I'm trying once again that maybe my words should have an effect maybe this time it'll be the time Asher tick bites let's say Indian s that you should jump into some situation that against your will will force you at least at the beginning it'll be by force to be among people and get out of your house I think that's so powerful Deb is saying I'm not trying to give you muster I'm not trying to tell you what's wrong with you not trying to tell you what Character defects you need to work on I'm just telling you something to do I'm telling you to do something get out of your house and force yourself to be among people it in some ways it's even more more uh foreign ful and blunt than Musser even because the web is not even pointing out Character defects that I was just telling her what to do but in another way it's it's it's very loving in a fatherly way which is you know I'm not trying to get into a big discussion about this with you I'm just telling you okay I'm older I'm wiser I care for you I know you get out of the house that's it that's it I'm just telling you get out of the house and it's very interesting that ABBA says that you should put yourself in a situation that will force you right that's the word against your will it'll Force you and then in parentheses the rebel says at least at first in the first few days okay and then the rabbit explains what does it mean that it'll be by force in the beginning so then that explains fatigue vasi so my hope but rather my strong hope is that what did after a little while not a long while you're not going to have to force yourself anymore it's it's not going to be by force anymore and you're going to see the benefit to you as well as and I love this the benefit to others get out there start mingling with people at first you're going to hate it you're gonna have to force yourself but after a while you're not gonna be forcing yourself anymore because you're going to see how it benefits you and how it benefits others you don't even realize people are missing out on you there are people that don't even know what they're missing because they don't have you in their life and I'm talking to you out there yes yes there are people right now whose lives are incomplete because you have not entered their lives because it's difficult for you okay and I'm how am I how do I have the Hotspot to say that I'm saying this to someone watching this video right now or listening to this on Spotify right now or whatever because the devil set the whole thing up by saying that this is categorical this is human nature there are no exceptions okay so if you're already an extrovert great but if you're on the other side of the spectrum okay force yourself to get out there and deal with people and even if it's hard at first you're gonna see after a while it's good for you and it's good for others it's good for others okay it is not for naught that a person was created with the nature to be social stop a second and dwell on that this is also a very key theme in the dabba's worldview when Hashem creates something it is for a purpose I know that's because I'll say that there's nothing that was created everything in the world has a purpose but it's not just a thing like oh there's this object and eventually it'll have a purpose it's even um qualities if a human being was created with a certain quality that's not a bug that's a feature what you think that Hashem is like uh like a computer programmer and he writes some code and he says you know there's some parts of the code that really I wish it weren't like that but if I take it out then the whole thing you know won't run you think that's the situation or you think Hashem knew exactly what it was doing when he made human beings exactly as they are and every aspect of Human Nature has a purpose and a use now obviously it also has a misuse God forbid but the fact that Hashem made us social he made us social beings and there's no exception I needed the rabbit to tell me that there are no exceptions there are no exceptions to this the fact that Hashem made human beings social is for a reason because we need to get out there the world needs us hashem's plan of needs us and if we would be content being hermits then that would not happen so Hashem made it that if we sit alone and we have conscious we have three choices we can choose to be a recluse but if you do truth it God forbid it causes dysfunction and disease this disease disease because it's not the way you were made to be so you're going counter to your nature and it it backs up on you and it causes problems so Hashem made us in a way that forces us without removing our free choice to uh to get out in the world and associate with others okay let's continue the words of our sages are wondrous foreign and they are these words of our sages are applicable as a directive for day-to-day life that every matter of holiness is specifically in a quorum of 10. you know like saying kadish for instance or davening having a minion where you can do a repetition of the the amida or you can say baraku or a Torah reading this requires a minion of ten why why is that not just multiple people two three four but ten which ten represents a complete group a large group look to the fact that our Sages in their Infinite Wisdom were divinely inspired to embed within the fabric of Jewish life the requirement for assembly and it's interesting by the way and I didn't catch this the first time I read the letter the Deb is writing to a woman so he's not talking to her literally about going and dominating with a minion he's using this as a as a proof the fact that the sages embedded within the fabric of Jewish life the constant or regular need for assembling a full group of ten is a testimony to the fact that being social and associating with one another is necessary for a productive life okay and it ever uses that aspect of of Torah and ritual observance as a proof for what is good and normal and desirable because if the Torah requires this of us obviously this is what's right and this is what this is what we need so very interesting okay now a second point foreign it's known the Hasidic saying I don't know the source of this piscum hasidus but if you were to ask me my source it's egress kadish and if anyone asks you because this statement I think to a Torah observant Joe would be a shocking statement but if anyone were to ask you where does it say that you could tell them that it's an egress kadish volume 18. Pages 534 through 5 35. the letter that we're learning right now and here's the piske Mercedes um said in the name of many greats of this whatever doesn't say which names okay foreign [Music] it is worse to be alone in Ghanaian than to be and that ABBA does not say the words that puts an ellipsis dot dot dot together with other Jews what is the dot doesn't want to say it's by inference you understand it's worse to be alone in Ghanaian in Paradise in heaven than to be in the Rabbit doesn't use these words so careful and sensitive to avoid scary shocking negative words but the word is gehenam the opposite of ganaden is gehenna so it is worse to be alone in ganaden than to be together with other Jews it's a very powerful surprising statement the devil says this is a teaching for many of the greats of xidas so this is probably not what the Reba is referring to because um this source that I'm about to cite is not see this but there was a a Magid from the Lithuanian town from shishok and he was known as the ramsheshakar magidam I believe his name was and um he used to go around traveling he was an itinerant preacher travel around saying speeches and one of his go-to speeches was about Ava sistral about loving your fellow and the way that he would set that up is with a parable that he would tell as a personal anecdote it was clearly a made-up story it was a parable it was not supposed to be real but he told it as if it were a personal anecdote he said you know I just arrived in whatever town where he came to speak but before I came here you know where I was I was in uh I was in Gahanna yeah yeah it wasn't good and I I came in to get him and I saw a long banquet table set with fine dishes and glasses and silver and there were platters of food and I thought to myself how can this begin this looks like an Exquisite feast and then I looked a little bit closer and I saw that the people seated at the tables in ghanum had long spoons tied to their arms down the length of their arms like a splint that made it that they couldn't bend their elbows and each one of them was scooping the food with the spoons that were tied to their hands but they couldn't bend their elbows to bring the food to their mouth so the fact that they were sitting at an Exquisite banquet was torture for them because they could scoop the food in the spoons but they couldn't bring it to their mouths and then I realized why it was ganum indeed he says but then I made another stop before I came here I stopped off in gunheden and in gun Aiden what did I see a long banquet table with fine uh China and glass and the silver and platters of food the same exact setup I said how is this different I look around and I and and I said well maybe they don't have those spoons and they did the same thing long spoons tied to their arms the entire length of their arms from their shoulder all the way to their hand they couldn't bend their elbows same setup like a henham they were smiling and they were happy and it was a joyous mood and I I looked a little bit closer and I saw one person would scoop the food in his spoon he couldn't bring it back to his own mouth because he couldn't bend his elbow but what would he do is he would then feed the person seated across from him and then his friend who was seated across from him would return the favor and scoop up food and put it in the other one's mouth and that was gun Aiden I will refrain from trying to interpret this uh and allow the the metaphor to speak for itself but uh I believe it was Jean-Paul sarta who said that hell is not a place it's other people um yeah so if you're an existentialist the worst thing you can imagine is being uh trapped in a situation with other people who great on your nerves who bother you and there is no exit yeah I'm referring to no exit at any rate that is uh one view of the world is it a true view of the world um I'm gonna say something that I normally never say because I I I'm so uh hesitant to make categorical statements but here I'm gonna say because sometimes you know is it a valid statement yeah maybe in some context could be true maybe not in all contexts but it's not all people not all times but is that view a valid View I'm going to say something categorical no it is not a correct view it is never a correct correct view when you are among people all you have to do is choose to associate with them choose to interact with them and by by the nature of the human being which Hashem implanted within us we create a positive experience and by avoiding social interactions because we're afraid to have the negative version of being around other people we don't really save ourselves from any pain or suffering in fact we cause ourselves worse dysfunction because we were not made to be alone we were not built that way so again I'm going to refrain from trying to uh extrapolate on the theological implications of the of the metaphor but I'll just make an observation about human nature which the deba already made in this letter and uh and that is that we cannot we cannot avoid people even when it's difficult for us we gain Nothing by it so what do I want to tell you I want to tell you I was thinking about whether or not I should share this um we're almost done with the letter we've got a couple more lines before we read the last few lines um yeah Okay so if you learn with me especially these letters I make a lot of personal observations I do that in these letters much more so than in my other classes if you learn other texts with me like you know like Tanya or a shot of a talking um I try to read what it says and explain it how I see it I try not to make like personal observations when learning when learning the web is ladders I do make a lot of personal observations because I believe that's how it's meant to be learned and I don't think you have to make the same personal observations that I make but I think at least I'm trying to model that that's the style of learning and then you could do it your own way perhaps or quite likely better than I do it um so I make a lot of personal observations I I try to refrain from making personal observations um well I I make personal observations and I make guesses about the letter writers quite often sometimes I'm right sometimes I'm wrong um I try to refrain from making personal observations because first of all you're talking about you're talking about a whole different level that is not something ultimately we can we can understand with with the intellect you're talking about something Godly and and and we can talk about it intellectually but we're never going to grasp it you know what does it have it however very cautiously I just want to share with you some facts and I'm going to try not to make any interpretation of these facts um there was a hasid ner Oliver Shalom from Paris France originally from Russia but uh he relocated to Paris France and he was speaking to the revenue about um about Paris the situation there and that was asking why he wasn't more involved outside of the of the lubavitcher community outside of anash after the war a lot of Laboratories relocated to France and so mostly he was dealing with I mean he was a talmud a real scholar and uh so it's mostly dealing with see them people knew how to learn and appreciated learning and appreciated his talents and also obviously spending a lot of time in his own learning which was his he had a special uh a knack a knack for that and uh that ABBA asked well what about Outreach you know what about Paris is a town of many Jews what about going beyond your community answered and to his credit he was remarkably honest with the rabbit which also I think is something we can learn from um how to conduct oneself when one writes to the rabbit you know should you be as honest with the web as you are with your therapist you should be moralized [Music] I know a guy went to therapy for 10 years and he said it didn't help at all he says but in in defense of the therapist he says he couldn't really help me because I was lying to him the whole time I said well why did you lie to him he said are you kidding you know how much money I was paying I couldn't afford for the guy to have a poor impression of me okay at any rate so everybody tells the Dabba is I'm an introvert that's how I'm going to translate doesn't mean a selfish person it has the word ich in it but it doesn't mean a self selfish person God forbid it doesn't have that connotation it means self-oriented um or or introverted like I said that's really what it means it means I'm the kind of person I'm just more comfortable keeping to myself and that Abbott told him naturally I'm also an introvert by the way people who were able to observe that in his childhood people who were present and that have his parents home say that his brother is what they called label was very gregarious and he was a very Charming like uh socially inclined child and and the deba was very serious he used to stand by himself and learn he would learn standing up and he would just he would study and he would study by himself um so he had that nature so the rabbit tells her out of hezner I'm also naturally an introvert unless you think that it becomes second nature you should know that it doesn't and that every time I have to do it is Messier Snapfish it's personal sacrifice I'm not going to interpret I'm just stating something that the devil said about himself said that it is personal self-sacrifice to be in a social setting and have to interact with people okay I'll tell you something else not about the rubber but something that they'd ever wrote in the rashimas that have his Diaries and scholarly journals that were published after gimmel Thomas in the rashimas I think it's 119th uh pamphlet the rabba writes when he first became was very distraught by the demands that people had from him the personal demands for his time and he had a difficult time with it until he made a decision he said I decided to embrace the Spirit of the saying and there in the rashimas it doesn't attribute the source of this saying however in other places this saying is brought the Frida could ever brings this and whatever brings it as well in uh there's a fabrang in High ELO I think it's whatever brings the saying of uh my ancestor descended from him precious Adam it's a very uh interesting statement precious means being a hermit so today is good with the people and briees has a connotation of not just people but the lowest level of description that you can give to people the masses the the rabble one should be a Hermit among the masses yeah it's a paradox it's the point of it um and to be in isolation is isolation among people that's what says so the rabbit says I embraced that idea and it did not it did not take automatically it took a while it was it was a process it doesn't say how long it took but it was a process of coming into that mode so we know that described himself as an introvert for whom social interaction was difficult we know that Albert schaab described himself that way uh compared the rabbit in fact I'm sure you've noticed that the sharblot the title pages of the different svada Memphis of ichirabba is different has a different design and uh when the rabba made the hayam so he wanted to know which title page to use because really it's the Freddy Krab is sayings but they were all uh assembled and anthologized by by the red so the Philadelphia told him he says use my father's Shabbat that should be your sharblet he said my father was a panini and you're also a panimi so use that one so if you notice that ebb is sharblat the design of the the page the title page from the rabbit is the same as the rabbit why because my father was a panemee you're also a panimi um so I'm not interpreting this I'm just making a statement that ABBA referred to himself as an introvert that ABBA in this ladder that we just learned is writing to someone who's struggling really struggling with being an introvert and uh this is okay now I am interpreting but it's I'm not really interpreting it's it's obvious you know it's Maggie devotively Yankovic that whatever it says about Hashem whatever he commands the Jewish people to do he himself does so if he tells them to put on filling he puts on film right it's from the bar mitzvah meimer so here's that I've been giving advice you have to be a social person you cannot be a recluse you can't you just can't all right so it seems I don't think I'm making anything up I don't think I'm Taking Liberties that this is something that the rabbit himself personally went through and whatever value that adds to your appreciation of this letter I'll let you have your own personal um reaction to that but I I thought a couple of times more than a couple of times whether this was pertinent and in the end I decided that it was uh and since I've already gone there I'll mention that it's Hackle year option pay gimmel is a hockle year year of assembly every seven years is the year of assembly and we know how dear the idea of gathering all year long as often as possible how dear that concept is to the rabbit and it's just fascinating to me that somebody who described himself personally as an introvert Place such a value on Gathering and again I'm not going to try to interpret it but I'm just stating things that are known and I'm saying it's definitely something to think about and I'll allow you to do your own thinking about it um I'll also add that the tension of individuality and group dynamics and it is a real tension it's it's maybe for some people it's natural to them to be part of a group but for anyone who has any type of introverted tendency and especially someone who's an extreme introvert there is definitely a conflict it doesn't have to be a destructive conflict but it could be a conflict that it creates like sort of a dynamic tension and that theme the dynamic tension between individualism and collectivism is one of the main themes if if I can share with you my personal observation it's one of the main themes in the Rebus Terror that I've always dwelled on the Paradox of the Jaco pecode means the collective because they means individualization itemization separate parts and Jacob could they often are read together as one Parsha and the devil would often point out how how the great Paradox of the fact that the group needs the individual and the individual needs the group that's that's the Paradox of iaco pecode you can't have vyaka without bakuri it can happen without the viako the group needs the individual the individual needs the group we need each other and healthy individuals have to transcend themselves by Living For A Cause greater than themselves which means the group and conversely the group needs to transcend itself by putting the individual first which to me is a bigger haddish to say that an individual has to transcend himself and live for a greater cause and therefore live for the group that that that's readily understandable actually that the group has to set aside its self-perpetuation when a group is interested only in self-perpetuation it becomes an institution it loses its heart and soul and the way that a group remains healthy is by putting the individual first there's a mirth of clawing uh when the rabbit points this out how Corbin pesach is the first Mitzvah that the Jewish people performed yes but the clear points out that the lunar calendar was only established so we would know the date of the carbon PESA so the carbon peso has at least the second Mitzvah but according to some opinions the first myth for the Jewish people did definitely the first carbon that we brought and as such it sets the tone for Jewish identity and the rabbi asks is Corbin Pacer a carbon yaket or Corbin siber you know Corbin yaket is like person God forbid does a sin he has to bring it or he survived some life-threatening situation and he has to bring a taida that's a corbination Corbin uh sibor are like the tamid that's brought every morning and every afternoon or the Musa bought from communal funds from the flat tax of the half shackle and um that ever points out that the carbon peso uniquely is a hybrid of corbyn Jacob and Corbin sieber everyone brings it at the same time so in that way it's a corbination because every individual does it but they're all doing it at the same time so in that way it's a communal Affair it's a carbon silver and in fact that's how Hillel Rose to prominence there was a whole question about when edification falls on Shabbos do you bring the carbon PESA because a carbon yachted is not brought on Shabbos Corbin siber pushes off Shabbos and the leadership at the time the neighbor said I did not know what to do you know about that right we are the we are the benef let me know if you know the reference okay um and Hillel came in and he said this is also from the Reba you know the famous saying from Hello about so those are Choice words to live by but it's also a riddle that the that hello said to explain the mystery of the carbon pesach if I don't bring my own carbon Pacer who will bring it for me each individual has to bring his own so according Corbin pesach has a carbon yachted on the other hand if I try to do this by myself Mani what am I you don't you don't do corn basic by yourself it's the whole nation does it together so therefore it's also a Corbin sibor and therefore since it has an aspect to it that is a carbon civil or emulate if not now even on even on Shabbos Amos I when are you gonna do it you do it now so the first carbon and according to some opinions the first myths for the Jewish people performed was a hybrid of communal and individual and that really is the Paradox of Jewish life that healthy individuals are those who live for the claw but a healthy cloud is one that puts the interests of the little guy first and then actually cites a proof from negla that the group puts the individual first in Yiddish kite you know what it is it's from uh in from the rambam when he's speaking about kirish Hashem he describes a situation which unfortunately is a real situation it's not a uh trolley problem ethical dilemma that somebody made up for some college class it's a real situation that unfortunately happened thousands of times in Jewish history and that is a group of Jews are besieged by hostile non-jews and the the enemy says hand over one of you and we'll let you all live and if not we kill you all you tell them do what you got to do but we're not handing over one of us that's counter-intuitive because you would think any society that functions by such rules would become extinct very quickly especially if they were singled out for persecution and the Miracle of Jewish continuity and survival is that not only did we not become eradicated but those who sought to eradicate us are gone and we're still here that doesn't make sense if you live according to a code that says kill the whole group so that we can save an individual you're not going to last long but you know what in hashem's reality that's not how it works in hashem's reality the group that puts the individual first is the group that survives counter-intuitive yes it is it is that's the paradox you might notice that I'm going a little bit long you might notice that we have a few lines left in the letter and I'm deliberately avoiding reading them because I'm going to miss you and I'm gonna miss this crazy hectic pace of 30 letters in 30 days it is an absolute Whirlwind I cannot believe that I've been able to keep it up thank God Hashem helps Hashem gives kayak but I'm gonna miss you and I'm gonna miss this class and it's theodofness and so this is I told you at the beginning I hinted to it I said this is our unofficial so if there's still people out there I think I'm gonna talk a little bit longer and if you gotta go you can go um now I'm looking on YouTube here there's there's people out there okay so I'm gonna keep talking and you can keep cleaning or uh cautioning or tin foiling or whatever it is you're up to um this is one of my favorite books and here you see the title page probably can't see it far away but that's what I told you how's that that I have a sharp lot frame around the title page so um today this is 1943 whatever wrote This Book very few people knew when the Devil's birthday was back in 1943. very few people knew that it was a concept to know when your Jewish birthday is that was a secret that was revealed in stages okay yural of Nissan on your birthday allahed a person should be alone he's by date to be alone you guys are smart you know where I'm going you know where I'm headed okay I'm gonna keep going slowly but you know where I'm headed the person should be in seclusion or isolation or by himself he should reminisce or think remember ulisbane in bohem and he should meditate on his memories whatever needs to be fixed whatever he has to switch over for fix it that like all of the material from Hawaii is taken from uh the feeder crab is works from his Secrets my modem letters it is uh from a ladder the defeated wrote To The Future about his health and the feedback writes and apologizes for uh the delay he says I got your letter on my birthday and uh on your birthday you spend the day in seclusion remembering reminiscing meditating pondering what needs fixing that's where this line comes from so let me ask you a question um on your birthday a person should be misbeided to spend his birthday in seclusion you know the story about uh when that ever got a phone call from the United the president of the United States on his birthday to wish him happy birthday I heard it was Reagan and somebody said it was Carter somebody out there fact check this for me it was either Carter or Reagan and uh because I believe it was uh it was 81 when or it was 82 I mean um it was 1982. so it would have been Reagan but you can find out for me at any rate that ever told mosquitoes to apologize he can't take the phone call from the president because uh a person's birthday as it says in hayam you're supposed to spend the day in private seclusion and meditation okay right good so let me ask you something it's not an opinion question it's a fact it's a matter of historical record how did the lab spend his birthday I mean all you have to do is look in details Menachem and look at yodel of Nissan and you'll see the fabregan's whatever's birthday think about that foreign so uh was it ever Miss by date would it ever make massive gatherings which one interesting thought huh so I was at the aisle today I mentioned that already I was at the oil today people were interacting with me I spoke about that how that bothered me people were talking to me by the way if you see me in public you can come over to me and talk to me because then Abba says that I need it he says it's healthy for me so please don't be afraid and if I ever snubbed you I didn't snub you I'm not a rude guy I'm just oblivious sometimes I'm concentrating so much literally just on walking or like not bumping into things uh yeah I don't have good kinesthetic awareness so sometimes like you'll see me walking down the street I'm like really working hard my brain's in working overtime just not to walk into the lamp post and then you think that I ignored you or snubbed you or didn't answer you but it's really because I was just preoccupied with with not tripping so yes you can come over and say hello you might have to say hello two or three times but I'm not being arrogant I really am just having a hard time being out in the world um so uh I was at the aisle today and I was talking to a really wonderful younger man mendelshamtov by the way I think in my phone the most common repeated name is probably mendels but uh he was the organizer last year of 30 letters in 30 days and he wasn't able to do it this year but he was incredibly helpful last year and also I want to mention this year's team incredible team uh Levy Katz was the organizer of everything and made sure that the the PDFs come out on time and the booklet got printed and the uh the WhatsApp group and the alerts and everything and then our incredible research team um zalekshemtiv and Mendel Rosenblum and uh also other people who helped out of course have mentioned in the past I'll mention again Levy and Bassey shamtev from West Bloomfield um Levy was not able to come to the oil today he had a ticket I saw his son Mandel shantev no different mental championship and I saw him at the aisle today but the lady could not come to the aisle today but the reason is actually he's officiating a funeral tomorrow morning in Detroit for a cousin of mine actually um bill leverson who is also a descendant I might add from that is correct yes um his nishoma should have an allele so I was talking to Mandel and uh I think we were talking about about this year's letters project and his uncle right as his uncle right he also katzman comes over and uh he says to us what does it say get off listen today you're supposed to be Miss baited you're supposed to be by yourself he says how did the devil spend his birthday fabrangian's giving tanyas you know they never gave Tanya's on his birthday um so what's shot so uh and this this was givaldik I was this blew me away so uh he also says what's in the Shama clawless what does it mean that the lab is connected to all of us how does he spend time with himself well what's himself Claus Israel is himself so when he spends time with Claud Israel he's spending time with himself it only occurred to me later on and then he walked away and then you know whatever else I didn't get to think about it I'm a slow thinker but like a couple hours later I saw my son oh I should mention I want to think of ram Abba Taub who many of you know from the uh four-day uh live stream fundraising campaign we did last month he was the one who came out at the end and uh interacted with me with witty banter and anyway Ramada helped me to look up the uh some of the the Champions quote about the taive precious uh imagery Adidas so he helped me do a little research but so when I spoke to my son I said you know katzman told me about the the rabbit was misbided with all of us because how does he spend time with himself who's himself the Nasi spends time with Claudius being by himself um so then then I came up with it but only later when I was talking to my son so I told my son I said that's probably why he didn't take Reagan's call and maybe it was Carter but it was either Carter or Reagan but the point is you understand that spend time with the Jewish people is the head of the Jewish people the Jewish people are one body so for the head to spend time with itself with its with its own body that's that's that's his way to those foreign but uh if somebody who's not Jewish is calling even if it's the president of the United States then I'm sorry I have to be by I have to be by by myself right now myself meaning the Jewish people interesting you know during the Mendel Bayless trial should I keep going I'm gonna stop at some point but I got more to say and we gotta we got like three more lines of this letter one of the accusations in the Mendel Bayless blood libel was that it says in the talmud atem Adam you the Jewish people are called Adam human and so there was this um this anti-semitic priest who was part of the prosecution he said you see according to the talmud the Jews don't consider non-jews-human so they had to explain that that's not what it means it's not at all what it means but they needed help explaining it to a to a judge so uh one of the rabbinical advisors in the trial that every shot was involved in the trial as well but uh you know mayor Shapiro was involved and in novel they know him as the one who started hayem we know him as a very respected esteemed guest at the rebe and the rabbitsen's wedding in Warsaw so uh the mayor Shapiro explained like this here's how you answer this and this is what the the defense attorney said in court he said there was a little boy who was murdered this little uh non-jewish child he says my client Mendel Bayless is not the murderer but the child was murdered somebody did murder him and his family is devastated now the town where that murder happened and you know the trial took years he says by now the town has moved on the family didn't move on but the town moved on and certainly the entire country has moved on it's just that family who lives with this pain every day now he says conversely I want to say something Mendel Bayless my client here is one individual Jew and every single day every Jew in the world checks the newspaper to see what's doing with the Mendel Bayless trial whether they live here in in Russia or they they live in uh in in in America or they live in Australia you know why because for the Jewish people it's not an individual on trial it's all of us he says that's what it means Adam doesn't mean Humanity other means a person so atem plural you all y'all the Jewish people Kareem Adam you're called a person the Jewish people are not really a people they're a person something that affects one Jew affects all other Jews and that's a unique aspect of the Jewish people there are other peoples individuals who come together to form tribes and countries and societies but the Jewish people are uniquely a person and Adam one person and this person okay so that's what that's what the the defense set of the Mendel Bayless trial but now I'll add I'll add my own commentary which is this person the Jewish people like any person has different body parts hands and feet and different vital organs and it has a head has one head and that's a rabbit the head of the Jewish people the central nervous system of the Jewish people who knows what's going on in the farthest extremities of the body so if there is a pain in a hangnail on the toe the pinky toe the brain is aware of it and that's what we've been seeing the past 30 days in these letters anyone from all walks of life rabbis and Scholars teachers mothers entrepreneurs businessmen observant not observant somewhere in between young old they wrote to the rabbi about all types of matters communal Affairs personal stuff family stuff deep dark dirty guilt that they're grappling with yeah we had such letters all types of things from the from the lofty to the to the to the darkest aspect of of The Human Experience all kinds of people writing about all kinds of experiences to one person and this one person is somehow capable of responding to each of them in the appropriate way tell me how one person is able to do that that's why I want to encourage everybody take these letters personally because We Are All One and we have a head and the head is connected to all of us and we are all connected to each other and the Deb is guidance is really I'll probably get blasted for this probably the next time I go to the island I'm hanging out there probably one of we don't see this guy is going to blast me for this but you know what you know what egress is egress is really my own best advice isn't it isn't that what a nashama clawless is n't that what pedig base of Tanya says that all nishamas come from Allah and then it starts speaking about lower the shamas and higher nishamas hold on a second you told me in Peri base of Tanya that only shamas come from the same place also explains the staous list is the you know the local train in the express train so some nishamas come down to the world without any wear and tear and in their embodiment they're still like they were not seal Us and other nishamas stopping Bria stop in utsiro and by the time they get down here they're not the way they were in their source so we all come from the same Source but by the time we're in the body we don't all seem like it anymore but in order to reconnect to our own source we connect to the peric base of Tanya and uh you could go check it out don't take my word for it and by connecting to the rabbit who remains in embodiment the same as souls are in their pristine source when we connect to such a person it reconnects us to how we are in our source and gives us access again to the wisdom and the strength and the courage of our infinite Godly Souls so the egress is really my own best advice if I were thinking clearly if I were thinking like my nashama myheal this is the advice I would give myself and if you understand what it means it is it is the advice that I gave myself isn't it never once spoke about why uh udalov why asking is not a problem of God forbidden intermediary you're not allowed to ask an angel to go fetch bragas for you from on high that's putting something in between you and God and we don't do that in Judaism so how come you're allowed to ask but good question huh rabbit asked this question and it never said actually there's a question from the samsifer Sam Cipher asks and answers this question and he explains like this that an angel is a separate entity from you and to ask an angel to be involved in your relationship with Hashem that's putting something in between you and Hashem foreign sort of like taking a call from the president of the United States on your birthday right something outside of you you're allowing to enter into your life however a topic and you are one person because all Jewish people are one person and therefore when you're asking the tadiq for a blessing you're really asking your best self so I told you at the beginning of tonight's class happy birthday and I said yeah yeah I'll get to that and I'll explain why I'm saying happy birthday to you why is it happy birthday to me my birthday is my birthday is even that was just a random example although that is my birthday and each of us do have our specific birthdays but we also have our Collective birthday our Collective birthday is udolph Nissan all of us we were born the Jewish people the Jewish person a collective and an individual at the exact same time a collective group that thrives by putting individuality first and individuals who Thrive by putting the interests of the group first that's the paradox the last fabrangin for now that that ever LED was parshus viakil it wasn't even and yet what do you think that ever spoke about the paradox and this is one of the marching orders from that final fabregan get together make communities you will find your personal fulfillment your day in viakil in creating groups so even if you are an extreme introvert there's a reason it's not for naught that Hashem created all of us without exception with a didn't with a deep deep need for the Society of our fellows we were placed here to perfect the world and to make this Earth holier than heaven we don't do that by being sequestered in our owns by being hermits we do that by going out of ourselves and finding others connecting with them go where the people are and connect with them and you'll find that when you do so you're actually connecting to your truest self we're a person not a people a person there are aspects of ourselves we only know through connecting with other people who are really not others at all and this is what the rabbit gave us as a as a last will and testament if you will the last Shabbos and especially this year get out there connect with people even if you don't like it that ABBA didn't like it that ABBA said he was also an introvert you want to finish the letter let's finish the letter that's finished um foreign as we're now toward the end of the month of Elo the month of Mercy hashem's Mercy which is infinite yahirat Singh there should be a Resolute change for the better and you should report good news about this is a blessing to report good news and may you be written and inscribed for good and that my friends is the letter our 30th letter thank you for being part of this Journey and maybe may we all continue to connect deeply to the deepest truest self to the the core of ourselves which is synonymous with the idea of his cautious to see that I know Israel the more we understand this concept the more we understand that becoming our true selves and living up to our potentials and becoming the best version that we can be of ourselves that for a Jew is synonymous with cultivating a relationship within the shama clawless with an aggregate soul Who's connected to All Souls by learning his teachings absorbing his teachings learning how to think the way his teachings teach us how to think following his directives doing what he told us to do there's a Seema ramam coming up base ear by the way if you haven't started being careful about rambam every day you can start now and making hockel gatherings and everything else that ever told us to do you know a friend of mine comes over to me today and uh you know he is I've been seeing he came over to me yeah shout out he comes over to me and he says uh what what what's your toughness and all about I said don't get philosophical on me you know what you're supposed to do get up say maybe diving like a man I mean come on never told us what to do so uh yeah we should just continue being true to ourselves and it's through our relationship with the rabbit that we do that okay One More Story uh the last dollars the day after the last fabrangen I told you about the February of parshus but the next day was Sunday and whatever gave out dollars Sunday dollars and um one of the people in the dollar line was Gabriel Aram from Toronto originally from Hungary and then of Toronto publisher of Lifestyles magazine which is an executive magazine not a Jewish magazine and uh but he made it a special uh article or feature about his birthday because this was um other touching and base so this is just like a few weeks before that was his 90th birthday so there's a video you can watch the video a gem video so he he asked today but what's the deba's public statement for his 90th birthday speaks in English to him and says well 90 in Hebrew was Sadiq right every Hebrew letter is uh corresponding to a as a numerical value right that's how gamataria works and that is an indication that every Jew can be at Sadiq so you see what happened Gabrielle Aram wants to write a feature about the debit and then every flips Anonymous says not about me it's about every Jew you understand that and that is what a rabbit is want to know what his cautious is it's not going around and telling everyone how great the rabbit is conscious is believing that Abbott when he tells you how great you are when living like it ever says it's not about me it's about you and I got another thing to tell you you're going to bring mashiach that I've said it from day one the first official every individual comes down to your personal responsibility to perfect the world again you have a yakapakode the global and the individual all at the same time your personal job in life is to perfect the universe the collective and the individual all in one announced the deepest truth I don't know how our ancestors understood the meaning of life but from 1951 here is the way we understand the meaning of life there can be no personal fulfillment without global vision in microcosm that I was saying it in a more subtle way to this woman in this letter that your personal well-being depends on interacting with other people but in other places it ever says it even more explicitly and more forcefully and on a much grander scale that the Perfection of the universe is the individual responsibility of every Jew and conversely your personal fulfillment is the Perfection of the universe you cannot be satisfied just trying to have a good life and I don't mean a good life materially I don't suspect any of you that you think that the definition of a good life is to take vacations and have uh and and go water skiing and in his sip pina coladas on the on the beach I don't think that that's what you I mean spiritually spiritually that you want to finish Shas and that you wanna you wanna dive in a a 10 minute yeah you have spiritual aspirations okay and those are beautiful and you should do those things this is not to negate those things you should do those things but you know what you should also do you should also step up and admit that you're the leader of world jewelry you yes you you are the leader because it ever put it back on each and every one of us you have to take this personal that the Perfection of the universe comes down to you and that's uralif Nissan that's our birthday a birthday is the day when we become aware on a deeper level of why we were put here on this Earth so today's our birthday and we all have to take stock what are we doing to perfect the universe and don't think that you're being so uh Noble and and and altruistic and don't think either that you're being overly ambitious when you start uh planning on perfecting the universe it's a normal thing that's how a Jew should think your personal life your story your story your narrative I tell I'm going to tell you how it ends you're the one who brings mashiach with your mitzvah that's that's what it is so it's your birthday take stock of where you've been what you've done be proud of what you've accomplished take seriously where there may be a lack what you could be doing more and and get out there get out of your house like that I've been told that woman get out of your house and good things are going to start happening I promise you just get out of your house and talk to people and and good things will happen okay happy birthday again and uh yeah I don't know what else to say just happy birthday