Addicts Can't Find Healing in Temporary Pleasures: The Deeper Truth / February 2023

Dr twerski once told me once told me he says Rabbi why why let me tell you something I have 60 years of experience he told us to me in Boca six years of experience has taught me that the addicts Among Us are the most spiritual Among Us and they couldn't numb their pain with rugalach and jalapeno Herring and you xiaomi kugum like some of us so they went to alcohol to drugs they destroyed themselves you know why because their void was deeper because their spirituality was deeper the yeshiva.net good evening everybody thank you so much I think I graced the show utiscus lived 10 years ago I think some of you were there so I'm really thrilled and honored thank you Rabbi and Robinson canterman for bringing us together oh wow there's a whole crowd up there okay welcome for bringing us together on this suspicious evening of yutask love and thank you everybody for gracing us with your beautiful presence thank you for Rabbi k for your very moving words about your son of blessed memory may be an eternal source of light confidence and inspiration to you the family all of the Jewish people in Israel and the whole world there's an old anecdote how about a couple in New York that didn't have children for many years and a great kabbalist came for a visit from Israel and they went to visit him and they asked him if he could pray for them to be blessed with a child and he said of course and he asked the Father the husband and the wife to write their names and their mother's name on a piece of paper and he said he's going tonight back to Israel tomorrow will be at the Western Wall and I'll put a note into the wall and pray to Hashem that they have children great he comes back for a visit five years later and he's walking in the street and he sees the woman whom he met a few years ago and he says Hi how are you how are you he looks at her and he says has there been good news she says yeah we have 10 children he says what she says ten children we have a minion we don't have to go to school anymore we have a minion the Rabbi says that was fast how did that happen she said well the first year we had triplets the second year I gave birth to twins I decided I needed a break so I took a break for a year the next year I had twins the next year I had triplets the rabbi is like wow is [Music] where's your husband I want to give him the biggest kiss and hug in the world she says my husband went to Israel he says that's so nice what's in Israel he went to Jerusalem why he went to the coastal to the cartel why he's looking for the note he wants to take it out no yeah I think it was Mark Twain who said when I was nine my father was brilliant when I was 19 he was a fool now I'm 29 and I have a couple of kids and he has a lot of wisdom to share it's funny how much the old man learned in 10 years we live in a generation where everyone has a lot to say about the youth everyone has an opinion the opinion is often very negative entitled you ever heard that word they're so entitled I get emails every day my kids are so entitled another email what happened to keep it over aim they don't respect anymore I respected my mother through thick and thin she writes to me you think it was easy you know my mother but my kids just don't have the same effort spoiled addicted of course obnoxious narcissistic selfish self-indulgent talk too much about their feelings what happened with being a soldier put one foot out of another foot and Forge forward like your parents and ancestors did for the last 15.3 billion years I mean for the last five thousand seven hundred and eighty three years [Music] um people have a lot of opinions about a young generation they're worried they're concerned it's a very powerful conversation and I think that Utah skis live provides a very potent relevant insightful not just reactive approach but a Visionary proactive approach to understanding what they would call this sugya this conversation this aspect of Jewish life today and more importantly tomorrow there's a mishna empiricalavis everybody knows the ethics of the fathers chapter five that there were ten Generations and the Torah enumerates the ten Generations the names of those ten generations to tell you how much patience God has a all the generations were digressing deteriorating morally becoming worse and worse and worse and worse until finally generation came and everything plots and the Earth vomited its inhabitants and the flood came foreign to tell you how patient God was that all these Generations continue to decline morally until avram came and he received the reward of all of them and the commentators ask a very powerful question those make sense you say from Adam the generations were becoming worse and worse until the generation of naturally were destroyed then you say from the generations were becoming worse and worse until avram came and he received the reward for everybody which reward if they were becoming worse and worse doesn't say Nayak received the reward for everybody because there was no reward it was a flood then he reaped the reward I understand but it says just like the first time they were morally declining and then came and he received everybody's reward where was their reward and why the difference between them and Ayah we'll get back to it in a few moments but Israel hashembly Nader the Gamora says at the end of the mission says at the end of the signs of Icarus the signs before mashiach comes one of them is foreign those who fear sin will be scorned people will look down at them yamasu they will be treated as something like repulsive people will be allergic allergic to Eerie hate it will be like disgusting in people's eyes oh you fair sin on a literal level it means there Comes A Time in history when people lose their moral compass and anybody who has Europe somebody who has fear of Heaven seems like strange archaic person Iman so you're like a weirdo you belong to a different generation that's one interpretation but the Seer of Lublin the Great Master of Horowitz was one of the great students of the magnet of misrich whose yard site was commemorated today the 250th yard site of the great Market of bear passed away you test Crystal of 1772. so 2022 is exactly 250 years since the yard side of the magnet of misrich and one of his students The Seer of Lublin writes that I heard from my friend the absusa reposition of anapali was a friend of the Seer of leblind and another student of the Margaret of misrich and reposition said that the meaning in the mission is very different doesn't mean they will be disgusted with people who fear sin because of the lowliness of the generation but in a classic Hasidic Spin and twist and in a classic expression of the graciousness and deep humility and Holiness he said it means something else before mashiach comes fear of sin will be looked down at because the Jewish people will be craving a relationship based on love not based on fear so the Paradigm of serving God exclusively out of fear out of dread with a sense of anxiety or a sense of pressure I'm afraid they will look down at it it will be scorned it will be seen as really cheats cheap why this is what he says I heard from the position because they're going to be craving a relationship of Ava of of deep attachment of Love of affection I think we understand what that means if you'll ask if you'll ask somebody why should why didn't you think you should invest in your marriage why should you make your marriage a better marriage and a husband of the wife says well I'm afraid the husband says I'm frightened for my wife if I don't behave nicely who knows what she's going to put into the challenge who knows yeah who knows what the house is going to look like who knows how I'll be treated who knows how I'll be punished and penalized it's going to be Gahanna that's why you're that's why you're in therapy yeah there's no other reason I'm just frightened I'm just frightened of the consequences it's like what do you do you shrug your shoulders and like never the greatest motivation for a good relationship is the relationship itself I want a relationship that's not based on fear and dread and anxiety but a relationship that's based on the beauty of attachment on the depth of connection s I want to be connected the greatest reward for a good relationship is a good relationship the greatest reward for good marriage is the marriage itself nothing else that the food is going to be better that's the greatest reward so there Comes A Time in Judaism when the Jewish people say I don't want a relationship with God simply because he's bigger and stronger than me my tattoo is stronger than your Tati and he could punish me and the fires in purgatory are going to be very powerful and Intense or I'm simply afraid of consequences in this world the next world I mean if it stops you from doing something terrible go ahead you know but to Define Judaism on that Foundation says there comes a time when people say I'm not I'm not enthusiastic about it I need a deeper connection I need an emotional connection I need to be able to feel the love I need to be able to feel that this helps me dance and celebrate life it allows me to actualize my potential it allows me to touch the heavens it allows me to touch my Essence it allows me to suck the marrow out of life and live life to the fullest physically emotionally psychologically spiritually I need a feel the love I need to feel the Ecstasy I need to feel the internal intimate connection based on positivity based on attachment not based on fear why right before mashiach comes and the answer is because the definition of the definition of redemption is Oneness Between Heaven and Earth one is between soul and body Oneness between the animal Consciousness and the Divine Consciousness Oneness within Humanity one is within the Jewish people Oneness of the cosmos in the universe and Oneness between Creator and creation and a relationship that's based on Oneness is always motivated by the desire to be close not by the fear of being distant not by the fear of the penalties for being distant it's created by the passion of how beautiful um we say every morning before davening the children of avram who you gave her now um the part of davening a lot of people skip so don't worry if it doesn't ring a bell I know you're doing it for 60 years but it's fine don't worry don't take it personal that's when your add usually kicks in you know that page it's like you're done you know call me by a valencian but the words are very rich because of the love that you loved them and the joy that you rejoiced in them you celebrated his existence and you gave him that name you strong therefore I want to be in a relationship with you and then we say no matter if volcano how fortunate we are so there is a gulless relationship and there's a Google relationship an exile-like relationship is a relationship that still has a lot of toxicity it has a lot of trauma it has a lot of pressure a lot of parts of me are not involved that's what exiling Exile means parts of my soul as the altariba always says parts of my soul are locked away parts of my soul are not present in the relationship so yes fear becomes a very motivating factor but in a relationships of unity all of me is present in the relationship how can All of Me be present in a relationship only when all of my emotions are fully present every nerve in my nervous system every fiber in my being every chord in my heart and every neuron in my brain celebrates the relationship wow what does this mean what happens how do you prepare for such a relationship first thing is you have to get in touch with your emotions you have to know what you're feeling you have to know what you're experiencing if I repress my feelings if I don't know what I'm feeling which some of us are very good at not knowing what you're feeling you may be married to such a person in other words it's not intentional I'm just clueless right much easier to eat kugel than to feel emotions much easier so it's a healthier so so cheaper you have to go to therapy for Coco if you feel your emotions you may have to pay a therapist if you eat Coco you're good so you kill 20 birds with one stone you numb your emotions your taste buds are happy yeah you add something to your fat Reserve right it's beautiful so that's one way of dealing with it but there's no way I can graduate I can evolve from here I hate from a fear-based relationship to a love-based relationship if I don't ask myself what am I afraid of what do I want what do I need what do I yearn for that's what's happening in our generation not everybody is comfortable with it I happen to be you'll forgive me don't Stone me I happen to be a big fan of Our Generation not because of some Blind Faith because I know the youth I deal with them every day they're the most precious of the precious the most authentic of authentic most real of MMS pure idealistic they just don't want to bury hypocrisy anymore it used to be everyone used to have a wall-to-wall carpet you remember why the answer is everything had to go under the carpet so when you have a carpet wall to wall there's enough place to put everything under today the new style is tear out the carpet bring it up emergemen under the couch and then by itself when the children find the Clayman and they want it used to be a Parker pen or a calculator today it's uh private plane private yacht whatever it is at least a tablet if you give them potato chips like we got they'll call Child Services on you such a level of abuse Parker Pen a Parker Pen for it used to be the Rockefellers got a Parker Pen for the Clayman and the Schnur has got potato chips and if you were like middle class you know right your father on the station wagon so you got like a black and white or maybe maybe you know a calculator what's the meaning of that custom open your hearts the meaning of the customers as we celebrate the night of Freedom tradition tells us whatever you're gonna hide your children are going to expose everything we hide and we try very hard to hide it not even consciously unconsciously they're gonna find it and when they find our equipment and they deliver it to Mommy and tati what do you do some of us look at them and say who asked you don't you see it was under the couch keep it there keep it there you're bringing shame to the family it's your problem you need therapy that's one thing you can say another thing you could say is you could take it off your claima you could say thank you for bringing awareness to our family let me give you a prize and only when you take that africaiman and you internalize it and you eat it and you look at it then you focus on it can you all say together as a family that's when we graduate from a place of Exile and defensiveness to a place of redemption that's when we go from a place of defensiveness which is always based on fear and Trauma I have to be defensive here's the rule when your children share with you how horrible you were as a parent your natural instinct is you ungrateful you ungrateful self-centered lazy ignorant clueless coffee Tova get out but that's just my amygdala being triggered and trying to survive you're more powerful than being defensive you can actually listen whether it's right or wrong is a good discussion an important discussion but most importantly you don't have to become defensive you could really really listen and tune in and create space for them to process their emotions children need to process their emotions and today even 40 year olds still look to Mommy and tati sometimes to process their emotions you're lucky you don't have to cut it down and tell them how wrong they are how obnoxious they are how good you were and how much sacrifice you had that tell your therapist tell you shrigger she'll agree with you can I really listen it's hard for people to really really listen we become defensive but when I become defensive my child says to himself or herself they're doing it again there's nobody to talk to parents don't like hearing this they have to be more grateful maybe but the only way we can help people reach higher places is from within when we let them process what they're feeling and experiencing it and then grow from a place of inner awareness by cutting you down by and by trying to force you to amputate your heart and just do what I did really what she's saying to you is mommy you have a lot of trauma so now you just want to continue it for the next Generation this is your Mo tati I get it but let's try to create a paradigm shift what if we don't have to be defensive what if we could really listen maybe I'll learn maybe I'll grow can you create space for it one of the most powerful teachings I heard myself I was 14 years old I don't I can't tell you I understood it then but I heard it and I heard it very well until today it comes back to me and I could still see it in my mind's eye I could still see the rabbit sitting there were shop as partially if topshan member of 1985 the end of 85. I was a year after my bar mitzvah and the represent quoted the Rashi in the beginning of ayeshif a love was already an old man all he wanted was he wanted to retire in Israel yeah sounds familiar you buy a beautiful apartment I already dealt I dealt with Ace of I dealt with Love on I dealt with Asaf again I dealt with it's time to settle down is that such a bad thing he was over a hundredth I want a little serenity what happened the agony of Joseph being sold into slavery and disappearing for 22 years leaped upon Jacob and Rashi continues from the measures God says they want Serenity in this world it's not enough what they have there in Alabama and I still remember the Bible should have been asking the question but what is so bad it almost sounds like that yaakov was punished because he wanted tranquility is that really such a horrible thing is that such a terrible thing to say I want a little calmness in my life Comforts of love it's almost like a cruel sadistic response you want to relax those against love again not on my watch let me show you I still have in my bag of tricks something that's gonna rattle you and stir your kishkas you thought Ace of was bad you thought loved one was a gangster let me show you what's going to happen and indeed what happens now to Yakov is unfathomable thinking that Joseph is dead and really he wasn't dead come on and what's wrong if you give him Serenity and what's wrong for asking serenity and then the rabbit said but look in Rashi uses the word Sadiq asked for serenity and God says it's not enough but why are you calling them if it's such a bad thing to ask for serenity why are they called Sadiq so he says that's the key these will ask for it it's not a bad thing at all then he said something I'm going to say it in my own words the way I understood it and I have to say I still remember the emotions with which the river communicated this idea he became very emotional he was close to it was close I felt like almost the devil was crying I was almost crying but I'm not sure I understood it I'm not sure I understood it the Gamora says sometimes it takes 40 years to understand what you ever said sometimes sometimes it takes four decades or three decades to understand something you heard it but you're not ready to understand it and the rebel said Yakov wanted serenity the story of Joseph leaped at him it wasn't a punishment because he asked for serenity it wasn't even God defying his request you want relaxation no way you got the wrong world you got the wrong God it was a response to his request s was the response he wants Serenity here this is what happened because let's think about it what did the family look like at that time externally the family looked perfect it's a beautiful family right 12 Boys Around the table 12 girls around the table or daughters are more around the table everybody smiled at the bar mitzvah pictures everybody was like this everybody at the hassanas everybody was smiling the mitzvatans it was unbelievable the shatranam were like this is the perfect family unbelievable also the only Jewish family but also the perfect family at the surface everything looked beautiful but what was happening beneath the surface beneath the surface this was a split family the brothers hated the ice they couldn't speak to him they were jealous of him they wanted to kill him they ended up throwing him in a pit but the very notion that they wanted to kill him they wanted to kill him hide their footsteps hide the evidence throw them into one of the pits superficially it looked great internally there was so much pain there were so many wounds there was so much misunderstanding because Serenity what does serenity mean what does serenity mean there's superficial serenity there's Serenity which I sometimes call Serenity just leave me alone not my pain let it look good God says you deserve real serenity you need authentic serenity and the only way authentic Serenity can happen is if the infections come out and they're dealt with was not a Defiance of Jacob's request it was allowing this family to go through the healing that it needed for 22 years those 22 years everybody had to transform themselves yahoodah who said what money will there be in this kid staying in the pit let's sell it and save you who did 22 years later says I have guarantee I became the guarantor yes I will be a slave and let Ben Yemen Go free key how can I go up to my father without this young blood but not sure Egypt and he lived his last 17 years in Egypt 17 says those were the 17 best years of his life that was Serenity this was a healed family this was a family that processed its paid processed its emotions now the foundation for a Jewish people can happen when Brothers can trust each other when sisters can trust each other now the nation would be able to survive for the next three thousand three and a half thousand years it's a different type of Serenity sometimes we look at those children who shake up the family they sometimes leave the cotton Beaten Track they challenge their parents they deprive you from your night then your day they cause you Sleepless lights and you say reminders I have raised a beautiful family with sweat blood of Tears because shock of relationship all I want is a little serenity foreign but the truth is that sometimes it's these children who actually allow us to become real people and real Jews they allow us to transcend our egos to face our traumas to look at our triggers to see our insecurities and to finally decide whether we serve God or we servedi social system whether we are social conformists whether we are social conform thank you [Applause] these children challenge me they challenge you to go into the claiman to expose the Alfie claiman and ask myself what's really bothering me what's really bothering me my neighbors my relatives my in-laws my system my brother-in-law uncles aunts seminary schools you were supposed to be a Nachos machine hey not this machine where are you why are you malfunctioning okay let me take you to a therapist fix the nachos machine how much is it 300 okay no problem here's a credit card fix the knockers machine and send them back home when you're done laughs yeah we want to put them on a conveyor belt hatch them match them dispatch them and you know what if it works God bless for some it's amazing but some of you were blessed with deep souls and sensitive Souls they don't like conveyor belts they can deal with hypocrisy especially of their hsp's highly sensitive people their orchids they're not dandelions especially if there's been developmental trauma never mind if there's been molestation or abuse never mind if there was pain or dysfunction never mind if there's things we know or we don't know they may not even know and maybe even relegated to their subconscious and we all have to grow up and stop asking what's wrong with you and instead start asking what happened to you the question what's wrong with you is one of the most unfair questions give me your hand give me a heart and let's find out together what happened to you not what's wrong with you and in this processing of emotions what we're seeing today and mothers and fathers ask me every day where's all this trauma coming from where is it all coming from who created it and the answer is my dear friends also was at the end of ten Generations was at the end of tenderation but it was a big difference himself changed his generation and when you heal a generation you don't only heal that generation you heal retroactively all previous generations today we know with epigenetics that in our genes we carry the traumas that we experience they used to think trauma is just an event that happens to you no trauma goes into my genes so I may have in my genes the trauma of my father my grandfather my great-grandfather maybe 2 000 years ago your child may be carrying in his or her genes or your student or your disciple or your friend may be carrying in their genes your experiences your parents experiences your great grandparents experiences who knows how fact and it's coming out and you know what happens a generation is given the opportunity to heal retroactively all the previous generations because when you're talking about two things have to happen number one we have to become fully present in the relationship with all of our emotions but something else happens we become the tick on retroactively for all of Jewish history that was of ram avina's uniqueness the kibel's he fixed everybody when my trauma emerges in its full pain and instead of running away I can make space for it and I can be an empathetic witness it's not only me I heal I heal retroactively all the souls that I'm not here anymore but they carry it and they hold on to it that's who our children are healing that's who our youth are healing we need all we need reverence we need respect and we need a lot a lot of empathy for ourselves and for others and here's the word here's the rule you could never have empathy for others if you don't have empathy for yourself there's no way I could create space for your pain if I don't create space for my pain because if I don't create space for my pain and you share with me your pain all I'm doing is I'm naturally triggered to do with your pain what I do with my pain which is numbing or suppressing or repressing so when my children or my students are triggering me badly is be curious look at what's happening inside of you watch what's happening in your heart what's what's happening in your soul watch what what's happening in your nervous system create space for it and then you'll be able to create space for that person this is deep work this is what the balship said before you rebuke somebody else there's one more person you have to challenge it's yourself if I'm ever rebuking you from a place of anger an impulsive toxicity I'm not talking to you I'm trying to deal with my own inner chaos if I'm not regulated if I'm not self-regulated if I am in survival mode copy mode I'm an alligator I'm in my Reptilian Brain so I'm a reptile how do you expect a reptile to educate a child explain that to me you sometimes watch a parent or a teacher talking to a child and basically I'm watching it the child is seven and the teacher is two he went into this Reptilian Brain so he's in survival mode the child is seven and that's why the child sounds much more intelligent I don't blame him he's two he's seven if I'm not self-regulated if I can't go from my reptile limit Billy and Brent and my mammalian brain to my prefrontal cortex how in the world am I supposed to communicate to this student or to this child from a place of expansive Consciousness from a place of caring and empathy I'm just trying to cope I'm cook I'm literally choking and that's why natanya the biggest focus is you have to know which soul is talking when the balatanya that says you have enough shall a kiss we used to believe the altireba when he wrote this in 1790 1780 that he probably knew what he was talking about but in 1980 we got the CAT scans and suddenly when you look at the CAT scans you see the Tanya in the pictures the brain has literally layers it evolves this is your amygdala the stem of your brain The Reptilian Brain is it's just trying to live it relegates you're breathing it regulates your temperature it makes sure you're surviving all the systems that you desperately need biologically to live just like a crocodile or a lizard and then there is nothing Bahamas they call it the mammalian brain that's the elephant inside of me or the chimpanzee depends on the day sometimes the mouse sometimes the rat it's for the men's section it's the chimpanzee very emotional elephants are emotional they're mammals told nafisha Bahamas it's my little puppy or my German Shepherd that is very emotional my limbic brain never said Bahamas it's not bad it's just an animal just an animal that's trying to live and survive then you have Netflix it's a rational Consciousness prefrontal lobes prefrontal cortex allows for executive thinking allows for long-term Vision allows for weighing the pros and the cans delaying gratification seeing the bigger picture morality and then you have that which doesn't show up on the CAT scans because you can't take a picture of it the never shallow kiss you can't take a picture of it because it doesn't have a picture it's divine transcendent doesn't have an image it's a piece of divinity it's a derivative of the consciousness of infinity you can't take a picture on a CAT scan of infinity is if I'm in my survival mode there's no way I can tune into my Divine Consciousness kind of in tune into my rational consciousness this is the process that people need to be aware of in this generation when we want to develop that type of relationship that is not based on fear but based on real attachment based on real connection and every one of those children and that youth in your classroom or in your house or in your neighborhood Who rattles the community and rattles the family it's giving us a gift to achieve real serenity real relationships real authenticity a Yiddish guy that's not based on superficiality social Conformity hypocrisy suppression repression falsehood lies covering up criminals tolerating Injustice just to make sure that our system is perfect it's like the Jew who had diabetes and he had gout is painful and he was in the hospital the same room with a gentile the Gent fellow said gout the doctor came in and he turns to the Gentile and he says new show me the foot that has the problem shows him the foot and the doctor starts touching it he starts hollering the doctor starts poking he's a good doctor he's poke and he's screaming you never heard somebody scream like this for half an hour Ash right the doctor goes to the Jew he says no show me the foot Jew shows him his right leg he starts poking and hacking and Drilling and poking and needles and mices and the Jew is quiet the Gentile looks at him after the doctor leaves he says I have never seen a man with so much self-control how did you do it he says you think I'm stupid I showed him the healthy leg think I'm a shyter well her leg with the gout you don't do that I feel sometimes that we have become a community where we only like to show the healthy land we don't have another leg that's how the market interprets the the the man who came to Hama and hilly to teach me the whole Torah on one leg so the market says he didn't want that his mood should fluctuate he didn't want the roller coaster of life he always wanted stability consistency doesn't work that way a healthy Community could be self-reflective if Torah is true we don't have to cover anything up we don't have to cover up the molesters Among Us and the abusers Among Us and the stupidity Among Us and the lack of awareness and the cluelessness and we don't have to cover up our own mistakes if you're connected to truth you could be vulnerable we all did the best with the tools that we had and now comes the age of healing and the age of healing means we can talk vulnerably and honestly with authenticity and tenderness and compassion and love about our limitations about what we try to do and what we did about the fact that some of us had our brains shut down at the age of six and we are in survival mode yes and we didn't know any better I would say most divorces that I see happening today are not because couples are not compatible it's because one of them or both of them are living in active trauma and when you're in active trauma you simply are not functioning as a human being you can't if a tiger right now comes into the great synagogue right now and comes near me at the stender and all of you stand up and run and I say hey relax I'm talking to you no yeah and I say okay let's meditate we're going to meditate close your eyes feel the support feel the support of the ground feel your bench feel Sensations in your body and let's breathe and let's fool and let's expand the vegus nerve and let's get from that make the line to prefrontal and you're like Rabbi why why good luck I'm out I'm like why is this crowd so round like why can't you all relax the answer is because there's a tiger in the room that's what act of trauma means your wife is talking to you about Pacer plans there's a tiger in the room you either freeze you fight or flight or Fawn you can't function there's nobody there and there's a reason there's a tiger in the room probably at age three or four or five or six or seven whatever happened that part of the brain shut down and when it's triggered when these situations are triggered because you go into that space if I'm not aware of this how can I begin even to heal this awareness is painful but that's the gift of Our Generation all the all the issues are coming out you know why because God says it's time for Redemption it's time for intimacy you can't have intimacy when your heart and brain are offline intimacy is Oneness Vegas I can't have intimacy if I'm not here if I'm not alive if I'm not passionate if I'm not on fire but if my whole life I'm defensive I'm just coping It's A coping mechanism there's no intimacy at best there is survival so I may be religious because I'm trying to survive and religion fits into survival there's no ecstasy that's not gula oh that's what we're seeing and it's a gift it's an opportunity and we are forever going to be thankful to the young people who are challenging Us in this way every one of them every family now has somebody challenging them the only families I know that are still perfect are the families I don't know every family is being challenged one way or another and we want to just like throw them into therapy send him back when he's normal foreign you're trying to cope I get it I get it we need a support system you need to feel the pain but there's an opportunity here for real transformation for real growth and that's going to create relationships that are a completely different caliber completely different age and they're not only healing Our Generation they're healing retroactively our parents and our grandparents like of ram avino kibel skarakulam because the generation at the end of Gallos needs to heal all the generations from Adam that's why the kids are struggling so much they're not only dealing with my stuff and your stuff they're dealing with thousands of years of stuff it's coming out it's all coming out we go crazy like what's happening what what we were so bad you're much better than a lot of people that preceded you but the truth is they're carrying within them so much depth of hundreds of generations and of Rama Vino the Paradigm of love says come let's embrace not what happened not what's wrong with you but what happened to you and then we can go and heal and heal all that all those genes all those sensitivities and all of history experiences are taken when things are coming up for you and you want to run away you want to go into survival mode remember if you could stay present with your pain and stay present with your children's pain with your students pain with your grandchildren's pain you're not only healing you when you're not only healing that child you're healing all of history foreign when I was a child the night of pesach the river used to give matzah he would distribute matzah to uh people who helped out in his home or his Secretariat and my father was one of the people who would get matzah the night of pesox I went along with him for many years there ever had accustomed to the adults he would give a whole Matson to the children he always gave a broken mat a piece of a bro a piece of matzah now it's never a problem to find a broken monster because you're lucky even to find a whole matzah you know what I mean so he was always there was broken pieces he would give it to the children so every year when I went before Bar Mitzvah he would give my father a whole month and he would give me one of the pieces of broken matzah this is the first night of pesach after Myra before the Seder I remember one year I went in and it came my turn I was standing in front of the Obama by his room his face was glowing like a Malachi was the first night of peso he could see the energy the kadusha of pesach of Manchester on his holy face I'll never forget I was a kid and the rebel was standing by the door of his room he had his kapota his guard to his hat and he had a whole thing a whole pile of matzo covered in brown paper and he opened the paper and guess what it was all Hall matzah usually on top you have a lot of broken pieces so he started to lift it up he lifted up the first matzah to look for the broken piece no broken piece he lifted the second the third the fourth the fifth and there was no broken piece of months he went all the way down till the bottom and I don't know how but every matzah was completely whole and I still remember the rabbit took both of his hands he took the pile and he turned it over and he started to do it again I guess he thought maybe you know there was somewhere hidden over there right now if he claiming it's hidden over there so he turned it over literally and started again from the opposite direction because he turned it off and he went down again and there was no broken mats I'm standing there and what am I thinking I'm thinking about you don't tell I won't tell nothing will happen if you give me a whole matzah don't worry I'm not going to go down to 770 I make an announcement that 10 000 people hey I'll just go home with my what's wrong I'll get a whole matzah like is it such a tragedy if I get a whole Matsu even though I'm not by mitzvah I'm thinking this I didn't say any of this but he finished a second time and I could see as much as I could see that the rebel was like reflecting pondering what to do and uh I saw like like he started he was thinking whether to break to break a matzah but somehow he didn't want to break a matzah they don't want to so he walked away to go find a new pile of matzo a whole new pile of matzah which he would have to untie and open up and bring back so he started to walk away and I could see the rebel was like it looked like he was thinking and then he walked back and he took a matzah and he broke it he broke the matzah and he gave me the broken piece and he looked at me in the eyes and he said I cautious and I took the matzah and I went on I knew the story I was there but I never reflected on the story I was a little kid you know I got the broken monster they're ever broken in front of my eyes and that was it as years progressed and I went around the block a few times and I had to deal with some of my own traumas and struggles and I traveled the world that I met a lot of very special souls and a lot of broken Souls I reflected the story came back to me and I asked myself why did the rabbit not want to give me a homage and I saw he didn't want to break it but he broke it and he broke it in front of me and he gave it to me I don't know the answer but I could speculate and perhaps the speculation has some truth to it and that is I feel that the laborator was giving me or intimating a very subtle message and that is don't be afraid of broken places and don't be afraid of broken Souls and don't be afraid of confronting broken situations often it's very easy to be afraid it's afraid easy to be afraid of my own Brokenness afraid it's easy to be afraid of other people's Brokenness who wants to see Brokenness we like to see wholeness but there's going to be a generation where people are going to be confronted with a lot of Brokenness and we could do one of two things we can either say get your life together you loser it's just your imagination come on get over it you spoiled brat we could do that but what's really happening is it's our own it's our own Brokenness that cannot deal with somebody else's Brokenness so I have to become defensive I have to become aggressive or we could do something much deeper we can really really create space for our own Brokenness and space for other people's Brokenness and I think that night empowered me in a very powerful way that whenever I read an email or I hear a story where I meet somebody and people share a lot of broken stories lots of broken stories I get around 200 emails a day and it's not an exaggeration and people usually don't write to me Rabbi why why I won the lottery and I wanted to give you 50 percent that's not what a typical email looks like a typical email looks like right when I was seven years old now I'm 72. wow but I still know what happened when I was seven years old that's how it begins I'm not going to tell you how it ends you'll figure it out and I meet these people and I remember that moment with the devil when he looked at me in the eyes and he broke the matzah and he said I caution and Afraid looking pace because if you could look somebody in the eyes and become an empathetic witness for their pain you can also become a catalyst for their healing where you can really really create space for people's emotions something magical happens we don't realize how magical it is we often think empathy is just a cute nice little thing the alter Eber writes are the most important attribute in avoida's Hashem is empathy empathy is magical because when I become a womb a wreckham the word comes in the word which is a womb a womb doesn't judge a womb just contains when I could become a spiritual womb like mothers are physical wounds an empathetic witness for your journey but with real real empathy I have to suspend my triggers I have to suspend my ego I have to suspend my fear I have to suspend my defensiveness I have to suspend my insecurity I have to suspend my toxicity and guess what I have to stop justifying myself I have to stop telling you how righteous I was I have to stop telling you how I tried so hard I have to stop telling you how I'm a martyr I have to stop telling you that I'm God's gift to humanity I have to stop telling you that you're a brat I have to stop telling you that you could kick yourself into shape if you wouldn't be such a victim I have to stop philosophizing rationalizing justifying operating with my cerebral brain to suppress all pain I have to stop all of that that's hard if you're a Jew and you have a Yiddish a cup and this is what you've been doing your whole life and suddenly you have to go to a different place and I can emote I can experience that and I can even shed a tear with you and hold your hand and say let's take a walk together to find out not what's wrong with you but what happened to you what happened to me Souls have the power to heal the power is within the power is deep the power is profound and when I can actually be there with you in your pain where nothing has to be hidden anymore the afrikaiman could come out your soul will know exactly what to do in order to find the light of God there because it's always there it's always present you know still it's hard to Journey his heart and it's why I always found that in our generation it's fascinating I landed yesterday five o'clock my first speech was shortly after from bikashiak of leisure versava but that didn't happen so I went to begin ahoma like 60 000 Jews came to celebrate Yates kislav and I was there till like five in the morning there were two thousand people three thousand people there till 4 in the morning I finally ran out got to the hotel at 4 30. and I was thinking to myself you know I don't know if the last 200 the outer never came out of prison 224 years ago in 1798 when he came out of prison it was in Petersburg it was an island in Petersburg like Alcatraz they put the greatest criminals there because the prison is surrounded by a river on all sides so you can't run away I was there you could see it I was there when I was in Petersburg a few years ago because this was a place for capital crimes treason and alter devil was accused of treason he wanted to overthrow officially Powell the first when he came out of prison you know if I was a fly on the wall and I was watching it what would I think I would think okay I feel good for this rabbi but how important is this day I mean czarist Russia was in its full might and here was a fine Hasidic Rabbi who can go home okay very nice two centuries pass and we're his arrest Russia it's in Wikipedia and where's communist Russia in Wikipedia and we as president Russia after this thanks to Putin but this year Utah I think more classes for brangan's events happened in the whole world than in Israel probably more than in the last 224 years in Russia itself last night and tonight there are more than four hundreds in Russia Russia and Ukraine those who stayed in Ukraine more than 400 Gatherings fabrangians classes to Europe events in honor of Utah and that's talking about Russia itself the question is what happens why is that happening the answer is because the Jewish people as the Gomorrah says page 66. the Jewish people they may not be prophets but they're children of prophets in other words the Jewish immune system is very powerful Jews feel they feel things the Jewish Collective Consciousness has divine inspiration and the Jewish people feel and they know that the teachings of the balshev the teachings of the balatanya of and their students are the oxygen for Our Generations and I use the term oxygen because what does oxygen do oxygen is not luxury oxygen is literally it allows you to live it allows you to thrive and allows you to function because in a generation like ours when people are processing so much and there is so much anxiety and there is so much stress and there was disappointment and there is uncertainty on one level there is prosperity and there are Miracles and there are incredible blessings and on another level there's a lot of stress and exhaustion and anxiety and mental illness and Trauma emerging it's like a paradox I have found in my life and I believe it's true in the lives of so many who have tasted and internalized the light of the balsham and the altered by the light of siddhas that the oxygen the inspiration it gives in this time is incredibly powerful why because number one it always taught and always understood and always communicated the truth and that is that there's never a situation where your internal core can be damaged one of the key teachings of the balsamtov is despite anything that happened in your life even if I have been in coping mode for 50 years straight the core of my soul is a helix it's divine and therefore it's infinite and therefore it's indestructible and therefore its power is absolute and non-negotiable and therefore all the confidence and all the charm and all the creativity and all the Curiosity and all the love and all the joy and all the optimism that the soul essentially has could never be obliterated and eliminated even if I had no access to it for so many years because my core was an exile in golus that conviction that awareness that knowledge about yourself and about your loved ones is incredibly powerful but it's teachings ever go one step further and say it's not just your core is powerful it's even deeper than that they take you one step further and they say even all your negative emotions are searching for healing and correction and tikkon there's an amazing teaching of the magnet of Ms Rich again whose yard scientist today and the market says listen Open Your Hearts Joseph is in the house of potifier the wife of patifa is trying to seduce him one day he comes home and there's nobody home and this is her opportunity and she says lay with me and the talmud quotes the opinion that Joseph surrendered he couldn't hold back anymore and what happened the last moment he saw an image of yaakova's father in the window and when he saw that image he ran out he fled and the market of misrich says what did he see he didn't know what Jacob looked like what does it mean he saw the image of yakova's father in the window and that was it listen to what the Margaret says he says as follows patifra's wife was beautiful she was Charming she was creative she was appealing she was exciting the Gomorrah says that she changed her uniform three times a day she changed her outfit breakfast lunch and dinner in order to impress Yusuf I imagine the credit card bill of potipher three times a day a new outfit every day of the week it's like in the pace of hotels a lot of anxiety you know I tell my wife my packing is simple black black black black black white you don't like it don't look at me there was something very powerful about her and Joseph was touched he was drawn to her says the Magid What stopped him he saw the image of yakova's father it says in Zohar that yaakov is the embodiment of Midas atiferas yaakov embodied the Divine attribute of beauty when Joseph looked at bytifra's wife suddenly he saw the image of yakova's father says the Maga this was a psychological process the Joseph asked himself what am I really looking for she's a married woman what am I really looking for you could just tell yourself your emotions are bad you're a horrible person you have a crush and you're not supposed to have a crush you're evil you're going to burn that's the gulless way of doing it to Google a way of doing it is you're looking for something you're searching for something putifi's wife represents something that you need what is it and Joseph had an answer to Ferris there's a beauty there's a Harmony that I'm searching for there's a wholeness that I need and then Yosef says but one second the source of tifference is jacobino so why should I go and use a much lower base level of tiferous which is not even mine which is going to create and wreak havoc and destruction when I can go back to the source and get real Beauty which will actually fill my soul because it's not an addiction it's something that I can actually make mine he ran away not because he ran away from patifa's wife because he actually understood what he wanted with patifra's wife and he went to the source he identified the source meet us atiferous in simple English it may mean sometimes if I don't have a father I search for relationships to fill the void Dr twersky once told me once told me he says Rabbi why why let me tell you something I have 60 years of experience he told this to me in Boca six years of experience has taught me that the addicts Among Us are the most spiritual Among Us and they couldn't numb their pain with ruggalak and jalapeno Herring and your xiaomi kugel like some of us so they went to alcohol to drugs they destroyed themselves you know why because their void was deeper because their spirituality was deeper and I'm done I'm good I feel bored vodka more bored another papka more bored okay some shawarma that's why I look so good the annex Among Us Dr twersky said doesn't work for them the Kiddush Club doesn't work the rubber lock doesn't work even the cheesecake doesn't work imagine hard for me to imagine but yeah the spiritual Souls Among Us they actually need God they need God and if they don't have God they go to other extremes and every day they need more and more and more and more but really what they need is they need a father they need a mother Yousef realized that he said I don't need patifa's wife I need my father and I can have my father because he had a father he had a father he didn't have to go to her so what the market is teaching us is instead of telling yourself how bad you are can you really identify how good you are but perhaps my wounds are searching to fill their void and therefore they have evolved to become toxic negative this is a much deeper way that's why the Tanya says you could transform your animal's Soul you don't have to kill your animal's Soul transform it how do you transform your animals so because when my animal Soul gets angry at my spouse or my children when I get jealous when I get vengeful when I get hateful when I get resentful when I get meshooka when I get anxious instead of condemning myself and telling me why why you're evil can I accept a broken matzah and say wow what are you looking for what is this anger protecting you from I have to say I was very impressed with dick Schwartz's no bad parts ifs because I started to read his model of healing and he has this word he says your core is an exile and then you have a bunch of protectors and firefighters and it's like the whole Tanya says the soul is in gullus and then you have Clipper what's Clipper Clipper is a protector so we look at it protective we say you're bad I'll trip it says you're not bad it's an animal trying to survive when you get angry at your spouse telling you something there's something happening there's pain can I ask what I am looking for the same is true when you have a crush the same is true when you're looking for when you're addicted to this website or that website the same is true when you're addicted to one thing you're looking for something very beautiful but all you have is the wife of patifa because she always makes herself available you know that that's her thing she has an unlimited credit card she's good yikes have had the vision to say way way there's something much deeper here and then you sublimate and then there's the third teaching of the balatanya that becomes oxygen for Our Generation and that is you weren't sent into this darkness and into this trauma by mistake God was with you all the time holding your hand because there's something that you have to bring out from that Darkness we're in yerushalayim so I want to conclude with a Jerusalem story I love this story it's so meaningful it tells us how much we don't know it was once a wedding and who was at the wedding and they had a battery you know what a batkin is a jokester like a gesture but who's going to make jokes in front of not an easy task so you know what he did he drank he drank a lot so he could open up so he turns it out today and he says after a lot of thoughts I decided there's no difference between you and me between you and I why he says whatever I know you also know whatever okay whatever I know you know whatever you don't know I also don't know so what's the difference there's a couple of things you know and I don't know but he says but how does that compare to what you don't know started to cry how does what you know compare to that which you don't know which is infinite he started to cry that's so that was his bad harness when he was tipsy the humility that we don't know is so important why was this Soul sent down this Corridor of Darkness I don't know and when I say the words I don't know I choose them carefully because Esther was valedictorian of Base Yakov you're shalim and benebrook she was also a valedictorian of basehanna [Music] and hamdas and all the other seminaries and schools were coming after her like there's no tomorrow Esther was creme Dallas the best family in Iran it was Jewish it was very Jewish there and then who took her at the end a drunkard alcoholic Persian mashugana monarch by the name of and Mordechai at some point says esterca Mio idea who knows if this is not the reason you went down that place you're going to save the Jewish people and he says it's not something that I can understand or figure out with my cerebral brain there's some things Beyond us and that's why how do we celebrate Purim the journeys of life you will not process through a cerebral mathematical process the journeys of life you Embrace with humility with faith with openness and with appreciation of the infinity of life's Journeys and Mysteries so there's a Jew he's 94 years old or 95 years old today and his name is Frank and he shared the story I heard him tell the story Rebecca Frank was born in August 1929 his grandfather Rapid City Frank was the chief Rabbi of Jerusalem after if Cook passed away in 1935. 3 Pastor Frank became the great great Rob of yerushalayim for many decades he was a great Thomas he was a brilliant scholar but his part equaled and matched his mind he was a loving humble beautiful person Frank known as the heart sweet very special man he lived not far from him if she pays a Frank I had a grandson who was born of after Tish above toughrish pay test 1929. his briss was the next Shabbos she pays a Frank had to be that Shabbos in heaven for a Chevy brakes of his family but because his son had a baby his daughter had a baby and he would be the Sonic at the bris so he stayed back in Jerusalem that Shabbos was the covered Massacre 60 17th of of 18th above 69 69 Jews were axed to death by the Arab terrorists the three base of Frank and his wife were both saved because they stayed behind the yerushalayim for the briss of this boy who would be named yaakov Frank who lives in today 94 years old 1929 94. 24 of the Jews murdered were students of yeshiva's chevrons came in the 1920s from Lithuania and built a Yeshiva in heaven classes Yeshiva 24 of the Jews murdered were Yeshiva students young boys who were killed one of them a few of them were American one of them was an American Boy and in America in the 20s there were no yeshivas Toyota of a dots would open a little later Yeshiva University would open then but there was no infrastructure of yeshivas and he was a brilliant young man and he wanted to learn so he asked his parents if he can go to Israel Palestine and they agreed and he went to learn in heaven he was from Philadelphia and he did amazingly well in 1929 things got very very chaotic here there were riots and the parents were worried for their son so they sent the telegram to the roshishiva excuse me and they asked if their son could come back they want him back there was a Shiva astrophy Frank to intervene and he said since you have connections with communities in America because everyone used to ask him questions in writing do you know the rabbi of that show in Philadelphia see Facebook Frank said yeah she said could you write him a letter and tell him that in heaven everything is safe because one of the leaders of heaven was rebelser Dan slonem he was on the Council of Heaven he was a banker he spoke Arabic he was very close with the Arabs so the Jews of Heaven felt protected in fact when the pogrom started they all went to his house he had a gun they dive in there and then somebody took away his gun and he was murdered his wife was murdered and all the Jews in his house were murdered during chakras but Heaven is safe because rosh hashiva said is said to lose this boy going back to America we're going to lose him and he's a budding Diamond he's a budding leader his charismatic and creative and wise and we need we need these types of leaders and he sent the message to the rabbi in Philadelphia please tell the parents Heaven is safe they shouldn't take their boy home and they listened and the boy stayed in heaven and he was murdered Frank could not forgive himself he felt that literally he mixed in and he was indirectly guilty the parents were worried they wanted to bring this boy home he convinced them not to bring him home and the boy was murdered which means he felt he had blood on his hands it was indirectly obviously and it was non-deliberate but he felt ultimately why did he make sin when he did not know the situation and why did he give such advice and he could not forgive himself now he wouldn't talk a lot about it but his grandson yaakov whom because of his breasts ruptcy pesach was saved with him he shared the story he said you know I was saved because of your breasts and this boy I caused his murder and he could never ever forgive himself years passed Rebecca Frank told the story it's 1960. that's 30 years that Massacre was 29 so this is 31 years after the Reverend pogrom and he's in Milwaukee he goes to the IDF he's already 30 years old 31 years old and he's a reservist at the IDF 1960. and they're in training they're doing imunim and one night it was a Wednesday night there was somewhere in a field doing training and it started to pour and they went into the trenches but the water was so powerful the downpour was so intense that the trench is filled up with water and they were there for hours soaking and in the trench that he went in there was another man also a reservist who went into the same Trend so now they're both soaked the floods are coming down they're drenched to the core of their bones they're freezing but they're there in middle of the night in some place so you start talking to each other what's your name what's your name Jacob Frank jacof Frank grandson of repsite you know Jewish geography the great capital is Jackie Mason he's the guy who repeated my jokes so Jackie Mason once said if two Jews meet then within three minutes they don't establish a family connection one of them is not Jewish so he says uh yaakov Frank yeah you're the grandson of Sipes of Frank he says yeah so he says to him wow how is your grandfather doing he's great and they're talking what do you do he says I'm a historian of the yeshu of Israel I'm a historian of the Yeshua in Israel before the state was established in 48. so he starts talking about the heaven program and how he saved his grandfather because he was a son that got his briss and then he tells him you know my grandfather is still brokenhearted because of that heaven boy who was murdered so this historian looks at him they're in the trenches and he says do you know the end of the story he says what ended the story The Boy was dead the boy was killed what's the end of the story he says you know there's another part to the story he says I never know so he says well this father the father of the boy who was slain was a big Maher in Philadelphia he was a diplomat and he was very close to many politicians in the state department and he made a ruckus he went to the state department and he says it's the British who are guilty because how did they stop the government the British came and they shot and the rioter is left because the rioters didn't have live ammunition they used knives they used they used hatchets they used axes and when the British started to shoot they all ran away why couldn't the British shoot early Shabbos morning why couldn't they shoot Friday night they let it happen they were accomplices to the murder of these Jews and he made such a commotion in the state department they put pressure on the British and they replaced the commander of the British president the British mandate the one in charge and they sent a military man by the name of Arthur wakov he was sent by the British to replace the leader of the British the British Authority mandate here in Palestine Arthur walkoff and the man says to Yakov Frank Arthur welkov started to travel the land thank you when he started when he started to travel the land he fell in love with Israel he fell in love with him and he liked he liked the Jewish people and he came here in 1931 and his tenure continued to 1937. and during his tenure he opened up the gates and he allowed anyone who wanted to immigrate to Israel and because of that close to 400 000 Jews could come here in fact because of him he says when Hitler Rose to power in Germany in 1933 many German Jews and Austrian Jews could come here and many other Jews from Eastern Europe made Aliyah because he opened the doors and not only that he quadrupled the ability of Jews to own territory to own assets to own ground and Earth in Israel almost five times the amount and he almost quadrupled the number of Jews living in Israel when he came here to around 150 000 Jews and then when he was done in 1937 he was gone officially because of an illness some say he was fired whatever it is the number was much much higher and he looks at yaakov Frank he says I just want you to realize one thing in 1948 during the independence War there was 600 000 Jews here one percent of them were killed six thousand Jews were killed in the war of independence but if not for Arthur wakov there wouldn't have been 600 000 troops there would have been much much much less and there was no way naturally they could win any War so just realize that despite the horrible horrible tragedy that story caused Arthur wakov to come to Israel and because of that today they can build a country of Israel and 200 000 Jews were saved from Auschwitz because they could come here during those years so we don't know why that boy was killed but we should just realize that the whole Israel and hundreds of thousands of Jews owe their life to that boy because of what happened yaakov Frank was stunned it's 1960 he said my grandfather never heard the end of the story nobody ever told us to him nobody knew it I have to tell this to him he says go ahead at that point it was three in the morning and the commander said listen this training is not going anywhere because this rain is not stopping you can all go home you have an early huffish go home and they're drenched they say patroni they go home he comes home he was exhausted he was tired he tells his wife yaakov tells his wife they had a baby he tells his wife anina Saba I'm going right away to Sabah to the three PESA Frank she says you go visit him every Shabbos every Shabbos after Dominic he walked an hour and a half to go visit his grandfather he says no I have to go now I said what do you have to go I have to tell him something she says go he comes Thursday to his grandfather she pays a Frank reads him and says I thought you were in sahal what happened so he tells him the story they were soaked and the commander said they can go home and I wanted to come he says why do you have to come are you coming Shabbos anyway he said I have to tell you something he says what do you want to tell me before you tell me first a cup of tea he puts up the kettle he gives himself and his grandson a cup of tea he says and he tells his grandson his grandfather the whole story of what he just heard in the trenches about the consequences of the death of that boy and how it changed history in Israel she pesach listens and he says wow I never knew this literally you just took a stone that was on my chest for 31 years and you removed it and he said you know I'll never forgive myself for what I did but I realized that there's things I just don't know and stories have continuations in ways that people don't know and he thanks him and he walks him to the door and he says I want to tell you something you didn't have to bother and leave your wife and child when you're anyway coming for Shabbos you didn't have to but I will never be able to thank you enough for the fact that you rushed right over here and you told the rest of the story and he escorted him out he gave him a kiss and he said Shalom and he left shop this morning this was his custom every shop this morning Jaco Frank finish davening then he walked an hour and a half to go to visit his Sabah and say shabbat shalom on the way he passed his brother-in-law's house his brother-in-law comes out and says you don't have to go he says why not he says Sabah passed away Shabbos eight o'clock in the morning it was Shabbos told us kislov passed away suddenly at the age of 87. this week is his yard sight and he just passed away two hours ago there's nowhere to go jacquer Frank was stunned the next day was the funerals was the funeral 1977. this is a revolution in the Israeli government for the first time it goes from the left to the right becomes the prime minister of Israel some of you may even remember it till then Israel belonged to the left Menachem begin who was always in the opposition became the prime minister of Israel who did he hire and as one of his people was yaakov Frank and he was in charge of helping build the territories in Yehuda and shamran ache and sent him to the United States of America to do some work on this behalf of the Jews living in those areas and building up the stachem and in the process he told him to go visit the labavator so 1977 yako Frank came to visit the labavator in Brooklyn he went in he introduced himself to Rabbi asked him of course the Jewish question are you related to Ipsy PESA Frank and he said I'm his grandfather and he said he ever looked at him and said tell me stories about your grandfather so he told them about his grandfather and the devil saysipur tell me another story tell them another story kept on asking him for more stories and finally he said and tell me one more story so he decided to tell this story and he told this story the rebel listened and when he finished the rebel looked at him and he said I want to tell you something I always tell my students and I always tell anybody who listens to me that when you have an opportunity to do something good don't delay it because any way you look at it it doesn't make sense to delay it if it's something that's not worth doing then you shouldn't do it even in six months and if it's something that's worthwhile doing then do it today don't do it tomorrow don't do it in two hours do it now and do it today and he says look if you would have waited for Shabbos to tell your grandfather this story you would have never forgiven yourself you would have never forgiven yourself and your grandfather would go to the next World with this heaviness because you had the conviction to go now and go right now so look what happened your grandfather died that shot this morning a day later with a sense of peace and you had that sense of Peace how grateful you are to yourself for doing that he said look at this lesson when there's something good to do do it now azerbiakov shared the story I thought to myself here you see the words of martyride who understands people's Journeys who understands where Souls have to end up when you look at yourself or you look at different Souls especially the souls of your loved ones and you see that their God Journeys sometimes very complicated ones and very difficult ones and very painful ones it's very easy to go into a place of guilt and shame and self-loathing and negativity and toxicity and blame this one and blame that one but we really have to have the humility and the awareness that we don't know we don't know when to understand Journeys we don't know Mysteries what we do know is every soul has its Mission it's a and if I can Embrace that and realize that the places I ended up in and the places I went to and even the mistakes I made and things that happened to me were not random they weren't just tragic tragic stories that created so many complications but rather like Yusuf they were opportunities for unbelievable growth even if it came with pain because there's something that happened as a result there's something you took out from that experience there is something you have because of that that the world needs there is a light that God wanted you to retrieve from the darkness and it's why he took you down that path and the world needs that light today this then is what about something and the balatanya taught never see yourself only as a victim because remember these three things number one the soul could never be damaged ever it says infinite and as bright as eternity itself number two even the challenges and negativity I'm dealing with are husks they're shells their protectors like Joseph be curious and you will see that your crushes your addictions your anger your garbage your complicated stuff not only should you not be ashamed of them but with tenderness and compassion ask them what they need ask them what they're looking for so you can heal your animal Consciousness so you can heal your Reptilian Brain so you could bring God into all the parts of yourself so you could bring Oneness into all the parts of yourself so you could bring in Consciousness into all the parts of yourself and number three remember that even in those moments of Darkness you were never alone God was with you holding your hand game and like Yosef remember that in life sometimes you feel like you were buried and you have good proof for it people have been throwing lots of sand and Earth over you and Joseph was the first one who knew what it felt like because he was thrown into a pit not once but twice once by his brothers and the other one the other time by potipher's wife what was the secret a secret is he realized he was not buried he was planted when you plant a seed technically you bury it but you're not burying it it's planted and suddenly a few years later the problem is in order for seeds to Blossom you need water Joseph's pit didn't have water but it had a different type of water the Torah says Jacob didn't stop crying his father's tears the tears that represented the fact that I believe in this boy and I don't believe he's dead and I will not stop thinking about him because he's not dead He's Alive those tears irrigated the cistern the pits where Joseph was buried so that he could be planted in fact it says so clearly and tell him who was planted with tears you know anybody that was planted with tears yes the man who was carrying the sheaves who dreamed about the sheaves bowing down to him ultimately became the man who gave those sleeves to the whole world and sustained them in the famine and sustained his own family where did these sheaves grow from they grew from the tears of a father who would not stop believing in his child of a father who would not become disconnected from his child of a father who always knew the power of His Child and believed in his child so that the child could believe in himself those tears with Joseph's confidence that God was with him allowed him to transform burial into Plantation and the pit became a Wellspring of growth of awareness that transformed civilization the word Joseph means growth and hence it's why the teachings of the balsham and the altareb which highlight these ideas again and again and again can oxygenate the generation and allow people to switch on the light in yourself that not only represses Darkness but sublimates and transforms Darkness as a preparation for the complete Oneness a Oneness that means we can show up to life and relationships and Yiddish guide with our Full Hearts and our full souls and our full passion as the Oneness is revealed in the world Hashem thank you thank you thank you [Applause] this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at www.theyushiva.net donate