Achiezer 9 Days Community Event with Rabbi Joey Haber

foreign Rabbi Heber I first wanted to start and think Mr Mr motion majeski who sponsored tonight's Guinness in honor of the majesky and hurts families and an honor of Rabbi Bender not me I also wanted to thank nachmaninister Goodman as well as yaakov invina Greenwald of the Jewish press for helping dedicate tonight's evening there's a long paragraph which our Behavior does whispered to me not to talk about about who he is but I'm just gonna for a few seconds not even our Behavior was doing his homework on the community he's no stranger to the five towns community he's Spoken Here a number of times different yeshivas in schools and I told him in the hallway now that it's not an exaggeration that we have received since about 6 PM over a hundred separate requests already where people can get the recording and there's a reason why but what I want to talk about in front of our behavior for 30 seconds before I introducing is our community so he has an idea of who he's speaking to and I sort of told him this this morning when we spoke what I'm going to say it publicly and how do you describe a community that's rooted in a community that really understands what it means call yourself especially during the nine days and yes we can talk about the amazing people across the community who do whatever it takes to help others and in a variety of ways we're not going to list all the different requested opportunities that exist within the community within achiezer that the amazing staff deals with all day what I told our behavior I'm saying here and with that I'll introduce him was this past Friday it wasn't even 72 hours ago I guess um somebody told me something that he witnessed and I think that is why we're here tonight and that is the kind of community or behavior that we have there was a so has it volunteer that went to deliver some items to one of his children before Shabbos in a camp upstate this happened two days ago and he went to the parking lot of the camp negotiated with a security card to get through as we all know how it works the packages you could you can't and his son was waiting for him with another friend of his he gave his son Gomorrah that his wife had cooked baked shows how much I know and that was the end of it the young man leaned into his father's window to uh to get a broker he's not going to be bench Friday night because he's going to be in Canada and this was witnessed by somebody who's not here now who saw it from four feet away and he leans in and the young son and he gives him a bracha noticing out of the corner of his eye that the friend that was with his son was awesome and he's watching his friend get benched by his father and for a brief moment it was uncomfortable as everybody there realized the uncomfortable occurrence and the father quickly benched his son all being witnessed by somebody who told it to me who's now telling it to the whole world and without batting an eyelash this amazing person a volunteer of the organization of the community who many of you know some don't know he calls the other boy over call him Ari and he beckons him over almost as if Ari knew what was coming and Ari came over the young fatherless boy leans his head through the window and collects his brother as well I told her I Behavior this because I think that brief moment represents the kind of community that we have a community that really lives and breathes to make sure that they are there for somebody else that they can ease the pain of somebody else our Behavior speaks I told you I wouldn't do this in many places but I know that he's excited to be here tonight and without further Ado did I ask every Joey Haber to give us some different hosairis thank you Alexander I'm sure you get this a lot and so when people talk to you they start talking about your father but I would rather talk about The Incredible family that you have you and your siblings and each one of them being involved in the community and I guess I understand it a little bit because in the Syrian community that we're pretty proud of um my father sir Rob always had a lot of impact and he has a bunch of sons all that are trying to imitate our illustrious father so hearing about your brothers and the relationships that you have and what each one of you are doing in your own way to help build the communities in five towns and in essence help the entire claw yourself is an inspiration so it's an honor to be here and it's honored to be on behalf of and to see the crowd of people that came out here tonight to to hopefully be inspired only a few days before to show up I want to begin with what we're missing and then we'll talk about how to get it back I heard this the other day oh by the way am I speaking Safari ashkenaz I always ask this question when I'm around this area tell me oh I've been there which way do I go no I could go either way because like some people like Ashkenazi because I'm sure most of the room was ashkenaz and then other people like smarty because it's like it's like having like a British accent it's like cool so you don't know which way you want me to go some combination is that what we're doing okay I heard this muscle in the name of the club it's Ryan he says to understand and appreciate the loss of the base I miktas says there was once a little boy of excuse me a man who realized that he has an investment that he can make and if you would invest a hundred thousand dollars he could earn millions of dollars over the coming years that would provide for his family forever after a little while he gets a check for a hundred grand and he's going to use this for the Investments he puts the check on his dining room table and little ill-advised he leaves the room and the check is laying here on the table after a half hour is four or five-year-old son comes into the dining room sees a little piece of paper on the table says this is fantastic so he goes and he grabs the paper and he starts running around the house with the paper no one's even noticing what he has in his hand until he passes the fireplace and he trips and the piece of paper falls into the fireplace and burns and the kid starts hysterical crying because his paper just burned so the kid as the kid is crying the mother in the kitchen hears the baby the little boy crying so she comes to see what's the whole commotion and she looks in the fireplace and she sees the check is burning so she starts screaming and she starts crying so now he's crying she's crying there's chaos in the house the father was upstairs hears all the commotion he comes running downstairs looks in the fireplace sees what's happened and now he starts crying says all three of them are crying the baby the mother the father but each one of them for a different reason the baby is crying because his piece of paper got burned the mother is crying because a hundred thousand dollars just got destroyed the father is crying because the potential of millions more just got burnt the baby understands it one way the mother understands it another way the father understands it completely differently we miss our base I met us maybe to some of us it's because it was a beautiful edifice and maybe there's more of us who have a deeper understanding and understand it's not just about a building that's beautiful and yerushalayim and it's Heyday it's the ability to serve Hashem in the base but then there are those that have understanding of the father Hashem looks down and he says no you both don't get it had the base I make that's been around for the last 1900 and approximately 50 years you don't know how good much greater the world exponentially would have been so we're here at a time that said and feels sad and ashkenazim usually on most years feel the sadness more than us farther because you have the nine days we just have which means that the clean clothing and the shaving and the showers and all that stuff is only us of us that week the past three or four years Tisha Bob was on a Sunday said there's no weak so we took hot showers the whole three weeks saved everything was clean the whole time now this year in our community teachables on Thursday we don't know what to do with ourselves it feels like already the fast began because everything's uncomfortable like it should be because we're missing this incredible opportunity so let's talk about what is likely the number one reason why we're here I think almost every religious Terror observant Jew believes in every single one of the 612 misses everybody cares about 612 mixers we keep Shabbos properly we put missus on our door we keep kosher we dress appropriately we dive in three times a day in the morning in the afternoon we try to respect our parents if we're good we all work hard to be honest in our business but there's one number 613 there's one mitzvah that it seems like almost everybody struggles with it's hard to find one person that could say that they are really exceptional at this one item and that is speaking Lush and horror about our friends we do everything we could learn 14 hours in a day we kadav in vasikin but to not speak Russian hard to sit at a Friday night table and only talk about what we're supposed to talk about for most of us is nearly impossible but if we're going to be the generation that rebuilds that incredible edifice if we're going to be those people we need to somehow fix this our goal tonight is to talk about it's not in order number 613 but in order of easiness it's the hardest one in the book we're gonna talk about this one concept that we all struggle with it's brutal for us sometimes to do it for one hour you got to have three people that are single two people that are dying to give an hour of not speaking Russian are out of 24. and we're proud of ourselves that we do a marks on the fee from two o'clock to three o'clock in the morning when we're sleeping because you always choose the hour of that like no no not that hour dinner lunch no I'm in the car no way it's such a struggle it's so hard for us so let's understand what it is and then we'll understand how to change it so the gamara writes ha there's nobody who knows how to speak better than this person he is the greatest or the worst last shown at our speaker of all time who is the worst La Sean harass speaker in the history of the world who is that person Haman so for a minute you're going to bear with me I'm going to go to the story of Purim and we're going to see the lushidhara that Haman speaks because if he's the king he's going to teach us how it's done so hopefully we can learn how to do it differently here's what Holland said as he prepared to be willing to destroy our nation here's what he said there is a nation yes there's one nation that's dispersed amongst the other nations of course all of the countries all the provinces of your kingdom with they're different their laws are different than any other nations and they don't keep the rules of the king and there's no point in the king keeping them around they don't listen to the Lords what's he talking about so the Gomorrah explains what he meant with each phrase there's a nation that's dispersed amongst other nations and what that means is that they don't eat your food they won't marry your daughters and they won't let their daughters marry your sons and they don't do the rules that the king says what does that mean that means all day they're not talking about your laws instead all week they're talking about it Shabbos today it's Arab Shabbos is coming there's a there's a a millionth of coming a big hunter coming they're just talking about Shabbos and yantev all the time they're never busy with your holidays they're always talking about their own holidays and the King has no value for them you know why your highness you have no value for them listen to this if a Jew has a cup of wine and a fly falls into the cup that you would take the fly throw it out of the cup and drink the cup of wine I'm not sure if actually but technically they would get rid of the fly and drink the cup of wine we're doing good with the phones tonight I give a woman's share every single week and there's always bones but if it's possible if you could turn off the ringer and once you turned off your own ringer it may be helped the person next to you just like on the plane with the life jacket first do your own then do your friends if there's a fly they take it out but you are asparish if you would move their cup of wine they wouldn't drink it oh the phone's getting better you you if yours was taken out they have you touched it they wouldn't drink it here's my question on this command I just told you what he said and I told you what he meant here's my question you know what my question is that every single thing Hammond said about us was true we don't marry their daughters we don't eat their food we don't want it I was their sons marrying our daughters we do talk about Chavez all the time in yantev all the time it's all true it's true that if there was a fly in the cup we'd throw it out but if Australia's touched it we wouldn't everything he said is true not just it's true we're proud of it where is that just something that happens to be true that's a negative we're literally to us every single one of these rules is a positive so how is this the greatest Lush in horror of all time when in reality it's something that every Jew is proud of explains it in a beautiful way he says here's what horror is Russian horror is all about how you see what you see that means you're seeing it how do you see it you're seeing something how are you perceiving it you could take the exact same thing and he could perceive it bad and he can proceed it good in fact they tell the story of a rock who was once walking this is I know if it's from the the measures I forget but they tell the story of a Rob who is walking on the road and he was working with tamidam and he sees a dead dog on the road that's sitting on rotting on the floor so the road turns to just tell me them and says what do you see they said what do we see we see a dead rotten dog they said to him what do you see he says I see bright white shiny teeth one group sees the dog another group sees shiny teeth when you see stories when you see people how do you see them you see we have a problem we are addicted to negativity we love negativity every news story is negative going to the car right now after we're done turn on the radio I guarantee you within a few minutes you'll hear negativity every new story about government about Hollywood about sports it's all negative he's not good he doesn't play well he we should get a new governor we should get a new mayor we should get a new president everything out there is negative that's all we talk about is negativity the world the social media is all exciting because it's negative so what happens is we're literally attached and so accustomed to negativity so if I see something I automatically see a rotten dog my brains aren't my my eyes and brain are not trained in any way to see white teeth because I was just driving on the Verrazano and there's only one thing I remember from my drive all the way from Deal New Jersey all the way to here is one thing I remember a car accident on the Verrazano Bridge there's thousands of cars that were driving fine I don't know any of them I just have in my mind the image of a train wreck of the car with the airbags open and fire engines around it that's the only thing I see because we're so trained and so conditioned to see negativity rights as follows when he's talking about humility he says what's a humble person a humble person walks around and sees how everybody is better than him that means he walks around and says wow that person he's smarter than me that person is dumber than me yet is doing more so they're probably greater because they're not as smart as I am yet they're doing incredible things that person gives a lot of stuck on that person within their means I can they sacrifice to give dead stalker every person find the reason why that person is better than you said so basically I'm supposed to look around the world and see that what is the eight billion people on the planet Earth so I have to rate myself seven billion 999 million 999 999. I am the last guy on the planet Earth that's how I have to look at every single person as being better than me what does it mean here's what it means what it means is when you see people see their beauty don't say ah that person's not as smart as me wow that person's incredible what they're doing because every single person you know you could see them two ways because it's all about how you see what you see every single person you know you could see them either this way or that way every person I'll give you an example this is a personal one so people that like my speeches will often say that one of their favorite things are that one of the things that I probably do maybe more than almost anyone else is I tell a lot of personal stories I tell my own prayers about this story that story my daughter my son my wife my this my that and the people who are fans of my speeches will say I love the fact that you tell all these personal Stories We I relate to them I feel like you're talking about my own kids you feel like talking about my house when you talk about your house good and I get that comment bargain sample all the time a year ago I was having a meeting with someone who was really upset at me and the meeting lasted for about an hour and this person was just wiping the floors telling me everything negative and every like just forget it destroying me you don't think that happens to rub on him I guess I'm just telling you right now that's a personal story you just got it and in the middle of the meeting he says and you know what everyone says all you do is talk about yourself and I was like wow I never looked at it that way and most people that are commenting say wow I love you tell the story usually the stories are vulnerable usually stories don't make me look good I didn't tell you just now about the meeting about the person who told me on the best things in his life spread I told you about the meaning of the guy was sampling me but he wants to see me negative he sees a dead dog you want to see positive it's always a way to find white teeth I'll give you another what I think is incredible example it says in the time of David he was conquering different portions of land that were controlled by the polished him and in one section it says that there was a statue a stat two statues one Statue was a statue of a blind man and another one was a statue of a lame man blind and lame what's a blind and lame man doing in the middle of the pleasure so Rashi and the radak explain that the statue of the blind man and the blame man will ask the statue of two of the greatest people to ever live because if you recall jakov avinu got into a fight with the malach and because of it he was lame so the lame man is a statue of jakov avinu was blind we all know during during his eyes was blinded the project says he couldn't see so he was blind so therefore the statue of Yitzhak is a statue of a blind man and a statue of yaakov is a statue of a lame man let me ask you a question does everybody in this room were you aware before I told you this that Yakov avinu had got it had a limp were you aware that Israel gavina was blind the answer is yes and yes but let me ask you a question did you ever think of yaakovino as lame did you ever think of yes blind it never crossed your mind because you see their greatness and their greatness is how you visualize them this trivial negative is something that doesn't register in your head because all you see is their greatness what do you see when you see your neighbors what do you see when you see your community members what do you see when you see other people because I'm telling you if you see negative you're right and if you see positive you're also right it's up to you and a person speaks Russian holiday well I have to tell you something you know this person has an ego wow we didn't know it before everyone has an ego wow this person you know you heard what I found out and we love to tell the story as if we're telling you some that the world never heard before that so and so has a weakness let's set the record straight everyone has weaknesses the people you work with have weaknesses were abundant about weaknesses people's eyes weaknesses everyone has a weakness you saw that person and could only see the negative let me give you a bunch of examples so we could crystallize this idea thank you this is my first example when you think about America today what do you think I know we all think the places is a wreck this country is a mess I had a rebbe in Yeshiva I learned to stand on Yeshiva and one of them are obey him I'll never forget this he says you want to you want to look around the United States of America he says you realize that this country in any big building legally has to have parking spots that are closer to the building that are reserved for the handicapped he says do you realize that in this country almost every sidewalk has a lip at the end so that you could wheel your carriage or wheel a wheelchair a wheel anything that you need to wield he said do you realize the amount of kindness that's in this country we never ever ever ever never talk about it do you realize how many from Jews all the liberalism aside how many from Jews are being supported by the fact that we have a government that takes care of so many people's Health Care or housing or food now I'm not don't me I'm not saying I agree with everything the country does I don't walk out and say I I I'm not telling you where I stand and I stand like everyone else every other foot juice stands I'm just telling you that there's so much more positive to see than you could ever see I'll give you another example you now everyone talks about Europe how great it was in Europe how it wasn't the learning the yeshivas in Europe throughout Barnum and Europe the good I live in Europe all of it is true but what I don't know if they ever tell you is that there's probably 50 times the amount more color younger light today in America and in Israel than they were in Europe you could count the yeshivas in Europe on your hands there was balajin it was Nevada there was keln there was Mir there was tells you could count them and how big were they how big was how big were they yet here you have across the Jewish World there were tens of thousands we went to a stadium a month and a half ago of 27 000 people almost every single one of them younger light learning in cuddle do you realize the generation you're in do you realize the age and the time we're in I don't know if there's ever been in the history of the world this many people learning Tyra all day yet no one ever talks about it we just talk about the fact that the good Island in Europe were great or the people and it's true do you see this in Europe were probably greater per capita than they are now but the multitudes of people that are learning today that are knowledgeable today why don't we ever talk about our generation that way why don't we ever see the world in the incredible white teeth that surround us I'll give you another example the organization we're here on behalf of how incredible is this organization how many different pieces how many different parts how many different needs in the five towns communities are being addressed how many how special is that how incredible is that we have something in the world today to give you another example do you know how crazy hot Salah is let me tell you how crazy that's all it is okay I lived in Lakewood for 10 years as a younger man and then I moved to Brooklyn my wife was expecting and she kept her Lakewood doctor okay so now it's September we moved in September One Night in the middle of the night two o'clock in the morning my wife wakes me up and she says Joey we gotta go I said where are we going she says I'm about to have a baby I said okay I'll get the car ready and we'll drive you to New Jersey where your doctor is no problem I go out of the room come back in she says I don't think we're going to get to New Jersey I said okay we'll go somewhere here says I don't know I think you better call Hot Salah I said no bro alcohol so I call that Salah as I saw this coming she tells me Joey I don't think I'm leaving the house I said what do you mean you're having a baby where are you going where are you having the baby he says I I don't think what do you mean we're not leaving the house I'm not getting this hot seller comes into my house and delivers my son in my room right there the baby was born hat salad then took my wife and the baby and transferred them to the hospital the whole ordeal was like three or four hours from two o'clock in the morning until about 5 30 in the morning and I'm complaining the whole time you woke me up in the middle of the night and I got a kid out of it and hot salad is like four or five heartsella members no problem barely you have a chance to turn around and say thank you and they got nothing out of this they don't know my son they're never going to know my son I hope they're unbelievable and yet in every community all across the Jewish World we have our seller members people walking around with walkie-talkies that maybe love to to always there it's crazy listen to this Statistics I'll give you another example do you know there's an organization called renewal which helps people with transplants kidney transplants they have a waiting list waiting list of 1500 people waiting to donate a kidney not to receive one to give away their kidney 1500 people in our Jewish nation in this country are waiting to give away their kidney how many people in the entire United States of America in the secular 400 million people in the United States of America how many kidneys does the country have online 250. we have six times the amount of kidneys waiting I don't know how many religious Jews how many people that identify Jews are there in the Jewish world I don't know nowhere near 400 million for 400 million they have 250. for us maybe we're a million we have 1500 people waiting online do you realize the world are we open to seeing the world we're living in how do we view the world you ever hear people say kids today how many people say that kids today oh you're a kid talk back uh kids today you see a kid jumping out of their seat and you're like every kid today has ADD with the HD whatever kids today I want to tell you something about kids today you know about a lot of kids today they're unbelievable there's a lot of kids today that are being pulled by Temptations in their pocket or in a screen in a computer in their house and they overcome it you know how great kids are today you know how many boys and girls today are unbelievable I spend my whole drive from Jersey to here on the phone with different kids today that are figuring out how to grow and how to handle the challenge and how to overcome it you want to know what kids today are they're incredible they're dealing with from an emotional spiritual sense maybe some of the greatest challenges we've ever had from an emotional spiritual sense physically life has never been better but mentally and emotionally it's unbelievably challenging and so many of our girls and so many of our boys literally Rise Up from within it are in our unbelievable kids today yeah kids today are incredible in fact the gamaran humor rights there was a debate who's greater the generation before the based on when the base I make this was still around for the generation after and the first opinion thing where I said naturally the generation that had the Masonic does lucky says no the generation that's after the destruction is better because they have to deal with chipotleus they're in foreign countries and they're still ice cream by Tyron and they're still on a great path where in foreign countries we are we are literally embody that idea where foreign countries with so many different pools yet we're so incredible so let's look at I just gave you five examples the United States of America those people that are learning in Cairo all the crested organizations the people that are donating kidneys the children today they're all unbelievable if you're trained to see white teeth but if your brain is just conditioned to always see negativity you'll always see it you know what Haman was he was an expert in knowing how to see what he saw always the wrong way here you see a nation that's observing and keeping things in a beautiful way they marry within themselves they celebrate the young and famous they're beautiful people and humans somehow saw it as a reason to be destroyed if you're the type that sees negative you always will in fact I'll give you one more example this is not a holy example this is just a personal one so and if someone doesn't like it lump it okay here we go so I in the summer live in Deal New Jersey give you my background I went I was a hater kid liquid hater and a little boy then I went to stand on Yeshiva for seven years High school-based measures then leave it around he got married and went to brisk for a year then came back and went to BFG for 10 years and then moved to New York and my community I've been in Brooklyn for about 17 years yes because that son is 17 years old so it must be 17 years my wife by the way after she gave birth she's like why do we have to go anywhere can I just stay here and call it a day so every summer we used to rent in Lakewood and I would be a robin deal my father's not so well the last few years so now in the last few years I've been in deal in the summer reading actually now we bought a house and deal in the summer so the house that's in dio is right behind a golf course so from my backyard you could see the golf course I love it I like yeah you know Golf Course view someone on the Block once told me he says you know the top two views in the world in a hotel number one is Ocean View number two is a golf course View and the ocean view of course millions of dollars to have that view here you get this view for free I love it my master bedroom oh the window is overlooking the golf course I think it's magnificent I can't breathe from good I told you I'm Syrian which means by definition I have a housekeeper okay so last summer Labor Day is when we go back we went back to Brooklyn on the Sunday before Labor Day I go back to Brooklyn we leave our housekeeper in deal to help clean up without any of the kids in the house so she's bringing in the outdoor furniture and while she's in the middle of bringing it out of furniture the Gulf War comes over the fence and hits her flushed in the head her head literally cracked open my wife gets a phone call hysterical crying they have to go hot salad they call paramedics then they call my sister-in-laws that were still in deal everyone come she has to be taken to the hospital for a few days because it's gone for she's always out of it for a few weeks fine we did our best to take care of our good now in the middle of the year maybe it's February March time my wife says we have a problem I said what's the problem she doesn't want to come to deal this summer because I have no problem with that I'll save thousands of dollars she says but I have a problem with that I said so what do you want to do she says I want to put up a a big net to block the golf course I said no way not blocking my golf course she said but she's not going to come I said but I'm not blocking the golf course she says but what do we do I said I don't know buy her a helmet well I have a helmet in the house every time she walks outside she'll put on the helmet starting quarterback for the New York Giants Margarita what's the problem I think it's a great idea and we go back and forth and back and forth and I realized something in the end of the day by the way just for the record I won there's no net there's no nothing staying the way it is but then she asked for a raise and she won but it's funny because I wake up every morning and I think that I literally am living on the backyard of a luxurious Resort and our housekeeper thinks she's living in Afghanistan we're living in the same house I see the white teeth she sees the dead dog how do you see your world because I want to tell you something when you speak Russian horror you become that person and you become that negativity and it starts to be on your lip all the time and first you start to notice the negatives about the country or about the community and then about the neighbors and before you know it it's about your own family and all you're seeing is their weakness the classic story of lush and Horror in in the terror is the story of The Mirage says the Mirage he says go into the land of Israel and Hashem makes an Aries everything go right he makes the people of the country be distracted by funerals Hashem makes it that they look small people aren't noticing them Hashem makes it that their fruits are humongous and robust and great yet these Mirage come back and see everything that they saw the wrong way it kills its people it has Strange Fruit we look like ants or like grasshoppers everything they saw they saw wrong how do you see your world when you speak Russian however you're giving us a window into your view on the people around you you're telling us the fact that someone has a negative we know that we know people are weaknesses instead you're telling us that that's what you focus on and that's how you see what you see the clock what time am I supposed to end five more minutes good in fact I'll give you an example I don't know if this is appropriate to say but someone called me from a very firm neighborhood and he said and he says Rob I have a problem I said okay what's your name he says I'm not telling you my name I said oh he says no just listen I said what is he says I listen to Yeshua I feel like you might understand me which is not going to be good for me for me I said what is it you have a problem in your life he says everything's good your marriage is good kids good income good what's wrong he says I have one problem it drives me nuts I can't think straight my wife is 20 pounds heavier than I'd want her to be and I can't deal with it I walk in the streets I can't handle this it drives me batty I said are you for real he says yeah I'm for real I can't I don't know what to do and he says I feel like you might understand me you tell enough personal stories maybe you'll understand my story and I ended up talking to him for like 45 minutes and he somehow needed he needed me to explain to him how every big house and deal also has a problem inside of the house until he realized that house oh really that person is that problem oh wow so I also I promise it's okay which means his eyes are so trained to see negativity that there's one thing wrong in his life and I understand you get you on your why whatever it's not my business but one thing won't happen it's all he could see writes and we'll end with this little thought and then one little story and we'll conclude the Gamora rice Allah shinhara kills three people the person you're talking about the person you're talking to and you now I understand how it kills the person you're talking about that person just left the room you put a knife in his back I understand how it kills the person you're talking to because they just found out something negative that they didn't know before but how does it kill me I knew the negative story from a week ago so now what I'm saying it how does it kill me the answer is that by the fact that I talk about it shows what I obsess over because you see when you speak Russian horror you're not telling us anything about the other person you're telling us about you you're telling us about how you think you're telling us about how you view the world with you're telling us how you what you obsess over you're telling us what you're thinking about all the time that's what you're telling us more than anything else you're showing us what you obsess over which is why let me share with you this one thing we say in shamai every day don't follow don't follow your hearts and don't follow your eyes the problem is that that should be that sounds out of order first it's my eyes that see and then my heart desires so it's a first say eyes and then heart why is a heart first the answer is because of the kind of heart you have determines how you see it your life determines your anion if you have a heart that's wonderful and positive and sees the world in a wonderful way your and your eyes will always catch wonderful things but if you have a heart that always obsesses over negativity then you'll always find a dead dog to to witness so we're going to rebuild this base amid us the way we're going to do it is change not just change our words change our heart which will change our eyes which will therefore change our words La Sonora is not just something you say is the kind of person you are and we're going to find out when you open your mouth who you are are you a person that always sees negative or you're a person that sees so many beautiful and incredible things in our generation in 2023 let me give you my last little anecdote so in the Summers I told you we're a deal which is a half hour away from Lakewood and my heart is always on Lakewood I went to theater in Lakewood for elementary school I went to BMG for 10 years I rented there in the summer for 13 years I love Lakewood so I liked whenever I can to go to BMG to learn in the back so a few years ago when I was able didn't have to be in my own school during chakras I said I'm going to go to BMG I'm going to dive in San Francisco and then I'm gonna eat breakfast and learn fantastic so I go to BMG I go sit down in a seat somewhere towards the front maybe 10 rows in the front I sit down on a seat and I'm diving and as I'm in the middle of governing looks like comes over to me and emotions me like get out of the seat I need most of me to sit over there sound like who does he think he is does he know who he's talking to like come on I'm older than him I I think I'm a good man I came here to Darvin you're kicking me out of my seat and there's plenty of empty seats in the basement so like there's plenty of seats for people to sit in I keep I leave the seat I listen to him I leave the Sea and the seat just stays empty for about 10 minutes and then I saw a young boy walk in who has Down syndrome and he sat in that seat which is right next to his father the bucker wasn't kicking me out of the seat because if someone he thought is more higher or more important than me he was kicking me out of the seat because he knows that this boy is used to his routine and it comes when he comes and he sits where he sits and he sits next to his father and he's used to it and he knows how much the boy needs that seat and if the chakras is over I went over to him I said for those first 10 minutes I judge you so the wrong way was like and then I realized the kindness that you had do you realize this is true about almost everyone around you you want to see your wife as having everything wrong you might find a way to see it you want to see your wife as being incredible you could see it you want to find your husband as being this wrong and not wrong you're probably right but you want to see him as a superstar if you just know how to see it you could see it when you see your friends when you see your children are they kids today or are they unbelievable kids today and even though they have so much going on in their world they work so hard do you look around and say wow we have incredible organizations we have incredible schools we have incredible yeshivas we live in a dark yes that has challenges but has so much Beauty the shame about all of us speaking Lush and horror is it we're chipping ourselves and we're making us not be able to have the opportunity that's all in the world you live in a beautiful world if you change how your heart feels you could change what your eyes see and if you change that then you can change what your words what your mouth says and once that happens we might get that hundred thousand dollar check back and build the base amitesh finally in this in our days amen [Applause] just wanted to mention that we should have in mind that tonight's Shear was a services and we should be rejoicing a new Slimer or kodesh marriage for the men in the back left corner immediately have a good night