Maamar Purim 5715 #5: Why Does Kabbalah and Chassidus “Dichotomize” G-d Into So Many "Parts"?

Good morning everybody. I want to wish a heartfelt maze who became a za for the first time. Sunil had a baby boy yesterday, right? Shabas with good health, happiness, good spirits, serenity. Where do they live? Nice. Okay. A lot of point all of us have to grow up. Whether we like it or not, maybe not, maybe not. The inner child wants to remain an inner child. You could be a zeta and a child. Those are the best zedas. Okay. Today's class is dedicated by a dear friend Ezra David Phillip. With gratitude to the holy and courageous soldiers of the IDF. May Hashem protect them and all of the Jewish people in Israel and around the world. Thank you very much Ezra David. Okay. In honor of the new Z, I'll begin with a story about Alterba. It's a very powerful story. The alterb raised his grandson the because the mother the alterb had a daughter her name was Rabbita and she passed away very young she was a young mother and she had a son the who was before his upsher still there was a she gave away she gave up her life for her father for the balatana she gave up her life his life was in danger And she called in three. She made a by the she gave up her life and a few days later she passed away. She made a condition that her father raise her orphan. So from that day the slept by the alterb and he he literally raised him. So once the was sitting on the on the on the lap of the alterba and he was caressing his beard you know's picture you could see the beard he was caressing alterba's beard and he was saying za za za affectionately you know grandpa grandpa grandpa said th is the za th is the from the za this is the zeta this is the beard of the zed. Who is the zeda? So he puts his hand on his cheeks. He says, "Za, zeta." He says, "Thus is the beal. These are the cheeks of the zeta. Where's the zeta?" So he puts his hand on the nose. He says, "This is the nose of the zed. This is the eyes of the zeta, the mouth of the zeta. This is the head of the zeta. Who is the zeda? Who is the zed?" This is what he asked. So the so to speak, didn't answer. It was like he got stuck, you know, mission accomplished. He got him stuck. Okay. Okay. And then he got off and he played. He went to play on the on the floor. A few minutes later was sitting doing whatever he was doing and suddenly he has a scream. Ah. So had his finger between where the door closes. He had his finger stuck over there. So he's screaming. Ah. So ran over. This was a trick. Ah, you understand? So So actually it's going to connect to what we're going to learn soon also. [Music] Okay, we're up to page 292. Uh the lines the paragraph starts vis. the middle of the of what's the summation 292 the third paragraph. So the main point that was discussed was there's both in the divine soul and in the animal soul and he went through what is what ru is what nephesh is both in the divine soul and in the animal soul and the point was that the me marriage between the two souls is not a random mutation like two souls that's two cells slash souls just came in that you know randomly uh uh coexist and make each other crazy and create a new product molecule called an but rather this is an intention it's deliberate because the point was that the nephis should be in constant communication with the nepha bahamas the divine soul should be in constant communication with the animal soul and constant means every single day and every single night. Constant doesn't just mean once in a while. It means it's an ongoing journey of the animal soul talking and the animal soul talking really means the body talking. It's the voice of the body because the animal soul is the vivifying force of the body, the electrical currents generating the circulation and generating the animation of the body. That is the neph as it says insh and it's wabi the soul of the flesh lives in the blood meaning it's expressed and it's manifested through the circulation of the blood that brings oxygen and nutrients to all of the cells of the body allowing them to live and of course with the center in the brain the may and the heart going to all the parts of the body. So this nephaser this the soul of the flesh is the blood and that's is that is the nephah the biological soul. It's called the natural soul. It's called the animal soul and it has within it a full spectrum of faculties. In other words it's a consciousness. It's not just a electrical blind force. It's a consciousness. It's a consciousness that has seel. It has awareness and it has cognition and it has midas. It has emotions and of course it has the ability to produce thoughts and words and actions and the entire spectrum of the soul of the nephah is called the animal consciousness and because it vivifies the body. So it's called nephaser. The definition of distant soul is the soul that gives life to the flesh. The nephis is not called nephaser. It's not the soul that gives that vivifies the flesh. It's also it's all part of it because the nephew kiss is tucked into the nephas. They're working together. In other words, every experience of the neph is felt by the nephas. And conversely, because the two completely are merged to the point that it's very hard even for us to make that distinctions what comes from what it takes a lot of avoided to know okay this is my animal soul talking. This is my divine soul talking. But that relationship is intentional in order for the animal soul to be touched and dealt with and spoken to and educated and enlightened and sublimated and ultimately transformed by the divine soul and that is so many different stages but there's always a conversation going on and because they each have therefore there's a conversation that goes on between them and as a result of that the kiss could influence the nephas how first it has to understand its language and that's why he says you have to speak to the nephiklas of the nephah in other words the nephiklas which is the rational soul of the nephah is open to a conversation from the nephalikis and in order for this to happen the nephalikis has to be able to find the method of talking to nephamas in the body in a way that it should listen all this we discussed and explained last year at length we spoke talk about it all. So shab is the idea that you know the the the today in science they describe the nervous system as the bridge between the mind and the body right sometimes you talk about in he brings from the brain rules over the heart. So people think shalot means like a dictator, like a tyrant, like a shalot. You know, you tell the heart what to feel and the heart feels that way. Really what it means is the demo is capable of mentoring the heart of of of being there for the heart of of of nurturing the heart like literally parents with children. Parents are not supposed to judge children and denigrate them when say cry baby, cry baby. You're such a crybaby. You know, that's what we do with ourselves. But the heart is like a child. Don't don't scream at me, cry baby. You also don't have to take the child right away to the hospital because he's crying, right? It's a concept of understanding the child, appreciating the limitations of a child, understanding that the key is not to break the child, but to nurture them and help the child feel safe and secure and seen and soothed in order to the four famous S's in order to be able to become an adult. If all you heard as a child is crybaby, crybaby, crybaby the ma crank, right? What type of adult do you have? You have a 2-year-old adult who's still waiting for somebody to give him a little caress. So by telling him to be an adult at two years old, you made sure that he will never ever be able to be an adult. It's it's why I told him to be an adult. In order to be an adult, you have to be a child, right, Zeta? You have to be able to feel za za. It's not the nose and it's not the forehead. It's throughida. It's my presence. It's my presence. Not the nose. It's not the for. It's everything. It's me. It's the eye. Where does the eye come out? The eye comes out in connection, in connectivity, in presence. Z. Ah, this is it. No. Very deep story. Parents and grandparents, they want to give their children their nose, their eyes, their hands, their bit. All good besides besides themselves. I'll give you my my I'll give you my credit card. I'll give you my wallet. I'll give you toys. I'll give you computers. I'll give you tablets besides myself. And the reason is because presence is the hardest thing. It's nephesh. It's if I'm not present for me, how can I be present for somebody else? So the idea huh? So talk to first means that the neph has to be able to listen with it. The nervous system is the bridge between the mind and the body. You can't talk to the body without the nervous system. So if the nervous system is disregulated, yeah, in in psychology and neuroscience they call it when you're in a uh sympathetic state or parasympathetic state. Sympathetic state means I'm not regulated. I'm overwhelmed. I'm stressed and I'm anxious. I could give a 100,000 speeches and I could read a 100,000. It's not going to have an impact because the body and the animal soul are completely in a heightened state of danger. Like I spoke there in alert. That's what we spoke in the previous class. Parasympathetic state means it's regulated in in neuroscientific terms is you're operating with your preffrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex that's neflas that's where the neflas is can can be like a very mature parent and it could see the the parts that are very anxious but it sees all the parts and there's a process of of dealing with it of embracing it and then there could be a conversation between and if not the nef says I'm busy protecting this whole system do me a favor doesn't use those words those are sophicic isticated words. Those words come from the prefrontal. All it's saying is there's a tiger in the room. Get out of here fast. Get out of here fast. You want me to be present? There's no such thing as being present. If I'm present, I get eaten up. When the nephahamus is in this parasympathetic state, then you could communicate. Then it could start experiencing listening to the Nephilus. It's not a conversation in terms of words. It's a conversation in terms of energy. The neph is really very innocent. It's very pure. It's just there to make sure the person is alive. It's not an evil soul. It's not a a bad soul at all. It's not on the contrary, it's very sensitive to self-preservation to make sure the person is around. So when you say what does shalot mean? It's like parents. Parents, you say the job of parents is to control children. Sometimes you need a control, but the main thing is the job is to be able to be present, to show up as a mature adult, not to destroy their personality growing up, not to delegitimize their emotions, but also to be able to relax. Like you don't want, we don't have to call the ambulance right now. You hurt your finger. I'm going to give you a hug. I'm going to give you a band-aid. I'm going to give you some ice cream. Right? We don't have to run to the hospital. Sometimes we do have to. The LA is screaming. The body is very very intense. You don't judge it. You don't scream on it. You mug in the body. You little baby. You're anxious again. How much do you think people get rid of anxiety when they get upset? When they get anxious about their anxiety. You don't heal anxiety through anxiety. It's a simple truth. You don't heal it. You intensify anxiety through anxiety. Why anxious? Oh, now. Oh, you look very calm now. You intensify anxiety through anxiety, right? The anxiety needs an adult, so to speak that is calmer and could look at it and embrace it and give it some oxygen and give it some love and feel it and give it some compassion and know that it's not the absolute reality. The anxiety is screaming very loud, right? The anxiety fine. You're a child and I'm here for you. I'm not afraid of you. The worst is to be afraid of your child. When parents are afraid of their children, they can't parent them because they're their children. We don't have to be afraid of our anxiety. We don't have to be afraid of our emotions. We don't have to be afraid of what's happening in the body. It's all there for tickon. It's all there for for for an embrace. So that's the whole process of the communication between the two souls clar. So now he goes vining mashu. This is the deeper meaning of the whole series of we say this every morning. Okay, just here is a little tutorial on Davening. We should have been taught this at 8, but fine. 50 is also good. 60b you could take it in deeper. The structure of davening is very interesting and it's very intricate. So there's a whole section of davening people don't realize it's a series of sukim from when the Jewish people came back from bil to build a second basikdesh. It was a very complicated era. Most Jews stayed in in Babylonia in Iraq because it was nice over there. You know, it was a stickle America so to speak. Only 42,000 Jews from the whole class decided to go back there to rebuild the second B mikdash. Many of them said not there was even a famous letter that Jews in Germany wrote. Uh whatever not not everybody was interested. So uh Ezra and they were they were they were the ones in charge of the aliyah the second aliyah so to speak from uh from rebuilt the second bdash the mats of in was very very dire both in terms of poverty and in terms of spirituality and they had to revive the entire nation. So the safer and tanak speaks a lot about that. So in peress he speaks there about the celebration of tish that Ezra reinstituted in the in the in when they came back Ezra and the rishana and the days of tish and the celebration of sukus then he speaks I think it was on the 24th day of that month of tish after sukus that the levim spoke to the Jewish people and that's when they go through saying that whole series from invar Right. All the way down all the way till that's all one series of that were saying to the Jewish people when they gathered together in the beginning of the second Bikush. So that's one series of a conversation that's happening all the way from the middle of all the way till then we shift and we go to the text of the from through that's already from the story of and the when you look at there's a very interesting line says Hashem found he chose right he found his heart loyal made What was the Briskani had? Seven big tribes or empires. He's going to give him that land. So he says to give to his descendants and you fulfilled your words. Why? you're that's and then you saw the pain of the my fathers in Egypt and you heard their cry. You have to be atic to fulfill your promise. Really, you shouldn't have fulfilled your promise, but you're at borrow from somebody $50,000. Yeah. and you give it back. So you the you became the so you're not a crook. You're not a crook. You made a promise with a you made a promise with you promise with Yakov and you did it. Yeah, I would expect that. I mean even with people you make a promise. You make a commitment and it wasn't a commitment in thought or just verbal. Even then there's a to be your words. But this was a commitment. It was a serious commitment with acquisitions everything. You did it because you're at to put it differently. Not doing it is immoral. It's abortant. Right? You made a deal. You made a promise. There was a lot of sacrifice of for this. Yeah. You did it. Thank you. Okay. What's the It's a big So we say it every day. I wouldn't expect that. I expect that something unique. This is the basic humanness and basic decency that you don't deceive somebody. Yeah. Yakov who came into love and said, "Lummer, why did you deceive me?" Love should have said a simple answer because I'm not a sadic. Sorry, I'm not a I'm just a regular guy. I'm a regular citizen. Well, that's why I deceived you. I'm not a sadic. Go to sadikim. It's not an answer. Why'd you deceive me? You made a promise. You're giving me Why'd you give me layer? Right. It's a good love and had his excuses. We don't marry the younger sister before the older sister. But he does it because I'm not a Here we say which means you established you fulfilled your words. So the Reb is going to explain the whole on a much deeper level. The word is he doesn't say you fulfilled your words literally means from the words you you you raised your words. You lifted up your words. The word and literally is but is you you say you established it. Huh? But from the word come standing up. Yeah. When you stand up, when you raise up, when you wake up, it could have said literally means right you fulfilled it. So he says there's different words. The explanation all of this is the is not in a vacuum. It's a continuation from before. What's before? He starts off. It's a whole series. We say it every day, right? From it's a whole It starts off. You are Hashem. You hashem literally it means you hem you're alone. Of course, in the everything makes sense even if it doesn't because he's saying it from two four years old. What you hash who? Hashem, you hem you made the heavens. Then you say the heavens of the heavens all their allegiance. Then you say the earth everything on the earth. Then you say the seas everything in the seas. Then you say you give life to all of them. What's right after then? to who? Say to me, you're the one who chose ex extricated him from a place called Urasdam. That's where he was born in Urasim. That's in in um in southern Turkey, northern Iraq, southern Turkey. Uras. It's still a place you can go. It's called Ur, right? You are they call it. And you extracted them from Urazda. You made his name. You found his heart loyal, trustworthy, dedicated and then you made with him all the way till the end is a new paragraph. So people don't realize that it's all it's one it's one continuation of so tomorrow when you're ding just remember that it's one continue it's one conversation or today when you not they threw out random things. They call it this these represent the whole the inner working of creation, the system of creation and the whole the order of which means the order of devolution evolution from the infinite to the finite from the spiritual to the physical from the abstract to the concrete from the transcendent to the imminent all the way down to the person's initiative and avoid He begins the first words is he could have said you're alone who actually I told you in English grammar they don't translate it that way because it wouldn't make sense but literally at means you. What does who mean? He so now you don't talk to somebody and you say you he I'm here I'm not a he. You talk if somebody's not here, right? He went it's called second person right who means he if you're here I say you you're right here I'm sorry who is third person second person you have his name who and then says not so who represents a holy captures the essence, the core, the essence of everything means the essence, the essence of everything. is explained in many places really on the only one you could say you here right here means you're present because it's present everywhere and in everything there's no space devoid of him is the expression of and like we learned in the so that's even when you're talking about here he's talking about ata which is you mish you so there's no space devoid of him so therefore wherever you are you could say right here at as uncle taught the Jewish world hashem is here hashem is there hashem is truly everywhere so wherever you are you could say in fact the only reality you can always say to ismos because there's no space there's no matz there's no situation that is devoid devoid we're not only talking about a physical space. But every conceivable space can't is not present is not devoid of the presence of you could say you right here who already is a state where you could speak about concealment and revelation. That's why you could say who he which means it's more concealed. So this is already relating to what's is always light. Light means the way things are expressed. The way things are manifested here they could be expressed or not expressed or expressed more or expressed less or expressed this way or expressed that way. So atmos is the essence and is always the radi the rad the the the revelation of that. That's what I is. What does do? What's represents? Like we always talk about what light is. Light is the transmitting any reality into the perception of another reality. That's what light does. What does light literally on a physical level? What does light achieve? It allows us to see. Light itself. I can't see. But light allows me to see everything else. If there was no concept of light, everything would just be what it is. Light allows there to be a relationship. I could perceive you. You could see me because light. I could see you or think see anything else and everything gives off light. Everything emits light. What they call electromagnetic uh fields where the energies of light spectrums of light travel and are perceived by the other the other based of course on their own caum. So that light can be concealed, it can be revealed, it can be present in a manifested way. It could be I can't I can't experience it etc. So that's all in itself there's the there's who there's who and there is and there is so he says who it's the the way it is still for himself the way you reveal but only to yourself and then there's the way the comes out but it's still all be preimp because it's preum. So it's all who and are all the oneness means one right it's still all revealed because it's all pre which means on a general level that explains there's a concept called symptoum which we learned about many times the idea of simpum is that ah look at like yeah but that but that was a big m by the but the idea of is that says that in the beginning of creation and when we say in the beginning he means precreation pre doesn't only mean pre five you know a certain amount of years ago pre means on the level of precation in other words even pre there was pre before before there was a before before there was time to talk about Four. That's the begins. It begins the light of the fills the entire the entire vacuum, the entire space where there would be a world and there would be identity which in simple English means in the pre-timum reality what is experienced is only infinite consciousness and then there was a tim. What does it mean? It was a symptoum. He says withdrew itself or constricted itself or condensed itself or concealed itself allowing there to be a an empty space and in that empty space that's where he brought in a ray of light called a and that's how the whole system of creation begins. Now there's the big question if says did he mean literally the actually withdrew itself and it's an empty space or it's just figuratively in other words the empty space perceives it was that was the whole is based a lot of is based on so when you're talking about preum everything is you alone there's nothing else everything is a and there's everything there but everything is in a state of a everything is infinity in that itself you have at you have who and you have is atmos atmos itself that's beyond revelation or concealment even revelation or concealment you can only say about not about itself is it has no beginning already has a beginning it has the source it doesn't have an But it has a beginning. So then you have an you have two you have and you have all symptoms. So it's called who is the way the is what he calls it. In other words the way the light is internal. It's not yet manifest to the other. And this is all even preum where the other just means the other inside yourself. To give an example in a person, it would be the difference between the way you experience yourself and the way you're ready to share yourself with another. In other words, the way the person experiences themsself is already light. It's already it's not the me, it's the way I communicate with me, but it's the way the eye is being perceived by me. So, it's the way I am processing my eye, but nobody else is processing that. And then there is if I'm getting ready for a conversation with you and I want to share. It's already putting it into words or thoughts or concepts that will be relatable to you. It's all still inside of me. It's still much much more intense than what anybody else experiences. So that's all with inside the person. You have your essence, who you are. And for that I have no description because any description I'm going to have is already the way I'm processing it through words and concepts which already contains it in a particular form. But then there is the way you experience yourself and the way you want to share that experience with another and you make it relatable to other to the other. So that's an it's just an example the the way it is the experience of within himself and then the way the is preparing for a so there's a y and there's a hey and there's a v and a he which and he and v already represents a system of communication this is but all preum in other words it's all the way it is within the it's like within a mush would be it's still with all within the person himself So that's all that's then you have you made the heaven and the heavens of heavens. Then you have a tim and here it's here you made you made heaven and you made the heavens of heavens. So inab calls it two names this what's called inab the higher light and the lower light means pure in Aramaic also means light is called it says in the middle of the day when the heaven is crystal blue and clear it's called the purity of is when it's open when it's exposed the essence of the msb so means the higher light and the lower light. He says this is already postsum. It's called that's why it's called shmayim. The difference of shmayim and erit is heaven is called mach just like we look at the heaven and all we can see is the dome of heaven. The mach of heaven the circle the ball of heaven that encompasses us. So it's called mach where eritz earth is already we're walking on and there's differentiation that's called. So the which means the the way and it is a place of state of mak but there is the higher light and then there's the lower light this is all beyond which are the in other words the way the comes out after the that's called then there's earth and seas this is already all on the planet We have the and we have the we already came down to the planet. This is already what's called in other words the system from where you have sea and you have dry land. You have eritz but init itself you have the part that's dry land and you have the yim it's also part of generally it's the concealed world and the revealed world sometimes it's called the says we say it inem is blessed from the world to the world what's the world with the world the divine Dind light is communicated in the concealed world and in the revealed world. This includes the whole from the highest to the lowest. This is all alisia till almisalia. Just to bring this down a little bit, at least a general nuda. It's all states of consciousness. how you relate to reality. He's starting here from the top. We of course start from the bottom. Yeah, we would start from the lowest place of algalia which means the way it's revealed. In other words, when you talk about reality, what is reality? So you have reality who it's all states of reality. There's there's who? There's over there it's all of then there's there's there's and then we say [Music] like we spoke in the earlier class about whatos is. What's sedulos? Sedalos. is what allows for the relationship to be real and to be authentic and to be all-encompassing. You know, in simple words, when you speak about Hashem's oneness, so Hashem is one. So, Hashem, you say anoid mulvad. What does anoid mulad mean? Means there's nothing outside of him. Yeah. What about when you What about when you trigger me? There still anoid mulvad. So somebody once said anoid mulvad sometimes it feels like anoid mulvad. So then it's also anoid mulvad. So you'll say yeah well took over. I understand why took over. So what happened with anoid mulvad? So get rid of yates. Sov is good for the books until you trigger me and once said he used to speak to Hashem. So he said you know if you would have if ganed and would have been in front of us and the ty of haz would be in the sacred no would sin but ganim you put into all the ty of you put in front of us what do you want from people put the nations will open is a mus from the old it's an intense so we'll open it up and we'll learn about all the all the all the triggers all the guilt all the shame all the anger all the addiction doesn't work that way no he was from the he lived in I think from the time of one of the fundamentals of mus of kabal muser Over there you put it in the tus. You put it. What do you want from people? What does mean? You could say anoid mulvad and what about me? And what about my experiences? So one of two things. either you relegate to the right or maybe or once in a while or for a few or the other way around in other words is is is it's but but now I'm dealing with me and if I take myself seriously I can't take anoid mulad seriously or the other way around I take anoid mulvad very seriously and I don't take myself seriously seriously at all. So what do I do with myself? So somehow I read about people who don't have a self and I try to join them maybe uh so how how how how honest am I with that? That can often lead to complete disassociation from self. So I live with anoid muada. Am I happy? I'm always happy because everything is always hashem it's perfect mada. I don't complain. I don't I don't even have pain. How can I have pain? Assumes exclusivity. I don't I don't exactly. So it's one of the two. You can't say there's nothing but you. So where do I like a person gets married right and tells his wife or husband in this marriage there's only me. So you have a choice. So either you get rid of me or you get rid of you. There's no I'm making it a little uh crash, but that's the I want you to understand the deal with the concept of that there has to be integration. There has to be a plan. Yeah. No, I was just using the word. I wasn't asking. So that's what we're going to say. Yeah. So that's where we're headed. Yeah. What you're saying? Yeah. Yeah. So, so one of the two has to go. Okay. So, either you don't take it seriously again, it's good for a few or it's good for the or even if I take it seriously, but I take it seriously until I don't take it seriously. That made sense. I take it seriously until I don't take it seriously. or I take it very seriously and what do I do with the me? If I can destroy it, I try to destroy it. I I disconnect and I would say so many struggles of people it's it seems abstract but it's not so abstract. This is struggles of people does mulvad is it authentic? Is it authentic? And I would say this is one of the main nudas in all the my Or to put it differently, somebody once asked me. I I mentioned this a few sh ago. He said, "Before I started to learn, I knew there was one God." That's what I was taught. There's one God. There's one God. So already I got stuck because already confusing. He's one. His name is one. What happened? He has a different name. Okay. Suddenly you learn here. What do we just learn now? There's who? There's Hashem. There's there's preimp. There's postsum there's there's just a few. We could do another another few million. What? What happened? Just let's keep it simple, right? We're wh why why go out of oneness? The answer to this is it's punct every level that we learn about level that we learn about is to make real this is this is a is that it's not okay another level so from one god weasp created you know 1.1 million pieces thank you you think you have a lot of cells you have 70 trillion cells wait to see what's happening in god in order to make anoid mulvad real on a visceral level in each one of your cells and there are 70 trillion cells. You need to understand how anoid mulvad permeates 70 trillion madres. It's very easy to say nothing to do with me until you trigger me and then I forgot everything or I could do I can I can disconnect from me. There's no and then yeah move out there both are not the both are not the real the whole of the whole we speak about what's means there's a system of how hashem allowed atmos to be manifested and trickle through every single different type of experience of consciousness but it's all ata And since it's all so therefore in every in every experience there could be a relationship with other words to destroy I have a better idea you should have told God not to create the world when people say I don't deal with myself in other words you're telling God get rid of sayas say that was the miracle of relationship you understand what I'm saying the first I don't mean if you understand it here for this I can give another marshall I'm talking uh logically it's very simple so it means you also not if in simple words excludes you you're saying it's not true. Unless you say you're not true. How can you believe you're not true? For that you have to be either very very abused or very very holy. And usually it's not the latter. And even when you're very very holy the moment you spoke about you being holy it's already it's I'm holy. So it's all a joke. That's the means that creation is Hashem wanted that infinite consciousness should be able to be lived and breathed in every finite experience of a person without delegitimizing that experience because if I delegitimize that experience I just said yes my trigger on this you don't say sorry so you'll say it's all very nice and talk but I'm triggered. This this is this is avoid avoid is it's easy to say I'm not triggered. It's not true. We know what happens tomorrow. You get triggered much more. What are you feeling? I'm feeling fine. Really? You look it. And then tomorrow when it explodes, we know what you're feeling. And then the anoid mad really goes to the garbage because it was all disassociate. I was disassociated. And it works when you disassociate it until spaghetti hits the fan. When spaghetti hits the fan, suddenly you see, oh, there's a lot of things. Mulvad and I'm a mess. I'm a complete mess. There's no shortcuts. If you wanted a shortcut, could create everything without we need all this. Hashem, do whatever you want. Create. Create. I don't know. He he can jump from right here to my it's not a problem. He doesn't have to go through people sometimes hear needs. He needs a he doesn't need anything but he wanted you. He doesn't need anything but he wanted you. And you means you. You means your heart and your soul and your nephahamus and your goof and your brains and your cells and for your emotions. So you also have to want you and say is not selfish is the path of selflessness. It's the path of fusion. It's the path of real oneness. In other words, the ways looks at is the way the core oneness is manifested through every experience of life. That's why every he's going to give a mush from the person when he speaks about this part of the soul this part of the soul. Why are we always giving mal from people? So people think because you want to bring it down. It's much deeper than that. The whole purpose of was to create this experience in a person. So when you show it and say, you're basically showing the path, the ladder to bring everything back into oneness. That's the that you speak about. Yeah, that's what's means you're going away from the source, but you're not going away from the source. Yeah. the whole is what's you're going away from the source but you're not on on the other hand if you're not going away from the source then I don't need a say is the biggest what's the biggest problem of you lose touch with where you come from in other words you get lost in the ambassadors let's say American the American ambassador to South Africa, right? Our great friends. Yeah. Ambassadors, what's the greatest problem with ambassadors? You get too comfortable in the country you're living. That's why ambassadors, their children, they have a flag of their country on their house. They give lessons to their children in the language of their country, their native country. Why? Because the children have to know we're ambassadors. We may be living in India. We may be living in Australia. We may be living but we're ambassadors of that country. I'm just giving a mushroom sedulus right if you could easily get lost in the experience itself because I'm not anchored in the soilus is the key for everything basically means how oneness permeates could permeate and penetrate and be manifested through every experience in life. So every level of is another form of condensing atmos on one level and really in the ultimate of revealing atmos that level and in order for it to be authentic there's you're you're not cutting corners there's a chain there's and you could trace each one back to its source in order to be able to work it through to fix it doesn't a lot of ble always ble is the key bit is the key because without ble I can't respect the journey it's a painful journey so without ble I get lost in it or frustrated and resentful bit is the ability to really respect the reality I'm in and the reality I can grow towards So the soul vibrates every level of sedash. The soul experiences every level of sedash. And because we experience every level of sedulus so is healed through us. What do I mean healed? Healed means it's re it's reunited with its source. It was never really separated but we work through that separateness to create oneness in in the perceived separateness. If I want to give back that mushel of marriage right if the husband tells the wife in this marriage anoid mulvad okay have a good day get married to the wall. So you say the opposite the opposite means you need space for the other. What what does space for the other mean? This is becomes very tricky. In the secular world, it's very big. Space for the other. Space space, respect, boundaries. There's you and there's me. But we forget that what there's a third step. Can they now become one from that space? You understand what I'm saying? It's beautiful. I'm not the boss. You're the boss. I'm the boss. Like some women don't even allow their last name to change. I'm going to retain my identity. This is the age of feminism. I'm not surrendering to you. Those days are over. It's fine. I got it. And it's a very important step. That's basically going out of undifferiated one is there's you and there's me. But now the question is, can you and I as separate people be really one or not? It's easy to say you don't exist and I wear the pants in this house and there's nobody besides me. That's not called a relationship. It's easy to say stop feeling and disassociate for shalom bias. But that's not shalom bias. That's the of this you have to go through the of working through your differences. And in that and through that you reach real oneness. To put it in very very simple English, very simple English, a couple till a couple does not have the courage. The marriage therapist will tell me if I'm right or wrong, but maybe it's a tall order. It's a tall order. And if you're not there at the moment, don't get frustrated with yourself. Awareness. Say awareness. Till a couple is not ready to confront and talk about the things that they don't trust about each other in the profoundest way. the things that drive them crazy about the other. the thing that wants to make each one run away and get divorced from the other till they're not ready to address that they can't really be one you say why you want me to address that you want me to go into the lion's den and come out unscathed okay I'm not telling you what to do at home in the life be eaten alive. Even worse, we we need the right support for this. We need the right support. But but why why is this? Because till that happens, we're really lonely. I'm lonely and you're lonely. In other words, we're connecting in the places that are fine. You know, we can eat kafila fish on Shabas, which is beautiful. And it's certainly better than a third world war. No question. But the part of me that thinks that has issues with you or the part of you that has issues with me, those parts remain completely lonely that I will never share with you. And that's why you'll sometimes have in schul or other places where men make jokes to each other about their wives. It's one of the more embarrassing things that happens because this is their outlet for their loneliness. They're very lonely at home. There was a joke you said about why someone wants to become a officer. Not not dissing. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Of course. I don't mean I'm not making generalizations and and denigrating a good sense of humor, but you know what I mean. Sometimes it's not it's not just a sense of humor. You're married to this person. Respect for yourself. For heaven's sake. Forget about respect for your wife. Respect for yourself. You're sitting at a kiddish with tipsy people making fun of their wives and his child is there too. But even if your child is not there, what does this demonstrate? There's a loneliness. There's a loneliness. That's why he's also coming home. Shab is drunk. The one day a week you could sit for a few hours with your spouse. So in it works because in you don't have to have real relationships. And surely you could sit at the table, make jokes, and you're good. You talk about Trump and Biden and a few other interesting people and you're good to go. It's a good escape. In a in a relationship, I have to confront these things. So as long as So you understand what I'm saying? Do we remain? How do we get out of our loneliness? There's only one way. I have to talk about the lonely place. If I could talk about that to my spouse, in other words, she can create trust and safety in that space and I can create trust and safety in that space. Now you have the strongest marriage. It's unreachable. But if you know that it's for sure not going to go this way. Okay. In there's also the of divorce because sometimes a marriage is not doesn't work. We know that. It's it's it's sad. I'm not saying this can always work and sometimes if there's crazy trauma that's not dealt with, if somebody has a personality disorder not dealt with, if there's a mental illness not dealt with, all these things, you could be on top behavior and there's no kay there's no there's nobody to talk to because a person may be in a prison. And we have to understand that too. If people don't take responsibility for their own illnesses and for their and and we are all ill, let me say that in different ways. If somebody doesn't take a responsibility for their demons, for their traumas, for their coping mechanisms, you the other person could do everything in the world, right? It says in right, the face we show to a mirror, it shows back to us. That's a cloud always. But if no, if the mirror is broken, it can't show back the face. So if the other person is completely broken, I could show and show and show. I won't get it back. But I have to not go there. Say, "Oh, I'm doing everything. You're just a broken mirror." Well, we you know, that's another another nice excuse. What's my point? And my point is you want oneness that's real. Oneness that's real means when I'm triggered, I can also be one with you. That's why in a relationship, one of the most powerful moments in a marriage is when a wife triggers her husband badly or a husband triggers a wife badly. And at that moment or a few minutes later, she could turn to him or he could turn to her and say, "Wow, you just triggered my trauma terribly." What I just felt was that I want to run away to the other side of the world. You know what just happened? This person took his wounds and he brought it into the marriage. There was safety that was created around that wound. In other words, in you just brought into the wound. That's where all healing happens. That's why is so relevant because every of is another expression of who we are who I am and understanding that tells me what I have what I want to work through how I have to work through it and that I could work it through and ultimately it could bring me back to that oneness to That was to that tus. Yeah. If it means comparison means that ultimately you can't connect the infinite oneness to the finite consciousness but I can't heal myself right you have to ultimately ascend and that's why there were views in Judaism that wanted aceticism aseticism was a very very serious view in Judaism so rolling in the snow is a way for me to rolling in the snow and all these types of manifestations. I'm not dissing rolling in the snow. No, we're not dissing anything. Generally, generally whenever we're sitting there, you don't roll in the snow. Let's hope Let's hope when you ski, you don't roll in the snow. Whenever we're dissing other people, is is that the word we use? Okay. I just like to use uh eloquent language. Okay. Whenever we find ourselves dissing other people, it's because we're dissing something in ourselves. You know, when I'm judging somebody else, it's really a form of self-judgment. In other way, when you say an opinion about somebody else, you're really not saying an opinion about anybody else but yourself. Let's remember that if I'm saying an opinion about you, I'm really just saying an opinion about me. I'm basically describing how much I understand of me of you. So, it's talking about me. That's why real confident people who know who they are, they're fine. Like you you could say what you want. You're basically telling me what you think. Fine. You know, you're telling me who you are more than you're telling me uh more than you're telling me who I am. In other words, I once asked Rabbi Adenstein was a very very wise man. So I was talking to him about different things in my life. So I I told them that sometimes people tell me very very crit they they they criticize me very heavily and it's sometimes how do I know when to take it seriously when not to take it seriously sometimes it really delegitimizes a lot of what I do and say so he says to me he says these people forget about you let's would if you have a serious dilemma in life would you consult with these So without thinking I said no. He said so why suddenly are you taking it so seriously? He said everyone is reflecting who they are. He says, "What you need is you need a few people who you would consult whose views you take very seriously because when they're talking to you, they're not projecting their own insecurities or anger, but they actually can create a place of safety and from them you get real feedback because everyone needs real feedback." It was a very very powerful piece of advice. So it means that social media is it's it's destructive by definition always because among the 20 people that come. Exactly. Exactly. Who means good, right? It could be a spouse. It could be someone else. So in the ideal relationship with the spouse, it says when Hashem introduces, right, he says it's not good for the to be. So what am I going to do? I'm going to create a help against him. So we have all these in the but now you understand really what it means is the only antidote to lader it should have been aertoy should say I'll make the chant I do the laundry I do the cleaning you just show up and pay the credit card bills which shouldn't be taken for granted What's so means literally it's the it's the opposition that takes you out of lad. What's going to take me out of my loneliness is not the part of my wife that agrees with me. It's not the part of my wife that's one with me. What takes you out of your loneliness is the part of your spouse that that is opposed to you that drifts away that says this guy is crazy. Not you. I'm talking about me. You're not crazy. How do you embrace only if there's safety and goodwill? If there's safety and goodwill, if we realize that the oneness is deeper, that's why always needs and that says in when it says it also means the so he says Hashem was alone and everything was perfect. Everything was but Hashem said it's for me to be everything was so what do I do to really reach that place of say I'm going to make for for Hashem a help what's going to be the help the connect the opposition the opposition the what does it mean opposition opposition doesn't mean opposition you hate me opposition means otherness otherness is opposition It's opposition and from there you have the real if you're refined then as then your wife could just be a help if you're not refined so she has to help you work on yourself. So then it's connect you everyone tes if the man merits his wife helps him he gets a punishment. Oh, if you're this isim listen when you're refined then her truth comes out. She's just here to help and you're there to help her. when we're not worked out then connect then the connecti allows the refinement when you're experiencing a struggle in your marriage generally and I'm I'm not saying now always and you have to know these are serious stuff and the same is true with your children this is usually my path for healing our spouses bring out in us the parts that we have repressed for many many many many years and have not healed and now it's our opport opportunity for our nama to confront it and heal it. And that's why you'll see sometimes the same pain you went through childhood, you're going through again in your marriage. It's the second chance. It says in that marriage is like a second. It's like the nama coming down a second time. What's so it looks like a nice v. Okay, we're getting I'm reborn. It's very deep. My nishama came down for a tick. If I didn't do that tikun and my marriage is the second birth and everything is going to rehap. It's going to happen again in a different way but this time you'll be able to deal with it. And usually we don't. So then our children is the third chance. The children especially when they're growing up not when they're little when they're growing up put their parents through the ringer. The parents say why was I punished? You weren't punished. You're allowed to now heal. You're going to heal. Now you're going to go to every stuff with our spouses. We say, "Oh, I'm getting divorced. I hate you." What do you do with your child? I hate you. You're getting divor. I'm getting divorced. So some parents do that. They get divorced from their children, too. But sometimes children, it's so now the children say, "Oh, wow. Maybe I could look in the mirror now." And it's painful stuff. I'm saying this is painful stuff. What does all this do? This all does it creates real oneness. Real healing, not fake oneness, not fake healing. That's that's real. So ismos wanted the relationship. That's what means means I want to live in the basement in the basement of 184. He wants to live there too. It's a mikvah means that dwells and lives with in meaning every part of me even even the lowest parts of me can become a mikdant how is this a game it's a joke is it worshiping the ego the exact opposite it's allowing the self and every aspect of the self to become a channel and a conduit for the infinite light. But the I can only do it if I'm ready to work it through. If I amputate and I don't take it seriously and I just say I'm not in pain. Everything is perfect. That's not that's disassociated from maybe if you're lucky because usually when you disassociate from your you disassociate from your also but maybe maybe huh get You're smiling the whole time. Why? It's incredible. Oh, my wife is going to really She's going to love it. She'll let you go skiing for the next 20 years for for a month. For a month each time. It's also true. It's not only profound, it's also true. So you're saying when a child goes through certain things and then he goes through the same things later on in marriage. Yeah. What if the child had a good upbringing? He was seeing that's terrible and then comes back to the regardation of the marriage and it goes everything opposite direction. What's going on? Too much Susan, too much seeing, too much secure, too much. Listen to make blanket statements about how marriages work. Every pain I went through, I'm not Well, he had no trauma. I mean, he grew up a perfect child. Fantastic. Loved the world. Where's this child living? Tell me you from all places in Moscow, right? The country of trauma. The country that produced the most trauma on this planet is Russia. [Music] actually interesting because it's not necessarily no there's in Germany in Germany Hitler said I kill everybody I murder everybody in Russia Stalin was your best friend Hitler never tried to be your best friend Stalin was your best friend the Jews were crying at his funeral no they had to cry they had to cry I hear you very good if you thought you went Siberia, but the professors here were tak crying cuz the American intelligencia explains how socialism and communism is mashiach. It's messianic. So, the man killed 50 million people. But by his funeral, they were crying. They played with people's minds. I don't mean Russia is the only source of trauma. I come from Russia, so I know about Russia, but uh there's some other countries that also Hungary also has a little trauma. Galitzia also a little bit. epigenetic as the expression goes. Epigenetics, too. You can have all the best and still that's true. There are children that have amazing homes, but they carry in their genes a lot of stuff. That's probably the truth. And the truth is that our D was once said our D was destined to be Msak and all the that means we're carrying everything from all the and that explains a lot of things. It says invis right that there were 10 generations from Adam tillyak right to tell you that hashem had patience until and then he brought the marble but it took 10 generations of corruption that's almost a thousand years and then there were 10 generations from no to a to teach you that there was a lot of patience until came and got the of everybody so he says by no it says till the mob came by it says he got thear from everybody but if they were unworthy what's the isyak escaped and healed himself. Healed all the generations. It was different. He didn't just run into the heavens. He fixed all the generations. So he got this. In other words, he healed everybody. So the said our before the ga. So we need to heal all the das. That's why you're seeing things that no one understands with in youth and teenagers like many of them grew up in homes that our parents could only dream of such homes and yet they're experiencing so much struggle. It's not necessarily their own. It's usually not their own. It could be from generations and generations that our generation is destined to heal. And in order to heal it, you have to bring it out to the four because if you don't have have the aerkoi, you can't you can't have real lavad. It's not anoid muv it's fake anoid muv. So but it all it all comes to the four and it's very hard. So now let's come back to our here. So now we understand just the general picture of what is. You see who it's not each word is another manifestation of how reality can be experienced after is at now when you have who it's still you have hem is still but it's already a source for the other because means light and is already the way the light has some identity But it's all of then you have already postsum but you have in other words there's still a sense of infinite transcendence experienced but it's already in a postsum reality then you have and you have what's the watercalia is is dry land what's the uniqueness of the seas and the oceans the fish are submerged in the water you don't see them you don't see anything when you come to an ocean all you see is water in dry land you see differentiation so what does it mean to be an alasia it means you're alive you're a fish but you're a fish in water you feel submerged in the source in other words everyone consciously is aware that there are manifestations of divine energy that's alismedal means your ego is revealed means your identity is revealed as something separate and that's what dry land is. So you just went through from that's the whole in one line. Everything you're dealing with. Everything you're dealing with, every emotion, every instinct, every experience, every pattern, every thought, every word, every energy vibrating inside of us. It's a it's resonating another element of sometimes all the way down to clipper that's part of aladgi mean the world of separateness on dry land you are you I am I we're not one really we are one really we are one but here we have to work through the oneness in separateness say oh we're really one it's like a couple getting married say oh you know like you know when they get engaged and the says and the says he finishes all my sentences You know that one. I say, "Okay, in a few years hopefully you'll understand each other's sentences. Now you finish each other's sentences." It's very nice to say there's no difference between us. We're one. We like the same food. We have the same appetite. We like the same wallpaper. We like the same vacation. We like the same moatza balls. Are there any differences between you? Heaven knows that there are a few differences between a man and a woman. Just a few. When those come out, make sure you don't run away from each other because they're going to come out. But how does that square with the concept of two halves of the same soul? That's the vert. Two halves of the same soul. And how are those two halves becoming one? Each half has to work through its own stuff. Integration. Yeah. Integration. What do we say? Right before there are two that contradict each other. The third person makes peace. I I have a question. Why make two that contradict each other and then bring a third one to make peace? Maybe they shouldn't contradict each other. Why? Let's get into a war and then we'll bring a third guy. Don't get into a war and don't bring a third guy. Don't bring an arbitrator. They say a rabbi called up another rabbi and he said let's make unity. He said against whom we're not going to fight with anybody. You know somebody told me the other day they have a lot of pain in their life. And this person said to me he said to me he says I was thinking the other day somebody asked this person a question and it touched him to the core. Person said to this man, what would you look like without all this pain? He said, "I wouldn't exist." So he says, "When you ask God for Mashiach, do you actually mean what you say? Are you going to be able to exist without this pain? Are you going to be able to exist without this?" Sometimes the pain is what keep gives me purpose. I'm I'm miserable. I'm miserable. I'm miserable. Sometimes the fighting gives us purpose. Sometimes you feel like in in our world like if there's no what's going to be left everybody's going to get along. So what in each says the answer is if you don't have two that contradict each other you never made peace you understand you never made peace you only made peace between those that don't need peace means there could be real peace in other words peace that connects to the parts that contradict each other not the part that doesn't contradict each other that's what oneness means So just to say Hashem is one. It's true. Hashem is one. But is he one in me? Oh, I got 70 trillion parts. How could he be one in 70 trillion parts? That said, one in the spouse. Exactly. Okay, we'll take a break here. and Basham tomorrow there's a women's class 9:30 a.m. and Thursday will resume. Just want to announce you could tell your wives and daughters. My wife is starting today this morning a Tanya class 9:45 at 49 Linkrest Monday morning. You could share it with your wives. Is it on YouTube? It's not on YouTube. Everybody have a beautiful day. Yeah. Yeah.