A Vision for a Passionate Jewish Life - Rabbi Efrem Goldberg

thank you much for that warm introduction and I certainly reciprocate that feeling of closeness of friendship I thank you for always challenging us me and my colleagues and your friends to think better to do better to do bigger and to do more or deeply appreciate if your leadership in the owe you and beyond the Shuster Bhairava and this beautiful shoe la doctora it's a magnificent building it's magnificent edifice but what happens inside this building is the most magnificent the passionate total learning the diving in the house that I'm so excited to spend Shabbos here and to be able to learn more I want to express my gratitude to our by kolinsky this has been several years in many conversations in the making but affording me the opportunity to be here with my family for the weekend thank you for all you've done not only here on the west coast for the O you but nationally and Beyond and vota thank you for all the arrangements and details that have been taken care of I feel very deeply appreciative to the O you connected with the O you and to be able to be part of this weekend together is very very special the surest Meriva rabbir of schechter shelita so is this close and somewhat intimidating to speak in front of revi by Weinreb and all of the other Robottom who are here the doubler market tells the following story was once a jew came to the home of a very wealthy man and he came into the home and he found the lobby the entranceway itself was opulent was decorated was magnificent took a tour of the estate and saw the decor in the chandeliers and was overwhelmed by the wealth overwhelmed by the beauty the majesty sat down and what was a dining room but really a big banquet hall and it was time for the first course and so the Bala bust the owner of the home the wealthy man who sat at the head of the table took out his little bell and he rang his Bell and all of a sudden the servants the stewards came from everywhere and they plated that first magnificent course the appetizer people talked and they drank and they aid when it was time for the next course he simply lifted his Bell and he rang the bell and all of a sudden again an enormous staff came out and replaced the appetizer now with the next course in the next course and the evening went on each time it was time for a new course he simply would ring the bell an entire a group of people would come out to serve and this poor indigent individual went home and he had this amazing idea he had seen the bell he looked closely it was a little wooden handle a very simple bell and yet when he shook the bell when he rang it this incredible outcome happened so he thought to himself you know I don't have a home I don't have an estate unless chandeliers I don't have the core I don't have servants I don't have food I don't have china crystal or silver like this but I could have the Bell so he went and he purchased a bell but he thought to himself of a little bell with a wooden handle produces such results imagine what would come if I buy a bell with a silver plated handle so he takes all of his money whatever he has his savings to buy the special Bell and he's so excited for the first time his family will gather around the table and they come and he says to his wife into his children who are used to existing on meager means whatever they can and he says you're not going to believe watch what happens watch this and he lifts the Bell and he rings the bell and he looks and he waits and nobody comes and his wife tells him you fool The Diplomat tells us this Marshall the name shall we ring the bell in our life but if we haven't put in the work if we don't have the background if the situation is not created that nothing is going to happen what I want to share with you tonight is very personal to me because it's very much on my mind it's resonating very deeply for me it is a reflection of my experience with our community but beyond my community and conversation with my colleagues where I am concerned is happening across the country and beyond of Jews who are waking up in life and they're ringing a bell and waiting for the result in consequence of the ringing of the bell children and grandchildren will give them extraordinary nacos who will embrace their lifestyle their massara walk in their way and they're ringing the bell and nobody's coming they're ringing the bell and they're visiting children or grandchildren seeing with neighbors of the next generation and they're seeing Shabbos that are not animated inspired with passion or dynamism they're not seeing that level of excitement or enthusiasm or energy ringing the bell but not getting the results and I want to share with you this evening a vision a dream perhaps an aspiration for what we can do what we can do more or what we can do differently to put in all the work behind the bell so when we enter a stage of life that we deserve maybe not entitled but a hope to ring the bell and have that knock us flow that perhaps we can see and experience more of it it's past summer I read a book it was an amazing amazing book maybe one of the greatest most other books I ever read and it's written by a non Jew named Steven Pressfield there are some source books they are my crutch I can't live without them don't feel obligated to follow inside them I produced them so that you can see I'm not making up these sources and the articles will reference you can read or review on your own time if you like Steven Pressfield wrote a book called the war of art break through the blocks and win your inner creative battles it is the most compelling it is the most accurate it is the most articulate expression of what the Yeats are Hara is that pernicious resistance that blocks us and stands in our way and the first half of the book he describes it and we don't have time tonight but it's worth reading because and I've shared in a parallel Shir all the Torah sources that very much support the assertions of how resistance works how that Yeats ihara works in trying to block us but he writes here in the introduction to the book and those who have the source sheets can see it inside he writes most of us have two lives the life we live and the unlived life within us and between the two stands resistance we have dreams and aspirations we have hopes we have an unlived life and in our on live life in the life that represents our best self we're eating differently maybe exercising more maybe a little bit more patient than humble maybe we are achieving more in our relationships at work and in life certainly we're learning tour and we too we're learning more had better meadows and our diving moves us more there are the two lives the unlived life and the lived one in between the two is resistance late at night have you experienced the vision of the person you might become the work you could accomplish the realize being you were meant to be resistance II rights is the most toxic force on the planet if you look everywhere for the enemy and fail to see it it's right in front of my face he talks about his own biography in order biography his story of how long he waited to have a breakthrough how many books he wrote but weren't published and it wasn't until later in life literally he was in his late 40s I think when he was living homeless Lee in his car before he had a breakthrough to write books that were later turned into enormous producing movie as many of which you have heard and he describes what blocked him all those years in those decades was this force called resistance what we call the eighth Sahara but that's not what I want to focus on tonight he writes look into your own heart unless I'm crazy right now a still small voice is piping up telling you as it has 10,000 times the calling that is yours and yours alone a still small voice that is piping up our never uses the same words that still small voice it struck me when I saw that expression the still small voice the cold dim Ahmad daca that we find only in our silence and we'll talk more about that over Shabbos here in the shul le vas a Yaakov Lovato the voices that we only hear when we are truly alone comfortable in our own skin capable of spending time by ourselves making room for breakthrough we'll talk more about the cold de mama daca that ability to be alone that's small still voice that's piping up its told us 10,000 times if not more it's painted that picture of who we can yet become of the difference we could make of the lives that we can live what is that voice that voice of courses our selam aleykum it's the piece of the rabona Shalom that's inside us that competes with our animal instinct and our animal impulse the animal that just says enjoy and have pleasure and have more things but behind that voice competing with that voice hopefully triumphing over that voice is that selam aleykum that represented from a college bar who when he first breed that life inside of a it's a sham leukemia Odom affirmed in Adam AA rahi pop be a pop knishmas high and by year Adam the nefesh kya there's a Salim elokim inside us and it dreams and it reaches and it stretches and it wants more and it knows it's capable of more and it believes we can have more but it produces that competing voice that's equal and opposite it as the Gemara broth Hassan McAuliffe tells us it's a sham okay mr. Odom the Schnee Odin schnell it's Aram the two hidden in that word the two years represent and reflect those competing voices the one that dreams and aspires but the voice of resistance that tries to hold us back that sabotages our own success that tries to convince us we can't do it or we'll never last that we don't make a difference and we're not consequential even when we are I couldn't help but share with you I found online curious I googled the word hate Sahara and resistance and came up with an article that Pressfield a non Jew himself wrote source number five on page five where he describes that in Judaism there's a name for the force that he calls resistance and that name is the Yates our Hara and he describes its impact that resistance is insidious implacable in the fatigue of all it's a protein at shape-shifts it lies it assembles it aims to destroy us our body and our soul and it's not satisfied unless until it succeeds but that's not the part of his book I want to focus on this evening what I want to share with you is the second half of what I think is his magnificent book how we overcome that resistance what is the mentality what is the paradigm shift we need to undergo what do we need to introduce into our homes and into our lives what do we need to introduce to our children and our grandchildren that will empower and enable and give them the strength and the courage to overcome that resistance to hear that small still voice and to live our best lives and I want to do it by introducing you to a different article it appeared in Macquarie Schon last summer you may have seen it it made the rounds but it really struck me it's called what my children remain religious I haven't seen a lot of articles in mccrory shown translated to English this one was I thought kids could be raised on compromising cultural Judaism the author writes and she says I was wrong she writes where of this Meera's gone we eat together make kiddush together Shabbos is still Shabbos but the tunes have slowly dissipated over the years replaced by witty conversation or political debate they went from being a natural ritual we simply couldn't go without to some bothersome task we couldn't wait to get rid of why shouldn't we stop the fun to just sing draw reoccur oh that sort of thought could get you officially labeled a party pooper when my son wanted to enroll in a religious high school they announced there'd be a Judaism exam say I wondered suddenly on our way to his test you even know Allah mithya by heart of course he didn't after all the perfectly Orthodox light family he grew up in doesn't force the kids to bench anymore so Sheba moans that her son who was raised in a Jewish an Orthodox home with an Orthodox education didn't even know the words to Allah mithya by heart because she hadn't been forcing him to say it last Shabbos she writes when the boys refused to go to shul I found myself begging them to go with forced moderation it hit me at full force I failed at educating my children all these years I told myself one could raise children on a cultural religiosity that if we just send them to a coed school and don't pressure them out in Jewish issues we could turn them into the perfect progressive religious Jews ones who know toda but have their doubts about it who know Allah but don't necessarily abide by it and now I wonder if my kids will remain religious she writes and it's worth reading the whole article but I don't want to take up all of our time by doing it for you slowly gradually I feel the Torah being forgotten her whole prayers I used to know by heart are dimming in my mind how ritual is the Charmy during child that have turned into nothing but a warped memory I thought I could instill my children the ability to be religious in theory to know the blessings but not say them to go to shul but not davon passionately but I failed and suddenly I can understand my father who insisted we sit next to the table and sings murals not exceptions he understood what I'm beginning to understand now she concludes that you can introduce a way of life without repetitive and deliberate assimilation you can't raise the next generation on episodic folklore annoying as it sounds there's no way to instill substantial religiosity and your children without a pinch of forcefulness requiring a certain sacrifice we wanted to raise a generation of sophisticated religious Jews who didn't carry hollow trauma without noticing we got a generation of know-nothings and this is a challenge not in every community and certainly not in every home and I want to be very very careful to clarify that not every home that is a child who's struggling with religious inspiration it's because their parents didn't do enough we have magnificent perfect homes of religious enthusiasm paradigms of what it means to be a Torah home with children who nevertheless have made other choices and we have tomes that barely reflect any of the values of Torah from which children have graduated to become extraordinary Torah personalities I'm not talking a ten be a particular child it's certainly not about any particular home but rather describing a greater phenomenon of a very casual mentality towards our Torah way of life a fragmented bifurcated existence where yes I'm observant in shul and even the conscious in my home but really I want to be a member of the country club if not literally figuratively I want to fit in I want to belong I want the world values and mores to conform with Torah wants and if the two don't conform and they compete I'm not sure which one I'm going to choose a world in which were casual about our attitude towards Torah has yielded a generation and maybe one of the first times in Jewish history where there's an invitation to leave to take the world and our host country up on that choice and it's scary it is frightening and it's deeply deeply devastating this week is not over and I had two meetings this week and it's not a reflection of my community as I speak to my colleagues or you speak to the other a Bunim for elsewhere they'll tell you I'm sure the same I had two meetings this week with parents whose children went through a rigorous Orthodox which educational system 12 years followed by at least one year in Israel followed by higher Jewish education who now at best are off the Darracq entirely disinterested in a Jewish way of life for raising children in the Jewish way and more and more conversations with graduates of our system who are walking away to the unthinkable to marry a non Jew one woman told me challenged her son you know if you marry this woman my grandchildren won't be Jewish and he said good I don't want Jewish children they don't need that label they don't need that hang-up they don't need that identity just want to fit in were just humans and these are no longer isolated cases or incidents they're a growing phenomenon within our community and that's what I want to talk to you about so Pressfield rights in the war of art that the answer to overcoming resistance and when I read this it struck me is exactly the antidote it's what we need it's the change we need to embrace he writes at source 7 on page 8 I'm not going to read much more aspiring artists defeated by resistance share one trait they all think like amateurs they've not yet turned professional they've not yet turned pro the moment an artist turns pro is as epochal as the birth of his first child with one stroke everything changes I can state absolutely the term of my life can be divided into two parts before turning pro and after to be clear when I say professional I don't mean doctors and lawyers those are the professions I mean the professional as an ideal the professional in contrast to the amateur consider the difference he challenges the amateur plays for fun the professional plays for keeps to the amateur the game is his avocation to the pro it's his vocation the amateur plays part-time the professional full-time the amateur is a weekend warrior the professional is there seven days a week the word amateur comes from the Latin root meaning tool of the conventional interpretation is that the amateur pursues his calling love while the pro does it for money but not the way I see it in my view he writes the amateur does not love the game enough if he did he would not pursue it as a sideline distinct from his real location the professional loves it so much he dedicates his life to it he commits a full-time that's what I mean when I say turning pro resistance hates it when we turn pro and the question we have to ask ourselves to the outside observer of our lives now we're in Schuler in the base Meldrick or around the Shabbos table but to the outside observer of the rest of our lives which makes up the bulk of our time are we amateur Jews or are we professional is this part-time or full-time our vocation or vocation do we love it do we embrace it do we live it do we represent it is it contagious the Gemara says a native and after demo records of my locust that went on for two and a half years between be shaman basil--oh noah adams alone every OSA mission ever or no olodum should never do so me alone never was it better to have been created no I would have been more comfortable it would have been easier if we didn't even exist we wouldn't have the struggles and challenges we face so would it have been better it would have been more comfortable if we're naughty or is it better we're here and says the Gemara nineveh Gamu now a flaw of the michelin Evra yosemite ephraim they took a vote in the base measures that day show of hands and they concluded based on the vote it would have been easier it would have been better if we were never created to begin with how did they arrive at that conclusion life no matter how challenging it is is filled with such blessing an opportunity such beauty and meaning and purpose how do they come to that conclusion the marshana's comment on that Gomorrah explains such an insight says NIM Nouveau guru does not mean they took a vote in the base measures says the Martian in the Vergara means they counted the mitzvahs and it's a very simple calculation we have 365 negative Commandments laven 365 things that can go wrong and we have 248 mitzvahs ese 248 invitations for things to go right LEM Nouveau Gombu they simply did the math and they concluded when you wake up in the morning there's a bigger chance of messing up than there is of getting it right there's more that can go wrong than can go right so no outlawed the machine loan ever since the marsh of the conclusion was not based on a vote in the base mesh but NIM Nouveau camera they counted the SI and the low size say and they said it's easier to fail than it is to succeed so no claude anshin if ro would have been better if we never even had this experiment called life but the bell it's a rebus says the marshal made a fundamental error you notice mistake was yes there's 365 ways it can go wrong but there's not 248 ways for it to go right there's 248 formal mitzvahs that we have on the books but every second and every moment of every day every interaction in the supermarket at work in the gym on the bus on the subway in the airport every moment every day of our lives is an opportunity for it to go right when we are professional Jews inspired and informed in our lives animated by our commitment to the sacred timelessness of Torah to informing our values and our ethics our attitude our behavior in regulating who we are and how we feel and what we think about it where we go and what we do it is a limitless number Nineveh Gomorrah they got the math wrong the possibilities to mess up they were right but it's not only 248 ways that can go right it's so many more Gomorrah brothels Kafala tells us in the name of of johanna la vie she's followed them call young culo halav i a person could dive in all day long but what i love i of course--i can't dive in all day long you got to earn a living and you got a shop and cook and you got to take care of children there's so much to do we don't have the luxury of sitting with a sitter the entire day long even if we felt we could or even if we legitimately wanted to so Ravana mapa sister says that's not what it means a lavage is falcomon doesn't mean that we sit with that tolerance villain or with our sitter TLM opened Avenue all day long says you know the Gemara mantle of a she is paula cole i own i live i before you walked into the operating room you uttered its Fila and before you walked into the boardroom or the courtroom or before you got into the car to drive you honored its Fela to arrive safe before you put your kids on the school bus and before you before you put that recipe in the oven the other it's Fela that it come out well well advice she is follow calm doesn't mean ensure with the sitter it means how have I that we're living with such a dynamic passionate relationship with the rabona shown that he's there he's present is by our side in every activity and every opportunity and every obligation and every responsibility she is power colione wherever we go and whatever we do to utter its Fela a moment a sentence a word a thought a hope a wish the boenish alone Almighty be with me and enable and allow me to succeed an amateur Jews sitter sits in shul the amateur Jew only has a sitter that sits in the bookies at home the professional Jew is davon in all day long from when they wake up to they fall asleep they don't stop talking to God between the thank-yous and the please between what we need his help on and what we're so grateful he's done for us we don't pause from Davin II elevations Paulo Cole I am culo is the difference between the amateur and the professional pastor Kenya Shia we sing at young men around Ivo Sanader haircut she became a feminist philosophy he faced Fela Carla Holloman the simple meaning is Courvoisier logic Kerala column in the basin Mukesh crabbiness can be offered on behalf of non-jews of Gentiles not only on behalf of Jews Hara bias the mahkumat make touch the base and make - was a central place of spirituality not only for the Jews but for the whole world but there's no turneth shot which is offered it is not a shot it's ad rush but it's so beautiful they see based V logical Jolla I'm in you know when it comes to a non-jew their home looks entirely secular mundane the place of religious activity is the church is the religious center that's where there are religious icons and religious prayer books that's where there's religious activity that's where there's religious ritual but the home is a secular place of mundane activity but for a Jew for a professional Jew not an amateur someone were to walk into our home would immediately be struck that the posters that hang on our walls are not of celebrities or athletes there are our greatest righteous people of a highway Nehru SS Morocco there are bookcases are lying not only with the wisdom the secular wisdom of which there is so much to draw but by the timeless wisdom of our Torah they see the barajas that are being offered in the davon II which is taking place and the HESA which is being coordinated and therefore to the outside observer they would look and they would say our aspiration is that they'll say keep they see that my home is a base feel Allah Holloman compared to the other nations of the world our home is a religious center of activity it looks like a religious place of worship our homes look like shoals compared to the average secular person that's what it means to be a professional Jew we don't leave our religious activity in the shul in the base Madras in the school but our Torah is alive it's vibrant it's relevant it informs and inspires everything we do a shout he says David I'm Ella I just want to sit in your home all day long call you make I says the solanum rebel that's impossible we have so much to you can't you have to sit down and you Shiva Banach - of course it can't be in the basis I make - all the days of your life he says governor Malik wasn't asking I want to be in your house - based on make - every day shifty beliefs asean-korea make hey I meant last husband Amish M I want you to come with me to the boardroom or the courtroom or the operating room ramona shalom i want to feel your presence in the aisles of the supermarket i want to feel your presence on the way out of the exercise class i want to feel your presence on the way to the airport is stuck at the red light or in traffic wherever i go and whatever I do Akash LT my only hope and dream is that my life is inspired by your presence a feeling that you are by my side because my dearest friends that is exactly what our children are watching our we amateur Jews are professional is it part-time or full-time is that an avocation or a vocation do we love what we do or is it a burden we're looking to unload they're watching machine anthem the Wanaka we have a responsibility the awesome responsibility to teach our children and you know where they learn the most their classroom of highest learning is our home the shift to hub of a circle how do they see us sit in our home over life talk about Derek and what do we do on vacation what do we do when we're on the road the sharp aku maha in our free time how is it filled not just by shift acaba Bishop busca how do we spend our Shabbos it was an article in The Wall Street Journal just last week it's here on page 12 you may have seen it don't believe in God lie to your children this therapist she writes as a therapist I'm often asked to explain why depression and anxiety are so common among children and adolescents do you know that one out of three adolescents one out of three adolescents today will be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder by the age of 18 one out of three the statistics are startling and the trajectory is only going up of the mental health challenges among young people and so she says she's asked often - what it's attributed and many have spilled much ink and trying to say technology social media there are a lot of a lot of variables but she had a lot of courage writing this article in The Wall Street Journal because she says one of the most important explanations and perhaps the most neglected is declining interest in religion America is becoming a less religious place there is less religion being practiced in our homes and in our lives she quotes a Harvard study that examined 5,000 individuals with controls for socio demographic characteristics and maternal health and you know what the result was listen to this children or teens who reported attending a religious service at least once per week scored higher on psychological well-being measurements and had lower risks of mental illness research science now confirms that if you go to shul at least once a week you will be physically and mentally healthier if you see and practice more religion it's not voodoo it's not a schooler you can't tie the religion around your wrist and think that you're gonna be healthier it means that if you invite God more into your life if you decide you're ready to take on resistance and defeat it you're ready to go from an amateur to a professional if you decide you're ready to live your life answering to a higher calling and I are being to feel his presence and to meet his expectations and to elevate ourselves then the results are now measurable physically and mentally and emotionally and that's her conclusion on the next page today the u.s. is a competitive scary stressful place that idealizes perfectionism materialism selfishness and virtual rather than real human connection religion is the best bulwark against that kind of society it takes an op-ed in The Wall Street Journal to tell us I can't tell you how many people emailed this to me as if this is the proof that we need more or the wall street journal past games we need more religion if you're not scared by the trajectory and direction of the mental health challenges among our young people by the impact of assimilation even within the observant community of our values and ideas and perspectives then you need to know that embracing a more passionate more dynamic more loyal fiercely loyal more living relationship with us in a more professional way of life is the answer so the Gemara praça mauá VFS tells us that all three encountered the mahkumat make - with the Gemara testifies that Yaakov got the description right haven't called it a higher the mahkum emitters the quest for spirituality is like a mountain you try to climb it you try to ascend it but you know it's really hard to stay on top of the mountain the air is very thin up there it's dangerous it's very hard to stay on top of the mountain me Allah bhai showing me a kumquat show Yitzhak describes it as a field the quests the pursuit of spirituality of rookies of meaning and purpose it's like a field that you plant and then it blossoms but you know what happens after you harvest the field it lays fallow it's dead and you have to start again and so says the Gemara the best the most accurate description of the quest of the pursuit of roughness of spirituality was given by a cava vino who describes the mahkumat mikdash holiness is not a mountain and not a field but a bias a home the holiest place the most critical classroom is not the shul nor is it the base mattress but it is a bias the mahkumat make - the most accurate description is a bias is our homes it's the greatest incubator it's the most important classroom and we are the most important teachers you know when we bench we say hurrah Kimani Voorhis Adam or Eve SME Marat see we ask our chef de bas our Father who's our teacher our mother a teacher she will kamenetsky wonders Ave Maria MIMO Rossi my father's not a motor and my mother's not a Marat they didn't go into that profession they're not in education or enough why am i calling them a motor and a and he says because every father and every mother are a teacher whether you went into a professionally whether it's how you collect your paycheck whether it's how you made your career but every father or mother and I would argue that even those also those who don't have children we are teachers to those around us and with whom we interact anyone who's watching us and observing our behavior and how we live our lives how we make our priorities what matters and what's important to us what we do when things don't go right and her we tell how we turn to and do we panic or do we trust and have faith we are all teachers - all those watching but you know we can't teach unless we feel we can't inspire unless we're living huh success in Asia shifted from I am Li Bais no hoc panache M the Navi cries out poured out your heart like water no hoc panache M revolve on a leash or as a beautiful essay source 18 and he describes this is the ultimate mission we don't spend enough time teaching this in our education and curriculum we don't spend enough time emphasizing this but our goal in our mission you can't be shift Lea come I am Li bathe you know I'll tell you what we all do I don't know if there any sessions over this oh you weekend dedicated to this the problem of finding meaning and daven Eng davon in an ad D world a multimedia world how do you find meaning how do you find purpose how do you concentrate how do we stop the talking how do we tackle the issues of decorum sessions and sessions and conferences and conventions but you know we're focused on shift lee kum i am lee Baek why aren't we why aren't we tapping at the Davin hang says revolt but you know why because you can't Davin well or effectively if you don't feel that you're no hoppin a sham the prerequisite to talking to God is understanding or believing that you're in the presence of God is having a relationship with God and so Torah and mitzvot are a framework they're a platform that are meant to reinforce and position us to a place that I feel I'm no Hoffman am I am the fun of I'm no hop on of Apsara I'm opposite him I'm with him he's in the room would I watch this if I realized he was sitting on the couch next to me would I go there if he was spending time with me would I say that if he were listening to me no husband ahem do we live our lives into the people around us see us living our lives as no huh that he's in the room that he's part of the conversation someone called me earlier today about a challenge they're going through a decision they have to make in their career and we had a long conversation than we analyzed and evaluated all the variables and considerations then I said him you know is one thing we haven't asked it's one thing we haven't talked about what do you think hashem wants you to do have you thought about what Hashem wants us to do he's an evangelical pastor in South Florida who I've done a lot of work with together on pro-israel activity a la vie our own Jewish community would be as passionate and devoted as he is in some of his colleagues so I remember once we were deliberating about a certain program we were trying to do or how to tackle a certain issue and he said you know rabbi let's pray on it let's take a moment and ask God to help us find the inspiration of what the answer should be and at first I was like that is so weird we don't we don't do that that's weird like we just go to shul and mumble words that we don't know or think about so we could put a check next to it until the next one in the afternoon comes but we don't actually when we're facing a dilemma stop and say God what do you want me to do that's no connection that's what it means to be a professional manager that's what it means to craft a home and a life for the lifestyle which I share this with us everywhere we go everything we do in which this is not a lifestyle that's a burden this is not a lifestyle that we only wish we didn't have to live this is a lifestyle which is the greatest privilege the greatest blessing gives us the greatest meaning and the greatest purpose we are in love with it it's what we do full-time it's who we are it's a beautiful asset better about why why Jacobson this past July was the 50th anniversary of the moon landing and he shared a insight that Lubavitch Arava is that sol had after man landed on the moon and again we're short on time and if you think it's late at night for you when I accepted to speak tonight I forgot about the time change and what night it is what time it is for me so we won't read it inside but you have it that's why we produced these so you can read it it's really worthwhile the barbeque rabbit talked about those Jews who say what do I have to care about the minutia in the details on halakha why have to worry about the small things come on like I'm a good person and I've good morals and good values and isn't that what Judaism and tor is really all about is now God wants from me just be a good person and a kind person and what are you so obsessed with the neurotic about all the details and all the minutia and they're about a beautiful metaphor in response to the moon landing about the astronauts responsibility he said before the three astronauts boarded the Apollo they were instructed how to conduct a daily schedule while on the spacecraft in the most exacting detail they were told what to wear and how to put on their shoes what to eat and when not to eat how to sit how to move around and sleep even how to tend to their bodily needs almost every part of their behavior from the most external to the most intimate needed to conform to the meticulous instructions outlined by the space experts now imagine imagine said the red being mid-flight one of the astronauts would decide to take things in his own hand and say I want to light up a cigarette and enjoy a smoke he would naturally be rebuked and penalized harshly that was that fair what do you care about the details in the minutiae he just wants a smoke and who are you to impose on him what you think are your rules he just wants a smoke it's obviously a foolish observation if you're igniting a cigarette or eating the wrong food in the privacy of your own home on a street corner it's your business but you ignite a flame or deviate in some other way from the prescribed rules of conduct among amid a mission in outer space an insignificant aberration of a few rules is placing three lives in danger it's sending a multi-billion dollar investment to the garbage dump it's lying waste decades of Sweat toil and energy took 24 billion to give Neil Armstrong a chance to walk on the moon for two hours and no one would have the hutzpah to have the selfishness to neglect a detail or the minutiae which could compromise the entire mission and the RepA said ariados our Judaism is a mission we have certainly made the world a better place and we continue to bear the responsibility to teach the world each and every day and every one of us have a critical role to play on that mission and we're not entitled to be selfish or to neglect any of the details or the rules of the minutiae because the threatens to abort the entire mission if you look I share with you some of the demographic studies there's debate how accurate they are but until we have something better that's what we work off of survey 4,000 Modern Orthodox Jews that was done in 2017 with some charts another one that was just released one month ago in November and the news is are not so exciting on the one hand we have more yeshivas and more Cola women more Madrazo and more learning opportunities there's a greater vibrancy certainly it's more easy to be an observant Jew than ever but nevertheless and on the other hand we have more challenge and more threatening to walk away and more walking away we have a lot to worry about and a lot to fear we can't be distracted by the things which are taking up too much of our time in the Orthodox community and this is the part that's resonating very deeply with me so bear with me please if you will there's so much effort that's expended to point the finger and criticize other segments of the Orthodox community there are those who are obsessed with the right and some of their extreme policies which we reject or have trouble even understanding there's others who are consumed by pointing a finger and fear and worry and confrontation with those on the left and fear that they are distorting our sacred Torah but I have to tell you that while we are distracted by other segments of the community Rome is burning our own community is not enhanced and it's not enriched it's not elevated and it's not inspired by that conversation and by that focus you know we're only a small sliver of the Jewish people you know that right there's a large Jewish population in America and of that large Jewish population in America how much you think are Orthodox of the six seven million Jews how many are Orthodox we live within sort of say our echo chambers and our insular community and we tend to mislead ourselves to think like most of the Jewish world's Orthodox probably right it's 10 maybe 11 percent that are Orthodox we are a tiny fraction and of the non-orthodox the assimilation and intermarriage rates are skyrocketing and our own children are seeing what they view as our own Burdan or amateur attitude or casual way in which we deal with our Judaism relegating it to the shul of the base measures but failing to bring it home or to our boardroom or on vacation with us and therefore they're struggling with their own inspiration and their own passion as a result and sadly within the centrist community or whatever name you want to put on it and labels are all terrible you'll sometimes hear people who are more threatened and worried about their children putting on a black cap and they are about their children taking off their yarmulke altogether what's happening on secular college campuses is devastating and it is dangerous and the risk and responsibility people are taking into their hands by not at least doing the research to know where they're sending children or what kind of support system will be there or what will happen once they go it's simply irresponsible irresponsible helluva helluva our biggest challenge should be our children surpassing us in their religious observance and their religious passion in the year sham I am in their lifestyle in their observance you know we say at the bris of a child of a baby boy Zack cotton God oh yeah may this little baby right now a little pit school or a tiny little baby may they grow to be a god though may they grow in size may they grow in stature made the develop cognitively Zack cotton God oh yeah but my uncle about Shawn Raphael on the Czar once said at a bris of one of his grandchildren a different shot he said well we're really hoping and what we're really dreaming is Zach cotton God told me many year that right now this little child he doesn't know anything he doesn't do anything he doesn't practice anything but we declare at his bris Zach cotton God told me many that our dream is not for our children to be just like us Dominic starts at 9 I come at 9:30 he better come only at 9:30 I talked during Dominique she needs to talk during governing we keep this level of cashiers they better not keep any better level of cashiers than us I've yet to the parents say I went to City College I don't want my child going to Ivy League all other endeavors we want our children to be overachievers and religiously out of our own fear neuroses negative experiences insecurity there's too much encouraging our children to be underachievers do only exactly as much as me look my Shabbos table has to look like mine your cash your standards your modesty you'd better not wear any more any better any different our biggest dream is a cotton God on me many our biggest aspiration is that our children and grandchildren have a greater Eurasian Mayan and a more passionate Judaism and live more professional lives than even we are we have to turn our attention from the right and the left and others and criticism because you know no child ever walked away from growing up at a Shabbos table where they heard criticism and said you know I want to be more religiously inspired no one ever was turned on by hearing criticism of any other direction our our effort and our emphasis in my humble opinion has to be and continuing to mold the most beautiful community a community that will draw and attract people to want to be part of it for the values it stands for for the lifestyle leads for the difference it makes for the joy it brings for the meaning and purpose it cultivates to not focus on others about only inward on ourselves because we can't change or move the needle in those places who for the most part are not interested in our opinions or criticisms anyway but only to be the best examples we can be the ship dock above a circle of electrical vedera keep a sea-based Fela Acharya LaJolla aiming to turn our homes into places which are on fire which are passionate to live no huff panache am I was once at a bris and you know what happens at a bris early in the morning people have to go to work so the table starts out full cause everyone's hungry but one by one people drop out because they have to go to work until you find yourself you're one of the two last people at the table and now you don't know what to do because you have to go rob buddies also I have to go to work even from a bris so I was sitting with someone and I said I'm so sorry please forgive me I feel terrible leaving you alone but I have to go and he looked up to me and he said rabbi never alone I'm sitting here with rush em go wherever you have to go that was a year that was a Jew who was experiencing know who finish em Hashem was lafon of Hashem was before him that was a Jew that when he had a dilemma about what to do stopped and he sadly prayed on it who wasn't sure the next move his career and he said to himself what does Hashem want me to do what would give the greatest not a throw off to the Almighty what is the right thing to do what is the right way to behave Heaney I'm in bottom gnomish M says the Navi vamos yesh lofty Roth Bharat's Laura valleca ballots Amala mine commissioners devar hashem we're living in that time where there is that thirst and there is that hunger there is this insatiable appetite and a longing it's not for water and it's not for bread but it's lush mahadevraya shem look around this world and see it in our children the jew lling and the alcohol and the drugs the gambling and the pornography every addiction is an effort to numb ourselves to the unhappiness and to the vacuum to the emptiness the words of Simon & Garfunkel I'm empty and aching and I don't know why our children and many of us have were honest with ourselves and others are empty and aching and don't know why because we're hungry and we're thirsty we're dehydrated and malnourished not for food and not for liquid with Moshe Javed violet ammad of their own power rights and source 27 you could read it on your own that why is there this hunger and thirst for devar hashem why are people so dehydrated a malnourished look at the bookcases around this holy base madras look at the access to torah on any technological device unprecedented unparalleled any hour of the day 24 6 you could listen to torah in any language on any subject from any expert anywhere you are it's enormous the opportunity for tomorrow so why is there such a thirst and why is there such a hunger he wanders and he says it's not a hunger and it's not a thirst for textual total learning but it's a hunger and a thirst for living no ha finish em we're going through the motions and we're doing all the right things but is it informed that inspired at its core is there a feeling that I'm sitting opposite to Hashem I'm sitting opposite to Hashem Yaakov Avena wakes up from his dream and he says lo ya dot see I didn't know that I sham was here even in this place and I saw upshot the same word Shana for sleeps means Shana means to learn he says I was sitting and learning and I didn't even know that I Shem is in this place do our children know that when you're done learning the DAF Yomi you're supposed to walk out and be a holier Jew more inspired a better husband or wife a mother a father a better davon or a better ba Cressida better ba me DOS do they know that a Shem can be found at Baba kama and Baba Batra and in the Navi and the hamish class to the devar hashem is not access to torah learning that we have an unprecedented ways that devar hashem is that feeling of no hoffman am the emptiness and the aching is to feel that was something bigger and there's a bigger plan and we're capable of more and our best lives are not yet lived they're out there and so I call on you and all of us to hear that cold Emma medaka that silence sound inside all of us to overcome the resistance that stands between the lives were living in the best lives that we have yet to live the passionate lives the dynamic lies the enthusiastic lives the lives in which Hashem is a part of every moment of every day that were not focused on right or left we're not going to the rider going to the left we're just going mikail Ohio that we're reaching out and reaching in and reaching up in all that we do with a greater commitment to Torah learning to stop being under achievers in our spirituality to not only aim to kill it in Kashmir switch our world creates greater pressure than ever to do but to kill it in roughness and spirituality that the quality and the content of our Torah learning and our da Vernon and The Vow acid be greater and better than it ever was this was the message I end with that obey Leo Young gave to Hermon whoa passed away this past year an extraordinary individual and how old he was when he published his last book lest you think this is a nice speech for younger people but you know I'm retired I'm in the twilight of life it's too late to make changes it's too late to feel no hoffman a.m. it's too late to become the avi moriori Mima Rossi for my children or grandchildren or great-grandchildren you need to know that it's never too late herman wouk published his last book when he was 101 years old at a hundred he was still publishing and writing chapters and our books are still yet unwritten our next chapter our best chapter is yet to come so what was raised by observant parents and influenced by his learned grandfather from Minsk but in his 20s he drifted from observance and he came under the influence of rabbi Leo Jung the rabbi of the Jewish Center in Manhattan and walked began to accompany him on his daily walk around Central Park and they talked and with World War 2 s approach what went off to the Naval Academy did an extended tour of duty in the Pacific and he kept up a correspondence with her by young and her balanced Herman woke at a pivotal juncture in his life when he had to make a choice of whether he was going to be an amateur jewel or a professional part-time or full-time avocation or vocation casual or serious and listened to what her by Jung wrote to him and these are the message the challenge I want to offer you when you come back and have to make up your mind once and for all whether you want to travel the path of Torah true Judaism with these responsibilities and conveniences and passable handicaps in your career or whether you want to retain an emotional appreciation of Jewish faith and an attitude of appeasement and partial conformity decide once and for all on abiding loyalty to the denon Torah and achieve that inner serenity which I know you are seeking and indeed the was the decision that Herman will made we each have it inside us our best lives have not yet been lived we can overcome that resistance we can become that model and we can create that community last Pesach our Seder ended it was the middle of the night maybe 1:00 1:30 in the morning we walked out our guests I walked out a woman and had she was heading out of my house in my backyard is the path to go to shul in just a few moments later she came running back said rabbi Robbie screaming yelling panicking come come come quickly so I followed and I ran to her into the parking lot of shul and as soon as I got into the parking lot of our shul I saw there was an enormous enormous flame there was an enormous fire it was connecting to a tree adjacent to the building it threatened the whole building now we're looking to a campus expense and so my first thought was turn around go home and do nothing but she was panicking she was yelling she was screaming and she was so worried by the time I got to the dumpster which was on fire the fire department pulled in someone else had seen it and called the fire department that came they put out the fire you know we wondered where in the world that this fire come from it's an enormous blaze it was raging I don't have to tell you here in California the dangers of a fire and devastation that it could wreak so the fire department figured out what it was together with our custodial staff you see that morning was beer comets and we have a big metal drum that is a fire from early in the morning and until this man of beer helmets our entire neighborhood hundreds and hundreds and hundreds maybe a couple thousand with their family come and put their humus and the drum is on fire and the custodian felt terrible had waited until the fire went out and he took a hose and he doused the fire and he had an enormous amount of water on top of that fire in the drum waited for the drum to cool waited for the water to stop steaming until he was confident the entire was entirely out and only then did he take the contents of the drum and turn it over into that dumpster and the fire department confirmed you know that drum that looked like it was out that it was ice-cold that drum that looked like there was nothing inside of it there was a little ember on the bottom a tiny little spark it was barely discernible you can see it if you try to touch it you couldn't even feel it and if challenged you would bet your life it wasn't even there but all it takes all it takes is a little ember a tiny little spark the littlest littlest fire that if it's given the opportunity to breathe if it's given the oxygen it needs can turn into an enormous blaze a huge bright burning fire every one of us and every member of our family have that ember inside them that pintle hid that Taurus sparked that selam aleykum that coal de mama daca and if we give it the oxygen it so desperately needs if we feed it the food it's so malnourished from if we give it the drink it's so dehydrated from the devar hashem the no hoc panache m it can burn bright that it can be passed as a torch from one generation to another so that will all merit to ring that down and have all the novice come running mid-session thank you so much