A Union is to be One - Part 1 - Rabbi Samuel Steinhaus

[Music] friends so we've been we've been through the Western scene we've been through the backpacking along the length and breadth of Europe we've been doing yet we've seen all there is to see and we are searching what are we searching for and we we hadn't clearly defined it we were able to say to ourselves what it is that we're not looking now what we're not finding to see through the Western society to see they've seen through American chasing after the dream chasing after the dream chasing after the dream yes selling newspapers and getting what in return even though it's the millions so why is it happiness is it fulfillment is it God or maybe we've come from other European countries and what hits us has been meaningless nests of an existence that wakes up in the morning works through the day goes to bed at night gets up to the next morning what's the same way as the donkey and famous donkey who worked all day because the donkey was couldn't wait for his oats and why does the donkey need notes to get strength and why does the donkey need strength to be able to work and why does the donkey work to get his outs looking forward to the oats and the oats are there to get him strong and it's a cycle that just goes on and on and on and on and doesn't justify it so we'll be looking around and we've been seeing and appreciating the beauty and quaintness of different societies and cultures and come back with the same round Oh doesn't answer certain perhaps we've run away to a spiritual place we've run to India and in India we've seen the gurus and the people of the masses we've seen the masses but we've also seen the messes seen that it's paper-thin it doesn't answer the essential questions of how to build a happy healthy normal meaningful existence meditation forever is not the answer spiritual highs that are followed by spiritual laws is not the answer so we were left with a question and in our last talk we discovered together that what we were looking for or what we are looking for is a relationship what is the relationship well a relationship in human terms is the most uplifting spiritual ongoing physical form of good existence that there is two people for each other with each other bonding to each other caring for each other loving each other and meaningfully together producing that which God intended them to do to build a home a family a unit in the nation it's the highest in human terms and we said and we saw that what we're looking for is a relationship and the relationship includes God but then we get stuck a relationship in our terms is very very much focused on communication do people find each other can get on with each other and have fun times together with each other enjoy each other's company it's a budding relationship in real terms there's a huge ingredient that is missing in our definition because communication and finding each other and finding common a commonality that links us is beautiful but it's only the beginning of the beginning of the beginning because life doesn't consist as someone once said of looking at each other it consists of looking together with each other gather out in the same window we are facing life itself together and within that to find the relationship and a relationship at last what is the magic ingredient what is it that makes for a happy genuine relationship that includes everything of the world defines in a relationship but is solid through and through the clue to wisdom lies in our torah Hashem gave us gave us the answers there's a word a word in Hebrew that actually defines or translates a relationship and the word strangely enough is bris now everybody when you talk to them about a bris think of a circumcision it's not the translation of bris a bris Brit Brit means two people who have found each other and want to make that connection permanent and living and flowing and growing now in our world you either have bricks or you have flowers and trees bricks you put one on top of another and it stays and flowers and tree put in the ground and they grow in human terms my Rebbe means soul rest in peace said Torah teaches us that we have elements of both in a successful life the bris means that I not only enjoy your company but I've actually come to the conclusion that your company is what I want for the rest of my life but that means investment it means that we're gonna do this together and you're going to put your bit in and I'm going to put mine and it's more than a bit it's actually gonna make it working how do we do this yes we're young we're having fun we see we enjoy each other's company but life scenario changes people change there's others in the world as well and it's a complex world what's going to keep it there has to be and there is a formula that actually connects the two without losing any of the spontaneity and adds to it the joy and the confidence and the knowledge that it's going to last not only going to last but it's actually going to improve as time goes on how so those who talk about romantic love didn't know a thing they believe in some magical angel called Cupid that brings two people together the Torah teaches us that it's more it's more it's actually Hashem pulling the strings and bringing the two people who should be for each other together in ways nobody can fathom what does this mean it means when we designed for each other and our symporters together we were designed for each other and Hashem has brought us together whether we start through the root of boy meets girl or whether we go the route more traditional of basra traduced together and we actually say to ourselves right I'm prepared to marry this girl what we're really saying is I want there to be in the future and I'm confident there will be in the future a bond of love caring sharing and something somewhere there which cements and brings commitment and stickety to the relationship so that the love instead of being one day there and the next day falling out the wrong side of the bed somewhere gone and now remains consistent if not emotionally on a high all the time it doesn't have to be but it's it's there it's there it's that commitment combined with love that brings it together the word that is used is bris and bris means the commitment that we make to hold hold this relationship in a way that will stand the buffering and the battery over everything that the hunt site world can throw at us we stay together on the contrary we get stronger and the outside world doesn't just buffer and batter it actually sometimes even threatens somebody comes along No now my friend if I read you correctly you're prepared to invest whatever it takes to get things right but it's got to be in the right area investing in a bris is an investment that brings a thousand times more dividends than what you never imagined and this is not a share in relationships this is a shear in relating to God so all that we're discussing must have its parallel in what we're looking for in finding Hashem in the real world and let me tell you the real world is not the outside material world in the real world that includes the spiritual aspect of life in the real world things have been designed to succeed and if they've been designed to succeed they must include a spiritual ingredient and if they must include a spiritual ingredient that that ingredient is there to make us into better people at the same time there isn't a single love story that has been written that doesn't include two people finding each other in the beginning of the story and then being tested and tested and tested on route to see whether the love is sustaining or not it could be a test of some third party coming intervening it could be a test of human weakness yes it's all very well I love you but this is that and the other and the successful outcome means that that individual him and her has to become someone who overcomes weakness avoids it blocks it and moves forward finds his way either to an apology or to a strengthening and becoming a better human being so relationships were designed by God to refine us but it's real it's connected and rooted in spiritual reality not just in a superficial imagined imitation that the entertainment industry has to offer us and how many heartbreaks and how many broken homes brand relations or the direct product of that industry the billion-dollar industry for what for building a better society for building better homes for building better relationships someone once remarked is there is not a chance that the old films were made all of celluloid which is very combustible it's in because it might be better instead of showing them to use that combust ability and burn them because what they're doing to society is not building it's not sadly we have to look elsewhere for the reality that God created that is called a genuine true relationship of love and commitment and reality building reality the way God decided that beauty isn't just the flowers and not just the beautiful things that she's wearing it's good more than skin-deep it actually goes through and through now recognizing that the parallel exists between the human world designed by God of Briss and love and taking that and applying it to what we're looking for in the spiritual area in exactly the same way the true connection to God the relationship that we have with God has exactly these self same ingredients it has the ingredient of the inner feeling communication upliftment but more than that it is a two-way relationship as is every relationship it is bound together not just by feelings and upliftment and voluntary good deeds but it's bound together by a bris a bris means that once I recognize and we recognized as a nation that this is it we put ourselves in exactly the same situation that a young man and a young lady do when they come under the chuppah and they commit themselves from now and forever to become a one within marriage at Sinai where the entire claudius were God's chosen people we undertook to become his chosen people we entered into a bris and from then on it can only get better will it be tested yes has it been tested yes does it mean that it means a lot of investment on our side yes but it's worth every little bit because their relationship is worth every bit of investment that you can put into it you get you reap the rewards way beyond in terms of knowing that it's meaningful having pleasure pleasure spiritual pleasure and pleasure in a Shabbat in a festival in a celebrating of the connection that we have with God in the quiet serenity of a genuine prayer and it's being responded to an answered by Hashem Hashem listens to Dominic he listens to prayer it doesn't just want us to pray it's in the strength and clarity when we study a piece of Talmud or piece of Torah and we get clarity in how God loves us and how God wants us to act in a certain way and now we know and that strength you walk into a study hall of Torah you'll see them singing not so in the university they studied but it's quiet there people are joyous uplifted bantering with each other discussion discussing and uplifted into the core because it's real it's a shims brace we're part of it we're connecting so what we're looking for is available why because God is good he created the facility he created it where are we going wrong because we're not looking in the right direction we're looking to the superficial just as the ancient Romans were superficial and we don't have them today and so to the ancient Greeks every society that is not built on the reality of spirituality as given by Hashem and not just as imagined by people unfortunately it's not going to last and that's whether it's ancient civilizations or it's modern civilizations we are witnessing today a lot of areas of collapse in modern day civilization look at the statistics look at the crime look at the divorce rate do I have to say more look at what's happening in the banks and in government's is it a happy story did I ever tell you of the man with a sense of humor I met in Cape Town he says he only buys and afternoon newspaper sorry only buys a morning newspaper because he doesn't buy the evening paper because he wants a good night's sleep newspaper that's not a happy a happy story and we have missed it and when we find each one of us find our way back to God not just in the general religious sense but in following and clarifying what he wants from us building our lives around it around that bris and reaping the benefits ourselves our families our homes our everything will bring us joy to God and to ourselves have a good day [Music]