A Real Life Fairytale - The Bat Yisrael Diaries

[Music] I grew up in bar park in Brooklyn um we went to Bako Bar Park which was a very religious all girl school um I went there my whole element school um it was pretty much very strict uniform um you know 100% modest the like you like no running in the hallways no screaming it was very it was a very very strict religious school um and at home we kept kosher and shabis obviously like 100% and you know it was sort of like a bar Park is very black and white so it's everyone dresses the same everyone drove the same car acted the same you know everyone pretty much looked the same um whereas our family we were like more on the modern Orthodox side um you know my father drove a sports car which is like unheard of in the bar Park Community um we wore different type of clothes like I would walk out in flipflops to like take out the garbage or something or if I'm going outside and you know that's also unheard of like you can't walk out in flipflops in bar Park um you know you would be like when my neighbors would see us they would be like they would think like we're non-jews in comparison to them um so that's just the type of neighborhood that we lived in um but we always we always dressed modestly according to what we thought was okay um you know like we never wore short sleeves and stuff like that but like our skirts weren't long according to Ala or collar bones and stuff like that um and it was pretty much a very cookie cutter um lifestyle in bar Park um it's very much like a bubble living there it's all you see is um the same people like they all dress the same and they all have the same type of car um so I liveed there for 13 years and then we moved to North Miami Beach in Florida um and obviously that's a big shift coming from Bar Park to Florida is a completely opposite lifestyle um I was like shocked I didn't expect people to like walk around with short sleeves and short skirts and you know like girls would wear baseball caps and that was also unheard of like in bar Park like no girls would wear these type of things um but that was pretty much like when we moved here we realized that like okay like this is the normal for here in this neighborhood since the top people get away with I guess halaka which obviously back then then I didn't really understand um I went to a pretty religious all girl school um same uniform you have to wear uniform you have to um like act nicely in school and it was a it was a religious school um all girls and and the girls there out of out of school it would sort of be like you could wear whatever want and um that became like the new normal and coming from Bar Park um to Florida we became more on the modern Orthodox side so we went to movies go to the beach you know going to places where obviously Hashem doesn't want us to go um and it was a pretty much very modern Orthodox I didn't like I thought this was the new normal like you could wear shorter shirts and Tighter shirts and low collar bone and and you know low cut sleeves just because it's hot over here so it was a good excuse like that's what that's what I thought was The New Normal so we were pretty much modern Orthodox in Florida not I wasn't thinking much of it um you know I still kept shabas and still kept kosher and we still had a Jewish home but you know we weren't dressing so mod hly like our skirts were shorter than in bar Park our collar bone was shorter our sleeves are a little bit shorter um like I wouldn't walk outside in a mini skirt of short sleeves but I would walk outside in a skirt that like just covered my knees or just didn't cover my knees obviously not 100% according to [Music] Hala so one day my sister started going to the shes a by ruven and she would come home every night at like 12:00 a.m. and everyone would be like whoa like why you home so late what are you doing like we all thought it was bizarre going to shers like we never really we never really did that sort of stuff we were very much modern Orthodox at the time and she started going and she started you know changing her wardrobe a little bit wearing a dress um a long dress wearing like getting rid of certain skirts getting rid of certain shirts that were too flashy or too short and I was very interested and I was wondering like why is she doing this and you know she started going and going and then I said okay well you've been going for so long so I want to see what it's all about so I went um to oneor I can't remember which one it was it was in somebody's house um that was the first sh that I went to and and it was it was mind-blowing I never heard anything like that in my life I never heard a rabbi speak like that I never really went to Shor so um it was very very amazing very eye opening and I loved it and I always wanted to go to the shurs and slowly me and my other sister started going and my mom and it was very um um it was very very nice we really like learned an insane amount of stuff just from like going to one lecture you come back and I was like five pages of notes that it was just over over the top it was amazing um and one Shor specifically R started talking about modesty and how was like 60% of a woman is her modesty and I was shocked and I didn't I didn't really think that I was doing anything wrong because everyone around me was wearing it so I can't I um or it's hot so like why did a make it so hot why do we have to dress modestly like that was the sort of mindset that I still had um then after raberin said that it was the 60% I was shocked and that night I went home and I filled up garbage bags with all of my old clothes and and that was it it's I said it's crazy but I you know this is what Hashem wants every woman to do is to dress modestly um that's the most important MIT for us and it was very it was very eye openening and the BAM organization does so many things that I I'm like blown away every single time there's a new update every single time that there a new campaign it's just they do so much so many things happen behind the scenes that no one will ever know so many different mitzvos and that goes on in a daily basis in the organization is I've never seen anything like that and ever since going to one or that night I was hooked on going to all of them and listening to catching up the ones that I missed and it was very very very inspirational very amazing the one Shor that really stuck with me was that I can't remember which one I remember it was in a Sho um in the n abam on Wednesday night shs um it rather been talked about modesty for a woman and he was explaining it in a way comparing it to a diamond and he said a whole story that was just it was the most amazing story I've ever heard um and I thought that I was keeping modesty before but after that lecture I I even had to throw away more clothes because I've never heard anything like it I never I never really understood why why do we have to keep modesty like no one else does in this Florida or very little people do um um so what's the big deal like you know I still love Hashem I'm still connected to Hashem I still do in like so what if I'm dressing a little bit not modest according to Hala and after that Shor I think they turned it into a short clip on YouTube I'm not sure which one but um it was very eye openening and RT explained it in a way of how women are compared to a diamond and how you know no one wants to just show off their diamond and no one wants to just randomly have their diamond in middle of the street um not in a case not in a glass case because then you know someone could steal it someone could you know it's going to get dirty outside of the case and it was just an amazing analogy and um from that day on I finally understood what it means to be modest and why and how a daughter of Hashem is a very is held to a very high standard and you know it's not just something to be oh it's nice to dress modest it's nice to do this it's like I'm nice in my heart so I'm fine to just walk around the streets half naked like it can't be like that um and I I don't know what I would have done if I wouldn't have heard that lecture um it answered a lot of my questions and I finally UND why a woman needs to be modest especially in this generation my advice to other girls out there is that if you're struggling with modesty if you're struggling with any connection to Hashem any anything like that it's most likely because you're too attached to the secular world you know your foot can't be one in one out you're you have to be committed and you have to work hard you have to study and if you have a little inclination of oh well when I sit down this skirt technically covers my knees but not sometimes like I always have to make sure that my skirt is being pulled down or else my knees will show up it's very very hard lifestyle to live like that it's very confusing everyone needs to realize that you know they're the daughter of Hashem and the daughter of the king that created cre the whole world and created them and you know the king doesn't want his princesses to walk around with short sleeves short skirts dressing like they just came back from the gym or something they want their daughters to be respectable people um a light to the other nations they want their daughters to be someone that looks presentable and respectable like a daughter of a king and just like how the Queen of England you would never find her walking around IM modestly walking around in bright colors you know flashy outfits and all these things you would find the queen walking around in modest refined respectable manner quiet not over loud overbearing um so how much more so should you know the actual daughter of the king dress and act um and it's not going to take overnight it's not going to take a week you know it could take a month it could take two months to change but anyone out there that's not 100% sure if they're doing the right thing or you know if there's my sleeves are a little bit too short but it's technically okay because it covers a certain bone or my collar bone like all that stuff is just it's a very hard mentality to have you if it's if you have any inclination that it's wrong and then it's probably wrong if you have a feeling that it might be wrong but you know you're trying to find the loophole there's no point in doing that it's 100% wrong um and you know there's no loopholes in modesty modesty is Modesty um and it's not something that rabbis made up it's not something that teachers made up and it's not something that schools made up it's something that Hashem wants from his daughters and it's people don't realize the importance of it they don't realize that once they keep modesty they're already 60% done with their mission you know it's that's a big big chunk for a woman um and it's very hard in noway especially in the times before Messiah and in this generation it's modesty is almost non-existent it's very very hard to get through to anyone because no one really understands that you're not dressing modesty for anyone you know you're dressing modestly for yourself um because you're the daughter of the king and you want to make Hashem proud you want to make your father proud you want to make your father um see the good in you and not walk around like the gim walk around and you know you're supposed to be different from the other nations you're not supposed to be like inter with them and stuff like that it's very it's a very hard life to live having all these questions and having all these doubts and I remember it's very very very hard to live like that like always a feeling of you know am I doing the right thing well technically no because my skirt almost doesn't cover my knees it's a very hard life it's a very too many unanswered questions everyone just needs to learn the rules of modesty and why we need to dress modest and everyone should watch Rabbi ruen has a whole whole you type in Rabbi ruven modesty on YouTube and there's tons of videos um there's tons of resources out there to help people the Basham organization has a whole chart of the how modest girls should dress you know all the information's out there it's just if someone really really wants it they'll be able to find it and that is my message another really lifechanging thing that I learned from Rabbi ruven was the importance of our gdolim and you know the sages we never really wen't much about gulum growing up or we just knew like okay like RAF kki was like a really big Rabbi in Israel that people ask questions to um you know like we knew like Rashi like wrot commentary in the Kish and you know we knew the bab Bali like did Miracles with the water and with the arac like like we knew like little things but like we never really like thought much of it or really appreciated it for that matter and um one of the really the most important things that stood out was when Rabbi Ruben would talk about the gdm and the so he came and said stories about them and their lives and you know recommended certain like biographies to read and I started getting more into it and more interested and um I got one biography um after the other and I just couldn't put it down um they were amazing to see how these gdolim impacted thousands of people's lives and the way that they were raised and the way they raised their children it's lifechanging material to read and it gives you a glimpse into what hashem's army is really all about and for me that was very very eye openening and I'm always looking for you know a lot of biographies to read and more information about all the past gdolim and there's so much to learn from them and I never really had that appreciation towards them but after RAB ruven's lectures I I'm hooked on them now and biographies is all I want to read nowadays and you know after reading raar for example his biography um it's life-changing and it's it's really amazing that you learn these things in school all your life but you never really have appreciation you never really think much of it but now you know after Ian brings it to light and really talks about it in a way that no one else ever did um I'm so grateful for that because there's so much information to be learned and there's it's a level of respect that you have for the sages that you can never ever ever achieve without you know all this knowledge and without all the books and everything like that so that's also a major major um element that changed my life completely um trying to emulate the goolan and you know you can also read a little in their biographies of little tidbits about what their wife did and you know little insights into their daily schedule it's it's really really amazing and I I would encourage anyone if you want to feel some sort of connection to the sages read as many bags as you can they're very very lifechanging [Music] for amen