A Layman and a Lamdan Sit Down to Shmooze Part II

[Music] hello everyone my name is n SE I want to take this opportunity to thank amudim and yam Shak and his staff at chity bids for another opportunity to sit down with the amazing harita part two or the second installment of what we've been calling the Layman and the lumon and we'll use this opport Unity to explore some of the issues that I and I think many others are curious about and concerned about rebi a pleasure to speak with you again thank you for agreeing to do this good where did you spend shmin Adas this year I was in Wood mayor and what do you remember about hearing the news about what went on in Israel and what do you remember about your immediate reaction to the news that you heard shab this morning they already knew that many Jews were killed I think there's someone who lives there in a neighborhood who made the um the sound system for the Israeli Army so he I think I think he was on the phone all Friday night discussing issues that they had with the with the with the communication system that the Army had so he already told people in the neighborhood so before shakas already before daving on shabas morning on on we already heard that there was an attack and many Jews were killed they didn't they didn't say no one thought that it's uh so many over a thousand people the word was that many Jews were killed but there was and then the Hof were all toned down instead of singing cheerful n they were singing on another sh but they cut down on they fulfilled and in a bridge form and they sang T yeah and then of course after some you and all of us become familiar with all the details or as many as we're coming out and the entire Jewish world is basically tossed into a state of mourning um how else could you describe it uh it's now a few weeks later and by the time this is made available to everybody it'll be even a little further on what should our mood be what should the what should the uh Simas the weddings be like now in this period of time what would you recommend to people who don't know if they should be sad or carry on their regular day what do you think the a should be right now I'm scheduled to go to a wedding tonight I think the wedding should uh uh should proceed we should encourage the young couples to have more children like uh after the second world war everyone was encouraged to have more children because the Nazis had killed so many Jews so we should all have extra children but I think the weddings we should uh try to give U the full Sim by wedding but other functions I don't think you should try to tone everything else down the other night I got a phone uh someone sent me an email ma is's trying to get me I wasn't home past chabas I was I forgot already where I was I was out of town so uh someone said was trying to get me he sent an email by us it was late Sunday night so when can he call me on the phone so my wife uh picked up the email 11 minutes after the person sent it so she sends it back in email you can call now he calls me on the phone he tells me he lives in bees and the people are so sad they and all the barit Israel so they were considering having a comedian come and crack jokes for an hour clean jokes nothing off color so they wanted to ask my opinion so I said then he tells me afterwards he tells me they they already did it last night right they wanted to contact me in advance but they couldn't get me so they did it last night what do I think so I said the hundreds of bodies that were not buried yet they can't identify who the bodies are because they're burnt they said the burnt body can't even test for DNA they cut off the heads they cut the bodies are so destroyed you can't even the hundreds of bodies that they have in freezes they they didn't bury it how can you have a comedian crack jokes I said RAB Samson has a comment in one of his essays on the so the Egyptians are chasing after them with the weapons to to stop them from running away and they come in front of the yamu so the yamu them and behind them and they say to not enough graves in Egypt has a comment the Jews were known to be good comedians throughout all the generations because they went through so many crises the only way to survive is by making a joke out of it I agree but not they didn't bury hundreds and hundreds of of yet I thought it wasn't right I thought it wasn't right so the fell said I I have to do CH I said you did sh so you don't have to do Chua but I don't think it's right let me let me um turn to some of the positive aspects if we could use that term with this entire episode and of course people are talking about the unity clell internationally one has to admit has been incredible in trying to be brothers and sisters to our brothers and sisters in Israel uh what do you think of the and I'm looking for more than just beyond it's a wonderful thing I'm so curious about your entire impression of the initiative of soldiers studying doomi and tanks soldiers of all backgrounds insisting on putting on czes soldiers of all backgrounds making sure to put on fill in every single day it's you know the house I grew up in my father never stopped reminding us of secular Kut Sim that burnt Fillin in that era that's how much they hated Jewish ritual it is it seems like a completely different country now what did you think of all these and and the initiatives like this that keep going on the ra the Jewish people will only have a if they do CH what can it be if they don't do CH so the says will beon want to wipe out all the Jewish people men women and children so these these uh terrorists go like and they and that's called because when hon convinced aish to kill all the Jews so aish took off his sign and gave it to him and he signed the edict so the says appoints on that's more effective than all the 48 NM that we had they gave mus mus nobody listen makes they make ex they punish the Jews then we do CH other people other nationalities would throw away the whole religion if they're being oppressed they would get rid of the whole relig but the Jewish people every Jewish person has a what bat calls hidden love for we don't have it's true by the when they're born their mind is blank and any know itions that they have are developed later based on their parents or the influence from the teachers or the neighbors and so on but B it's not tular we all have and when a baby a baby knows when he does something wrong when the parents give Pat to the baby the baby knows why they giving up pet the baby knows gave PCH my impression is that the people they realize that this was mind and they they have a love towards the whole superficial attitude that they're going to burn fillan they're not going to keep mites the whole thing is atick and the real self comes out that's what the raham says when a person doesn't want to give his wife a get and the Bez presses him so R quotes the gamar but he writes it in a fancy way he says his true self wants to follow the the bz says we want you to give your wife a get so he says he doesn't want to give give that's a pseudo personality who says he does want to give his true self does want to give the get he wants to listen to the and when we beat him up and we pressure him till he says he's telling the truth his true self wants to do the mitzah my impression is that that's what's happening now and they made a it doesn't make sense but there that all of the all of the gods were sleeping everybody was sleeping sleeping it took so many hours till came and and helped the people out so the whole thing they all realized that this was an and when the baby gets patch he knows what he did wrong so they all want to they all want to do mitzah we have to follow up now we have to people follow up and continue to explain to them how to do the other Mitzvah how to be sh mitz it it's obvious how painful this is and uh how difficult it is for you to discuss some of these things which I certainly appreciate I'll try to make this the last question that that deals with the pain but I'm asking this question strictly from a standpoint we know that if if one for instance wants to give his life for someone else's life someone comes to you and asks can I ask can I be a member of the secret service where I am expected to jump in front of the president if someone tries to kill him right somebody in the shabbach who has a responsibility to protect the Prime Minister that's a serious Al I would think you know can one go ahead and make a commitment that they will take a bullet for somebody that they're you know as an assignment you know instead of them being killed as painful as it is I'm asking this strictly hierarchically is there a difference in in the halic perspective when it comes to family members we know that there are parents who oner out of instinct and many of them with with with forethought said I must protect my child I must make sure that these terrorists come after my family that I'm the one they get instead of God forbid one of my children for instance is is there a difference Hally when it comes to family when we think about uh that one's life comes first usually the didn't my life comes first but it doesn't apply this was after the terrorist activities the whole M broke out in M you have to do whatever is best for the war effort I don't I don't know if that's best for the war effort that the parent should give his life instead of the child you have to do whatever is best for the M it's a heter when you have a m you have a heter to put your soldiers life in danger you had to kill the enemy you not all to kill any human being even a non-jew so this is literally a m on my family I have it sounds like I have an obligation then or at the minimum I certainly have to save the maximum that you can save is that the best way to save is to protect the children I don't know yeah hopefully nobody will have to make that decision again um the reaction includes um some interesting uh suggestions and I I don't know if that's the right word for it um obviously anything that you say people regard as aak not just a suggestion but I I think you have to admit that that there are rabbis and communities and congregations that always that are not always is ready to make changes for instance you recommended the saying of a Malo uh I I would assume that that and I don't know if rabbis were in touch with you about this about push back they may have gotten from their communities or their synagogues or certain schs that have a certain tradition or or operate a certain way was it a big discussion with rabbis when when you suggested this or I didn't discuss it I discussed it with a small group of rabbis no but nobody had a problem with it or said to you I'm having trouble with my congregation accepting this or anything like that I thought that maybe balab may find it two taxing to say every day twice a day for an extended period of time so as it turns out I happen to speak to Rabbi has we're friendly from we were both we're both single learning in Thea next to each other so he said his saying with his love every day he says he takes over he says the he says line by line he says they prepared to say every day if the if the rabbi feels that the balab don't feel like saying maybe she cut it down to twice a week like in the days of the when it would be a Sor there was no rain there was no water today if there's no rain they already know how to desalinate the water in the ocean so it's just going to cost money but not Sak but years ago if there wouldn't rain there would be a s not as much as a war time so they would be said you got to say that's when they said and ironically and I remember last year when we had our conversation we were discussing and you mentioned why we don't say for that reason because it was such a long day already R people want to go eat yeah so it's uh it's it's a consideration when you when you impose so to speak on a congregation and then and then someone asked me and this is this conversation as we sit here is close toes and a rabbi happened to ask me last week I wonder why there isn't more of an effort to declare a fast day after all this and then of course you uh in reference to eres is coming Monday uh you again should we call it a suggestion of recommendation that we go go ahead and fast at least half a day if possible the entire day um is there are you surprised that there's not more of an effort among areas of the community to in fact in F yes we a group of rabbis sent letters to the chief rabbis they'll listen to them more than the people will listen to me we encourage them they should be go of Titus and Es all the Jews all over the world that's the only Central Authority that we have now is the chief evant we didn't hear any response from them I think it's it's not my place but if no one's doing anything so I wrote my recommendation I recommend it it's a good idea we should all we should be masana couple of technical vain talat questions um there was a discussion that should be postponed in Israel where they start saying it on Zion mares it should be postponed because we want the soldiers to be in dry conditions Etc I was wondering what you thought of that the whole reason why they postpone until when the says that everyone who came to be by foot will be able to go back home by that time and dry weather yeah so it is a consideration but for the farmers you do need the rain so I I thought on this issue I thought maybe Ina we should only say the same but in everyone should say the same having in mind that should rain for the it doesn't doesn't always rain all over it should rain for the farmers but it shouldn't rain where the soldiers needed to be Joy right um and then while we're onal for some reason every year I find myself going to Israel after Zion mares and coming back before December 4th or December 5th so and sometimes I was an oval who and I want to di for the um so if I'm diving for the Amud in Israel I assume there's no question that but say the um what what does the person who's not ding for the amadu in Israel and if they are someone like myself in that situation who already switched so to speak because I've already said it publicly from the Amud what am I doing when I get back to uh those who visit between Z and December 4th that's a dispute in the commentaries next to the quotes the dispute in recent years tried to figure out how can you satisfy the what can you do to satisfy the both opinions so the only one who came up with atile compromise I think they quote from the stypa he suggested was the brother of the he suggested that he should say because if they didn't require that you were supposed to say and you forgot and you say see here you can satisfy the both opinions by saying in fact the years ago go the U used to have a big convention every other Thanksgiving weekend the used to have every year Thanksgiving week and the you had every other year so I think the last two conventions two two big conventions that the U had on the Thanksgiving weekend were in y and Thanksgiving is in between Z and December 4th so that was what we did that was our practice that everyone said so if you're you have no choice everybody there said you have no choice when you come back it doesn't necessarily follow that one should continue saying but on the other hand there's nothing wrong with saying with pointed out that he his practices he said he had from his grandfather that all summer long in America or in Europe in Poland where Liv in Lithuania uh there was no dry season like in New York there's no dry season it rains they have the records how much all year long we don't have a dry season so the rush writes in his truis he didn't understand why we don't say sayato all year long they don't have a dry season so he was out voted all the other ra out voted him so thought he was out voted but he's right so he had to practice the whole summer long when he say same he always said so that's why um that that's a good idea when one started saying comes back to America let him continue to say the has that once you started you keep on saying has it in a different case when you bench said there was one opinion in the that the second day of in the morning by he say s he say Mas by say but then by you do everything you repeat everything that you did on the first day say so you don't say and Shak you don't say again so that we don't accept that anymore once you said he keep on saying but there is no din once you said tal you keep on saying tal but it's a good idea because we need rain anywhere in America we always need rain there is no dry season I don't even think the dbo has that y have you ever seeno it's a of 1800 Pages where he goes to every possible midig for every single day of the year I don't know if he discusses that about possibly duplicating what you've done in the days of the gar there was such an opinion was out voted it was rejected amazing it it would be impossible to function as a rabbi or communal leader without a I recognize my limitations and very often there are many challenges that are presented on our desk that we don't know where to go so we have to turn to the people who have the professional experience both in social work both in addiction both in what whatever the challenge may be so I look at my role as a conduit to get people to the place where they can be healthy that's where AUD comes in there are so many different counselors therapists individuals who are willing to help you no matter what time of day or night it is across the spectrum that amudam has helped me on so many different varied issues because they recognize they have one job their job is to help every Jew anywhere on the face of the [Music] Earth uh you get calls from all around the world of course I'm wondering if anybody contacted you about bringing their son or daughter back from their Yeshiva or seminary year in Israel no I was visiting with my son and WME on the last days of yan on chabis on chabis there was a a girl who was not in seminary she was visiting in erel and the when they heard what happened so the family wanted want everyone to come back right away because there's a Sak if you're in Yesa if you're all of the seminaries most of them are in the center of the country there was no the war wasn't over there that wasn't it was by the border that the trouble was so I had a we had a call that girl on the phone on shabas to insist that she should come back with the rest of the family not going to be able to take care of the rest of the family was coming back on the first plane on chabas and the girl was going to be by herself so she wasn't going to know how to take care of herself she a teenage girl so we had a call her around shabas to convince her that she has to come back on the next plane wow um last year we had a whole conversation about disposable income and how you wish more people would ask you shilas about stucka and where to give and how to give in the war situation how do we evaluate it taking into account now the support that we must give to to causes in Israel uh we know traditionally local causes local community has a pre has a precedence when it comes TOA uh does that rule still apply when there's so many people in need our brothers and sisters in Israel uh and in general what can we say about the God should someone who's mocked to give Meer that's the requirement should they be giving more because it's a time of danger what guidelines do you think people should use when it comes to stucka during these times I think we certainly should give more uh the din is everyone should try to give my have taken afford it some people can't afford it we should try to give one10 and then the Ron Place recommends that you should give uh one5 one place he recommends one10 one place means if if there's a greater need uh T points out that if you make more money you're allowed to give more than more than one5 I give way more than one5 of my income and now giving even more than that I give more and the local versus Israel discussion we give to the local also but it's not the usually it should be 2/3 and one3 should give to the local isas on the local sh where you D and you can't say all the shs in New York is the shs were i d in the which my my wife uses I used to use or or the isas where my grandchildren go now my children want my grandchildren now so that's on the they don't have to be in my city my children some of my children in btim other my grandchild children learning isas and that's all all called on theas that you use that your grandchildren use those so we give them we give them uh precedent so usually give up until 2/3 to the local and one3 for the rest now we should continue giving for the local they they also need money but we should give more to the ter Isel those who have should give more uh a couple of um you know what before I get to some of more triv things this is a situation that I was made aware of which I'm so curious to ask you about um there's now one or even more at this point organizations that coordinate kidney donation um specifically targeted for the Jewish Community to be you know as giving as possible when it comes to you know having discovered that one is a match for somebody who needs it and somebody was informed that they are a match uh and that they potentially could be a match for others as well and they meaning the potential donor said this is just not a good time of year for me to take off from work and do this can can my role maybe for somebody else be postponed a few months now and of course they have had this problem in the organ not problem they've had this situation you know many many times so they know how to deal with it but I'm curious when one has the potential to go ahead and essentially save the life we know what kidney doation means and how serious it is do they in fact have a requirement to drop everything even if income and other considerations are at stake or can they in fact postpone it you know with the likelihood that someone else down the road is going to be a match them they'll be able to help someone else interesting question I don't know you have to think about that I think strictly speaking even if I'm a match I'm not obligated to give my kidney it's a it's a it's highly recommended F speaking and not obligated but once the person made up his mind that he is going to do it how much is he going to lose already how much is he going to lose from his salary I would think that he should once he made up his mind that he that he is prepared to give the kidney so he should give it even if it's going to involve the little loss of money okay now some of the trivial things about our tradition that you know I'm always curious about um this minig of staying up all night the second night of sh was that a thing when you were younger or is this something that's really developed over the last few years I don't remember ever staying up but my sons learned in Baltimore Yeshiva they said they the practices that they do stay up the second night likely something that developed over the years or it it may have existed 100 years ago just in other Yas and other communities I'm not familiar I never heard it doesn't drive you as crazy as it drives me and I guess it can't be a problem with BOS it's a nice minute right okay uh also we're around the time of Kaneka and the I mean so many have made the effort in our community over the last decades to it to um in to to recommend um uh fire safety regulations and practices Etc uh it has become I don't want to say standard but much more of a practice that if someone has to be somewhere during the night of during one of the nights of Kaneka they will go ahead and light khek they'll make sure that the candles burn for the minimum amount of time and then they'll blow out the candles and I'm wondering is that and and I'm sure that just like for me when I do this I'm sure many other people are are somewhat disturbed by it who wants to blow out the kanaka candles you know it it was our enemy for the years who wanted to extinguish the khaka candles you know we ourselves should blow out candles so I'm wondering is there a slight is there legitimacy to that feeling or literally once it's burned for the appropriate amount of time it blowing them out is as if they went out up by themselves I'm pretty sure the says after the amount of time it burned enough you permitted it's okay to blow it out but the question is how much is the amount of time that's necessary so some P can say that if you live in New York and people are walking in the streets all night long has to burn all night long not just half an hour after kn approximately a half an hour but if you live in New York if you live in Manhattan the people walking around yeah yeah they say used to live across the street from a theater uh from a movie theater and the people used to come out from the movie theater later at night so he was careful to have his candles burning from from until after they would come out from the movie and if you live in Manhattan the people roaming the streets throngs of people roaming the streets all night long depends where you live if you live in a community where everybody goes to sleep so then there from a few centuries ago he has a separate safe on he learns like that like gra learn if people are roaming the street all night long it has to burn all night long so at the minimum blowing them out early meaning before they would naturally go out could be a real problem yeah you know yeah because at the minimum you want them to at least burn the you know until they go out um but again I don't have to tell you that we discussed this last year also you know fire safety is essential obviously and so important and everyone's got to be so careful Etc uh and even shabas what's the best recommendation for shabas candles so a couple's in there their home they're going to be going out to to eat somewhere um you know many women light large candal laas that they would literally be leaving you know lit as they go to uh uh to this is it better to light at the home of the person you're eating by is it better to just take two candles and not you know seven or eight candles and maybe put them in the sink and you know light a couple of tea lights and and and do the minimum that way what what's the best procedure when when you are legitimately concerned about leaving fire burning I think if going a in the place where they're eating they're not in fulfillment of the has to be in your home so which is my home so if there's one place he eating and one place he sleeping so if they're both equal then the place where you eat wins but over here it's not equal because I'm just eating by them once a year or twice a year and I'm sleeping in my own apartment I sleep all the time that's Kaba one is kab one is AR so the one that's Kaba wins I would think that your second suggestion makes more sense if you're not home anyway so what are you going to light for each child and each grandchild so just like two candles but put it in a safe place but you have the candles you have to be able to get benefit from the candles when you come home so um if the candles are going to be out by the time you come home you can't say bro on the candles the most of the P were of the opinion that say El bulbs if it's incandescent if it has a filament now they don't make them anymore with filaments now it's led many hold you can't beu with LED only with a filament when you heat metal till it glows the ramam says that that's that's called a when he was in university in Berlin his parents moved to America so he couldn't talk and learning with his father he couldn't talk on a telephone it would cost a fortune so he used to go every so often he would take the train to VNA to talk learning with r so he said he remembered rer had a with the Maham the Maham was a great Po in Galia in the early 1900s his opinion was that turning on electric bulb on chabas is only prohibited M because uh electric bulbs didn't exist in the days of the Mish it's only a if it was in the Mish then it's if it if it existed in the days of the Mish it's represented by what was in the mishkan if it's a to then it'll be a told but if it didn't exist in the days of the Mish then it's not even a told can only be disagreed and to demonstrate that he holds that it's so he would make electric bulb told us that others printed that also he would be Mah to demonstrate that he held that that it's so so most of the P of the doesn't agree but most of the major pum in Europe before the war were of the opinion that you can say the on electric bulbs so that's we should really do that when that's and many others recommended the then is when you light n shabas the room has to be dark so usually by us the lights are burning all day long always said you have to turn out the light light light the candles then turn on all the lights and then say the BR the BR goes on everything on the candles and on the electric bulb and then even if the candles go up but the electric bulb is still on but you have to make sure you have an electric bulb that has a filament you have to buy some of the old time the old bulbs great suggestion I'm just thinking that we have one of those right over where my wife lied so I guess that would work yeah um you remember the first night of sukus we all turn to you for direction because we were expecting a tremendous amount of rain yeah someone suggested to me why can't we make kidish especially if the Suka is still you know really completely um uncomfortable because of how wet it is and because you know it's still dripping from the and of course in some places it was still raining make Kish at home have a suda and then when it stops raining and things start getting cleaned up in the Suka late at night the first night go and and wash and make hotzi and have a suda does that suggestion work at all or one must one wait till the last minute to make the first Kish to make the orig you know the actual Kish because there was a minority opinion that we really don't accept we have respect have a dispute so we have respect for the other opinion even though we don't P like that so because it was such a minority opinion that you're obligated to make Kish the first night and eat in the Suk even if it's raining so that's why we want to do it as soon as possible so that's why we don't follow that recommendation we don't follow that recommendation we should have the meal at home and then when it stops raining later go you're not supposed to eat before you do a Mitzvah so here the Mitzvah is to eat in the Suka the first night to eat make eat the so we're going to eat sa first in the house and then we're going to eat theka later well then later make a right yeah wow we should do it now like that we should we should make kidish in the rain and have a Kaz and then finish eating the house and then when it stops raining later we have to go backas again yeah right that's an idea years ago the practice was when it was in days of the in the early after 1600s when it would be raining the first night they would say leas in the Rain the lat poim don't follow that opinion we really don't hold like that opinion I think there some am I wrong that there some who would like make I don't know but that in recent years nobody do most people don't do like that right and also if uh if somebody I mean this was actuallya someone said that the only place and a little bit complicated but it happens to be true I know the place the only place where they could eat on Sim Tor is in their Suka right uh that's because they have a large crowd it's a porch Etc but they dafa don't do it and they they arrange for a different place to eat they don't want to look like bosf and I said to them I said if one does not have kav to you know to sit in the for MIT nonetheless it could be B if you sit there and eat on was wondering about your thoughts on that no the gar said that it's not a violation about this but you should do whatever you can to demonstrate that you're not in violation of Al so if you can put the the schlock on top so put the schlock on tell everybody the no adjustment could be made uh it's a problem no the gamar says you can always have when you have a pot of soup and you serve the soup so you're supposed to take the Soup pot out of the Suka doesn't belong in the sukka so if it's and you want to demonstrate that it's not Su so you leave you leave the pot and you leave the dirty plates you're not allowed to leave the dirty plates in the Suka after you finish eating the used cups you may leave in the Suka but the dirty plates he supposed to take out they leave the dirty plates in the Suka to demonstrate that it's not sucus says that says that finally Reby um had an interesting experience a couple of weeks ago in Israel uh three soldiers boys from the Lebanese front came straight to the studio where I was broadcasting from and I had an opportunity to speak to them which of course was very inspiring I don't know have to tell you uh they're to be admired uh and I and I stood when they walked in and I said I said to my audience I said it's the first time in 15 years the last time I stood during a broadcast was when my father walked into the studio it's the first first time and I'm wondering do you think there is a an obligation to stand for IDF Soldiers the Mish says when the pilgrims would be bringing the to the the pilgrims were not learned people but they're going to do a Mitzvah so one who's on his way to do a Mitzvah you stand up so it says the B comments on that M that when they bring the baby in for the bris everybody stay stands up we're not standing up out of respect for the baby he didn't do anything in his life yet he's standing up out of respect for the Kata who's bringing the baby to do a Mitzvah when thead brings in a dead body so we don't stand up for the dead person we never stood up while he was alive why should we stand up for him we're standing up out of respect for the so we have we should stand up and then the says when the gab walks around with the pushka he's getting every want to give we should stand up at of respect for the Gabi we should stand up for these people they're they're doing Mitzvah they're protecting all of us where the next time we meet I hope there's true Shalom and amen thank you so much very [Music] good