Transcript
Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
in fact somebody asked me what's the
difference the men and women cabbalistic
Lee I said men are waffles women are
spaghetti very deep cappella
do you never eat a waffle waffles every
waffle is self-contained it has four
walls around it when you pour the maple
syrup into the waffle you make sure it
doesn't go over the wall and stays
within this square of the wall that's
men women are spaghetti there's no one
piece of spaghetti every strand of pasta
is intertwined and interconnected with
hundreds of other pieces of pasta our
brain is compartmentalized in hundreds
of filing cabinets we men have a filing
cabinet called a car the house the wife
the mother-in-law the children the job
the therapist
everything has a separate filing cabinet
and when we have to pay a bill we open
up that filing Emily we make sure it
doesn't touch any other file we take out
the paper usually we don't do anything
we put it back quietly we close the
drawing we make sure nothing else gets
disturbed and in the middle of our brain
we have a huge filing cabinet the
biggest one with a big sign and it says
on it nothing and we love hanging out in
that space in fact most of us meant if
we wouldn't have to make a living we
would hang out in that filing cabinet
called nothing so when you ask your
husband what are you feeling
and he looks at you and he says nothing
and there's no answer that drives women
as crazy as the answer nothing they
can't believe it
they think you have another relationship
with somebody they think you are hiding
everything no women we feel nothing
in fact after this lecture you can ask
your husband so how was it and he's
going to look at you how was walks the
lecture was about you
oh here she goes
he doesn't know me how was it Oh his
jokes were not too bad
most of them I knew but a woman there's
no nothing
her brain is like the World Wide Web
Microsoft Windows with every possible
window open and the tab is switching
back and forth every moment like
spaghetti and the traffic of the World
Wide Web there are hundreds of millions
of neurons consciously interacting at
every single moment and he's like
clueless which is why you'll see the
following scene he comes on one night
and he decides tonight he's gonna be a
good husband so after dinner you sit
down with him on the couch and he looks
you in the eyes and he says honey you
want to share with me how your day was
you're like wow what a guy
who's been listening to Rabbi wise
lectures he's been working on himself
Emmet has been getting to him he's
working he's working on his Shalom by it
it's so beautiful so you start sharing
with him your day and of course you
begin with the fact that the cleaners
ruined is $600 dress and he opens up the
filing cabinet called cleaner
and it's a it's a it's a hard process
man you could see on his brain just take
it out and take out the file and check
off okay the cleaners Christ is $600
from the cleaners you shift immediately
to the fact that you don't like your job
so now he opens up the filing cabinet
called a job and then you move on to the
fact that your sister and one salted you
at her son's Bar Mitzvah and then the
fact that the Sheva brachot you weren't
invited and then that his mother is
really obnoxious to you from there you
discuss the fact that you don't have
good cleaning help and then of course
you go to the kids he's not happy in
third grade the principal is not nice
this teacher doesn't know what he's
doing there you go to the car then you
go to the paper you have to finish you
discuss the leak in the bathroom summer
plans your own mother your own sister
the upcoming BAS Mitzvah it's now 2
minutes and 10 seconds you have already
explored 48 happens and this is what
he's doing he's opening and closing
filing cabinets he went from the
cleaners to the bathroom to the cleaning
lady to your mother
he assists them with about Mitzvah to
the BAS Mitzvah to the hooker to your
job to your paper to your car to the
swimming pool to the summer to the camp
to the crisis of school it's four
minutes now 397 topics have been
explored and you're just beginning
this poor guy for the last four minutes
has been opening and closing filing
cabinets and now remember nothing can
touch anything else so he takes it out
it's mummeries a very very heavy game
now after four minutes as you're about
to begin topic 400 he is about to go
crazy
the logical choice for him at this
moment the most logical thing is suicide
there's a problem he loves you and he
doesn't want you should be a widow so
that's not an option so he does the
second - the best option under these
trying circumstances and that is he
falls asleep and within 20 seconds
within 20 seconds he's snoring on the
top of his lungs and you're stone-faced
you were just having this whole romantic
experience and this guy just fell asleep
on you you are so hurt little do you
know that the snoring is an expression
of his deepest love because the only
other option was to him for him to shoot
himself and the only reason he didn't is
because he loves you so much
so if you could look at the snoring and
say what especially the love of my life
my dearest partner
you're good you've just experienced
another Torah class brought to you like
Torah anytime calm
