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you can have for
example a
wedding that is
not even if everybody there is
dressed from top to
bottom and there are walls from the
entrance all the way to the back of the
hall separating men and women and you
can come
home and if somebody asked you say how
was the wedding it was very very nice
but it was
not so you're thinking not what was
going on there I know everything was
kosher but it was
not how can a kosher wedding be not what
does that mean
even it means very
simple that always goes to what's
happening and figures out where is the
focus you see imagine you had a
wedding and during this wedding
they had concerts going on they had five
six rooms of
concerts this singer that singer you
like it this way they have another one
they have every kind of great singer
playing in each room people are going in
they're going crazy the bands 10 piece
band 20 piece band the food they flew in
chef from all over the world the top
chef from China from Japan from Vietnam
from who knows
where and they have it all each
section people are eating and they're
passing out from the
food the flowers my goodness the flowers
every
color every kind every country is
represented what a scene
gorgeous that wedding is not
sen and if you tell me why you don't
like nice things Rabbi what's the
problem what's wrong with flowers you
don't like flowers you don't like music
you don't like to
eat what is the purpose of a
wedding the wedding has one purpose it
sometimes can get
confused and people get frustrated for
everything that doesn't really matter
matter what really matters is one thing
and one thing only there's nothing else
that
matters the wedding is not for the
Father of the Bride and not for the
mother it's not for the father of the
hadan not for his mother it's not for
the grandparent it's not for the
guests the wedding has one goal there's
a goal to a wedding there's a purpose to
it the goal is that you have a couple
that's about to start their life and
life in marriage is complicated as
anyone in marriage knows it is
complicated and we need this couple to
start
strong we need them to start with their
friends it should be happiness in the
air it should be good words being
exchanged Muk we love you beautiful
can't wait to come to your
wedding that the goal of that night is
is that by the time the night ends and
the week ends they should feel so
special and so
happy that the beginning of their
marriage should go off in a very strong
way that is the only purpose of a
wedding there is no other
purpose the fellow that came back from
that wedding they asked him how was it
oh he says it's gorgeous you have no
idea like what he says you know the
music the flowers the food the
people tell me how is
Thea he oh I forgot to see
Thea
gosh forgot
the and you're laughing and you think
it's exaggerated I don't think it's
exaggerated I mean they may see the not
that
important when you bring people's
focus on flowers and carpets and food
and
music so what essentially you've done is
you focus their attention on all of that
and the most important part
heart which is the feelings of the for
themselves for who they
are not for their money or for their
families when you didn't give them the
focus for them and for what's important
about
them you failed in that wedding that's a
wedding that's called a
failure because not
wedding because by definition
means to cover up that Which is less
important so that you can
highlight that which is most
important
