Hasidic Roots to Healthcare Heights w/ Faygee Morgenshtern #womeninbusiness #jewishpodcast #growth

I make a very big deal about my birthday my friends know it like if I don't get a text from you on my birthday you're off my list you're off my list like it's the one thing that like sorry what when's your birthday again yeah you know when my birthday is do you not of course of course it's July 17th right Michael you don't know birday idea when your birthday is that's it we're not friends anymore I don't know we have to we have to have a discussion about I built an entire company off of relationships I took the time to get to know and really understand and appreciate them and respect them and I was able to convince them to be willing to work for facilities that we were servicing and so I think that had I been a guy I probably could have not built the same [Music] relationships none of your business oi none of your business Michael it's the none of your business podcast hosted by Michael anoshi welcome back everybody to another amazing episode of the none of your business podcast bushy today is a very very special day a rainy day very rainy the whole week's been rainy rain is Special by the way for many many reasons you know that right so I actually like the rain I thought about it the other day when it was raining I'm like what do you like to do when it rains stay stay indoors watch a movie yeah read a book read a book good there are a lot of things that you could do in the rain that are enjoyable to do in the rain watch your plant grow yeah uh get your baseball game cancelled feels like aish thing to say you know like oh it's going to grow the fruits and blah blah blah like I think it's just a more of a enjoying everything that life has to offer and um that's the way I try to look at it now we are back with another amazing episode and I'm excited today because we have my very good friend fagy Morganstern here with us oh and uh fagy we'll get to you in a minute but first I just want to remind everyone that the noneof your business podcast is proudly sponsored by Prim Source thank you for all our partners and Associates and really our entire Prim Source family for being behind this wonderful objective of you know reaching out to our audience and speaking about things that you know we want to grow with uh please don't forget to like follow And subscribe I must mention it every time because we need your help and uh in order for us to get our voice out there we need your help in liking and following and subscribing fagie and I have been to probably over a dozen trade shows in the past two years alone and um I think I met you through PPE was it right yeah and when I say PPE it really triggers something for everyone right you say PPE and you'll be like what PP me PP you who who's right I heard that from a friend of mine uh when we were involved in the world of pp but you say the word covid and it triggers right you for certain people certain things you say the word PPE and then it also triggers so fagy we've spent a lot of time together during that crisis and uh one thing I remember is we were helping people and that was our main objective and that was something that I think resonates with who you are as a person and I'm excited to get to know you and um oi I don't think you know fagy as well as I do no certainly not but I know fagy a little bit we've crossed paths many times I've seen her at trade shows as well and I just learned something for the first time I did not know that you two only met during PPE times during Co I thought you had a relationship way past that I know right it was like we connected so well our Cy was right there yeah yeah you guys really have a nice Synergy between you two and uh while your relationship was fast-tracked in in only 3 years this is like to me I thought it was a dynamic going on for like a dozen years at least yeah know it feels that way um and it really is because our energies collided immediately we both wanted to help as many people as possible during PPE yeah I really L that I think that what we shared in common and the reason one of the reasons why we were so successful over the process of doing this is that we put people first and we didn't care about making money we cared about helping people it was really true like when we first started talking it was like we just just need to get them what they need that's all like and that's really what mattered and it was so enjoyable to be able to spend that time with you the way we had we had shooed like all the time during that time and it was like as if we knew each other for forever but it really we knew each other for a couple weeks by the time you saw us well and for the record I actually cared a lot about the money um I just want to be straight up now I certainly felt good that I was also helping people at the same time but my motive was purely the green and I think a lot of people as well okay okay there was a lot of people taking advantage of the situation that was going on in Co in many different ways a lot of people were really taking advantage I tried not to do that I tried not to be excessive but you know it was an opportunity for a lot of people to make money a lot of people lost money a lot of people lost jobs a lot of people lost opportunities Co was not a pretty site for I want to say most of America for most of America but there were a lot of winners in CO as well there were a lot of winners typically in any type of situation whether it's a tragedy whether you know it's a a world event a Countrywide event they're always going to be winners and losers yeah I mean you lived in mzy back then yeah right and then um I guess you made enough money to bounce tell us about that experience I mean you had a lot going on during PPE anything that you want to share no it was a good to experience to have something happen to that extent in where you know I used my experience really and my connections to really help be able to do something and where it was very out of box it was really pure luck to have done certain things at the timing that we decided to do that and it worked out well for us you know I got to do it with my husband I never get to work with him so it was like a short stint of three months in where we got to collaborate in a way that's different than what our normal days look like and it was really exhilarating in a certain sense you know it actually you know paid the bills right and that's a big portion of what we did you know we have five kids so it was important to make sure that we had an income that made sense and it was enjoyable to have connected with people the way we had during that time more than anything else like I feel like I created certain type of relationships with people during that time and it was like you were able to see the good of people but you also got to see the greed of people like people became greedy really quickly and some of the people that really lost a lot of money were people that turned greedy in where they saw that there was room for them to make more money on certain things and charge more money and then all of a sudden overnight it was like they ordered the K9 and what happened M right they got stuck with it do you remember that whole I remember one thing that we did by the way is every day at the end of the day we would record oh yeah we how the day was and we have so many videos oh my God I would just pull out my camera and be like okay we're recording this for the future because we're going to look back at this and just have so much fun watching it and every once in a while I'll send some to Michael I'll be like remember this day I did not know that you have recordings uh because Michael you also were extreme extremely dialed in during you couldn't talk to you like you were in your own little world you were busy non-stop wait do you still have the notebook I have the notebook I remember the notebooks and I even have the email many notebooks yeah I even have the email from the White House are you serious yep that uh we had a conference call with them do you remember the house you rented it was just like you set up shop like legit I set up show up to this address stop showing up at my house like this is where we're going the best part about it was I rented a house a few blocks away from me and I uh thank God had the the ability to employ um I think over a dozen people and whether we made money or not every week they got a paycheck and it was pretty amazing uh we had a department for gloves a department for masks a department for international and it was a great experience but one of the best experiences and I think the reason why we connected so much is that there was a genius moment that occurred with both of us and I'm going to remind you now what it was is when there was a lack of Staffing this goes back to the root of fagia what she does for a living uh some people by call you the agency Mafia I've heard of people call you Staffing uh Warrior you're you're like hear that title very well just saying you wear everything very well by the way look at that jewelry that's amazing how much are you worth today by the way just what you're wearing good down payment house is that not weighing you down like you know when you're walking do you feel that that pressure no not at all it makes me feel like I did something right you know but I'm curious why did you decide to like not add a six to one like what was your limit that you decide all right he talking about the talking about the bracelet yeah she's got so many bracelet she's got five bracelets on one hand she's got got to even things out so there's got to be some sort of like balance cool there's a rhyme in a reason I like that idea by the way it does the opposite of weighing her down it actually lifts her up yeah it reminds me of everything I've already accomplished and what I want to still do that's amazing I feel like gold in general does that to us that's a very interesting ring what is that this is a panther oh it's a panther wow what made you get that ring specifically it's different definitely the three different gos and like they sort of did a process with it and where it ends up camouflaging it oh wow and it's a really heavy piece you should feel it it's a really cool piece it's it's definitely it's definitely a down payment it's a really cool piece prob yeah they only created a certain supply of this and only for the US market so it wasn't readily available internationally and because of so few people having it it's why I wanted it and for all the ziv fans out there what watch are you wearing I'm wearing a Rolex day date with chocolate dial is that what they're called beautiful it's absolutely beautiful and a diamond bezel speaking of beautiful so we were in a situation where there was a friend of mine who had a challenge and that is that there were no events happening in the entire world there's no events happening right so he had waiter services and those waiters were trained under him for over a decade and they were committed we're talking about over a hundred waiters that had no jobs and at the same time we're talking to each other about the challenges and the pain points that nursing homes and assistant living homes were having that they didn't have anyone to care for residents they were lack of Staffing we got these waiters certified we pitched open a tent did you know this I not we pitched a tent and we had waiters come in every day and fagy herself trained them and got them authorized to be as caregiver temporary caregivers in nursing homes we together were responsible for the the placement of over 100 staff in nursing homes throughout our area yeah it was insane because it was something that the regulations allowed for them to not have the standard experience that they needed or training it allowed them to take a certain test and a course and it allowed us to be able to help support facilities locally in a way that was very outside the box and it was kind of cool yeah it was really interesting to be able to do that yeah thinking like you took a situation that was very dire and you turned it around into a you actually gave these people potentially a new career path now maybe you know they'll take this seriously and some stayed I actually know St of course course yeah yeah and uh now they can actually go maybe and and increase their degree and try to become even certified you know and this is amazing wow wonderful you know what's great I just did a LinkedIn live today talking about sales and I was on with someone named Nathan from aoy and he is their director of sales he's the strategy behind all their sales and what he said to me was if you're only going to do 10 phone calls a day that you're giving yourself a lot of time in between each one of those calls for anxiety right so you know you're going to make cold calls today but you're going to say okay I'm going to call these 10 people today and what you're doing is you're filling up your schedule with just so few so in between each call your anxiety is kicking in and I felt like during PPE during that world the reason why I had less anxiety while the world was sharing their common theme of anxiety is because we were just having hundreds and hundreds of people that we were helping throughout the day and we didn't let a minute go by without saying okay let's help the next person of course we made money through the process but there was so much going on like yeah we probably needed to be reminded to be showered at some point some of the days because it was like literally we spent what 14 16 hour days sometime and like you had to remind me like okay I think it's time for you to go home you know yeah we could do an entire uh episode just about the PPE process and cod and everybody at PPE time was either buying or selling like everybody that we knew anybody like people that had no relev to healthare know right that was the CRA they were selling something they were selling a mask they were selling you know the k95 all of a sudden they knew all the guidelines and they everybody was CBC experts all of a sudden they knew all the protocols and everybody was buying and selling and and negotiating and transacting and then you find out it's a 14-year-old exactly in a WhatsApp chat like what's going on here yeah yeah and also everybody were you know Millionaires and you know they had endless amounts of funds to you know invest and to buy you know crazy amount of stock piles and by the way a lot of people got left holding the bag because of it they didn't exactly know what they were doing the proof of funds that were going WR remember the I that one of the things that made us successful is that the first second I would pick up the phone my my instant reaction would be is two questions number one is are you a broker and number two is do you have the goods on site right those are those were the two things that made us different is because we were dealing with things that hospitals needed product and anyone promises that it was coming next week from China yeah right um so that that was a very fascinating exp remember how we had the gowns show up and we would try them on see like we'd have to have them pass through tests right ourselves we you understand we had a lab internally yeah we were the expert you know who really dropped the ball during this time our government the government did such a poor job in managing this crisis when it came to PPE you saw first of all how underprepared they were they were clearly caught off guard um they did not have enough emergency stockpiles Anywhere But even without emergency stock they didn't Galvanize quick enough they didn't get the Cavalry going like they were almost like deer in headlights is what they were they were confused they basically had to rely on the private sector to get things going and it's only because of the private sector that we survived during that time and that we were able to get things you know circulated and Supply was made available and it's just a scary thing to think about that you can ultimately rely on the government like you cannot rely on them when when you know blank hits the fan uh are you going to like trust yourself and your friends and the people immediately you know around you or are you going to trust your local government the federal government absolutely not what I took away from this is that every man for themselves at the end of the day everybody's got to fend for themselves and everybody's got to have a plan that's where I'm a big fan of small government we don't need the big government we need them just to manage what we need them to do right the basics you know they got to collect taxes we got to circulate the money for social programs I get it but limit it very limited because at the end of the day they don't do as much for us I have to tell you I when while you're speaking I'm thinking to myself even your closest of friends you have to fend for yourself if push comes to shove at the end of the day and you're underwater and you have a friend of yours and you're both drowning God forbid you need to step on him to get up and he's going to need to step on you to get up and it's a fight till the death literally so it's like I feel like that's what everyone went through through that process a feeling you really have to fend for yourself you have to make decisions do I get shots do I give my children shots do I do I have valid ID cards I mean that was that was insane like to have the immunization cards to go anywhere think about the grocery stores in regards to like people hoarding the way they have like people were really fending just for themselves and not for others what do you do about protecting yourself in your house you know you I've learned so much about you over the past few years I feel like I don't know enough about your personal life which I want understand more like you you have a family of five kids which I know I've met your kids of course I've been to your house beautiful house by the way how much you paying taxes again oh she enough uh Franklin Lake uh Township I think is what it's called right is called Franklin Lakes New Jersey yeah it's a beautiful area is that like right off the Palisades no no no no nothing to do with the Palisades nothing to do with Muny but I was just thinking like we're like 30 minutes from mun what are you doing at home to protect your family from another potential God forbid catastrophe well first I have space right now that's the one thing we didn't have in the old house and I'm like if anything was to H it's why I moved I was like God forbid they shut us down again like how am I going to survive in my old apartment like that it would have not worked it was insane it was like so you live in an apartment prior I lived in a house it was a much smaller house it was literally probably a third the size of this house and we had twins right before covid we had two nannies at the time so think about how many heads in the same household at the same time they hadn't left the entire time when Co started for the first 6 months nobody left the house we were telling them if they left they weren't allowed to come back and so they just stayed so literally from March through almost the end of the year having two other heads above you like that are just sitting there all the time two new babies in the house there was just so much going on that like it just felt like the house was so claustrophobic I was like we have to move God for they that you have the the space now but tell us back up tell us you know where were you born where Were You Raised where did you spend most of your childhood life where Were You Raised I don't even know this how do you not know this was it B Park yes of course instead of guessing let's find out yes of course well fgy tell us your background please yes I grew up as aish girl in B Park stop it yes stop it serious I still I'm pretending to be surprised I knew that but if somebody would meet you for the first time never know they would be shocked yes I agree Because by the way you carry yourself very very well in the sense that you're not I'm not I'm not sure if you're trying to disguise it or not but the fact is somebody talks to you for a few minutes you can't you you would be very surprised to hear that you grew up you don't have an accent you don't hear it in your voice um obviously in your demeanor like it's very interesting that you've clearly moved into the next phase that's a compliment yeah and I take a lot of Pride on like having gotten to that stage in where I wasn't that Rebel that like okay I'm upset about stuff that happened it was more so experiences that got me to the stage in where I have to grow up and become me and it can't just be me based on the version my mom or my siblings want me to be it has to be me for who I want to be good for you so where was where did you grow up I grew up in bar Park I went school like I literally went to school my entire life like until I got married I got married right out of school I was the first graduate to get was your husband also from aish family my ex-husband was from a first husband okay yeah so we were two clish people getting married with each other uh I was married nine years the first time uh I've since remarried have an amazing husband we've got kids together and yeah I feel like I've come like a whole long way from where I started but I'm very close to my family and they've accepted me for who I am but I am the Black Sheep I am very different than they are but it took time for them to learn to accept who I've become and when was that at what point in your life did it change for you that you realized I don't want this life I want something else like where were you at that point how old were you and what triggered it's a great question like what you said earlier like that Revelation yeah when did you really know that this is what I want to do when I'm changing things yeah over the course of my first marriage is when like things were going a certain way and I'm like I stopped believing and not believing had me feel feel like I need to believe in something else I need to believe in myself first more than anything else and so I had to start figuring out what I believed in what I liked what I enjoyed you know what it is that I wanted to do for my kids and what I wanted to represent myself for them more importantly than anybody else and really I was like this cish lifestyle isn't me may have not been me for a long time but I kept like wearing the Garb and outside like we were living this religious lifestyle but internally at the house my ex-husband was never religious he would watch Friday night WWE every single week this was something that went on for years but he wore the GARP so behind closed doors nobody would know right and so you know when I started changing how I looked my parents were very much like you must be wrong because you're changing and he's still wearing his hedish clothes so whatever you're the problem that I must be you know the issue so it took a while it took two years for my mom to come around and learn to accept who I've become and you know I hadn't talked to the family for 2 years like as I was going through that divorce process because they didn't agree with it they felt that it was wrong and my siblings fell in line with it because it's hard to have a voice when your parents are specifically adamant that I'm wrong they're right and that's how it's going to be yeah they were judging you and they expected you conform to what they want wasn't about what you wanted you were an adult already at that point it sounds like world will see right so it's not about what they feel like is right or wrong more so what their friends and their colleagues and their shame they ref the shame yeah and I would be the first one that like it's wrong to get divorce is that what you're saying cuz for my mom and her generation it was very much like that like how it created a certain name that like inflicted shame on the family and she didn't want that she's like suck it up make it work and that's it we all do that like why why are you different why do you need to leave why like who said it's okay you know you want to be different that's why that's not cool like you got to do this for your kids and you've got like all this going on why do you feel like you have to do that I only had one sibling that said you know whatever you you decide to do I'm backing you you know and really it helped you know motivate me to continue on the path that I started but it was scary it almost like was very intimidating to like want to continue to move forward because it was like it's almost they were incentivizing me to stay in where I'm at because that fear of having to do this on your own and for two years it was my sister and my really close friends and the people I worked with that really made the difference of me feeling like got my support system regardless about anybody else this is how I'm going to do it and we're going to continue on that and it worked out great you know it really you know overall it had changed the relationship that I had with my siblings over time uh my husband is actually the one that helped re-engage the relationship with my mom and his mom died when when he was 12 so for him it was important that like your mom's still alive I want anything in the world to at least just be able to tell her something right and so like your mom's still alive let's let's at least make sure she knows how you feel and so he really was was the one that made that relationship you know evolve into where she's very respectful you know we've got a very different relationship now I am who I am I'm not going to change for anybody anymore but most importantly that fear that I had for my mom had changed right and so as a kid I was so fearful about becoming who I am because what will my mom say or she's going to yell at me or she's not going to let he my mom was those moms that would like throw out stuff I bought because she didn't agree with it and like i' laugh because back in the day it was like a long denim skirt if only she just like wanted me to still wear that denim skirt now more than I'm I currently wear right but it was like I was so fearful of everything so I ended up doing things I didn't agree to because I was scared of what she'll say you know versus once I was able to do that without her for two years I'm like I could do anything at this point I don't need to worry about you know her approval anymore I don't need to worry about anything and it really was a game changer in in regards to who I was able to become based on that as a friend I have to tell you I'm super proud of you for what you I mean look at you you turn that emotional weight into gold weight and you do it so beautifully I'm curious what the transition was like for you from a financial standpoint meaning part of the fear is that you're you don't want to do what you want to do because you're scared you don't have the financial capacity so when did you figure that part out that you have a skill that you that that you can make money on like how is that transition for you so the one thing that I get very passionate about is things that I do that I enjoy I get very passionate about it and I end up wanting to learn as much as I can about that and I basically worked for this company um got to have a really close relationship with my boss really you know it it was like being in the right place at the right time and different scenarios happening which allowed me to continue to grow so I started I learned how to like verify a time sheet it was a home care company and everything else I really learned from like just watching how people were doing it asking questions and I you know was upgraded to the director of operations in a very short amount of time and I really got to know everything about home care every single step of that process and I worked that company for 10 years before I left and it was amazing because I was the bread winner it allowed me to feel much more comfortable about I'm supporting him I I could for sure comfortably support myself without him on my books too right so like for me it was easier than most other women out there you know that maybe don't have that um financial asset to themselves and where it's more so you know maybe they have to have a two income in order to make it work or they're the stay-at-home mom it makes it really difficult to be able to have that opportunity to just say you know what that's it I'm going to do this and I'll never forget the day I like it was in December I had a holiday party for work and that's the day that he got served um and that face was like the one thing that like kept me going like I knew I did the right thing when I saw what he got he knew he was wrong you know wouldn't admit it OB obviously back then but it was like my first first step to freedom in a way that I couldn't even explain it was like the best Christmas gift I could have ever asked for you know like it was just that amazing or kanah gift or Hanukkah gift you know Han Miracle when you say served you mean the divorce papers yeah the divorce papers it was like was he blindsided by it or yeah because he never expected it you know I was the type of wife that kept my mouth fully shut at all times I never show emotions I left it to myself I was like he kept saying things and it was like I was the punching bag but I just took it and it taught me a skill and what it really taught me is like you know how do you learn to live with somebody that you're forced to basically live with because my mom said I can't come home uh how do you learn to live with the you know verbal abuse that somebody can say all the time and learning how to cope with that was really mechanisms that I was able to incorporate in my professional life and personal life you know in whatever it may be in a way that was conducive for me and where you know words generally hurt a whole lot and learning how it shouldn't hurt as much or being able to make it seem like oh he's not really talking to you this is really words he just has to get out and you're just listening pretend it's a TV show and that's it right and so learning how to deal with that really helped me learn a skill set that allowed me to survive wow good for you fagy um you know and I imagine that was very liberating for you the first time that you were just focused on you right you weren't focused on what other people are thinking be it your parents be it your ex-husband your community or whoever it was and think of it now where you're leading a beautiful life you have a beautiful family you have a professionally you're doing very well this could have been potentially non-existent had you not made that decision and that jump and this should give really inspiration to others who are and and let's not kid ourselves there's a ton of people that shared the same story the same background as you where they're stuck in their mold because that's what's expected them they don't know how to get out of it they just simp don't know how to get out of it and they'll go their whole lifetime their entire life they'll go not living their best selves because of it and you have a real story to share and a lot of people can take a page out of your book and follow the path that you did and I'm not endorsing people you know to just you know give up their lives and start new ones I'm not saying that just saying that there's you know don't be afraid to test the waters to give yourself a better life yeah I agree and I think what what I see happens often is that we're angry so maybe I got out but now I'm angry and that anger isn't helping you become a better person it's just keeping you in the past so really being able to figure out a way of how do you strengthen yourself in where you can cope temporarily shortterm but more so longterm right and where what are the things that you can do to help yourself really grow into the person that you are now able to become more so now that you've got the choices to make for yourself and I feel like I only became the person I am today because of all the instances and the experiences I had to go through and so I'm not upset about everything that happened obviously it was extremely painful going through all these things but from now from hindsight like I'm like I could have never become me right and you know being in a world where you know when I first started in healthcare like it was scary for me you know I had opportunities that you know friends and colleagues help me get to stages in in where I'm at right now and I'm really grateful for everything that they've done to help me get there you know but it was scary I'd never worked in a nursing home I had experience you know working in home care and I was really good about what I did but I had no inkling about nursing homes until you know I ended up being lucky enough to get a job with you know an amazing person that really helped Mentor me into where he's like you know something I don't I know the flip side let's work together on really doing that and that's the opportunity I had at Cypress skill and it was my first experience really working in the nursing home space and I loved it I felt like there's so much that Home Care can have teach taught me I should say in a way that most others coming from the nursing home side would have never known and you know in home care I got to know it so well enough that like I was the like end all to everything in regards to if you couldn't fill a shift and of course in home care if I physically didn't get somebody to Michael's house he wouldn't get care right and so I had to learn a skill and that was building relationships that allowed me to be able to convince ushi say you were a CNA on our team and I'd convince you to go to him and what I built with the people was that I got to know them and I saw that it cost nothing I have a great memory thank God so I know you and I know your story I knew where you worked what days of the week you worked what shifts what your patients name was everything about you and so they would come and pick up their checks and I would literally say hey ushy so how's your mom doing she was sick last week didn't you know did she have the surgery and they'd be amazed at how much I could remember and we had over, 1500 employees I was doing payroll for payroll for on a weekly basis and they're like whatever you need just call me like I know you'll always remember me and you'll repay the favor and that's literally how I got to make sure that every hour we could have built for got covered by hook or by crook it didn't matter the day it didn't matter the time I almost had people arguing that they want to do it for me first and I shouldn't call the other person call me rather doesn't doesn't matter what just call me I'll make sure to do it for you you remember the PM pilot you guys remember the pwn Pilots yeah it's like those that little device that you keep the little thing yeah their name and their phone numbers one of the first things they had other than a name phone number and address was birthday they actually forc you it was one of their suggestions like put in that person's birthday and I use that a lot and people are amazed at how I remember their birthday I'm like I don't remember your birthday it's just in my system and it reminds me by the way regarding birthdays all my friends know when my birthday is I demand it I make a very big deal about my birthday my friends know it like if I don't get a text from you on my birthday you're off my list you're off my list like it's the one thing that like sorry what when's your birthday again yeah you know when my birthday is do you hours of course it's July 17th right Michael you don't know I have no idea what your birthday is everyone's in my phone what can I tell you it's not on the Palm Pilot any it transformed from my pop pilot to my black of my Samsung that's it we're not friends anymore I don't know we have to we have to have about is I don't believe I have to know your birthday by heart that's like saying you have to remember my cell phone number I don't I don't know I don't know not the same thing remember remembering a birthday it's not the same it's not but I don't I don't have to remember your birthday I have to write it down you ever heard of a movie V4 Vendetta no you ever heard of that no Steph you ever heard of that movie no interesting okay so there was a movie and us one of the characters in that movie had a a line that he used to say remember remember the 5th of November that was his line that he used to say happen see my birthday is November 5th oh really yeah so I I used that make a mental note of this I that theth of November remember remember theth of November that tagline a lot and I happen to be I really like celebrating birthdays my family intill my parents intill this announc they always made a big deal about our birthdays and they would always do a birthday party for us we get to invite our friends and you know they bought pizza or whatever they bought you know and we did an activity and my my parents didn't have a lot of money growing up but for this they always Splurge like they made sure that we had a good birthday party and for me growing up now birthdays are a big deal I have to tell you I love it I gota be honest you I do I do love that big deal my wife for example she doesn't care for birthdays she was surprised when she married me like I was making a big deal about the first time I had a birthday she was like what coming in with balloons yeah she's like why you're so into your it's funny because I'm coming from the opposite place like my parents never celebrated our birthdays like is that a is that your family thing or a kidish thing you think I I think our family in particular didn't do that I think some of our friends don't some of my friends had birthday parties do not celebrate birthdays it's not something that they care about and they don't they don't make a big deal about it at all it's not as big of a deal I agree I agree very few of my friends ever celebrated their birthdays it wasn't a big deal it was like it's just a regular day even at school nobody's saying happy birthday for you or anything like you know it's real shame because a birthday is more than just the fact that a day you were born it's a day that you get to celebrate you it's one day a year that it's about you right and everybody can have their moment everybody can have a little bit their space a really nice so many reasons having a birthday being recognized is one of those things that everybody should should in into their life is to make a big deal about the people that you care about at least your friends your family make a big deal about their give one day they can't have one day that it's all about them and prop them up and make them feel good and say nice things and take them out so they can be the center of attention everybody loves that Curious by the way what happens if you have a friend who has the same birthday as you oh it's a big problem that's competition at its highest level thank God I don't have that thank God I don't have that but I I will say that my son has his birthday that he shares with a friend of mine his son and my son have the same birthday so you know I feel bad for him that he has to share his birthday with somebody else but I would not be able to handle sh my birthday with another person that that at least is directly involved I'm curious if your wife would have had the same birthday what would you have done that's a tough one that's a tough one then we could celebrate together maybe you know what I don't like when birthdays fall on like a holiday because then it ends up taking away from the birthday like end up celebrating like you know my kids are are born around Hanukkah and really like they end up getting presents for Hanukkah and happens to be it's your birthday too so let's just drum all in together it's really unfair it should be separated use your Hebrew birthday in that example true you should use get two options I make a very big deal about better for you the Hebrew or the English I have some friends that were born on September 11th and they can't stand it yeah it's a whole different world for them that's a bad day to have as a birthday they didn't plan it but right that's a bad my wife is a New Year's baby she's January 1st okay yeah January 1 that's a very nice uh but again you're busy celebrating the New Year exact they missed they missed the tax returns I feel bad for the parents just been born like December 31st do you know that for new new babies that are born up to a certain hour of the first day the government gives you um like a certain stipend for for diapers baby wipes yeah yeah the hospital they they they paperwork and as a New Year's baby the government recognizes you as a new citizen you know you're born in the new year they and they give you a STI supplies they're trying to make up for the taxes you just missed really that's all exactly but my wife missed it cut off she wasn't born up to that hour you have to be born literally from 12:00 January 1st till like 3:00 or 4 in the morning you have to be born if you born in between that then you uh you go on record as one of those New Year babies you know speaking of babies and birthdays fagy you as a woman I want to talk about this for a second because ushi and I had a discussion several podcasts ago about the concept of women in the business place and you know if there are any struggles that are different today than it used to be congratulations for everything you've done you've built a fantastic organization you're responsible for how many employees nearly 30 wow that's amazing and you're overseeing employees in facilities that's like thousands we're helping support a bunch of facilities how many employees would you say in that business you're overseeing like well we we help coordinate a whole lot of labor on the agency side for so many facilities at this point I think we're at quarter million hours a month that we're what quarter million hours a month qu of a million hours is being supported Man team wow for our Network that's amazing so look at that I mean what you've built when did you feel ever struggle of being a woman in this industry did you feel it how did you feel it I'm very curious because you're finally the first woman that we actually have on our show since that discussion we we've had a discussion about this and we have a certain uh disagreement a certain difference and you know curious what hear from your mou I actually listened to the podcast and I found it interesting because you were sharing about you know somebody that's the NDS coordinator or whatever her title is and look at you quoting from our podcast she's a fan from four or five podcasts ago first of all you guys have to talk F I literally listen at two times speed okay that's how fast I have to listen to things okay that's my usual speed but I was listening to it in in my fashions that I tend to listen to things most random times and I was thinking about it I was like you know I think that some people feel that because they're a woman they feel different I think that because of my experiences though I segregated myself from a from that stage when I first came into Healthcare as different already because I felt different I already felt like I was much stronger than most people because of where I've been you endured a lot yeah and so I felt like you know what maybe I don't look like a guy but I dress you know uh in a certain way and I I wear my pants very well so I'm okay with that and I felt like it's a choice to make if you want to make it feel different or not yes was it different at ecap back in the day in where you would go and there were very few women absolutely it felt you know like hey I would loved to see more women over here but I think that the few women that were coming we connected well and we contined to show up every year and every year we got to see more folks come and now they've got you know the the women of ecap that they do every year and different things but I think it's it's a choice to make to decide that you know I'm a woman you're a man and I can't do the same thing well let me phrase it to you this way then because I want to force feed this to because I want you to really answer this question do you think you would have been even more successful right now had had you been a man now but don't just answer that right away I want you to think about it for a second okay imagine if you were you know not fagy Morgan Stern imagine if you a Mishi Morgan Stern okay and yet all the qualifications that you have right now and you know everything that you know do you think you would have been more successful or do you think that you maximized even in your situation being in health care as a woman as a as an orthodox woman do you think that you maximized or were you missing out on something no I think that from my perspective we created something that was very unique and we piggybacked off something that needed to happen we were servicing a strike and I piggybacked building my entire company off the concept of how we service that strike and I think that the relationship skills that I had really helped Drive everything I built an entire company off of relationships relationships with actual providers these were people I never paid for a penny out of my pocket for these people but these are people that I took the time to get to know and really understand and appreciate them and respect them and I was able to convince them to be willing to work for facilities that we were servicing at much lower cost because they couldn't afford to pay anymore and so I think that had I been a guy I probably could have not built the same relationship you think it actually served you it actually did you think that it actually was an asset think about the amount of CNAs and nurses how many of them are actually women and how many of them are men there are actually more women on the clinical side than men so for me it worked in the favor of I was able to be that really sweet woman that called you that asked you to do me a favor and you had a hard time telling me no I'm very she turned that totally around because we were basically asking did you ever feel like victimized in a way that or marginalized because you're a woman that maybe you you were you're not as successful because of it she's actually saying no no no no no no no I actually used everything to my advantage in being a woman that I think I outweighed had I been a man I think I'd be more so that's amazing by the way credit to you because a lot of people get mired and stuck in their victimization right and they they don't actually ever get out of it and you not only got out of it but not only overcame it but you actually even excelled you actually did what you're one step up which is amazing I'm I'm I'm very impressed yeah we started this during covid and it was literally out of necessity that I had to do something to support a strike right and it really Lo like really taught me explain what that means support a strike because yeah so we had we had a relationship with an organization that had 11 of their buildings go on strike with 10 days notice so no employees now and pretty much all their CNAs their you know di diet 10 days in advance is that a law or that's the required notice that they generally give for a strike so you have to give 10 days notice to go on strike you can't just go is giving the strike right the union law protects the operator by at least giving them 10 days is that a thing yeah but you know what 10 days are during Co it was the week of Thanksgiving that's when they did that like they're so yeah on like what days of the week they're choosing to do things sometimes and pretty much I saw how you know what's the the most strategic way to handle a strike would be and because there were 11 facilities in different neighborhoods I was like I think we need to create like one hotspot everybody shows up to that hot spot because it allows me an opportunity a to get to know the people and knowing my skill set is really good about building relationships and memorizing things I know that if I could get them there one day I could convince them to come back as many times as I need to so I literally had the buses that would generally take the residents to their doctor's appointments which obviously wasn't happening it was during like covid it was in lockdown Chicago was literally locked down when this was all going on and I had these Vans waiting for the staff to show up the providers to show up at 5:00 a.m. every single day so we had two 12-hour shifts and everybody came to this holiday in that agreed to have all these cars get parked in the back they were at 12% capacity at that time and so they're like sure do whatever you have to do we had to wear masks we couldn't sit in the lobby their restaurants were closed but the hotel was super shitty I have to tell you I will never stay in a holiday and again I probably have a terrible case of DSD on that nights that I slept there but it literally like led me to be able to see what I can do with the power of just a damn relationship which cost nothing right and and literally I was passing around my phone number people were calling and texting my phone at all hours of the day and I would just take the time to respond I barely ever sleep ever so like for me this was perfect 80% of my communication was happening on text messaging after that experience with the strike and where I was able to convince these people to literally help me staff facilities and the cool portion was is that we were able to do this on behalf of the facilities at a fraction of the cost of what they were paying and we literally capitalized on being able to leverage relationships that I had built using agency partners and the only way we really staffed the strike in the first place was using personal relationships that I had with people like shout out to town nursing like dvy griman and his team stepped up in a way that was so conducive you know Jared from Regional Care Network like these people literally stepped up and came into a new state with 10 days notice to help appear these people were getting on the call with me at 400 am like people on their team were getting on with me at 400 am. to confirm though don't worry these people are showing up heck the people at like town and and Regional care were helping with like coordinating Ubers sometimes if somebody couldn't get to the location to get to that hot spot it was amazing about what they did and it wasn't like I did business with them before we had professional relationships I met these people at trade shows that's where I met them but I called Divia up and I said I need your help we have these facilities going on strike are you willing to help and he's like he coordinated a meet with his team like these these things happen at 10:30 at night and where because we had so little notice we knew we had to get things up and running uh the team at a ploy helped to make sure that they were able to get set up to recruit the staff it was like amazing about how quickly we were able to turn things around 70% of the staff came from just these two agencies that were based out of like New York and New Jersey roughly for most of their time that that's where they surfaced and they came into this new state for me just to help me W and it was crazy because none of the Lo what did you say I mean you know this is a very daunting task you know 10 days notice oh it was insane you got to actually find people and this is by the Michael for us a teachable moment is not everything is about investing money currency is not necessarily actually money your currency was building relationships which what you said didn't cost you any money you didn't take any money out of your pocket you just spent time you spent time with the people you got to know the real them you know you actually integrated yourself into the life make make make it more intimate and uh you you actually monetized on that you were able to use that to your advantage and it's serving you very well in your business right now so relationships building relationships people buy from people right and that's the most important thing it's not necessarily what you're selling it's not how good your product is or amazing your service is it's about you what are you going to do to make my life easier to make my life better what are you bringing to the table and I think that's really ultimately what people want to see in others it's true like our our name for our brand like people power nursing this was something that Adam actually at aoy was the one that suggested the name and really we live for that every day the amount of people that we impact on a daily B employ even like mean where does that name come from aoy yeah is that what you just said yeah so applo is a company that we work with closely right you know applo's got great brand recognition on doing a lot for our industry changing the way that you know people hire now with their Staffing platform form literally changing the way you can be organized about your Staffing there's so much value that I've been able to see personally in my career with them that I've grown with them and I no but I'm just curious about the name where did they come up with employ what does that mean employee Nolo no I know I'm using it I'm trying to figure out like someone creative you know what I'm sure there's something we have to ask Adam about that that's like a random name but yeah but it's stuck and he he's he's managed to build a great company I I love and appreciate what speaking of which we're going to get right into now then we always like to ask our guests if they would pick another guest that would be a good person to be on our show who would be your pick Adam would be my pick that's for it sounded like it that's why I was jumping on that opportunity Adam would be our pick Adam would be your pick okay so I think it's due time for you to ask him to join our show I mean yeah we we'll we'll talk to him I'm sure we can convince him to to do this with us I I think that we're both very passionate about he has a lot to offer in terms of you know his background and his what what he does general for sales marketing software technology advancement and just togetherness it's I would look forward to having I wonder if it's okay I want to go back for a minute to uh a topic we were talking about earlier uh given your background and your history and your relationship with your parents early on versus your relationship now um I also have a lot of family members friends that went through a very similar life cycle right where they grew up in a certain way whether it was an ultra Orthodox environment and they slowly you know I wouldn't say strayed because that's has a negative connotation but they changed their life course okay they completely changed you know how they live their life and a lot of times it worked out you know for the positive a lot of times it made them better people it made them healthier people happier people not always sometimes it has the adverse effect sometimes people actually go out on their own and they don't quite make it and they deterior rate and you know you're very fortunate that it really worked out for you in the end and you had support not everybody gets that poort and sometimes these people are alone and sometimes it leads them to very very dark places so I know both sides of the spectrum I know a lot of people from from each side but what thing I want to ask you and kind of get your take on this because I'm curious how you interact you know with your parents or your family even not even just your parents let's assume there's a uh event one of your brothers is making a wedding okay and at the wedding you know it's a wedding they have a certain type of uh you know uh an environment that they have as their weddings especially how people dress everybody has to come in their in their stals and their beers you know especially family right so when when you would go to a wedding I don't know if you have brothers or sisters who made weddings or not but something like that would you are you going with your hair uncovered are you covering here out of respect for what they want it's in their space it's in or or you want to be you and there's no right or wrong answer I'm just curious what you do because I do think there are some that take it to the extreme level where it become somewhat disrespectful where they're almost wanting to like you know show it up and and put it in your face a little bit too much it's almost like doco like do fight doing fight but you you I know you're obviously very very mature you're worked out and you're in a good place so you being in a good place what do you do when you go to a family event how do you go do you go dressed you know in a certain way are you going to try a little bit or or no that's that's not what you want to do and they don't even expect that so I like to dress classy right so I'm going to dress in a way that's conducive that I don't like the Oddball out right but I will be respectful about things I don't personally own a wig so I will just pretend this is my wig and I'll always say I just had a freshly washed doesn't it look great you know but that works yeah it's something that I won't change I'm not ready to cover my hair and I'm not just changing that for anybody anymore at this point when I decided I'm not covering my hair it was like done deal I'm not doing it anymore but do you make any attempt to do something that you typically would do on your own if you were somewhere else but because you're going here you're going to do something different whether it's wearing less jewelry weather whatever it mighta i' like to be myself I'd like to be myself but I will choose a dress choice that makes sure that I'm not wearing something way too short that they'll feel uncomfortable to like have me around right and so like I don't want to be that person that will intentionally you know do certain things but I'm not putting on no tights like so I'll still wear a short dress that will be close to my knees or right below my knees but I'm not going to put on tights for them everybody else could wear tights everybody else could wear their shrimal and their wig but like we're not going to change who we are as people like my husband doesn't own a hat right so there's nothing he's going to start buying in order to come to the wedding he's going to wear a suit like he always does and yes when we take pictures he will look different because they're all wearing the same black you know Becca and everything and he will dress with what he wears and because we're the only ones that are like that for my siblings yeah we end up looking different but I think that I still come across as respectful when I can and I will be respectful when I show up at my mom's house and sometimes if I feel like she'll be uncomfortable I just tell her well you could come sit in my car so I don't have to come out if you don't want me to and it works you know listen uh there's obvious this is obviously very you know um lengthy conversation that you can have on this topic but I know people um on both sides of the spectrum that are Ultra respectful when it comes to you know their background and the people that were in their previous life I know someone who does cover her hair when she goes to an event even though she doesn't cover your hair ever outside but when she goes to a certain event she she has a wig just for that reason and she covers her hair and I I think that's that's very nice I think that's very respectful that she does that uh and then I know others that are exactly the opposite not only will they not go and cover their hair but they're they're going to go out of their way to remind everybody that you know this is not who I am this is not who I want to be and they'll go a little bit Cut Above they'll go a little bit extra ump because they want to make that certain impression and that to me is is is a problem I think I think that's a little bit too much you know because think about it you you don't want to be judge right your whole thing is let me live my life you know but you're now judging them because you're saying what you know not you I'm saying these people now judging them by saying your your ways are Antiquated they're old and they're oldfashioned and they're wrong and therefore I'm going to come and I'm going to show you that this is who I am and that's in a way judging them of their values and what what they want and what they respect so I think people should try to conform it's there's there's a lot of Merit to say that if your parents or your family members are a certain way when you're amongst them I think you should try to blend in as much as you can and you know what it's just for that period of time it's not the end of the world you're leaving now go back to your regular life do whatever you want to do but when you're around you owe it I think you owe it to your parents and to your family to try to be as much as you can the way they want you to be when you're with them when you're not with them you can do whatever you want that's just my take it's my opinion I could be very wrong on this could be a lot of people going to what do you think I'm going to say to us I have a lot to say about this I already know Michael that you're going to disag I have some things to say too but go ahead Michael I mean I'm just going to say to start off with to a certain extent because why don't you put put yourself in that person's shoes for a moment okay you're you're not conforming with the way your family was growing up because you're leading a different life which is your own life and like fagy said which is your right which is your right so you want me to walk into an event and not be myself and to what extent like I understand the respect idea I really I'm a fan of it like there's certain elements of being respectful when you're going into a Sho or a synagogue or joining a Shabbat dinner or you know certain things that are respectful you know that you're part of the traditional things that you're doing just like if you join an Indian dinner you might put something a scarf over your neck and that's okay but that's it to me that's it I I'm not asking anyone to conform for me and I don't want to conform for anyone unless it makes sense within my environment of me being true and honest to who I am why don't I have a right to not keep my he covered and be myself coming into an event why don't I have the right for people to know who I am why do I have to fake it there are going to be people that I'm going to meet at this event that don't know me and then they're going to look at me and say oh you're a person that covers you're here and the conversation is going to be like they're going to ask me like when am I going to scho next and I don't want that conversation I want them so we're we're not saying anything different except that you think the line may be a little bit further than what I'm saying exact so we both agree okay that to a certain Point Let's Agree to Agree yeah but there but this is where I want to disagree with you on and I want to make sure that we have this battle is where is that line where is that line where is that line there's one extra step right the respect has to go both ways right so you can't expect me to show up a certain way however I feel respectful enough to come right so like don't have expectations that I'm going to cover my ha for you don't have expectations I'm going to wear I'm going to try and do whatever I can to make you feel comfortable but you need to be accepting that I'm not the same person you know that grew up in your house anymore either have you ever been asked to leave or to cover up did that ever happen to you so I'm I'm sure over the years I've been asked to do certain things you know especially when it came to like my ex-husband and his family and the way things were there but I think that the one thing that my family's done really well is to make sure that I feel like I belonged again and they've done a really good job at never telling me anything about things you know and it could be a portion of it is because you know they know I wouldn't care and I'm not changing anymore could be a portion of it is because at this point I have money and in the kidish space it's hard to tell somebody with money to like do something because you know you need to FP that's a I know you get to away with more because of your financial status you get away with more because of your financial talk money but F I want to get a little bit personal I'm sorry if you want to answer you don't have to okay you just say none of your business I think the only way to actually get this message across is if we use a real life example here okay right now you're not cover ring your elbows right that's fine a normal day of life you hear that's perfectly normal when you go to a wedding and see there a wedding in Williamsburg this is not okay and a matter of fact it's very offensive for them very offensive okay so if you go to a wedding in Williamsburg or in Monroe it sounds to me like you wouldn't look to cover your elbows particularly or even wear a skirt that's below your knees which is very offensive to the you know not even just for them but even in any Orthodox you know do you think that you should be covering it up for the sake of ending in or do you think no this is what this is the line I want to know is that the line or do you have a different line I have no problem wearing longer sleeves if I was to come to Williamsburg you know I have tattoos on my arm and to me it's a whole separate conversation too right so instead of having to have that conversation I'd rather just wear longer sleeves it's funny because a couple months ago I had gone out with my siblings and bear in mind you know we had gone out with five or six of the siblings you know obviously my husband and I came were the ones that are different and we had gone out to the city before this and we were meeting afterwards for dinner and like right before we were headed there I was like I know I'm wearing jeans but I'm also wearing short sleeves I think one of the others got to go let me let me at least go pick up another shirt so that I have longer sleeves and you know what we're all sitting at the table nobody was seeing what I was wearing below that so it looked very respectful I went over to the aritzia store got myself an oversized sweatshirt never mind it was boiling hot but I'm like I'll suck it up for this time because you know what I don't want to have that be that I'm sitting at the table and all you're looking at is like what I'm wearing rather than who I am and it was an amazing dinner we took great pictures but you'll see I'm the odd one out and so is my husband and it doesn't matter because the family chose to be accepting you know but is there a point that they were accepting because they needed something perhaps you know and I do think that it happens often in where money will let you get away with certain things like we pay full tuition at school the school will never call us for anything because we're one of the very few that still pay full tuition so it's going to be something that like you can get away with certain things based on the fact that I don't need something from you now you need something from me by the way and that's I'm okay with that because at the end of the day you know money does make things go round and it's just the reality it's the reality is what it is yeah it's fine we have to try to you know curb it as much as we can not let it influence our decisions in very big ways where it affects other people's lives but that's not that's been going on for you know thousands of years I think it's going to change anytime soon but I'm very impressed with you that you went and you about it but fgy I don't mean to give you a hard time but it almost sounds like you did it for yourself it sounds like you were somewhat like I don't want to deal with this I don't want people looking at me asking me question I'd rather just cover up not so much because you know I'm with them and this is kind of their you know this is what their beliefs are and I want to you know I want to appease them I want to just blend in because I respect them it didn't come from that place it sounds like it sounds like it came more of it was a little bit of both because generally I go out with my sisters often we probably at least see each other once every month or every other month and they've already seen me in my element like this right so it wasn't for them it was more so their husbands that came with them I don't want them to feel like you know maybe their wies shouldn't hang out with me for some reason because of what I do or what I wear and so I wanted to be more respectful a little bit for their sake more so than for my sake because for me like you don't want to talk to me tomorrow I don't give a you know but for them like I didn't want it to be an opportunity for them to be told like oh perhaps you shouldn't be going for dinner with her go out without her you know and I like my relationship with my sisters I freaking love them like I I feel like I have the strongest relationship with my sisters now more than that I had when I was growing up like we were fighting cats and dogs back in the day but like yeah you know we were girls that were in high school like three out of four of my sisters were in high school at the same time we were very competitive about certain things back then but like now we're in a place where we honestly could have great conversations we can have a really good time we'll talk about our past and all the challenges we've been through as kids growing up in our house do you think any of your sisters secretly kind of you know look at your life now and think that themselves you know maybe maybe we kind of missed the boat you know maybe maybe fies on to something you I feel like secretly they probably like maybe have a certain inklings of like this is so much more fun you know like and like I'd want to do this more often you know and stuff like that for sure you know you know what the biggest problem with a lot of the ultra Orthodox let's call them that you know when they decide this is not the path that I want this too much this is very extreme I can't I want something else a lot of times they don't realize that it's not black and white right it's it's not either you're very kidish or you're not religious at all and and and you know you start wearing a cross tomorrow morning like there's a lot of real estate in between you know you can be a you can live a very healthy life by being very religious and having certain beliefs and you could have a very good quality of life right but you can see that as an outsider that's our job our job is to teach these people no the Kish people don't feel like that like I remember when I chose to have my eldest daughter go to Prospect and Prospect is a very from school but it's considered a modern School in the kidish environment it's it's not aish school it's not like P or sophomore or above and it would be her first grandchild going to a school like that I remember thinking like oh my God my kids going to public school that's what my mom thought she's going to public school right and if only she could imagine like the school she was in then like at least was only girls like at the point that like my kids are in schools that are co-ed they're great schools and you know shout out to my kids schools like yiva No And frish are amazing schools you know cost an arm and a leg compared to a school but amazing schools I I think my kids have grown into the people they've become because of having opportunities to have gone to a school that was so special I don't think they would have been the same people had they stayed in the system that we were coming from but my parents especially my mom felt like I'm literally going to this path of like the extreme so which is basically it wasn't I was wearing a longer skirt now look at the street most everybody's wearing a long skirt but 20 years ago long skirt was like oh my God I'm trying to be modern modern or religious or not religious which route would you rather me have the real the problem is that a lot of times um you know people you know in your circles growing up and you know Williamsburg and Monro or even in Israel May Sharm they're very sheltered they don't know what's out there and they don't know how to adjust to their new reality as soon as they get a little bit of Freedom they get a taste of it they go out there and they go wild you know like the Amish you know the Amish right they actually force their children at a certain age to go out and experience the world and they tell them you have a choice to come back afterwards and if you come back it's for good like once you come back you're making your decision or I believe it's when they're 18 it's called rum spring rum spring rum spring there you go so rum spring is an Amish concept I want to do a rum spring oh my God can we do it still rum is it really called rum spring let's do it what Great Name by the way like if I had to think of a name to for this type of concept of going out into the world and just party and do everything you want go rum spring have a little rum you know first year first year people didn't get no sh ol or anything like that so like we didn't have those years you get married right out of word rum that I like that but you should know that when I first got married the first time I remember like I was seeing you know my ex-husband opening the light I was thinking he was going to get electrocuted like literally I'm like you haven't died like you turn on the TV holy that's a world that people actually live in where they think that if I open the light lightning is Strike me right now and then when it doesn't happen they're oh wow this is interesting then try something else and and before you know it before you know they go completely off and this is where the problem starts is they don't know how to actually strategically do this they don't understand that okay you were probably a little bit you know taught a little bit too much we agree you were way too sheltered you were it was way too extreme but bring it down a coues I agree a couple you're have to go now into first gear from fifth gear all of a sudden you take a quick break and you have an accident because of it you there has to and there has to be a lot of Education that needs to go around because the community is growing growing growing growing you see what's going on in in Monroe and K I have to interject they're also thriving thriving thriving sure there's something that works but Michael there is a portion of that community that is let's call it collateral damage yeah okay there's a percentage I don't know if it's 10% 15% whatever the number is that automatically it's going to happen it's unavoidable that they're going to go out of the community and they're going to fall very hard and we have to make sure that we provide the and there is a lot of programs that are out there there is much more prevalent it was to 20 years ago it was not available I'm sorry available when you grew up times you not have that agreed agreed it was like you had to kick them out of the house because it would be bad for your other kids like it was like literally almost like the parents felt obligated to stop talking to that kid because they're like the cancer that's going to hurt every other kid in the house I feel like there is much more available now I still think that there's a very large stigma almost like the siblings from this kid that decided to like go a different path is now like hurting the other kids and their chances of staying in schools and getting into schools I find it hard to believe that like Society hasn't changed and the schools haven't kept up with so much of it for kids to have to beg to get into schools if they want to stay in a religious school why wouldn't you keep them you know I think that that's the part that like that's a whole another topic school systems and how it we're you know throwing a kid out because of how their family is or whatever it might be okay that's a whole another conversation just to Circle back on the rum spring thing if the Amish person doesn't the 18-year-old does not choose to come back and go back to their Community shun they're shun really right they're kicked out they're done they cannot see their family they they're sh they lose their relationship forever with their family and they can't come back so it's a very big decision for them so there was a movie like this divergent or something like that no no no no no you're talking about Banshee no no that's a show I'm talking about there's also a movie called divergent or where um they they leave the community a faction and once you pick that faction you're done there's no turning back they made a show also a lifetime series about Amish um you know that go through this rum spring we got to by the way have a drinking game with rum spring every time we say rum spring from now on we take a shot but I got to tell you it's it's a fascinating topic and it's a very controversial one fagy and the bottom line is I believe this is just my little small-minded way of thinking is everybody should do what works for them that makes them happiest what works for you that makes you happy because if you're not happy nothing else matter that is the beginning of all problems I agree and you have to strive to just be as happy as you can be and religion is super important arguably the most important thing but you know what comes before religion your self- happiness your self-care because you can't have a relationship with God you can't have a relationship with your peers if you don't have a relationship with your s first agree it starts and ends with you so you got to be happy and if this life isn't working for you and you're miserable and you're hiding it and you're stuck inside your shell because of it you're not doing a service to anyone you're doing a disservice to yourself and to the Future Generations that you could be bringing up and you're also creating a snowball effect of unhappiness around you and you're making your kids go through that type of life and much more open-minded I agree I think that most people aren't naturally just happy though and it's a choice to make to wake up in the morning and say I choose to be happy I want to be happy and I think that that's something that I've worked hard on and saying like I'm not going to let things get in my way of being happy I don't care what happens like I'm choosing to be happy and I think that it's what people gravitate around me to like want to be with me and like spend time with me because like I truly choose the path of like being happy not because it's the path of least resistance it's obviously the path that sometimes takes the most work but it's such a good choice in where I see the days that I'm happy everybody around me is just happy it's a happier day things are more positive you you basically perpetuate how you feel so if you're a happy person right you're going to put that happiness onto someone else and it's going to bounce back to you it's going to make you happier but when you're bringing that negativity into nobody wants it reverberates all over everybody gets more negative from yeah I agree I think nobody wants to be about negative Nelly all the time nobody wants to hear everything that they right yeah like please leave me alone like I want to just hear everything that's going well like I tell this to my team all the time like tell me something positive don't only give me the negative like you'll always see when I'm starting a conversation it will always be I see something nice first even if it's something to the team that I need to relay to them my first thing will always be something nice and something positive to make it shareful don't think should be the opposite though no because otherwise the nice thing at the end no end off with something nice too but like if you start the conversation with a negative your head is already in that space in where I can't listen to you anymore because like I S in my head you already told me I'm not good enough so now anything you say you're not hearing the same way talk about this because because like I don't do you know that they say when you slap a child which you shouldn't be doing right but back in the day they they would do that but they would say then like if they thought like this was the remedy you're softening the blow so to speak is after you smack them give them a kiss or give them a hug you know just to that's we all know I think the whole thing is messed up don't smack him to begin with right take a whole another approach we've learned today as we've if I told her something nice would you not be more open to hearing what I have to say you're patronizing me and it sounds like no it's depending on how you say but then I but then I don't believe the next thing you said but it was oh wait a second now that's why they started with something nice because they want to but I feel like it's more genuine more authentic if you come out there and you say what you have to say obviously be respectful be polite and not saying you know be very tough about it but try to do it the best way you can but say it and then end off with something nice so this way they know about and by the way having said that here's what I think you're doing amazing they'll be more receptive to being real they know you're being real they just experiencing I'm also going to disagree because if you start off authentically giving a compliment they'll feel it right away that is not authentic anymore it is because they realize the only reason why you told me because you knew you were going to tell me something afterwards that was hard to hear and that's why you picked something in the beginning to say something no but if you always say that meaning regardless of what I have to say with you I'm always going to be positive POS with you I'm always going to say something nice regardless if I have something negative to say after that or not I'm always going to do that so I always start the conversation the same way regardless of being positive about something be of how you did your work week last week what you did it's not only for that how about say something nice before then get to your message saying I love that sandwich it in between yeah agree I like how we circled back in the beginning we started talking about your self-care we ended off talking about Us's recognition of self-care I always talk about you know self-love you have to recognize yourself right before you can recognize God or others your family your friends your business and uh we have to wrap up guys we're having such a good time we're already an hour in and uh we've been hearing a lot of feedback that people want to keep it you know in that range okay um so but before we end I have a couple of few like questions that I prepared that I want to ask you okay and uh you could just answer me right away or you can you know talk about it more ushi can look through his cards to see if he has any questions I want to know given the Olympics that are happening right now one sport that you would pick what would it for you to be the best at a gold metal I used to say it would be swimming because I really loved swimming and then one summer before I got married you know I was going to be a lifeguard that summer and then my mom shut the plans down and I never got to be the Lifeguard that year and it sort of like had me rethink about loving swimming anymore and so I would have changed my mind on that that s is a tough tough sport it is you know they have to swim sometimes like eight laps back and it's and and they do it like back and forth Michael there's no breaks that's right you have to have real endurance for that do you know what the most popular most watched sport is in the Olympics in the Summer Olympics I'm talking about not the Winter Olympics I'm going to assume swimming no really swimming is on the list is in the top 10 really what is it the most watched sport in Olympics is gymnastics I was going to say that next gymnastics it's probably the only it really is oh my God the flips that these people could do oh my God my head spins yeah yeah they work all day every day it's amazing I always wished I could do that by the way but like I wasn't flexible you on that note what is it that you would do if you didn't have to work what would you like what's your like go-to hobby that you can do like you know for fun that you oh gamble I call it church I'm with you I say I'm going yeah absolutely what's your what's your game uh well all games I'm not prejudiced I like all games I hate Blackjack okay I love poker I feel like you always lose on Blackjack I feel like it's a losing game it's a losing proposition you know how you win on Blackjack statistically it's the one that you could win the best no no no you know how you win a blackjack the secret is you come in there saying I'm only playing 10 hens and whatever happens in those 10 H I'm walking away because how they get you is you could go on a run it happens you go on a run but the more you stay you're giving it all back you're giving it all and then some with interest you're giving it back yeah I call it I go to church so my kids know if I'm getting dressed I'm going to church they really know where it's I have a good question go ahead I have a good question what was the largest amount of money in one sum that you either earned that you won inherited doesn't matter how you got it but what was the largest amount of money that you can remember that you got in one shot and like you know was like you know you got one check you got one you know one one gambling or somewhere else anywhere anywhere gambling I doubt I doubt it was gambling maybe it was an invoice that was paid maybe it exactly one chunk of money well I won a lot of money off a 25 offit hand on in in poker and man that was still my best hand to date and I won a few thousands off that hand and it was just so fun seeing the face of this person that was a jerk next to me when he lost with his trip twos because he had 27 but I had 25 and gave me a full house on the Flop and he lost man you should have that guy thought poker I love playing poker one of the best rules of Poker is that when it's heads up you can Trash Talk oh my God and I wait for those moments it's all about trash ins it's insane though because we talk about Healthcare and women in healthcare and like you know obviously you guys have your opinion about women in healthcare I'm obviously a woman that maximized being a woman in healthcare but maximizing being a woman at the poker table let's talk about that that is true you know the women don't get enough Street credit when it comes to PO man I pretend to be that stupid girl at the table and then I literally rip them by the time I'm gone and you should know that I often play in Chicago when I'm at work I'll I'll stay at the table you know after work and after I'm doing stuff and I've created cred for myself at a poker table you know literally in a way that like when I'm back there they all just want to play with me because I've got guts I don't care about losing 500 bucks like it's not about the 500 bucks it's more about the thrill about what I could get and so I'll call on hands that most other people would never call I usually wear my glasses you know and so like you know I'll fiddle with them I'll read my emails I told you that I was at a poker game in Atlantic City I was with my brother at the time and I was playing at a game and the poker table and I remember I'll never forget this I was in a hand I was all in and the person against me was all in as well it was a decent amount of money it wasn't major was under $1,000 but it was you know it was a healthy amount 7 800 bucks and I won the hand the other person lost and you know as he's throwing his cars go oh God There Goes My Weekly paycheck and he gets up and he leaves and he gets my brother and I and I turned towards each other like oh God you know like I I felt really bad about it I felt really bad about it and I decided since then when I go to casinos I don't play poker really yeah I don't want to play poker because I'm here at the casino I want to take the casinos money they can afford to give me money I'm probably not taking their money either I'm giving them money but for the hopes of taking their money I want to take their money I don't want to take another person's money as the poker table why don't you start a poker game and say hey guys what do you all do for a living maybe that'll be a more no but you have to imagine that 90% of the people game is not uber wealthy they're probably just you know average or or trying to scrape by you know they're really wealthy people and not playing yeah most money in cinos are made from the slot machines of social you should know that some people at this at this casino that I go to in Chicago do this for a living this is what their job is they literally sit there for hours every day sharks that's what they do they wait for guys like me and you to get there considered a small fish anymore just saying yeah but we're not professionals though no not professionals but I I've I've gotten in some good hands with these peoples and walked away why don't you join the World Series of Poker the $10,000 buying they do once a year in Vegas you know the winner gets like like I don't know five million bucks whatever it is maybe even more than that uh why don't you uh join us $10,000 I like that idea I don't like to play play that I like to play real like just I like to like a lo I like it as a skill I think it's taught me a to have patience is one thing I really got to have patience because you got to wait for the right hand and when to do it and who to do it against but also getting to know your opponents at the table right watching their moves it is so interesting and like you could be sneaky about things pretending you're on the phone or listening to music and watching and listening to what they're saying and they're thinking that you're not paying attention W this girl I am not putting poker with you I am not getting on the same I'm telling you I've won like I came in the game with $400 and left with over four grand several different occasions already because like at the end of the day it's about really taking the time to understand that like I may not have the best hands always but how I play it will allow me to do that hey and once you have enough money at the table like you could literally have the shittiest hand and literally scare people to like you literally bulldoze them right because at the end of the day are you going to risk your Ace King now against $22,000 are you willing to bet that money maybe not because you don't even have a peer anymore and I may have just had two three options do the best hand doesn't always win it's a very evil game poker because you know it's frustrating you do everything right and and then somebody else doesn't know what they're doing and uh they win they they beat you sounds like a game of Life a game of life exactly it's true it's a matter of my last question V I think this is a very important question I think our our listeners can really benefit from this okay what are some of your tips things that you've learned on how to save money in your personal life in general just how to save money anything you're asking the person I'm asking the WR person you don't save money I'm investing it you're she invest in watching misunderstood Mis the question not about a saving account it's not about saving and AC crewing money it's not what I'm asking I'm asking a trick to save money to let's say lower your phone bill or to spend less money in the grocery because you know you get a tip that you know you I can save money for any person around me right so like what we do for work right is help save money for labor and it's something that I do really well right for yourself for myself I like to spend money that's that much I can tell you it's like the shoe maker walking around shoeless she walks around Barefoot well it's quite the opposite here she's spending the money she's having a good time she doesn't need the shoes uh yeah saying her job is to sa but I think you can be smart about doing both it's not about you're a spender as your husband the same way I I think we're both Spenders in a in a way that you know what's very frustrating when one of you is a spender one of you is a saver that that does work I I agree because like shopping on Sundays would be so boring if we like that's how couples get into fights the number one thing couples fight about is finances that's the number one thing that they oh I agree I agree like that can be a major concern sometimes but I think that it works for me me and where I've balanced like what is it that I'm putting away what is it I'm allowed to spend I work really hard right and so I want to be able to live that life and where if I'm working this hard I need to enjoy life too good for you so it goes both ways I like it I like it you won't hear me complain FY this was a lot of fun yeah this I love getting to know you uh more on a personal level and uh hearing you guys get to know each other also I'm still going to share the videos from back in the day with ushy because I think he'll have a good laugh about it especially me because I was a little bit involved then I knew we're we're going to make a documentary love to hear see what you know get some memories not all were good but you know some some were fantastic I love to relive that a little bit yeah I know that it was it was fun times and and speaking of fun times this was fun and thank you so much for joining us course thank you so much for having me and uh I look forward to seeing you at more trade shows and doing good all around the world and uh thank you again yeah yeah very nice thanks fgy it's a wrap thank you so much what a fantastic episode that was getting to know fagy her background her business the world that she lived in the world that she's currently living the notes that I made is it started in talking about greed versus green I love that we're talking about a lot of things that we uh figured out is anger and when people talk and just not letting the words hurt you which is something that you know resonates well with me because sometimes I hang around people that are just angry and just like you listen to them and you just ignore the words because they're just words don't let it hurt you so and learning about her experience as a woman I love that she said that it helped her because I'm a big fan of that ushi what did you take out of it so I am very impressed with uh how successful fagy has become but not because she became successful a lot of people became successful but the challenges that she had to face early on given that you know she didn't go to college right she didn't have that education that typically people have um so she had to overcome a lot and also being a woman in healthc care you know I I still believe that it is uh certainly a little bit more challenging than than for a man just given you know our space and our environment um but I'm very impressed by how she didn't make herself a victim right she didn't just you know take it on the chin and say this is my law and just complain about it which a lot of people do and she actually made something of herself and what I was really impressed with is that I got the sense like she's really in a good place today she's very happy and that's the ultimate thing people strive for is to just be happy so if she found some recipes some secret source to how to be happy it's be true to yourself don't be don't get caught up and stuck on what other people want from you what other people expect of you even your parents even your family which is the hardest people to walk away from nobody wants to disappoint their family nobody wants to be a failure in their parents' eyes so it was very brave of her very courageous of her that she went out and she forged her own path I mean she went through a marriage she got divorced and then she married again and she has kids and you know all of this could have potentially never have happened if she didn't make certain decisions in her lifetime and I'm I really shutter to think how many other people are out there in the world that aren't the best versions of themselves because they haven't made certain difficult decisions but necessary decisions so for me I hope our listeners anybody that's struggling internally anybody that you know questions should I shouldn't I go for it take that risk do it because if you don't you're going to live with that question your whole life and I think that is the most painful thing that someone can experience so for me that was something that I really really enjoyed you know talking us through with fagy I agree and I love that that's where the none of your business podcast is heading talking about professional personal lives and growing and staying positive and being happy amongst all of our anxieties and we're learning and growing together please don't forget to like subscribe follow thank you again Prim source and to all of our listeners and your feedback we love it see you next time