Shlach - Finding Hashem in the Pause

You're listening to the weekly para podcast with Ari Goldwag recorded with Hashem's never ending assistance in Ramat Besh Israel 5785 2025. This week's par is paras and I'd like to take you past the story of Moragim, past the events that happened there where they went to Israel, they came back with a negative report. I want to start our story in the moment where Akadeshu is angry at AmIrael for listening to the report of the spies. Am's crying in the tents. It's tishov, the first tishabove. And Hashem says, "Look, I'm ready to destroy them." Hashem gets upset. How long will these people speak so disparagingly of me? Will they defy me? How come they're not How long will they not believe in me? Like, I've done so many miracles for you. Took you out of Egypt. I made sure that all the people were taken out of the hospital before that missile landed. I'm doing miracles for you every moment, every day. How come they don't believe in me today? I tell them I'm going to bring them into Israel and it's an awesome place to be. Why don't you trust me? So says, "I'm going to I'm going to take them out. I'm going to bring a gaya on them. Heaven forbid a plague. And I'm going to start a new nation with you, Moshe." Musha says it's not a good idea. It's interesting this conversation. It's not a good idea. The Egyptians will say, "Look, he took us out. They took him out of Egypt, but he couldn't bring them into the land of Israel. That's why he destroyed them." So, it's not a good idea. You can't kill them. Vata. Now, here's the we're going to focus on focus on says the following. Now, I you know, Hashem, you told me, you taught me a trick. You told me a a secret about how to get atonement when does something wrong. I'm the leader. I have to speak on their behalf. You taught me what to do. You told me to say the 13 attributes of Hashem's mercy, which interestingly he doesn't say all of them here. He says some of them God is slow to anger. God is kind. God removes sin. He cleans it off to those who do chuva. He doesn't clean it off as Rashi explains for those who don't do chuva. I'm skipping a little bit. Forgive the sin of this nation with your great kindness. You've been carrying them until now. Since they left Egypt, maybe from the time that they were in Egypt until now. Says, "I forgive as you have said." I forgive as you have said. So Mosher Raenu says Hashem you're which it's very interesting this conversation because like isn't going to destroy them. Mosha says Hashem you're patient. Hashem says okay I won't I forgive them. So I'm reminded of a concept we've spoken about in the past that uh Moshe is and we all are the mida the positive attribute of Hashem. The way that it manifests in the world is based on us. Amaz because of their negativity. We could say because of their impatience believing that you know it's not possible for us to get in there. Oh yeah. Yeah. So Hashem responds with impatience as it were measure for measure. But Misha Rabenu as a leader and any of us can do this too and we spoke about this in the B podcast and I urge you to go back to the B podcast number 213 listen to that. We through our judgment or lack of judgment, our ma, we through our patience, we draw into the world Hashem's patience as it were. Shem has midas. Shem is the ways that he interacts with us. But the way that he interacts with us depends on us. If we're impatient and we think, "Oh, how are we going to get into?" Hashem is impatient with us. Says, "Hashem, you taught me Hashem, the real power, Hashem, your power of kindness is real. You have patience. Your slow to anger. And Hashem says, you've changed the by asking for forgiveness. Everything changes. But now listen to what what happens immediately after this. And this is the message I'd like to read to you is on this p says however I am the living God and my honor fills the entire land which means to say that it's true that I am a patient God and you have activated as it were my patience. But there's still there is still justice when we behave in a way which is demanding and impetuous. So the result is that Hashem is also demanding. Now we can ask from for a we can ask for a reprieve and a reprieve really means that I'm saying hold on don't bring out my judgment yet. Give me a chance maybe to do chuva. Give me a chance to to state my case to say something on my my own behalf. How many let me let me uh not make an excuse but explain what happened. So, Hashem says, "We're going to slow things down instead of them all dying in one fell swoop right now." Interesting. Whoever sees my honor, which means right whenever Hashem shows his his presence. So, it expresses his honor. The the the clouds of his glory, they appear. The story of Korak, the clouds represent Hashem is there. I'm I'm here. It's like the the father comes in. The kids are fighting. The father comes in and he says, "Uh, what's going on here? You all see my honor." Hashem says, "You see that I'm present and you see my signs." Which means that if you see Hashem's miracles, there's a greater requirement of you. There's a deeper thing that happens when I see a miracle. Well, if I see Hashem's presence, I'm called to a higher calling. I have a higher obligation. I have a deeper requirement. I can't just say, "Oh, how are we going to get into Israel? What do you mean? I see the miracles that Hashem is doing for me. Hashem is going to continue to do them for me. If I deny Hashem or deny the fact that I could get into Israel, it shows that I don't believe in Hashem's miracles even though he's doing them for me. the miracles Hashem says that I did in Egypt and that I did in the wilderness. So didn't listen. They tested me 10 times. Hashem says, which means to say endlessly. And here's the kicker. I'm not going to kill them now, but this group of people will not see the land. the the land that I promised. All those who spoke negatively of me. They they got me angry. They caused me anger. They're not going to see the land. Their kids will see the land, but they won't see the land. And it's a very sad situation. All they had to do was trust in Hashem and they would have walked into Israel. But instead, they didn't trust in Hashem. Despite all of the asurances and despite all the miracles, they didn't trust in Hashem. And so, Hashem stretches out the time, right? They could have been destroyed all in one moment. Hashem would start over from Moshe. No, they're going to all have kids. We're going to stretch out the time. Each one of them is going to die. And as a fortune point out, they all lived a long life for a relatively long life. They didn't die at that moment. They lived to be 60. Every single one of them. When it got to their 60th birthday, they passed away. So they died out throughout the years in the midbar time in the wilderness. But I want to point out here that there's a concept of waiting. We're going to see this in the maj. There's a concept of waiting that somehow through waiting. The the Jewish people should have gone in right now. They were anxious. They were impatient. They said, "We can't do it though. It's too hard." And Hashem showed impatience towards them. And Mosherenu says, "You are you are patient. You're a patient God." And so, Hashem showed patience and they didn't all die. And there was a 40-year period, a stretched out period. The time was expanded where they would have to wait. The kapor, the atonement for this great sin of impatience was that they would have to be patient and patient to the point where they wouldn't even experience that salvation themselves. They wouldn't themselves walk into but their kids would. Somehow the patience, the stretched out time, the the waiting brings us back to the root of our problem. That impatience when Moshu ra was on our he's about to come down. He's receiving the ll. He's about to bring them down. And Israel comes and says, "Look, Mosha's dead." They don't even look carefully. They're impatient and they sin. That's where all of the sins come from. The alter talks about this is works with quickness and the voice of Hashem is heard. It's a quiet voice. We have to clear away all the noise. All of the noise of our mind which is I need it now quickly. G now we we want Msiah now. We don't want to wait. That's not how Msiah comes. comes with patience. When I get into Israel, need to have patience nicknam. It's going to be hard. You got to have patience. You got to bust through. Let's see the message together. It talks about the idea of patience. Pik says later on 20 and up. Nobody who is 20 years and older was going to enter into Israel. They would have to wait out the years in the midbar until all those people passed away. points out that despite the fact that they sinned, they were still they were still righteous individuals. They were the door, they experienced Hashem, they were the they were eating the mana. So yes, they had a lack of amuna. They had a lack of belief. They had an impatience, but they were sadikim. And they all lived out their lives as fully as fully as possible to the age of 60. Now let's see what's the difference. What's the difference between a righteous individual and a wicked individual and between a person who serves Hashem and someone who doesn't serve Hashem? And by the way, when we say bo come and see, it's like it's like hold on a second. Anything you thought was true, put it on pause. I'm going to show you something you didn't know. Which means to say, have some patience and listen up and find out something new. How do you tell the difference between someone who serves Hashem and someone who doesn't? Where do you see who's and who's a Russia? says an analogy. There was a king and a queen and the queen had a maid servant and this maid servant before the maidervant. So her husband went the king went to Medina he left the country he had important state matters to deal with elsewhere. The night before the king was to return, this maidervant says to her master, to the woman, to the princess, to the queen, I'm prettier than you and the king loves me more than you. So, she was maybe a pile or it's not clear exactly. The queen said to her in the morning, "Hey, because it's night time, you could think that you're prettier than me." But the morning will come and the king will return and we'll see who's prettier to him and who is more beloved to him. In a similar way, the nations of the world say to the Jewish people, we are doing, we have replaced you, whether it's the Christian world, whether it's the Arab world, the Muslim world, we have replaced you as the chosen one of God. And we are the ones who we're doing it the way God really wants it. We are beloved to him. Our actions are beautiful to him. The prophet Isaiah the prophet says the morning will come and we'll know who Hashem desires. The shimer which means a guard or watchman says the morning comes and also the night which by the way the word watchman the word shimeir as we'll see it means to wait someone who's shy it says by yose he had a dream told his dream to his brothers they got upset at him you know here's the dream which means waiting as Rashi explains was waiting waiting to see when this dream would come true. When his son Yoseph would become the leader over his kids means to wait in anticipation, patiently when's it going to happen? And Yakob would have to wait 22 years. But the Shimemer says, "Wait till the morning." The shr really am Israel. We're the ones who are we are the Shimev. We keep the Tyra, which by the way, there's a lot of waiting. We're counting off from PE. We're counting off the We're waiting. There's a lot of waiting. We're counting off the days. We're waiting for Msiah. We're waiting. Yes, we do want to wait. We want Msiah, but we want to wait. What are we waiting for? We're waiting for the morning. The future time will come, the world to come. That moment will arrive and we'll see who it was indeed that Hashem desired. Again says, which we quoted before, you'll come back, the says, and you'll see who is the saddic, who's the righteous one, and who's the wicked one. You're going to come back. That means you're going to wait. You're going to go somewhere and you're going to wait and you're going to come back and find out really who is the one. And it has to do with waiting. It says something in the seems disconnected, but we're going to see how it's deeply deeply connected. The mag says all of the mistakes all the foolish things that Israel does all the years all the days of the year but it goes up onto the onto the scale meaning we do an a we're switching topics for a moment here. Listen carefully. A person does an aa you put the ara or the mitzvah onto the scale. It gets placed there. Now, when does Hashem pull out the scales and erase the sins? When does Hashem be when is Hashem us on says on this day Hashem forgives us? That's the end of the Hashem forgives us on Kipper. The Marzu explains that what it means to say is that when Mishenu asked for forgiveness for Ami Israel, it was on tishab. It was tishov from tishovra which is exactly 2 months later 60 days later. Interesting the number 60 the forgiveness took place later. We had to wait for the forgiveness. It didn't happen right away. And then we have to wait 40 years for Israel to be worthy again to be able to come into Israel. And it's not going to be the same people. It's going to be their kids. But it's going to be their kids, not a new nation from Misha. So there's a waiting. You have to wait till you want to be forgiven. Ask for forgiveness. Hashem says, "Wait. We're going to get to it. We're going to get to it. When we get to Yamiper, we're going to get to that. You got to wait for it. The Hashem wants to forgive us, but it takes time for that forgiveness to occur either because we need an opportunity to do chuva, right? It's not enough for to ask on our behalf. We got to do chuva ourselves. We got to recognize our mistake and and change. But besides for that, the very waiting itself for an answer. I'm waiting. What's going to be? I'm waiting for an answer. What's going to be? Are we going to be able to destroy these these nuclear reactors? Is America going to join into the fight? I'm waiting for the answer. I'm waiting for Messiah. Claus has returned to Israel. So, since 1948, it's so many years later, 77 years later. We're waiting. We're waiting. Is this the beginning of the prize? Is this the Mashia? Are these the footsteps? Are we are we there? Are we almost there? We're waiting. And in the waiting in the waiting is the capora. And the waiting is the atonement. And the waiting is where we find Hashem. The human being, the ego. We want it now. We want Israel now. We want Msiah. Now we want our salvation. Now we want our financial problems to be solved. Now we want our interpersonal problems solved. Now we want that shik. Now we want that baby now. All the things that we want so badly. We want to fix those problems. We're going to solve the crisis. Crisis now. We're going to we're going to take it all now. We're going to grab it all now. And it's in that pause. It's in that waiting. That's where our problems are solved. It's in the silence. Our mind is so busy. Our mind is so active. Our mind is so sol. We're all What is our mind doing? It's always solving problems. He's trying to fix things now. Oh, this one hurt my feelings. I'm going to get back in there. I just I'm going to eat should apologize. This kid, how do I fix this problem? My kid so noisy. It's all in my mind. But my heart, my heart's the place where I could pause. Bring it into my heart. If I could bring it into my heart. You know, I talked about ma. I talked about I talked about being m people. I want that person to apologize to me before I'm going to forgive them. I want I want it now forgiveness. But you know what? I can I find forgiveness in my heart without them asking for it? That requires a really deep pause of realizing that hey, it's not them, it's Hashem. And in realizing that, hey, could I do the same thing? I could. And it's not to say that that person is right. I'm not saying that what they did is correct. If I forgive somebody, it doesn't mean that their behavior was right. But it means that the the poison that's in me. I got to get rid of it. I got to get it out of me. I got to forgive them. And when I forgive them, as we saw, and I invite you once again to be number 213, it creates a shield for me. It creates a shield for Israel. creates a power of raim for compassion for Hashem to to bring the people out of the hospital so that when it when that thing falls they're protected. That's created by our ma. That's created by our m. Somebody wrote on the on the on the comments on the podcast that they had been estranged, disconnected from their parents, held held grudges against them, and they they started a reconciliation process. That's amazing. That's a pause. It's a pause from all the noise of my head, all of the ego. That's a pause. That's a stepping back and saying, "Hey, I got to I got to fix this. Has been waiting a long time for Msiah. Who's the sadic?" It's an amazing thing what the medish is saying. Who is the sadic? The sadic is somebody who knows how to stop and pause and wait. if Jacob is waiting to see how it's going to play out and it takes a long time to play out. It takes 22 years and YVF learns from his father. He's in jail for 12 years. How does he do that? How does he wait so long and he finally comes out and he can't even contact his father and his brothers and his family? Takes another 10 years or more precisely nine years. He's waiting a long time. But that's the is the and he's the like we said in the in the podcast he's the one who knows how to see that it's Hashem he's got that connection to Hashem which is in the pause which is in the heart which is in my heart which is the place of ma the place of forgiving. I want to bless you. I ask you to bless us. Hashem should help us to see all of our mistakes come from this impatience. It's this disbelief that Hashem's going to help us. This disbelief that we can get what we need. It might take a little longer than we think. Should help us to be able to wait. And that waiting should be a kapara for us for our impatience. And should serve to burn off our ego, our gya, our our impatience. Hashem should help us to live in that space, to live in the space of the heart instead of just the space of the mind. Hashem should help us to indeed be able to pause, to forgive, and to wait. Thank you so much for listening. Have a wonderful Shamas. This podcast was made possible through the gracious donations of listeners like you. For more podcasts like this, please visit www.rigoldwag.com. at argoldwag.com or search on iTunes Ari Goldwag. [Music]