How to pray like a SOBER ALCOHOLIC

so it's good to be back in Atlanta and especially at Chabad in town where just to give you a an understanding of specialty or the specialness the uniqueness of this particular place as I was walking up to the lectern I asked Robert Schusterman I said oh you know what it would really help for my talk would you have a copy of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and he said yeah I got one in my office so this is going to factor into the talk but I don't know if you know there's not too many shows where you could get that and that's a very special thing and of course we know about the incredible work done here at Jeff's place for the recovery community and how it is seamlessly blended with the spiritual programming that's done for the the butter Community here so yes this is a special place and in case notice that I'm telling you as an an out of town guest this is a very special place okay so really to start off I want to tell you something about the a Jew in recovery I I had a conversation a few years ago with a young man who grew up in a somewhat observant Jewish Home uh they they observed the holidays and and Shabbos and he would say the prayers in Hebrew he'd been to a religious school and he drifted away from that and long story short he what they called uh in recovery he hit bottom he hit rock bottom his life was falling apart faster than he could lower his standards and he eventually came to a program called Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step program the original 12-step program and they told him he has to have a higher power he wasn't really sure what to do about that because as far as he was concerned he didn't have a very good relationship with uh with the God that he was raised with in fact when they told him to do the fourth step inventory and write his his resentments he said my number one resentment was God himself so uh at any rate there's a there's a saying in recovery which is uh take the steps and you will be contacted and that's what happened he he followed instructions he took the steps and eventually he did received that call he felt that God as he understood him had reached out to him and that became a very real feeling for him this feeling of having a a real relationship with with Hashem but he had a little dilemma he told me that it's coming up the the high holidays yeah and he cannot bring himself to go to shul because he said what he learned about God in the program meaning in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous he said he learned how to pray in fact prayer is one of the 12 steps and it says very clearly in step 11. sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out so he pointed out he said look the god that they raised me with didn't work out very well for me the god that contacted me after I found the rooms of recovery they tell me here how to pray sought to prayer meditation improve our conscious contact with God as we understood praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out he says I can't go to shul and Davin that Hashem should give me a good year he says that's toxic for me I'm going to go in there with my laundry list he says that's that's my my alcoholic thinking that wants to get in touch with God because I feel like God works for me and he has to answer to me and he has to give me my checklist of needs he says that that's that's how I was drunk for all those years my sober relationship with God is when I pray praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out the minute I flip it and I start telling God what I need instead of asking God what I'm needed for I'm going to get drunk I'm bringing this out not because I think everybody here can necessarily relate to it but because everybody probably should relate to it because it's a really good question and it's a question that I don't think necessarily everybody thinks of which is is that what it's all about you're supposed to come to shul on the holiest day of the year and tell God what you need you're supposed to tell God here are my problems come fix them that's what the holiest day of the year is for you know Sidis explains the teachings of the balsham the inner Dimension the mystical spiritual teachings of the Torah explain that the real significance of Rosh Hashanah is what we call a crowning a coronation that were crowning Hashem as king or like we say in the in the prayers we say we actually say we say to Hashem rule over the entire world so the point of Rosh Hashanah is we're telling Hashem you're the king we're accepting your Authority in other words we work for you so then how do you reconcile that with the popular notion the way that most people experience it and most people think of it is asking Hashem to work for us when you see people at high holiday Services who are praying and they're crying and they're they're getting all emotional what what are they doing they're they're asking for their needs they're talking to Hashem and saying that you know help me with with health help me with my children help me with my finances they're struggling with this area of life or that area of life or or a relationship that needs mending or or some type of uh a challenge in life that's persistent that's nagging and they're pouring out their hearts and they're crying they're saying Hashem help me but how do we make sense of that are we there to coronate God and tell God we're here to work for you or are we here to tell God this is what we need and we want you to work for us and my friend in recovery was saying for him it's really got to be that I'm here to tell Hashem that I work for him and the minute I start telling Hashem how he's got to work for me that's going to start a very unhealthy cycle I I write in in God of our understanding which was the book I wrote on uh I think that the subtitles Jewish spirituality and recovery from addiction and it's about Jewish spiritually recovery from addiction but I think I wrote in the introduction there that there's a there's an old Yiddish saying that the Jews are like everybody else only more so and I and I and I said addicts are like everybody else only more so that addiction is sort of like the Human Condition writ large it's an exaggeration of the struggles that all human beings have so at any rate I'm pointing out the struggle of this fellow in recovery because I think even though it's not a conflict that most of us relate to because it's a conflict that takes place in recovery then it is it is a conflict that really we should all relate to but we might not automatically relate to it on our own and that's why I'm trying to emphasize it and bring it out and I hope you can relate to the question even if you never had the question before if you had the question before then you're good to go if you never had the question before I hope in the past five minutes I adequately summed it up and you can relate at least to what the Dilemma would be or at least you're sympathetic to someone else having that dilemma okay ah so I want to tell you what I told this guy to help him to be able to go to scholar and Rosh Hashanah as a sober alcoholic I told him that on the first day of Rosh Hashanah the the haftorah reading is the first chapter of Samuel the book of Samuel and it tells a story about a Jewish woman named Khana or in English they say Hannah and but I'll say Hana and Hannah is the mother of shmuel or Samuel Khana was Barren for many years and uh her husband his name was Alcona he used to go every year to the mishkan in shilai that's the Tabernacle or the sanctuary that they had before Solomon built the temple in Jerusalem there was a temporary structure called the mishkan it was in a town called shilai in English I think they call it Shiloh Shiloh like a Civil War battle shouldn't mention it down here right I don't know I don't even know which side what I don't even know which side you guys are on I don't know I don't want to talk about it actually I'm going to stay out of that no politics I'm sure so at any rate Hannah goes to Shiloh I'm going to call it shilai that's the Hamish away to say it so Hannah went to Sheila it sounds so much better than Hannah went to Shiloh right Hannah went to Shiloh Connor went to Sheila and uh she was davening she was praying and what was she praying for she was Bare I told you she was barren so what do you think she was praying for to win the lottery well what was she praying for to have a child of course yeah it's not a trick question he was praying to have a child okay and it's interesting when she's praying to have a child it describes she makes a a deal with Hashem if you're going to give me a son if you're going to give me a son call him I'm going to give him to Hashem all the days of his life you're going to give me a son I'm going to give him to Hashem all the days of his life okay so who's the son for Hashem yeah Khan is saying give me a son so I can give them back to you very good this is such a pleasure to be in the Bible Belt where we can learn some scripture and everybody's getting it the first time okay that's right so Kana is davening for a child but she says right there what the deal is she wants the child to give the child to Hashem so Hashem should give her the child she'd give so she could give the child back to Russia okay now what happens and this is what we read the first day of Rosh Hashanah there was a coin goddel the high priest named Ailey right in English I think they call them Eli but we're going to call him Ailey and he comes in he sees her he sees her diving it was when she was uh praying and Ailey observed her mouth he saw he was looking at her mouth why you know how Jews pray at least the the main prayer the asset are the 18 blessings silently right where does that come from comes from here she started it Hannah is the one who started that the concept of Silent prayer she was the first one who did it that's why we do it we do it in emulation of her it's interesting when you see Jewish men praying they're praying in a way to emulate the way that a woman prayed when she wanted to become a mother so since she's the one who started it when Haley saw it he didn't recognize he didn't know what that was today if you see a Jew praying moving their mouth and not making a sound you know what that is because we've been doing it that way for a few thousand years but before that nobody knew what it was so he was he was watching her mouth thinking what's going on here aliba and Hannah was speaking to her heart meaning she was speaking in her heart noise her lips were moving but her voice was not heard and Ailey thought she was drunk Ali how long are you going to be drunk for remove your wine from you the timer answered him and said no no my master is I'm a broken-hearted woman I didn't drink any wine the ash plate Hashem I'm pouring out my soul before Hashem do not deem your maidservant to be a base woman because it's with much grievance and anger that I've spoken until now Haley answered and said go in peace foreign and God the god of Israel shall Grant your request that you requested of him what's going on in this story if you know anything about the laws the actual laws of the mishkan or the mikdosh the sanctuary in shilai or the Sanctuary they had in the wilderness for 40 years or the temple that was built by Solomon there are laws that regulate what happens in those buildings you can look it up maimonides has chapters and chapters all about it in his code of law and he talks about the prohibition against being drunk there in fact it originates from a story I'm sure many of you are familiar with the story of Aaron's two sons that entered into the holy of holies and they died in one explanation is that they had been drinking which is why immediately after that story Aaron receives the the Commandment from God that the the priests are not to imbibe wine when they're serving and based on that we have an eternal mitzvah that no one is allowed to be drunk in the temple if you learn that law and you understand that law this story doesn't make sense anymore because if Ailey thought that Hannah was drunk he would not have entered into a conversation with her he would have had her tossed out of there immediately immediately that security in the in the mishkan wasn't uh it wasn't just a place every anyone can wander in and there were regulations a drunk person would have been thrown out of there immediately so we have to reapproach the story when he says how long are you going to be drunk for he doesn't mean that she is actually intoxicated that she actually is chemically inebriated because if that were the case if she were literally chemically inebriated you would have thrown her out of there so then what's he saying to her he's saying to her you're in the holiest place in the world you're in the place where Heaven meets Earth and standing here in God's presence rather than being in awe of the spiritual presence of this place what are you doing you're talking about yourself you're self-consumed you're drunk not chemically drunk we all know what a dry drunk is right a dry drunk is somebody they don't have to take a drink in order to be drunk because they're not emotionally sober they're self-consumed they're completely blind to how to be of service how to be useful to others because in that alcoholic way of thinking before they even touch a drop they're obsessed with how to meet their own needs and when once you're obsessed with how to meet your own needs you'll use anyone and anything in order to meet your needs you'll even use God if you have an opportunity to do so so Haley was telling Hannah you're coming into the holiest place on Earth and you're obsessing on your needs and you're using God to meet your needs like he's some Butler you're drunk meaning emotionally drunk you're not emotionally sober so that's what Haley told Khana what did Hannah tell Haley she says no no you got me all wrong I'm a woman of a grieved Spirit a broken-hearted I'm not coming here making demands I came here to offer Hashem a deal I asked Hashem if Hashem would give me and you all know because we read it before Haley came in what it kind of ask Hashem to give her to give her not a child to give her an opportunity to give Hashem a child so whose child is it and who's this prayer for it's for hashan so she explains to Haley you think I'm here with my laundry list you think I'm here making demands you got it all wrong no to the contrary I came here asking Hashem to allow me to serve him in this way I want the opportunity to give Hashem a child so when Haley heard that he said oh very good continue and in fact what you're asking for Hashem is going to give you she flipped the whole thing he thought she was self-absorbed she realized no this whole thing was about service this whole thing was about her desire to give to Asha he then he understood not only she was not emotionally drunk spiritually drunk but to the contrary she was completely sober she was thinking selflessly when he told her that's good continue and you're going to get what you asked for so I I told this young man the young man who was conflicted about davening and Shaw I said this is what Jews all over the world are going to read in shul on the first day of Rosh Hashanah it's a story about a woman who asked Hashem for one thing for the opportunity to be of service for the opportunity to do God's will Haley suspected that she was there to ask to make her life better and ask for selfish things but she clarified that that she was there to serve Hashem and we read this every year we've been reading it for thousands of years and then I said you know what if you look in the big book you're right in the in the 12 steps it does say Step 11 sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out it's true it says that I said but you got to read a little further a few pages further a few pages later when uh it's actually describing step three which three is even before 11. step three is the uh the surrender made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him that's the surrender it's interesting when it describes how to take step three it includes a prayer I've been asked by many people by the way Jews and Recovery whether whether a Jew is allowed to say the prayers from the big book there are prayers that some people say in meetings that come from other religions and that is problematic but the prayers from the big book itself it's not a religious text and uh I encourage people that if they connect to these words to to use these words but anyway with step three on page 63 we were now at step three many of us said to our maker as we understood him and here the uh the co-authors of the big book I have to apologize because when they wrote their prayer I guess they sounded they thought it sounded more holy to use some archaic language and they kind of use some of that uh King James type of pronouns so it sounds a little bit grading on our ears but you'll get past it okay here's the the third step prayer God I offer myself to thee okay that's to thee to you to you okay to you to build with me and to do with me as thou Wilt I'm going to make it normal English God I offer myself to you to build with me and to do with me as you will as you please as you want relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do your will okay so you get the the drift here the first couple sentences this is a prayer of surrender this is a prayer of giving myself to God I'm not setting the terms I'm surrendering to his terms that was not a civil war reference can I joke about the is it too soon okay yeah as long as it's a joke it's just a joke okay it's just a joke okay it's clear from the first two sentences here I'm surrendering to God I'm giving myself to him he's the one calling the shots but listen to the rest of the prayer and this is what I pointed out to this young man who was very conflicted about being in shul with a bunch of people who were praying from a book that talks about having a good sweet year he was afraid to ask God for a good sweet year he thought it would get him drunk but let me continue the prayer here take away my difficulties oh now you're giving God orders all of a sudden it flipped you were surrendering to him to do whatever he wants now all of a sudden you're telling him what to do take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of your power your love and your way of life may I do your will always you catch it take away my difficulties yeah you're asking God to give you an easier life a better life whatever it is that you're struggling with health money Family help me God take away those problems if you can't like kind of you can't have a child give me a child but not for me not because it's better for me but because it's better for you give it to me so I can better serve you that's what Hannah said she said this child's not mine to keep this child is might that it passes through me it goes straight back to God and all I'm asking for is the opportunity to be of service in that way so I showed him the third step prayer I said listen it all depends on why you want a good sweet year if you want a good sweet year because you want a good sweet year yeah you're right it's probably toxic for you and it'll probably be a downward spiral toward taking a drink again because once you start getting selfish you don't know where it's going to end but if you want a good sweet year because you are God's servant and when he gives you a good sweet ear you can serve him better and you can be a better example and a better role model and get other people to serve God then who's good sweet year is it is it yours or is it his you know our forefather Abraham he had a similar uh situation going back to uh we read from the book of Samuel now we're going back to the Book of Genesis the very beginning interesting story here Hashem tells leave your leave the land where you're living where are you going to go I'll let you know when you get there and he comes to he says this is where I want you to settle down and the minute he gets there what happens famine what's he supposed to do stay there and starve you can't stay in Star he has to leave so he goes to to Egypt and uh here's the problem was 75 years old when this story happened and he'd been a monotheist since he was a kid in fact he was kind of famous for it smashed the idols and King nimrod wanted to execute him for it and ever since then he was going around telling everybody about God there's really one God you got to worship the one God so he had a reputation as the big monotheist everybody knew it and then he obeys God this God that he's always talking about he obeys God and he goes to the land of Canaan and he gets there and he gets hit with a famine now I want to ask you a question do you think that that shook avraham's faith no no it did not you think avraham felt that if he listens to God everything has to immediately work out well in a way that he can see no he didn't think that didn't shake his faith so he had to go down to Egypt and uh he had to do whatever he had to do but it's very interesting after he's on his way back he comes back and he's Rich there's a whole story there sort of got abducted the Pharaoh had to release her and he had to pay damages so he comes back from Egypt and he's wealthy and tells us something very interesting here yeah real avram I'm looking at the Genesis 13 1. describing it was called avram at that point not avraham but avram it was coming up from Egypt with his wife also with his brother-in-law named lot or light the avrum covered he was very heavy laden that means he was rich he had a lot of wealth at that point this is after the payoff from from pharaoh the mcnam he had cattle he had silver he had gold that was a wealth in those days of and he went to his travels he went according to his journeys I mean negative from the south what does it mean he went according to his journeys obviously however he went those were those were his journeys it's a little bit funny and you know that there's an incredible economy of language in God's word there are no redundant phrases so Rashi the foremost commentator he jumps right on that because he he went according to his journeys I mean obviously whatever way he went that was his journey so Rashi explains and says he went according to his journeys means that on the way back from Egypt he retraced his steps and he went to the exact same spots that he had visited on his way down to Egypt he went according to his journeys means the journey back up followed the exact same route as the journey down there and Rashi tells us why he did that in order to visit the same hotels that he stayed in on the way down there he stayed he stopped at the same hotels on the way back why to pay his debt because remember the whole reason he had to leave Canaan and go to mitraim is because he was poor and he was starving so when he went to the hotels he couldn't pay them and now he's Rich he got the payoff from from Pharaoh so he goes to the same he couldn't just send them a a PayPal or a cash app he had to actually physically go to those places and he paid them back so there's a fascinating explanation of this from the Sam Cipher who was the the rabbi of of pressburg now called Bratislava and he was a great thinker and leader of European jewelry in the 1800s so the Sam Cipher explains that this story has a deeper meaning when it says that avram went back and retraced his steps and Revisited the same Hotel so he could repay his debts he says it's probably not talking about monetary debts because uh let's be frank who was who was going to extend him credit no one was going to extend him credit he's coming remember means leave your land he's coming from another land he's a he's a brand new immigrant he just got to town doesn't have a state ID you know who are you can I pull your credit like who are you so no one extended him credit the Sam Cipher says it was a different type of debt that he paid the debt was avraham couldn't hold himself back from speaking about God even when his life was a really poor model of what a servant of God should look like in the eyes of people who are skeptical in other words at that point in his life he was not a good advertisement for belief in God I mean it depends if you're already a Believer if you're already a believer that it doesn't bother you what you know why do the righteous suffer you don't have that problem but if you're not yet a Believer and you see a guy who's righteous and talking about God all the time and doing God's Will and then you say well how did it turn out for you well we're starving and we have no money and we have to leave the country and we just arrived here and now we're leaving well that's not a very good testimony to how it works out when you listen to God there's a Jewish concept and term called Hashem means a desecration of the name and it means if God forbid somebody who's religious or visibly religious somebody who you associate with religion does something unseemly so it's not just a personal disgrace it it discredits God because people look at this person they associate that person with God well was a walking billboard for God and he's stopping at these hotels and they're asking him oh how's life and he's telling them you know he doesn't lie he tells him the story well I listened to God I left my home I came to a new land and now I'm starving and we have to relocate again so people were pretty unimpressed they were like whoa well thank you for warning me not to listen to this God because I don't want my life to also go the way your life is going some safe explains that avraham could not abide by that that was not going to be okay his whole purpose in life was to teach people about the one God he couldn't live with this idea that all the people who had met him on his way down to Egypt might think that if you listen to God you're not going to have a good life now it didn't bother him remember when he was having troubles in life it didn't shake his faith he didn't feel that just because he listens to God he's owed a good life doesn't bother him but he knew it bothered others he knew that the Skeptics weren't going to be very impressed or even worse it could be fodder for them they could weaponize it so he made a decision now that my life is going well in the way that everyone can agree to it going well now that I'm rich I mean what do people value money so now that they see that I have wealth you know what I'm going to do I'm going to make sure to go back to every single one of those people who saw me when my life was objectively speaking from an outside perspective when my life was not going well I'm going to revisit them all and show them how it turned out like Paul Harvey used to say the rest of the story and that was incredibly important to him this also this also explains a lot of other things that we read about avraham I mean right in the beginning of Paris talking about the previous I read from chapter 13. so this from chapter 12. when Hashem tells him leave your land Hashem says I'm going to make you into a great nation I'm going to make your name great I'm going to make you famous Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous why did avram care about being famous or I'll flip to a little bit later um uh chapter 15. after the war when he went to go uh rescue his brother-in-law a light don't be afraid I'm going to protect you your reward is very great your reward is very great Abram cares about reward it's the same questions the same answer why is Hashem telling this this selfless spiritual think since he was a kid he was ready to go totally sacrifice himself he never he never worried about himself he only worried about Hashem and Hashem is telling him don't worry this is gonna be good you're gonna become famous don't worry you're going to get a lot of reward like how is that congruent so you have to understand From avram's perspective he doesn't need to be famous he doesn't need to be wealthy he doesn't need to have a good reputation he doesn't need any of that but he values those things because he knows how people look at him and that he represents God here on Earth and therefore when he has a good life meaning objectively what other people consider a good life that's great PR for God this this is what it says here this is the third step prayer God I offer myself to thee right complete surrender to build with me and to do with me as thou Wilt right I'm not in charge you're in charge at your service reporting for Duty relieve me of the bondage of self getting total selflessness that I may better do thy will I'm here to work for you you don't work for me I work for you take away but then it does that pivot take away my difficulties hold on a second all of a sudden you're making demands that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of thy power thy love and thy way of life may I do thy will always so that's the prayer the prayer is give me a good sweet year give me Health give me sustenance livelihood money give me good relationships a marriage that's healthy and good relationships with my children and with my with my family and with my neighbors and my co-workers give me a good life and in objective terms a good life why not because I'm demanding it because this is what I need but because I've already given myself to you Hashem I'm yours I belong to you and now everything you give to me is just an opportunity for me to give that back to you so uh this young man I spoke to him he did pray in troll that year and he was able to ask God for a good sweet year and have it be no contradiction with the underlying theme of Rosh Hashanah of where we had we asked Hashem to rule over the world and I think also that year they started after services a uh an AAA meeting in the library at that show so this is this is the bottom line here if you're an independent operator if your life is your life and God is just basically there because you can't avoid him because he's bigger than you stronger than you he's got all the stuff that you want then yeah it's probably not appropriate to go bother him and ask him for stuff especially on the holiest day of the year probably not very emotionally sober probably self-indulgent but if you've given yourself all of yourself to him then what what can't you ask for it's all for him it's not for you it's for him there was uh gathering in 770 in Crown Heights in Brooklyn labovitch World Headquarters and it happened to have been that that week a uh a rabbi alabavatory Rabbi had been interviewed on the radio and somebody I think it was a caller or maybe it was the host I don't I don't think there are any recordings of this but that ABBA spoke about it at the Gathering so that's how it became a famous thing somebody asked this rabbi how come the Torah punishes people for things that are really Nobody's Business like I understand every society has to punish murderers I get that but like something that's your personal business like Shabbos I think they they brought out in the question they were like do you know that in according to Torah it says the Sabbath violator will be stoned I mean you're going to kill a guy for Sabbath so the the rabbi was being interviewed said well it never happened he says the talmud tells us that in the times when the court could give the death penalty one opinion is that if it happened once in seven years that was considered like a bloodthirsty Court another opinion is if it happened once in 70 years it was a bloodthirsty court so he said basically yeah it's on the books technically it's true but in reality and never it was so rare because they would find loopholes how to exonerate people and how to never actually carry out the the death penalty so that's what the rabbi answered so the debit conveyed this and that ABBA said you know he could have answered a more compelling answer he said the answer was okay but what did he do he essentially said yeah it's true but it just it's not as often as you thought it was that episode there's a there's there would have been a better answer a more compelling answer and he could have drawn from recent events in the world this is back in the in the 60s so that week there had been a manned space flight so that ABBA said he could have used that as a as a as an allegory you could have explained like this NASA trains astronauts and they spend a lot of money and a lot of time training these astronauts to have this specialty and they spend a lot of money to build the the spacecraft and the launch and the whole team the launch Team and everyone all the scientists involved there's a lot of expense and a lot of time that goes into it and so they launched these these astronauts up into space and imagine if while he's uh on a on a mission he's up there in the in the the the the Space Capsule whatever it is and uh the astronaut says oh I've got a couple minutes free I got a break before I got to do my next thing and he wants to light up a cigarette on the Space Capsule so needless to say you're not allowed to do that and to do so would jeopardize the entire Mission and not just all the money and the time and the effort but even would be a risk to human life so I'm Sorry Charlie you're not allowed to light up a cigarette even though technically you're on your two minute break so that ever said he could have said like this you're asking how can Torah be so invasive how can Torah dictate the way that you do private things that don't affect your neighbor well that's only a troubling question if you think you're a civilian but if you realize that we're all astronauts and we're all on a mission every single one of us here is on a mission and when you're on a mission there's no such thing as downtime there's no such thing as private time me time it only affects me there's no such thing every single moment you're on that spacecraft you are indebted to everyone else who's involved in the mission and to carrying out the goal of that mission so don't tell me that's your personal business there's no such thing as personal business it's all for the mission and that's really what what it's all about is realizing that we're constantly on duty there's no we're not civilians there's no break from this we are at service 24 7. now that sounds so daunting it sounds so precious hold on a second just wait a second do you understand the implications of this this is a beautiful thing when you not only you work for Hashem you belong to Hashem then whatever you need to better fulfill your mission it's his problem to get it to you and when you ask for it you're not being selfish you're not being annoying oh you know maybe could I get a little bit of this go ask for it proudly because it's for the mission whatever you need for the mission ask for it you need a bigger house for the mission ask for it you need to raise this year ask for it whatever it is if it's for you don't ask for it but if it's for the mission then there's nothing to be ashamed of just like Hannah wasn't ashamed she said no you got me all wrong I'm not here to be self-indulgent quite the contrary I'm here to surrender myself entirely to a shop okay I'll tell you one last story I think I told it here before but it was years ago since I've been here so I'll just tell you this one's one of my old favorite ones and it's about the guy driving down the highway at night he's all depressed and he says God if you're out there I want you to know I hate my life I hate everything about it I'm begging you God I can't go on anymore with this terrible life God give me a new life and all of a sudden wouldn't you know it he hears the voice of God right there in his car answering him God says my son you've asked for a new life I got a new life for you right here the guy says okay thank you God give me my new life God says hold on a second it's not free it's going to cost you the guy says how much God says how much do you have on you the guy says I got twenty dollars on me God says Okay so the price of your new life is 20 20 exactly twenty dollars the guy says but you're gonna clean me out that's what I have that I'm going to give you all my money he says look at the gas gauge here on this car I'm driving like it's almost empty I'm gonna run out of gas and I won't have money I won't be able to get gas God says oh that's a great point yeah I forgot you have a car the price of your new life just went up it's twenty dollars in your car the guy says hold on a second God if I give you my car how am I going to get to work in the morning God says oh you have a job price of your new life just went up it's twenty dollars your car and your job guy says God if I give you my job how am I going to pay the mortgage God says oh a mortgage that means you're a homeowner great the price of your new life has now gone up again it is twenty dollars your car your job and your house the guy says God if I give you my house where my wife and children going to live God says oh wife and children yeah yeah I forgot about that the price of your new life is twenty dollars your car your job your house your wife and children the guy realizes at this point that every time he opens his mouth it gets worse so he's not going to speak anymore now he's not going to speak so God says taking it all but before I give you your new life God says I'm taking it all your stuff taking your twenty dollars in your car job your house your wife your kids have taken it all but before I give you your new life I want something else from you can you do something else for me at this point the guy knows better than to speak just says um God says okay here's what I want you to do for me God says see this twenty dollars it's not your twenty dollars God says it's my twenty dollars you used to have twenty dollars you don't anymore it's mine God says I want you to spend this twenty dollars but it's not your twenty dollars it's my twenty dollars God says so you have to spend it only on what I would want to buy can you do that mm-hmm God says you see this car you used to have a car just like this you don't anymore it's my car God says I want you to drive it but because it's my car you only drive it where I want it to go you can do that mm-hmm you see this job it's not your job God says it's my job but I want you to show up there every day and I want you to do business the way I would do business and I want you to treat your co-workers the way that I would treat your co-workers can you do that God says see the house it's not your house God says it's my house you gave it to me it's mine but I want you to live in it but because it's my house when you live in it you can only use it the way that God's house should be used see this wife and children they're not your wife and children God says they're my wife and children and I want you to treat them the way that God's wife and children ought to be treated can you do that for me [Music] God says okay so I think we have a deal over here 's your twenty dollars here's your car here's your job here's your house here's your wife and kids and here's your new life what's the difference between your old life and your new life it's the same stuff just a question of ownership to whom does it belong and if we belong to him Our Lives belong to him everything we have belongs to him then it's all for his glory so it comes Rosh Hashanah we're going to do two things that are seemingly antithetical but they're not at all I hope you see that after I've been speaking so long how they're not antithetical two things that seem antithetical we're going to give it all away to God complete surrender and we're going to ask him for a good sweet year with health and sustenance and good relationships and all the things that make a good life because it's not our life anymore it's his life okay everyone should have a really beautiful sweet healthy happy New Year make it a good one okay [Applause]