Counting the Omer - Tiferet of Netzach - Rabbi Alon Anava

[Music] another shame we are going to be counting tonight tthe bernetta so we're talking the last two days about the power in us to be victorious to be successful and explain how the trippity ferret is the love the desire to be victorious and successful and the gua is to know how to play by the rules and life is a game in this world is a game one big game today we're gonna be counting the tafero chip on itself which is the beauty in the competition and we're very competitive all this life is competitive whether it's with the business relationships everything else now in every game no one's gonna be a winner there's always gonna be a loser that's how it works you can't have two winners but there's if it's done the right way there's a very healthy balance between the winner and the loser and there's always gonna be that this is something that is hard for us to accept because we always want to be on the winning side but sometimes you are on the losing side that's how it works and needless to say that besides the fact that we want to always be winners and we want to be successful and victorious but sometimes you also know how to do to lose you need to know to lose now when there's a very healthy balance that's where the beauty the the revelation of the beauty happens when there's a balance it can be relationship between a husband and wife just to give us a little example and they're in the relationship this has to be a give-and-take you can call it give-and-take and call it winner or loser because there's arguments disagreements if there's a very healthy balance that's when you the beauty of the relationship is being revealed there's not a healthy balance then there's not gonna be any beauty revealed there and then you go to the to the psychologist the the whatever the marriage counselor wherever it is you go complain to the Shekhar Nate why did you send me that woman she's driving me nuts I wanna I want a refund I want to start all over but nevertheless but nevertheless that's when the beauty is not revealed that most couples they don't know how to reveal the beauty within the relationship this is one example are many when there's a good balance between both sides here we're gonna call them a winner and a loser but nevertheless when people when you play by the rules in anything in life then there's harmony and when there's harmony then the beauty is being revealed and this is the ferret the pellet is the beauty now when is really the beauty being revealed when you see that both sides are needed if you see that only one side is needed then there's not never going to be beauty here and again it can be compared in a relationship and can be emphasized in many ways but we'll stick to the examples of relationships because that's what we what we are busy all our lives and it doesn't necessarily be my relationship with my wife could be my relationship with my neighbor and with my competitor even I have a business you have a business where competitors many years ago when I became observant I shared with you so many times that I had a photography business and when I came into the market and there were other photographers so there were few there were very very upset where is this guy coming now here there's new blood now I came by OVA with a whole different approach into the observant world and they were very traditional and they're very quickly the killers were who made me very successful so I had competitors that didn't like me at all tried in whatever way possible to make me fail which was very go to an observant Jew to make somebody else fare instead of being a having a VAT Israel and whatever a shame is the one who's giving you parmesan and the most disgusting ways tried to make me to fail but there were other competitors that we were very good friends we got friendly we were good healthy competitors there's enough part of myself for everybody in the world because those book was the one was giving partners up and not the yellow pages I mean yellow pages is like a dinosaur tell a kid now yellow pages they'll be like what so but never yeah whatever the huh nevertheless this can be this relationship we're talking about can be in business and it could be a competitor that is resentful and hateful and tries to to constantly make you fail and they can be a competitive this is okay there's you know any pizzeria Havel shall I'm how many pizzerias seven eight it's tough for everybody nevertheless when does the when you see when is revealed the need for both sides that's when the beauty is revealed unfortunately in our world we are so pulling to one direction that in any type of relationship you don't see Beauty here because everybody a very very self-centered centered they don't see that in any relationship has to be both two sides and again you can define it as a winner or loser but nevertheless it has to be two sides and again the relationship can be between me and my wife can be between me and a stranger can be between me and my neighbor I mean a business competitor anything how it has to be two sides now how does that come to really that you see this this beauty that is revealed in the two sides when one respects and appreciates the other if there's no appreciation and respect to the other even if again even if it's a competitor then the beauty the t ferret of the nets ax will never be revealed and then needless to say there's no beauty than this opposite of beauty then it's only ugly fights arguments disagreements and so forth so the ferret the TIF eret of the net sock is when every side praises the other side and and then respects the other side but very important is the praising of the other side you did amazing you did great like I told you go back to the same example then there now you had was running the photography business in the market was like maybe the five dominating photographers at the time and Basham there was enough for everybody there's a lot of a lot of observant Jews in in America but the ones that were not competitive in a disgusting way we're mean another to photographers and we're you know showing each other pictures and comparing with each other and complimenting each other all here is it amazing it's a very healthy normal relationship when I couldn't make it to an event I would send out you go instead of me and we were covering on each other this is how two people have to work together we're not trying that the other two were constantly trying to sabotage any any any any move and which was my first encounter my negative encounter in there observing the world I was like what a person prays three times a day wears a yarmulke and observe Shabbat eats cultures particularly Mitzvah but he's can't make space for another person or what am I your man I'm young I'm your enemy can you take me the food out of your mouth nevertheless we have to understand we're not by ourselves in this world this world has seven billion people most people think that they the world revolves around them and the world there are they at the center of the world everybody else is nothing and I am the center and that's not how it works we have to understand that where we are a lot of people in this world and even in my own world my community my show my family my neighborhood I'm not myself here there's other people and you know what our success are depending on each other and not only that they're connected to each other if I'm successful everybody has to be happy and when you are successful in your success what everybody has to be happy to each other because our successor is all connected to each other and going again back to the same example what I gave before with the photography the when the ones the group that we were good the success was shared because like I said we were switching jobs getting each other jobs the other ones there was nothing going on it was nothing beautiful there it was though disgusting disgusting a relationship and this is again this is example with business can be an example with the with the relationship if I'm successful my wife will be successful if she's successful unsuccessful my kids my parents doesn't matter what are we share success now what is the beauty I mean today we're focusing on the tea fair that you felt is beauty the beauty is when there's harmony there's a relationship here now one thing that we want to take from that practically that we shouldn't be afraid of any type of competition not in business not in relationship and you know one way where you can see different a different approach to our relationship is between siblings in a family now you see it more when they're young not when they're older but even when they're older there's a lot of competition in their siblings who gets the more attention from the parent who gets more praised by the parent who gets the more the better room in the house we have arguments in the house how come he has two windows and I have only I want they're my windows turn this way and this windows turning that way and my room is three and a half square feet more than him and but nevertheless this is where you see also that their relationships are very competitive so again I'm just throwing the ideas you can digest it and and analyze it to what you feel is relating to you but first of all most important what we need to learn is we shouldn't be afraid of being competitive of any type of competition whether it's business whether it's any anything even you know there's also a competitive attitude in a yeshiva who's the more more brighter student who's the student that gets it first in mind is she was when I was learning there was one guy nobody liked him because he was competitive in a very negative way he was Bhuvana trying to prove to everybody that he understood there it who cares if you understood better what it makes you a better individual so you understood more than me big deal so you earned another pager to me it was done a very not nice way so one should not be afraid of any type of competitive competition and needless to say one should not be afraid of any type of relationship most people are afraid of relationships they're kind of like a keeper keep your distance I don't want to get into a relationship when I don't know if I'm gonna have control in this relationship or lose control now we have to remember they're also competitive being competitive or any type of competition is just what promotes and helps when you have to two athletes competing makes the other where it makes them all become better if nobody's competing with me why would I strive to become better so competitive the whole idea of winning losing it's a very positive thing now excuse me yeah exactly you're not so flame tommy bahama now what how do I apply that to my life first and most important I have to be extremely extremely cautious that I never cross my boundaries there is a term a holic term I don't know the correct term in English in Hebrews called a cigar cool that I'm going into somebody else's boundary this is not allowed oh sonal out you're in according to Aloha not talking here now morally I'm not out to go into somebody else's boundary whether it's business whether it's a a property here in fact we have a big problem with that everybody all the houses on top of each others a lot of us I got born here and even in business in different relationship first of all I have to be very cautious that I'm never going into somebody else's territory territory I mean I mean again the English term is and maybe space in Hebrew again the term is not psychotic vulgar loose a border or a domain can't go into somebody else's domain more than that I can't I have to be very careful that I'm not making something on somebody else's back this can be specifically in business and we can mean many other things I have to be very good distance I got bull s'eye gothic Valle is if that I can go into somebody else's field into his dome I can make money on somebody else's back to be very careful from that this is something that other people fail in people are very particular about a lot of Meatwad but there's a whole lost long list of mitzvot the people just completely ignore and and usually it's between Benedum maha vailo and this is a very severe of your eyes as I got wouldn't love to do that so well first of all practically saying I have to be very careful to be very careful with a psychotic goal I have to be very careful was not riding on somebody's back now there is a Mishnah one of the most powerful mission mission ayaats in attracted a vote that when I first read it it was very profound and the Mishna says the iman kavaja have evil efficacy Allah the the wealth or the finance the money the property of your friend should be favored favorable in your eyes like as if it's your own most people don't know how to apply that most people if it's not they're all little records people look rent-a-car maybe they don't care and they just drive they fly over the speed bumps they want to test the suspension to see if it will really support the jump and you go into a hotel wreck the hotel I mean are you I'm just saying a lot of people when it's not theirs they don't care very reckless this mission that comes and tells us you have to take care of other people's property like it's their own property and much more than that this is the title and this is a mamushka avati said this is my mashup live after a hakama ha that you take care of somebody else's property their wealth their money sometimes you will go to a place and they and you will be very reckless with the with the you know give an example here some people I mean some people that's their nature also at home but some people when they are at home they turn the lights off they're running the water is running they'll turn it off they'll be very careful with the their electricity bill they come to somebody else's place I don't care let it do the work for 12 hour somebody so nice the magista builder so and that's where how a lot of people behave so this is V my monocle ha have you gonna Sherlock I'm particular within my own house I pay a lot of money in electricity bills I turn lights off and the dude and some people they come to go to somebody else okay so mine I don't get the hot waters running here for two hours this is a type of a cigar cool so yours don't wait somebody else's money and they're under and their wealth their property this is a one form of a cigar cool there are a few topics that we I think we really should start learning more thoroughly one of them is gizelle nobody knows how to really follow gas then people are failing in gazel then right we just read that last week in the parasha in kaduche in seoul exalt not to do Gaza Gaza is not exactly stealing gazelle is when you take somebody's and you you wasting somebody's money you stealing their their their money without them knowing stealing you break through the window and you come in and you have my god my bike my VCR it was taken you know that somebody stole it guess it you don't even know that somebody took from you besides that stealing you sneaks through the door at night through the window guess they're like in the student family and I can do gazel to you but nevertheless this is one of us severe things but I got cool is a very serious thing and other people they don't understand really what it means but nevertheless I constantly have to have the awareness when I want to put it into practicality is that I'm not going into somebody else's domain that I know what are my boundaries there's a very healthy can be a healthy relationship here between one and the other but I need to know my boundaries and I need to know to cross to other people's boundaries and I need to understand more more thoroughly that sometimes in the relationship you are the winner and I'll be the loser I mean it sounds bad the loser but sometimes you have the upper hand sometimes I have it sometimes you give in sometimes I give in this is the idea of Netta let's after the concept of needs a horn of winning but you know sometimes I great a winner when he knows how to lose that's your time to win right now it's your time to have success it's your time to have the spotlight on you I'll be right now in my in my corner nothing wrong with that so it's a very powerful week the whole week of Nets up to really put a sinner the right perspective how I deal with life and the most important practical thing here that I have to apply here is to understand that there's gonna a lot of people around me there's to be space and room for everybody and I should be happy when somebody else is successful there is the same in the same track that in my second about it says Bill Paul or even hearty smile when you see your enemy fall don't start a party you you know the the there's a there's a question we just finished pizza in the first two days of pays up for the ones who are celebrating the dance poor we celebrate one day we say the whole Holland and in the last day of pay stuff we only say have fun in why you only say half a little because on the last day of pay stuff it's when they cross the ocean and the Egyptians died and when they were about to sing the Shem says whoa whoa whoa my creatures are drowning right now don't make a party here it's no time for you to sing so the Mishna says don't be so happy when you see your enemy fail usually when you see a competitor is store goes up on fire you know you dance it off so sorry it's so sad it's such a loss and you go how many crack up so you you you have to get rid of this approach that you have to be extremely happy when even your enemy is successful because first of all it's a shame that's giving him the success unfortunately in our generation somebody else is a little bit more successful than you right away he's the biggest enemy right away everybody let's see how we're destroying him because he's a little bit more successful than me this just goes to show how a person has zero a munna in the calash mewho well you don't think that the kadosh proposed the one who's giving you the success and he's giving your neighbor the success the shame is choosing who's made who's gonna be successful if I'm jealous and upset and angry because somebody else is doing better than me where's your Munna how are you believing in a sham you think that you have any control here and unfortunately in our communities you see it all the time somebody else is a little bit more better he has a lot more student and the other he has much more and and chapter of Zulu is now the enemy of the universe but nevertheless we have to be very aware take the power of the the competitive power in me but you also know that a real winner knows how to sometimes step aside and say it's time for you to stand on the podium it's time for you to be the winner here and you know what when you win I'm with a winner - we're all together my success is your success your success is also my success and this can mean a personal relationship and it can be in a very large a scope relationship and needless to say that when I apply that the ultimate winner is me I'm the one who's bringing harmony other one was bringing a closeness and love and unity and another shame should really know how to apply that because we failed specifically in that we film big time and in many different departments so to say needless to say the owner is coming here to you know to adjust to adjust the loose bolts like a spiritual chiropractor the point is to know how to apply it needless to say when we applied life becomes better the world becomes better the shear comes past you [Music]