The Importance of Hakaras Hatov - Rabbi Chaim Jachter

it's very famous actor from Teaneck New Jersey from TABC and Cheryl ra and I want to share with you a difficult uh time that my wife and I experienced and a story that happened how we helped with it our daughter Heidi pora was down syndrome was born with a severe heart defect called an AV canal and she required a very very significant surgery risky surgery at age of six months and thank God the surgery went very very well but as he was incorporating in the hospital from the surgery she contacted she contracted RSV which is a very very severe virus and it can potentially deadly rachmaninance line and this was a very very difficult moment my wife and I had to cope with this artist six month old daughter with Down Syndrome just had a such a severe surgery and now has to somehow the six-month-old baby has to muster up the strength to fight off the the RSV and how how how do you guys do that so we got through my wife's attitude she said to me look at all these doctors who are here too to help heitzy Paul look at all of these nurses look at all this Machinery look at all this technology instead of my wife focusing on the negative and saying oh it's so sad oh well what was us instead she focused on the positive and by focusing on the other positive and looking at that cars I told so all these people all this technology that's here to to help us we have to be so we have to be so appreciative of that and I got us through that that difficult time and even now looking back on it our uh it was a wonderful wonderful uh young lady but those that have experience with children without social will know that sometimes they could be stubborn so my wife always reminds me remember she sees that is a little bit of a stubborn streak because it was that strong personality that got her through as a six-month-old baby who was able to withstand a such a such an intense surgery I'm able to withstand RSV after the after the surgery with this we can understand the very interesting devara bubble Karma on Saturdays tomorrow wants to know what's in my car what's the source to our car so tell where we know that we're supposed to be focusing on the good that people do for for us and the kubark is a very interesting answer it tells us from Austin Texas we're not supposed to despise an Egyptian why could get our use of ourselves because we were guests in their land now let's think about this for a moment that's quite a positive that's quite a demand that Hashem is making us upon us we should not despise you hate the Egyptian considering everything they did to us when we were a bit Shrine when they enslaved us for 116 years they enslaved us we were there for 210 years so 116. we're very very difficult they threw our banks in the novel enslaved us they tortured us and we're supposed to not despise such people how can it be well the Tara tells us Gary it's about itself you are guessing that land and for 94 of those of the 210 years roster when you left you left with with a lot of wealth that we've got in in Paris just go this week and the focus the Torah is telling us when you have a mixed bag you know a mixed situation like the story with my wife taught me uh very very very very well you can focus on a negative you could but no don't do that but let's pause the gemara and the possible to have my three it's telling you focus on the positive don't just look at the negative look look at we of course remember what happens if it's drying at the Seder every day but no we also have to we also can't be dwelling on that we can't despise the Egyptian we also have to have a chorus a toad and this is a life quality issue it is a game-changing light quality issue if one chooses in a mixed situation to focus on the good instead of dwelling on the bad that increases enhances a person's quality of life dramatically you just end off with one story The gumara and ivamos tells us whose wife was uh he frequently gave him a hard time but the gamar records that I'll be here every opportunity he saw us saw something that his wife would like he bought her a president bought her presence constantly his father Rob saw this and said I don't understand she's always giving you a hard time why are you buying your presence to his father I choose to focus on good I chose to focus the way she the way she raises our children and and and and and and and and so and and in many ways she helps me and and and that is going to be what I'm going to focus on I'm gonna Focus I choose to focus on the good and therefore I've made myself a happy life with her because I just chose to focus on the good and therefore I give her presence out of gratitude out of my cosmetology that I feel for her so let's follow the example of the gemara sets in in bubble common you've almost the Torah already is telling us to focus on the good not just when it's obvious but even when it's not obvious when you have a mixed bag focus a focus don't dwell on the bed focus on the good