Don't be a Rabbi (or any leader) if you can't do this

what I learned from this Rabbi is an incredible ability to connect with people in a very human way okay friends The Story begins we are diving into tractate kuub kot 17A the link that we had sent it's going to be the second paragraph and um we actually discussed the beginning of this section A couple weeks ago where we spoke about the various customs in how to praise a bride why you would praise a bride how you praise a bride and the talud then continues a statement from RI if you look at the second paragraph you see it when rimi came from erel from the land of Israel to Babylonia to B he said this is what they sing before the Brides In the West in the land of Israel no ey Shadow no I sorry no Rouge no like makeup and no braiding of the hair and yet she's compare comparable to a graceful IEX is that a IEX or an IEX anybody know trying to find the text where you're looking but I've always heard IEX in English IEX what's an IEX it's a it's a uh clean animal that the long Chau far is made from oh okay I see okay fine so she's compared to an IEX the gamor then relates that when the sages ordained RAB zra RAB zra is one of the venerable sages of the talmud this is what they' say they metaphorically saying with regard to him in this praise they said the same exact praise to him no eyes Shadow no Rouge this Rabbi doesn't wear eyes Shadow this Rabbi doesn't wear makeup this Rabbi doesn't braid his hair and he's comparable to a graceful Ibex okay that's an interesting statement they're ordaining RAB zra he's becoming a rabbi and they're praising his great Rabbi qualities his great Academia his great understanding of the talmud this guy doesn't wear makeup and doesn't do much with his hair doesn't braid it what does that have to do with rabinal ordination how is that a praise let's take a step back for a second what what is ordination the Hebrew word what they call ordination in English right yeah they ordained RAB zra what is the Hebrew word SM what does SM mean so we know this from the Torah when Moshe Rao when Moses was handing over the Reigns to Joshua he supported his hands on Joshua metaphorically saying like like I'm going to be relying on you that's called SM to support to rely to lean on so traditionally rinic ordination has been called SM now SM of old is not SM of new what we call rinic ordination these days is not what rabinal ordination was what rabinal ordination was so Moshe receives the Torah from sin directly from God which means his understanding of Hal his interpretation of Hal is authoritative he then qualifies Joshua because he taught Joshua Joshua then qualifies the next group of Scholars and the next group of Scholars qualify the next and there's this unbroken chain of rabbis that have been educated from somebody who's been educated all the way going back to Moses and that's what SM traditionally meant and in order to make certain Hal rulings you need SM I'll give you an example you cannot have capital punishment in Judaism without SM without a based in without a rical court a panel of rabbis that have SM that have this ancient SM um just side note this type of SM doesn't exist anymore it ended with the T one of the reasons why the tal is so authoritative is because these rabbis actually these rabis actually knew something right they uh they were they were ordained by somebody who was they had an unbroken tradition from Moses um SM these days is I mean it's the idea of it's the same wisdom that's unbroken but the authority is not the same what essentially means is you have permission from your Rabbi to make rulings to interpret which is a very big deal um there's a question by the way how legitimate SM is these days how necessary it is these days I mean everything's in the book just look in the books right um at any rate rabi zra is an incredible scholar and they're giving him SM by the way just to highlight how intense um and how studious he was the talmud says that you know there's there's a bit of a difference between the Babylonian talmud and the Jerusalem talmud you know the difference I mean the main difference is it's a very different style of learning the Jerusalem talmud is pretty clear-cut the the way the talmud is structured it's kind of a running commentary on the mishna and the talmud will ask questions on the mishna and in the Jerusalem tomwood you'll have answers and with those answers you'll have conclusions in in Jewish the Babylonian tud is a lot more complicated because you'll have the mishna you'll have a question on the mishna the tud will challenge the premise of that question the Tom will will challenge the premise of that question and then challenge the premise of that premise and say bring me a source that eventually you'll get to a conclusion sometimes even the same conclusion maybe not always it's a lot more of a a roundabout way it's a longer route with that longer route comes clarity now RAB zra was from B from Babylon so he was studying the Babylonian style of of learning he comes to Jerusalem and he realizes he's going to have to learn but he's have to learn his learning is going to be very different so the tal says he fasted 40 fasts to forget the entire Babylonian talmud now again bonian talud is still in the process of being written but I think it means the Babylonian style of Le learning so he could adopt the Jerusalem talmud the Jerusalem style of learning the learning of clarity the learning of sharpness I'm sharing this with you just to illustrate the studiousness studiousness of RAB now what kind of Praise is this this is a great scholar no eyeliner no makeup doesn't even braid his hair what are they what are they talking about what are they saying so I'd like to share with you three interpretations and from these three interpretations we are going to understand the qualities that leadership should have make sense interpretation number one is by the mahara the mahara is one of the commentaries on the talwood that focuses a lot on the aad portion of talmud on the on the homo parts of T the eth of talmud the ethical parts of the talmud not just theic parts of talmud and he says what is this what do these three things represent him not wearing eyeliner you wouldn't expect him to right him not wearing makeup him not braiding his hair these are metaphorical as we mentioned in previous uh discussions the general rule of thumb is when the talmud is discussing it's literal when the talmud is discussing philosophy it's often metaphorical what's the metaphor here eyeliner means something covering your eye it's almost like a lens and RAB zra didn't have lenses on he had Clarity we mentioned he went from Babylon to Jerusalem from a way of studying that required unpacking details to Raw clarity and with that came Clarity had Clarity his vision wasn't tainted his vision wasn't tainted by his own biases his vision wasn't tainted by his own agendas and desires just pure access to truth no eyeliner he didn't have any makeup on his face he wasn't trying to hide he wasn't trying to create a certain image uh a certain theatrical uh Persona of this is the type of this is what I want leadership to look like this is what I want people to buy into essentially he was genuine he was real and the third thing was he didn't braid his hair the Mah explains what is the significance of long hair presumably he had short hair so what's the significance of long hair what type of male traditional Judaism would have long hair anybody know from the Torah a nazer a Nazir is a person who takes upon himself to not cut his hair to not drink wine to stay away from impurities such as a cemetery as a cenwood and it's funny the Torah gives people permission to adopt a nazer lifestyle as if they wanted to live a holy sacred lifestyle separate from the world separate from people the Torah frowns upon it though it's ironic it's one of those things where it's like a Mitzvah that you can opt to do yet it's frowned upon why is it frowned upon because you shouldn't have to be in that situation but some people are in that situation some people are in a situation where they need to vow and separate themselves from the world because they get too Imes in the world too easily R zra was the type of leader who was not separate from the world he didn't have long hair like a nazer he didn't have nuer qualities he wasn't on a holier than now he wasn't on a high horse he wasn't he was grounded in reality he was approachable and a rabbi needs both of these things a rabbi can't just understand Torah a rabbi has to understand the reality to which Torah applies and that's true in any leadership uh position but with that has to come a high level of approachability you have to be able to approach that person they have to be approachable there's a story I mean it's an old story and I'm sure it happened many times with many rabbis where um a lady had a a simple question about kosher in the kitchen she runs into theiva asks the rabbi the question he says let me research it for you she he says come back soon she leaves and all the students are like Rabbi we all know the answer to this come on don't mix milk and meat like it wasn't that complicated of a question why couldn't you just tell her the answer he says because I want to respect her question she needs to realize that we're approachable if I shoot at an answer she might doubt the validity of her question and not ask questions in the future NE Zera was approachable he wasn't on the high horse he wasn't separate from the world he understood people's needs I'll tell you a great story it's a bit of a weird story but I'm going to say it when I was I was working at a yiva in Florida yiva for young college age students discovering Judaism for the first time many of them still exploring Judaism for the first time some of them went to Hebrew school as kids some of them did not some of them had a zero educational background and they're exploring Judaism in depth for the first time they're learning a full day they're learning they're learning tal and some of these students are here for a year some of them are here for a couple months everybody has their own story and somehow the conversation came up that a couple of these guys did not have a kosher bris as a kid you know they had a hospital circumcision but not not by a mo which means you got to do it again no I'm kidding but what that does mean are you familiar with this procedure if somebody did not get a proper bris by m Mo there is a procedure called hatas which means yeah poking it's a small poke almost like like like a diabetic might you know drawing a a microscopic amount of blood symbolically because blood is a part of the bris service and even though the circumcision took place they never got the blood drawn in a Kosher Way and that has to be done separately and that's done by a moel I I don't remember how this came up in conversation nor do I want it no I'm just [Laughter] kidding um I think there was a bris at at the sh or something that we were at at the school we were whatever it was there was there was like and I said to couple of the guys you know you really should consider doing this and they're like yeah no we'll pass I'm like like guys it doesn't hurt just do it like how do you know go shcks I I I felt like this is important they're going to especially some of these guys were really on the trajectory of integrating within the community and they're going to find themselves getting married and raising kids in a Jewish community and send Kiva and they should have the basics down have a proper bris and I'm trying to convince them and finally they agree they're going to go to the Mo's house who lived locally and he's going to help help them out this moel this moel looked like a very serious guy but when you get to know him he was great personality as most moel are right um but you look at him you might be intimidated you see a rabbi with a long Gray beard with the side locks and black coat and he's you know and they're like doing this guy's house he says he turns to them he says okay guys pull your pants down and he pulls out this huge [Laughter] machete they panicked they freaked out he put down the knife he's like I'm kidding I'm kidding um it was a be it was a beautiful way to clear the it was a beautiful way to clear the air um but what I learned from this Rabbi is an incredible ability to connect with people in a very human way not being too holy for people not being on the high horse being genuine being real just being a real normal good person that people want to call um and again I think this is true in the Rabin it's true with Raba but it's true with any leadership position um sometimes there's going to be high level for certain rabbis of certain stature there is going to be distance there is going to be space there is going to be maybe reverence or respect but if together with that and I'm not saying that there shouldn't be but if together with that there can be a little bit of humanness I mean this is what rabby zra did he didn't make himself like a nazer he didn't make himself separate from the world he didn't put on this facade of makeup metaphorical makeup and he had Clear Vision was able to just see people for who they are and see things for what they were he was a man of truth this is the Mah's interpretation another interpretation the context by which they're praising rabi zra remember the context in the T if you look back it says it's discussing what they used to sing to the brides in praising Brides because there's a concept of praising brides and they' apply that same praise to rabi Z in other words the praise that you're giving to a bride she doesn't even need makeup they're giving that same praise to RAB Z he doesn't even need makeup what's the connection what's the connection between Rab's scholarship joining the rabet and a bride doesn't need makeup so here's what one of the commentaries explained there's a commentary called the which I'll be honest I'm unfamiliar with but I saw this quoted he says why would a bride and what's a situation would a bride not have makeup either she doesn't need it but most Brides will always wear makeup you know that's a big day that you're preparing for so when would you not wear makeup if you're unprepared for the wedding right shotgun wedding no I'm if if there's some sort of situation where I don't know God forbid PR I don't know there was a situation where you had to get the wedding done quickly um you had that during Co by the way right A lot of these little G weddings you quickly get a minion um you had you you have situations throughout history where you don't have a lot of time to actually prepare for the wedding so what they're saying that rabi zra like this bride doesn't need makeup he didn't prepare for the rabit well what does that mean what business does he have getting rabinal tests in ordination if he's not prepared you know why he's not prepared because he wasn't studying to be a rabbi he was studying because that's what Jews do we study and maybe I'll be a rabbi maybe I won't what's the difference in other words he was studying Torah because the Torah has inherent value he wasn't being studious as a profession as Jews there's a mitzvah for every an obligation for every single Jew to study Torah and that obligation isn't if you want to become a rabbi by study the Torah that obligation is study the Torah because you're a Jun and some people will advance their study to the point while they're where they'll achieve a certain level of authority this is very different than the way we treat other knowledge because if you want to become a doctor you're going to go to medical school and if you don't want to become a doctor you're not going to read those Textbooks For Fun you'll just text your doctor email your doctor and if you have a legal question you'll text your lawyer you're not going to read them for fun if you don't want to become a lawyer same with any other profession but the Torah is not just information it's values it's God's values and the Torah is literally God's way of sharing vulnerability with us because when are we most vulnerable with people when we're willing to share things that we care about in detail we all have our own shtick and when people get to learn about that shtick in detail and we're comfortable sharing that our desires that that that deepens the relationship this is what God does he shares the details of his desires the Torah you know right before we were recording this we had the discussion about Titus right what exactly does God want and how does he want it when he wants the tius when he doesn't want this there's details there's specific details to everything because this is God's way of sharing what he really wants uh deep down inside so with rabiz Z's attitude of not preparing to be a rabbi but studying because that's what Jews do became a certain praise he wasn't just trying to score a position this is just who he is it's literally uh an identity I I think this ties back to to to genuine genuinity I don't know if that's a word authenticity there we go that's authenticity because it's not my profession I'm a rabbi it's a who studies Torah I wasn't the rabbi it also study it's a passion there's a the talud points out something interesting a different section of the talmud track at Yuma where it points out that the arc in the temple in the base of mikash the ark that contained the tablets the L what was the arc made out of it was a box essentially right that had the corvium on top right almost lost my microphone it was a box that had um three sections to it it was three boxes in one like stacked within each other the outer layer was made out of solid gold then there was an inner layer of wood and then that inner layer of wood was also lined with gold and the Tom says well I guess why why the gold on the inside you have wood because maybe it's more durable whatever it is you have gold on the outside so it looks beautiful but why do you need gold on the inside to contain the Torah nobody's going to see it who cares right that's where you can cheap out the talud says I'll say it in the Hebrew and then I'll translate it we derive from here any scholar any Torah scholar whom his inside and his outside aren't aligned we're not going to call that a scholar if you're going to display gold on the outside and you're containing that toorah and representing its beauty on the outside but you're not living it on the inside that's not good leadership if it's a profession that check in check out of that's not good leadership it has to be an identity and the truth is not everybody listening to this has the trajectory or aspiration to become a rabbi but it applies to leadership it applies to you know it says in get yourself a rabbi but if you translate it l literally make yourself a r make yourself a rabbi we have to take leadership and ownership of Our Lives of our homes and it's important that it's there's a a g there's an authenticity to it where it is a reflection of who I am and if not a reflection of who I am at least to some degree shapes who I am but not just a behavior because I'm a Jew and this is what I'm supposed to be displaying because this is what I need people to see because I need to keep my job or because I need to keep my social status because I want people this is a relationship it has to be very real on the inside we've studied the Tanya together and we know from the Tanya that this is literally where where the whole Tanya is trying to bring us to an authentic relationship with God that is deep on the inside that's meaningful on the inside where there's deep connectivity and not just behavior and this is what RAV RAB zra displayed RAB zra wasn't preparing a speech for an event right he wasn't preparing for a wedding as it were didn't have the makeup on he wasn't preparing for an event he wasn't preparing for he studied Torah right the best teachers are the ones who not who aren't just preparing for a class but but are studying so much that they have information to draw from to prepare for a class because with that comes a high level of authenticity okay explanation number three found in a book called The another commentary and he says what is this analogy of RAB Z not wearing makeup RAB Z not wearing um eyeliner and RAB Z not braiding his hair as if you'd expect him to do that what's the analogy here he used to say things as they were he used to speak clearly and used to teach the Torah as it was without sugar coating things which is an incredible quality a very difficult quality because a person who's in a position of leadership has what's called an occupational hazard that occupational hazard is if I tell you everything you want to hear you don't need me and if I tell you what you need to here but it ain't popular you're GNA fire me right it's a it's a very difficult balance to be in right like Gro Markus said what do I want to be part of a club that wants me as a member like what right there there's this occupational hazard there's this but rabi zero is genuine he didn't care he didn't sugarcoat his words he didn't put makeup and try to cushion what he was saying I'm not saying he was harsh necessarily but he saw his position as a rabbi as somebody studying Torah as somebody who needs to be an ambassador of truth and not just there to say what people want to hear and he was praised for that I'm just suggesting or positing this idea because I haven't seen it anywhere the fact that rabiza is the story this praise is just opposed to praising a bride with the same qualities maybe it's this authenticity and honesty that keeps marriages going where it's founded on Truth not just founded on on a fleeting on makeup you makeup you wash off right and I I I don't mean people shouldn't be presentable that's not what I'm trying to say but there's a certain genuine there's a certain authenticity where somebody can get up and literally just say things the way the way they are and a way that's not offensive and a way that people appreciate where you don't have to be a politician a rabbi or a leader is not a politician which means somebody who needs to appeal to to voters um Raba wasn't that person RAB was the type of person who is just very real he just just says it like it is he shares the Torah he shares the values and he's not trying to to dress it up okay that's all I got for today that's my story and I'm sticking to it