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Iggeres HaGra #19 - Clarifying the Gra's Position on Praising Others, Going to a Cemetery
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okay
good afternoon everyone so malaysia
mybomb
um so today we have a number of very
important issues to discuss in the safer
igar sagra
lately we've encountered
a number of statements of the gra
that are hard to understand or hard to
uh
absorb and deal with in our current
society and in contemporary society
first of all one of the things the gross
said is the
the main thing is
not to speak about anybody's praise and
not to disparage anyone
so that's difficult to understand we
understand you can't disparage anyone
but not to praise anyone
as we mentioned it's a very big mitzvah
to praise sadhikam to speak about um
how import how how great tamir khame or
eurasia mayan balay midos are
the next thing the degrasse says is
that for a woman it's better to daven in
the house because it's impossible to be
spared from jealousy and to hear
advantage
and one is punished for hearing dwarm
battalion and certainly shabbos and
yamtiv where women gather and they speak
it's better not to daven at all that is
what the gross says better not to davin
than for a woman to davan in the show
that's also hard to understand in
today's contemporary society
and then the big whopper was
be very careful not to go a set to a
cemetery ever
because in the cemetery
you have the clip ice
and certainly women should not go there
and all ills and sin come from visiting
cemeteries
so all of these three things need a lot
of analysis and
i remember that actually art scroll came
out with an addition of the iguara sagra
so
you know i finally uh succumbed
and i went out this morning actually i
had a bit of a bug so i didn't want to
share with anybody so i i called the the
store
i said you have igara sagra
i paid and uh i said just drop it in my
window i i swung by
and here it is igaras hagra
and
the igaras hagras edition is by rabbi
shai groucher
or graucher
by the way he has a lot of difference
forum of reprimand koniewski he's a ben
bye it's by johan kanyevsky by the way
his father is daddy you ever remember
the singer daddy that's his fa
anyway um
so he writes a number of interesting
things in the introduction and he
addresses all of these three points
so number one he writes an introduction
that there are two versions of the
igarasagara
and he brings something that i did now i
was completely unaware of
number one their edition number one of
the gara sagara is found at the end of
messil susharam that i know if you look
at the end of any muslim you have the
igarasagara
the other one is recorded by rabbi yosef
zundel of salant a student of the gra
and there's a third version known as the
aram sova version
i'm not mistaken the aram sova version
is um rav goldberg has this edition in
the back of his the garrosh hagra the
aram sova edition
now what's the difference between the
silsio sharma edition and the aramso and
the
rezundo salant edition
the main difference is repsondo's
edition is written in feminine and the
sociocharm is written in masculine
so the question is so what did the write
it in
and what i was not aware of is the
grudge did not write it in either the
wrote it in yiddish
and these are translations
now what i would like to know is who
translated it that's the million dollar
question i don't know the answer to that
but that may open up an entire uh
new understanding of the gara segura
but be it as i may let's take one thing
first
what about the fact the gross says don't
speak about anybody's praise
so grouchy brings over here
the gemara and erichen that ravdimi
taught
that one should avoid speaking
complementary about their friend it
might lead to his detriment meaning
this person is very smart and very kind
and very this and very that but he's a
little but he's a little naive right
you're bound to but you're bound to
so that's what the gemara says
that's
praise a person partly in their presence
but the kula you shall live upon them
not in their presence say their whole
praise
so that indicates that a person's not
around you are allowed to praise them
so
rashi learns that when rabdimi says one
should not praise somebody rashi says
you should not praise someone
excessively
because praising someone excessively is
is going to bring to their detriment and
basically
regarding this issue this is how he
explained it and i remember singing
that regarding praising someone it's
only excessively
however if you look in the gemara
ambassador
on the base
the gemara says that rabshiman was once
sitting in front of rebbe and what rebbe
was reading etihalim
and rebbe said it's a very nice stab and
rib schumann said no i didn't write it
wrote it
so rebbe said shimon why are you
speaking lashin hara
so the question is not to english are
you speaking washington he's saying that
i didn't write this beautiful
my friend wrote it
so
the gemara says that
i'm quoting ravdimi and erichen that
you're not allowed to speak about
someone's praise and this this
is not excessive he's not praising him
excessively just saying it's a nice sab
so the mug in avraham and apparently the
learns this way
is talking it says
that praising someone is prohibited in
front of an enemy
and the gemara baba basra that says that
rabshiman was told by rebbe don't speak
lashing hara it's because it was made
publicly and there were some of rebuked
hayata's enemies there so the bottom
line is one cannot speak about someone's
praise excessively and
even in front of his friends and one
should not speak
any words of praise in front of an enemy
that's the conclusion in other words if
you know somebody doesn't like someone
do not praise that person in the in the
enemy's presence by the way let me just
tell you what that means
um the gemara says
a plumber hates all plumbers
and an electrician hates electricians
and an accountant hates accountants
and the rabbi apparently
extrapolate but that's what the gemara
says people don't like members of their
own um
of their own occupation and therefore to
an account to an accountant don't praise
another accountant to a lawyer you're
not going to praise another lawyer it's
now if there are no enemies there your
ladder praised but not excessively
however
if groucher quotes the so that's how we
learned it but i'm just uh i'm reading
to you just to have a
definitive uh sort of approach to this
rib groucho quotes the chivas i'm
that we know there's an idea that while
you're performing a mitzvah showing
one who performs the mitzvah will not
know anything evil but he says that if
someone is um
he says in the gemara
where
where rebbe was just praising the
handwriting so that's not necessarily a
conversation of a mitzvah
so that's a problem because there might
be an enemy there
however to praise at sadiq
to to praise their good deeds or
since that's a mitzvah we're not afraid
it's going to lead to something bad
again but that's uh his
that if you're praising someone to so to
speak uh raise up the madriga of those
who serve hashem that would be permitted
okay
the next issue graveyards
as many of you know that uh i do
appreciate the visiting
kibritsadikim and the question is the
grass says
be careful not to go to a cemetery so
the first thing is it depends which gear
so you use
because in rav goldberg's first gersa he
says vishmar you should be careful he's
talking to his boys and then he says
certainly women but in the girasa
repsundo of salant and in iran
it's the sushmari he's only talking to
women
that women are now to go to a cemetery
but there's no prohibition for a man to
go to a cemetery so let's discuss this a
little bit
um
by the way not only does the gura seem
to say one should avoid cemeteries
vital
quotes arizal that one should always be
careful to remain dalit ammo is from a
grave so that the forces of impurity do
not
do not stick to him now let's say over
from the story from leo yahoo the guru
once went to a cemetery to visit his
mother
and he went with his brother of dove
bear
so when they left the grass said did you
see mama was very happy that uh we came
to her kevin
ravdov bear was surprised you know that
the girl would be able to perceive his
mother's presence at the cover a few
days later the garage told me of deut
bear that
he was suffering from having visited his
mother's caver
with diversity what do you mean didn't
you say mama was happy the girl said she
was happy but it caused me much hardship
so here's the bottom line
the language of the grand implies all
women should avoid a cemetery
why
apparently
because women don't have the protection
of talmud tyra
now if you're going to go with the other
gersa of the gura that a woman's talmud
is samias
then maybe that would offer her
protection however the pisgre chuva
the
said say that a woman should not go to a
cemetery if she is anida and she is tame
only after they go to the mikvah
i will tell you
the khayodam says a man should not go to
the cemetery until they go to the mikvah
ramshaw kaminsky says that's not the
custom
but there is an indian not to go when
when is tami
the bottom line is that moshe stormbach
has achieved
and he says the gura is only talking
about to kavarim in hudslawareths
kivray sadikim
are not um the varmin arts israel don't
have tuma
so the first thing is you allowed to go
took foreign arts israel number two the
guru was not talking about kyogre
sadikim
kybraid sadikim are like kivre aratsu
israel and your fields are more accepted
and therefore the grow was not talking
about kibray sadiq and he was not
talking about kibray or it's israel
so common practice is that people do
visit grace with sadiq
especially if they're a relative or a
parent and they are accepted more
favorably
but don't think that by um
going to a cover you're fulfilling the
words of the guru and arizal they are
not necessarily
big fans of it but it's interesting i
saw in the introduction of the seifer
that rev groucho says he once saw aaron
leib simon rabaran's lapse that i
haven't seen you lately where have you
been and he said i just traveled to
europe
to visit the cover of the garage and
review said really i didn't know young
people have the uh
the sense to visit the cover of the gura
which by the way i would like to go to
as soon as the
the world opens up okay next what about
women going to shoal
because the grass says that to go to
shawn to hear the
the latest about um
whether the vice president will accept
trump's nomination or
whether the senate will remain
republican democrat so then it's better
not to daven if that's what you're going
to pick up in shula it's better not to
diamond but the grow is not talking
about men men are much leave to go to
shul because it's a little bit zebra
women have do not have a mitzvah
um
josh wants to come with me good you're
in but um
the gross said the the
men have achieved to go to the
to shul and therefore this does not
apply to men and he brings a story over
here that one time
the guru in one part of his life he was
wandering
as we had in the tournament of the
concept of pravagalas
and one time it was yodalit adar and he
found himself in prussia and he could
not get a minion
so he comes to a small city and he
starts paying people to make his minion
the mistake was that the grub paid
everyone up front and by the time he got
up to uh
everybody was gone
and the whenever he would think about
the story he would break out into tears
that he lost the merit of dominating
with the minion by the way rob
shimshin karelis
in a moody shace
writes that in the grass shul not only
did women not come there was no women's
section in the
grosho the groud did not have a women's
section
says with moshe stormbach destler and
kelm women did not go to shul
and the reason is revdessler said
because the righteous women found
that when they went to shul it was hard
for themselves to stay away from the
balayla sinhara and therefore in europe
in many communities women did not go to
shoal
oh there says
this whole
admonition of women going to shul is
back in the day
that if you follow the gru's advice and
women don't leave the house
then women shouldn't go to school
but i'm told that there are communities
in america that women do leave the house
that's what they tell me
um
so in
in modern society where women have jobs
and women have uh go to work and women
go shopping
then whatever la shanhara and whatever
stuff they're going to hear they hear
anyway they're going to so says
in his opinion there's no reason for a
woman not to go to school
i will say i think and i'm
i'm not quoting a source i believe
abraham knew his wife's wife not only
went to show but david with the minion
three times a day
if i'm not mistaken
um
kenievsky's rabbitson would go to uh
would go to shul but again if in your
shul
women are talking to you
um by the davening then uh best to
follow the advice of the gra
and uh find somewhere else okay rabbi
said that would be today's but
so hopefully that gives us some clarity
about what it means one should not
praise someone
what the restrictions of going to a
graveyard are and in terms of women
going to shul
tomorrow we're back on with shimru at 2
30 the next malacha tonight this year is
8 30
and um sunday night there's going to be
a hazak event about
tu b'shvat
and the good thing is there happens to
be an english say fair that discusses uh
tu b'shvat so uh sunday night is a hazak
event
and hope to see everybody soon
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