Tomer Devorah (Rabbi Guy Matalon) (Jewish Understanding) (Series Part 15)

we are in to per sheni towards the end and we're talking about I don't want to use the term shortcuts because there are some texts that give us shortcuts of how to gain good midos but here he's saying he told us that there are there are three components of an elixir or a special medicine to develop humility in us but now he wants to say there's another way and he says one way is start respecting others. Respect every creature. Now when we say creatures automatically I'm thinking of the pigeons that I shed away this morning. they are Hashem's creatures or that you know I have a I we used to have a neighbor that would feed the cats in our building in our property and according to herb there were 17 cats okay fine listen she what are you going to do it's a big mitzvah so is in the whether it's Okay, holds it is the rabbon mayor and others hold the so you know okay there's so she moved out of the building I don't know two three years ago she still comes to feed the cats every morning and you know you I'm trying to walk in and they're there and it's you know but I always tell the cat I'm not going to harm you I'm not going to do anything to you some of them don't What? What's so funny? There was no joke. There's not. He's like, "We got Rabbi, give us the punch line." No, I'm just saying that if we're talking about and respecting creatures, it means that we have to respect all of the creatures that God created, not just orangutans. Very, very strange example. Why, rabbi, did you pick orangutans? Well, I'm looking around here. [Laughter] No, I'll tell you. Rabbi Gotautly sent me an email of an article that he posted on his blog on uh the genetics of the apes compared to human beings. So, I was reading about all of that. Very interesting article. If you're interested, just look up on his blog. Um, so do we need to I mean is he talking about respecting animals but he's saying so he says you have to recognize that every person every human being that God created he created withma with wisdom. Sometimes you meet people and you think hello McFly. But you're supposed to look at every single person and recognize and see the that God placed in that individual. There'sma in each and every one of us. Some of you, because I've spent some time with you, don't believe it. This is the sad part. Some people think they have the mentality of a loser. I can't this. I don't have that. I Come on. You're not going to be able to convince me that made a mistake and created you essentially as waste for any human being even a guy to think that created and put in each one of us tremendous power. the shall are you going to actualize it, move it from potentiality to actuality or are you going to just remain in potentiality? Um, Rabbi Tats gave a talk here once a long time ago that I was to hear. He brought a very interesting idea. There are benefits in potentiality and there are benefits in actuality. which is true potential. Just imagine you're laying in bed. It's 7 a.m. You're awake in bed. The potential in front of you is you can do anything. You can go up to you can go to Davin. You can go to the mikvah. You can go sit and learn. You could go work. You could do endless opportunities are available for you. Correct. But you got to get out of bed. Potentiality means that you're not actualizing anything. You have all these options. I have this option and that option and this option and this. Okay, fine. Good. Well, put one of them into action. What's the downside of actualizing? You can only actualize one of them. But the plus side, you did something. You did something. So you have to look at the potential that you have, what Hashem put in you and start actualizing. Do something. Do something positive for yourself, for others. A lot of the muser, the way that I look at it is very early connected sources of what we call today coaching. You ever met people who are coaches, right? What's the difference between criticism and a coach? Coaching is uplifting. So, okay, that was a rhetorical question. Thank you for playing. You want to answer a rhetorical question? No. It's rhetorical question means that I throw a softball in the air and I'm going to hit it. I don't need you to try to strike me out. Criticism is that suits ugly and you're about 30 pounds overweight. But coaching is, you know, if you get into shape, you'll feel better, you'll be more attractive, and you know, you'll need to buy a brand new suit. It's a different mindset. What we try to do as your is not only teach you to Torah, but also help you move ahead. And we try not to criticize you. Hey, bum. You're nothing's going to happen from you. Put the Gar down and that's it. There's no hope for you. You want to get married. Look at this. God forbid. Yes. You seem to enjoy this year more than everybody else. What do you know? Yes, sir. What do you do if somebody talks to you like that? What do I do if somebody talks to me like what? Criticism. But like you're Well, first of all, first of all, it depends. It depends who's doing it. A close friend. A close par friend. Well, look, if parents are critical critical and they're not providing constructive criticism, remember you have the laws of which means that it limits your reaction. It's not a It's not a pair. I'm just saying I didn't say that. You said it's a pair. It's me. It's me. Like that. Tyler, you calling him a bum? That doesn't I apologize. No, no, no. But you have to remember if you're trying to motivate somebody. It's not about cutting them down. Successful people are individuals. Listen, I'm serious. If you ask a serious I try to if you guys want to laugh and you know be the two old men from the Muppets Vasha but then I will move on. Is he right or wrong? Is he right or wrong that what like is what you're saying is it true or does it apply? Am I a defination probably there's moments where you try get into it but I'm very respectful I want to I want to say something I want to say something the question always when let's let's say you have somebody who is I'm actually with with Tyler I would give a different it. But the people on, you know, we're watching this and maybe the people here don't know Tyler. So I want to give an answer that would fit individuals who are not as sensitive and as uh you know listening and very u caring as Tyler. If you get let's say it was somebody that you know had less patience like me. So the question is for you as is your reaction. Okay? Well, you don't need to throw a yam off. It's really it's I'm giving you positive advice here. You have to look at it like this. You have to look at it like this. Is sending me a message. The message is coming at me a little harsh. which means that I need to start paying attention to what I'm doing with myself. That is don't focus on the individual and he hurt my feelings and make it all about him. Look at it as sent me warning light was trying to motivate me. That didn't work. He tried this way, tried that way. However, it is didn't work. So now I have this and you have to look at it as this is an opportunity. It's a wakeup call. It's a wakeup call. And the question is what do you want to do? A lot of people and this is sad to say take those sort of things as they are being victimized and they were mistreated, disrespected. They need their safe space. They need a hug. And they look at it as they were they are a victim. Well, a victim means that you are no longer responsible to do anything and therefore you're losing the opportunity to succeed in life. So that's what I would say. Sometimes people would say something to you if they know you some and they're harsh. It might be they're just frustrated with them recognizing your talents and seeing that you're not really doing anything. So they are sort of exasperated. If they're people that don't know you and don't really care about you, so who cares what they're saying, right? That's what I would tell you. Thank you. Uhhuh. So he says like this you have to look at every human being as containing something special from this is is not easy to do because sometimes when we think this way it makes us think that there's competition between us and them that is if I look at this person as smart, important, I see good in him, then automatically I'm looking I'm putting myself down and therefore it's a competition and I have to put him down so I could feel better about myself. But that's really wrong. It means you're very insecure about who you are. If you have to put other people down to feel good about who you are, then the emperor is not wearing any clothes. So okay, he says that you have to think this way that if you were disrespectful to another human being, It's that you are being disrespectful to their maker. Hashem made them. Hashem made Mike Shemi Davidid and Hoodie and Yseph and Ysef and each and every one of us. And therefore, when we treat the others, we're essentially saying, "You blew it. You blew it." Cuz what have you done here? Look at this. Look at this. And so if you're going to embarrass somebody, to put somebody down, it means that you are putting down himself because he is the one that made you the way you are. So the same thing that if you're putting yourself down with your low self-esteem and your low whatever all these other issues that people have this this generation there are people who think mameish they think that they are losers they walk around like that it's terrible no What's so funny, Dan? You're thinking about Davididian spy. What? He called me an Iranian spy. He called you an Iranian spy. Last night I sent James pictures to him. You sent what? James Bond pictures. You know, this is was one of those things that if I didn't know it, I probably my life would have been better. I can never get that 10 seconds back. What are you walking around shaking hands in the middle of when you're running for office? Hey, Walker. How you doing? How you doing? [Music] Next thing I know, he stands in the street kissing babies. Then they come from the, you know, mashim and beat him up. It's plastic, sad. Don't eat plastic. It's not good for you. Micro plastic in your system. Yeah. You haven't heard of these articles? What? Microlastics. That's why he's serving us. Would you like some more microplastics? I got to push an agenda to second. So one is work on respecting every human being. Treat them with respect. You had a question on that. You're against treating people with respect. You notice he didn't say no. Like well here. It depends. Depends or adult underwear, my friend. He doesn't even know what I'm going to ask. Maybe I do. We have that uh that zapper over there in the side room that's just killing insects. Like if insects are like, you know, bugging you, no pun intended. Do you have to wait? I'm sorry. This has nothing. No, we I said that was my havina. But he said respect human beings. So he moved from creatures to human beings. And he's talking about human beings. You want to go back to the hava amina and talk about flies. So if you want to respect all flies vasha fine start a nonprofit we can just kill insect fa flies right what say that it's fine then to kill insects without any if they are bothering you. Yes can you can't kill them on chabas who said that I need a name and a phone number. Okay, even that if you learn the suga in Shabas is a big it's true that we say that we don't kill but under certain conditions we are allowed to let's say a scorpion or a snake that is posing a danger and chabas you're allowed to kill it because it's posing a danger we're not doing but you what no I we want to do mer what if my grandmother had wings things would she fly for TWWA? You don't even know what TWWA is. Transorld Airways. Why do you want to ask Sadi? SPA. Thank you. I'm sure I'm sure that now now you asking this question, you feel a lot better about who you are. That's coaching. [Laughter] Can we move forward please? Shia, do you want what? What specifically is number two? Get used to habituate yourself to loving your fellow Jews. Some people are harder to love than others. That's true. But if if the guy is here only two and a half weeks, how difficult could it be? Right. Right. It's all right. You let him take his your shampoo. All right. He's using your slippers. It is what it is. But underwear that Yeah, I get it. There's got to be a red line. You cannot take people's underwear. So he says you should love every Jew, even Rasheim. And that's hard. But you're looking at a Russia saying, "Hashem, help him become a sadik. Help him return and do chuva." Like Mosher Rabenu says inbar chapter. He says Mosher says I would give everything for the entire Jewish people to be prophets. Why not? Because he truly loved the Jewish people. He loved every single Jew. And so what's wrong with your arm? What are you doing? massage. Your m self massage. Does that even work? Yes. Who said yes? You're lucky there's a camera here. Otherwise, you would have the professional tell us if this thing works. No. No. I mean, you're in pain or something. Long story. Long story. Are you left-handed or right-handed? Thank God it's on your left hand. Thank God it's on your left hand. So you have the right hand to massage. So he says the way that you do this to get a level of loving every Jew is look at the good midos that every person has. Each and every one of you has good midot. Yes, we all have bad midot. He's not going to come late again, is he? We started three, my friend. I thought we started now. You thought wrong. 3:00. My bad. I don't Rabbi. Okay. We love you anyway. I'll do better next time. I'm sure there's no havina otherwise. Always look at the good midot that people have. It's easy to pick up negative midot. You can be with somebody and realize I don't like this guy for this reason or that reason or that reason. But if you focus on the negative, then you're not going to have you're not going to make good friends and things are not going to be good. Focus on the good. And that is very important for those of you who are contemplating shid. You think that this girl that you're going to meet has only only good qualities. No, she has bad. But focus on the good. And if you see that there's more good than what bothers you, then kadima go to the next date. Then the next one is that yeah because we're created in the image of image of God not Hashem's we're learning Kabala. Yeah there's a difference. So the difference we're created in the image of God and we have a natural tendency to to just view the negative quicker. Does that also mean that God has a tendency or is that more of our Yes. Yes. Yeah. But you don't have to see the bad. There was a guy who went on shidim and every time he went with a girl, he found out the one thing he didn't like about something's wrong with her eye. Okay, go. Next one. Some She's got her ear is crooked. Everybody's ear is crooked. No, no, it's like really crooked. Okay, next. That is If you keep looking for what's wrong, you'll find it. It's got to be something wrong with Oh, yeah. That's it. Focus on the good. So what? She's 300 lb. So what? What are you saying? No. If that's what happens when you see her said, "Wow, all this for [Laughter] me and accept it. Be joyful sent you." And if that's your basher, that's your basher. Don't be so shallow. Make your nice salads. What did you want to say? I was going to ask you elaborate on what you just said about image of God versus image of No, we're not getting into that right now. Sorry, the Pik says Elohim. Elohim doesn't say different attributes. God doesn't have attributes. Just kind of the way he wants us to No. No. We're not getting I said we're not getting Yeah, I know you're trying to suck me in in there. Come on, Rabbi. Rabbi, you open this can of worms. No, I did not open a can of worms. I just corrected a wrong statement. That's it. And it's nothing in the Torah is a can of worms. Can of worms. Nick, how am I doing today? Yeah. What's with a skull with glasses on the What does it symbolize? Golf course? You have your own golf course? Wow. to I'll give you he gives an example that reminded me a conversation I had with somebody this morning. Excuse me. No, somebody I walked into the yeshiva come down and I got to talk to you. Can I please have breakfast? Okay, I didn't say anything. So he says this is to I'm not uh he says when you are by a povertystricken Jew, just imagine if this guy would be a billionaire, how happy you would be to be around him. And when people are around very wealthy, successful people, they feel good about themselves. They're like, "Wow, I hobnob with the best. Look at this. What do you do?" I'm a billionaire. What are you? I'm a buy billionaire. What are you a tribillionaire? Oh, wow. Hashem, it's that there's wealthy Jews who are keeping Torah and mitzvah and are donating and doing all these wonderful things. But we like being around successful people. He says, "Imagine even the people that you don't really like to be. If they were wealthy, you would love you would look away from all their faults. Then you would accept them with all their ex eccentricity." That's the word eccentricity. all their piccadillos, all their weird behavior because they're successful and wealthy and so so yeah, there are guys in Mina that might not be the, you know, the symbol of wealth and success, but that's because they haven't gotten there yet. You get a chance to connect with Jews that will be the next future. You're looking around like, "No, not him. I saw that. He's only here for two and a half weeks. Leave him alone. He's going to be a big success. I'm telling you. Take his number. You got it. You killed one. Okay. And so he says he says that you have to change your mindset to develop love of every Jew. Even if he sleeps in the middle of your class right in front of your face, it's okay. It's pasta day. You know, pasta makes you sleepy. What? I There was pasta today. Of course not. That's why you eaten to. So we are now going to enter the third chapter and so we'll stop here for the day. Minha will start in