Personal Tefillah | Rabbi Yossi Goldin

guys uh that I'm uh particularly late today there was a at some point while I was driving in Kish just closed there must have been maybe an accident or something I don't know so we had uh much much worse traffic than normal so I apologize again okay so um just to get into what we're what we're doing last week we spent the last couple of weeks um talking about the development of the set text the N um of of shon and we talked about the history of that and last week we talked about the particular advantages to having a set text and how it helps us in various different ways um and as we mentioned at the end of last week what we're going to do this week is we're going to see that the other side of the coin because even though there are many numerous advantages to having a set text in um as many of you have pointed out there are also some disadvantages having a set text can create a certain sense of redundancy a person can get familiarized with the text and maybe therefore it loses its meaning it feels forced it's a it's not it's not as personal there are many different reasons why there could be a potential downside to having a set text and and therefore as part of the the full picture of what kazal created as we're going to see today kazal made sure to still have a second side of the coin the other side of the coin which is to incor find ways to incorporate personal even within our our daily schedule and there are two different ways that that kazal did that number one is they created opportunities for personal even within what we know as the set text of the of the Shon and that's what I want to start with today and then the second part is opportunities for personala um throughout the day even at times that aren't necessarily connected to our to our regular so the first um the first type of personal that I'd like to to to explore with you is the personal that kazal created that can take place even with in the context of our set text and the and the first the first source for this is G Source number one so here the the the the are describing or discussing where and or when a personal can a person can can incorporate personal within within the set text so [Applause] the elzar says the way it should be is a person should first begin with their personal whatever's on their mind whatever they want to say and then afterwards they should say the set text of what we call that's what it means by first you should ask for your needs which is a reference to personal needs personal and then afterwards a person should dive in and say the set text as the says the first refers to the an who is going to first he'll he'll again there's different explanations for the word means to envelop and here it's referring to pouring his heart out first he should pour his heart out and ask for his personal and then and then afterwards he should he should give What's called the and says says the we see in in a reference in part in SA that in the word is a reference according to to instituting the so we see that the word is a reference to so this according to rra means that a person should first dive in whatever they say whatever they want to say and then they should say the set text yes so it's an excellent excellent question excellent question and we're going to see that that the next opinion argues and says it should be the exact opposite but also what Mo the difference is that what we were talking about last time was within the set text how should that set text be organized meaning within the set text what we have we should always begin with praise and then begin with asking this is even saying when we're differentiating between a personala and then the set text which will also incorporate both and and B which which one comes first so it's a little bit of it's a little bit different but yes you are correct that this is a this is g to be yes so right now right now the gamar is just describing General say whatever you want and then set go to the set text that's the opinion of RAB elzar we're gonna see we don't POS RAB elzar we we differentiate but it's good to see development of this in the gamar okay then comes RAB Yoshua we're on the second line the end of the end of the second line no what you really should is the opposite first you should say which is going to incorporate everything that thatal incorporated as a set text and then at the end you can add your personal what you want to have that's meaningful to you and he brings a says I will pour in front of him my conversation which we just saw as a reference to and then all of my pains all of my things that I'm going through I'm going to talk I'm going to share with Hashem so here we see that it the reference is to First the order is to first start with a set text and then afterwards you can share whatever whatever you want to the gar then we going to skip a little part of the gamar because it's not as relevant and the third opinion is neither one of those are correct what do we do rather when should a person add in their personal not at the beginning not before the text not not before the set text not after the set text but Incorporated within the set text as part of the set text of shon es there are opportunities for a person to combine the set text with personal and when is that the one example is going to be in the of as many of us are familiar I'm going to see this as well that the is meant to be sort of a catchall during that BR a person is is is is is encouraged as we're going to see it's not just allowed you're encouraged just to pause at a certain point in and to add personal personal request in any language that you want now thear doesn't discuss the significance Behind these different reasons and why the say to do it in the middle and why this person says to they bring but I I I think there's there's tremendous significance in choosing to have it Incorporated within the text rather than having it looked at as this is separate this is what I say and this is what I say this is what I say for myself and this is what I say for all of am Israel or and I say this first and I say the second I think I think the significance of incorporating it within the text of is meant to show once again as the way I've been phrasing it that they're really two sides of the same coin K aren't saying you just have this there's one type of F and then there's a second type of f no there's one and that Oneal developed and created a beautiful balance incorporating opportunities for personal text personal while also ensuring the the continued and all the other advantages that we have when we have a a set a set text okay so so far all we've seen and we're going to see more so far what we've seen is that there's this opportunity to include personal in the but then the gar continues okay we have the son of in the name of sorry even though we just said that ideally when should a personal person add their personal within the an additional opportunity to add personal is not just in where you can add whatever you want if there is a theme or there is an issue or something that's important to you and that specific issue is within theme of one of the other of then you are also invited and even encouraged to add that personal in the middle of that BR for example the classic example would be if you have a personal thing that you're ding for that's connected to r that somebody should be healed you or family member or a friend within the of you you also have the opportunity to stop and to ask for that in in whatever language you'd like as part of that I think even specifically there's even a text that the often bring down where you can add that but it's not just which is about sustenance if a person needs needs to D in for parasa for themselves or for somebody else that is a great point during which during the where you can dive in for that if a person need is making to make a decision about a certain decision and they need help making that decision you give man the ability to make decisions and and the knowledge and the wisdom to make the right decisions within that a person can pause and add a personal connected to that specific topic so what the gamor is saying is there's two opportunities one is within each bra if it's May the meaning if it's with if it's connected to the topic of that another example if you're uh if a person feels very passionate about I don't know um about about about a relative coming coming coming back to Israel let's say and they want to dove in that that person should move to Israel okay so during the I don't know during the or during there are various moments where you can find something that's related that's meaningful to you is another great example a person feels feels bad about a certain a that they've done we've learned this before but the Mitzvah Chua doesn't only exist only during during during CH Chua exists all year round and during the if a person feels they did they committed a certain sin and they're looking and they want to ask for forgiveness was a great opportunity to do that so the idea here is to say the text the text needs to be said and it should be said because that's the text of kazal but kazal Incorporated the opportunity to add personal within each of these now the one thing I just want to comment and then I'll take questions or comments as well is where it should be placed and we're going to see that we're going to see we're going to see this in the future is that it's very important and again there's there's different ways but the standard approach I I I don't have a sitter on me now but the standard approach roach is that what you should do is you say for each of these you definitely have to at least start the meaning you can't you can't let's say start doing for for for sustenance before you start saying the you need to start the um and and and the post say you should you should at least say the first phrase of each but the standard place where you do it is usually not right before the end bra but before the last phrase before the give you an example the is the most standard example many of us are familiar with this idea that you're allowed to add something where do you add the piece you add it right before the words why because that's the end phrase of that's like the ending before the end bra that's the best point to do it because you're you're you're incorporating your personal with in the context of that you're doing that should listen to all of our is already the conclusion of the and that's the best part to do the same thing is I think again that's the end of the before the you should you should add your personal then say and with each of the you can usually find if you look in the there's that end phrase where where we're kind of introducing the we're basically concluding the before the actual so it's best to incorporate your personal within right right before that so that so that the the conclusion incorporates both what the text you've said and your personal f that answered your question okay great yes that's an excellent excellent question um I think it's a I think it's I think it's a personal decision meaning I don't think that Hally a person can we're g to see soon that there is a conversation about not making your T too long but usually that's referenced specifically to the point of where you're the kazin or you're one of 10 men and where if you were to do so it would cause the rest of the tore to um I think the idea of of continuing and but we're actually going to see we're going to see soon and it's actually good that you referen this that there's a way to have your cake and Eed too which is some post recommend specifically adding on all of these things not at but at which is at the end of because that will enable you to answer and still be able to conclude so we get I'll explain what I mean by that but so the answer is that if a person you know say is in the middle of RA and they want and that's and they want to spend a lot of time talking about that and that will cause you to miss to miss Kusa I think that's it's a personal decision meaning obviously a person should not the one reason why a person should not be take take take longer for mon is not because they're worried about missing something but because if sometimes when people take a long time they end up losing concentration there are some people I know who say that they doin fast because to them that's the easiest way to concentrate is to doin Fest other people say no I want to take my time and so that's that's that's a personal decision and everyone should know what works for them um so I think that the issue of should I do in a little bit longer but miss kadha we do believe that if you're in the middle of sh and and you stay quiet there's something called if you're listening to what to the if you're not saying it you're considered to be answering so that's I think that's still that's totally valid if you're if if you're able to concentrate and and you feel like it's enhancing your so I don't think it's in it's an either or but as we said there's ways to uh have both okay so so that is that is the gar that is thear there's there's another part of thear repeats the same idea where it gives examples just to actually to see it inside three lines from the bottom we're getting another example of this idea even though they said you're supposed to if you have specific things to D for you can do it in those specific for example if you have somebody that's ill you can include them in these are the examples I gave as well you and and therefore and then continues and what concludes this part of the even though it says that a person can add whatever they want in if a person wants to add at the end of daving even more even if they want to say what what he calls the Y daving meaning you're going to say a really really long daving you're allowed to do that at the end of and that's a reference really to the the fact that the other the other time that you can add extra things into you Lo is really at the end after you finish the and you're already in the middle of or you're in that you can add as much as you want as as the post are goingon to say because at that point you can still answer aain and answer kadus to to everything and therefore you have the opportunity to continue to DAV in it's really it's because alur without getting into too many of the details alur is officially you've already finished the main text of the it's now an opportunity to add additional things that we add was added was added later on and it's really additional PE and additional bakashot requests and that's a great place to also add on your personal Bak because because you've finished the you can really respond to but you you still have the ability to add on your personal your personal uh no uh before Shalom yes usually the place to do it is right before before you say the words uh that's where that's where you would add uh the Minh is basically after you say there many people have to say and that now enables you to answer and respond to most things within this not everything but for most from almost all of the then you say and before the second that's usually the place where a person will stop and you have the opportunity to add to add anything you want no before before the uh uh no no also is after the second and you're saying it before this second so it's before am I am I getting confused no I oh not the you talk about shom no shalom it's before the Shalom right before you say the phrase you say that a second time before that so it's before shom that's the place where you would stop and add and add any additional that you would like to add that you say once then you start a litur and right before the second I don't think so no yeah right right before it's right it's right before it's right before just you can you can I'm just gonna go on but double check yeah there's there's a different there's a different text okay I'm I'm just going to go on just so I don't want to because because of time but you're welcome to check it but I'm pretty sure that it's before it's before the ulone and many sedur will have a little star many Sedum will have a little star before the second where at that point you can it's some people have the have a to add a p that's connected to their name that's a point that many people are that are signified in the in the in the SE in the seedor oh you're talking about you're talking about the the second y not Y no yeah yeah there's a there's that's something else yeah but that's a different that's not that's it's a different it's a different text it's a different text I'm referring to the not it's a different it's a different text exactly right there right there before that one that and many S have a mark there that you can do okay let's just let's keep going just because uh because of time because I because I came late here now the gar there's a second gar that limits this a little bit and that GAR is in Source number two the that points out that this doesn't mean that a person can add any in any of the we've seen this before but it's important to see it again sorry a person may never add their own personal requests during the first three or the last three only during the the middle ones why because as we know if you were to add it what is what are the not what are the first three they are the the first are meant to be Praises you go and you initiate that conversation where you have you praising it's not appropriate for me to add anything specific during or personal during those first three the middle and that's like an like a servant who's asking something from the from the from from their master and then it's appropriate to add your own personal not and the last ones it's similar to an EV who already already received something from his master and now he's going he thanking him before before he leaves and because those the first three are for for praise and the last three are specifically for what we call thanks it's not appropriate for you to add personal requests during those during those FS to F right here on the spot makes an important point and he points out that when we when we say that a person shouldn't add special requests during the first three or the last three that's only if we're doing it as a as an individual as a community we actually do have the Min hug as a tore to add for example during we add we add we add things we add you know we add um say forom right we do add certain things why why are we doing that and the answer is there's a difference between and that aore is allowed to insert special requests even during the first three or the last three when we say that a person should do it it means individuals individuals shouldn't add their own personal requests but it is appropriate for the tore when when when it is warranted y or is more thanks than there anything else or specifically to add certain things because that is as aore and not necessarily our own our own personal our own personal requests okay the rabab in Source number three summarizes what we've seen so far and he says the following Source number three if a person is doing with the first he says you shouldn't make it too long now what does it mean if you're doing with the you shouldn't make it too long it seems what he's referencing is as I said before somebody who is either the Kazan or he's needed for the minion meaning it's inappropriate for you to dve in too long if that's going to cause what's called It's Gonna cause a bother to the Tor if the Tor is waiting for you so that's not appropriate for you all of a sudden have so much kavana that you know everyone standing around waiting for you to waiting for you to finish but if we're talking about a case where you're not impacting anybody else then you're welcome to to have a longer as much as you would like the and if you want to add at the end of your which is referring to during you're allowed to say as much as you want even as long as the which is referenced to having a very long a long addition you're allowed to add whatever you want and the same thing would be true if a person within each specific wants to add a personal request that it is May that is part of the topic of that you're allowed to Kad what's an example says the if you know someone who's sick you're allowed to ask for Mercy for that person in the b in in your own language however you want to say it you're allowed to say it in English you can say it in in I don't know French you can say whatever language you want in any way that will make it meaningful for you if you need you can add your own personal request in the and the same thing applies to each of the middle but if you want to add anything you're allowed to in that is what we call the cat that you're allowed to add anything it doesn't need to be May the is all about asking to listen to us and that can apply to to anything and then he adds and then he summarizes and brings in the second that we saw but not you're not allowed to add in the first three BR or the last three yes good we're we started mentioning that we're gonna see that right now many post can point out and again we're not going to see this inside but the m and Source number brings this down okay we're not going to see it inside for time it's really basically Bringing Down the same thing that we just mentioned as well that you can you can add anything you want in any of the it's connected to the and then he adds that you can do the same thing in and then the Mish and a number of people point out that it's probably better to do it at the end of and not necessarily to do it in although a person has the choice to do whichever one they want let's say they're afraid that they're not going to remember about that they get to you or or something's Bo air something's very important to them and they want to be able to is when they feel that again we we all know that that waxes in wains there are times where we're more focused times where we're less focused times where we want to say something and so therefore sh is considered an appropriate time but there are two reasons why why they say you it's better especially if you have a lot to say to say it at the end of what are the two reasons that you say if you look in Source number four right after the the the the M um is a commentary is's commentary on the so in Source number in bet where it says so says says meaning you're allowed to add anything in all of the if it's connected to the and certainly in but when it comes to the after IE during before the words the second you can add as much as you want why it seems like he's basically saying that um that because practically you're not going to miss out on missing kadus or missing any of those other things so that's one reason that that that that some post say it's better to say most of it at the end of ID in Source number in Source number six in actually brings another reason he thinks it's better to do it at the end of and not to necessarily do it in during during during the during look at source number six according to most it is appropriate for someone who is daving to add his own his own requests okay okay because when a person is adding on their personal TW it very often becomes more personal and becomes more meaningful so this is important it's not just and this is an important point and I said this before it's not just that the rabbis let you add your own personal like okay we have to give them this little uh no this is encouraged we're gonna see in a minute there that even the in says you should do this this is we want you to do this because we know that this will hopefully enhance all of your your overall experience Ella continues it is ideal it is preferred that a person does not go too long on personal in the middle of even not too much why not because in the end of the day although we encourage you and we and we incorporate personal we have to remember when kazal set the text that is the main text the main text is for everybody and not just focusing on yourself if we end up spending most of the time on our own personal if we spend too much time on our personal stuff and we don't spend enough time on the set text we're basically saying is I only care about my own personal and not the set text that's meant to be a for all of Isel and therefore or the ideal is you should incorporate these personal but you shouldn't go too long you shouldn't add too much if you feel the need to add too much better to do that at the end after you've said all of the where you've prioritized the main text daving for all of Cl then you're allowed to add whatever you want that's what he says right now if somebody feels the need to add a lot of personal after you finish and you said the first then you can then you can add there right before the second you can add what you want it's not within the context of the main text it's part of the addendum that you're adding onto the as long as you have not yet taken three steps back and said that Shalom you're still standing in front of so is suggesting there's really two reasons why there is a preference that if you have a lot to add you should add it in and not in one is practical because that way you can still answer or most ofat while you're in your own personal number two in terms of how it appears or in terms of the a sense of priorities this way you finish the main text which is the text that kazal Institute Ed reminding us to David for theor reminding us to DAV for all of am Israel and not just focusing on our personal needs and then afterwards you're welcome to add as much personal as you as you would like to but again I do want to stress that you still are if somebody feels strongly that they want to add it in or they want to add it within the specific you're allowed to this is just a recommendation um that is made and it's better to do it towards the end but everyone should should find find a way that's meaningful for them and and add it then yes absolutely that's that's that's what we said meaning within each Tila you are welcome to add and so good I I so again I think I think that to I it they they talk about both one I to me I would say the following this is my own understanding of it um is the following I think when if a person feels feels specifically and most of us will in the that feels like the most natural time to to D for so I think if you're talking about something that's specific to what we call okay or let's say somebody personally needs to for that so then the real natural place to do that is in the or or like we said somebody somebody has a sin that they committ and they want and they want was a natural place to do that as suppos just putting that all at the end I think if you're doing it's appropriate to add it you shouldn't ideally you shouldn't know as we say in Hebrew be you shouldn't you shouldn't you know start saying a 100 names but to say 15 names 20 that's that's considered appropriate and I think that's fine because that would probably be the most natural place that we would want to add it in um I think if you're debating between shat as a catel or yulon as a catchall better to wait to yon simply because it enables you because of what we just what we just discussed I I think it's a personal decision I don't think there's a clear um there's a clear right right or wrong on this it's more a matter of what's what's what's meaningful for some people I know there are some people who don't want to wait till youone because they're afraid it's happened to me a couple of times where I'm like planning on it then your turn them and then before I know it I've already taken the three steps back I'm like oh I lost the opportunity meaning obviously you didn't fully lose the opportunity because as we're going to see you can dive into Hashem even outside the context of of of set prayer but meaning so I think everyone should really in their own way find it where where it's meaningful it is recommended as they say to do it towards the end but it isn't required there's a reason why the gar says you can add it in during during each of these if it's or they initially listed because that's considered appropriate if that's if that's what's most meaningful yes excellent question I don't know I don't know I think it's an excellent question um I'm not sure very good I don't know I I mean I assume that would be something that You' probably do towards the end because you are correct seems toer specifically to is it's a good question yes it has many yes yes many syndrome do have that correct yes many people have that mug to do that that point that point yes I don't yeah I that's a good question I don't I don't think I don't know if it matters necessarily the order many people have theug to add a PUK that's connected to your name uh that's the place and that's also the place where you can add whatever you want as much as you want yeah and then you can add your own personal in in in English now what I want to just also um also note is is that is that as I said just to show that this is something that's not just allowed but is recommended look at the mishura in Source number five we're going to go back to Source number five for one second um where he quotes the again another big uh contemp not contemporary another big another big POS that says that this is something that's appropriate to do these are the things that a person should DAV for he's saying he's giving you advice remember we talked about how in their set text told us what we should be ding for the says these are things you should be ding for you be doing every day for your needs for and that Torah and the traditions of should continue through your children and grandchildren that all of your descendants should should be and that you shouldn't have a puzle in your in your descendants and anything that you know that you need you should D in for if you don't think that you can express yourself clearly in Hebrew it just you can say it in any language you want as long as it's coming from from the depths of your heart now he's going to basically say it's best to do this as we mentioned after it's better to do it after it's opposed to during because since if you ever get if it get if the gets to since you said the first after Shalom you're able to you're able to answer okay so we're not going to be able to get to the second second part they we'll have to save that you'll have to stay suspense uh till till next week but what we saw today was that kazal in their in their Infinite Wisdom I really believe that um as they established a set text for numerous different reasons made sure and understood that there is a need for personal that a person connects to that is personal that comes from the heart and therefore kazal instituted the opportunity to add that to your not just before your main not after your main but Incorporated within the because they really are two sides of the same coin point a person should say the set text that kazal have instituted because it keeps a certain tradition it ensures that we're going to DAV it connects us to all of am Israel it has special kak as we know all the different reasons that we saw the last couple of weeks but at the same time a person needs to be able to incorporate their personal and make it as personal as meaningful as possible and therefore kazal created this beautiful balance enabling us to have the set text but to also have an opportunity within that set text to add our own our own as we say no our own little Pearl our own little part of in order to connect to it and to make the as meaningful as possible next week what we're going to see is the last aspect of which I think is the is the most least understood and the most underestimated which is the opportunity to dve into Hashem outside of the context of these streets filot which is whenever you want wherever you are whenever you are we have remember as we'll see that this was what the what main Fila used to be according to the rambam and it still exists today we just very often don't realize it we don't take advantage of it um and we'll talk about that next week be have a great week everybody again I apologies that I uh that I came late