Modeh Ani | Rabbi Yossi Goldin | December 23rd 2025

I'll do my best to talk louder. That's not this. Is it the same thing? >> I think it's the same thing. Yes. Yes, it is the same thing. Perfect. Okay. Um, so [snorts] first of all, just um some technical announcements. Today's sharim are dedicated in memory of Yakov Manakim bin Yseph and Elazar Pinhasbin Ara Makoen whose yard sites were near Rivish Khanuka sponsored by Rifky Rosenberg and J Shapiro. And [snorts] um and this series um is sponsored by Hedi and Ben Lipshits. Thank you to all those um who uh who has sponsored the sharing. And of course as always um we dive in that our learning today should be a a a form a rafu for all those who are injured um and continuing to um recover from um from this war. and we dab in that hashem should give give guidance to all of our leaders to make the right decisions. Okay. So we're going to do a little bit of a shift um in this class moving forward in that until recently our focus has been on more general topics in um and one of the things that we talked about in detail was the importance uh in terms of improving abraana and improving our is the importance in actually understanding the sitter and going through the sitter and understanding the things that you're that you say. And so starting today, we're going to begin going through the sitter, going through the various filot. Um, and because we've really covered most of the major topics connected to um and so so every day we will or every week that we learn, we will continue moving forward trying to add more meaning to our by going through the that we said. We're going to start with Modi. um we did a number of months ago um talk a little bit about modi but we didn't have a proper source sheet we didn't really go through in a more organized fashion so um that's what we're going to be doing today beginning with the first that we open up with um every single morning and that is an so if you look at your source sheets just to uh read through the itself and and the English translation I thank you or I thank you in front of you to you living and enduring king that you have graciously returned my soul really it's that you have graciously returned my soul within me great is your faithfulness okay so what I want to do today is really go through each part of this trying to understand the various parts of the and hopefully adding some significance and some and some and some meaning. The first thing I'm going to point out which you may have noticed as I read the is that there is a bit of importance in terms of where we put certain aspects of the punctuation. Not only that, but specifically towards the end of the there's actually a mistake in the way we commonly sing the song that actually leads to a misunderstanding in the words themselves. So the beginning is pretty straightforward and again we'll go to detail in a second but thank you the king who is everlasting and continues to exist that you have returned my soul with graciousness with compassion and then you're supposed to actually have a pause great is your is your faithfulness. We'll talk about again exactly what that means. is what amuna is it? Is it our amun and hem is maybe hem's amuna in us. Um there's different interpretations but in the way that it is all norm normally sung we say we say which again could be understood to have understood to be mean that you have returned our our soul with great compassion. The problem is then doesn't make doesn't really make much sense. your faithfulness. It's missing. It's missing the adjective. And therefore, the proper way to say it is again something to keep in mind as we say the itself because the way we say the words impacts our understanding and also is important in in terms of projecting and saying things and saying things correctly. Okay. Where does this come from? What is the history of saying this? Now I did I do see here that we have the second line of Rashid Kakma that's on the source sheet. We're actually not going to discuss that today. Uh we're going to focus specifically on on on Modi. So where does Modani come from? So the the source for the idea of opening up our day with a like Modi actually comes from a Garra that discusses a different and we'll see you'll see what I mean. If you look at source number one the inot and Alat somebody who is about to go to sleep is you should say we're not going to discuss that today and there are some that say all three paragraphs of shama the introd the gumar is introducing and saying this is what you should say when you go to sleep and for our purposes the continuation of the gumar is important which is when you wake up you should start with the of hashem elk which is hashem the soul that you have returned to me to it is pure etc and we go and it goes through the entire of we know what we know as elk okay now what's the relevance between and so the problem is is that there is an issue with waking up and immediately saying the elk what is the problem with us waking up and immediately opening up with elk yes >> exactly This file includes Hashem's name and as many of you are aware we cannot say Hashem's name if we haven't yet washed our hands and therefore it was instituted to say a different file which has a similar theme. The theme of thanking Hashem for returning our soul. We'll talk about it this morning when we talk about Shama. But there was instituted to have a similar which does not include the name of Hashem in order for us to be able to say it immediately upon waking up. And that is where we we began with the of Modi. If you look at source number two, that is what the Mishna uh which is our mainfair written by the so in the in the first of the adds in source number two. It is appropriate to say take immediately when you wake up. Okay. So the quotes this line as the appropriate way for us to begin our day says and then the makes the point that we just made regarding how you're supposed to say the words. He says you're supposed to have a break between after the word and say together means you're supposed to have like an end like a comma and then great thank you so much and then should be said should be said together again for the reason that we said before that is meant to be a a a section of words and there's supposed to be a break between and and and if you look at the bottom line um the sorry the third line I mean the bottom line the middle of the word, a middle of the line continues the mission of you don't need in order to be able to say these words. You don't need you don't need to wash your hands. Even if you know that your hands are dirty um either because we'll talk about this eventually as also in the continuation that what the reason why we wash our hands either because we have our soul has returned or because we're concerned that when we slept our body may have touched our hands may have touched parts of our body that are normally covered which requires you to wash your hands even though that might have happened to say this you don't need to wash your hands because there is no name or even nickname or even kind of there reference we say but that's not considered to be a holy name reference to and therefore we can say these words without without washing our hands okay so that's just a basic understanding of where this came from now let's break down the um again some of these ideas we have discussed before but I think it's good to see everything together in a more organized fashion with all of the sources as well starting with an okay am very logical and I would even I could ask why do we open it but I think the answer is very obvious. Why do we open with these words? Because we believe that one of the foundations to Judaism is the concept of hod the concept of an ability to give thanks. Okay, we know that the name for Jews is Yehudim. Okay, the first Yehood was Yehuda. Okay, if you look at source number three, when Yehuda is born continues says says when when Yehudah or sorry when Leia gives birth give gets pregnant and gives birth again now I will thank Yehudah let us therefore she call his name Yehuda and I don't think it's by coincidence that the name Yehuda has been the name that has come to define us and the name that we are given or that we that we've used to to Yehudi. It makes sense. Yahad, it all comes from the same concept that one of the most foundational aspects of who we are is the importance and the ability to recognize and to thank for the things that we have. >> God, >> sorry. >> Thank God. >> Thank God. But here's the question that I want to start that I want to ask. If I wanted to say thank you, Hashem, there are two ways I could have said this. I could have opened up this line with which is the way that we say it. Or I could have said why does why do we why does the open up not with I thank you right when you want to say thank you to somebody often you say I thank you for what you did I don't say if if you were to say at least in common in common in Hebrew would sound a little bit funny you do say usually you open with I want to thank you why doesn't this know it sounds a little bit strange because we're used to it in an but why is it that we don't start with why do we say good >> so I I I think I think right so she say so what you were suggesting is that maybe because it's a show you're subjugating yourself the way the way that I would say which is I think the same idea there's some kind of difference between when you open up your day with the word ani and when you open up your word, you open up your day with the word mod. The first thing we do automatically in our own minds when we wake up is what do we think about ourselves, right? You wake up in the morning, what's the first thing you think? Oh, my back hurts me or oh, what do I got to do today? Do I really have to get out of bed? All the things that are going on in our minds for our day all of a sudden flow into our and and it's normal and natural for us to be focused on ourselves. Perhaps the lesson here is that fel is meant to be no you know what of course you're going to be thinking about yourselves and of course you need to think about yourselves overall but don't open up your day with the word ani open up the word your day with the mod open up define your day with the concept of hudah define your day recognizing that you have much to thank for and it's again it's a small nuance but I think it's a nuance that I think is is is meaningful yes I saw a question comment >> why is not a >> that's a good question. I think the question of what what do we consider to be again it is a kino for there's no question that it's a reference to right because we is the only I think the question here is from a perspective what's considered a kinoi that has some kind of kusha and what doesn't have kusha so I think is usually referring to what we what we know as shame hashem um and and and and therefore that this isn't a shame hashem for example you can say for example I'll just I mean I'm going to give another example hamak can also be a reference But there's nothing with say with saying the word ham before you wait before you wash your hands. There are certain names that have a certain level of kadusha because of the way they're used from aic perspective and some that don't. Um >> I I I think that that's generally understood to have a certain level of kaduca. I think names that we normally won't say in vain is probably the best way of of thinking about of think thinking about this. For example, can I say I know that's referenced? Yes. But I I I think you can say that because it doesn't have that level of kadusha. So it is a kinoi in that it is a reference to hashem but it's not a kino that has kusha that you need to wash your hands before you say it. That's the way I'm understanding it. >> Yes. Leia she didn't have I mean but but we learned once that because she didn't ask for more and remind me of what we learned. >> Ah so you're interesting >> interesting. So you're saying you're saying there that there there are some opinions who say that the reason why when Leang Hashem the reason that it says right afterward she stopped giving birth was because she didn't ask for more. So it got into our question that some were asking we we discussed last week whether whether or not it's appropriate when you thank Hashem for something to then jump and thank and ask for more. We we talked about Alan. It's an interesting point and and a good question. Okay. Thank you. So so that that that I think is point is point number two. Point number point number one is obviously we open our day with hod. We open up our day with thanks. That is who we are as Jews. That is who we are as Yehudim from Yehudah. The recognition that fundamentally who we are is recognition that we that we think we we recognize where things come from whether it's individuals or it's point number two is the concept that we don't just start we don't say. We say mod ani because there's something different about opening up our day with the word mod as opposed to opening opening up our day our day with the word ani. But there is more. If you look at source number four uh hutner in in in his well-known safer pit has a beautiful idea regarding the concept and the word hod and he points out that the word leod can mean two things in Hebrew. What could they mean? >> Either to thank. Thank and acknowledge are similar. But the other way also means >> to admit. So look look at source number four. We'll read it inside. He has it's a beautiful idea to admit. To admit can also mean to admit I admit to something. Okay. So look at source number four. He he uses a bit of a of a flowery language. He says in the in the in the in in the in in the word in the building of the words of two concepts were invited to the same inn to the same to the same location. Again he's using like a imagery here. One concept is an expression of giving thanks. Okay. And I he's quoting the there. I won't even try to to to to pronounce it because I'll mess it up. And the second concept that also means is the concept of admitting. I admit to somebody else. In terminology, there's a concept called Yeah, that one I'm not even going to try. Uh [laughter] but okay, thank you. I hope I did I hope I did justice. to these two concepts giving thanks and admission. They all have the same expression and that is the word. For example, there in there's a concept of hodatin refers to as a a a court case where you have two sides. You have a plaintiff and you have a defendant and the plaintiff admits to the defendant. Now that's called hodat baldin. One side of the court case admits to the other regarding regarding parts of the case means that one person agrees to the words of the other side. We're in the third line the middle. We just we just started the third line. So when a person uh thinks about the past it means that you're expressing thanks on something that that was done in the past. Now says is there it's not it's there's no coincidence. What is it? Is there significance or what sign significance is there in the fact that the same word leodc can mean to think and to admit says something very powerful an explanation of this commonality or this the fact that they're the same word is used to describe both concepts deep embedded in a person's psyche There is embedded in a person's psyche a desire to be totally independent, not to rely on anybody else without needing to rely on other people. We're uncomfortable from a natural perspective needing other people, asking for other people. Right? There's always the joke about the about about the husband asking for help, asking for directions, ask right? We want we're proud. We're proud people who feel independent and never like to require or need help from somebody else. Anytime a person turns to somebody else or to and expresses thanks Every expression of thanks includes within it an admission that I needed you that without you I could not have done something. So when I thank somebody for something, what I'm basically doing is I'm being honest and admitting, you provided me with something that I couldn't have gotten myself or that I couldn't have done myself. And therefore, every act of thanks includes within it this expression, this hod, this admission that I am not totally independent and I need other people or other people help me in the things that I that I do. But often Therefore, on a deeper level, every act of thanks is also really in admission that I am not that I need other people for for certain things. says says our partner every time we thank Hashem what we're doing is we're admitting that we need we're admitting that in this relationship we are dependent on and that is part of our expression of thanks is saying to thank you in parenthesis I couldn't have done it without you and it's it's it's reminding us and admitting to to to ourselves to our that we have a need that can that only can fulfill. If you look at the second to last line, the anim animalistic or the natural the the the part of a of a person is to have this sense of I can do everything right means I I'm responsible for everything. I control everything. Everything all accomplishments that I have are all because of me. And when when instead a person turns to Hashem and says thank you Hashem then you are admitting that you would not have been able to accomplish this without and that says is the deeper understanding of the relation of what thanks is thanks isn't just thank you Hashem it's a recognition to and to ourselves that in this relationship we need yes that English translation >> better as gratefulness as opposed to thank you. >> Okay. The question was shouldn't shouldn't would the proper English translation be gratefulness as opposed to thank you. It could be um I mean I don't I don't I don't have any I do I do agree that thank I mean a person who is thankful I think is grateful. I think I think it's a bit of I agree with you. I think it's a bit of semantics in the sense that what's the difference between being thankful and being grateful. I agree with you. There's a different there there must be a difference. They're different words. Yeah. I I mean again the way I would just say it is we have to recognize that when we are thanking Hashem part of that thanks is obviously being grateful and rec but also recognizing. Yes, I agree with you. I think I think that's a good point. If you look at source number five and then I'll get to your question. Rabbi Abraham J. Torski mentions this point in a similar way but also kind of in his classic style applies it to more modern-day scenarios. Source number five. Moda ani also contains another element of we express our gratitude to Hashem for his kindness in giving us another day of life. Acknowledging a kindness and expressing gratitude are pivotal in Judaism and are recurrent theme in file. Feeling and gratitude should not be taken lightly. There seems to be an inherent reluctance to do this. Mothers will tell you how reluctant youngsters may be to say the word thank you. The reluctance to acknowledge and express grat. And by the way, it's not just youngsters. It's also adults who are like youngsters. The reluctance to acknowledge and express gratitude undoubtedly has its origins in feelings of low self-esteem. People who harbor inferiority feelings may interpret, sorry, that's a typo, receiving a favor as being dependent on others. A person who doesn't feel good about themselves never wants to feel like they're dependent on somebody else. It makes them feel not good and therefore they're hesitant to express that. Just as a small child who feels dwarfed in a world of grown-ups will stand on a chair and declare, "Look how big I am." So may who people or those who feel inferior try to demonstrate their superiority. I am totally self-sufficient and do not need any help. Is the equivalent of a child's attempt to show his height. And so as as as Rabbi Dr. points out this concept or this reluctance to say thank you very often comes from this hesitation to admit that we needed somebody else or that we needed a bar. And this applies in modern day just as much as it applied when eroded as well. And therefore this the the the depth and significance of when we when we say the words and we start our day with modi is a reminder of being thankful and grateful but also deeply recognizing that we are dependent on for everything that happens in our lives. Yes. >> I think as we grow older we can appreciate every single wonderful moment when I light candles Friday night. Thank you Hashem for my family for my neighbor for my home. I am extremely grateful and then I finish watch over our soldiers who are out there to protect. >> Amen. Amen. Excellent. I I I definitely >> love Friday night. >> I definitely would would would agree with the sentiment that as a person um becomes older and wiser there's a certain understanding and recognition um of of what they have to be thankful for and also recognition of their dependence on. I think that is that is that is true. I think I think when we're when we're younger there's a certain the definitely takes over the sense of you're younger you have more control we're you know and I think the the the vibrancy of youth sometimes makes us feel like it's all us and therefore there's a l there's not as much of an an automatic recognition and I agree that as we get older and wiser so then we're able to uh to recognize that in a more natural way. Yes. Thank you. But I want to take this a little another step. If you look at source number six, Rabbi Lord Jonathan Saxs points out that the concept of thankfulness isn't just important for the is for what what we just described. But there is something else that happens when we are thankful and that is being thankful causes us to in our own minds more appreciate what we have. Look at source number six. If your new car makes me envious, I may be motivated to buy a more expensive model that that I ever needed in the first place. Sorry for the typo. which will give me satisfaction for a few days until I discover another neighbor who has an even more costly vehicle. And so it goes. And if it's not a vehicle, it's a house, it's a it's whatever we insert insert the blanks. Should I succeed in satisfying my own envy, I will only do I will do so only at the cost of provoking yours in a cycle of conspicuous consumption that has no natural end. Hence the bumper sticker, he who has the most toys when he dies wins. The operative word here is toys for this is the ethic of the kindergarten and they should have no place in a mature life. The antidote to envy is gratitude. Who is rich? Asked Benzma and he replied right one who rejoices in what he has. There is a beautiful Jewish practice that performed daily is life transforming. The first words we say on waking are an I thank you living and eternal God king. We thank before we think. Beautiful line. Judaism is gratitude with attitude. I like that also. Cured of letting other people's happiness diminish our own. We release a wave of positive energy allowing us to celebrate what we have instead of thinking about what other people have and to be what we are instead of wanting to be what we are not. And so what Rabbi Sax is pointing at is that another advantage, another purpose to opening up our day with hod is not just because that's who we are. And it's not just in order to in order to remember that we're dependent on but when we want focus on what we have and what we're grateful for, it makes us happier people. The more we appreciate what we have, the more thankful for our for we are for what we have, the happier we are. And the one one I remember then after reading this thinking that there was there was one the one author and I think uh Jewish scholar who used to highlight this in he has many books and I I don't have I didn't I didn't have any anything to bring you but I'll just mention him by name Rabbi Zelicliskin. Rabbi Zelicliskin used to write many books on happiness. That was one of the things he used to write about a lot. And one of the things I remember I remember hearing him talk was he said if you really want to become happy every single day, beginning of the day, the end of the day, write down 15 reasons, 15 gifts that Akadesh Baraku gave you today and put that in your wallet and go over it every single morning. Because the more we think about what we have, very often that our challenges come from a focus on what we don't have or on our challenges and we fail to think about it to remember what we do have. Cuz most of us have wonderful brah in our lives. The question just is what are you focusing on? Is your mind focused on what you don't have? But if you take a step back and think about we have this and we have health and we have ch what whatever it is in each of our own lives that paradigm shift can change the way we go about our lives. And therefore, Senator Mliskin, if you just spent every day either writing it down or having he used, I remember he there was a card that he once carried and had a list of like different things that that a person could be thankful for. And we can each make make this own list, make our own list by making that list and going over it and reminding ourselves of the things we have to be thankful for. That actively can help create happiness. And it's the same thing here by beginning our day as risk says we thank before we think. The first thing we do before we start ideally before we start thinking about all the things that we have to do today and why we don't want to get out of bed. Thank you Hashem for what I have that is also meant to psychologically help us as we begin our day hopefully in a in a more positive and meaningful way. Did you read the book any? >> I haven't yet, but I would like to. >> One of the things he says yeah, one of the hostages. Yes. >> One of the things he says is that there were a group of four or five coming together and every night before they went to bed, he made everybody say one good thing that happened to them. >> Incredible. Incredible. I mean I mean I continue to read more and hear more about about the stories of of of their incredible amuna and their and their ability to you know as we say mind over matter. Whatever is in your mind that is the most important and there it shows the power of the mind the things that they were able to whether it was the seeing the video of the of the Kaneka candles by those hostages were who were unfortunately mur later murdered to see them lighting Kaneka candles singing Kaneka songs in the state they were in was incredibly emotional but also to hear these stories to hear to hear their their ability to control and say I'm not I'm I'm there physically but I'm not going to let allow and again it reminds me but it reminds me of stories also of many of the holocaust and the shawah who basically say they might they might they might have me physically but they're I'm not going to allow them to break me emotionally and uh and it's incred it's incredibly powerful. Thank you. Sorry. Yeah. I think you Yeah. >> Excellent. What's >> Excellent. So, we're about to get to that next round. We've we've started with Modi. We didn't get to yet. >> Good. Good. We're Excellent. We're going to get to now. We'll get to that's that's a very good point. Yes. >> When you say thank you, you kind of make a miserable visible because sometimes people don't know that they've done something that is helpful. So when you thank them, it becomes apparent. >> Sure. Excellent. >> Excellent. What you're saying is that the the another advantage to thanks is that sometimes people do things for you and they don't even realize that they've done something for you. Uh I don't know, for example, you know, watching you do really inspired me. Thank you. And you're thinking they're like, I just ded I didn't really do it or whatever it could be. You didn't even realize that the smile you gave me that day helped me on my way. So say so it also takes something which was unknown and people didn't even realize and it makes it create. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. Very nice. Okay. So that's modi. We've only done two words so far. Modi. Don't worry, we're going to go to faster pace throughout the ding over bigul. Uh yes. One more comment. >> Yes. That's what we're up to. Why is saying to you now that I'm here? >> Oh, >> because when I'm asleep, I'm not here. I'm here and I'm asleep. >> Excellent. Okay. Okay. So, so the question is what's what's the more standard or what would it seem to be the more typical expression would have been why is it so you're pointing out the is a reference to the fact that I'm recognizing that when I'm awake I'm much more conscious and present and therefore I'm standing before you what's the means to you means before you okay so one concept is suggesting that is a recognition that I'm standing before you I think it even highlights something a little bit more than that which is I think that is meant to intro in introduce the concept which we're about to talk which which is important as well which is a recognition that everything we do in this world we're doing in front of okay the concept of what we would call the concept of recognizing that we're standing in front of as we begin our day very often throughout our day we tend to forget very often we'll we'll do something and we like oh look around is anyone is anyone watching no one's watching okay I can do it okay or I'm driving this way are any cops around okay fine it's fine or whatever ever it is and we fail and it's natural. It's human to sometimes forget that there is a being that is watching and seeing everything and therefore we need to begin our day with that recognition in order to hopefully remind us of that fact. If you look this reminds me of a very very a relatively famous Gimra source number seven. Source number seven this is a story of what happened Zakai uh one of the big what happened when he was when he was when he was about to die. When got sick, his came in to visit him. When he saw them, he started crying. His students said to him, "Nra, our light, our main pillar, the strongish is like a hammer, but like the strong." Again, this reference to being the prominent figure in their lives. What are you crying about? you you're going to if it was a physical king that was taking me that any physical king is here today tomorrow he's gone if he gets upset at me it's not an eternal and if he were to tie me up and I wouldn't be tied up forever and if he were to kill me or if he were to declare death. It's not an eternal death because um because we have we have and I always have the opportunity if it's a human king I could always you know try to appease him. I could try bribe him. There's always there's always hope. And I would still I would still be crying because I'd be scared of that king. Now that I'm about to they're bringing me down to the heaven he heavenly abode to the kingdom of Hashem, the king of kings. He's he he lives forever. That if he's upset that if he gets angry that angry could potentially remain forever. If he were to tie me up, if he were to take me captive, that could exist forever. I can't just, you know, bribe him and just try to as obviously I could do chuva, but the point is that it's not easy to do it. There are even two paths in front of me. One is and one is and I don't know which one I'm going on. wouldn't cry meaning he's saying this is a serious matter this is that we're dealing with this is the king of kings then ask him say something fascinating they say to himu please give us a a parting before you pass away and this is the he gives them let it be the will that you should fear Fear Hashem like you fear flesh and blood. Say the students turn to him and say that's that's the like that's that's all you have to tell us right now. He says you should be able to fulfill this bra. You should know when a person sins when we're about to do something wrong what do we do? We look around and we make sure that no one's seeing us. So sorry that's it. So, so the point is what do we look around we say don't you look what what are we forgetting when we do a sin that Hashem is watching so we should be to have this awareness that everything we do we're doing in front of me I think that's why we stress the it's a recognition we're reminding ourselves as we get up and we begin our day everything we do in this world we're standing in front of a and we have to remember that and we have to and that should and that should impact how we act. If you look here, if you look at source number eight, this this concept of being aware, what I what I would call God awareness, God awareness, an awareness that we're in front of is telling that the Rama is in his in his amendment to the to the as we know is and it was written to teach us in sim the first of the Rama adds on the following words. Let's look at source number eight. I will place Hashem opposite me always. Which means that everything I do, I will try to be aware of. This is an important message in Torah and inadim who walk in front of. It was actually a famous song many many years ago. Because there is no situation where a person is doing certain things sitting at home and he's by himself. The way that a person acts when he is at home versus when he is in front of a king. The way that a person talks when he is at home with his relatives is different than the way he talks in front of a king. Certainly when he remembers and pays attention to the fact that hem is in front of him that fills up the entire world and sees what you're doing as the says can a person hide and I won't see him and then a person will have a certain awareness and a recognition and a fear but I don't mean fear and like being scared but an awe an awareness that I'm in front of God and that means that the way that a person acts throughout their day will be different because if a person has this awareness that they're in front of wherever they are then there are certain things you won't say because you know that Hashem is listening there are certain things we won't do now again this doesn't mean that we have to walk around shaking and and and but it means that maybe there's a certain dignity that a person will carry himself with if he has this awareness. So perhaps the is meant to highlight that we're not just thanking Hashem for all that he did, but we're recognizing that the person we're talking to, the being, excuse me, that we're talking to is and we have to have that awareness throughout throughout our day. Let's move on. The next part of the of the of of of the is that you returned to me my my soul. And that is ultimately what we're thinking. That's the first thing we're thinking when we say it's not really meant to be thank for everything. We're opening up with things. But it's that you returned my soul. Thank you. Now, where does this concept come from? What does that mean that we're thanking Hashem for returning our soul? This is based on the Garan source number nine. The Gar source number nine says the following. There are five things that are 160th of something else in the world. For example, Shabbat, they are fire, honey, shabas, sleep, and dreams. Fire is 160th of the pain of what it will be in in hell. The taste of honey is is 160th of what the man that fell in the midbar tasted like. Shabbat Shabas is one the experience of Shabas is 160th of the of the experience of that's why we say that there's it's a taste of sleep is 160th the experience of sleep is 160th of 60th of the experience of death and dreaming is is 1/60th of the experience of prophecy So what this Gamarra already highlights is that sleeping is somehow connected to to death based on this in the world of Kabala they say that when a person goes to sleep his nishama leaves his body and goes up and spends time with with up in heaven and that when we wake up it is as if our our nishama has returned has returned to our soul >> and that so yes >> if you go to visit somebody who's sick or have you taken away anything >> that is also that There is a concept that is a it's a it's a diff it's a it's a different kamar it's a different kamar it's a different kamarra that says that if a person goes to visit someone who is sick so then so then they take away 160th of their of their illness yes this um we were taught that when we go out at night 160th we see our people that are no longer with us here we visit with them and tell them what's going on >> ah so so what you learned is that part of this cabalistic idea is that when our when our soul goes up to heaven it spends time not just with our kures but it spends time with their loved ones who are no longer. That's beautiful. I never heard that. Very well could be. I certainly don't know what really happens when when our soul goes up, but that that's very very meaningful. And by the way, there is a expression of this. This according to the rashbah in source number 10. This is one of the reasons why we're supposed to wash our hands when we when we wake up in the morning says the rashbah. There's different there's two different reasons and we'll we'll we'll see this in more detail in in in the coming weeks. But one of the reasons that's mentioned and this is mentioned by the rashbah. If you look at source number 10, source number 10, the language that's used is not which is to wash. No tail is a different language for washing your hands. So says the the implies that you hear it isn't just about washing your hands for dirt, but rather you should wash your hands using a cle. We're supposed to use a cup to wash our hands. Why says the why is it that before shak meaning in the morning we're supposed to use a cle and that's more important than some people use a cle also for and but that it's more fundamental to wash your hands before deting in the morning than before than before. Because each morning it is if we have become a new creation, a new day. When our soul returns back to us and we wake up, we are almost as if we are a new it's a taste. It's it's it's an expression of being a new creation. As the says in that our newness or the new experience that we have in the morning is great like your And that's why and we have to thank Hashem for what for what he has done. So the reason says the why we wash our hands specifically in the morning. We're supposed to use a clean and there's a way to do it is because we are a new creation. And that is what we're saying to you have returned my soul to me. Thank you Hashem for giving me the opportunity to continue in my in my avodat in my avodat. Hashem. If you look at source number 11, Rabbi Abraham Jourski note not notes something very beautiful about this concept. The concept that we're thanking Hashem for returning our soul is meant to also once again highlight our dependency on on Hashem. Source number 11. Our relationship with God is not just that of a child to a parent, but of an infant to a parent. What's the difference between an infant and a child? An infant is totally dependent on his parents and develops a trust in his parents knowing that his needs will be addressed and provided. One aspect of is that we become aware of our utter dependence on God not only for our needs but for life itself and that we develop a profound trust that he will provide this for us. Meaning this isn't just about thanking Hashem for everything he gives us but a thanks to Hashem that we have life. Thank you Hashem for returning my soul this day. Thank you Hashem for giving me this day of life. Immediately upon awakening, we declare that we are fully aware of our dependence on God. During the night, we are essentially in a state of suspended animation. Tradition has it that while we sleep, our nishama ascends to heaven. It is cleansed and returned to us in a pure state. As we open our eyes in the morning, we attest to our awareness that our nishama has mercifully been returned to us. We acknowledge our dependence and trust in God. We may extend this to our understanding of Modani. The patient who underos a heart transplant has sufficient trust in his doctor that he allows him to essentially take his life by removing his heart and resurrect him by inserting another in its place. That is the trust in God that we should feel when we retire each night. Just like someone who's about to go in for heart surgery, why is he willing to let this doctor open him up and do what needs to get done? Because he has a complete trust that this doctor is there for his benefit and will help him. Every night before we go to sleep, we basically say to I am entrusting you with my soul with the recognition and the that you will return that soul to me and that I will have the opportunity the next day to continue on my day and to and to and to live and to live life. And so that is I believe what we say when we say obviously just means with compassionate you were compassionate to return to return it. What about the last two words? So, there's two different ways to to really explain the words means great is your belief. >> What does that mean? >> But he says here in the bottom here, >> sorry. Who? >> Yeah, we we're going to get there. We're going to get there right now. We got we're still we're there. >> Absolutely. We're going to get there right now. Excellent. We're going to get there right now. Okay. means great is your belief. That could mean one of two things. The simple understanding is our belief in you. Means great is our belief in you. We believe in you. This is part of our belief. Why are we saying that every single morning? Because again, we're reminding ourselves of our purpose. If you begin your day with a statement of purpose, with a recognition, I believe in you and everything I do is for your service, it changes the way you think. When a person opens up any kind of act, any kind of thing they're going to do with a statement of purpose, it it's meant to change the way that that person acts. It's meant to impact their day. The simple understanding is means it's our belief in however there Yes. >> Could you also mean great is Hashem's belief in you? He woke you up because he believed you make him. >> The second interpretation of excellent. Yes. Very good. Exactly. The second interpretation is does not simply mean our belief in Hashem, but it means great is your belief in me. Great is your belief in me. And this is a number attributed to a number of people. There's a story with the Lababi. Someone once asked Lababby's wife what the Labby's favorite fela was. and she responded with it's a very short and the is because it's an expression of Hashem's belief in us is basically saying to I know that you gave me life for a reason. I know that I'm opening up my day thanking you but I also know that the reason you did that was because you believe in me and that's why I brought here of the statement from the day that you were born is the day Hashem decided that the world could no longer continue without you. I would add to that the day that gives you back your soul to begin a new day is a recognition that there's something that you're meant to accomplish today. There is something that only you can accomplish today and believes in you to accomplish that today. And so that statement of understanding and that deep recognition is something that we that we all should be thinking about believes in me. We're opening up our day by not just thanking not just remembering that we're standing in front of aes but we end by saying believe I know you believe in me and I am going to live my day with that recognition and with [snorts] that purpose just want to end I brought for you at the very end here um two another another a song okay Omar Adam is a very well-known Israeli singer uh more main you know more not not as not not as religious content but he has a beautiful song I encourage you to to to listen to it. It's called Modi. It's it's like a very very popular song in Israel. I brought for you the words here because I think they're very very meaningful. We'll read through it just very quickly. I thank you that you returned my soul. I uh I thank you for the clothes that you put on my body so that I won't be cold. You you you you watch me. I thank you every morning for the uh for the light and for my existence. I thank you for the bread that you put on my on my table so that I won't be so that I won't be uh hungry and that I won't feel I won't feel hurt on the countless smiles. I thank you on my talents on my on all of my songs. All them I will sanctify towards you. You should know that I thank you. I will thank I will shout. Great is your name. To you. I will call. To you is my life. To to you is my heart and my thanks. And there's so much more. He has again I didn't I don't know if I brought you though all of the words but it's worth reading through them. It's a beautiful song and fundamentally it's about what we've been talking about that every morning we have so much to be thankful for and that is the recognition that we that we should have. Now I wanted to also give out uh one of the participants in this year or she's actually not here today um a woman named Esther gave me um something that she actually gave me she brought special from America a copy for me to give you. It is it is a a list of of things that we can thank Hashem for. So, I'm happy to whoever would like I'll I'll pass them out. But it basically is a list of all the times that you help me. Thank you that you're always with me. Thank you for all the times that you helped me. I didn't know I didn't know to say thank you. It even has it even has thank you that sometimes things are sad because everything is for my good even if I don't always see it. And at the end, so it's it's really a beautiful card that I think is important. similar what we were talking about before about Rabbi Pliskin having the having that list, having that thing in our wallet or in our pocketbook or whatever it is reminding us of all the good that we have. So, this is a beautiful example of a card that was made. Um, and she actually brought it for me to to give out. She g brought me a number of copies for me to give out. So, I I'll hand it out and I definitely uh think that it's something that can help us all. Um, okay. So, hopefully the learning that we did today will will add more meaning to our modi tomorrow starting tomorrow and um looking forward to uh to continuing to learn next week.