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Habayit Event - Rabbi Shlomo Farhi Keynote Address
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am Israel is very very
special and sometimes when I come to
events like this I'm actually blown away
I'm blown to
Pieces what was planted inside the heart
and
mind of all of am Israel not rabbis not
great Torah Scholars not Sarah IM menu
not Prophets
the regular people like me and you to
see the turnouts that you see at event
after event after event is just it blows
your mind it's so so special so first of
all I want to
start and a feeling that I'm feeling in
my heart right now is I want to start by
saying thank you
Toad for allowing us to be part of this
special people and this special
community
don't take for
granted that everyone gets this cuz not
everyone gets this and to be born a
Jewish person to be born into this
community is a gift from God and today
when I look around and I don't even know
how many people are
here I am overwhelmed with emotion and
with gratitude to Hashem for letting me
be born into this people for letting me
be born into this community
it's
remarkable and one of the things that
sparked it is because right before I got
up to
speak you know a lot of times my mind is
on what I'm
saying what I want to say what I want to
what I hope to
communicate and sometimes people will
come up and they'll throw a suggestion
at you or ask a question and my mind is
not there I'm thinking and someone ask
you question I'm like I don't I'm not
there
but someone just mentioned to me that
there's a y a day of prayer that was
instituted all around the world for an
injured Soldier whose name was Roy Haim
benav and it was scheduled to be around
1:15 which was closer to where my time
was scheduled to be but end of the day
we're Syrian and you got to love all of
being Syrian or leave it at the
door how we say my father is Syrian
halabi my mother is German Yi which
means
that I always come exactly two hours
late
um but all around the world Amel is
praying together for this
Soldier and what a beautiful thing to
think about that before we begin with
our scheduled remarks for today if I
could ask everyone to stand up please
and open up your
phone to sh Psalm number 121
and we'll say it
together of course all of the soldiers
and all of the hostages they should be
able to come back
home the name
of and is there anything that we want
more for them to come back home to their
B please rabai repeat after me or
together with me
121 for
amen thank you so much please find your
seats
today's class in honor of this
incredible organization is dedicated in
loving memory of Martin d by his
family anonymously donated I'm going to
have in mind the three names that they
gave me quietly to
myself and Le lunat Phil Shelby and
Bish
ladies what are we here to do today
we're here to celebrate and to support
an
organization that provides exactly what
it says on the tin it provides Hab it
provides a home and I thought maybe it
would be worthwhile to learn together
today a little bit about the Jewish
perspective on what is a
home and in understanding that to maybe
understand what it is that Hab provides
for people in their greatest hour of
need in their most vulnerable
time I want to quote to you the words of
the
gimar the gar in Shabbat on page 118
says as
follows used to
say I never called my wife my
wife I called my wife my
home what a fascinating thing guy would
come home he wouldn't say honey he would
say
home right unbelievable he would call
his wife his
home now it's I struggled the first time
I read this to understand what it
actually
means but then I realized that there was
a second part of the gimar that really
shed light on what this is telling us
because r uh RAB Yosi he didn't only
have a funny name for his wife
home he had another name a funny name
for something else I don't know if any
of you is an expert in the gimar and
Shabbat but the gimar says he also would
call he would call his ax his
field Rashi explains what does it mean
that he would call his wife his home and
he would call his Ox his field rash
says because she is the main stay of the
home but what does that mean does it
mean that a woman or what only thing
she's good for is to be a homemaker
that's what it
means she's the main stay of the home
she's the pillar of the home what does
it
mean and I think it is useful and
constructive to understand what we
learned about his ax to understand
something about his
wife for the comparison to compare you
to his it's not what I
mean what did the ox do for the
field the ox took a piece of Earth and
in plowing that piece of Earth what did
it do it created something
that could not have been created from it
alone a house is a place that has a roof
and a couch and a bed and even a
refrigerator but a home is something
completely and utterly different the ox
was capable of making it and preparing
it so that it could grow trees it could
grow fruit it could grow tiua it could
make unbelievable things until you can
dig in the earth you can't build the
foundation of home so what does it mean
that she
is the foundation the essence of the
home could not be created without that
woman without his wife so he called his
wife not just wife because that's an
insult to her she's not only the person
he chose she's not only the person he's
married to she's someone who magically
is creating something that without her
could never never
exist ladies I want to talk to you this
morning about the function and the power
of a Jewish
Home I think that often times we don't
realize exactly what it is that we are
giving in our
homes you know the PUK says
in that a mother she does something
unique
she gets up in the middle of the
night moms get up in the middle of the
night and what do they do they give they
give
food to the
home and they give a
lesson to those to their young now I
don't know about you but when I grew up
if I rocked up at midnight and I asked
my mother to make me
dinner I'm not going to say she hit
me but I don't know if she's making
dinner at all hours of the day or night
for her child I don't know if that's is
that a thing I remember one time being a
yiva boy coming home I had a bunch of
friends some of them are now rabbis in
the community we got back it was very
late we jumped in the pool okay we was
so hungry we didn't know what to eat I
open up the freezer I see a big piece of
meat I was like
fantastic meat equals
Grill so by now it's 12:30 1 o'clock in
the morning take this big piece of meat
sticking on the grill it's going to be
awesome all the boys eating meat off the
grill middle of the
night little did I
know some of the moms are already
nodding at my stupidity
I did not know that
brisket was not a thing that you throw
on the
grill also I did not know that you could
not put a giant Frozen
brisket directly on the
grill I think we finished cooking it at
like 4
a.m. at which point we realized that
meat and ch gum have so much in
common if you're
a like
me what does it
mean you feed your kids every night in
the middle of the
night you know what the answer
is I don't think it means that you give
them dinner at all hours of the day or
night I think it means that when a a
child knows
when a child learns that his mother has
his back that his mother will be there
for him no matter what no matter when no
matter what he's going through no matter
what he's like no matter what she's like
that is the food that is the nourishment
that children learn to be able to be
self-supportive that they're able to
take care of themselves make their own
meals make their own decisions you know
what
gives that a child
knows that if I need to if I needed my
mom she'd be
there I think in shim I hope my mom
forgives
me I think it's sham they're gonna one
of the things they're going to call me
out on I'm sure there's a long list but
one of the things they're going to call
me out on is do you remember all those
times when you came back really
late and your mom was waiting on the
couch you know wanting to make sure you
got home
safe I hope she forgives me because if
not I'm going to pay for that but I'll
tell you something is there a greater
gift that you could give your children
than your children knowing that no
matter what time and no matter how you
come home you're there for them is no
greater
gift so you know what the effect of the
home is
is you know what the food of the home
the nourishment of the home is that
someone will always be there for
you moms is this true your kid comes
home and they didn't get a
A+ how are
you good some of you answered some of
you were like
well well there's always the other
kids your kid came they made a mistake
you give up on them you scream at them
you put them down is that what parenting
is the nature of a is the fact that
something creates something that could
not otherwise have been created and what
is the secret ingredient to creating
this magical new thing it is the
supportive feeling of knowing that
someone will always be there now I need
to share this with you because I think
that there's something here which is
magnificent you
know I'm a rabbi in the
city that's why you only see me in the
summer you see me until you get sick of
me in the summer and then we say goodbye
for another 10
months ladies but how many
times of Shabbat do I get a panicked
phone call
my daughter my son my wife I'm going in
I don't know where to stay where do I go
where where could I be in the city
they're telling me I need to come in
they're telling me we need to stay over
Shabbat where am I going to get food
from who could deliver now people don't
think we have kosher food in Manan by
the way I love you Brooklyn people I
love
you you know we're also
Jewish we even have in Uris or as the
ashas people say
ladies that panicked phone call has an
answer and the answer is four letters
long in Hebrew hey B
you that's it that's all I have to tell
them everything good in this world
happens on a Tuesday did you know
that you buy a house when are you
supposed to buy it Tuesday
I have a guy once told me listen Rabbi I
don't know what to do uh you know I have
to move into the house that otherwise
we're going to lose the house but they
can't close on Tuesday am I allowed to
buy it on any other day I was like Ro
come here let me give you a hug let me
explain to you the difference between a
law and a nice
thing right how these things have
become I always crack up how in our
community there's this thing about the
number the the number we can't say the
number
are you familiar with the
number I just want to this is a pet
peeve so can I just do this this is good
for me for my own therapy can I do this
is that right can I waste like a 60
seconds of your time I was s wants to
give a class in the house next to 498 on
the street next to the
park I knew exactly what she was saying
I was like okay I'll be at 496
on Central Park
West they didn't want to say the number
I don't know where this item came from
it's not Jewish by the way we're like
obsessed with this it's terrible
luck I just want you to know I did a
wedding this week and someone told me
that they were married
byom and I said you have a picture of
the kba I want to see how they spell the
name because I it's nice to have it
spelled the same way there any different
ways you could spell a name in Hebrew
different opinions so I said send me
the any one
more the dome right
then do you know the numbers that they
put in the you know what number he used
to write in
the sorry
5518 how you
doing I went to rabum I was like we need
to tell the people that they need to
relax look at
he says you know before he wrote 5518 he
used to write 5555 I
went that was too much even for
me is that
amazing my friends mazal is
beautiful but there's something more
powerful than Maz and that is
z the merits that we get from ourv the
that we offer and I want to share with
you a story that has nothing to do with
Maz or ham or anything like
that a story that explains the power of
the mitvah that we're all doing today in
supporting them I hope you spent a lot
of money and if you didn't
yal your husband's checking the bills
anyway let him see more money for
this
okay there's a woman who is coming from
a very long way away to get fertility
treatments they've been married 12 years
this is right in the beginning of in by
its
Inception it's very difficult for them
because they got the phone call they get
on the plane they don't know what
they're going to do they're trying to
figure things out they're try they made
a phone call they're going to stay by
someone there's a basement I don't even
know where they found someone they're
going to stay they're trying to
everyone's hectic they call the guy to
double check right before they get on
the plane the guy says oh I didn't know
that you were confirmed I thought you
were just asking me I gave it away to
somebody else they're getting on the
plane they have nowh to
go okay as they get on the plane they're
flying across the ocean they're telling
each other it's going to be good it's
going to be good beem it's going to be
good it's going to be good they land
they make the Fone call the guy says
listen I don't really have a place
there's another basement you could stay
if you want to go in maybe you could
stay in the basement I hope I'm doing it
justice I hope I'm telling it corly you
could stay in the basement they don't
know they get to the basement it's
filthy the place is a mess they they
feel like you know I know some my wife
and I we know someone she never goes to
a hotel without bringing her own
sheets anyone else here oh see okay
whatever right she's like whatever she
doesn't want to right the place that
they're sleeping in their clothes
they're like this they don't even want
to get undressed there like has they
keep saying it's going to be good Hashem
Hashem Hashem they call
somebody someone that has a business
relationship with someone that's
involved over here in hav and they said
is there any short-term Apartments could
we rent someplace for a month for two
months for three months it's very hard
to find that and by the way in New York
City they passed laws against Airbnb if
Airbnb was available I by maybe would we
wouldn't have such a need but they
cancelled all Airbnb in the city it's
very difficult trying to find they can't
find the place to rent but this person
says but did you try Hab the guy had not
even heard of it they said oh this is
the answer we have a perfect place it's
beautiful they called the couple they
say we have a beautiful apointment for
you was the couple say we'll be the
judge of
that had that took a bath in purel he
gets in the car right he gets there they
can't believe it they're flipping out
the place is beautiful the place is
clean there's food in the pantry there's
signs on the wall where the shoes are
what time the prayers are there's game
in the W everything is there they can't
believe it it's
amazing that couple after 12 years of
waiting and 12 years of
praying merited to have their baby and
many of the staff actually went to be
there to celebrate that miracle baby in
their 13th year of trying someone who
stayed in Hab
beautiful but it gets a little weirder
ready to get
weird a woman comes from Canada
unfortunately this happened last year
she has a brain
tumor there's nowh to stay what does
everyone tell her by this time
Hab fantastic let's go she goes and she
stays in this apartment what's the
problem it's so dangerous this tumor
that they at this point have no option
but to operate on it but they tell her
if we operate on the tumor you're going
to lose at least Vision in one eye
you're going to lose your hearing you're
going to maybe lose it's it's a disaster
but it will save your life this young
mother she decides what is option does
she have she goes into this
surgery after the surgery is over she
wakes
up and she starts
screaming I can hear I can
hear and the doctors flipping out
there's impossible there's no way that
this is going to happen the doctors are
yelling it's not us this was not us I
don't know how this is possible she says
I can see and the doctor is saying he's
admitting this is not us we didn't do
this this is impossible how is this
happening and the woman says you know
I've been staying in this apartment they
and they found out the people from the
organization found out they got everyone
saying t for us they got everyone in the
community praying for us the doctors are
flipping out to the point where everyone
on the floor is running into the room to
see this modern medical
miracle
unbelievable
anyway a woman checks in to Hab it after
she leaves same
apartment and what does she have the
exact same
tumor now a woman from Mexico is here
same
Hospital same
doctor same
apartment she goes in and the doctor is
telling her about all the things and
she's getting very
nervous no sight no hearing at this
point they have no idea that the woman
is connected to this organization still
and the doctor says but I'll have you
know we just had a woman in here who had
the surgery and her s sight was fine
and her hearing was fine and it wasn't
us she got everyone in the community to
pray for her maybe you should get
everyone in the community to pray for
you look at what is doing installing and
instilling and in people's
hearts the doctor was a go he was not
Jewish he's advising in the
preop leave scrub shower Psalms
yeah anyway they do the surgery the
woman wakes up she keeps her hearing she
keeps almost all of her sight and the
doctor's flipping out and the people in
Hab by the way they're getting they're a
little bit used to some of these
beautiful Miracles but they're a little
you know come on the doctor say there's
no chance and it happens twice in a row
how are these homes not only miraculous
in what they give to the people but how
are were they making Miracles and they
came up with a solution they came up
with a theory there's a great Rabbi
ellot quoted
before Rabbi Cohen and that was the
apartment that he was staying in he'
stayed in for a while already and they
thought maybe it's the Z of the rabbi
the mazal of the rabbi beautiful sigul
Maz they called the rabbi and the rabbi
said nah it's not
me you know what what's making these
miracles for
people
thees of the volunteers to clean and to
pack that home the people that are
donating the money with such love with
such care and concern these homes are
homes of Love they're homes of and in
the of the people that are putting
everything into it what's the
outcome the outcome is that they're
seeing yeshu in the hospital after
staying in such a beautiful and warm
embrace says the maharal you know what
the definition of a b is of a home
something that envelops you something
that wraps you up something that makes
you feel safe I never called my wife my
wife says rosi I called it my house cuz
when a house gives you what a wife what
a mother could then that home can do
miraculous things it can take children
through traumatic experiences it could
take five or 10 different kids and let
each one find their way it can be a safe
haven for people who have nowhere to go
it could reins and reinvigorate people
that is the power of that love and
concern to be able to do the craziest
things that you could never have
imagined ladies
I don't know the rabbi
well but I want to share with you that I
found this idea in the Z AL and I want
you to hear this because when I read it
I was
shaking y'all ready for
this I'm gonna read you the zor the zor
is
in therefore I'm just reading you the
words in Hebrew so you know I'm not
making any of this up
you need to know this also for your
other job yeah okay when someone is
building a
building when you start to build it to
put it
together you should mention with your
mouth that I'm building this house I'm
building this apartment I'm Furnishing
this
place to serve
the
says when a person is trying to build
you got to build a home with
righteousness could you build it without
righteousness without
kindness and when you build it that
way the help of Heaven is present in
that
home when they got these
apartments what did they do they furnish
them for one purpose they didn't rent
them out on the weekends when no one's
there for everybody else to use they're
not putting the money in their pocket
this is only there waiting to do the
greatest act
of wrapped up into one beautiful Mitzvah
and when you do a Mitzvah that way you
build it that way that cakon can make
caterpillars into butterflies it can
give something wings
God puts his in that
place and he declares on that place
Shalom I don't want to read you the
end the second part of this talks about
when a person builds their house with
another
intention when they build it for the ego
when they build it to poke someone
else's eyes out you know take down the
bushes in the front I want everyone to
see the
house cut down the bush you know let's
advertise when a person builds house for
ego for Cav to
create
competition when a person builds a house
and they want to have in mind to do
things with the house that are not the
best thing look at our community
everyone in the community practic
at some point in the summer has an event
in their house they're inviting people
in for a home
invasion they're putting up tents
they're trampling their grass
unbelievable moving chairs tables you
know what this lawn's going to look like
tomorrow but I'll tell you one thing oh
boy was it worth it kind of you have
when you do something like this
extraordinary it pays in dividends in
Spades my friends so I don't want to
read you the end because the end what he
talks about when a person builds it that
way and what it brings is not so nice
and sometimes I think to myself that
when a person feels in their home that
only bad things are there only bad Ma
it's not only Juju it's not only because
once upon a time someone put a certain
number on the
door it's because the place was not
infused with kadha this is why by the
way the minute you move into a house
what are you supposed to do you build
you make
a what is auk it's a declaration that
this house is being built used for what
for Torah for blessings when you do that
you bring blessing to the home you bring
protection to the
home I once was doing auk a little bit
right around the corner from here I
finished
theuk the father-in-law and
mother-in-law of the guy were at theuk
they're like oh we never knew this was a
thing they never heard of
it could we still do it we didn't just
move in I said no problem
brilliant I went to do BU it in their
house we're sitting down they put out
the thing I get the book so the day
before by the son-in-law the next the
day two days later by the father-in-law
I sit down at the table I like oh when
did you buy the
place he says
uh 42 years
ago better late
than
never better late than never but better
earlier than
late and better before you even start
than
early the only purpose where we rented
these apartments for Hab the only
purpose was for Mitzvah and when you do
that these homes have
power ladies and gentlemen I told told
you that you only do good things on a
Tuesday
why what does that mean it's double good
what does that mean double double your
refreshment ises that what what does
that
mean
huh blessings what's the blessings
what's two times good
good who
knows init when God sees every day he
says and God saw he told it was good God
saw it was good on Tuesday it says twice
God said about this day kto
twice it is called good twice my friends
at the Apex of Hab they had 17
Apartments that's on their website 17 is
the numerical value of
12 we now have
14 but we're getting that 12 back
back we need an apartment next to
Sloan Sloan is one of the top hospitals
for cancer in the whole world and people
come to our community from all of these
countries to stay in that
hospital they need an apartment
nearby there are times when people are
stuck in the hospital with someone that
they love and I ask them Friday night
come to me for dinner you know how far I
live from Sloan Sloan is on
68th my house is on 72nd it's four
blocks and you know what they tell me
Rabbi it's too
far it's too far what if something
happens these people need a place right
near the
hospital it doesn't help them in slown
so much over Shabbat if they have an
apartment in Brooklyn let's
go every woman here put something in the
thing for that apartment next to Sloan
next to
NYU speak to your husbands tell them
this is the most beautiful mvah in the
world you're copying God himself who
visits
Abraham let's
go these apartments do
Miracles my friends I'd like to end I'd
like to end with
this the Shabbat on page
119 tells us something that many of you
have heard
before used to
say there's two Heavenly
Angels they accompany a person on Friday
night some of you might know what this
is sh
[Music]
welcome Angels ministering Angels who
you saying hello
to my kid he's an angel
no there's two angels that come home
with the husband from sh on Friday
night and what
happens one Angel is a good one
and one Angel is a bad
one when they come into the
house and he sees a candle that's
lit and a table that's
set and the beds are
made the good Angel
says next week I bless you it should be
exactly like this let the good times
roll and the negative angel
the bad Angel what
happens he doesn't want to say Amen but
he's forced to could you imagine him
with his teeth gritted this
Angel fine
amen but if he finds the opposite says
the gar everything is all over the place
they're fighting and there's no candles
and the table's not set and nothing
nothing nothing the negative Angel says
next week next Shabbat
should be like this next week and the
good Angel through his gritted teeth has
to say
amen I want to ask
you I don't know if any of you has ever
seen an
angel
anybody don't admit it we're going to
send you to a
hospital but I'd love to be able to see
angels and I'd love to be able to see
angels on Friday
night I'd love to see those angels come
home on Friday night from the hospital
with this person and walk into the hab
apartment and I'd love to see that bad
angel on his knees begging not to have
to say Amen to the unbelievable bar that
the good Angel says when he sees not
just the bed that's made and candles and
food in the fridge and every possible
thing that you could think of to be able
to take care of another Jew pure that
angel gives a not only to this home but
to our whole community and he says next
Shabbat our community should be able to
do this too it should be generous there
should be Extra Spaces it should be
supportive they're not going to let him
sleep in the hospital so he'll come home
to this and he'll feel the love of our
community and he'll go back to the
hospital and he'll hear his wife scream
I can see
and the doctors will say it wasn't us we
don't know how this happened but
we will
know ladies and gentlemen I wish you for
your
generosity I wish you for with
me today I wish you for everything that
you do in this and all that you do today
and all throughout the year for this
unbelievable unbelievable uh Act of that
they are doing I wish you that you never
need anyone of their
apartments and that this should be an
insurance policy that God forbid you get
to stay and sleep in your own bed and
your kids and your husband and your
parents and everyone that you love never
ever ever needs to Avail themselves of
the rooms that you help to build because
that also is the blessing of that
beautiful angel thank you so much for
listening