Habayit Event - Rabbi Shlomo Farhi Keynote Address

am Israel is very very special and sometimes when I come to events like this I'm actually blown away I'm blown to Pieces what was planted inside the heart and mind of all of am Israel not rabbis not great Torah Scholars not Sarah IM menu not Prophets the regular people like me and you to see the turnouts that you see at event after event after event is just it blows your mind it's so so special so first of all I want to start and a feeling that I'm feeling in my heart right now is I want to start by saying thank you Toad for allowing us to be part of this special people and this special community don't take for granted that everyone gets this cuz not everyone gets this and to be born a Jewish person to be born into this community is a gift from God and today when I look around and I don't even know how many people are here I am overwhelmed with emotion and with gratitude to Hashem for letting me be born into this people for letting me be born into this community it's remarkable and one of the things that sparked it is because right before I got up to speak you know a lot of times my mind is on what I'm saying what I want to say what I want to what I hope to communicate and sometimes people will come up and they'll throw a suggestion at you or ask a question and my mind is not there I'm thinking and someone ask you question I'm like I don't I'm not there but someone just mentioned to me that there's a y a day of prayer that was instituted all around the world for an injured Soldier whose name was Roy Haim benav and it was scheduled to be around 1:15 which was closer to where my time was scheduled to be but end of the day we're Syrian and you got to love all of being Syrian or leave it at the door how we say my father is Syrian halabi my mother is German Yi which means that I always come exactly two hours late um but all around the world Amel is praying together for this Soldier and what a beautiful thing to think about that before we begin with our scheduled remarks for today if I could ask everyone to stand up please and open up your phone to sh Psalm number 121 and we'll say it together of course all of the soldiers and all of the hostages they should be able to come back home the name of and is there anything that we want more for them to come back home to their B please rabai repeat after me or together with me 121 for amen thank you so much please find your seats today's class in honor of this incredible organization is dedicated in loving memory of Martin d by his family anonymously donated I'm going to have in mind the three names that they gave me quietly to myself and Le lunat Phil Shelby and Bish ladies what are we here to do today we're here to celebrate and to support an organization that provides exactly what it says on the tin it provides Hab it provides a home and I thought maybe it would be worthwhile to learn together today a little bit about the Jewish perspective on what is a home and in understanding that to maybe understand what it is that Hab provides for people in their greatest hour of need in their most vulnerable time I want to quote to you the words of the gimar the gar in Shabbat on page 118 says as follows used to say I never called my wife my wife I called my wife my home what a fascinating thing guy would come home he wouldn't say honey he would say home right unbelievable he would call his wife his home now it's I struggled the first time I read this to understand what it actually means but then I realized that there was a second part of the gimar that really shed light on what this is telling us because r uh RAB Yosi he didn't only have a funny name for his wife home he had another name a funny name for something else I don't know if any of you is an expert in the gimar and Shabbat but the gimar says he also would call he would call his ax his field Rashi explains what does it mean that he would call his wife his home and he would call his Ox his field rash says because she is the main stay of the home but what does that mean does it mean that a woman or what only thing she's good for is to be a homemaker that's what it means she's the main stay of the home she's the pillar of the home what does it mean and I think it is useful and constructive to understand what we learned about his ax to understand something about his wife for the comparison to compare you to his it's not what I mean what did the ox do for the field the ox took a piece of Earth and in plowing that piece of Earth what did it do it created something that could not have been created from it alone a house is a place that has a roof and a couch and a bed and even a refrigerator but a home is something completely and utterly different the ox was capable of making it and preparing it so that it could grow trees it could grow fruit it could grow tiua it could make unbelievable things until you can dig in the earth you can't build the foundation of home so what does it mean that she is the foundation the essence of the home could not be created without that woman without his wife so he called his wife not just wife because that's an insult to her she's not only the person he chose she's not only the person he's married to she's someone who magically is creating something that without her could never never exist ladies I want to talk to you this morning about the function and the power of a Jewish Home I think that often times we don't realize exactly what it is that we are giving in our homes you know the PUK says in that a mother she does something unique she gets up in the middle of the night moms get up in the middle of the night and what do they do they give they give food to the home and they give a lesson to those to their young now I don't know about you but when I grew up if I rocked up at midnight and I asked my mother to make me dinner I'm not going to say she hit me but I don't know if she's making dinner at all hours of the day or night for her child I don't know if that's is that a thing I remember one time being a yiva boy coming home I had a bunch of friends some of them are now rabbis in the community we got back it was very late we jumped in the pool okay we was so hungry we didn't know what to eat I open up the freezer I see a big piece of meat I was like fantastic meat equals Grill so by now it's 12:30 1 o'clock in the morning take this big piece of meat sticking on the grill it's going to be awesome all the boys eating meat off the grill middle of the night little did I know some of the moms are already nodding at my stupidity I did not know that brisket was not a thing that you throw on the grill also I did not know that you could not put a giant Frozen brisket directly on the grill I think we finished cooking it at like 4 a.m. at which point we realized that meat and ch gum have so much in common if you're a like me what does it mean you feed your kids every night in the middle of the night you know what the answer is I don't think it means that you give them dinner at all hours of the day or night I think it means that when a a child knows when a child learns that his mother has his back that his mother will be there for him no matter what no matter when no matter what he's going through no matter what he's like no matter what she's like that is the food that is the nourishment that children learn to be able to be self-supportive that they're able to take care of themselves make their own meals make their own decisions you know what gives that a child knows that if I need to if I needed my mom she'd be there I think in shim I hope my mom forgives me I think it's sham they're gonna one of the things they're going to call me out on I'm sure there's a long list but one of the things they're going to call me out on is do you remember all those times when you came back really late and your mom was waiting on the couch you know wanting to make sure you got home safe I hope she forgives me because if not I'm going to pay for that but I'll tell you something is there a greater gift that you could give your children than your children knowing that no matter what time and no matter how you come home you're there for them is no greater gift so you know what the effect of the home is is you know what the food of the home the nourishment of the home is that someone will always be there for you moms is this true your kid comes home and they didn't get a A+ how are you good some of you answered some of you were like well well there's always the other kids your kid came they made a mistake you give up on them you scream at them you put them down is that what parenting is the nature of a is the fact that something creates something that could not otherwise have been created and what is the secret ingredient to creating this magical new thing it is the supportive feeling of knowing that someone will always be there now I need to share this with you because I think that there's something here which is magnificent you know I'm a rabbi in the city that's why you only see me in the summer you see me until you get sick of me in the summer and then we say goodbye for another 10 months ladies but how many times of Shabbat do I get a panicked phone call my daughter my son my wife I'm going in I don't know where to stay where do I go where where could I be in the city they're telling me I need to come in they're telling me we need to stay over Shabbat where am I going to get food from who could deliver now people don't think we have kosher food in Manan by the way I love you Brooklyn people I love you you know we're also Jewish we even have in Uris or as the ashas people say ladies that panicked phone call has an answer and the answer is four letters long in Hebrew hey B you that's it that's all I have to tell them everything good in this world happens on a Tuesday did you know that you buy a house when are you supposed to buy it Tuesday I have a guy once told me listen Rabbi I don't know what to do uh you know I have to move into the house that otherwise we're going to lose the house but they can't close on Tuesday am I allowed to buy it on any other day I was like Ro come here let me give you a hug let me explain to you the difference between a law and a nice thing right how these things have become I always crack up how in our community there's this thing about the number the the number we can't say the number are you familiar with the number I just want to this is a pet peeve so can I just do this this is good for me for my own therapy can I do this is that right can I waste like a 60 seconds of your time I was s wants to give a class in the house next to 498 on the street next to the park I knew exactly what she was saying I was like okay I'll be at 496 on Central Park West they didn't want to say the number I don't know where this item came from it's not Jewish by the way we're like obsessed with this it's terrible luck I just want you to know I did a wedding this week and someone told me that they were married byom and I said you have a picture of the kba I want to see how they spell the name because I it's nice to have it spelled the same way there any different ways you could spell a name in Hebrew different opinions so I said send me the any one more the dome right then do you know the numbers that they put in the you know what number he used to write in the sorry 5518 how you doing I went to rabum I was like we need to tell the people that they need to relax look at he says you know before he wrote 5518 he used to write 5555 I went that was too much even for me is that amazing my friends mazal is beautiful but there's something more powerful than Maz and that is z the merits that we get from ourv the that we offer and I want to share with you a story that has nothing to do with Maz or ham or anything like that a story that explains the power of the mitvah that we're all doing today in supporting them I hope you spent a lot of money and if you didn't yal your husband's checking the bills anyway let him see more money for this okay there's a woman who is coming from a very long way away to get fertility treatments they've been married 12 years this is right in the beginning of in by its Inception it's very difficult for them because they got the phone call they get on the plane they don't know what they're going to do they're trying to figure things out they're try they made a phone call they're going to stay by someone there's a basement I don't even know where they found someone they're going to stay they're trying to everyone's hectic they call the guy to double check right before they get on the plane the guy says oh I didn't know that you were confirmed I thought you were just asking me I gave it away to somebody else they're getting on the plane they have nowh to go okay as they get on the plane they're flying across the ocean they're telling each other it's going to be good it's going to be good beem it's going to be good it's going to be good they land they make the Fone call the guy says listen I don't really have a place there's another basement you could stay if you want to go in maybe you could stay in the basement I hope I'm doing it justice I hope I'm telling it corly you could stay in the basement they don't know they get to the basement it's filthy the place is a mess they they feel like you know I know some my wife and I we know someone she never goes to a hotel without bringing her own sheets anyone else here oh see okay whatever right she's like whatever she doesn't want to right the place that they're sleeping in their clothes they're like this they don't even want to get undressed there like has they keep saying it's going to be good Hashem Hashem Hashem they call somebody someone that has a business relationship with someone that's involved over here in hav and they said is there any short-term Apartments could we rent someplace for a month for two months for three months it's very hard to find that and by the way in New York City they passed laws against Airbnb if Airbnb was available I by maybe would we wouldn't have such a need but they cancelled all Airbnb in the city it's very difficult trying to find they can't find the place to rent but this person says but did you try Hab the guy had not even heard of it they said oh this is the answer we have a perfect place it's beautiful they called the couple they say we have a beautiful apointment for you was the couple say we'll be the judge of that had that took a bath in purel he gets in the car right he gets there they can't believe it they're flipping out the place is beautiful the place is clean there's food in the pantry there's signs on the wall where the shoes are what time the prayers are there's game in the W everything is there they can't believe it it's amazing that couple after 12 years of waiting and 12 years of praying merited to have their baby and many of the staff actually went to be there to celebrate that miracle baby in their 13th year of trying someone who stayed in Hab beautiful but it gets a little weirder ready to get weird a woman comes from Canada unfortunately this happened last year she has a brain tumor there's nowh to stay what does everyone tell her by this time Hab fantastic let's go she goes and she stays in this apartment what's the problem it's so dangerous this tumor that they at this point have no option but to operate on it but they tell her if we operate on the tumor you're going to lose at least Vision in one eye you're going to lose your hearing you're going to maybe lose it's it's a disaster but it will save your life this young mother she decides what is option does she have she goes into this surgery after the surgery is over she wakes up and she starts screaming I can hear I can hear and the doctors flipping out there's impossible there's no way that this is going to happen the doctors are yelling it's not us this was not us I don't know how this is possible she says I can see and the doctor is saying he's admitting this is not us we didn't do this this is impossible how is this happening and the woman says you know I've been staying in this apartment they and they found out the people from the organization found out they got everyone saying t for us they got everyone in the community praying for us the doctors are flipping out to the point where everyone on the floor is running into the room to see this modern medical miracle unbelievable anyway a woman checks in to Hab it after she leaves same apartment and what does she have the exact same tumor now a woman from Mexico is here same Hospital same doctor same apartment she goes in and the doctor is telling her about all the things and she's getting very nervous no sight no hearing at this point they have no idea that the woman is connected to this organization still and the doctor says but I'll have you know we just had a woman in here who had the surgery and her s sight was fine and her hearing was fine and it wasn't us she got everyone in the community to pray for her maybe you should get everyone in the community to pray for you look at what is doing installing and instilling and in people's hearts the doctor was a go he was not Jewish he's advising in the preop leave scrub shower Psalms yeah anyway they do the surgery the woman wakes up she keeps her hearing she keeps almost all of her sight and the doctor's flipping out and the people in Hab by the way they're getting they're a little bit used to some of these beautiful Miracles but they're a little you know come on the doctor say there's no chance and it happens twice in a row how are these homes not only miraculous in what they give to the people but how are were they making Miracles and they came up with a solution they came up with a theory there's a great Rabbi ellot quoted before Rabbi Cohen and that was the apartment that he was staying in he' stayed in for a while already and they thought maybe it's the Z of the rabbi the mazal of the rabbi beautiful sigul Maz they called the rabbi and the rabbi said nah it's not me you know what what's making these miracles for people thees of the volunteers to clean and to pack that home the people that are donating the money with such love with such care and concern these homes are homes of Love they're homes of and in the of the people that are putting everything into it what's the outcome the outcome is that they're seeing yeshu in the hospital after staying in such a beautiful and warm embrace says the maharal you know what the definition of a b is of a home something that envelops you something that wraps you up something that makes you feel safe I never called my wife my wife says rosi I called it my house cuz when a house gives you what a wife what a mother could then that home can do miraculous things it can take children through traumatic experiences it could take five or 10 different kids and let each one find their way it can be a safe haven for people who have nowhere to go it could reins and reinvigorate people that is the power of that love and concern to be able to do the craziest things that you could never have imagined ladies I don't know the rabbi well but I want to share with you that I found this idea in the Z AL and I want you to hear this because when I read it I was shaking y'all ready for this I'm gonna read you the zor the zor is in therefore I'm just reading you the words in Hebrew so you know I'm not making any of this up you need to know this also for your other job yeah okay when someone is building a building when you start to build it to put it together you should mention with your mouth that I'm building this house I'm building this apartment I'm Furnishing this place to serve the says when a person is trying to build you got to build a home with righteousness could you build it without righteousness without kindness and when you build it that way the help of Heaven is present in that home when they got these apartments what did they do they furnish them for one purpose they didn't rent them out on the weekends when no one's there for everybody else to use they're not putting the money in their pocket this is only there waiting to do the greatest act of wrapped up into one beautiful Mitzvah and when you do a Mitzvah that way you build it that way that cakon can make caterpillars into butterflies it can give something wings God puts his in that place and he declares on that place Shalom I don't want to read you the end the second part of this talks about when a person builds their house with another intention when they build it for the ego when they build it to poke someone else's eyes out you know take down the bushes in the front I want everyone to see the house cut down the bush you know let's advertise when a person builds house for ego for Cav to create competition when a person builds a house and they want to have in mind to do things with the house that are not the best thing look at our community everyone in the community practic at some point in the summer has an event in their house they're inviting people in for a home invasion they're putting up tents they're trampling their grass unbelievable moving chairs tables you know what this lawn's going to look like tomorrow but I'll tell you one thing oh boy was it worth it kind of you have when you do something like this extraordinary it pays in dividends in Spades my friends so I don't want to read you the end because the end what he talks about when a person builds it that way and what it brings is not so nice and sometimes I think to myself that when a person feels in their home that only bad things are there only bad Ma it's not only Juju it's not only because once upon a time someone put a certain number on the door it's because the place was not infused with kadha this is why by the way the minute you move into a house what are you supposed to do you build you make a what is auk it's a declaration that this house is being built used for what for Torah for blessings when you do that you bring blessing to the home you bring protection to the home I once was doing auk a little bit right around the corner from here I finished theuk the father-in-law and mother-in-law of the guy were at theuk they're like oh we never knew this was a thing they never heard of it could we still do it we didn't just move in I said no problem brilliant I went to do BU it in their house we're sitting down they put out the thing I get the book so the day before by the son-in-law the next the day two days later by the father-in-law I sit down at the table I like oh when did you buy the place he says uh 42 years ago better late than never better late than never but better earlier than late and better before you even start than early the only purpose where we rented these apartments for Hab the only purpose was for Mitzvah and when you do that these homes have power ladies and gentlemen I told told you that you only do good things on a Tuesday why what does that mean it's double good what does that mean double double your refreshment ises that what what does that mean huh blessings what's the blessings what's two times good good who knows init when God sees every day he says and God saw he told it was good God saw it was good on Tuesday it says twice God said about this day kto twice it is called good twice my friends at the Apex of Hab they had 17 Apartments that's on their website 17 is the numerical value of 12 we now have 14 but we're getting that 12 back back we need an apartment next to Sloan Sloan is one of the top hospitals for cancer in the whole world and people come to our community from all of these countries to stay in that hospital they need an apartment nearby there are times when people are stuck in the hospital with someone that they love and I ask them Friday night come to me for dinner you know how far I live from Sloan Sloan is on 68th my house is on 72nd it's four blocks and you know what they tell me Rabbi it's too far it's too far what if something happens these people need a place right near the hospital it doesn't help them in slown so much over Shabbat if they have an apartment in Brooklyn let's go every woman here put something in the thing for that apartment next to Sloan next to NYU speak to your husbands tell them this is the most beautiful mvah in the world you're copying God himself who visits Abraham let's go these apartments do Miracles my friends I'd like to end I'd like to end with this the Shabbat on page 119 tells us something that many of you have heard before used to say there's two Heavenly Angels they accompany a person on Friday night some of you might know what this is sh [Music] welcome Angels ministering Angels who you saying hello to my kid he's an angel no there's two angels that come home with the husband from sh on Friday night and what happens one Angel is a good one and one Angel is a bad one when they come into the house and he sees a candle that's lit and a table that's set and the beds are made the good Angel says next week I bless you it should be exactly like this let the good times roll and the negative angel the bad Angel what happens he doesn't want to say Amen but he's forced to could you imagine him with his teeth gritted this Angel fine amen but if he finds the opposite says the gar everything is all over the place they're fighting and there's no candles and the table's not set and nothing nothing nothing the negative Angel says next week next Shabbat should be like this next week and the good Angel through his gritted teeth has to say amen I want to ask you I don't know if any of you has ever seen an angel anybody don't admit it we're going to send you to a hospital but I'd love to be able to see angels and I'd love to be able to see angels on Friday night I'd love to see those angels come home on Friday night from the hospital with this person and walk into the hab apartment and I'd love to see that bad angel on his knees begging not to have to say Amen to the unbelievable bar that the good Angel says when he sees not just the bed that's made and candles and food in the fridge and every possible thing that you could think of to be able to take care of another Jew pure that angel gives a not only to this home but to our whole community and he says next Shabbat our community should be able to do this too it should be generous there should be Extra Spaces it should be supportive they're not going to let him sleep in the hospital so he'll come home to this and he'll feel the love of our community and he'll go back to the hospital and he'll hear his wife scream I can see and the doctors will say it wasn't us we don't know how this happened but we will know ladies and gentlemen I wish you for your generosity I wish you for with me today I wish you for everything that you do in this and all that you do today and all throughout the year for this unbelievable unbelievable uh Act of that they are doing I wish you that you never need anyone of their apartments and that this should be an insurance policy that God forbid you get to stay and sleep in your own bed and your kids and your husband and your parents and everyone that you love never ever ever needs to Avail themselves of the rooms that you help to build because that also is the blessing of that beautiful angel thank you so much for listening