Parshat Ki Teitzei: Choosing the Ideal Life Partner - Rabbi Yaakov Asher Sinclair

what's the most important thing to look for when choosing a spouse well there's a sound piece of advice to be gleaned from this week's Torah portion it says an ammonite or a Moabite may not enter the congregation of God even the tenth generation may not enter into the congregation of Hashem to eternity because they did not come out to meet you with bread and water on the way when you left Egypt what's so terrible about this just because they didn't rush out to greet the Jewish people with cheese danishes and coffee they can never become Jews never become Jewish even an Egyptian whose forefathers used Jewish children as bricks in their palaces and tombs may convert and after three generations marry a Jew just because of a lack of hospitality Amman and more can never join the Jewish people let's take a look at the history of these two nations I'm Anna more of oh they're very existence to Abram Avenal Abraham the father of the Jewish people Avraham are saved Lots the father of Amon Amarth when he pulled him out of Saddam before it was destroyed we're not for Abraham there would be no Amon Amarth and so by not coming out to greet the Jewish people they showed a character flaw lack of gratitude okay but why should lack of gratitude be something so specifically bad that stops them becoming Jewish for all time the Hebrew word yahoodi meaning Jew comes from the same root as the word la Haddad to give thanks to be grateful gratitude is the essence of being Jewish and that's not just because the world's our nicer place when people are grateful gratitude is the root of the belief in God when we sensitize ourselves to being grateful to seeing life as one big gift then we'll want to find the giver of that gift if we don't feel gratitude then we'll just see life as something random without cause without purpose it's not that atheism leads to ingratitude ingratitude leads to atheism the prophet Isaiah Isaiah wrote you are my witnesses such a shame you've the Jewish people the job of the Jewish people in this world is to witness to the existence of God and we can only fulfill that awesome task if we live up to our names to be yoohoo dim to be thank us so what emerges from this is a sound piece of advice when selecting a marriage path for if chronic ingratitude makes a person unfit to marry then conversely the greatest virtue in a spouse is someone who's always grateful someone like that is the easiest person in the world to make happy and that's a real catch [Music] you [Applause]