57: The Year You Want

[Music] hi this is Deborah Orlowski welcome to the last rabbi Olaf ski share of the year literally this is this is it it's my Amish Arab Rosh Hashana that's when this is coming out some Amish a rosh hashanah one more day you know i it's come across already in the show that how should I put it I'm a work in progress and there are certain things that just pull me away pull me away hmm soft spots in my heart that are left over from my misspent youth one of them is obviously superheroes and I used to study the genre when I was younger and what can I tell you I haven't reached the level of Sheinberg yeah in a lot of ways but there's one where a giant brick this was during the 1980s when there were those playoffs between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees and the guys were listening to it on the street some radio somehow you know and when suddenly they give up a cheer Sheinberg says what's that so he says Yankees just won the pennant every time I give the Yankees when I feel good inside now he was he was chosen by the minor leagues to go off and play they had a tremendous career as a pitcher was lefty Sheinberg yeah in fact I met someone from service remember he was kind of ironic when you think about it but anyway so he always felt good yeah when he heard when I heard that the Yankees won I and one day I heard I heard this years later and he made a kiddush he says he heard the Yankees won and they didn't care I never made such a kiddush yeah when somebody mentions to me Superman or Batman all of these what can I tell you touches me enough hey my my spent youth you waste your time doing things there's a major mechanic he told it to me I never heard him say it publicly I don't know if he wants it not you know but he says that his Rebbetzin welcome up in the middle of night because he was reciting the presidents by heart which may sound interesting to you but I could recite who lost in every presidential election [Laughter] so do think about misspent youth yeah so what can I tell you when you know what you have to say in order to charge ruin Lantern's ring by heart you know that you really when other children were growing up memorizing mesh nice girl ski that's that what they added and they were they had in mind for me but so that's one of it the other area that I know he said a weak spot was Broadway music I was in a camp production of Oliver I played Fagin typecasting because he was a Jew I mean I was obviously a wonderful actor I played Alfred Doolittle in the classroom presentation of Pygmalion you know what you just get up and you read the play but me and the guy who played Henry Higgins we actually memorized that role and acted it out because we clearly had too much time on our hands right that's that was pretty obvious but I had to go to summer school to finish up one English credit I I was the stage director in our town also brilliant critically acclaimed mr. risk of public school cliff and Merrick Long Island but when we did Julius Caesar I was given all the smaller roles and that worked out fine until I had to do the entire crowd scene myself this was really a tour de force and so I got that same role in Macbeth which was not too bad until I came to the scene where I had to murder myself so I played both roles that was that really taxed me but of course the musicals was really where my heart was and so one of the famous mystical musicals lay miserab based on the classic work by Victor Hugo which I actually read many people have read it yet but there's this dramatic song that they have and all the events are coming together many things one more day whenever I would hear that song it reminded me of the slicker that we really saw an Arab Yom Kippur mehar yeah he says yeah but there's also a whole you hear at Sonja saying the sleeveless of Everest under the longest leaders of the year and this is it there's one day left one more day yeah it's a it's the words themselves I I wanted to make a version of it to tell you the truth for the podcast but I just think have the time for it yeah one more day but the words itself have a certain power one more day another day until my destiny till I see what God has in store for me the angels who know my crime will surely come another time come what may will I live or will I die the book of life for the departed tomorrow we will be in Sheol with a contrite heart and broken hearted one more day as far as I go but the ending tomorrow is not far away tomorrow is the judgement day tomorrow we will know what God in heaven has in store one more dawn one more day one day more available I'm I do when you listen to the podcast you can get this tip anyway but but I there's something about that this is it the year is over and we have to look at a year as a lifetime yeah Shauna is is a complete unit and you move on from there so whatever was is over this is a brand new year who will live and who will die it's a strange thing you know you know you don't nobody likes to focus on this it's too heavy for us it's too heavy for us it's too every for us to appreciate that we have consequences then what we do is important in this world and that of course brings me to our sponsorship for this week to yurt sites yeah two days apart three may have been review Hooda and you saw a dove been motor hi yosef echoing the mission is should have an alia discourse of the fact that we're bringing the story to so many people and is a refuge flamer for a very special individual who like I here is on the road to recovery Thomas ever before leymah yo sure David Ben alte Yenta and you know all the all the hilum to get healthy and and and everybody should have an unbelievable year but we're mama chat the AL has suffered going in but going in moments the Beulah nosy says yes Mishima cowboy Lamar babish our Akash office isn't one hour it's a moment yet Olam haba in a moment potential it was a short story I read when I was in junior high school I forgot the name of it it's a famous one I'm not sure I'm sure all of my my fact checkers out there will remind me of the name but basically this guy is being hanged and as he falls his the rope snaps and everyone's in confusion and he runs off and they chase after him and he's running here and he's going here all his adventures and then he jumps into the river and he suddenly feels himself drowning and it turns out that the rope was tightened around his neck all of that is what he imagined and a few moments before he died that a few moans moment what we can do we could do the the the power to affect this world is not only an my sim and not only in the Boreham not only in actions and words also in my shovel the Shh mr. Toomy the ice six constant mitzvahs are basically things you think about when you go into Rosh Hashanah and you don't really think about this how many misses do you do every time you think about it coach burrow that's a mitzvah you're an overcomer you love a coach merical you would sit through these are things that you you just have to think about it you'll never realize how many times you do that and those myths for stack up and stack up and stack up and stack up a moment it only takes a moment hello Dalek but the the ability to be able to affect things one day left yeah tomorrow is the judgement day one more dawn one more day one day more so I want to give you a thought for every sauna I think is is an important idea and that's the following one of the features is that we're gonna do head terraces art and in some places they also remove the clothes people get up and they say if need or a claw curse was put on me by should maíam it should be my foot though and Edwin says mood to loss but solo head when everyone helps you we know it but we said the little bass didn't we set up three little judges let me take turns and you stand up and you say I want to remove any of minded arm and people are so loose when it comes to these things I was speaking about this once in a class and someone said to me it's not true I'm very careful I said listen everybody does this he says I swear to you I don't do it you know many times do you hear that Oh starving happening today sure you did I swear you heard anything today he says you had you had a roll with a coffee for breakfast oh yeah people don't realize it I was a camp counselor when I was in Los Angeles and the hillo day camp I had the oldest kids five six year olds and we were going to Disneyland which is of course appropriate with five six year olds and the kids are talking one kid says I've been to Disneyland I think a hundred times the other kid says I'd been there two hundred times and the third kid says I've been there a million times he looks at the kids and it goes I've been there almost a million times so there was a kid there he was like a Poindexter you know there's kind of kids with the with the glasses and the hair parted in the middle you know what I mean reading Socrates you know I mean I was like one of these he looks over and he says to this kid even if you went to Disneyland every day of your life and when you were born you couldn't have gone a million times the kid says I said almost a million okay almost enough that's a good trick cuz you know you meet these little kids say how old are you eight nothing eight I'm almost a before yeah but I'm almost a almost so people people make the dharam they even even if you say the gemara says you know what's this you uh you say yeah yeah yes yes no no no no no no no yeah yeah really yeah that's another - what people do and huh gustavus without saying billion other they're not doing anything bad they're doing good things but you do a good thing three times and it becomes like a nether and we're not even conscious of it we're not even conscious we're not aware of what we do and not aware of what we say people talk and talk remember Tom Lehrer once said for the oath you aren't familiar he was a professor of mathematics in Harvard who's best known for the fact that he wrote funny songs I think that says a lot about our entire society anyway one of those reductions to a song as he says you know so much of contemporary film and literature's is focusing on people can't communicate parents who can't communicate with their children husbands who can't communicate with their wives and I feel like if you can't communicate the least you could do is shut up we talk and we talk so many words no whoever used to say you ask somebody a question and they right away start answering they haven't even worked out what their answer is yet and they working it out as they're talking I learnt this because I used to help people so people would ask me a question that was clearly nonsensical and I would help them turn into a real question and then they would turn around and attack me with it so I found the most effective way when being challenged I'm not talking about when you're teaching kids who are trying to figure out how to phrase their question sometimes you're being attacked the most effective thing is to say what do you mean what do you mean and nine out of ten times they don't know what they mean then I'm sure what the question is okay rabbi what about animal sacrifices I said what about it no he hadn't thought it past that he just knew that whenever he says that to a rapper they always go yeah so what about it you're killing animals are you a vegetarian no how do you think they get the meat they don't go over and say hey Elsie could you spare a rib well I'm not there when it happens I said no problem you can appoint a hit going to take the animal out for you you don't have to do it but it's barbaric it's barbaric why because barbarians do it but berries eat lunch do you eat lunch not everything that barbarians do by definition is barbaric yeah and suddenly he was stuck you know what his question was he just know that he would say it and I once said somebody say to me a per-person you a raisin exist what about prayer I said okay what about mean why do we have to pray because God already knows what we need why do we pray in a set form what are we praying Hebrew why we know he hadn't gone that far hadn't worked it out yeah people talk and they talk and they don't know what they're saying like a poem poorly written yeah people just took and we get lost in all the words I saw somebody once and I break and I see him sitting going like this we just you know it was sitting waiting for a buzz for everything good so I said oh whoa what are you thinking about my turns man he said I saw these two big comedy I hung him in the basement and one of them would ask a question and they would just stop and think of it they were just think about it he says they were sitting there for 20 minutes before either one of them said a word thank you we're too busy talking and that's why when people used to have to write a letter you took a quill lady at a pen with a with a sharp point you dipped it in an inkwell you wrote you had to wait for the ink to dry you know you could put a little sand on air to applied it or do something to the ink dried and that's he wrote a letter then I remember they had typewriters you retype it you make a mistake you put on weight oh that was it then they came up with word processes and then they came up with email and they came up with texting and people don't have time to write out even write out the words right gr and the number 8 that's great yeah where are you are and you K you're gonna have enough time to write okay this right K okay it's uh okay itself is just an abbreviation cuz Matt Martin Van Buren who was president after Andrew Jackson was known as old Kennebunkport and so he that was his nickname and I know what's been made fun of as a kid but anyway so he used to sign his letters okay for old Kennebunkport yeah so now that's all really tooling for us week nephew right old Kennebunkport no time you get you get these messages they're like a hostage note you know hey every now and then people has people make a video and I wait till we film here and I have the full accouterments in fact two couples came to visit me yesterday they wanted to come for the show but they weren't here for the show you know and they both just wanted to take their picture in front of the bookcase this has become a tourist attraction people are coming from around the world have their picture taken in front of this bookcase anyway which is kind of sad because it's made out of pasteboard and it's slowly I feel it's a little bit like the rocket Gibraltar is gonna pull over but the people people so people advanced me to make a video so as I have to wait on filming they said no you can do it on your phone I said whatever you Miguel's videos on the phone it looks like a hostage video help me I'm being held captive please money uh people don't have time enough time that's why you know the texting I don't know how they do it okay I you know you have to text a message so I write I will be available at 3:00 and I send it off and three seconds later I get a two page text how is that even possible okay I don't know they do it now that takes too long I've wanted to send voice messages I know I don't know it's time to tell you mm-hmm it just took and I'm thinking to myself if you're going back and forth with voice messages why don't just call each other knows damn well I guess it won't be kept for posterity I don't know but people only time time time time yeah because our words I've become so cheap we just through other math throw them out nobody stops to think I don't have time to think I'm busy talking I'll work out what I'm trying to say afterwards so we do I stood arm now obviously you want to go into Rosh Hashanah having removed as many you know problems as possible but let me say something I need a brush my son likes to say that's a douche yeah so I want to say something a day Josh what's a nether and nether is an artificial restriction that I've put upon myself I'm never gonna eat cherries person says that and there's now a new Easter in the Torah called thou shalt not eat cherries and if he does it with a demon hofstra he gets monkeys eating cherries I remember I gave this example once in class I said the person says I promise I'm not gonna eat cherries so one another girl says me a rabbi now you can't eat cherries I said it doesn't count unless you have some kevanna if you say something with no qivana it doesn't have any impact I searched through to find where you could say something where you don't mean it at all it has impact that only found one and that is mr. mix of pixel X who is Superman's enemy from the fifth dimension the only we can send them back cuz they get him to say his name backwards not an easy feat even for Superman and even if you trick him into saying it once he says it disappears that's the only example I found and it's that real I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry Virginia there's no Santa Claus okay even though it makes a pixel eggs here but you have to have some come on so we say things and we create artificial restrictions on ourselves I'm never going there I'm never talking to that person I've never did you think of the consequences did you take them into account the missiles Hashem says how does true vork you did the thing so he says it works like a neder because if you're mr. eight from the nether Hirata gomorrah may ikura i wish i had never said it i get angry at Bob and I say that's it I'm never walking into Bob's house again week later my son comes to me and says Tata yeah Kim smear Mazel Tov I'm a Carson oh that's wonderful who's the girl Bob's daughter uh-huh there's little time tonight Bob's house mm-hmm I know some people wouldn't go anyway it goes to the Robinsons and then I've got a problem you say things you don't realize it I remember what I've told you no I speak to certain people and it's like they've committed to memory well he's but if I don't I don't know what I'm saying yet I may have told the story already but I have a nephew who was learning in Terris monisha and he says I had one of those annoying hum erasers you know like and unlike below me he gets up at like 6 o'clock in the morning he's the first one and goes to the barber you know he gets his hair cut you know so he comes in the first day here and he says you think your haircut you guys know I'm an Aussie yes uh-oh what you better go speak to the receiver this is why he even says mines when he goes I don't my friend thinks I should speak to you this is why I guess I just said I'm an Aussie uh-huh ok what's the problem oh I'll get back to you on this in the meantime don't eat any grapes don't eat any raisins don't cut your hair how many graves ears are wide you know your worries are consequences and we don't realize it and we create restrictions for ourselves we go and we have corrupted more than ikura it doesn't change the fact that I said it but I changed it into like I said I'm never gonna cherries again I said the words but the words are now bereft of any meaning and feeling since miss Ilsa Sharaman that's how jouvert works if you can go back and look and have real regret I'm so sorry I did that I really feel it I mentioned this the the last time we were talking about her right that it it's hard for people hard for people I was speaking once in a seminarian these girls were saying you know but I am the conclusion of the things that I've done and decisions I've made so I've really grown because of it and I'm a better person for it this one nice girl one of those a tomato sentence you know I said okay is it follow with me okay let's go down the rabbit hole okay mr. Mitzvah shouldn't get married she goes miss him right get married wonderful nice guy Oh wonderful guy been to bed already you married for a bunch of years and then he confesses to you that he was disloyal to you and that he cheated on you and you are so hurt and the to go for therapy and you work it out and and now you can trust him again it was a lapse and they sorry you know I don't never you can be sure it'll ever happen again and then you make the mistake and you say honey when you think about what you did what's your feeling and he says look I feel so terrible that I hurt you I can't say that I didn't have a good time I mean I was they had a good time you know but that's not the point the point is that I feel bad that I hurt you I said what would you do and this a tomato goes I would kill him Stan that's what it is when I look back at things that I've done and I don't regret it it's only because I don't really think it was a big deal what's the big deal because we don't think it's a big deal we don't regret it so okay we might work on changing behavior which is very important but I don't want to confront that perhaps I've made some mistakes and if we confronted them we made mistakes okay different world we're afraid to yeah so a girl says to me she says listen I'm a ballast Chula and my friend about Y Rubinstein is putting together a program now for mainstreamed Bally Chula say because people who come from the from community does not realize how much these people are missing in a sense of support there was a letter once the Jewish observer where a person says you don't understand we don't have a bubbie and Zayde by Shabbos coats for the children we don't we don't have anything we're completely on our own very hard so he's putting together a program to to be able to offer support but as far as Jimmy said smeet goes okay you're right you're right I really want to try to regret what I did when I was younger so what can I do I said get rid of the pictures you know pictures of yourself when you were younger dressed in a way that you would perhaps not be happy with today doing things that you wouldn't be happy with today we're not holding on to them for I had a fellow who was engaged then he broke off the engagement and he dated another girl he had trouble moving on I said give me the letters and the pictures he says what letters and pictures I said the pictures of the two of you together and the letters that she wrote you give them to me and so first he went with plausible deniability and then he says I don't know if I can I said and I will not destroy them I will keep them in an envelope in my shelf they're still there to this day yeah he's married she's married everybody's happy but didn't tell me get rid of at least at least get rid of the pictures at least at least don't hold on to the things that remind you we have that you know that little smile oh yeah yeah [Laughter] that's at some level we got it we got to look at it so at ours in the dark I think helps to free us from the self-imposed restrictions that we created for ourselves so a sign once that said argue your limitations and they're yours I would have kids who wanted to come back for an event they said my parents said no I said okay says no I really want to come back so I said listen closely if you really believe you're gonna come back you'll come back but if you tell me I'm not gonna come back you're for sure not gonna come back and every now another kid would say I'm sure I'm not gonna come back I said then don't fight what's the point you already know the outcome you know the conclusion we make the dardan we limit ourselves I'm not gonna do that I'm not gonna go here I'm never going to that locks us in we do address that there and we say I'm open to all possibilities tomorrow is the judgement day tomorrow isn't far away tomorrow we will see what God in heaven has in store one more dawn one more day one day more don't limit yourself dream your dreams cause broken can do anything you can make this year be whatever year you want em it's a sham for all of us and for all class oh we should all be safer to achieve our cosima Tyva a good get benched er thank you for watching thank you for listening if you want to find out more about the show you can go to River laughs keep calm comments find out about my upcoming schedule I'm planning a trip in the fall so think about that yeah you want to contact me and if you want to sponsor an episode you go to reverie laughs keep that calm slash podcast and click on the sponsor an episode button for the last time this year I am ready Laos key and this is there every illowsky show [Music]