#30: Iggeres HaRamban (10 Minutes of Meaning)

good morning welcome back to 10 minutes of meeting generously spons by father her mother RKA we're very grateful to the sh please help yourself a cup of coffee a pastry orlushy as always come and enjoy as we feed your body and nourish your soul has been writing a letter to his son a letter to each and every one of us a letter that if we read it learn it and live it we will be a better and better version of ourselves the ran has been telling us how to not conquer or manage or eliminate anger but how to avoid anger altogether a person who speaks Bas always and to everyone we always speak and we'll never find ourselves Rising with a sense of anger and inl and place of anger in our heart in that space instead of anger will be filled with humility and with humility is awe and fear and acknowledgement of Hashem and a person who wakes up in the morning and who lives life and is calm and Serene and tranquil who doesn't get angry doesn't raise his voice a person who always liveso speaks gently and sweetly and calmly to all a person who lives with awe and sees the beauty of the universe and see hashem's guiding hand everywhere such a person will live in allog together different life we last left off always be reading Torah person can never take for granted that will be centered and calibrated we need our Compass always directing us our Compass of life is Torah tor is the navigation tool for life every day is complicated every day we'll face a dilemma every day we have to interpret the events around us and the way we do the filter through which we see and experience the world is Torah and every time we engage Torah when you stand up we mentioned last time the raan is telling us every single time we learn whether it's 10 minutes of meaning whether it's MRA whether it's the da whether it's whether it's a year every student in every school every rebi should end every period And every she with new how are we changed by what we learned how are we different than the way we came in what's different about us what's different about our understanding and our relationship with Hashem we as Jews as y we don't just absorb information and data we're not just memorizing facts we're not just covering ground we're not just covering material we don't just put a check next to today's da but says the ran every time safer when you close that safer and get up you first ask how am I changed how am I different what do I believe what do I do differently how am I different how am I different and now writes the to his son every single day evaluate reflect introspect every morning and every night say wow what level of Consciousness mindfulness what level of presence is that every day every morning and every night how could you do anything how will you get anywhere the answer is how could you do or get anywhere without doing that a person could just live life grip and rip and a person could just live life and never stop and look in the mirror person could just live life and never ask what's going right what's going wrong and you'll end up looking back on your life and you'll say with regret all the mistakes all the things I could have done differently all the things I could have been but if a person lives every day WR to his son when you wake up ask what one WR what went wrong yesterday what are my goals for today at the end of the day what went right what went wrong how can I improve on it tomorrow every day every day this is a a lesson for for life to be a Jew but the great people in life the great people in business the most accomplished people we know that's how they live they're constantly evaluating reflecting asking themselves how can they be better they're not looking to blame others they're looking to take responsibility stepen cvy in seven habits rights responsibility is response ability the ability to respond how can I respond to my circumstances to my environment to everything around me and that way a person will spend all their days and all their lifea means returning restoring rebooting becoming who they're meant to be coming back to the trajectory the path that they're supposed to be on so we could live life and just do our best and never think about it but then we'll never improve we'll never accomplish we'll never achieve we're asking what can I do better and differently everyone knows I love to quote Peter Ducker the management Guru who said what gets measured gets managed what gets measured and recorded gets managed if you have Chad if you have things you want to accomplish in life you want to sleep more you want to eat better you want to exercise you want to learn and cover certain material you want to track whether you gave got angry you want to track how many days you can go without complaining whatever it is a person wants to track wants to improve you know if you just say I'm never raising my voice again I'm never complaining again I'm never speaking lanar again never coming late to SCH again and you just say it but you don't actually measure it you don't evaluate it you don't track it you don't see what went right what went wrong I mentioned I started a spreadsheet four or five months ago with columns for all the things that for years I've been prom promising myself I'm going to do for years and I never did and then when you have a spreadsheet I don't know if you're a little bit of a competitive person you don't want to knock put a check next to do certain amount of push-ups every day you don't want to not put a check next to tracking how much sleep you got if you claim you want to sleep more so track are you why not and when did it go well and when did it not go well to fish understand and look did I bought the w i was learning did I cover the ground did I accomplish what I said I was going to was I on time was I late did I talk during davening it's not enough once a week or once a month or once a quarter or annually once a year but B every day wake up with goals for the day and every day go to sleep thinking about what went right what went wrong what you could do better tomorrow nobody's life will be worse because they did that nobody ever leted a less a worse life because they did that you guaranteed your life will be better relationships will be better your self-esteem will be better your accomplishments will be more Chua and you'll be in a growth mindset your whole life not a fixed mindset not finished not complete not done says all your days will be filled with ch because as the says nobody's perfect nobody is perfect nobody's conquered whatever it is that they're trying to overcome we don't conquer it we manage it so how do you know if you're managing it well if you don't track it whatever is our Yara whatever is your issue it's never conquered the moment you think it's conquered is the moment that you are vulnerable to giving into it again so whatever is your cryptonite eating wrong whatever addiction looking at the wrong thing saying the wrong things being lazy so you know sometimes we get into these zones where we feel I conquered it now I'm good now that's poison I would never eat that again oh sleep oh every day ex I'd never do that again until all of a sudden we drop out we fall off the wagon so how do you know how do you know if you don't if you don't track it nobody is perfect nobody's perfect so what are we going to do wait till the end of our lives in order to try to improve in order to try to be better it's too late the BR says a person should do CH one day before you die so they asked the asked him you know you don't get a date on the calendar you're not given the expiration date of when you're going to expire so that you know that a day before make good improve you know up loose ends and uh and do all the have the conversations you're supposed nobody tells you when you're going to die LMI live every day like you're dying live every day like I think there's a country song like that if not there should be one but live every day live every day like you're dying if every day you thought what were the what were the conversations you want to make sure you have what were the things that you want to get done what was the Legacy you want to leave what's the life you want to live live every day like it's your last so a person who call every day you're not waiting when I retire when my kids grow up when the I can change jobs when the rabbi will finally don't wait is writing to a son saying your life will be so much better if and every single day every morning you wake up and every night you go to sleep measure what gets measured and recorded gets managed and if you don't and you're just trying to Fly by Night and figure it out and Bluff yourself you're only bluffing yourself nobody else is buying what you're selling but if you really want to improve and grow you really want to change you really want to transform then is telling his son to and now he finishes up we have one and a half more paragraphs to the whole letter to the whole saer the last message he leaves will pick up with this next time to his son how do you focus during if you're already making the time you're already saying the words you're already spending the time how could you be fully present you're making time with your spouse you're getting together for coffee with your friend you're taking your grandchildren to the park so you might as well be present what are you going to be on the phone absent present you GNA be scrolling or talking so if you're making time to talk to Hashem how can we be present while we're doing it it's so important and It Centers and grounds and calibrates our day we'll pick up with it next time