24,000 Died… How Is This Justice? — The Kabbalah Secret No One Talks About (Lag BaOmer) R' Botton

To take the 24,000 of the greatest Torah sages that they should die a horrific death in in in in a matter of weeks. It's hard. It's hard. It almost has no answer. It's I I I think it's unbearable. So, the real secret of Lag BaOmer is that the first 32 days from the second day of Passover until the 30 uh second day of the Omer are days of judgment. Days of harsher judgment than the norm. We have to be aware of this. And that's that's that's why we have to be careful. Days of strict judgment, it just becomes more dangerous spiritually. For example, people try to avoid things that are dangerous, you know, during these times. It's important. Uh but on the 33rd day of the Omer, there's a shift from days of judgment and strictness. They become sweetened with mercy. And they become sweeter, softer, more merciful days from the 33rd onward. And we could begin to appreciate and we're going to get to really the heart of the story right now. Initially, when we came out of Egypt, we counted the Omer. And this spiritual concept is forever. So, so forever the first 32 days of the Omer were more strict in judgment and harsher days spiritually. And the 33rd onward were always sweeter and more more imbued with mercy. Um but the days of Lag BaOmer were not connected to mourning until around the common era when the students of Rabbi Akiva finally die. And so, when the potential of strict judgment is manifest in the plague of 24,000 great great students dying in this short period between between uh the second day of Pesach and the 30s the 32nd day of the Omer, so now the potential strict judgment and strictness of these days become manifest and become a real part of our Jewish life and practice. Now, we have customs of mourning. We don't get haircuts, we don't celebrate, we don't get married, we don't listen to music. These are all because of the great tragedy that happened during these days when the when the strictness finally was manifest. So, it's it's such a puzzling story. It's so hard to digest. I don't know why more people don't scream and go crazy about the story and say, "How could it be? I can't accept it." Like the Holocaust. And again, the numbers obviously but but ultimately the numbers are not what it's all about, but the numbers of the Holocaust are just horrific and and I you can't judge anyone that walked away from the Holocaust broken and maybe without faith because you can't just it was such a hard thing to go through and we talk about it today like, "Oh yeah, simple." But nothing's simple. But I think almost on the same level at least in tragedy to take the 24,000 of the greatest Torah sages that they should die horrific death in in in in a matter of weeks. It's a it's it's it's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It had it almost [laughter] has no answer. And that's why we're we really stuck. The The thinking mind, the sensible logical mind is just can't go I can't look I don't see I don't see how you can go forward. How can we just accept that the 24,000 of the best Jews alive in that generation die in this plague? And then we're taught, "But it's from God and everything was from God and everything has a reason." It's It's I I think it's unbearable. We are stuck behind the eight ball right now and you can't really change what happened. But But I want to try to present a deep deep approach that I believe doesn't solve our problems. It's an unsolvable problem. But it will enlighten us to where I think we'll we'll all be able to handle it and accept it better from today on. Here's what I want to share with you. If you look at the passage in the Talmud that talks about the whole idea of Rabbi Akiva's students dying, so they don't say, as I said already a few times, that 24,000 students of Rabbi Akiva died. That's the reality. Rabbi Akiva was the rabbi, and he had 24,000 students. But that's not how the Gemara phrases the tragedy. The Gemara says that 12,000 pairs of students died. Zugot. Zug. Yes. Learning partners. Two two two 12,000 learning partners, but the literal word in the Gemara is zug, zugot. Uh pairs. And that's the same word we use for marriage. Zugiyot in Hebrew is is like marriage. It's marriage, and and a a benzug a batzug are a couple, a husband and wife. So, the this this has to really grab you when you're learning. The sages are very specific in what they say and how they say it. Why do we define especially a a life? Why would I Why would I define these lives in 12,000 pairs? What is so essential that if I want to define the loss of life, why not just say the 24,000 people? Each person is his own world, and he's he his value is a full value. What are we doing, machatzit hashekel over here? What Why am I Why am I Why am I counting half people? We're not counting machatzit hashekel. We're talking about a person that died. Give him the honor he deserves. A full person died, not a half a person. Or maybe we're missing something, or maybe we're onto something. So, when the sages say 12,000 pairs of students died, let's let's let's open this up. Let's unpack this a little bit. Cuz this is where the chiddush lies. This This is This is where the real secret lies. And let's appreciate. Um husband and wife are called one flesh in the Torah. They're two separate people that make a soul connection. And there's different explanations as to what the what the one flesh that they accomplish one one interpretation is the children. One interpretation is the the fusion of the of the mindset of the both husband and wife into creating one one combined view of life and and it's all like like a one brain. They they fuse into this one type of intellectual and emotional makeup which governs their home and all of the activities of their home. So they unite through the activities of their home in their children. And but but in the deepest deepest sense of what it means that they are one flesh is because they are one soul. They're one soul and therefore they become they can become this level of one flesh or every one I explained it. In that the the the sages and teach us that really that there was a soul that was split into two parts. And the male and female that come and meet and get married are putting those two parts of a soul back into one. And it's similar to to creation in the sense that you know that there was oneness and then God made multiplicity and then it's ultimately to come back to the oneness. And this is what we're seeing here with the secret of souls in a zug in a couple. They were once one, they were separated and they and then after getting married they come back to being one. And this is a unique type of oneness. It's not oh they're a cute couple. It's it's a spiritual wowness that manifests on on a physical level, on an intellectual level, on an emotional level. It's it's a true oneness. And the only way to appreciate this is to go back to the secret of the letter aleph. And there's a beautiful lesson. We've given it before and you can look it up. The small aleph of the word Vayikra in the beginning of the third book is where the real secret lies. We're going to get all of our answers from that that that small aleph. But before I go there, I want to quote the actual source in the sages, one of the sources that that helps us because the Gemara once I guess protected the honor of these 24,000 students, leaving the big question, almost making it look unfair. It says that they did not honor and respect each other accordingly. Now, that sounds crazy because you're going to tell me for not being on your best behavior, 24,000 of these great men should die? They didn't They didn't act Lo Na'agu Kavod Ze La'zeh. They didn't give their learning partner the right amount of honor, the proper honor and respect due to him. So, you're going to You're going to kill 24,000 people for that? It's just insane. So, we're going to help this out a little bit, but still it's one of the We We can't erase these big questions. These are huge questions. Like the Holocaust is a huge question. How could How could it happen? But there's another language in the sages which is a much more stern. They're less protecting of the honor of the students, rather revealing more what the problem was. And the problem with according to this other teaching is that ultimately they had they they hated each other. They had a hatred inside towards each other, like can't bear, and they they were competing and trying to beat in a very negative way, a selfish way. So, there was a problem of hate and selfishness between the the two pairs of students, between each pair. And that's a much deeper problem than just not not honoring each other properly. For not respecting each other properly, it's extreme. It is a little less extreme. Meaning Meaning there was a real character flaw, a deep character flaw in and great people on their level, of course, that there was a hate and competition to to beat a selfish motivations to to to and and there was really a unfortunate level of separation. It's in in in in the Kabbalistic terminology, it's perud. It's it's division. It's multiplicity. In a place where a student two students are supposed to unite similar to the way a man and a woman unite and Adam knew Hava. So, that knowledge of Adam knowing Eve was a intellectual and emotional and a physical union. Here we're speaking about an intellectual and emotional union, of course, not the physical. Today I have to clarify these things. In in in in the minds of two worlds, two minds meeting and and and uniting as one, completing each other's learning, helping each other, giving of each other. But, because their relationship was hate and selfishness, so it was it led to separation. Now, what happens when a husband and wife don't have love, but instead have have negativity and have separation? So, they have to get divorced and they have to tear them apart and they go their separate ways. So, that's the that was the lack of these pairs of students. So, now it's getting a little bit deeper and a little bit more we're making more sense out of it. So, let's go back to our aleph. The aleph is the opposite. And it's important to understand when God gave the Torah and God spoke to Moshe, God says, "Listen, I'm speaking to you. I'm God and I have a Torah. It's a part of me. It's my will. It's my wisdom. It's my heart. It's everything. I'm giving you me when I give you this Torah." And that's why you have to put an aleph at Every time I speak to you, I'm saying I love you. You're important to me. You matter. You mean the world to me. Every time God spoke to Moshe, it was first by calling him with this one little beautiful word of vayikra. I love you. You're important. You mean the world to me, and there has to be this aleph, this small aleph, because the small aleph is the secret of everything. Because aleph is the number one. Now, it's very counterintuitive that the letter aleph should have three parts. If anything, [laughter] the first letter of the alephbet, which equals one, should be only one component. That would be perfect. It would match. It would be It would would make sense. The one is just one one maybe a dot, like the yud. Let's say the yud really should be the aleph. But no, if you look at the aleph, it's really three letters that make up the aleph. So, why do Why do three things make up one? Because we're not talking about one, we're talking about oneness. Oneness is the uniting of multiple things. And so, the aleph really represents the union between the two minds of the students in this context, and how they come together in an aleph. In a husband and wife scenario, it's also the the physical connection of the making children. And in God and Mosha and God and us, how we unite through Torah, is also the letter aleph with the vav in the middle, cuz we know that God and the Torah and the Jews are one. That's the aleph. The The yud on top is God, the yud on the bottom is the Jewish people, and the vav in the middle is how we unite through God's Torah. But also the students When the students Two students or a couple get together, so husband and wife also the top yud is the man, bottom yud is the woman, and the vav is how the man and woman become one. And when two real real on a soul level learning partners, like they were in this case, when they come together, there's the yud on top is one of the chavrusas, is one of the learning partners, the yud on the bottom is the other learning partner, and the vav is the Torah that makes them one and their ideas one and unites them. And so, Torah learning is all about We're all one. We're one. We're family. We're soul brothers. And it's all about unity. On the other side, of the secular side, for example, Bil'am represents the negative side of this. He was a prophet, but he was impure, and he was immoral, and he was greedy, and all these flaws that we talk about him. I mean, we don't know We don't always have to look outside. We could look at ourselves. We also have to work on these character flaws. And you see now, our great sages, 24,000 of them, they had these type of flaws of that we compare usually and talk about Bil'am. But but but they had these flaws. They were separated and jealous and and hateful and selfish instead of love. Cuz the word love itself, ahava, love, is the gematria of 13. And 13 is the gematria of echad. And so, the union of Torah and and and two souls that are learning Torah, and of course us with Hashem, it all has to be a oneness. It has to lead to the echad, the love that brings us to one, not the separation and hate, which makes us two. If we're separate, that's the outside realms. are separate. The internal realms have to all be unified and reach a divine oneness. And so, that was the real flaw of these students. They did not become one. And if you don't have the oneness and the love that makes you one, then you don't have that aleph at the end of the word vayikra. And it's no longer, "I love you. You matter to me. You mean the world to me." And vice versa. It becomes me me me and you separately me me me. And that is a fire that destroys. There's a fire and a passion that built on love and acceptance and sharing and oneness, which builds the Beit Hamikdash, which builds the world, which builds a home, which builds a relationship. When Hashem is in between us, then it's a fire with Hashem, and that's a fire that warms and builds and makes one. But when it's a selfish, hateful coming from the side of separation, it's a destructive fire that that that that that separates and destroys the oneness and unity that God wants in this world. And so these students, from this perspective we can understand that it was impossible for them to bring the Torah of Aleph to this world, to carry on the real Torah and the Vayikra of Aleph, I love you and we're one and we're in this together. It was impossible for them to accomplish that. They had their chance and on their very high level they failed. And now at least partially, the judgment makes more sense to us. Because if you if the whole point of the union of each of these two pairs, we call we call them zugot, if they were meant to become a zug and they're not, then they didn't accomplish the the first goal of Torah learning is to be to become friends and to unite and to help each other. Because the entire Torah is all about love your fellow as you love yourself. Which is a very extreme statement. The secret to why the Torah says to love you like you love yourself is cuz he is you and you are him. There's a part of me and you and a part of you and me. Especially two people that learn together. The real secret of the Jewish people, and this is the time and place to bring it out is this. Today we're 15 million bodies, but we're not 15 million souls. The real secret of the Jews and the oneness of the Jewish people is literally literally, not figuratively, not a cute saying, we are literally one soul divided into 15 million bodies right now, roughly in this on Earth right now. That's the Jewish people. The real secret of the Jewish people and why we're here and why we will always be here is because we're not 15 million souls in 15 million bodies. We're 15 million bodies with one soul. That's the secret of the Jewish people. That's the unity and the oneness and the love that without it then we're no then then it's just not us. And so if we don't behave in the way that we're supposed to to fit and match what our essence is, then we we we we we destroy. And so these students, on their very subtle level, instead of bringing more unity, more oneness, more love, and bringing the world closer to Mashiach, they unfortunately, on their level of course, selfishly separated from each other and made the peru, they made destruction. And so therefore, they could not be alive to carry the Torah to the next generation cuz we have to have Without that aleph, it's not Torah. It's what they do in universities. It's just information. We're going to I don't care about you. I care about me, and anything that's good for me is what's good. And it's just information. Life is not about information. Life is about life. And And And information is necessary to live that life. But without the love and the respect and the oneness of humanity and of certainly of the Jewish people that are at the forefront of teaching this lesson, then there's no point. That's what I wanted to share with you today. I hope with this deeper perspective and and perception of the secret of Lag Baomer and the secret of the aleph and the secret of the the real soul connection and soul level, which we should hopefully tap into this Lag Baomer, a day of mercy, a day of joy, a day of singing, we should become one soul dancing together with Mashiach, b'ezrat Hashem. And that is another secret. Beautiful idea that I think the source of it comes with Simchas Torah. On Lag Baomer, we hold hands and make a circle and dance around a fire, which is one of the customs, in a circle. In a circle, we're all equal. We're all equally distant from the center. The center of existence is God. And when we hold hands and make a circle, we become this oneness that God's at the center of. That's the love. That's the oneness. That's the unity. That's what it's all about. And without it, we have missed the entire point, and therefore, we had to learn the hard way. We had to lose 24,000 great men because this is what it's all about. And without this, it's all worth nothing.